Michael Todd - I Feel God HERE (Spontaneous Worship Flow)
That scripture said, «Um, this will be your sign. Your worship will be the sign. Like you’re going to worship at a place you’ve been to before, Moses. But this time, when I deliver you, I need you to lead people to worship me.» I’m not exactly sure if our worship—individually, I’ll speak for me—has not been attached to an outcome. Can I be transparent? Can I get vulnerable? Can I take off my protection? Can I acknowledge that the place where God has called us to be as a church is one where we need to do like Moses and say, «No, I’m not going to stay right here at this place»? Saying, «Here I am» shows availability, but when I take off my protection, that’s vulnerability.
Some of you have been so protected by your pedigree, so protected by your degrees, so protected by your tenure, so protected by your age—thinking, «Ain’t nobody gonna tell me nothing. I’ve been following God longer"—yet you’re still in the same place. God might have sent this young man in a hot red jacket—it’s too hot to be up here; I just wanted to have some fun—but he sent me up here to perhaps awaken something on the inside of you. Maybe there can be a little more reckless abandon when it comes to the things of God. Maybe you can get a little more vulnerable. You see, a lot of people don’t understand that the thing we’re talking about, of availability to God, we can say, «Here I am, God, whatever you want to do.» But showing people who I really am—I took down my attitude because it once protected me in a different season; it was the only thing I had to keep the people who were supposed to love me from hurting me.
So I’ve built these walls. I’m not going to talk to them; they remind me of places of hurt. I’m not going to ask for help; I’m not going to be vulnerable because I don’t want to get hurt again. And God’s saying, «But here I am, so I need you to take off your protection.» The real thing God wanted Moses to do at that burning bush was to feel again. Some of you haven’t felt anything in a long time; you haven’t been able to feel your emotions, you haven’t been able to feel God. You’ve been going through the motions, doing everything you were supposed to do, but you have not been able to feel. When he put his feet on the ground, that wasn’t just availability or vulnerability; God wanted him to have sensitivity. Feel my presence, feel that I’m here, feel that I’m with you, feel that here is holy, feel the cool of the breeze, feel the rock, feel the thing.
I need you to—everybody say, «feel.» I told our church last week, after all the cameras went off, «Here is holy.» What that practically means is our church has been full of passion, but it has not had enough compassion. We haven’t felt enough. Everybody’s trying to get to the next thing, the next crazy miracle, and the next event, but could it be that God is saying, as you rush to the next thing, you’re not feeling what I want you to feel here? Moses will never forget this meeting with God because he tapped into another sense in his life—not a sense, but like our senses. He saw the burning bush, he smelled the smoke, but he felt God. Help us to feel again! Somebody just place your hand on your heart right now and say, «God, help me to feel again.»
Whoo! You’re so cold, and you cut people off so quickly, thinking it’s a trait that should be admired, as if to say, «I can cut somebody off.» God said that it’s not me. Did I cut you off like that or did I have compassion? Some of our family issues are not unsolvable; there’s just a lack of compassion. Nobody’s feeling, and today God wants us to feel. How do you feel in His presence? That’s where Moses was—in a place of worship—and he took off his protection and felt for the first time in years. Husbands and wives, the reason it’s not clicking is that you don’t feel it. You’re not sensitive to one another, and God’s saying, «I want this week to be a week of sensitivity.»
Right now, if Tony starts hitting the drums wildly, the thing we would tell him is, «What are you doing? You’re not being sensitive.» When a baby is almost asleep and somebody turns on the TV too loud, that’s cause for conflict. «No, no, no! I’ve been working an hour and a half to get this baby right here, and you’re not being sensitive.» I just lost somebody I love, and then you make a joke about death. What we would say to somebody is, «You’re not being sensitive.» Why does God say, «I’ll speak to you in a still small voice?» Why would He say «still small voice»? I want the thunderous God, the big God. You can be loud but not sensitive, and what I want you to hear are the details. Everybody say, «details.»
This week, I hear so strongly: God is saying, «I want this to be the most sensitive week of your life. I want you to create an atmosphere that has a lower volume than your regular weeks. I want the noise turned down this week.» Why? «Oh, it’s such and such’s birthday, and this is what I’m doing!» All that’s noise. God’s been speaking to you the whole time, but you can’t hear Him because He’s whispering. You’re not close. God had to take Moses to a deserted place. He wasn’t in a crowd of people, he wasn’t in Egypt where he was the man; he wasn’t even with his father-in-law. He was in the desert with some sheep that couldn’t talk, and He took him to a deserted place and told him, «Put your feet on the ground and feel me.»
