Michael Todd - Fathers Unaware (Do You Have An Active Father?)
Welcome to week eight of a series we’re calling «Help Me, FU!» You are now enrolled in Forgiveness University, and it’s my birthday, so I’m going to share how I feel today. If you are looking for a nice, quiet little word right now, that isn’t happening today. I have a mandate from God to talk about forgiveness, and I want to be even more specific than that. I need everybody in the room; I need your help today. I need y’all to be praying because the enemy does not want me to deliver this message, as the truth in it will actually bring freedom to people’s lives. But today, come hell or high water, I’m going to get this whole word out of me. Are y’all with me today? I said, are y’all with me today?
Okay, so the thing that I need you to know is that I have a mandate from God to discuss one of the issues plaguing people in the area of forgiveness, and I want to talk about forgiving fathers today. I know some of you just tightened up right then; I know some of you came in here very guarded, closed off, and quite offended. I understand all of that, and that’s why we have to talk about this. That’s why we need to go there with this message today, and I want to approach it from a different perspective. I’m not here to bash men or to criticize bad fathers. As some of you may have heard Pastor Michael say, I’m straight today.
Okay, hold on, hold on, hold on. We’re talking about forgiveness—that’s releasing someone, letting someone go. I know for many of us, the men in our lives, the fathers in our lives, the grandfathers in our lives, and the father-like figures in our lives have disappointed us, let us down, done well up to a certain point, but not really been there. Some of them provided for us, but they weren’t present for us. All of these different things have made us products of other people’s decisions.
Now we walk around with insecurities and confidence issues based on someone else’s actions. Now we try to raise children, despite never having been properly parented. Ooh, do y’all see how quiet it is in the building today? As we prepare for the holiday season, and everybody’s getting ready to fake it, don’t act like you don’t talk yourself up in the car before you go in! Oh, come on, y’all know how it is—just keep it together! Don’t bring up that! Don’t bring up that! Tell her she looks good in that! Tell him he’s been great, and just act like it while buying this expensive gift that you really can’t afford but feel that’s the only way to show them that you love them.
And so walking here, y’all don’t act like that’s not real because we don’t deal with the real issues that are happening. Many of the forgiveness issues that we’re dealing with stem back to the relationships with our fathers or the lack of relationship with our fathers. Today, I’m going to approach this topic; I’m telling you I’m going to approach this topic very delicately but very directly because some of your lives have been jammed up by what you did not choose, but what has happened to you. There are fathers watching right now who may feel condemned or guilty for not being able to be there. I’m going to talk to everybody today, and you’re trying to figure out how you can do better with the time that you have left, but you’ve been put into this box.
I’m talking to everyone because God wants there to be forgiveness with fathers, but I think there is a lack of understanding of this concept of fathering, and that’s what the enemy tries to use to confuse people. But today, by the power of the Holy Spirit, I feel God is helping me right now. I believe that by the power of the Holy Spirit, you are going to have faith to forgive. Somebody just say, «faith to forgive.» Help me one more time, say, «faith to forgive.» And that even includes your father. I want you to think about your father right now. Not everyone has a bad father; I’m not saying that, but many people in our society today are struggling because the image of the father has been distorted. What I need everyone to know is that we get these words in our society mixed up because many fathers don’t understand the impact, the influence, and the injury they can cause to people without even being aware of it.
I’m going to say it again: Many males who have the opportunity to be a father do not understand the impact, the influence, and the injury they can cause to humanity without even being aware of it. Write my first point down: Father forgiveness is necessary for true freedom. Because I know some people are sitting there right now saying, «I’m fine, Pastor Mike. I hate my daddy. I can’t stand my daddy. I look like my daddy, but I can’t. If he walked in this room right now, I wouldn’t even care. I ain’t got nothing to do with him. He can fall off the face of the earth for all I care! He wasn’t there for me; I ain’t going to be there for him.»
And we go through all of these different things. We set up all these guards and mechanisms. But what I found out is that for us to be fully free, if you have an ought against anybody, especially someone who was supposed to be there in a significant way in your life but was not, or they violated you, mistreated you, or were just lazy, or present physically but not emotionally—if you’re going to experience true freedom, you’re going to have to forgive your father. I know no pastor has ever said this to you, but you will only be able to be used up to a limit until you let them go. You can only be used up to this point, but God says, «I can’t trust you to talk to them about that because you haven’t even dealt with it. I can’t send the people I want you to mentor to you because all of them have daddy issues.»
And so do you. And you won’t validate that it’s real, and you will act like you’re discussing all of this, saying all of that, but you won’t deal with it. I’m coming to pull back the cover on every lie of the enemy, that you can be used to your fullest potential but still have unforgiveness in your heart for your father. Well, Pastor Mike, you don’t understand my situation. I do not understand it, but I do know that God and His grace can provide a way for you to release that person, no matter how badly they violated you, no matter how they didn’t show up for you, no matter what they were doing; you can release them from the debt. I know it’s going to take a minute for us to walk through this journey, so I just want you to keep breathing. Keep breathing, okay? And just stay with me. Everybody, take a deep breath in right now and let it out. Everybody say, «Relax.»
I can feel the tension in the room. You know why I can feel it? Because it’s real. I can feel it. Some of your fathers may be in a grave right now, but they’re still sitting with you in this room; I already know it. There are certain people that you can’t stand to be around because the tone of their voice, their directness, their passivity, or the way they correct reminds you of somebody you don’t even talk to anymore. Why is this so deep in us? Why is it so intrinsic to our being? No matter how much money you make, are you still trying to prove that you’re enough to your daddy? Too many people are walking through life trying to prove to God that they’re enough because they never were able to prove to their daddy that they were enough. Yeah, yeah. Let me help you. All your performance, «I did this, and I did this, and I did this.»
You learn that at four. You learn that through sports. You learn that through grades. And God is saying that I need to heal you so you can truly experience Me. I’m going to say this again: If you do not allow God to heal you, you will not be able to truly experience all that He has for you. You’ve got to let your father go. Well, Pastor Mike, is that all you wanted to say to us today? You called us onto this live stream to tell us to forgive our fathers. I know I need to forgive them; I just don’t know how, and I won’t.
Well, maybe I can help you with an understanding, okay? In our society, we get these three words mixed up, and we use them interchangeably, but they don’t mean the same thing. We mix up the words male, man, and father. Those are all three different things, and I’m going to put on my scientific jacket today. It’s going to be black today, and I’m going to let you understand something. Watch this: I’m going to teach you about the makeup of a man, or what I’ll call the makeup of a male, and I hope you can understand this, okay? Being a male is God’s choice, okay? Nobody chose to be a male; God chose for you to be a male, okay?
And I want you to understand this. Look at Genesis chapter 1, verse 27. So God created man in His own image; in the image of God, He created him. What did He create? Male and female, He created them. God chose that. So this had nothing to do with you. But male is God’s choice, and I need you to understand this. Put up my anatomy. I want to go to school for real, okay? Male—being a male—I need you to understand; it’s simply physical. If you have the right parts, you’re a male. You didn’t have to study for it; you didn’t have to choose anything. If you have the right parts, you are a male. Okay? I need everybody to hear me say that. But the key to knowing this is that every male is not a man.
