Steven Furtick - You're Not Overwhelmed. You're Distracted
This is an excerpt from: A Recipe for Resentment
The Enemy is trying to weaken what you were sent to do by getting you to focus on something you can’t control. Of all the things Martha could manage…the mortgage… Of all the things Martha could manage…the menu… Of all the things Martha could manage, one of them was not Mary. There are a few things you can’t control in this world. One is weather, and the other is others. Martha was distracted. She wasn’t even distracted playing that game my family is all addicted to with the blocks on their phone. She was distracted baking, cleaning, preparing. She was distracted. But she was multitasking. Right?
And this is the illustration I want to give. Okay. I really think you’re going to remember this. This is the part of the sermon where I think when they say, «Did you go to church Sunday»? «Yeah». «Was it good»? «It was all right». «What did he preach about»? «Oh, he did this one thing where…» This is what you’re going to show them. I pictured you preaching this back to your spouse this week. Okay? So I’m going to give you something. I’m going to give you something to use as ammunition this week when the people in your life start acting kind of «Martha-ey» or when you start feeling it inside of yourself. Now, I asked Holly. I said, «Wear something to church that you wouldn’t mind being seen in on camera wearing it».
So here we go. Holly is going to be in my illustration. Come on, Holly. I know y’all love her, but she’s got to play the part of Martha for a moment, just for illustration purposes. I don’t have her play this part because I think she resembles this character. In fact, I marvel at her ability to balance things. But I was thinking about something last night. You know, Abbey had her birthday on Monday. She turned 14. Yeah, happy birthday, baby. But, of course, the party went on all week, and we were planning a party on Saturday.
So, stand up. Okay, party on Saturday. Lots of guests. Very, very cool occasion. Then, I watched Holly as she was checking her calendar about a week or two ago, and she remembered that Graham’s wrestling banquet (state champion, two-time state champion right here)… His banquet is also on Saturday. Party is at 6:00. Banquet is at 6:00. (Stand up, Graham.) So, now I watched her just become completely disappointed in herself, because she realized, «Now I’ve got a party, a birthday, a banquet, and a highly emotionally needy husband who needs extra emotional support before he preaches on Saturday night». I’m telling you, I am such a baby before I preach. I need her to do everything for me for the 12 hours before I preach. I can’t think about anything but the sermon. So, we’ve got a birthday, a banquet, and a baby.
Now, I want to illustrate this, and I’m going to take my time with it. Is it all right if I take my time with it today? Okay, okay, okay. Because I see some of you. You’re not bad; you’re distracted. You’re not wicked; you’re distracted. You keep going off on people. «Does anybody care that we’re here»?! Because you’re distracted. You’re mad because you’re distracted. Your hunger is distracting you from your true heart. The demands are distracting you from the destiny. But here is the thing about this distraction. (We’re doing this as a family today, apparently.)
In the Greek, the word for distraction is not like the English word for distraction. In English, we say distraction to mean something that comes up that we didn’t plan for. Right? Well, in the Greek, it doesn’t mean something you didn’t plan for. Often, in Scripture, something you didn’t plan for is called a miracle. So, a lot of times, you will see that someone who the disciples saw as a distraction, like a blind man by the roadside, was the reason Jesus was on the journey, because he said, «Bring him to me and let me heal him». «But, Jesus, he’s a distraction». «No, he’s not. He is the destination».
The word for distraction and the problem with distraction is not when you’re doing more than one thing at the same time. That is called adulthood. That is called maturity, when you’re juggling this and juggling that. I keep hearing people talk about, «You need to be more present. You need to be present with your family at the dinner table». Okay. Let me tell you what that means to me. I eat with them. I do not kill them. That’s my definition of present. «Yeah, but do you put the phones up»? Sometimes. Sometimes the phone is the only thing that numbs the pain of their arguing to get me through the dinner without indigestion. Y’all are so fake in this church today, acting like y’all all pray around the table and share Scripture verses over tacos.
