Michael Todd - Rip Up Your List - Part 1
Hello, my name is Michael Todd, and I am the lead pastor of Transformation Church. Today, I believe God has a word for you. Before I get into this message, I want to say thank you. As many of you know, this past week, your boy released his first-ever book called Relationship Goals. You all supported this project so much! As I reflect on what God has done because of your support—because of you sharing it and telling people about it, buying it for your kids and grandkids, and purchasing it for your whole group—this book became the number one book in the world this week! How in the world did that happen? It deepens the thought that God gave us a long time ago: «All you have to do is finish it; that’s all you need.» I want to thank you for that, especially to those who joined us at the release party and those who are still buying it.
Transformation Church here in Tulsa, I know many of you haven’t been able to get the book, so your pastor is working on something for you to acquire it this week. I truly believe this will help people win in their relationships. At TC, we have a culture code of generosity; we give just to give and not to get. So, I want to give some things away right now! I will pick a few people from Instagram and shout you out if you’re watching right now.
The first thing I want to give away is a signed copy of this book to someone right now. If you want it, put it in the comments: «I want that book!» The first person I want to bless is on Instagram, @bianca_noldin. Bianca, this is your book; it’s coming to you! Is that Bianca over there? Bianca, this book is on its way to you!
Next, I want to give one more signed book away to @IAmTimothyGriffin. Timothy Griffin, if you’re watching, Pastor Mike has a book with your name on it, and it’s signed just for you. I love generosity! We customized some shoes; y’all know Pastor likes shoes. For our five-year anniversary, we had some shoes custom-made. Can we put those on the screen? I want to give these shoes to someone right now.
I picked someone, and I feel someone praying hard right now. I see you, and I feel your spirit! The custom shoes are going to @official_deandre_sanders. DeAndre, where you at? These shoes are coming to you!
Now, I had some custom Relationship Goals Nikes made. Now, someone might be thinking, «Isn’t this a bit much? Shouldn’t he be opening the Scriptures right now?» Excuse me while someone gets blessed! Keep yourself over there for a second and let someone else get blessed! I’ve got some custom-made Relationship Goals Nikes that I want to give away. These aren’t for sale; I’m giving them to someone. I want to give these to @makita_m-a-k-e-d-a_tie. These are yours right now; I hope you enjoy them!
I want to give away one more thing. Many of you don’t know that this series went viral, and people saw the example I demonstrated with the orange golf balls. Natalie and I thought it would be cool to create moments for others, so I took the jacket from that original presentation, filled it with the orange golf balls, and Natalie and I signed it. I’m sending it to someone right now!
Somebody, increase your prayer life! God can change the name on the screen. The person I want to send this to is @queen_b_7. Queen B7, that is headed your way! Come on, rejoice with everyone who won! To those of you who are feeling a bit salty right now, take the salt off and get sweet!
Today, again, I just want to say thank you. Thank you for not just being a part of a moment but for being a part of a movement. God is doing something so extravagant through you! Remember, this is not just the church as an organization; you are the church as an organism. Today, I want to pray that God speaks to us. I’ve been listening to this song that says, «Speak to my heart, Lord; give me Your holy word. If I can’t hear from You, then I’ll know what to do. I won’t go alone.»
This is a little old school, but I’ll never go on my own. Just let Your Spirit guide and let Your word abide. «Speak to my heart, Lord.» I need y’all to be my choir right now. «Give me Your holy word. If I can hear from You, then I know what to do. I won’t go alone.» God, I’ll never go on my own. Just let Your Spirit guide and let Your word abide.
Speak to my heart, Father. I thank You that You would speak to everyone’s hearts. Come on, hands lifted all over this building and all over your house. God, speak to our hearts in the name of Jesus. Nobody knows how to reach our hearts like You do. Today, God, I’m asking that You would penetrate areas that have been locked up because of hurt, pain, or frustration. Father, maybe we lacked instruction. I thank You that You will speak directly to people’s hearts. Habits don’t change if hearts don’t change, Lord. We need You to change our hearts. We’ve been dealing with symptoms, but we need You to deal with the root today. As we start Relationship Goals: Reloaded, I thank You that You will speak to our hearts. God, don’t let us just feel good; let us transform! Do a work on the inside of us, and we’ll be careful to give You all the glory, honor, and praise in Jesus' name.
I dare you to clap your hands in your house, in your kitchen! Oh, magnify the Lord with me; let’s exalt His name together! Hallelujah, I’m ready! Are y’all ready? Put «ready» in the comments if you are, because I’m telling you, I’m reloaded! Every time I say «reloaded,» I feel like I have to do that sound! Alright! I want you to get out your notes because we’re starting week two of our series called «Help Me: Relationship Goals Reloaded.»
You forgot the sound effects! I’ll give you one more chance. Today, we’re starting week two of a series called «Relationship Goals: Reloaded.» Help me!
Alright, there we go! I felt you do it on that one. Last week, we learned about the principles of God being the guide for all of our relationships. We learned that if we’re going to pursue what God has called us to do and have the relationships He wants for us, we need to prioritize the word of God—the manual, the maker’s mind—as the principal thing in all our relationships.
What burdens me is that so many people want relationship goals but have no aim. Until we gain aim, we can never reach the goals God has for us. So, this entire series is designed to help you. I don’t care how you got here; whether someone sent you the link or your boyfriend insisted you both listen to «Relationship Goals: Reloaded,» I want you to know it’s on purpose because God wants to divinely aim you toward what real relationship goals are.
Last week, I didn’t hold back. I saw you all on Twitter; they said we were trending. I’m all good with that, but are you transforming in real life? We can trend and share quotes, but if we don’t get it in our hearts and begin applying these things, we’ll miss the mark. Remember what we talked about last week: knowledge means light, while darkness signifies ignorance.
In many areas of our lives, especially regarding relationships, we are walking in darkness because nobody showed us how to navigate this. We don’t have a playbook, and we’ve been watching celebrities and culture define what relationships are, but it keeps failing because it’s done in darkness. But when we gain light—when we receive Jesus' perspective, principles, and mind on relationships— we start walking in light.