I need to help you. Male is simply physical, but when you move to being a man—oh, man is your choice. Male is God’s choice; man is your choice. I’m talking to every person so you can understand that God does not choose for you to be a man. You get to choose. The greatest thing that God gave you in the garden was choice. Everybody say choice! And you get to choose. You didn’t choose being a male; that was God’s choice. But you get to choose if you’re going to step up and be a man. Look at 1 Corinthians 16:13 and what the Bible says about men: It says men should be watchful. Men should stand firm in faith. Ladies, this is why you need to have a man who stands firm in faith before you. If you have to lead him to everything, then he may not be the man. He may be a male who looks good. He may be a male who treats you right, but he’s not a man who can lead you.
Let me stop. Okay, it says be watchful, stand firm in faith, act like men. I’m talking to you right now. It says be strong. See, that’s the one thing that we’re taught as young boys: be strong; don’t cry; don’t show weakness; you better not let him beat you. And when I look at the Bible, the strongest thing a man can do is be faithful, forgive, be meek, love—be power under control. It literally says in 1 Corinthians 16:14, «Let all that you do be done in love.» Is that the characteristic that culture paints of men? Culture paints «don’t care,» «sleep with everybody,» «won’t hurt whoever’s coming,» «make babies,» «just provide money for them so they can be dressed well and their stuff can be taken care of.» You, too, man? No, baby! You’re only a man when you do everything you do in love.
And some of you are saying, «What is love, Pastor Mike?» 1 Corinthians 13:4: Look what men do when they love: love is patient; love is kind; it does not envy; it does not boast; it is not proud; it does not dishonor others; it is not self-seeking; love for men is not easily angered; it keeps no record of wrong. That means men forgive. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects; it always trusts; it always hopes; it always perseveres. Love never fails. If that’s what a man is supposed to be, how backwards has culture planted these images in our minds? I dare say that there are few men in the world and the majority are males. Males—that was God’s choice. Man is your choice.
And let me say this: being a male is simply physical. Put my chart back up there because I need somebody to see. Some of y’all are visual learners. But being a man is simply mental—it’s a choice. Like you became a male because you have the parts, but you’re going to become a man because you make the choice. The reason why this is so foreign to you is that you thought because you had the parts you were a man. No baby, you can be a 68-year-old boy. They don’t want to hear this. See, when you get male, I’m trying to help you understand. We’re going to get to fathers, but I need you to understand this: when you get male, you make a choice to be a man or boy—boy is your default. You’re born a male; you have to choose to be a man. If you never choose to be a man, a kingdom man, a godly man, your default will be boy.
And what do boys do? They don’t take responsibility. What do boys do? They blame others. What do boys do? They fight over petty things. What do boys do? They tell everybody how tough they are when they’re really insecure. What do boys do? Okay, y’all don’t know. Okay, let’s go to the Word. Let’s see—Pastor Mike’s not making this up. 1 Corinthians 13:11: When I was a child, when I was a boy, I talked like a child. I thought like a child; that’s why I couldn’t make a decision to become a man. I reasoned like a child. But when I became a what? A man! Oh, when I made the decision—there’s got to be a decision! When I became a man—oh, there’s the decision! I put the ways of childhood behind me.
So if I’m born a male, which is simply physical, the goal is that I actually need to be a man, which is a decision that I have to make. But if I never make that decision, or feel safe enough to make that decision, or had someone to lead me in making that decision, or ever saw an example, my default is boy. Many of us were raised by grown boys. I am sorry to be the one to say this. It doesn’t matter how much gray hair they have or how many accounts they have; if they never made the decision to become a man—a man of God—the default all of us fall to is boy. And now most of us were raised by men who didn’t want to take responsibility.
Men who felt like being there was just too much—getting emotional, having the talks, leading them. I don’t want that type of pressure on me. What if I mess up? And all that other stuff, they didn’t want it. And so what happened is they produced children, but they still had the mentality, the heart posture, and the thinking of a boy. And the reason I needed to break this down so clearly is because a male was God’s choice, a man is your choice, a boy is your default. But then there’s a greater level that you can walk in, and that role is father. Father, this is the thing you got to get: it’s your image duplicated.
So what happens when a male, because of the physical anatomy that they have, never decides to become a man and stays a boy but now decides to have children and becomes a father? They duplicate their image. And why do we have so many problems in society today? It’s because we have people duplicating images of people who are not fully matured. I’m preaching right now. You may not get up and jump and shout, but it’s affecting your life. Can I prove it to you? Genesis 1:26. Go back to our Father God, the originator, the creator. Look at the words. He says if fathers are supposed to make images on the earth. Look what God says: it says, «Then God said, let us make what? Man in our image. I want this thing to be just like me. I want to give fathers—because I’m Father God—the capability to be able to transfer the character, the likeness, the ideas, the thoughts, the love, the joy, and the integrity. I want a copy of me in them. I’m the originator, and I want to make an image.»
And it says I want to make that image according to my likeness. And, um, I started to think about this because it really hit me. So many of us don’t understand what it is to be an image of our earthly father. And so I want to make it really practical. Can y’all put up the picture of my son real quick? This is my baby boy right here, MJ. Now, if you look very closely in these pictures, that little boy—you ever heard somebody say that person stole your face? Or that person is your spitting image? That little boy is a light-skinned version of myself—way better hair, a great smile. But that little boy—I can’t deny him because he’s my image. Now people say that, but the least thing that I’m going to give to MJ is my physical appearance.
The image of my integrity is more copied in him or impacted in his life than my facial features. I’m about to preach this right now. We look at the exterior, but the reason I became a father was to put my image into my son—not just physically, but everything that is about me is supposed to be copied into him. So that means my physical appearance is the least of the attributes that are impacting his life. But my character image affects him more. My love image—how I treat his mama and his sisters—affects him more. My stewardship image—how I spend finances, honor God, spend money on stuff that I’m not supposed to—is the image that affects him more. My integrity image, my spiritual image will affect him eternally. Amen!
Yeah, yeah, yeah! I’m trying to let somebody know that, through the counseling that I’ve given to people and the counseling that I’ve gone through myself—y’all know I’m always real with you—me and Pastor Natalie have been in counseling for three whole weeks out of the last four weeks. Like, for the last four weeks, three of them, me and her were in counseling every single day for three hours. Okay?
Through that journey, what I found out is this: write this down — the greatest attack of the enemy on humanity is unaware fathers. Unaware fathers are the enemy’s trump card. It is the card he can throw at any moment to try to disrupt someone’s destiny, and it has been the same attack all the way back to Adam and Eve. Do you not remember that Adam and Eve’s sons, Cain and Abel, one of them died because they were not able to get adequate affirmation from their father? They were trying to one-up each other. Let me— I can’t even go back that far, because fathers are unaware of their impact on everybody they come into contact with. That’s the title of my message today.
I want to call this series or this message «F.U. — Fathers Unaware.» Because I don’t think that if males knew the lasting impact they would have on generation after generation after generation, they wouldn’t willingly do the things that they do. If they were actually mature and not still boys in a situation, trying to cope with the things they didn’t get from their fathers and from their upbringing, I’m coming to side with you. All my fathers who have made decisions and walked out on kids and created families in other cities and done all of these other things—I’m not mad at you. I’m just coming to say I understand. I understand that you’re now dealing with the cosmic failure of many different decisions, and now they’re coming to sit on your lap. But you were just a father unaware. You didn’t know; you were never shown. You didn’t have the playbook. You didn’t have a relationship with God that could really teach you every step of the way.
