TD Jakes - My Heart Attacks
God says he picks us according to our heart, and he trusts us according to our heart. Look at Joseph. Joseph was blessed above all of his brethren. All of the other brothers, none of the other 12 got the blessing that Joseph got, but God could trust Joseph's heart. If he blessed one of those other brothers, they would have been vindictive, they woulda got even, they woulda fought back, but he knew that Joseph had the kind of heart that would allow him to be thrown in a pit, lied on in Potiphar's house, sent to jail, and finally get a chance to get even, but because his heart was good, he said, "You meant it for evil, but God made it"... oh, talk to me, somebody.
Where do we get this intensity from? Does God have feelings? Does God have feelings, or is he just sitting up in heaven with power and no passion? Because power with no passion is dangerous. Power with no passion has no temperance. God absolutely has feelings. The Bible talks about when God is angry, the Hebrew word called "roth", he was roth. And the Hebrew word roth means angry with fire. That means when God gets mad, he's really mad. That's why I would rather tick off everybody in here than to... when God gets mad, he swallow up folk. The whole thing, just swallowed up the whole country. Roth, he was angry with fire.
And the Bible says Jesus was moved with compassion. Some of the miracles he did, unscheduled miracles were done purely because he was moved with compassion. He was moved with compassion. He stands over Jerusalem, and he weeps. "Oh, Jerusalem, Jerusalem, how oft would I have gathered you as a hen would her chicks, but ye would not," weeping for Jerusalem. He comes to the funeral of Lazarus, misses the funeral, comes to the graveside service, and he sits with those that are weeping, and he weeps.
We have not heard much about God's heart. We have heard a lot about his hand, but not his heart. But David knew something about God's heart. Even when he was wrong, he knew something about God's heart. David would throw himself on God's heart, on the mercies of God. He said, "I would rather fall into the hands of God than to fall in the hands of men". Why, is it because God had less power? No, God had more power, but he also had more passion, and he was more likely to be forgiving than people are. So, you cannot judge how God feels about you by how people feel about you, because often God feels totally different from how... oh, I'm gonna talk to somebody today.
God has feelings. Touch somebody and say, "God has feelings". Do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, whereby... oh, the Holy Spirit can grieve? The Holy Spirit can grieve. God definitely has feelings. So, the problem, it's not wrong to have feelings, but it is dangerous when feelings have you. That's when the heart attacks. Imagine, biologically, if your heart... I love the term that they use when you have a physical infirmity as they say, "I had a heart attack". Do you know what a heart attack is? A heart attack is mutiny in your body. It's your body fighting you. Sickness brings with it a feeling of betrayal, because if it were an outer enemy, I could deal with it, but when the enemy is into me, the heart attacks in the physical.
The heart attacks, shuts down everything. My heart goes and shuts down everything. If that's true in the physical, is it not true in the spiritual? Have you ever had your heart shut down everything? Take the taste out of food, take the wet out of water, take the breeze out of wind. You don't even know it's passing you by because your heart is broken. And when that heart is broken, when that heart is broken, people trying to fix it often makes it worse. Can I get a good amen? It brings me to my next question, does Jesus care about feelings? We know that God has 'em, does he care about how I feel? Because when I'm in pain, the first thing the devil tells me, "God don't even care. God don't care. God don't even care. If he cared, you wouldn't go through that".
The first thing that goes on trial when my feelings are amok is, does he care how I feel? When Peter's about to drown in the boat, and the boat is about to capsize, he runs down to the bottom of the boat, and he assaults the character of God with one question, "Carest thou not that we perish? Carest thou not that I'm lonely? Carest thou not that this is not fair? Carest thou not that I've been betrayed? Carest thou not"? You'd be surprised at the people who have given up on their faith because they don't believe that God cares about what you care about. I'm gonna fix that for you today. There is nobody who cares about how you feel like God. The fact that you have feelings does not mean that you don't have faith.
I know that's a popular teaching, but it's popularly wrong. God looks at Cain and Abel, and he comes to Cain, and he says, "Why is thy countenance fallen"? Why are you walking around looking sad? Isn't it something for God who runs the universe to watch your face? You don't look happy. Wow, did you know that God checks your face? "Why is thy countenance fallen"? Why are you walking around the house looking like that? And yet, the devil constantly keeps telling you that God doesn't care how you feel, what? "For we have not a high priest who cannot be touched by the feelings of our infirmity, tempted in all points like as we are, yet without sin". The Bible says he can be touched not by your infirmity, but by the feelings of your infirmity.
Touch your neighbor and say, "God cares how you feel". Ask Hannah what happens when she walks in the temple and lays out on the altar like a drunk woman before God. And because of how she felt about it, God opened up her womb and blessed her to give birth because of how she felt. See, we're hiding what we ought to reveal. You need to lay it out on the altar and wail, and cry, and kick, and scream, because God cares about... Jesus says, "Whatsoever you desire," whatsoever you care about, whatsoever you care about, "When you pray, believe that you have received it, and ye shall have it".
You need to turn your heart loose on the thing that's after you, and open your heart unto God, and cry unto God. Because he says whatever you care about, that's what I care about. In fact, "Cast all your cares on me, because I care about you". I care about you. I care about you. I care about you. I care about you. God says, "I care about you". I care about you. God says, "The hairs on your head are numbered". They're numbered, not counted. Counted means I know how many are there, but numbers means I know which one fell out of your head. God has a number on every hair in your head. Don't you know that he cares? If he cares for the sparrow, I know that he cares. Hallelujah, I feel glory coming in this place. I feel a lifting coming in this place. I feel a deliverance coming in this place right now.