It’s tougher to see in darkness, but it’s easier to navigate obstacles when you have light. What we want for each of you in your relationships is for the light to come on so you can see clearly. I’m about to call some names! My goal is for you to clearly see that he or she may be an obstacle. The success you believe you should have may be something you are tripping over simply because you’re in the dark. But through this series, by faith, we are going to shine! Everybody shout at me, «Light!» Come on, put some light bulbs in the comments! That’s what we want: the light to come on so you can win in relationships!
This thing keeps going to sleep! I know this word won’t stop today. I encourage you in this moment: if you’re in a place of relational darkness, I don’t know who you are or what’s going on. But if you feel trapped in relational darkness, God wants to change every relationship in your life because you chose those relationships in darkness. Listen, if you’re feeling dark right now, God told me to tell you that every relationship around you is about to change—even the ones you call your best friends.
It’s about to change because you picked those relationships in the dark. Some of you might be thinking, «Oh, that’s good, but I’m married to you. Do I get to get rid of you?» Nope! You’re stuck! If you’re married, you don’t get to choose another partner right now. Instead, you’re going to change to look at your situation differently, and you’re going to become what you want from them. Oh, I just said a lot! God said, «The light is coming on!»
I feel that! The light is coming on! I began considering this concept of being transformed by the light of God’s knowledge and placing His principles first in our lives regarding relationships. Then, something strange happened this week: Natalie and I have been doing a ton of interviews and appearing on national TV to discuss Relationship Goals. Someone asked her a question that threw me off a bit—the foundation of today’s message that I believe will change your life.
They asked Pastor Natalie, «My goodness, you guys have been married for 10 years! Was Pastor Michael everything on your list?» I felt the hesitation in her voice. There was a little throat-clearing, and I stepped back, thinking, «Let’s see how she responds!» «Yes, Natalie, was I everything on your list?» You know, Natalie and I like to keep our relationship humble, open, and transparent. She replied, «No, actually, he wasn’t anything on my list.»
I thought, «This woman just told everyone on national TV that I wasn’t her relationship goal!» She said, «I thought my list included someone tall and muscular, perhaps more Hispanic, Puerto Rican.» I responded, «So, you were hoping to marry Derek Jeter or A-Rod, huh? And this is what you got, baby!» Then I began to reflect that the list she had was fabricated from her imagination.
We all have some form of list—a list for relationships, a list for business, a list for when we should get married and build a house, and when we plan to have children. We have these lists. What God told me is that He is not a God of your list. He said, «Michael, many of my children are disappointed in relationships because they created their list and are asking Me to be Santa Claus or the Tooth Fairy.»
Since I’ve been nice and not naughty, will you please give me my list? Uh oh, I’m in somebody’s house right now, and God says I am not the god of the list. So, he gave me this title, and I need everybody to buckle up right now because I’m going to say something very strong and direct, but I think it’s going to change your life. The title of today’s sermon is «Rip Up Your List.» Every list you’ve made without God, every list that came out of your imagination but had no faith attached to it, I’m telling you today you have to decide to rip up your list. Oh, I feel this thing right now.
See, we need a revelation of relationships, but the thing that’s working against God being preeminent in our lives is that we’ve already made a life without him. We’ve already written down in our journal what we want, when we want it, and how we want it. It begins to work against what God has for us because he’s thinking of the purpose he put us here for, and we’re thinking of the pleasure we want to experience. God says our list and his list will never match. I know some people are frustrated; don’t log off right now because what you need to understand is the list you’ve made. And somebody’s like, «Well, I’ve never made a list.» Yeah, yeah, there are lists in your mind, even if you haven’t written them down, that you’ve said you’ll only work with people like this.
You’ve put stipulations and circumstances. «I’ll only get married when this happens.» We’ve made inner vows; we’ve told ourselves this is what we’re going to do, how we’re going to do it, and by what age we’re going to do it. It is one of the greatest sources of frustration for people because God does not line up with what he didn’t line out. He didn’t outline that course for your life, but you’re frustrated now because your plan didn’t line up with what’s actually happening. Today, through the Word of God, I’m going to encourage you to rip up your list. Let me give you the definition I made up of the list. See, the list is the thing that, «Oh, I want him to be six-six; I want him to have a job that pays him well; I want him to be able to take care of me, cook salmon, and have at least a six-pack.»
That was your list, and you’re sitting there with Elmer Fudd—no, I’m just playing, but for some of y’all, that’s the reality. «Well, I want her to be able to laugh at all my jokes; she likes sports but also loves makeup; she does this and does that.» We make all of these lists, and God told me today, he said, «I would like to revise every list that has ever been made without me. I would like to call a redo to the situation and to your life in relationships.» Look at the definition of the list: it’s a set of predetermined, self-fabricated ideals of a specific person, situation, or outcome that was written down, continually thought about, or verbally communicated by which erroneous expectations become goals for achievement.
Let me break it down: it’s the stuff that we said was going to happen with no grounding, just because we felt it. I saw something on TV and thought, «Yo, I’m going to build my dream house by the time I’m 24.» You start saying that over and over and over, until it becomes an erroneous expectation in your life. And when it doesn’t happen by the time you’re 24, you’re looking at God like, «I thought you said you were with me. I thought you said, 'If you’re for me, then who can be against me? '» He said, «I didn’t plan that; you made that up and put it on your list, and I was nowhere in that.»
That’s where I’m coming to challenge you because some of you are discontent in the season you’re in right now, not because God stopped doing what he said he would do; it’s because you thought you would be somewhere else that God never promised you would be. Ah, they don’t want this; they don’t want this today, y’all, but I’m going to give it to you anyway because I’m reloaded. Somebody is supposed to win in relationships, but if God’s purpose for your life is going to be preeminent, you have to take away everything you built without him. Rip up the list! Somebody put it in the comments: «Rip up your list!»