And so now we’re dealing with a world and a society that is broken—not because people are broken; it’s because fathers are out of place. And the situations that people are dealing with today are because fathers are unaware. By the presence and the Spirit of God today, I’m just praying that a father would become aware. If one father, if one future father would potentially become aware of how important it is to actually get yourself together, to actually forgive people, and to actually be able to be vulnerable, open, and transparent, you could change the generations that come behind you for decades if you would become aware. But the sad truth is there are too many fathers unaware. Fathers unaware of how their affirmation builds security in their children. Fathers unaware that their presence—them actually being there—is more valuable than their gifts. Fathers that are unaware that their active faith—people seeing you trust God, seeing you pray out loud, seeing you lift your hands in church, seeing you lift your hands in your car—is God building a foundation in another generation and affecting people’s futures forever.
Fathers being unaware that their broken promises create broken people. I can’t believe you were aware that that was going to cause all of this. I can’t believe that you were aware that you walking out because the mom and dad couldn’t get along would cause your child to be in an identity crisis for three decades. You might have made a different decision. You might have put the bottle down. You might have not shot up. You might have left that other woman’s bed if you were aware that that same thing would pass down for four generations of the sons that you would have. You had to be a father unaware. You were unaware that the perceived perfection that you show to your family is creating perverted perceptions of what reality is. «Men don’t cry. Toughen up. Be a man. You’re here to hold on.» That perceived perfection, because your son doesn’t know that to relieve yourself, you go to that website every Thursday. And so now they think they have to be like Dad, but Dad wasn’t even being himself. (snaps) And so that perceived perception now creates twisted thoughts on how I handle life and how I do things.
And this is the thing that I found: Let me just show you. Me and Natalie, while we were in counseling, were sitting there, and this woman was just reading our life’s filth. I’m sitting there, and she was like, «I need you to understand how important it is to have a father in your life.» So I want you to bring out these blocks of a successful life, okay? And this is something that we’ve learned. They said to have a successful life, that every child needs to be seen. So some of y’all are out right there, because in your family nobody sees you. And they said then you need to be soothed, you need to be safe, and then there’s one more that happens in this thing—that you need to be secure. Now these are the foundations. Yeah, they’re right there; that’s good. These are the foundations of every successful child: that you need to be seen and soothed, safe, and secure. Most psychologists believe—I’ve told y’all we’re in college right now—most psychologists believe that in a family dynamic, the nurturer, the mother, provides being seen and soothed and that the father provides safety and security.
Now we already know this is jacked up because many of our mothers, due to the absence of a father, could not see you or soothe you. They felt like they had to be the man. They said, «You’re a man; you don’t do that.» «Hey, hey, I need you. I know you’re eight, but you need to help me provide.» «No, we work in this house. We grind in this house.» «No, no, no, no, no! We don’t have time to be crying babies. If we had time to cry, Mama would be crying too.» «But do you see any tears coming down my face? We don’t have time for that right now. We’ve got to survive.»
Consequently, most of us are missing being seen and soothed, and if your father wasn’t there or if he was present but had his own issues, there was a lack of safety and security. Many people think safety and security are the same thing. Safety means that I’m going to be alright. Security means that I can fall apart. If I’m safe, I’m like, «Okay, I’m safe, I’m safe. Like, I’m okay enough to keep moving. I can keep moving.» But when you’re secure, when you know no one’s going anywhere, when you know that people are in it for you, not for what you do but for who you are, that gives you the license to have a weak moment and know you’re going to be picked up, to admit when you’re wrong. Many people can’t admit their fault, you know, those people who are always right and can’t face the blaring truth when it’s right in front of them. It’s probably because, as children, they weren’t secure. Because if I’m wrong, then who am I? I don’t have time for that.
What ends up happening is that when you have this foundation, psychologists say you’re able to assert yourself. So when you have all of these building blocks, you’re able to be assertive; you’re able to say, «No, I don’t want vanilla ice cream. I want strawberry ice cream.» Do you know how many kids, when you ask them, «Hey, do you want ice cream?» and you say, «What flavor?» they respond with, «Whatever you want to give me»? Why? Because many times, we are taught—intentionally or unintentionally—by our family dynamics never to say what we really want. «Don’t be assertive. Don’t do too much. Don’t say too much. Don’t actually say, 'I don’t want to go'.» Why? Because you’re not seen in your family. You’re just one of the numbers. You’re not soothed, especially if it’s not something that warrants it: «Ain’t nobody got time for that crying. I’ll give you something to cry about.»
Hold on! I just wanted to express my emotions, but, oh, you’re teaching me not to express my emotion because I’m not seen and I’m not soothed. Therefore, I’ll go through my whole life being immature, and when I really need to assert myself and say, «I really don’t want to have sex before marriage,» I hesitate to say it. Why? Because the illusion of being seen, soothed, safe, and secure could be taken away if I assert myself. When I assert myself and I have this foundation, then assertiveness turns into competence, and I’m able to make decisions based on what I know, my experiences, what I’ve read, and what I believe. That has to have a foundation of security, safety, soothing, and being seen.
What happens after that? When I assert myself and I’m competent, then I can explore purpose. Do you know the number one question people ask me as a pastor? «What’s my purpose? Why am I here? What did God intend for me?» It’s not even something hard to discover if you have a foundation. But when that foundation is robbed from you, something falls apart. Let me show you: this is how relationships are built when founded on these principles. You find out who you are. It’s me—who am I? When you have this foundation, it’s like, «Oh yeah, it’s me,» and then it’s you—whoever your relationship goal is. This is how you’re supposed to meet someone, knowing who you are and experiencing who they are. However, because many people don’t have this foundation, due to unaware fathers and overcompensating mothers, we never meet eye to eye.
You know, when the Bible talks about being equally yoked, the way you’re equally yoked is that your foundation has been built and repaired to a place where you can actually see each other eye to eye. But the problem is that one is down here while the other is up here, and you’re trying to make it work. Without the right foundation, without the right building blocks, without being in an equally yoked relationship, you never experience the glory of unity. Unity is supposed to be what people see when it’s «we.» What do people see when it’s «we»? What do people get when we both show up? I talk about relationship goals all the time, and I discuss these matters, but really what happens is who we are boils down to many times our fathers being unaware.
Let me prove it to you: if you take safety out of the picture, you were in a family where you never felt safe, but you managed to make it. While doing so, you didn’t feel secure. What’s left is you trying to build a life off being soothed, seen, and assertive. This is where we get independent women saying, «I’m a boss; I do everything for myself. I don’t need anybody else.» Why? Because they never had anyone to secure them and nobody to actually keep them safe. So they’re assertive, they’re going to be a boss, because they’ll soothe themselves, and they feel seen and accomplished through their own efforts. However, look at what fell to the ground: and now, when they try to find a partner and he tries to reach out, you can’t even let him into your life. He feels so, um… is it «emasculated»? He doesn’t feel like a man because you’re the provider.
Look at what fell to the ground: competence, the big one, purpose. Look what fell. Because the man was out of place, because the man was unaware, safety fell apart. We all fail because the man was unaware. I say, «Mike, why are you telling us all this?» Because no matter where you are right now, I need you to write this point down: «What’s not transformed is transferred.» I’m walking slowly through this today because I need you to absorb everything. If you don’t transform the picture of the family, what happens is we try to build it out of place. I try to let my competence and thinking serve as the basis of my life, and then I try to build you on that foundation. That’s why I end up in an abusive relationship for so many years; I’ve constructed myself off of you. Thus, I don’t know who I am. I don’t want to be seen; I don’t have to be seen. Instead, I just want my performance to lead me to something.
