Michael Todd - WARNING: Read The Manual Before You Touch The Product
I’m ready if you’re ready for «Relationship Goals: Reloaded.» I need you to let me know by saying, «I’m ready.» Hey! Well, today we are starting a brand new series called «Relationship Goals: Reloaded,» and the reason I’m so excited about this is that the whole concept of relationship goals is really less calculated than everyone might think. This whole thing, that nine hundred and I believe it was—I wrote it down—nine hundred and ninety-three days ago, I spoke the original message for «Relationship Goals.»
When I delivered that message on August 7, 2017, just a few months later, this series went viral. People started watching it—people who believed in God, people who didn’t believe in God, people who were in relationships, people who were divorced, people who were stalkers, and people in «situationships.» You know what those are! People sliding into DMs and those who had lost their husbands and wives. This series began to go viral, and people started sharing it. We didn’t plan for it, but for some reason, God wanted to get this message out. This was something He wanted to encourage His people with, and I want to set a precedent as we start this message: I never expect God to do the same thing the same way again because He is a sovereign God.
So, let me tell you, I’m not preaching today for this message to go viral; that doesn’t matter to me. My assignment is for whoever is watching this right now, for you, to give you everything that God is putting in me for you. So if nobody else sees it except the people on this stream right now, I know that this is a word from God. I feel it already, and this is going to help you win in relationships. They tell me from the statistics that nineteen point seven million people have watched «Relationship Goals» on YouTube, but I don’t care that that many people watched it. I would just like nineteen hundred people to apply the wisdom and knowledge that comes out of these messages because if only 1,900 people apply and start aiming at the goal that God has for us in relationships, it means families will get better. It means children will be raised in an environment where they have a clear understanding of God’s Word on relationships. It means that you will be better.
So I just want to make that clear as we start. I don’t know how long this series is going to be; it’s supposed to be four weeks right now, but after this message, I think it’s too short. We might be in this for a little while because I want you to win in relationships. If you want to win in relationships, just say that out loud. Say, «I want to win in relationships.» Come on, put it in the chat: «I want to win in relationships.» That’s why I believe that I am here. Many of you know this; Charles said it earlier, but I have to make an announcement to everybody in Transformation Nation: your boy is officially an author now! Now, why this is so amazing, as my wife sits in the front row, is because she knows that I didn’t even like to read until about six years ago.
The fact that I’m an author, and I didn’t even like to read, means that God has a funny sense of humor, that He’ll use the foolish things to confound the wise. So, in my first copy of «Relationship Goals,» I want to thank you all so much for your support. Transformation Nation, y’all have stepped up; you’ve pre-ordered, and you’ve done so much. The book comes out this Tuesday, and we’re going to turn up this Wednesday! I’m going to tell you all about it; we’ve got stuff coming together, but it’s going to be fun. Thank you for supporting this because it’s not just a book; it’s a manual. This is something that I want to help you win in relationships. I wrote this first one to my wife. It says, «This is the first official copy of my first ever book, and there’s only one person in the world who deserves it. You are my relationship goals. Thank you for believing in me, Natalie.»
I want to give this to my wife. Here you go, baby. Come and just get it real quick. I just want you to know in front of everybody. See, look at her; she’s covering herself. She’s looking all hood right now because nobody is here, but I love you too! Today, I was going to preach off what I wrote in the book, and then God said, «Uh, I’ve got more for you.» I said, «Hold on.» He said, «You called the series 'Relationship Goals: Reloaded, '» and I don’t know about you, but if you’ve ever had a gun before and unloaded all of the bullets, they say «reload,» and there’s a new cartridge that comes in. You have to put that thing in there, and they are brand new bullets. So I’m telling you right now, I hope you’re ready because these are all brand new bullets. The eight parts of the other series that are in the book are to help you, but God has given me more stuff that we’re going to highlight. These are brand new bullets, and I’m ready to get into it right now.
See, because when this thing happened, I didn’t know that people were struggling so much in relationships, but I was seeing the results of it. I was seeing how people were broken; I was seeing how I was broken. The reason that I wrote this book is that I did not have a manual. I had great Christian parents and grew up in a church environment, but nobody actually gave me plays on how to win in relationships. The only instruction that I got, and maybe you received the same one, is don’t have sex before you get married. Well, what happens when you fail that test, and fail it again, and fail it again? Thank you for grace, because the truth is so many people are out here struggling in relationships, and they do not know what God says about them.