Come on, let me give you a reason why you should rip up your list. You rip up your list because your list for you will never look like God’s list for you. Your list of factors of what you want—like, let me break it down—when you make a list of how you want your relationships to be, your life to be, and your family to be, your list factors in what you want. When God makes a list of how he wants your life to be, how he wants your family to be, and how he has designed your relationships to be, he factors in what you need. Many of us never pick what we need; we pick what we want.
See, Natalie wanted a Puerto Rican, green-eyed something, but what she got was a fine tall man of milk chocolate; you hear me? Not because it’s what she wanted, but it was what she needed. The job that you’re working right now may not be what you wanted, but your character needs to be developed some more, so God gave you what you needed. Some of y’all are mad because you were born into the family you were born into, but what I’m telling you is that may not have been the family you wanted, but something that was birthed in the pain you went through was what you needed for the purpose that God has called you to. I’m just getting started. See, when we make up fabricated standards based on our feelings—no prayer, no prophetic insight, no word from God—just feelings.
«Yeah, before I turn 40, I’m going to be retired.» Where did that come from? Where did you make that up? «Oh no, I’m going to run my own business next year,» and that was five years ago. You’re frustrated in this moment because you have personally fabricated things and never went to God for them. The reason why I’m bringing this in the second week of relationship goals is that I think this is one of the main reasons why relationships do not work out and why they break down: because of fabricated expectations of somebody else. You put it on your list that they would be athletic; you put it on the list that they would be emotional; you put it on your list that they would be able to understand your childhood scars and that y’all would like the same things. All these things you put on your list were made by you and not co-signed by God.
And so God says when I present to you what you actually need, you’re mad—you’re big mad—because my way for you, the Bible says, is not the way you would choose. But that’s where trust comes in, and that’s why I believe some people have to rip up their lists. I see people right now; you’re frustrated with where you are in life. I know you’re frustrated with the relationships that you have, you’re frustrated with the way that business is going, but I’m going to teach you something that changed my life. It’s the formula of frustration. Can I tell it to you right now? Write this down; you don’t want to miss this. This will change your children’s children. The formula of frustration is fabricated expectations plus failed reality equals feelings of frustration. So you make up stuff you don’t even tell nobody. Like, you make up, «My 30th birthday is gonna be the turn-up of the century. I promise you we’re turning up!» And you make this fabricated expectation. Then the reality is your birthday was in the middle of a pandemic.
Let’s be real, because that’s the reality people are living right now. «My birthday’s gonna be a turn-up!» I’m telling everybody, «I’m turning up!» Oh, okay, and the reality is my birthday’s in the middle of a pandemic. And now you have feelings of frustration—not because you didn’t have people around you who appreciated you; they did things for you, they sent you cards, and they sent you text messages. If you didn’t have this fabricated expectation, you could have appreciated what was actually there. But instead, because you made something up that was not supposed to be there, now you’re feeling frustrated and downtrodden in this thing. It’s time for you to rip up the list, and I don’t care what area of your life it is.
It can be in relationships; this message is coming for everybody. It can be in your marriage, it can be in your business, it can be in any area. It’s time to go back to what God is saying, because too many people are feeling frustrated. But I need to let you know something about God, and this may be the thing you don’t like, but it’s the thing you need to hear right now. The reason you have to rip up your list, take this down, is because God is more committed to your destiny than he is to your desires. He’s more committed to the destiny he sent you here for than your own desires. And this is where people say, «I didn’t like that Christianity thing anyway. I got to get out of here.»
But I wish somebody would have told me this, because I spent many years of my Christian life quoting scriptures wrong. I know somebody’s saying, «Uh, I’m looking it up right now; I know the Bible says that God will give you the desires of your heart. I know that’s in there somewhere!» Oh baby, you heard somebody say that and you didn’t actually read the scripture. Let me take you to the scripture and give you revelation that the Bible does say something like that, but let me give you the context.
Psalms 37, verse 4— it says, «Delight yourself in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart.» Let me give you the passage remix, okay? When you choose to put yourself in the Lord, when you choose to put your plans in the Lord, when you choose to put your relationships in the Lord, when you choose to put your business plans in the Lord, then it says he will give your heart what it should desire—not he’s gonna give you everything that’s already in your heart that’s ugly and is not like Him. He gonna give you your heart’s desire. He said when you’re surrounded by my will, my idea for you, when you get in accountability—and you know because what’s in our heart is bad.
The Bible tells us that the heart is more deceitful than anything. The stuff I naturally want without God is selfish, it’s self-serving, it’s prideful, and God says, «That’s why you got to come out of yourself and you got to get in Me.» And when you delight yourself in the Lord, he says, «I’ll change the things in your heart,» and you’ll start wanting the things I want for you. You’ll go from wanting money and wanting to be effective. You’ll go from wanting to be impressive to impactful. See, he’ll start to—how do you know, Pastor Mike? This is my life. When I was a younger man and I thought I was gonna be Diddy or Kanye or somebody like that, I wanted it for what it made me feel like.
If you would have told me that a million people would be following me on anything, that would have gone straight to my head! That would have gone straight to blow up the sting that I was doing. And so God said, «Let me take you the humble route. Let me get you in Me. Let me transition you from the music industry and all this other stuff, and let me let you start off serving a bunch of youth who don’t even know if they want God. Let me help you work with them through their 14 and 13-year-old problems. You got to sit there for an hour and a half and really care about it and take it home and pray for them and then pray for their parents. Why don’t you get in Me? And when you get in Me, I’ll start to change your desires.» I went from saying, «I’d never be on a platform,» to saying, «God, I never ever want to be without a platform to be able to give your name glory.»
What was that? He was changing my heart’s desires and giving me what to desire. I don’t know who I’m talking to right now, but some of you have been desiring things that were not in the Lord, and God’s saying rip up that list, tear that thing up, because I’m telling you when you get my desires for you, you will live the life that you’re really searching for. The reason why it’s not working and you still feel unfulfilled is because it was never meant to fill you up unless it came from the source.
