Peter Tan-Chi - What's Wrong With Us?
«Resolving Conflict in Truth and Love». Now, how many of you are having relationship conflicts? As of today, there are some people that don’t want to talk to you, or there are some people you don’t like to talk to, or you have issues in relationships, conflict in relationships? Raise your hand. Wow, you’re being honest. All right, so relationship conflict is inevitable, seriously. And many times, you don’t know how to deal with it. Our temptation is to ignore it. Well, I will teach you from the Bible, how do you resolve relationship conflict? Three simple principles we will discuss today.
Number one, you must «Develop Divine Perspective». Learn to see things from God’s perspective, especially, when it comes to conflict. Conflict is not always bad. In fact, conflict is inevitable, but it’s going to be a blessing if you solve it properly. See people from God’s perspective. Number two, you must address the problem. Not just address the problem, but «Address the Root Problem». There’s a big difference between superficial problem and the root problem. Many times, you are not able to solve conflict because you are focusing on the superficial problem. Go to the root. Number three, you have one solution in any conflict. You have to 'Focus on Jesus' because only Jesus can give you the strength to forgive. Only Jesus can give you the power to love. Only Jesus can give you the patience to bear all of the problems.
So, are you ready? All right. 1 Corinthians chapter 1. Let’s read together. All right. Let’s begin with verse 1. Together. I like all of us to read together. «Paul, called as an apostle of Jesus Christ by the will of God, and Sosthenes our brother». Right in the beginning, Paul begins to establish his authority. Paul is saying, «I am an apostle». The word apostle simply means what? Special ambassador. Somebody sent out. Paul was specially chosen by God. The Corinthians, some of them were questioning his authority because he’s not part of the original twelve. But Paul is saying, «I’m an apostle of Jesus Christ. To the church of God» I want you to think of the word 'church of God' «which is at Corinth, to those who have been sanctified in Christ Jesus, saints by calling, with all who in every place call on the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, their Lord and ours».
Right at the start, you see Paul’s perspective. He was addressing the believers. He’s calling them 'to the church of God'. A Church is from the Greek word, 'Ecclesia'. 'Eccle' from the word 'exit', you are called out to belong to God. Next, look at his perspective. He called them what? They are «sanctified in Christ». I want you to think of the word «sanctification». Next, «saints». What is Paul saying? You see, learn to see people not as they are, but what they can become in Christ. These guys were sinners, but Paul is now telling them, «You are sanctified in Christ». What is the meaning of the word «sanctification»? Sanctified, you are declared holy. You are set apart without sin because of what Christ did for you.
So, learn to see people not as they are, but what they can become in Christ. Can I tell you our problem? We look at people as they are. We judge people based on their past. So somehow, we don’t give people the encouragement to change. But God does not see you as you are. He sees what you can become in Christ. So he called them what? Saints! Notice, he called them what? «Saints», everybody read this: «…saints by calling». Are you aware that you are a saint? Can you turn to your neighbor? Tell your neighbor, «You are a saint». Excuse me. You’ll be asking, «How can I be a saint? I am a sinner»! Correct. However, because of Christ Jesus, what happened to your sins? What happened? The day you repented of your sins and you come to Jesus, the Bible says 'all your sins were paid for by Jesus.' Therefore, in the eyes of God, you are without sin. That is the meaning of the word «saints».
Are you a saint? Yes or no? Yes. Then I suggest live like one. Satan will tell you, «You are a sinner». «You are a sinner». «You’re a sinner». No, no. From this day onward, when you look at the mirror, you look at yourself now. «I am a saint». Wow! Live like one. Can you turn to your neighbor? Tell your neighbor, «You are a saint». But are you living like a saint? And that’s why you have discipleship. That’s why you need to grow because God does not see you as a sinner anymore. What’s my proof? Look at 1 Corinthians 6:9-11, how he described the Corinthians. Everybody, «Do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived; neither fornicators…» any kind of sex outside of marriage is called «fornicating».