There is power in the spoken word, but there is longevity in the written word. I must say that again because somebody missed it. There is power in the spoken word—what I’m doing right now; there’s power in it—but there is longevity in the written word. When the founding fathers of the United States of America wanted to set principles that would guide us even after they were gone, they didn’t just say it to each other; they wrote it down, and it became the Constitution. When Martin Luther King was inspired by the injustices happening all around him, he didn’t just say it to his friends; he wrote it down, and that became famous speeches like «I Have a Dream.» Their longevity will outlive all of us. When God wanted to get a message to all of creation, He didn’t just say it to a couple of people; He wrote it down, divinely inspired through men, with every word being just where it needs to be so that it could get to us.
Now it has longevity and we read it as the Bible. So why «Relationship Goals»? The book is because my prayer is this is not for likes; it’s for longevity. My prayer is that when my daughter needs instruction on relationship goals, and her daughter needs instruction on relationship goals, maybe we would have put something in the earth that will give someone what I didn’t have. That’s why I want you to be a part of this movement. I want you to get this to as many people as you can. It is not an age thing. There are people who are 75 years old who have read this book and reviewed it, saying it’s changing their view on relationships for the latter half of their lives. Do not miss your blessing because you think you’ve already arrived; all of us can do better in relationships.
Today we’re about to walk through this thing because I believe God gives principles in His Word for us to live by. Everybody say «principles.» Say it again—"principles.» I think that if we could ever start living by the principles of God, we would avoid a lot of the problems in life. I must say it again: if we could ever start living by the principles of God, we would avoid a lot of problems in life. Write down my first point right now: the more principles you learn from the Word of God, the less you pray about what to do. I’m going to say it again because some of you are like, «What did he just say?» He said you don’t have to pray that much! Listen to what I just said: the more principles you learn from the Word of God, the less you have to pray about what to do.
If you have a car made by a manufacturer, whatever your car is—a Kia, a Honda, a Ford—most of us have never read the manual. Can we be honest? If you have read the manual to your car, lift your hands right now. And if you haven’t, put your hands down. Tremaine, you know you didn’t read the manual! Okay, most of us never read the manual. So if something goes wrong with our vehicle, most of us panic. Most of us, if we start the car and hear a noise, and then it slows down and the acceleration decreases, we pull over to the side and start panicking, not knowing what’s going to happen. Usually, we call a mechanic because the panic leads to problems. When we start panicking, we then find problems and subsequently seek a mechanic. When the mechanic arrives, he comes in; he doesn’t seem tense, worried, or frustrated. Nothing. He starts the car, listens to what’s happening, then opens the hood. He bypasses all the other components and goes straight to the problem. He is able to fix exactly what’s wrong with the situation because he understands the principles of a car.
Okay, y’all are going to get this in a second. You pay him three hundred and fifty dollars. Why? Because you did not know how to fix it yourself. You could have saved time and money and not had to pay for it if you understood the principles I’m talking about regarding your relationships, and you don’t even know it. You are paying so much in time, energy, hurt, and frustration, and you’re losing purpose and wasting your life because you’re paying for something that you do not understand. I have already preached this, and many of you are depleted and, I daresay, overdrawn in your account because you’re paying for your lack of understanding. When I think about this, you need to understand this principle: principles simplify life.
When you understand the principles of a thing, life becomes simple. I want you to write that down: principles simplify life. I can prove it to you. The car that most of us drive works on the principle of gasoline. You know how to put gas in your car; you know that principle. So when your car goes on «E,» nobody prays about that because they know the principle. They don’t say, «Oh God, I thank You right now that You would send a ram in the bush. God, I thank You that You would make a way for the petrol to get into my tank. God, I need to call a friend. Holy Spirit, who should I call? Diane! Diane, I need you to touch and agree with me because right now I’m out of gas, and I know that God can make a way when there is no way. Lord, would You please bring a quick trip?»
You don’t do that because you understand the principle of gasoline. You don’t have to pray about what you understand. What ends up happening is that if you run out of gas, you will find the nearest gas station, put gas in the car, and pump it because you understand how the principle of a car is supposed to function. That’s how it’s supposed to be for all your relationships. You’re supposed to understand the principles of relationships so you don’t have to pray about what you already know.