You know when people say, «Do you feel me?» That’s what God’s saying today: «Do you feel me? I’m trying to work on your attitude. Do you feel me? I’m trying to give you a business plan that’ll change your family for generations. Do you feel me?» And right now, so much of the noise is so loud, and we’re so protected. See, the crazy thing about it is, in my shoes and those socks, it was a lot warmer around my feet; there is at least a 15-degree difference, and there was only an inch and a half of sole between where I was and where I am now, but it feels completely different. Do you have too much sole between you and God? Not S-O-L-E but S-O-U-L. Are you too high to feel what God’s trying to do in your life? Is this a time where you need to come low and humble yourself before the mighty hand of God and say, «Here I am»? Somebody just say «Here I am.»
That’s service. I’m not messing with this; this is the year of the cliffhanger. Everything’s not going to be resolved in a moment, and the church has been so used to saying, «Okay, put a bow on it, give me some wrapping, and let my day go on.» This is the year of the cliffhanger. There are going to be moments He calls you in, and He’s just going to say, «Okay, that’s what I was going to do today, and I’ll see you here tomorrow.» The uncomfortableness that some of you feel right now—I came for a word; He is the living word. What are you talking about? You don’t want my words? You don’t want my YouTube? You don’t want my tweets? You want rhema; you want Him to give you a word for yourself that nobody else has. That’s special. That proves that here is holy.
Do you know nobody else got a word like that in history except Moses from a burning bush? He was the only one ever to get God to speak to him in that way—separate, holy, completely other than opposed to. It didn’t happen when he went home; it happened here. So if you’re watching this and you’re wondering what is going on, we decided a long time ago that we were a church that was going to let God lead. We just decided. There are thousands of people watching and thousands of people that will watch throughout the week, but we decided we would never ever perform. We would just get in His presence, and whatever happens happens. You know how they say, «It is what it is»? Because here is holy.
I’m trying to model for you what it looks like to move on without resolve. You’re going to have to start the business without somebody saying, «I’m sorry.» There won’t be a resolve. A lot of people are waiting to start until there’s a resolve, and God is saying to you in this moment: «Don’t rush me; I’m doing the work.» If you would just be okay—everybody say «here.» You don’t have to see the end of the credits yet; there are alternate endings to this depending on your faith and obedience. See, faith and obedience produced the ending of this movie—it’s still being written. Saul, when he started the movie, was supposed to have a descendant reigning on the throne forever, but Saul, through his disobedience and his lack of faith in God, rewrote a different ending to the story that God had already penned. He didn’t acknowledge that here was holy.
Y’all remember the story when he was supposed to offer a sacrifice but he was waiting on Samuel, and Samuel was taking too long? Does it ever feel like what God’s doing is taking too long? Y’all going to just leave me out here by myself? It’s taking too long for you to give me a husband. It’s taking too long for me to have my money. It’s taking too long! He felt like it was taking too long, and because he didn’t acknowledge that here was holy, he started looking at his enemies, and they began to distract him from the promise that God had given through Samuel. He started getting, the Bible says, hard-pressed. Has anybody ever been hard-pressed? Can we just have a therapy session right now? Has anybody ever been hard-pressed? Okay, let’s be real. Let’s be hot, humble, open, and transparent. How many people have a hard-pressed area right now?
Come on! Has anybody ever? No? Today, what do you do when you get hard-pressed? Two weeks ago when the spit hit the fan, that’s when I found out what it was like to get hard-pressed. When people were calling me out of my name, talking about my children, saying what my wife could do when the spit hit the fan—when I saw the underbelly of the culture I’m called to love—God said, «How do you respond when you’re hard-pressed?» Saul, in his anxiousness to do the right thing, was trying to offer sacrifices to the Lord, but he did it at the wrong time. Some of you, what you are feeling is right. It’s the right conviction; it’s the right thing. But God’s trying to build your character right here, so He’s saying, «Don’t move yet. Don’t move; stay right here. Stay at the job; stay with those people; stay at the church. Just stop; it’s the right conviction.»