So I’ll create a purpose and let that become my foundation. «Oh, I got it, I got it! If I can make myself seen through purpose, then they—yeah, purpose—will get me seen more than actually who I am.» So I’ll base my entire life on performance so people can see me, but then realize that they still don’t truly see me. I need someone to be with me because I don’t feel secure. That’s why I might «Netflix and chill» with people; I crave that sense of «we» and «us» as that should make me feel secure. In reality, I truly don’t know who I am. But if I build who I am based on «we» and «us» without any commitment, then I can be assertive, and finally, in my life, I will feel safe.
I’m not saying this mirrors your life, but you can take these blocks and build yourself anew. I don’t know what your story is, but when a father is unaware, he leaves his child to erect their life without the proper building blocks. So now I’ve got to make it all up, and now I’m 58 and I’m finally feeling safe from what I didn’t receive when I was young. Don’t let one of those blocks fall; don’t let a crisis hit you. Because when you build your life on «us» and on an unsure foundation, it just takes one thing—2020 happens. «Oh God! Nobody saw the pandemic coming.» And guess what happens next? Now I don’t feel seen anymore. I don’t feel seen anymore, so I stop coming to church. «They’re just doing it online. Nobody knows me. Nobody notices me.» You lost money. «We didn’t like you for your money anyway; you didn’t give us anything.» And because I’m not seen, I need to find a place to get soothed.
«Well, that website soothes me with those pills.» «Well, that relationship no one knows about soothes me.» «Well, more success soothes me.» «Well, having kids with a bunch of women soothes me.» «Well, making children with several men soothes me.» And so we walk in here, and there it is. With a brief disruption in our lives—because we never had fathers who were aware of the security and the pattern they should have given us—now I’m going to use my intelligence, I’m going to use someone else, and hopefully, I’ll be secure. We could do this all day, but this is the result of fathers being unaware. I believe by the power of God that someone’s faith is being raised right now, and you’re saying, «I’m not going to allow this cycle to repeat.»
Because what is not transformed is transferred. You are an image of your father. I know you might hate to hear that, but the insecurities you carry, whether you’ve labeled them or not, are reflections of him. For that’s what fathers do: fathers create images. That’s why God said, «Let us make man in our image.» Every person who will be a father in this world will involuntarily allow the miracle of transfer to happen in their children. Thank you, Holy Spirit. I’m letting this sit—Selah.
Write this point down: forgiveness is a father issue. All forgiveness is a father issue; it’s either vertical or horizontal—it’s all of it. Let me illustrate this to you: you will either learn this principle through this series, or you will live it out in your life. I’m trying to give you intentional, practical handles to the Word of God. All forgiveness is a father issue.
This is you: If you have a bad relationship with your earthly father, it affects how you perceive your heavenly Father. What people fail to understand is that if there’s no grace between you and your earthly father, it’s hard for you to receive the grace of your heavenly Father. When there’s no mercy connected to your earthly father, it is challenging to experience the mercy of God with your heavenly Father. That’s why if you’ve never experienced protection or being safe or being provided for from your earthly father, it makes it so hard to believe that God, your heavenly Father, would provide for you.
That’s why some of you might say, «That’s not true. I know God is my Father. I know He provides for me.» However, every time you step out on faith, you have a backup plan for your backup plan. No, that’s just called preparing. But if you dig down to the root of it, you don’t feel safe or secure. «I’m going to step out on you, God, but just in case you fail me like they did.» Just in case! That’s why some of you can’t step out and pursue a business because you were never safe and secure enough to trust anyone. If you messed up, they wouldn’t be there to pick you up, to help you, or to lend you a hand. So it’s just me by myself. Only I can do this.
And God says, «Hey, if you acknowledge Me in all your ways, I’ll direct your path.» «I got you.» «God, I hear you, Heavenly Father, but I don’t trust you.» So I’ll still create my own plan. It’s because all forgiveness is a father issue; either vertical or horizontal. Until we fix these relationships—and I know some of you are feeling it right now—your father may be dead and gone, but this message is so alive in your life because it still affects you. And I want to give you permission to be okay, knowing that you may never be able to speak to them again. But God can communicate with you through this situation. You may not know who your daddy is, but God is sending you this message today so that you can release them.
I understand—it’s uncomfortable. I know you’re trying to figure it out; I know emotions are welling, and that lump is forming in your throat right now. I know there have been offenses and boundaries crossed that should have never been crossed. I know you’ve gone through inner battles and resolved issues only to create a whole life, and you’re saying, «Pastor Mike, you’re ruining my perception and the beliefs I’ve held for so many years.» But I’m telling you, you don’t want to fake freedom; you want to be truly free. God says, «Who the Son sets free is free indeed.» You don’t have to act free; you simply are free, and some of us in the church have been acting free, but God says, «I want you to be free.»
And that means that we’re going to have to deal with our father issues, because the thing that you don’t understand is it may be you in your earthly father. But then you switch positions; now it’s you and your children. And you know the very thing you hated about your mom and dad? Many times, your kids feel that about you. I know nobody wants to hear it, but the very things—like, «I hate when my mama judges me and she hasn’t even heard me out"—and then you have kids and you tell them, «I don’t care about that, 'cause I said so.» Yes, I’m the parent; I know. But I just was trying to express how I feel. No, you became what you hated because you never dealt with what hurt. You became what you hated because you never dealt with what was hurting.
One more time: you became that part of your parental raising that you hated because you never allowed anybody to know and God to heal what is still hurting inside of you. Then what it does, it goes from you to your children, and that’s why they only come to your house for Thanksgiving and Christmas and they don’t fool with you at any other time of the year. Y’all think these are accidents—these are mechanisms for protection. Then your children escape; they start having children and try to build a life. That’s why the presence gets built; the presence gets bigger, but the presence gets less. «Oh my God, my kid got a Mercedes truck and he’s two!»
Okay, but are you there for them? Can they fall apart with you? Can you speak life into them when they come home from school in this world where someone else who has a broken family told their kids they wouldn’t be nothing? Do you have enough equity in time and margin to be able to say, «No, you are called; you are chosen. There is nobody in the world like you. God knows the number of hairs on your head. You are beautifully and wonderfully made; you are the head and not the tail; you are above and not beneath; you are God’s masterpiece. And there is nobody in the world who is called to do what you are called to do because God hand-chose you.»
Do you have the energy emotionally to do that? Usually, we can’t because we’re trying to overcompensate for what we didn’t get. And then it passes on from your children to their children. Y’all know we sing the song, «And your favor is upon you for a thousand generations.» What if they changed it to, «And your failures are upon them for a thousand generations, and your fear is upon them for a thousand generations, and your faking is upon them for a thousand generations»? You don’t believe me?
Deuteronomy 5:9-10 says, «For I, the Lord your God, am a jealous God, visiting the iniquities, the inward heart posture of fathers, upon the children to the third and fourth generation.» The good just doesn’t pass on. It’s not just the good—it’s not just that a good man leaves an inheritance for his children’s children. Yeah, yeah, we’re just trying to leave our kids a bank account for their colleges. Do you know what would be more beneficial than $80,000 when you die? It would be integrity, character, being consistent—those are the things that will last for generations. And the thing that I found is, write this point down: everybody needs an active father. God did not create you to not need. I didn’t say want; you were created on the inside of you from a father who wanted to produce his image in the earth.