«And then we have Worship Wednesday for our family. 'Here I am to worship.'» So, the process is this. I’m just going to lead Holly around for a moment. Okay? There are times in your life where, like Martha, you will feel so busy (I don’t know who is in this season right now), where you will feel like, «Okay, I’m doing good, I’m doing good, » and then all of a sudden, a different priority will come, and you have to change direction. Changing directions is not distraction. That’s called pivoting. Pivoting is an essential skill so you don’t get so locked into what you thought was important that you miss what was really important.
So, in order for her to be the Holly she needs to be, the mom she needs to be, the pastor she needs to be, the leader she needs to be, the daughter she needs to be, the friend she needs to be, that means there are sometimes where she is going to feel like she has multiple personalities while she is trying to walk in multiple roles. That is normal. That is not sinful. It is the skill of pivoting. It is realizing that one moment you may have to be yelling down the stairs, «Did you brush your teeth»?
The next moment, you might have to pick up the phone and use a little bit more of that bedside manner with somebody who is struggling in the hospital with cancer that goes to the church. This is not sinful; this is skillful. It’s her ability to discern in this moment, «Okay. I planned to do this today, but that completely interrupted my day. I’m going to have to go a different direction this day. I’m going to have to get it done a different way today. I’m not going to be able to do it how I thought I was going to do it today». «I’m going to have to cook for all of these disciples by myself today, and Peter won’t shut up. He keeps yelling, 'Martha, where’s the peanuts? Martha, where’s the gummy worms? ' This guy is loudmouthed. 'Does anybody care that we’re here? '»
So, while she is being led through her day, that is completely normal. The Lord will lead you, and he’ll lead you sometimes to do something you didn’t plan to do. He’ll lead you to do something that wasn’t on your list, and you have to be attentive in those moments. We sang a song earlier, «You gave me one more day». That song was written while we were finishing writing another song. One of the songwriters in the room started to play something that I had not heard, and I said, «What is that»? He said, «Something that just came to me». I said, «No, we’re going to write that right now». We wrote the song off of something he was doing as a distraction while we were waiting to record. If we did not pay attention to the moment we were in just to fulfill the agenda we had set, we would have missed the song that we sang that is now blessing people. Life is like that. You’ve got to be attentive to God.
See how she’s doing this? She’s fine. She doesn’t know where I’m taking her. That’s what it means to walk in faith. It’s like, «I don’t know what I’m going to face today. I don’t know who’s going to need me today». Especially if you’re responsible for others. Some of you got your own company because you didn’t want anybody to tell you what to do. Now you’ve got hundreds of terrorist employees, and their needs become your agenda. You have to move like this.
So, before we just chop Martha down («Oh, she should have sat at the feet of Jesus»), realize that there were things that needed to happen, and everybody was calling her attention. «Martha! Martha! Where do you keep the water for the washing of feet? Martha! Martha! There are 12 of these guys. They’ve already used up all of the water. Martha! Martha! What are we going to do? The bread is… I burned the bread. I’m sorry, Martha. Martha! Martha! This guy Judas is looking at your jewelry. You want me to put it in a different drawer? Martha! Martha»!
So, that’s what’s happening. Right? It’s just demand after demand after demand, because she is a good mom. She can be a good mom as long as she’s just «Mom, I have a birthday». She can plan that. But what about when it’s «Mom, Mom»? «Martha, Martha». Because now I’ve got a birthday and I’ve got a banquet and I’ve got a baby. And she can do this. (Let her go.) If Graham needs her… I’ve seen it a million times. She’s so good. (Just gently, boy. Don’t tug her too hard. Just gently.) She can do that. «Oh, Mom, I need this».