Singles, with singles, that’s called «fornication». It’s immorality «nor idolaters (anything you put ahead of God), nor adulterers (married people having sex outside of marriage), effeminate, nor homosexuals…» Now listen, God does not discriminate against homosexuals or lesbians. He’s simply saying, «These are all sins». Example, «thieves, covetous…» But what is 'covetous' in Tagalog? 'Swapang' (greedy). «nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God». I was in the Philippine Congress this year two times talking to senators and congressmen, and I explained to them the danger of the SOGIE bill. I said, «You have to understand. Once that bill is passed, if you don’t amend it, if you don’t correct it, this is going to happen: When I preach on a Sunday and we talk about what the Bible is saying, it will become a criminal offense because I can no longer preach what the Bible is saying».
And I was telling the people, «Who determines what is right or wrong»? It’s not the majority of the people. It’s not me. I am a servant of the Lord, and I’m just telling you what God is saying. So you have to understand when you want to really be loving, you have to understand that to be loving means -what? You’ve got to speak the truth in love. You’ve got to balance it. And that’s why I like this amazing verse. Notice what it says. Everybody, read. (v.11) «Such were some of you». Ah! The Corinthians were really immoral people. Such were some of them. But everybody read «…but you were washed», wow, «but you were sanctified, but you were justified…» The word 'justified' means what? Declared not guilty, «in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and in the Spirit of our God».
People don’t realize that the church at Corinth is surrounded by temples. And one of the most famous temple there is not to Poseidon, it is to the goddess, Aphrodite. Aphrodite is the Greek goddess of love, and they have at least 1000 temple prostitutes. But so amazing is that God loved the Corinthians. He saved them. So my friend, first principle. If you want to resolve conflict, learn to develop what? Biblical Divine perspective. See people not as they are. See what they can become in Christ. Saints in the Bible are living people. So, please encourage your children, encourage one another. Do not be deceived by Satan and keep condemning yourself. The truth is this: I’m a sinner, saved by grace. In the eyes of God, I am forgiven. In the eyes of God, you are a saint. The warning is simply this: He wants to make sure you don’t abuse. You know why?
«Do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God»? He talks about this kind of lifestyle will not inherit the kingdom of God. Therefore, is it possible to be a Christian and keep on living in sin? A Christian can fall into sin. That’s possible. But can a Christian continue living in sin? What’s my proof? Those of you who have Jesus Christ, when you commit sin, how do you feel? Do you feel good or do you feel bad? Be honest. You feel bad. Why do you feel bad? Because you have the Spirit of Christ in you. If there are people among you today, right now, here, or listening to me, if you commit sin and you don’t feel bad, you don’t feel guilty, then my answer to you is this. I don’t judge you, but you have to ask yourself, «Do you have Jesus as your Lord and Savior»? Because to have Jesus, it is almost impossible to continue living in sin. Amen.
You will be miserable. And secondly, God will discipline you. Do you know God does not allow His children to live in sin? God will discipline you. Sickness, financial problem… Why? Because God loves you. Look at this. Remember this statement. God loves you as you are, but because He loves you as you are, He will not allow you to remain as you are. So if you come to Christ, your sins are forgiven, then sanctification, you will become more and more like Jesus. You know why? Because Philippians 1:6 tells us something. «For I am confident of this, that He who began a good work in you will perfect it until the day of Christ Jesus».
What the Bible is saying is simply this: God who began a good work in you by making sure you come to CCF or you come to a person and somehow the person shared the Gospel with you and you came to know Jesus… That is the day He began the good work in you or even before that. He will not stop, He will keep working until what? You become more and more like Christ. Notice. «He who began a good work in you will perfect it…» (Philippians 1:6) He’s going to be faithful. God is faithful. He’s going to do something in your life. Saints, are you happy that you are a saint and you are being sanctified? All right, let’s read the next verse. Look at how the apostle Paul described the early Corinthians. All right?
Let’s continue reading. What does it say? (1 Corinthians 1:4-5) «I thank my God always…» Notice, he’s very positive. You know, when you correct somebody, you start with being positive. Don’t slap him/her immediately (with the negative). Okay? Are you familiar with the sandwich principle every time you attend a husband and wife seminar? What is a sandwich principle? You want to correct your husband, or your wife, or your children? Positive, first, and then (the negative) and then, positive again. Understand? Don’t attack immediately. All right, sandwich. Look at the sandwich of Paul. (v.4) «I thank God always concerning you for the grace of God which was given you in Christ Jesus».