I’m going to talk about it more next week, but Moses killing the Egyptian who was hindering and damaging a Hebrew—it was the right conviction but a lack of character. God’s not trying to take you off of what He put on you; He’s just saying, «Wait on me. Wait on the Lord.» This is prophetic for you: «He will renew your strength.» He’s about to renew your strength. It’s the right thing; just the wrong moment. Stay here, but God’s going to do it! He’s going to restore; He’s going to revive. The next move, the next thing, is not there; it’s here. Just one more time, «Wait on the Lord.» What would Saul’s life have looked like had he waited right here? We would love David; we wouldn’t know about David. Everybody loved David; he was the backup. Many people don’t read this, but when Israel wanted a king, God chose Saul. But he wouldn’t stay here long enough for God to give him victory.
He spent the rest of his life chasing favor, even though he messed up. He still gave him David to win victories for him, and he started listening to the people over there and over there and over there and over there—he started listening when they said, «David slayed ten thousand; Saul one thousand.» It messed with his identity because it wasn’t anchored in God. If it were me, I would have been singing a song too! Did you hear the song they were singing about you, boy? You were still the king! All the victories came back and went on under his tutelage, but in a moment that was supposed to be here, he didn’t wait on God. «I’m not going to press past any moment that I know God is doing something, even if I don’t understand it.»
So Saul’s raw emotion: «Where in the bleep is God right now through Samuel? Where is He? Did He oversleep? So I might go find Him. I’m pressed! This is uncomfortable! I can’t stand this!» He could have said all that and still waited. Vent, but wait. Be upset, but wait. Do a circle; shout, jump up and down, do jumping jacks—but wait! Y’all know that’s what He told the disciples when Jesus said, «I told you all several times I’m leaving, but I want you to go wait until you’re endowed with the power of the Holy Spirit. I’ve given you the instruction to go, but don’t go until you get what I want you to get here: the Great Commission—go into all the world and make disciples.»
That’s important, but before you do that, wait here until you get what you need to go out there and actually be effective. Jesus, I know demons are staring you in the face in the industry God has called you to conquer, and the reason you don’t have power there is that you didn’t receive what you were supposed to get here. So we’re telling ourselves right now, wait on the Lord. He said He will renew. It’s frustrating here; it hurts here. I wish more people knew what was really going on here, but He sent you here to tell you to wait. It’s all going to make sense very soon. Here is holy; He’s doing something in your character so you don’t kill anything prematurely that God called to live. It’s the right conviction—just the wrong moment. Here is hope; you’re getting stronger as you wait. Just say, 'Wait.' What happens when they wait? What happens?
Something’s happening. Yeah, I dare you to say, 'I feel the presence of God.' Faith is rising in this place; somebody says He’s going to change it all from right here. Get victory on your lips and just say, 'Stay that way, baby! ' Oh, come on, somebody! Stay right here! What God is going to do here is renew our strength to stay here. We’re going to be faithful here. Somebody say, 'I’m going to be faithful here! ' See, this is our confession: say, 'I am here, and because God is here.' Here is holy; this is our confession all year. Well, I messed up. What do I say? 'I am here, and because God is here.' What do we say? 'Here is hope.' Well, they just left me, and I’m hurting, and I never saw my life without them. But let’s be ones that say, 'You know what? I’m going to take off my protection; I’m going to get vulnerable. I’m going to feel this thing.'
Charles, I want to preach it, but I’ll wait until next week. But I need to let everybody—especially men—know that sensitivity is strength. I’m going to preach this next week, how I feel this. Y’all, next week is our seventh-year anniversary as pastors and twenty-three years of Greenwood Christian Center being Transformation Church, and God wanted the word I share next week to marinate for an entire week. Y’all know when food is really good; some of you have been eating that fast food, microwavable stuff. But when food is really good, it’s when it’s been sitting in those juices for a while. We’re going to normalize sensitivity. We’re going to normalize being able to feel.
Demario, we’re going to start a new revolution of men of God that stand next to women of God. It won’t be that the women carry the church because they can feel; that’s the reason they’ve been able to carry it. Because men have been taught, 'You’re not supposed to feel that! Shut up! Don’t feel that! Stop crying; that doesn’t mean anything! ' And God said, 'But I had compassion.' That’s why we have to transform our minds. We’re going to raise sons that know how to feel. We’re going to raise daughters that know how to feel. We’re going to raise disciples that know how to fear, because it’s only in the feeling that I know how to respond, not react.