I’m using the illustration of a mom, but you could feel this as a young person. I’m using the illustration of a mom, but you can definitely feel it as a dad. I’m using the illustration as a mom, but you can definitely feel it as you navigate all of the roles and the frequencies your life has to occupy and the places you have to show up. I’m a student. I’m an employee. I’m a boss. I’m an employee. I’m a pastor, and I’m a dad. I get it. So she’s mom. This is fine. She’s a mom. This is fine. (Let go.) But the Greek word, where it says, «Martha was distracted…» The Greek word for distracted… (I’m stalling because I’m trying to remember how to say it.) Periespato.
Now, that’s the word. Here’s what it means. It means pulled apart. So watch this. (Let go.) She can pivot or (let go, Abbey) she can pivot. Neither of those are bad. That’s life. You’ve got to dance with things, you know. You’ve got to dance with life. You’ve got to make it look easy too. You’ve got to multitask, and up and down. That’s called dancing. This is reality. Stop praying that your life would get simpler. You want your life to get simpler? Die. Either die or dance. It’s dance or die. It’s pay this down, pay this off, hold this back. It’s dance or die. Smile here, cry there. Win here, lose there. Take the award there, take the hit there. It’s dance or die. (I should have called the message «Dance or Die».)
That is reality, but when I have «Martha, Martha, » and a birthday at 6:00 and a banquet at 6:00 and both are pulling me and I cannot give myself the grace, my expectations and other limitations minus grace… What is that? This (go that way)…this (go that way) is a recipe for resentment. Is this for you? Have you been feeling like this? This is why Martha feels like a martyr. It’s like she’s up on the cross. «I guess I’ll just be the only one to cook around here, Jesus. Since you came to die on the cross, I guess I’ll just die for you in this kitchen». But Jesus didn’t call Martha to be a martyr. He said, «Martha, Martha». «Martha, Martha». You can’t be «Mom, Mom. Mom, Mom». You can’t be «Holly, Mom. Holly, Mom». You can’t be all that at once.
Now comes the solution. He says, «It’s not that what you’re doing is wrong. It’s not that I don’t want to eat. It’s not just 'be less busy.'» How many dumb sermons have we heard about «Be less busy»? Okay. Well, tell that to my professor. Tell that to my boss. I realized it is not busyness that is the problem. The problem is division. So, you did the birthday, I did the banquet, and none of them are going to end up in therapy over it. Oh, I need to say that. Y’all sit down for a minute. I need to talk about this. Who made this list of all the things we think we have to do to be a good parent today? I’m going to come back here behind the safety of my pulpit when I say this.
Okay. This is going to be controversial. I could literally say that the Bible is not the Word of God and get less hate than what I’m about to get for what I’m about to say right now. By the way, the Bible is the Word of God, just in case I get clipped. Okay. Now, that being said, your kid does not have to play on every team. I’m going to help you come down off that cross, baby. I’m going to help you from feeling like this. Your kid does not have to be in AP chemistry in kindergarten. «Yeah, but they need to get it on their résumé. What if they apply for a college that doesn’t accept that kind of class»? Then put them in a community college or make them an entrepreneur and tell them you did it to teach them character. Teach them to sell Jolly Ranchers out of their backpack. I don’t care. But stop putting all this pressure on stuff that robs your peace. I’m going to help you, Martha, Martha.
«Martha, Martha». There’s only one Martha. «Martha, Martha, Martha». That’s what it sounds like. That’s why Jesus called her «Martha, Martha, » because that’s how she felt in that moment. «There’s only one of me, and I’m being pulled». «Martha, you can work in the kitchen or you can sit at my feet, but being mad because Mary is at my feet while you’re working in the kitchen… That is going to kill your joy». Feeling like you’re a bad dad because you’re not the dad like the other kids have… That is going to kill your potential as a parent. How many times have I felt bad about myself as a dad because I never taught my kids how to fish? They don’t need to learn how to fish. They’ve got fish sticks at the grocery store. Cut out the whole middleman of the ocean or the lake. Straight to the freezer. I’m serious. Whose list is this?