See how quiet it is? Because the truth is, most of us have never read the manual about relationships. Most of us have never been taught the principles. Our parents didn’t know how to do it, so they didn’t teach us about it. Pop culture acts like they know how to do it, so they’re the only ones stepping up and saying, «This is how it’s supposed to be,» but they didn’t create it. It’s one of those things where they’re telling you how it’s supposed to work, but they have no guarantees in their lives. You ever got a product that wasn’t made by the manufacturer? You get no guarantees with it. That’s what’s happening: a lot of our relationships are broken because we’re getting taught by people who didn’t create them. When you didn’t create a thing, you can’t guarantee it.
So what I’m trying to tell you right now is that whatever happens in your relationship, you are supposed to know exactly what to do, know what’s wrong with it, and know how to fix it. But the reason we can’t is that we haven’t read the manual. I feel like a teacher today, and I really want to take you through the word and build the value of why God is supposed to be the one to define our relationships, and why our relationship with Him is our ultimate relationship goal. Because out of that relationship, all of our other relationships can be successful.
If I have a relationship vertically with Him, then everything I do down here will be able to succeed. But what we’ve been trying to do is work on relationships down here and ask Him to bless them when He wasn’t the first relationship goal for us. That’s why I want to give you this point: principles protect life. So, principles simplify life, but they also protect life, and when you violate a principle, they can destroy you. I’ll say it a different way: when you violate a principle, you violate yourself.
Okay, I’m using this car analogy a lot because I think it’s easy for everybody to understand: when you violate the speed limit, you violate that principle, and then you get pulled over. You have to pay for the ticket. You didn’t violate the police officer; you didn’t take anything from him. What you did was take something from yourself. And that’s what happens when we violate the principles of God, whether it’s having sex outside of marriage. That doesn’t violate anybody except you; now you have a soul tie attached to somebody who was never meant to experience all your glory. They weren’t ever supposed to see that level of vulnerability from you. But when you violate the principle, for the rest of your life, every time you see that person in a room, you remember that moment. You know there are some pictures floating around with you. You know there are a couple of messages that you sent. And God is saying, «Don’t violate My principles because when you violate My principles, no matter how good it feels in the moment, you’re violating yourself.»
Look, y’all need some scripture because some of you are like, «What is he doing? Why is he on a rampage?» I told you I was waiting long enough. Psalms 119, verses 1 to 4, say, «Blessed are those whose ways are blameless, who walk according to the law of the Lord. Blessed are those who keep his statutes and seek Him with all their heart. They do no wrong but follow His ways. You have laid down your precepts that are to be fully obeyed.» There’s a level of life that you can live where you do nothing wrong when you obey the instructions of the One who made life. Let me say it again: there’s a way to do no wrong in relationships when you obey the manual, the law, the precepts, the ways that God has set up for us. That’s why so many broken relationships surround us: because we keep ignoring the precepts, the laws, and the instructions that God is trying to give us.
Let me put it another way: the principles He tries to set up for us in relationships. That’s why we spend most of our relational lives crossing lines, saying things we weren’t supposed to say, and then getting mad at our business partners. We do this dance because we never listen to the precepts, the laws, and the statutes of God and fully obey them. That’s why the word «principle» is so important. I started to study it because when we talk about relationship goals, God is the originator or the manufacturer of relationships, and I’m trying to drive that point home because the next weeks won’t be as powerful if you don’t get this.
That word «principle» has a root word of «prince,» and the word «prince» means «first.» Principle means «first law» or «first rule.» So let me give you a long definition of principle: it’s the first foundational, original law established by which a creature or created thing is designed to function or be regulated. Let me remix that definition: a principle is the first law laid down by the manufacturer. This is so important because if you understand that marriage was not made by the government, it was made by God. He put down the law; He laid out the principles that it was supposed to be governed by. Parenting was not just a good idea; He told us that He would teach us how to parent. Running a business isn’t just a good idea. God says, «I want to show you how to do this thing, where you can be successful.»
Let me say something to you about a principle. Write this point down: anything that is not a principle is an opinion. Now, with social media, it’s so crazy because you can post something, gather a lot of followers, and act like it’s a principle when it’s just your opinion because you weren’t the first one to establish that law. My Bible says that in the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. He was the one who established it in the beginning—He spoke a word into it, and the whole galaxies are still standing in place. In the beginning, there was relationship before anybody else. I don’t have the time to explain it, but it was God the Father, God the Son, and God the Holy Spirit, and they were in relationship—three personalities in one. They were already doing it before He said, «Let us make man in our image,» both male and female. Who knows the blueprint on relationships? God does.