Most of our Christian lives have been spent reacting, but when I can feel somebody’s heart, when I know what you’ve been through—if you knew me when I spit on Brentham’s face, that’s the third time I’ve done that. That wasn’t the first or second; I did it at somebody else’s church. But the people who reacted didn’t know me. The people who knew me responded. My wife said, 'That was Michael; that was the most disgusting thing you’ve ever done on the platform! I couldn’t even watch it! ' But I love you, and I knew your heart behind it. And next time, just act like you spit and then just… She didn’t react; she responded.
And so many of us, because we haven’t gotten vulnerable enough to feel, won’t sit with anybody long enough to hear their story. We’re still married to the version of our husband and wife we had ten years ago, and we haven’t been sensitive to the changes. You’re not married to who you may read—that’s a whole word! You’re not married to who you’re married. Just like your kids at five are different than they are at fifteen. But the problem is, 'Well, I told you at three that you were going to be great; why don’t you have confidence now? ' You weren’t too sensitive in sixth grade when that teacher stole from you. You weren’t sensitive enough to see that every time they went to camp, they came back just a little different. 'How was camp? ' 'Okay, it was great, ' and you’re not seeing it because you don’t feel.
Many of us are who we are today not because we wanted to be, but because our protection wasn’t sensitive; they couldn’t tell. We got touched; nobody saw how I started acting negatively when it came to anything about church. Nobody saw how I started having an affinity for men or had an affinity for women. Nobody saw; they never even brought it up. They knew I stole, but they just beat me and never asked me. They weren’t sensitive, so now I’m out here trying to fend for myself and protect myself and trying to follow God open-handed, but I want to fight too because nobody’s ever been sensitive enough to me. So it keeps me from being sensitive to others, and the one time I let them in, I saw their humanity, and that’s never happening again.
Some of you are living with such strongholds of inner vows; I’m prophesying to somebody right now. It’s a stronghold of inner vows that you said, 'I’ll never feel like this again. I’ll never open up like that again. They’re going to have to prove themselves to me over and over, ' and nobody—including God—is going to jump that wall you’ve put up. You’re going to have to let Him in. God’s not just coming after our availability or our vulnerability; He wants our sensitivity. Father, help us to feel! Oh, come on, that’s a prayer you probably have never prayed; God, help me to feel again! When I was a child, I felt. Some of us have been robbed! God, help me not to just feel again; I’m not going to assume. Help me to feel for the first time! God, I thank You that as we’re sensitive in Your presence, You’ll speak a word that confirms our calling.
Moses! Moses! Michael! Michael! Blake! Blake! Mima! Tommy! Tommy! He’s calling your name to let you know you’re called! And He said, 'Can we pause this entire year and declare that here is holy? Brooklyn! Brooklyn! Prashiya! Prashiya! Gary! Gary! Malia! Malia! Travis! ' He’s calling you by name in a desert place so you can know this isn’t no fluke. This isn’t a family prophecy; this is not a group prophecy. Everybody on this side is burning the bush and getting your attention in this place so you can know I’m talking directly to you! Jerry! Jerry! Roberta! Roberta! Tammy! Tammy! Will! Will! He’s saying, 'Butch! Butch! Samara! Samara! Demario! Demaria! ' He said, 'He’s saying Matthew! Matthew! Patricia! Patricia! '
Just in case you missed it, it was me the first time I’m calling you by name twice so that you can see here is holy! Help us to feel again, God! If you’re in this place and you’re feeling a stirring like you’ve never felt before, let me help you. If you’ve been far from God, what God is doing right now is inviting you by His Holy Spirit into a relationship with Him. This is a feeling that you can’t get from making money, a feeling that you don’t get from getting high or drinking or sleeping with somebody. This is a feeling like water after a ten-mile run. You can drink stuff when you’re running, but drinking Sprite when you’re running up mountains is a counterfeit for what you need, which is water.
There was a young woman at a well trying to get a drink; Jesus was there. She didn’t know this was the encounter that was going to change her life. Like many of you don’t know this is all a setup for your life to be changed. But what happened is He said, 'If you drink of the water I’m talking about, you’ll never thirst again.' This woman said, 'Where’s that water? ' He said, 'Right here.' Where did He say it was? Here! He didn’t say over there—don’t go back into town! Don’t clean up! He asked her very vulnerable questions about her sleeping quarters, her sleeping partners, what she was doing, and He said, 'I’ll do this miracle right here.' I believe that’s what God wants to do for you, no matter what you’ve done or how far you’ve gone, what you’ve said and who you’ve said it to and what inner vows.