Let me stop, and that’s why Proverbs 19:21 says, read this one. It says, «Many are the plans in a person’s heart.» Many—I mean, all of us got plans. All of us. Let me say it another way. All of us got lists. All of us got things we put in our calendar. «By this time, I would have this, and I’d be having this many kids by now.» Me and my family would be doing this. We all got plans. But look what it says: «But it’s the Lord’s purpose that prevails.» I came to a place where I ripped up my list of being this world-renowned music producer and having millions of dollars by the time I was 25, and doing— I ripped up all of those lists because I was fighting a losing battle. He said, «You can go ahead and keep doing all of that, but at the end of the day, my purpose will prevail.»
That’s why you see all these rappers and artists at the end of their life; they all become Christians. Come on, let’s be honest. Everybody’s VH1 behind the scenes is like, «I’ve been running for God for 39 years, and today I’m a pastor of First Ebenezer Gangster Church.» Why is that? Because at the end of the day, you can do all of this, and it takes from you, but the Lord’s purpose will prevail. Somebody needs to hear that right now. Keep going and chasing all the kitty cat out there; keep going and trying to get everybody to like you, but God says at some point you’re going to get tired, and at some point it won’t work for you no more, and at some point my purpose will prevail. Oh, somebody needs to hear me.
Why are you talking that wrong, Pastor Mike? Because I’m hoping to shake you out of those cycles you’ve been in. It’s time for you to rip the— I need somebody to—if this is your list, it’s time to rip the list. I need somebody to hear me, and I don’t care if it’s in your relationship; I don’t care if it’s in your family. God is saying, «I need you to trust me because I’m God, and at the end of the day my purpose will prevail.» And that’s why we rip up our list. Write this down: you need to rip up your list because a God dream is never created based on your preference. A God dream is created based on your purpose. So when God sits down to make you, He doesn’t say, «Let me see what they want; let me throw in some.» He says, «What have I purposed them for?»
Okay, so if I’ve purposed them to bring my name glory in this area, what is the path that I’m going to take them on, and how am I going to get them there, and what relationships do I need? And this is the thing: God built within all of us. The greatest thing He gave us was choice. And that’s why when we get a plan from God, we still have the choice to be able to obey the plan of God or to go our own way. And that’s why I’m trying to encourage you right now because I wish somebody would have gotten up in front of me when I was a little younger and said, «Mike, rip up the list. You don’t want what’s on that list; you want what God wants for you.» Because in what God wants for you is true fulfillment, and in what God wants for you, you don’t have to strive for it; you can stride into it. And what God has for you, there’s actual satisfaction. A God dream is never created based on your preference; a God dream is created based on your purpose.
And if you want to talk about dreams, there’s no way we can talk about dreams without talking about Joseph. Let’s look at Genesis chapter 37. Because y’all remember Joseph with the coat of many colors? Some of us have missed this story because he had a dream. Or he probably had a list of how he thought his life was going to go, because God gave him this very vivid dream. Look at it: it says Jacob loved Joseph more than any of his other children because Joseph had been born to him in his old age. So one day Jacob had a special gift made for Joseph: it was a Versace jacket, a beautiful robe. But his brothers hated Joseph because their father loved him more than the rest of them. They couldn’t say a kind word to him.
One night, Joseph had a dream, the same way all of us have dreams. One night Joseph had a dream, and when he told his brothers, he said, «We were out in the field tying up bundles of grain, and suddenly a bundle stood up.» I don’t know what this really meant, but it was like, and your bundles all gathered around and bowed low. Y’all dropped it low to my bundle. And his brothers said, «Fool, so you think you gonna be our king? This boy lost his mind. You think we gonna bow to you? Do you actually think you will reign over us?» And they hated him all the more because of the dream and the way he talked about them. See, when I think about Joseph having a dream, he had a dream that he was going to be a king or he was going to be in the palace.
And so I want to show you this; this is like many of our lives. Joseph’s list probably looks something like this: «It’s gonna be a dream that I have, and then I’m gonna get support from my family and my brothers and the people that are around me, and then opportunities are going to open up, and this is how my list is going to go, and then promotion is going to come, and then I’m going to end up in the palace.» But if you read through the next four chapters of Genesis, what happens to Joseph is what happens to many of our lives: we have a list and a preferred way that we would want it to go. We made up for it to go, but then we have our list and then we have real life.
And Joseph’s real life was he had a dream, but then he was betrayed by his brothers, he was sold into slavery, he was thrown into prison, and then he still got to the palace! Hold on, wait, wait, wait, wait! I thought my dream was gonna be something that everything in the dream was gonna be easy and linear and promotion, and up, up, up, up, and then I would reach the palace. But Joseph’s real life didn’t look like his real list, and some of y’all are in here, and you’re mad because your real life doesn’t look like your real list. But I came to encourage you today: you can rip up the list because if God is with you and you are going through something right now, you still can reach your palace! Let me say it a different way because I need to talk to some people who feel like their dream has dropped.
See, the reason we got to rip up our list is because Joseph started out with the dream, and again, then he went and he thought he was going to go to the palace. So, I want you to picture these two extremes, these highs, okay? And when we get these highs in our lives and we think there’s this thing that’s about to happen and everything’s gonna go from glory to glory. But then the dream drops, and Joseph literally goes from the dream to literally being thrown into a pit by his brothers, sold them into slavery and threw him into a pit; in the middle, between the dream and the palace, he experienced betrayal, slavery, and prison. Tesla, Mike, why are you talking to us about ripping up a list and being in the pit? Because this is where many of your relationships are and have been.
I came to encourage you today that just because your relationship is in the pit does not mean that it’s over. Just because you’ve been divorced twice and are now trying to start another list without God, maybe you should rip up your list because God has a plan for you that is bigger than this. What you need to know is that the path to the palace often passes through the pit. I’m preaching up here right now! So, you started off with a dream, and you started off with your list, and you began with the relationship that was supposed to last.