You see, Paul described them. «You are a product of God’s grace». What is grace? Unmerited favor. By grace, we are saved. «You are a product of God’s grace». Until you understand the grace of God, you will never be sure of going to heaven. You know why? Because you’re always thinking 'you got to be good enough'. You will never be good enough. Believe me, you will never be good enough. You need Jesus. Continue reading, «…even as the testimony concerning Christ was confirmed in you, so that…» Everybody, read now, «you are not lacking in any gift». These guys have lots of gifts. In the Bible, you will learn that there are over 21 spiritual gifts listed in the Bible — Ephesians, Corinthians, Romans. However, the Corinthian believers have lots of gifts. Understand? Except there’s a problem. They’re fighting among themselves. And then notice, some of them, praise God, «await eagerly the revelation of Lord Jesus Christ».
So many of them are godly. They’re waiting for the coming of Jesus. What else? «…who will also confirm you to the end, blameless in the day of our Lord Jesus Christ, God is faithful…» (v.7-9) You know what Paul is saying? God is the one at work in your life. God will confirm your faith. Ladies and gentlemen, I’m so happy that my Christian life is not dependent on me. My Christian life is dependent on the faithfulness of God. Amen? And that’s why you have to always understand, you’ve got to see things from God’s perspective. Don’t give up on people. I know some of you are living with people, and in your mind, they are hopeless. Do you have people like that? They keep repeating the same mistake again and again and again, and you feel like giving up? Do you have Dgroup members who are difficult to disciple? Yes or no? You know what I tell our pastors? I tell our pastors, «Do not look at people as they are. You see what they can become in Christ».
In Christ, my friend, you become more and more like Jesus. However, if your lifestyle is of continuous living in sin, that’s another story. What’s point number two? 'Address the Root Problem.' What is the meaning of 'root problem'? You go to the real problem. You don’t solve the superficial problem. When there are quarrels, you have symptoms, but you also have problems, real problems. Example, if you are sick, you have fever, what will the doctor do? A good doctor will not prescribe medicine immediately. A good doctor will try to find out what is causing the fever. If people are fighting, you’d want to go to the root. What is the problem? That’s why the Bible tells us you need to understand biblical perspective.
That’s only possible when you read the Bible, know the word of God. And then, you’re able to address the root problem. Now, once you know the the root problem, the Bible tells you how you are to address it. The Bible tells us you are «to speak the truth in love». (Ephesians 4:15) Let’s read that verse together, everybody. «…speaking the truth in love». Now, can I tell you how Paul did it? Let’s read 1 Corinthians 1:10–11 Lovingly but truthfully. Everybody read, «I exhort you». Notice the word «exhort». In Tagalog, «I beseech you…» Paul could have commanded them, «Hey, I’m commanding you»! No, no. «I’m appealing to you, I exhort you… brethren (they are believers) by the name of the Lord Jesus Christ…»
You see, he establishes the foundation. Jesus is the key. Everybody, read now. «that you all agree and that there be no divisions among you, but that you be made complete in the same mind and in the same judgment». (v.11) «For I have been informed concerning you, my brethren (he calls them brethren), by Chloe’s people» Chloe, believe it or not, is a woman. She was probably financially well-off and this is what happened. «there are quarrels among you». That word 'quarrel' means strife, conflict. You have problems. Now, what kind of problem? Continue reading. Paul is saying… Now this is what I mean: Notice, speak the truth in love. «…each one of you is saying, 'I am of Paul, ' and 'I of Apollos, ' and 'I of Cephas, ' and 'I of Christ.' Has Christ been divided? Paul was not crucified for you, was he? Or were you baptized? in the name of Paul?» 1 Corinthians 1:12–13.