Until we understand that the principle of God knowing is not an opinion, we will allow pop culture to define it. We will allow our families to define it or let things like, «My mom and them said…» dictate our understanding of relationships. Well, how good is their relationship? All these blogs can only give opinions on principles, and I know some of y’all are going to be mad. Some of you are about to click off right now, but you can keep having that unsuitable relationship you’ve been having, or you can learn the principles of God. You can allow me to show them to you. Because until I learned this, I was aiming at all the wrong things. Until I learned this, I was going to pornography for validation. Before I learned this, I was hurting people left and right and thinking that if I just repented, maybe somehow it would change my actions. No, it just put me in a better feeling to do it again.
What I’m telling you is that the things you’re doing in your relationships, because some of you are sneaking and DMing while having a wife, and there are people right now searching for validation from sources that can never give it to you. There are people who have been divorced two or three times, and you’re still looking for something that only God can give. There are other people who keep going from business partner to business partner. It’s not them, baby; it’s you. There’s something that God wants to upgrade in you. There’s some principle He wants to teach you. There’s something that He wants to do in you.
Some of you are saying, «Well, nobody knows that,» but God sees who you really are, even if you don’t post anything or talk about your relationships. Some of you think, «I’m real private. I don’t let anybody know what’s going on.» But it’s still broken even if we don’t see it. If you don’t allow God to set the principle for your relationships, and you let your opinion die and submit to the One who created it, you will always end up without the results that you’re actually looking for. Well, I’m preaching better than y’all are talking to me or commenting!
Okay, so that’s why the principle is first. Everybody needs to remember that principle is first. When a king and a queen have a child, what do they call it? A prince or princess, because they are the first ones in line for the throne. Can I blow your mind real quick? Satan is called the Prince of Darkness because darkness, watch this, in Hebrew means ignorance. So he is the first one to rule by ignorance. The reason why you have to learn the principles of God is that when you don’t know the principles of God about relationships, when you don’t know the principles of God about singleness, when you don’t know the principles of God about your marriage, you are ignorant.
Satan’s name is the Prince of Ignorance. That means in the area of your life where you are ignorant, Satan has the most rulership over you. Oh, that’s good! The area of your life where you are most ignorant, Satan has the most rulership over you. That’s why it seems like you can get it right in your business, but every time it comes to relationships, you’re messed up, crying, and just confused. It’s because you haven’t learned anything. You haven’t gone back to the principles of God. You are ignorant; you are in the dark about relationships, and that has been the enemy’s plan for generation after generation.
You don’t know if your daddy is really your daddy; you don’t know if your uncle is actually your brother because there’s so much darkness, so much confusion around relationships that we just keep it in the dark, and the enemy is able to win there because we are ignorant of God’s principles about relationships. That’s why we have to learn; that’s why we have to study. That’s why I’ve dedicated myself over the past six or seven years to becoming a scholar. I’ve got to read more. And let me tell you this: I hated reading. I did not like going through and seeing a bunch of words. I mean, let me be honest: I’m one of those picture guys. I need a picture somewhere that’s creative and takes up at least three-quarters of the paper. Do I have any?
Picture people in the house today, but what I understand is this principle of ignorance. It made me realize that no matter if I don’t like it, or if I don’t gain more knowledge in this area, or if I don’t understand how to be a better husband, or if I don’t work on my craft of speaking, or learn how to be a better CEO and manage my personal finances, the enemy still holds me where I lack knowledge. Some of you, your relationships have been hindered by the enemy because of our ignorance regarding the principles of God. But today, I believe by the spirit of faith, somebody through this series, through the book, through the Bible, is going to gain knowledge. Somebody say «knowledge.» Will somebody say «knowledge»? Put it in the chat!
And guess what? I found that the Hebrew word for ignorance is «darkness,» but the word for knowledge in Hebrew means «light.» So wherever there is darkness, at the moment knowledge enters, light shines. Where it is dark in relationships and you don’t understand the principle, or where it is dark in business and you don’t grasp the principle, or where it is dark in your family and they don’t understand the principle—if you would just apply knowledge, light would come on. Wherever light is, darkness cannot stay. Can I promise you that? This is why Jesus, in John 8:12, says, «I am the light of the world.» He is the knowledge you need. If you follow me, you won’t have to walk in darkness or ignorance. It is biblical preaching because you will have the light—the knowledge that leads to life.