That’s what happened to me and Pastor Natalie; high school sweethearts, we went through ten months of insanity, perversion, cheating, and lying. It took us being with God to deliver us to a place of a palace where we could help other marriages. But we did not get there by taking some smooth route; the bottom dropped out of that thing. When we had nothing else, we had to trust in God. We had to rip up our list. And there are people watching right now—I feel the presence of God—who have been through divorces, infidelity, and heartbreak, who have been hurt, whose kids have walked away, and business partners have taken advantage of you. You feel stuck right now because you went through betrayal, through something that seemed like slavery, and through something that feels like prison. But God says, if you rip up your list, I can use all of that to still deliver you to the palace— to the place where your purpose is fulfilled.
I think some people need to hear this in the room right now. That’s why Psalms 23:4, David writes, «Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death.» See, that pit—put it back on the screen—the pit is a valley. I was doing well, and then it dropped off. But God says that even when you’re in the valley, I’m walking with you. Even when you’re in that low place, I’m with you. You don’t have to fear because I am with you. The truth is, Joseph wouldn’t have picked betrayal. He had to rip up his list because what God would allow him to go through wouldn’t have been something he would choose for his list. None of us would pick betrayal; none of us would pick COVID-19. Did anybody write that down on your year plan this year? Did anybody put that on your dream board?
I want to start off January really strong, and then I want to get in the Word in February, and then I want to meet my man in March, and then I don’t want to see him again until next August. Nobody picked it. But God is using it. He’s using it to develop you; He’s using it to expose what you truly trust. He’s using it. Come on, y’all; somebody needs to put in the comments, «He’s using it. He’s using it. He’s using it.» They wouldn’t have picked it; they wouldn’t have put that on their list. Me and Natalie wouldn’t have put autism for our son on our list. There’s no way I wrote down, «What I want for my son is autism.»
So what happens when you get a dream, and God gives you a son or something, and then the bottom drops out? I didn’t put it on my list; I didn’t want this. But I got it. And what happens when it doesn’t look like what I thought? Many of you—I feel this so strongly—are so mad at God that He can’t even speak to your heart anymore because you are so frustrated over a list you made that did not come to reality. It was fabricated; it was ideal; it was a fantasy. When it didn’t happen, it devastated you so much that now you can’t hear when God is trying to heal your heart and bring people into your life to help you. You’re so jaded, so broken, and so anti. And God’s saying today, I’m begging you— I sent this big, black man, sweaty and all, with his wife on his shirt to beg you to rip up your list right now.
I want you to take everything you’ve put as an erroneous expectation and say, «God, I’m ripping it up. This is no longer what I will hold myself or anybody else to.» Can we rewrite what purpose looks like in my life? Can we rewrite what success looks like in my family? Come on, y’all; can we rewrite? Because I’m tired of being frustrated. I feel like I’m in the pit, and I’ve been comparing myself to everybody else’s Instagram feed. They’re getting married, having babies, and moving into their dream homes. And today, I’ve been frustrated and discontent because I made a list. But by the power of the Holy Spirit, it’s not going to be easy, but today I’m ripping up the list. I feel this thing right now; somebody say, «Rip it up!» Somebody needs to rip up the list.
Joseph now gets sold into slavery in Genesis 37:23, and literally, it says, «So when Joseph arrived, his brothers ripped.» That’s crazy; his brothers ripped off the beautiful robe. This was a metaphorical sign of what was happening to any list he thought he had. The Bible will preach itself; you hear what I’m saying to you? They literally ripped off the path he thought he would take, the thing that represented his favor. It says his brothers ripped off the beautiful robe he was wearing. Then they grabbed him and threw him into the pit. Put it back up there; I liked that because somebody’s seeing it right now. They ripped it off and threw him into the pit. So when the Ishmaelites, who were Midianite traders, came by, Joseph’s brothers—verse 28. It said they pulled him out of the cistern.
Now this messes me up every time; I don’t have enough time to explain this, but he gets thrown in by people, and then a few hours later, those same people come and act like they’re helping him out. What does it feel like to have the people who betrayed you come back and act like all is well? But the only reason they were pulling him up out of the cistern was to sell him out again. They threw him in, pulled him up, and look what it says: «And they sold him for 20 pieces of silver.» The traders took him to Egypt. Look at verse 36: drop down. Meanwhile, the Midianite traders arrived in Egypt, where they sold Joseph to Potiphar, an officer for Pharaoh, the king of Egypt. Potiphar was a captain of the palace guard.
Now, for most of us, this would be it; our attitude would be so bad at this point. «Where is God? He ain’t real. He gave me a dream, and now I’ve been betrayed by the people who are closest to me.» And y’all know that’s where betrayal really happens—the people who are closest to you, the people who know who you really are, will use that against you. That’s where the relationship holes are. See, we’re talking about relationship goals, but a lot of us are dealing with relationship holes. That’s why we keep entering wrong relationships; we expect people who don’t know us to fulfill things that were done to us by people who were supposed to love us. The truth is, the only person that can fix it is not the offender or the person coming in; it’s the God who created you.
So he comes into this point, like, «What in the heck? I was just coming to help my brothers, and now I got sold out and sold into slavery. I got moved from what was comfortable into a foreign land. How is God using this?» And that’s where somebody is right now. But the reason why you want to take your little list of everything that you thought was supposed to happen and start slowly ripping it up is that not all betrayals are bad; some betrayals are a blessing! You missed it! If the betrayal hadn’t happened, Joseph wouldn’t have ended up in Egypt. Let me give it to you in a point: rip up your list because the betrayal wasn’t meant to break you; the betrayal was allowed to take you. It was allowed to take you to your next destination that you would not have gone to had it not involved some hurt.
Some of us are so comfortable. I’m talking to people right now that God has to allow hurt to move you from your home. Some of y’all are so comfortable being in a mediocre relationship that God has to allow their true colors to come out for you to be blasted enough to move out of that situation. God uses the pain of betrayal not as something meant to break you; it’s something meant to take you—take you to the place you wouldn’t go on your own. What would have made Joseph leave his dad, his favor, and go to Egypt? Nothing! He was in a comfortable spot where he was favored. But God said, «Your purpose, the purpose I have for you, is so much bigger than being comfortable in this little space. I want to make you comfortable in a big space.»