Touch three people, ask 'em, "What's on your heart"? What's on your heart? That's what God wants to minister to. He wants to work with what's on your heart. He wants to touch the areas in your life that are on your heart, that's attacking your joy, attacking your peace, attacking your contentment, attacking your sense of well-being. You can dance all you want to, but it doesn't mean you got joy. God says, "I wanna stop the things that are attacking your heart". "Why is your countenance falling"?
He says, "I'm worried about you, you don't look happy anymore. You dropped your head, why did you drop your head? What's going on with you? Are you okay? "He says, "I care about you". I care so much about you that if your heart cries, I can hear your heart cry, even when your lips don't move. You know, your lips don't have to move, I'm gonna say it again, your lips don't have to move for your heart to cry.
Last week, we were talking about pressure. We were talking about pressure, and one of the things that produces heart attacks is pressure. Pressure will make you go numb. It will stop you from living. And because you are traumatized by shock, when people go into trauma, they stop feeling as a defense mechanism against pain. If I shut the door, it won't hurt. And for a moment, it does give you some relief to just be a mummy of the walking dead. "Good morning, welcome to J.C. Penney's. Good morning, how are you today"?
You can go into robot mode and fool most people. They won't even know that you shut off the valve to manage the pain. And it works pretty good for a while. No pain gets in, but no pleasure either. No more ugliness, but no more beauty either. And you're just walking around a shell of what you were created to be. And you can't figure out what's wrong. Why is my faith not working? I go to church, I gave a special offering, I spinned around seven times, I dropped down on one knee and hollered, "Jesus". I did the slide, I did the breakdance, I moon walked like Michael Jackson, I did a split like James Brown, and I'm still broke, frustrated, and angry, what's wrong? What's wrong with God? No, it's what's wrong with you.
Well, what am I supposed to do? What am I supposed to do? I must guard my heart, for out of it flows the issues of life. Guarding is different from blocking. Guarding is different from blocking. He said guard it, not jam it up, not shut it down, not close it off. He said guard your heart. He said I want you to protect it, and one of the ways you guard it is by keeping it open. He said I want you to protect it by keeping it open, because out of it flows, out of it flows, out of it flows, out of it flows, out of it flows. Your heart should be flowing, and you're not seeing God's best in your life. You're not seeing it because you have closed your heart, and that's all God is looking at, and all that God would look at in you is closed. This Sunday morning, God wants to put a catheter in your heart, a flush that cleanses your heart.
Let me explain something to you. Worship is not just worship, worship is a cleansing agent that cleanses your heart. Have you ever tried to worship and be angry? You can't be angry and worship. I mean, you can hold your hands and say, "Oh, hallelujah, hallelujah," but if you really start worshiping, and you open up your heart, worship will flush anger out of your heart. You can come in here not speaking to somebody, and worship God to the point that when you walk past, "God bless you". You will speak to 'em so fast, you don't even know why you spoke to 'em, because worship cleanses the heart. We're not trying to do it so that we can have theatrics. We're not trying to take you out of your personality, the only thing we're trying to do is get you to purify your heart. None but the pure in heart shall see God.
The people that keep having experience, after experience, after experience, but they keep flushing it over and over again, over, and over, and over again. God says, "If you will flush, I will stop your heart attack". If you will flush, I will stop your heart attack. Well, what stops us from flushing? I'm glad you asked me that. What stops us from flushing is the arrogance that we have on the inside, and here is the epitome of our arrogance, that what you had in mind was what God wanted for you. Samuel's big mistake is that Eli was what he had in mind. I found out you can't get over anything until you give up what you had in mind. Am I helping anybody today?
You see, what is clogging our heart is the idolatry, the idolatry of worshiping what we had in mind, what you thought the marriage would be like, what you thought the job would be like, what you thought a daughter would be like, what you thought having a son would be like. That you worship at the shrine of what you had in mind, and you want to crown what you thought. The only thing you will praise God for is when he gives you what you had in mind. You're not serving God, you want God to serve you. You're not serving God, you want God to serve you. You want God to serve what you had in mind, which means you have more faith in your thoughts than you do in his. Because if you believe what he thought, you would rejoice when they come, and you would rejoice when they go. Because you would know that if God allowed it to walk out of your life, it's only because he's got something better in mind for your life.
I don't know who I'm preaching to, but this is the moment where you give God praise. You are going to praise him not for what you had in mind, but for what he had in mind for your life. You're going to praise him. You're going to praise him for his will, for his purpose, for his plan, for his place in your life. You're gonna praise him until demons tremble, and hell gets nervous. You're going to praise him because you know your life is in his hands. You're going to praise him in the city, in the field. You're gonna be blessed when you go in, you're gonna be blessed when you go out. You're gonna give God the praise. Hallelujah, hallelujah, the catheter is here, the catharsis is here, the cleansing is here. Would you take a moment and open your mouth and lift your hands and heart, and allow God to flush every pain, every agony, every storm, every grief, every disappointment?
Jesus said, "If you believe on me, woman, as the Scriptures have said, out of your belly shall flow". When you get it right, you're gonna flow again. You're gonna flow again. Touch your neighbor and say, "I'm getting ready to flow again". Some of you haven't flown for years. You haven't flown for years. You've been living, but you haven't flown for years. You've been existing, but you haven't flown for years. But God said you're getting ready to flow again. You're getting ready to flow again. You're getting ready to flow in another dimension. You're getting ready to flow. I feel the glory of God. I feel the glory of God. I feel the glory of God. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Tell your other neighbor, "I'm getting ready to flow again".