So on the inside of every human that is born, there is a need for an active presence, walking in the cool of the day with your father. «I’m with you; I hear you,» when you’re not there. «Where are you?» That’s what God was in the garden for Adam and Eve. And what we try to do is act like we need a father for a segment of our life, and then we get grown and we’re good. And what happens is many of the decisions that you are suffering from right now as an adult, who is still in an adolescent stage of emotions and maturity, is that you still need a father—an active father.
And some of y’all are saying, «Well, my daddy’s dead.» What your earthly father was supposed to do was give you the blueprint and show you an image so that it would be so easy for you, when you came of age, to connect to your heavenly father. He was supposed to be the first example of what connection, community, devotion, care, and provision looked like on the earth. So that when you accepted what Jesus did for you through the cross, you would say, «Oh, I already know what a father looks like, so I can talk to my heavenly father; I can depend on my heavenly father; I can run to my heavenly father when I’m mad, when I’m hurt.»
My girls right now, no matter what happens to them, run to their father. They break something—"Daddy!» They get hurt—"Daddy!» They need money—"Daddy!» They are being trained at such a young age that whatever they need, they go to their father. What happens when you are raised and whatever you needed was either ignored by your father or you had no father to go to? It plays out in your spiritual relationship with God. When you lose your job, you don’t say, «Daddy!» When you get hurt, you don’t say, «Daddy!» When you feel taken advantage of—I’m feeling some people right now—when you feel taken advantage of, you don’t have anybody to tell that it was your daddy who did it.
Oh, I got to be real because there are people who held the title as fathers in your life, but they were so unaware of what they were about to do that they touched you illegitimately. They talked about you around their friends, talking about your butt, talking about your athletic skills, saying you’re not as good as so-and-so’s son. And all of these other things begin to leave deep caverns in your heart. And it wasn’t just that daddy wasn’t there; daddy caused the pain. And God’s saying, «It’s unfair.» It’s unfair.
When I drew up the blueprint for humanity, it wasn’t supposed to be like this. We talked about it last week, and I dare you to go back and watch that message. But sometimes you have to forgive the unfair. And a lot of your father situations—your father being unaware, or just providing, or just being the man of the house, or being there—all these other things, or just being emotionally lazy. There are all kinds of dynamics that go with this: acting one way in front of his church friends, and all this other stuff, but being a totally different way behind all of that. It’s unfair because that wasn’t the picture God drew up, but it was the image that you were presented with.
But I thank God for His grace because in Psalm 68:5—this is a scripture for everybody who’s struggling right now, even thinking about your father—this is a scripture that you can hang onto with all of your faith. Psalm 68:5 says, «God is a father to the fatherless; He’s a defender of the widows. This is God; this is God whose dwelling is holy.»
Now this messed me up when I read this scripture because it told me something. It literally says, «God is a father to the fatherless.» So I started thinking: nobody can be born except the male be in the picture. You cannot be born without a woman and a man, a female and a male. But God knew that every male would not make the choice to become a man and that every man wouldn’t emotionally provide to be a father. So God says, «I know there’ll be some things, and I want to step in and be the father to everybody—not just those who don’t have a male in their life, who did not have an active father in their life.» He said, «I’ll be that for you.» And that’s good news for somebody right now because you’re sitting here trying to figure out, «So what am I going to do? Am I stuck with this?»
God says, «You ain’t been stuck with nothing. Because before you were formed in your mother’s womb, I knew you and I made a plan that I would step in as your father. That if you need a provider, I’ll be a provider. If you need someone to speak life over you, I left a whole love letter for you to be able to listen to. If you need affirmation, I’ll speak it into your life. And He says, „I’ll be a father to the fatherless.“ But the problem that people need to understand is you can call someone „father“ and still be fatherless. You can call someone „That’s my father,“ but they’re not active in your life. So the things that you need are still missing. When I think about that, it comes down to this: when we say the word „father,“ our minds associate it with what we know. If you haven’t experienced it, you are left to associate with what you haven’t seen. „I haven’t seen a father. I haven’t seen this.“
Okay, I’m going to try something right now. Everybody close your eyes. Everybody in the whole building, close your eyes right now. Okay? And I want you to imagine—go with me; this is an exercise. I want you to imagine a pink polka-dotted elephant. Come on, see it right now—a pink polka-dotted elephant. Where’s the elephant? How big is the elephant? Are you in the picture? Just see it right now—a pink polka-dotted elephant. Now open your eyes. Did y’all see a pink polka-dotted elephant? Did everybody see it? Okay, some of y’all’s pink polka-dotted elephant looked like this; some of y’all’s looked like this.
Okay, some people’s pink polka-dotted elephant looked like this. How many’s pink polka-dotted elephant looked a little more like that? Ain’t barely no hands going up. Y’all got some vivid imaginations! Okay, some of y’all’s pink polka-dotted elephants looked like this. Look at it! Okay? But because you had never seen what I was talking about, you were only able to associate it with what you knew at the time. When I said, „pink polka-dotted elephant,“ this was what was in my mind. But because what was in my mind you had never seen before, you had to now use all your blue clues to associate and try to create an image that you were never shown.
When God says He will be your father and you had a father who was unaware, what ends up happening is now you try to pull from „Fresh Prince of Bel-Air,“ and you try to pull from the kids' shows that you watched, and you try to pull from your Uncle Bubba, and you try to pull from that high school coach, and you try to pull from your big cousin who always showed up for your games and encouraged you, and you try to make an image of a father that you have never seen before. What ends up happening is this picture is not—let me again say it to you—the picture of a father may not have been what God intended for you. And that’s why it’s so messed up. I’m coming to represent God today because I almost feel like a lawyer for God right now because some of y’all, He’s been misrepresented to you.
The picture of a father has been so broken that when we sing songs like, „He’s a good, good father,“ it’s who you are. Can I be very transparent? My wife told me one time she was like, „I hate that song.“ And I was like, „Not that song—'Good, Good Father.'“ And you’re perfect in all your ways. She said, „It reminds me of everything I didn’t have.“ And I know she’s not the only one that when she sings „You’re a good, good father,“ it becomes even more magnified when we found out that our son had autism and her father left at a very early age. And now she’s been trusting God and going along and becoming a pastor with me. And I really think that’s more of His calling, but you called us together, so we’re going to walk this thing out and da-da-da-da-da. And then you let my son experience this, and you want me to sit up here and sing „Good, Good Father“? My natural father left.
Now I’m in a situation that feels like my heavenly father left. And as much as I was like, „Just have faith,“ she was like, „No, I had a father.“ „Just stand,“ she’s like, „But it happened to me.“ My experience became real, and it translated what was not transformed, transferred. And now I’m sitting here and we’re sitting here having to believe our heavenly father. But one of us has an experience of a father always being there, and the other one has an experience of the father leaving at an early age. I’m just going to be very transparent with y’all: when your image of your earthly father is perverted, the enemy tries to hit first at your image of your heavenly father, because you cannot not associate the two, because we’re talking about fathers.
And today, I came to just try to give you a little hope to let you know that our heavenly father is so much bigger than who our earthly father was. They probably were just unaware. They didn’t know what they were going to cause you. They didn’t know that you would be sitting in therapy at 38. They didn’t know that all the Jordans and the gifts were going to make you feel insecure when you had to come into real life and start working a job and providing for yourself. And no longer could you buy those things for yourself, you felt like you weren’t worth it because you couldn’t afford that and God’s saying „I’m so much bigger than that“.