The light—the knowledge that leads to life—what God wants to give you through this Relationship Goals series is knowledge that leads to the life you want to live, that leads to hashtag relationship goals, that leads to a successful business, that leads to the best life God wants you to have. But you cannot have God’s best in the dark. I need to hear you! Every secret, every lie—I think it was the rapper T.I. who said, «Bring 'em out, bring 'em out.» I think that’s who said it! I need you to bring it out because God says what is done in the dark must come to light.
This series is about to expose some things; it is about to bring you to a realization that it doesn’t even make sense for you to live in this ignorance any longer. I believe that God is coming to shed light. Somebody shout at me—light! I need to see some light bulbs in the chat right now! I need to see some beams going off right now! God is coming to give you—everybody shout at me—light! He said He’s the light of the world. But look what Matthew 5:14 says: He said, «Don’t just be excited that Jesus is the light of the world.» He takes it a step further and says, «And you were made in my image, so you are the light of the world—like a city on a hilltop that cannot be hidden.» I just hear Kanye’s «Flashing Lights» in the background right now!
God said He wants you to be so knowledgeable about the principles of relationships according to the Word of God that when you walk into a room and you encounter a counterfeit talking ignorance, you step in there and say, «The light is here!» You step in there and say, «You can’t fool me with that nonsense!» You step in there and declare, «I’m more valuable than that!» Baby, the light has shown up! Somebody needs to say, «I hate ignorance.» Yeah, say it! Say, «I hate ignorance!» Because I’m telling you that’s where the enemy has been able to grip you. You don’t want to read anything about budgeting? That’s where the enemy gets to play with you—no money. You don’t want to read anything about forgiveness?
That’s where the enemy controls your heart. That’s why we had that moment at the beginning! I was trying to shed some light on you! You can’t receive the full word of what God wants to do in your life if you’re holding on to hard ground. We need light; we need knowledge. And that’s why we’re talking about this right now. Psalms 119—I love it! My passion is to destroy ignorance. I’m sweating through everything right now because I’m in my purpose. I feel like the reason I was created was to destroy your darkness. That’s why you tune in here every Sunday. That’s why even if you don’t understand all of the references, something keeps bringing you back. Because this is the first time all week that some of you have had light in your life. You’ve been listening to the news. You’ve been checking your bank account every hour. You’ve been looking at the death toll.
And God says, «Hold on! Hold on! Hold on! Come back to me; I’m the light of the world!» If you could get around some other people that have light, I dare us to believe that in the middle of the pandemic, we can write this whole thing off! Somebody needs to say, «Light it up!» Well, some of us need to stop speaking down, stop speaking the facts, and we need to speak by faith, and we need to light it up! But you can only light up a place where you have knowledge. And in the area of relationships, we’ve been ignorant—and I hate ignorance! That’s why Psalms 119 has guarded my mind; it’s been a playbook for me. It literally says, «The law of the Lord, the statutes of the Lord, the ways of the Lord, the precepts of the Lord, the decrees of the Lord, the commandments of the Lord, the word of the Lord"—all of these things represent principles. He literally lists all of these in one chapter. He says they may not get it when I say «the law of the Lord» because that’s a principle, so let’s say «the statutes of the Lord"—that’s a principle.
Let’s say «the ways of the Lord"—that’s a principle or an attitude. The precepts are also principles. He keeps listing different forms in one chapter because all he’s saying is, «If you follow my principles, I can give you a successful life in every area of your life.» And when it comes to relationship goals, we’ve been aiming at the wrong thing. God wants to give us His principles—the first intentions He had for marriage, the first intentions He had for relationships. That’s why I’m telling you that when we apply the principles of God, we’re able to live the life He created us for. That’s why the Ten Commandments—those are principles that we are supposed to live our lives by. The Bible is a simple book of principles.
If you follow the principles, you will be successful, but if you violate them, you violate yourself. Look what Proverbs 14:12 says. Some of you are on the verge of clicking off! «I didn’t sign up for all of this!» Baby, if you want your relationships to work, you have to follow the principles of the manufacturer. And I know because of culture, reality TV–I was about to name names, but let’s just say people have taught you what you think is right. You think you’ve watched enough Bachelor to know what’s right and wrong. Oh, I’m telling you, you’ve seen enough «Real Love in Atlanta» to understand what’s wrong and all this other stuff.