Do you want it, even if betrayal is a part of the plan? See, that’s the thing; we don’t want that on our list. We don’t want people walking out on us. We don’t want to be furloughed from our jobs. Do y’all know? I’m just going to go ahead and say it because I know you’re listening. Some of y’all, Corona was the thing God allowed to get you out of that job. I know for some of y’all, this pandemic was allowed to furlough you so you could see your kids again. I know you’ve been providing for them, but you haven’t seen them. You don’t know what stages of life they’re in and what they’re struggling with. And now that you’re back in the house, you see their faces are always down in their phones, and you ask, «What are you looking at?» This is the first time you’ve seen your kids in ten years!
See, what God’s trying to do is think about everything with your purpose in mind, not your preference in mind. Joseph had to go through betrayal because often, the worst relational devastation is many times God’s vehicle of transportation. This is what I’m encouraging you to do. I’ve had a lot of failures. I know it looks like the pastor is winning all the time on Instagram, but your boy has had a lot of failures in my life over the past decade. And what I’ve learned is to always look for God’s favor in the failure. Look for God’s favor! I know it hurts. I know you never thought this would happen. I know this wasn’t part of the plan; this wasn’t part of the dream. This wasn’t on my list, but God says, «I leave hints of my favor in every failure.»
Look, look, look what He did! He left hints of His favor for Joseph in the failure. He’s now sold into slavery in Potiphar’s house. His brothers have sold him out; he ends up in Egypt. And look at what happens in Genesis 39:2. It says, «And the Lord was with Joseph.» What? Hold on! I just got betrayed and put into slavery, and the first thing the Bible records is that God was with him in the midst of the failure. God is with you in the midst of the pain; God is with you. Many of us would rather be in a good situation without God, but I’ll take a bad situation with God any day of the week! Because my Bible says if God is for me, then who can be against me? That’s where some of you need to know that your advantage in the middle of a bad situation is that the reason you need to rip up your list, even though the last relationship didn’t work, is that God is still with you. And when you realize that it’s—watch this—it says, «So he succeeded.»
The Lord was with Joseph, so he succeeded. The Lord was with Joseph, so he succeeded. Put your name in there: «The Lord was with Michael, so he succeeded.» Do it one more time: «The Lord was with [your name], so he succeeded in everything he did.» As he watched—what? You mean I have to serve in a sucky situation? You mean I still have to actually do and be what God requires me to do and be, even when it’s not fair? Joseph was in an unfair situation, and God still required him to do what had been put in him. And some of y’all are in an unfair situation—stuff that you didn’t write on your list. But God said rip the list up because if you would get your eyes on me and serve, even in the sucky situation, it would change the trajectory of everything going on! Look at it; it says, «In everything he did, he was successful because he served in the home of the Egyptian.»
Master Potiphar noticed that the Lord was with Joseph and realized this. There are people watching you in your pit, and they will realize that God is with you even in a bad situation. This pleased Potiphar, so he soon made Joseph his personal attendant. He received an upgrade in the midst of his pit and was put in charge of the entire household and everything Potiphar owned. From the day Joseph was put in charge of the master’s household and property, the Lord began to bless Potiphar’s house for Joseph’s sake. There are situations that are about to be blessed because you decided that in the middle of the pit, when your list got ripped up, you would still serve, still love, still forgive, still show up, and still encourage in the midst of it. God says, «I’ll promote you in the pit.»
He said all his household affairs ran smoothly, and his crops and livestock flourished, so Potiphar gave Joseph complete administrative responsibility. This doesn’t sound like a slave to me; this sounds like a boss. People will label you a slave, yet you are going to walk around with the authority of a boss. People will say that you’re not enough, but you will have the pen that strokes checks. They might say you’re too young, but God will say, «I put my hand on you.» So whatever pit you’re in, I feel this right now; this is why you need to rip up your list. You can’t be stuck on what you thought it would be; you have to sell out to what God is saying it is. It says Potiphar gave Joseph complete administrative responsibility over everything he owned. With Joseph there, he didn’t worry about a thing except whether he was going to eat Chick-fil-A or Popeyes.
The reason you have to rip up your list is that faithfully serving in a season always produces success. I’ll say it again: faithfully serving in a season, even if it doesn’t look like what was on your list. «Well, I thought I would have kids by now, but I’m still single.» Stop wishing you were somewhere else and faithfully serve this season; rip up your list. «Well, I thought I would have a business and be running things, but I’m still mopping floors for somebody.» It doesn’t feel like God is with you. What I’m telling you is to forget where you thought you would be and faithfully serve this season; rip up your list. This is a prophetic sign right now: someone needs to grab some paper at home and write your list. You can be specific, but what you need is to faithfully serve the season you’re in. If you’re in a season of singleness, faithfully serve that. If you’re in a season of infertility, faithfully serve there. If you’re in a difficult marriage, faithfully serve this season because God says if you rip up your list and stop comparing what is to what you wish it would be, He said, «I can bring success to you in that very season.»
I am preaching up here! That’s why you have to know that the relationship goal is not a person; it’s God. That has to be your first relationship goal. Joseph goes through this and serves his season. I’ll have to do a part two to this. Is it okay if I do a part two? Put «part two» in the comments because I feel this so strongly. We’ll do a part two, but I need to give you a couple more points. If you’re okay, give me a shoutout: «Okay, Pastor!» I’m seeing it now in the comments. Joseph begins to serve his season, and that’s so important for someone right now. Even college graduates, you’re trying to figure out what you’re going to do, and God says, «Serve this season.» There are people now who have lost a loved one, and all their focus is on grieving and hurting. There is a time and a season for that, but the enemy wants to keep you trapped in this grief because that wasn’t on your list.