See, write this down: God is being misrepresented because of association assassination. If we call them father, it messes up how I call him Father. But Father is how God defines himself all through the Bible. Let me give you a few scriptures. Psalm 68:5—I’ll read the whole thing again. It says, „Father to the fatherless.“ That means he’s a provider. He’s a defender. That means he’s a protector of widows. This is God; this is God whose dwelling is holy—that means pure. Psalm 103:13, „The Lord is like a father to his children. He’s tender, and he’s compassionate to those who fear him,“ and „fear him“ means to honor him. James 1:17, „Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights.“ That means he’s generous, with whom there is no variation or shadow due to change. That means he’s consistent.
Just from these three scriptures, look what we’ve got as a description of fathers: Father is a provider, a protector, pure, tender, compassionate, honorable, generous, and consistent. The unfiltered truth that I need to tell you, because so many of us have experienced fathers who were unaware, is that to fully experience your heavenly Father, you are going to have to forgive your earthly father. I’m not telling you how to do that; go back and listen to some of the other messages. My assignment was to highlight how important being a father aware is. You are creating generational legacy, whether you know it or not. And God wanted me to tell somebody that the fullness you are supposed to experience in your life is going to come when you release that male who never really became a father; he never accepted being the man and became a father. When you release him of the debt he caused you and you forgive.
I had to take it very personally with this whole story because I have an amazing father. Tommy Todd is the best representation of a father. He is more like God—people know this. He is grace-filled, he’s kind, he’s generous, he takes time. He’s not perfect, but he is literally an active father. But when you search back in his timeline, my father did not meet his biological father until he was 18 years old, and he talked to him one time on a payphone in Mobile, Alabama.
I asked my dad, „Dad, what did he say?“ He said, „Michael, I don’t even remember the conversation.“ He said, „My mother was married to another man, and there was some infidelity that happened, and my twin sister and I were born out of this encounter. But the man that I call my father—the man who raised me—didn’t throw me away. He raised me as if I was his. They didn’t even tell me until I was 18.“ And he said, „I felt some type of way,“ but he said to me so clearly, „Michael, but I choose to forgive him.“ I was like, „Ah, that seems real, like, Dad, I just want to let you know right now if he’s not my dad, I’m going to be mad.“
Let me be very clear: if he were to come up, that Mama Bee was laying hands on another brother and we all look just like our daddy. But I’m just saying, think about what it would do to you if your entire life you were being raised thinking that you were an image of somebody you’re not. And he said, „Michael, I forgave my dad.“ I said, „Why?“ He said, „Because I knew that if I didn’t change the trajectory of my life by forgiving him, it would affect me with my children.“
Tommy R. Todd, who was actually named after his biological dad, went on to have five sons who he was able, because he forgave, to let go of the offense and what he was not provided and who didn’t show up. He let go of that man, and God was able to bring another man, another situation, another thing in, and provide security and safety for him so that he could become the man of God that he is today. Not a perfect one, but one who is progressing to be able to then pass on to five sons—three of whom have children right now—the characteristics that it means to some of y’all.
You may be like, „How is it so easy for you to trust God in faith, Pastor Mike?“ It’s because I had a good father. I had a father and a mother who saw me, who made sure I was safe, who made sure I was secure. So when I failed, I felt like I could do that. And some of you are like, „Well, great for you, Pastor Mike. F you!“ Like, we didn’t have that, we don’t have that. And what I’m telling you is the good news is God knew that man was going to mess up. So he declared to you, „If you’ll let me, if you’ll let him go and move him to the side, I can step in and be the Father to the fatherless.“
If you would stop being angry on Father’s Day and worship me more on Father’s Day—if you didn’t have a physical or earthly one—or they’re here but they’re not as active as you want them to be, and they don’t even see their own problems because they’re still in male form or boy form. Father, on Father’s Day, I’m going to give you praise like I’ve never given you before. You have protected me and seen me through and catered to me and known everything about me.
And God is saying, „Just because your father was unaware doesn’t mean I’m a Father who’s unaware. I don’t have a magic pill to take away all the issues that have happened to you. What I do have is a promise from our Father.“ That’s what they called him in the original language. It would be like the first time that a baby says „Dad.“ After all, do you know how innocent, trusting, and amazing it is for you to look at a child that had nothing to do with their existence, but they look up to the one who has provided for them, given them milk, and given them shelter, and they say, „Dad, Dad“? That’s the purest version. God says, „I want to be Abba.“ When you’re hurting, Abba. When you’re broken, Abba. When you’re in need, Abba. I want to be the Father to the fatherless.
So, Pastor Mike, what do you want us to do? I just want you to sit in this moment and know that forgiveness is available. It’s available for your unaware father. You can let him go. You may never have a conversation with him. He may have been a deadbeat, or he may have been there but just not been able to give you what you wanted. But you can forgive. Listen to me: you can forgive your father. And at some point, as you mature in this Christian walk, it may not be through this series; it may be three years from now, five years from now, three weeks from now, but somewhere along the way, it’s going to hit you. What’s going to hit me, Pastor Mike? It’s going to hit you like it hit me in so many different areas in my life. It may not be your fault, but it is now your responsibility. That’s not fair; neither is life. But God’s saying it may not have been your fault that you had a deadbeat dad, or it may not have been your fault that he got locked up on charges that he didn’t even really do. It may not have been your fault. He said, „How it’s affecting you is now your responsibility.“ And I need you to forgive your unaware father.
And I need to talk to fathers who have been unaware. Listen to me: if you’re an unaware father and you have not done the things that you know you needed to do for your children, they’re still living. They’re still growing. They’re still around. I want to let you know it is so imperative that you start today. Don’t think about all the guilt and the shame. „Oh, you’re just trying to be in my life now,“ and so on. They’ll say all of that. But I need you to mature into manhood and realize they’re speaking from hurt because of what you did. You were not there. You were not available. You did choose something else as a priority. But it’s never too late to start trying.
Let me say what your kids can’t say to you because they’re so broken. They need you. Your children—they’re 14 to 24, they’re 44, and they still don’t feel safe and secure because they don’t have the voice of their earthly father. What happens when you could be somebody right now? I know you didn’t sign up for all of this, and I sure didn’t want to be this heavy on my birthday, but I promise you this is more important than me turning up. It’s more important to me that you would become who God created you to be, and you stop the generational cycles that can be passed on to another generation. It doesn’t matter how you feel; it matters what you’ve been called to. And if you were born a male, you can choose to be a man, and you can take the responsibility to be a father.
I’m standing flat-footed and I’m challenging you. I’m challenging you like maybe your father wasn’t there to challenge you. Stand up with God’s help, with the grace that he’s provided. Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who stand in Christ Jesus. Today, you can be forgiven vertically so that you can give forgiveness horizontally. Abba, Abba is who we need right now. We need Daddy God. We don’t just need King; we don’t just need Lord; we don’t just need all of the amazing attributes. We need Abba, the Father who really loves us, who sees us, secures us, who makes us safe, who gives us purpose and identity.
And right now, I just want us to take a moment and say a lot like the Bible says. Because I know emotions are everywhere. Some of you have been mad this whole message and that’s okay; you can feel that. Some of you have felt lonely this entire message. Some of you are the fathers who have been unaware and now you’re feeling convicted. Some of you have been a victim of fathers unaware, and all this is doing is bringing up old and bad memories for you. It’s okay. You’re safe right now because if you would just let him, Abba, our Father God—the one who is consistent, the one who is a provider, the one who wants to bring us into his family, the one who is tender and compassionate, the one who is honorable and generous—he wants to come into your life.