You see, of all the problems that Paul addressed, he began with the most serious one, which is church split. Right now in the church of Corinth, you have four groups. The first one is 'of Paul'. Who are these people? Remember, it was Paul who evangelized the Corinthians first. Paul was there. So in their minds, «We are Paul’s Dgroup; we are the original». And then after Paul left, Apollos came along. Apollos is a very dynamic teacher, very educated, so some people prefer Apollos. «You, Paul? For us, Apollos»! The next group: «I am of Cephas». Now, who is Cephas? Peter. Yes. You know, in their minds, «Paul, you are not original. The original disciple of Jesus is Peter, and we belong to Peter».
Now, you know what’s so surprising is the last group. The last group: «and 'I of Christ.'» You know these people? Perhaps their spiritual pride is so high. «You belong to Paul? Apollos? Peter? We belong to Jesus»! My friend, what’s so sad? Apollos, Peter, and Paul, they’re not fighting amongst themselves. It’s their followers. You see, the problem with humanity is that when you focus on people and you don’t focus on Jesus, you’re going to have problems. You have to understand what the root problem is. The root problem is the nature of humanity. Example, Paul described this in 1 Corinthians 3. You know the root problem? Why do you exalt people? «And I, brethren…»
Notice, referring to believers. «Could not speak to you as to spiritual men…» You are not spiritual! You are what? «…but as to men of the flesh…» from the Latin word 'carne'. You are carnal. You are not controlled by the Spirit. You are controlled by yourself. You are like «infants in Christ. (Babies.) I gave you milk to drink, not solid food; for you were not yet able to receive it. Indeed, even now, you are not yet able, for you are still fleshly». You are like baby Christians. «For there is…» everybody, read «…jealousy and strife among you, are you not fleshly, and and are you not walking like mere men»?
1 Corinthians 3:1-3, ordinary people who do not even belong to Jesus? That’s the root problem of many Christians today. You think you are a Christian, and I believe many of you are Christians, but you have not allowed Jesus to control you. You are controlled by your flesh. The book of Galatians warns us about people controlled by the flesh. The warning is so serious. Let me share with you in Galatians 5:19–21. Everybody, read. «Now the deeds of the flesh are evident, which are: immorality, impurity, sensuality, idolatry, sorcery».
Now, notice, «enmities, strife, jealousy, outbursts of anger, disputes, dissensions, factions, envying…» Notice, all of this has to do with a relationship problem, conflict. They are serious, as serious as immorality. Now, many Christians do not take seriously what the Bible is saying. Notice what it says «…and things like these». Everybody, now read, «of which I forwarn you, just as I have forwarned». I’m warning you, I’m warning you. Everybody, read now, «that those who practice such things will not inherit the kingdom of God». You know what the Bible is saying? If your lifestyle is a lifestyle of immorality, sin, you are not a Christian. Remember, we are saved by grace. Yes or no? We are not saved by good works. You are not saved because you are living a perfect life. We are saved by grace, but the grace that will save you will transform you. You cannot say «I’m a follower of Jesus» but your lifestyle, you practice (these).
«I forewarn you, just as I have forwarned you, that those will practice such things», this is a lifestyle. My friend, there’s a big difference between living in sin and falling into sin. I’m a sinner. I know my weakness, but by the grace of God, slowly but surely, I’m sinning less and less. Once upon a time, I was headed this way, then the Lord touched my heart, and He changed my direction. I began following Jesus. Am I perfect? No. Do I sin? I’m sure I sin from time to time, but my lifestyle is no longer a lifestyle of sin because I’m no longer controlled by my self. You know who’s controlling me? The Holy Spirit. The Christian life is not hard; it is impossible.
So every day I wake up, I say, «Lord Jesus, will You control my life»? Okay? So today, I’m asking you, «Do you know the root problem of strife»? What’s the root problem? Good. Point to who? Don’t point to your neighbor. Self. Our problem is we think the problem is this person or that person. You know, every time I try to solve conflicts, in people’s mind, «If only he will change, if only she will change, I will have no conflict». My friend, that’s the wrong approach. You start with yourself. «What can I do within my control»? And I tell you something. I have learned something, okay? To solve conflict, what do you hear? What do you hear? Coins. Yes? Now, if I have just one coin, what do you hear? Nothing. It takes two to fight. It takes two people to fight. If somebody wants to fight you, but you are controlled by the Spirit, «You want to fight me? You fight but I love you».