«I never thought I would lose my father. I never thought I would lose granny. I never thought I would lose my big mama.» I never thought this would happen, and now I’m in a pit. That wasn’t on your list; you wouldn’t have chosen that. But God is encouraging you: «I factored in everything that would look like failure; I saw it when I called you. That’s why I gave you the dream in the first place.» You know some nights, I bet when Joseph was in slavery, the only thing he could think about was the dream he had. God gave him a dream that showed him himself in a place that doesn’t look relationally like where he is right now, and God is saying, «I know you’re frustrated because you set erroneous expectations that I wasn’t in, and your list has been interrupted.» But remember, «I’m not committed to your desires; I’m committed to your destiny.» That’s what God wants someone to hear right now.
Joseph goes through many more things, and I’ll tell you about one more today. Joseph is doing his thing, serving his season, and then out of the blue—if I were Joseph and thought I’d be a slave, now I’m a boss trying to keep everything cool, staying out of the way—and then he catches a case with a cougar. You can read the Bible; it’s better than Maury Povich or Netflix. He catches a case with the cougar. I’ll prove it to you because some of y’all might think that’s not true. Yes, it is; look at it in Genesis 39:6. Joseph was very handsome and well-built, just like your boy. Potiphar’s wife soon began to look at him lustfully. «Come and sleep with me, son.» That would be disgusting if someone said, «Sleep with me, son;» it’s horrible! She demanded, but Joseph refused to look.
Now, I want you to see his commitment. She said, «Sleep with me,» and he said, «I’m not even looking.» So many people are trying to figure out where the line of sin is, and God says, «I need you to rip up that list too.» I want you to be above reproach. She says sleep with me; he’s not standing there like, «Are you serious? What do you mean?» Many of us would be sitting up in the room like, «Hold on. I don’t know, is it comfortable laying in the bed next door?» She demanded he sleep with her and he didn’t even look at her. Some of the protection and parameters you need for your relationship are going to be extreme. People are going to say some of you need to cut off the DMs. Some of you need to change cell phone numbers. Some of you need to get off websites or have software that lets your spouse know what you’re looking at. «It doesn’t take all that.» Well then, you might fall into the trap of the cougar, and that cougar may not be an actual woman or person; it may be a trap the enemy set for you.
The enemy had set this trap for Joseph, and look what happened. Joseph didn’t even look at her. He said, «My master trusts me with everything in this entire household. I’m not messing that up for you. No one here has more authority than I do. He has held back nothing from me except you. How could I do such a wicked thing? It would be a great sin—not against the master but against God.» See, many times we don’t do things because of how it would make a person feel, and God says, «How about how I feel?»
Every time you’re sleeping with someone because they want it, you’re thinking about how bad they would feel after. But it makes me feel horrible when I saved you out of that last relationship, and I brought grace to your life. I’m just asking: Am I considered in the situation? She kept pursuing Joseph day after day, but he refused to sleep with her and kept out of her way as much as possible. Then, one day, she lies on him. She catches him when nobody’s around. She rips off his robe—a theme of ripping keeps coming up. She rips off his robe, and he runs out. Because he thought he would be there forever, what happens when God redeems your situation and puts you in a better place? But this isn’t the end of the ripping.
What happens when he thought he had it made? God says, «Now I’ve got to use this cougar to get you where I need you to be.» She lies, «Oh my God, Joseph tried to rape me!» Joseph was running back like, «I know she did!» I just feel like I’m in a movie in my mind. When Potiphar found out, he threw Joseph in prison. Now what happens when I made a list for my life, and every step of the way, God says he’s with me? I get betrayed by my brothers, thrown into slavery, lied on while enslaved, and put in prison. My whole list has been ripped up, and that’s how many of you feel relationally right now.
But look what our loving God does: He takes Joseph’s prison and starts him on the trajectory for the place he was always supposed to be. He takes this man from a foreign land, betrayed by his brothers, to Egypt, in a guard’s house that works for the palace, then throws him into the palace’s prison because that’s where he needed to be to eventually become the second most powerful person in all of Egypt. What are you saying to us, Pastor Mike? The reason you need to rip up your list is that prisons can become platforms. Joseph went from a prison to a platform because he faithfully served no matter what season he was in. He didn’t get mad and say, «I lost my job, and they left me for someone else, and I can’t stand this!» He didn’t pout and blame God; he said, «If I’m here, there must be some reason and something you’re doing.»
I think the song says, «Even when I don’t see it, you’re working. Even when I don’t feel it, you’re working. You never stop working.» I came to encourage someone who’s in a relational pit or is frustrated about expectations and whose list isn’t happening right for you today. I ask you: rip up the list. The presence of God is saying, «I can take you from the pit to the palace if you would trust me.» Look at it in Genesis 39:21. Watch what it says again: he’s in prison, but the Lord was with Joseph. He was with him in prison and showed him His faithful love. Oh, I love God! The Lord made Joseph a favorite with the prison warden. He had favor everywhere he went. Before long, the warden put Joseph in charge of all the other prisoners and over everything that happened in the prison.
I’m telling you, when the favor of God is on your life, nothing can stop it. Betrayal can’t stop it; a bad relationship can’t stop it; being locked up can’t stop it. It said in verse 23, «The warden had no more worries because Joseph took care of everything. The Lord was with him and caused everything he did to succeed.» The reason I’m asking everyone to rip up your list is that God’s plan for your life from the very beginning is for you to succeed. His path will never look like your path. The people there won’t look like the people you would choose. Natalie did not choose me, but she needed me. I did not choose Natalie, but I needed Natalie. My desires and her desires became God’s desires.
Next week, I’m going to try to find a prophecy we received from Prophetess Pam Venette when we were in the middle of all our struggles. We had a word from God—not a list we made up—but divine inspiration from God that our marriage would be glorious, that we would go through a storm, and that God would bring us out. We held on to that word; that was the only word on His list. It wasn’t our list; it was His list. And all I’m asking you to do in this place—I feel the presence of God coming into your house right now—is to rip up your list and let God rewrite it. If you have a piece of paper around you right now, I want you to get it out. All week, I need you to get on social media and share your list.