I’m going to share one more scripture with you: Galatians 4:7. „But when the set time had fully come, God sent his Son, born of a woman, born under the law.“ He knew what we would experience to redeem those under the law. Watch this—that we, everybody say „we"—that we might receive adoption to sonship. That we could go from being outside of the family to being adopted, so we have a Father, and Abba, inside of the family because you are his son. God sent the spirit of his Son into our hearts—the spirit who calls out, «Abba, Father.» And some of your spirits are calling out, «I need a father.» My daddy was there, but he was there in presence but not with his presence. And right now, God’s saying, «I’ll give you my presence, Abba, Father.»
So that you are no longer a slave, but you’re God’s child. When you are fatherless, you feel like a slave. You feel like a slave to people’s opinions. You feel like a slave to work. You feel like a slave to performance. Some of y’all have been working all your life just to get a father’s affirmation: «You’re okay, you’re good, you’ve done enough, you’re going to make it.» I’m here with you; I love you for who you are, not what you do. God’s saying, «You’re no longer a slave, having to work for approval; you are a son. You are God’s child.»
And watch this: since you are his child, God has also made you—he upgraded your status. He’s also made you an heir. Stop acting like that. Stop, no, no, no, no, no. Your royalty—uh-uh, uh-uh. Your self-esteem is based on who I say you are. You’re able; you’re more than a conqueror. Every place you step, I’ll give you that territory. Do you know who you are? You’re my child. I don’t care what last name you have; you’ve been blood-bought. I feel this thing right now. I paid the ultimate sacrifice to give you my name. And today, when you need help, call Abba. When you don’t know who you are, call Abba. When you’re broken, call Abba. When you’re trying to raise your kids and you didn’t have an example, call Abba. And I’ll be there. I’ll be Daddy God. I’ll be consistent.
You’re seen, you’re safe, you’re secure. I’ll soothe you, I’ll give you purpose, I’ll tell you who you are. I’ve made you in my image, and if I could get some fathers to be aware, it’d be easier because they would see a practical version of what I’ve tried to do with you in a heavenly fashion, as it is in heaven. Let it be on earth, as the Father has been to us in heaven.
God, I’m praying that you would make males aware so they can be it on earth. And I pray for every person, every young boy and young girl, who may be older but is suffering right now from fathers unaware. God, I don’t have a solution in a service, but your Holy Spirit is working right now. And I’m asking you, Father, to do what no word can do, what me laying my hands on people can’t do. Father, you’re the only one who can cause heart transformation. I thank you, Father, that you’re preparing people’s hearts to forgive their fathers. And I even hear this right now: some of you need to forgive God. Yeah, some of you have been so broken by your earthly relationships, and then you got disappointed by God, and now you feel isolated and alone. I just want to tell you, I hear you. Thank you, Holy Spirit.
God said, I can handle how you feel. Tell Him. Tell Him how mad you are at Him; cuss if you have to. Say it however you feel it. He’s big enough, strong enough, and secure enough to take His children throwing a tantrum. When my kids throw a tantrum, I know what they’re doing: they’re either hurting, needing something, or didn’t get something, and that’s the way they try to provide for themselves. God says, throw the tantrum, and I’ll be there right after you finish to lift you up. I feel the presence of God right now to wrap my love around you and speak into you what you don’t even know you need. Abba, at the end of this service, I’m going to play this song, and I want you to spend this time—don’t move around, don’t silence everything.
Tell everybody to calm down because right now, I believe ministry is about to happen in this arena and in your home. If you’re watching this back on rebroadcast, ministry is about to happen right now. I want you to hear this song, and this is what I want you to do: I want you to ask the Holy Spirit, «What are you trying to say to me through this message?» See, the Holy Spirit is active in everyone’s life. For one person, it may be one thing, and for another person, it may be something different. But right now, come on, just lift your hands all over this place, all over the world, and say, «Holy Spirit, what are you trying to say to me through this message?» Just ask Him now; I need you to listen for Abba to speak to you.
Who really loves me? Abba, Abba, Abba, He’ll never leave and never forsake. Ever since I was born again, I have been crafted into someone deserving, and yet in spite of my sin, He loved me and called me His. I am His very own. Through His love, I changed. Now I proclaim: Abba, Abba, Abba, I have a Father who really loves me. Abba, Abba, Abba, He’ll never leave and never forsake. Ever since I’ve been baptized, I’ve taken on the name of Christ. He gave me my identity, so now I’m free from every generational curse. Because of Him, it’s been reversed. I am joined as one with Jesus. Now I proclaim: Abba, Abba, Abba, I have a Father who really loves me. Abba, Abba, Abba, He’ll never leave.
♪ Yeah, yeah ♪
♪ Abba Father loves me ♪
♪ Abba Father holds me ♪
♪ Abba Father keeps me ♪
♪ Abba Father takes care of me ♪
♪ Abba Father protects me ♪
♪ Abba Father directs me ♪
♪ Abba Father provides for me ♪
♪ He’ll never ever leave me ♪
♪ Abba Father loves me ♪
♪ Abba Father loves me ♪
♪ Abba Father holds me ♪
♪ Abba Father keeps me ♪
♪ Abba Father takes care of me ♪
♪ Abba Father protects me ♪
♪ Abba Father directs me ♪
♪ Abba Father provides for me ♪
♪ He’ll never ever leave me ♪
♪ Abba Father loves me ♪
Come on, somebody needs to believe that. Come on, lift your hands and receive that! He’s keeping you; He’s caring for you. Right now, God is reversing and transforming everything that has been done to steal from you. Abba Father, He’s coming in with a strong arm and a compassionate heart. He’s rebuilding. I feel that. Thank you, Father. Thank you for being Abba, who is taking care of us, providing for us, and protecting us. God, come on, receive His love. Receive His love. You’re never going to leave me, God. We trust you in the name of Jesus that you’re repairing the breach. You’re repairing the breach. We are lost; God, you’re never going to leave. You see us, you secure us, you know us, God. And all over the world in this moment, I dare us to lift it up just one more time. Say, «Abba!» Come on, lift it up. «Abba!» Somebody say, «I have a Father, and He really loves me.» Come on, somebody say, «Abba! Abba!» He’ll never leave me, never forsake me.
Hands lifted all over the world. I feel the presence of God right now. People are in surgery at this moment. I know some of you have had a hard exterior this whole service. There’s a crack forming in the heart and posture right now, and God’s saying, «Let me in. Let me be Abba. Let me be Father. I’ll never leave you. I’ll never forsake you. I’m standing with you.» I want you to allow the Holy Spirit to continue to speak to you. God is doing something right now. If you have had a father who was unaware, or you are a father who has been unaware up until this point today, God’s saying there’s forgiveness for you. I’ll forgive you if they don’t. I believe this is going to transform people’s lives if you accept it. I want to pray for you.
Right now, if that’s you, if you fit into either one of those categories—if there’s an area that you’ve been unaware of your fatherhood, or you’ve been affected by an unaware father— I want you to stand, even in your home, in the arena, if you’re watching this on rebroadcast. I want you to stand. I know it takes humility to talk about this because your pops might be there. There may be some stuff, there may be some things going on, but I want you to stand. And then I want you to lift your hands. The thing about a child is they surrender. When a real father walks in, they give up trying to be the provider. They give up trying to be the one who’s in control because someone who really knows is in control.