Nothing will happen. My friend, be controlled by the Holy Spirit. The root problem. And then in closing, what’s the root solution? Don’t focus on yourself. You focus on Jesus. Look at what Paul was reminding them of. Let’s continue reading. You know, the Bible tells us– I love this verse. By the grace of God, will you please read, if you don’t mind? Okay. 1 Corinthians 1:14–16. Okay, let’s read that together. «I thank God that I baptized none of you except Crispus and Gaius». Crispus is a leader of the synagogue, but he got converted. Gaius is another leader in Corinth, «so that no one would say you were baptized in my name. Now, I did baptize the household of Stephanas; beyond that, I do not know whether I baptized any other».
Continue reading. (v.17-18) «For Christ did not send me to baptize, but to preach the gospel, not in cleverness of speech, so that the cross of Christ would not be made void». You know what Paul is saying? Paul is not saying baptism is not important. In fact, baptism is important, but Paul is saying, «Do not elevate men». And Paul is saying, «I’m so glad I did not baptize many of you». Because people take their pride from the people who baptized them. And that’s why when we go to the Holy Land, and when we baptize people, I tell everybody, «It doesn’t matter who baptized you; the only important thing is that you are baptized under whose name? I baptize you in the name of the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit». I will never baptize people «in my name, you will be baptized». No! That’s heresy. Please don’t ever do that. You know why? You belong to Jesus. CCF belongs to Jesus. We all belong to Jesus. Amen?
So if that’s your mindset, you focus on Jesus. That’s what Paul is saying. Paul is saying, I focus on the gospel. This verse tells you baptism is not the means of salvation. Many people are thinking you need to be baptized in order to go to heaven. No, no. Baptism is the evidence of salvation. If you have Jesus, if you follow Jesus, the evidence is that you obey Him. But it is never baptism that will save you. Now, there are some people who teach «you need to be baptized in order to go to heaven». No, no, no. The Bible is very clear. But notice, (v.18) «For the word of the cross is foolishness to those who are perishing, but to us who are being saved it is the power of God».
You know, the message of the cross is very simple. The message of the cross is Jesus, only Jesus, has the power to save you from yourself. Only Jesus has the power to give you a new heart. And why should you focus on Jesus? Let me share with you something that’s very important. You know, in Hebrews chapter 12:2, the Bible tells us why you’ve got to fix your eyes on Jesus. Everybody, read this. «fixing our eyes on Jesus». Fix. That word 'fix' has the idea of turning away from looking at your back, from looking at your side, just focusing on Jesus. My friends, if you want to grow, just fix your eyes on Jesus. Don’t fix your eyes on people. Can I tell you that the best man, the best woman, the best leader will still disappoint you? So, fix your eyes on who? Jesus. Continue reading, «the author and perfecter of your faith».
That’s our Jesus. Now, what can we learn from Jesus? «…who for the joy set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God». (Hebrews 12:2) You keep your eyes on Jesus. Look at what He did for you. And to me the best parallel of 1 Corinthians, in terms of solving problems, is Philippians 2. What does it mean to fix your eyes on Jesus? Look at Philippians 2:2-4. Everybody, read. «Make my joy complete by being of the same mind, maintaining the same love, united in spirit, intent on one purpose». How do you achieve unity, same mind, same purpose? My friend, he (Paul) now tells you. Everybody, read please. «Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind regard one another as more important than yourselves». (Philippians 2:2-3) This, to me, is the hardest.
«Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit». I am selfish by nature. This verse convicted me. «Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit». That word 'conceit' has something do with pride. You know what makes you get hurt? Your pride. When people don’t recognize you, when people don’t give you enough attention, when you don’t get your way, you get angry, and the solution is you focus on Jesus. Why do I say focus on Jesus? He (Paul) talks about humility and what is secret of humility? Continue reading. «Do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others». In other words, there’s nothing wrong with thinking of your own interest. But not just your own, think of others'. Ah, the secret. «Have this attitude in yourselves which was also in Christ Jesus»
Let’s look at what it means to be like Jesus. Everybody, read together. «who, although He existed in the form (morphe) of God, did not regard equality with God, a thing to be grasped, but emptied Himself, taking the form (morphe) of a bond-servant and being made in the likeness of men. Being found in appearance (schema) as a man, He humbled Himself by becoming obedient to the point of death». (Philippians 2:5-7) Look at the model of Jesus. Here was God who humbled Himself by becoming a man. That already is, to me, unthinkable. How can God, with His glory, give that up just to become a man like you, like me? He not only did that. You know what else He did? He humbled Himself to be willing to die, but not just to die, to die on the cross. For the Romans, the death on the cross is never to be discussed because it is so horrible. The crucifixion is so horrible that it is not even allowed to be inflicted upon any Roman citizen.
It’s so horrible, beyond description. Yet Jesus, God, became a man. Not just a man, but a bond-servant. Not just to die, but to suffer on the cross. If God, if Jesus, was willing to do that, is He asking you too much to humble yourself? If our Savior gave up all of those privileges to suffer and die for you, Is He asking too much for you to be humble and to think of others? You see, my friend, once you understand what Jesus did for us, you will now begin to appreciate why focusing on Jesus will solve a lot of this petty problems.
My friend, as I close, wanted to leave his church. He asked me, «Can I leave my church»? He’s a Malaysian pastor. I told him, «Why do you want to leave your church»? He said he cannot agree with his senior pastor. I met both of them. I met all of them. I said, «Do you know what will happen if you leave? If you leave your church, your church will be split. Some will follow you and some will stay. I think it is wrong. You should not leave». «You know why? Your disagreements are very minor issues». Praise God. This pastor was spiritual. He was focused on Jesus. He chose to stay. You know why? His master is Jesus, not himself. My question to all of you as we close, are you a part of a problem or are you a part of the solution?
If there is conflict, you ask yourself, are you a part of the problem or are you part of the solution? Let us all be part of the solution. Let us not instigate problems. In Christ, we can all be problem solvers. Amen? But can I tell you something? You cannot solve your conflict with other people until you solve your conflict with God. Our biggest conflict is with God Himself. Until you resolve your conflict with God, you cannot resolve your conflict with men. So therefore, I want to ask you another question. How many of you have unresolved conflicts with God? If you have not resolved your conflict with God, if you have not surrendered everything to God, will you raise your hands? I want to pray for you. Higher. Okay. Thank you for your honesty. You have unresolved conflict with God. I want you to resolve that. Raise your hands. That conflict with God, you need to resolve first. So with your hands raised up, I want you to pray this prayer with me. All right?
Lord Jesus, I realize I have conflict with You. I have not surrendered my life to You. I have not recognized Your lordship. So today, I accept You as my Lord and Savior. I surrender my will to Your will. Lord, just like what You have asked us to do, I will humble myself and surrender the lordship of my life to You. Take over my life completely.
Lord Jesus, I now pray for these men and women who would like their conflict resolved also with others. Will You now give us the grace of humility, the grace to love people unconditionally, and above all, the grace to forgive. As You have forgiven us, help us to forgive others. As You have loved us, help us to love others. It’s only when we focus on You, Lord, can we resolve conflict. And I thank You for all that You are doing in and through CCF. I pray that CCF will be a church that is united. Unity in You; Unity in our mission to serve You; Unity in our mission to make disciples, and unity in our love for one another. Help us to accept one another as is where is. In Jesus' name, we pray. Amen and amen.
Lord Jesus, I now pray for these men and women who would like their conflict resolved also with others. Will You now give us the grace of humility, the grace to love people unconditionally, and above all, the grace to forgive. As You have forgiven us, help us to forgive others. As You have loved us, help us to love others. It’s only when we focus on You, Lord, can we resolve conflict. And I thank You for all that You are doing in and through CCF. I pray that CCF will be a church that is united. Unity in You; Unity in our mission to serve You; Unity in our mission to make disciples, and unity in our love for one another. Help us to accept one another as is where is. In Jesus' name, we pray. Amen and amen.