If you want to be specific and name people, do it! Some of you have been naming people—put Jerome, Tyrese, etc., their names out there. Some of you need to put down success and business partnerships. We’ve been building lists that had God nowhere around, and we’ve been frustrated, having a house built. Maybe God said, «I’m going to have somebody give you a house. I’m saving you for something; I’m not keeping you from something.»
I’m saving you for something, but if you go off of your list, you’ll miss the blessings that I have for you: the person you’re supposed to be in relationship, the way you’re supposed to live, and the purpose that I’ve called you to. It’s gonna happen. You’re gonna make it to the palace. Next week, I’m gonna talk about all the things that happen because I feel the presence of God. Somebody’s about to get a playbook to win in relationships. But if we’re gonna go off the principles of God, the second thing we have to do is rip up our list.
On the count of three, if you’ve got paper everywhere, I want you to rip up your list, and I believe that the presence of God is gonna come in this prophetic sign right now. Come on, get you a list, get you a piece of a bill that you already paid. Come on, we’re gonna rip that up. Somebody get something out of a newspaper; somebody get a magazine, and prophetically sit here in this moment. I want you to imagine everything that you built without God, everything that you wrote down, that you said in your heart, that you’ve confessed out of your mouth. I want you to see this, and on the count of three, I want you to rip that thing up.
One: We are making a decision to never live without God writing our list. Two: Today we stop being frustrated over what has not happened, and we get in line with what God wants to happen. Three: Come on, rip the list. I feel the presence of God in this place. I need you to be joyful. Come on, somebody else got another piece of paper—rip the list. I feel the presence of God. This is the time where we’ve ripped the list [Music], and we let God know that from now on, I’ll let you rewrite it. Come on, hands lifted all over this place. People are about to find joy again.
I know you thought the date that you were gonna get married was this, but God said, «I’ve got you. You’re still gonna get to the promised land. You’re gonna have a glorious marriage; you’re gonna be okay.» He said, «But rip the list right now.» With the list, with the list… I feel the presence of God—rip the list.
Father, I pray for every person with hands lifted all over the world. I pray for every person that’s watching this live and on rebroadcast. Your Holy Spirit is right there with us, and Father, I thank you for those who can’t see anything right now because of so much hurt. I thank you, by your Spirit, that you’re revealing to them the list that they’ve made, the things that they have said they want and have to have, and all this other stuff, Father God. I thank you right now, by the presence that is in this moment, that you are allowing them to see, and they are ripping up their list.
God, I declare that we are coming into a place where we’re going to spend time with you and let you give us a dream. Father God, I thank you that your dream—no matter if it goes to a pit—is with us in that, and I thank you that we will have the faith to believe that the palace is coming. The palace is coming for our marriage. The palace is coming for our purpose. The palace is coming for our children. The palace is coming for our relationships. We declare it; we believe it, and we, more than anything, trust you, God, because you have a plan for us that is bigger than anything we’ve ever written down or said.
God, I thank you that all week, people all over the world are going to be ripping up their lists and coming back to you and saying, «Rewrite it! Rewrite it! Tell me what I need to do, show me what I need to say, show me what I need to believe for.» And I thank you, Father God, that we will win in relationships because we’re getting a new relationship goal. Father, give us aim. We trust you; we believe you, and we thank you in Jesus' name.
God, I declare that we are coming into a place where we’re going to spend time with you and let you give us a dream. Father God, I thank you that your dream—no matter if it goes to a pit—is with us in that, and I thank you that we will have the faith to believe that the palace is coming. The palace is coming for our marriage. The palace is coming for our purpose. The palace is coming for our children. The palace is coming for our relationships. We declare it; we believe it, and we, more than anything, trust you, God, because you have a plan for us that is bigger than anything we’ve ever written down or said.
God, I thank you that all week, people all over the world are going to be ripping up their lists and coming back to you and saying, «Rewrite it! Rewrite it! Tell me what I need to do, show me what I need to say, show me what I need to believe for.» And I thank you, Father God, that we will win in relationships because we’re getting a new relationship goal. Father, give us aim. We trust you; we believe you, and we thank you in Jesus' name.
We agree in that same attitude right now. If you’re here and you’ve never accepted Jesus Christ as your personal Lord and Savior, and you thought on your list that you were your own god, you thought you could do it yourself, and the truth is you have a lot of relational holes that only God can fill. Today, I don’t care who’s around you, who’s watching with you, what you’re smoking or drinking; I don’t care who you slept with last night. I don’t care about what business deal you made or how many zeros you have in the bank. The number one relationship goal you need is a relationship with Jesus Christ.
And today, if you thought you were gonna do it any way without him, I want you to rip up your list and accept Jesus Christ as your personal Lord and Savior. Transformation Church is a place that tells you all of our lists have been messed up by the love of Jesus. See, because I was someone who was addicted to pornography. I was a liar; I was a manipulator. I cheated, and I did things I never thought I’d do. And God says when you rip up your list and give me control of your life, I can take everything that looks like a mess and turn it into a message, and today that’s what God wants to do with your life.
Some people, there are tears flowing right now; other people, your heart is beating fast. This is your moment. Today is the day of salvation, and I want you to make this decision right now. There are people praying for you all over the world right now, and if that’s you, on the count of three, I want you to lift your hands. I don’t want you to care about what anybody would say about you, and I don’t want you to care about cleaning up and getting things right. God tells us if we give him our heart, he’ll help us change our habits.
Right now: One, this is the best decision you’ve ever made. Two, God is proud of you, and so are we. Three, hands going up all over the world. Come on, hands going up. We’re so proud of you. Listen, you can put your hand down right now; I’m about to pray for you because you said, «Pastor, include me in that prayer.» At Transformation Church, we’re a family; nobody prays alone. So I want everybody watching this to pray this out loud with me. Everybody say:
God, thank you for sending Jesus just for me. Today, I rip up my list, and I ask you to be my Lord and Savior. I believe you lived and died just for me. Take over, change me, renew me, transform me. I’m yours. In Jesus' name, amen.