God’s saying, 'Would you just get vulnerable? Because I sent My Son over two thousand years ago to a cross to shed His blood and break His body so that you could be right here in this moment. I don’t care how you got here; I don’t care if you’re in a barbershop or a beauty salon or if somebody’s watching it really loud. The reason they turned it up is that they want you to hear it. They care about you; they’re filled with compassion. They know what happened to them when they got this revelation of Jesus Christ, and His peace and joy began to fill them from the inside. It doesn’t make you a perfect person, but it makes you a progressing person. It’s something that changes you! It changed me! It took me from being a liar, a manipulator, somebody who was addicted to pornography, somebody who had a lot of bad things in my heart, and God said, «Yeah, with all of that, if you surrender it to Me and say, 'Here I am, '» somebody say, 'Here I am.' He said, «I’ll take all of that; I’ll use it for My glory!»
I’m telling you today that today is the day of salvation, right here! Not tomorrow; not next week! It’s not promised to any of us; it’s not a guarantee. But guess what? It’s the gift we have at this moment; here! That’s why they call it a present. The present is here, and today I want to offer you to start a loving relationship with the God who—let me tell you a secret—has been chasing you! His love found you at every club. His love found you in your pride. His love has been chasing you through all your successes, achievements, your validations from people. He’s been right there saying, 'If you’re tired of all of that, here I am.' Today I want to give you the opportunity to accept Jesus Christ as your personal Lord and Savior.
Here, according to Romans 10:9, all you have to do is believe in your heart and confess with your mouth. We’re going to repent or turn from the way we’ve been doing it, and we’re going to turn to God right here! Did you see what I did? I didn’t have to take a step to turn; I can turn right here. I can be in the same place, and everything… I’m seeing a whole different group of people on this side than I would on this side, but for me to see them over there, I have to… Everybody say, 'Turn! ' Look at all those beautiful faces and stories and moments, and memories that are now available to me because I repented right here! Today this is your sanctuary! Wherever you are, on the couch, in the car, on the porch, somebody say, 'This is my sanctuary! ' God is tearing down the need for brick and mortar; He is resurrecting sanctuaries wherever we are! Somebody say, 'This is my sanctuary! '
We’ve made this amazing, and God, I don’t need any of this! I’ll put on a light show in the desert! Y’all know that’s what the burning bush was, right? He put on a light show that was so spectacular that that means I’ve got to go see what that is! He doesn’t need any of this; He’ll do it right there at your office complex. Watching on rebroadcast, He’ll do it right here! He’s saying it’s just so I can have a relationship with you; God talking to Moses is how Jesus wants to talk to you. It’s about nothing other than relationship, and how you come into that relationship is through Jesus Christ.
The Bible says He’s the way, the truth, and the life; no one can even get to God except through Him. Let’s do it! This is the day, right? And I’m telling you this is the best decision you could ever make! On the count of three, I want you to take a crazy faith step, and I don’t actually care who’s around you because they will not stand with you when you stand before God. Every person will stand before God and have to give an account of their life, and the one thing that protects us there, that positions us there, that gives us a place there, is what we do right!
So today, I want you—let me be honest—I want you to choose Jesus because it transformed my life, and I know it will transform yours. On the count of three, if you want to accept Jesus Christ as your personal Savior, I want you to raise your hand. One, you’re making the greatest decision of your life! Two, I’m proud of you! But that doesn’t even matter; God is writing your name in the Lamb’s book of life. Three, just shoot your hand up all over the world, all over this building, all over this room!
Oh, I need you to know heaven is rejoicing right now! Oh, it’s turning up way better than these people are turning up! They stopped singing, «Holy, holy, holy,» because somebody just got separated and made holy! At Transformation Church, we’re a family; nobody prays alone here! So, there are 25,000 people that are about to pray this prayer, some of them are in Texas, some of them are in Japan, some of them are in Israel, and others are in Mississippi: M-I-S-S-I-S-S-I-P-P-I. I learned how to spell that in the fourth grade. I haven’t done that in a long time; it felt really good. It’s what I learned from school. Um, this is your moment, and we’re a family, so everybody together for the benefit of those who are coming to Christ right now. Everybody say:
God, here I am. Today I surrender my life right here. I believe you lived, you died, and you rose again with all power to change my life. Today I’m ready. Do the work in me right here. Change me here, renew me here, transform me here. I’m yours. In Jesus' name, amen.