And I want to pray for you. This is huge, the fact that you would even acknowledge it. Remember, we cannot fix what we will not validate. Nothing that you act like is not there can ever be fixed. And God’s saying right now, you’ve acknowledged that you have been affected by an unaware father or that you’ve been one. Right now, just stand up. I know some of you right now are warring with your pride. But what would a loving father do right now? God’s saying today is a day of transformation, and we want to see that change.
Father, I pray first off for every father who is literally standing right now and the enemy is trying to convince them of guilt and condemnation. I bind that spirit in the name of Jesus. And I declare and believe, Father God, that your grace is rushing over them like a flood. Your mercy is new every morning, Father God. And I thank you that you would give them the audacity to choose differently. God, in your Word, you said, «I set before you life and death,» and you give us the answer: choose life. Today, you’re giving them the choice to become not just a male but a man—to put away childish things and take on the responsibility of being a father. God, we can’t do it on our own, but your Word says that you will give us both the desire and the power to do what pleases you.
So, I thank you that these men of God who have been unaware now have a revelation, and they are aware of what they’ve been called to do in humanity, which is to set a foundation for people—to be the pre-show for people to meet you. And I thank you that no matter what this baby mama situation is or how far the geographical location, I thank you that there would be a burden for men to get back in their place in the home, to be the men of God you’ve called them to be, and be the fathers that will change this nation and change the world. And I thank you that they will walk in joy.
I declare that every man receiving this and accepting the grace of God is going to sleep better than they’ve ever slept before tonight, Father. There’s going to be an evident difference in their countenance, Father God. And for every future father, I thank you God that there’s a burden on the inside of them right now. I feel this thing. Come on, future fathers, lift your hands right now. I declare and believe that there will be a burden that they will stand up and take their responsibility as image bearers seriously. They will get to know you and deal with their issues and all of the pain, Father, so that they can be images that reflect you and point their children to you. God, I thank you for the ability for you to sustain them as you heal them in the name of Jesus.
And now I pray for every person who has been affected by unaware fathers. God, there are deep wounds. God, there are deep wounds. I feel them as I stand here today. People are insecure; people are mad; people are hurting. People can’t see you. People have vowed never to love. People have cursed you. But God, you’re big enough to take all of our tantrums. I ask that your grace would pour over all of us right now. God, I pray for the one who has been fighting this the whole time because they really feel that if they let this emotion out, Father, somehow they won’t be able to get it back together. God, I thank you that you would send your Holy Spirit to be the Comforter right now—the one that comes alongside of them to help. This is the breakthrough you’ve been praying for.
And God says everything is going to change. Freedom comes with forgiveness. God, I thank you that you’re going to give them the audacity to let their unaware fathers go—not to become best friends with them, not necessarily to go back into an abusive situation or try to mend everything—but God, I’m asking that they release them, because they didn’t know God; they were unaware of how many decades it would affect us. God, and I thank you that you will step in like you always do and be Abba, the Father to the fatherless, in Jesus' name.
So, I thank you that these men of God who have been unaware now have a revelation, and they are aware of what they’ve been called to do in humanity, which is to set a foundation for people—to be the pre-show for people to meet you. And I thank you that no matter what this baby mama situation is or how far the geographical location, I thank you that there would be a burden for men to get back in their place in the home, to be the men of God you’ve called them to be, and be the fathers that will change this nation and change the world. And I thank you that they will walk in joy.
I declare that every man receiving this and accepting the grace of God is going to sleep better than they’ve ever slept before tonight, Father. There’s going to be an evident difference in their countenance, Father God. And for every future father, I thank you God that there’s a burden on the inside of them right now. I feel this thing. Come on, future fathers, lift your hands right now. I declare and believe that there will be a burden that they will stand up and take their responsibility as image bearers seriously. They will get to know you and deal with their issues and all of the pain, Father, so that they can be images that reflect you and point their children to you. God, I thank you for the ability for you to sustain them as you heal them in the name of Jesus.
And now I pray for every person who has been affected by unaware fathers. God, there are deep wounds. God, there are deep wounds. I feel them as I stand here today. People are insecure; people are mad; people are hurting. People can’t see you. People have vowed never to love. People have cursed you. But God, you’re big enough to take all of our tantrums. I ask that your grace would pour over all of us right now. God, I pray for the one who has been fighting this the whole time because they really feel that if they let this emotion out, Father, somehow they won’t be able to get it back together. God, I thank you that you would send your Holy Spirit to be the Comforter right now—the one that comes alongside of them to help. This is the breakthrough you’ve been praying for.
And God says everything is going to change. Freedom comes with forgiveness. God, I thank you that you’re going to give them the audacity to let their unaware fathers go—not to become best friends with them, not necessarily to go back into an abusive situation or try to mend everything—but God, I’m asking that they release them, because they didn’t know God; they were unaware of how many decades it would affect us. God, and I thank you that you will step in like you always do and be Abba, the Father to the fatherless, in Jesus' name.
In that same attitude, if you’re here and you’ve never accepted Abba Father as your personal Lord and Savior, I feel God doing work. All week, y’all, I literally feel the presence of God right now. He’s about to be working and working and working. You need to send this to every person you know, even if they think they don’t have any daddy issues. You don’t know—they’ve been faking it with you the whole time. You need this to be something, and even if it’s not for them, it’s so they can know for future generations—their spouses, who they marry—all this other stuff. God is doing surgery on people’s hearts right now.
We are going to learn to truly forgive. And I believe right now, if you’ve never accepted Jesus Christ as your personal Lord and Savior, He is the only way that we can actively get to Abba. The Bible says there’s no other way that you can come to Abba except through Jesus. And so, remember I told you that your vertical relationships and your horizontal relationships are connected. God says, «Alright, I’m going to send Jesus so you can have a representation who knows exactly who you are.»
And all I need you to do is believe in Him horizontally, and then you have connection with Me vertically. And today, if you want to give your life to Jesus Christ, I want to give you that opportunity right now. It’s the thing that takes a man like me—who was a liar, addicted to pornography, a manipulator; somebody who had a lot of bad in their heart—and now I’m not perfect, but I’m progressing. It’s something that takes somebody like me and changes and transforms my life. And God is offering that to you right now. He wants to be Abba Father to you, but it has to happen through Jesus.
So right now, according to Romans 10:9, all you have to do is believe and confess with your mouth that Jesus Christ is Lord and that He died for you. That’s it! And all of your sin, all your mistakes, all your missteps—He throws them as far as the East is from the West. I know religion tells you that you need to clean up and change and do this, and God says, «If you let me in, I will help you change your habits if you let me into your heart.» And today, He wants that for you.
On the count of three, if you want to be added into that prayer, all I need you to do is lift your hands, just as a sign saying, «Pastor, add me into that prayer.» This is the prayer that transformed everything for me. One, you’re making the greatest decision of your life. Two, I’m so proud of you, but forget that; God is more proud of you. Three, come on, shoot your hand up all over the world right now. Come on, there are hundreds of people—I feel it right now—shooting their hands up. And listen right now, you don’t have to confess everything that you’ve done. All you have to do right now is believe and pray this with me. Transformation Nation, you know this is why we exist: to see transformation in Christ. So everybody, let’s pray this prayer all together for the benefit of those who are coming to Christ today. Come on, would you just lift your hands and say:
Father, thank you for being good. Thank you for sending Jesus. Today, I put my trust in Him. I believe He lived and died just for me. So take over. Change me. Transform me. I’m Yours. In Jesus' name, Amen.