Look what Proverbs 14:12 says: «There is a path before each person that seems right, but its end is in death.» But look what Proverbs 16:7 says: «When people’s lives please the Lord, when they follow His statutes, His principles, even their enemies are at peace with them.» Some of the peace you need is found in the principles you uphold. Some of you have been praying for peace but have not had peace because you lack principles. You let anyone into your life because you have no standard, no principle. Then they break you, and you ask God to heal you, and He says, «If you could just get a principle, I’d give you peace.» He says even your enemies have to be okay with you when you live by the principles of God. Oh, I’m too hyped up here by myself!
So I want to give you the keys—I found them! I found the keys to the principles of God, and I need everybody to write this down. These are the principles of the Creator. We’re not going to look at culture right now; we’re going to look at the principles of the Creator. And these are the things you need in your life if you’re going to follow God’s principles: you need knowledge, you need understanding, you must be obedient, and you need application. Let me say it again: knowledge—you need to have the light come on. You need more knowledge in an area. You need understanding. That’s why the Bible says, «In all your getting, get understanding.» I don’t know where some of you are getting during Corona.
Some of you are getting fat during Corona, some are getting weaves during Covid, some of you are getting upset during Corona, and some of you are getting peeved during Corona. But what you need to get is understanding. So I get knowledge, and in all your getting, you get understanding. And then you become obedient. This is where it breaks down for most people. When God tells us to do something a certain way, we say, «Well, I don’t think that’s how it should be.» Cool, but many of us have knowledge and understanding, yet we stop at obedience. We think we know better how to use the product we didn’t make; we think because we felt something, we should disregard the principles of God to satisfy our feelings. But knowledge leads to understanding, understanding leads to obedience, and obedience leads to application.
When you achieve this, you will find success in your relationships. The ignorance of these principles is honestly a tragedy; that’s why God sent Jesus. I need everybody to see this: God sent Jesus. Why? Because Jesus is called the Word. So when we lacked instruction, He sent the Word. When we needed principles, He sent His Word. Let me prove it to you—give me the Bible to pass the mic! Okay, Hebrews 1:1 literally has the title of my Bible: «God’s Final Word: His Son Jesus.» It says, «In the past God spoke to our ancestors through the prophets at many times, in various ways. But in these last days (that’s where we’re living right now) He has spoken to us by His Son, Jesus, whom He appointed heir of all things, and through whom He made the universe.»
So everything you see, He made. And the Son is the radiance of God’s glory and the exact representation of His being, sustaining all things by His powerful Word. That means right now, God’s Word is holding everything up. How is that, Pastor Mike? He spoke principles into place, and the whole world operates on principles. Even today, the principle of gravity—He spoke that one time. He isn’t coming back every day to say, «Gravity!» He didn’t do that. He spoke it once, established a principle, and when He did, everything functions before us, with us, and after us based on the principle God spoke. Time? He established a principle. We all wake up and go to sleep based on the principle God said.
Seasons? Summer, fall, winter, spring—it doesn’t matter if we’re in a famine or in Corona! He established a principle, and the Word of God stands forever and ever. The grass withers and the flower fades, but the Word of God stands forever. Why won’t we listen to God about relationships? Because He is the only one who understands the principles. I’ve got to get through this! Okay, when you buy a computer, a toaster, a microwave, or a cell phone, what is the first thing you see when you open the box? You usually see a little pamphlet with a bunch of words on it. That’s not the product; you should usually see what? A manual! Okay, do any of us read the manual completely? Come on—I know you! You’re literally working, driving, living with things that you’ve never even…
Come on, let’s be honest! I can’t remember the last time I picked up a manual! Honestly, it’s for toys my daughter has—I don’t know how to put these new toys together. They could really be a lot simpler. I probably need to work for one of the toy companies because it’s like little dumb pieces that go to little dumb pieces! That’s the last time I picked up the manual. But like for a TV? I’ll pull a $4,000 TV out the box, plug it in, hit the remote—why would I need the manual? Come on, let’s be honest! I got a new car—put it in drive, put the key in the ignition, vroom! Why would I read the manual? The reason is, most of us are paying for things that we don’t get the full benefit from. You missed it! You’re paying for things that you’re not fully benefitting from because you don’t read the manual about what you are doing.
Let me help you! Some of you have smartphones—come on, let’s be honest right now! And if you don’t have a smartphone, we’re gonna pray for you and God is bringing an increase into your life right now! But this is the thing, if you have a smartphone that you paid for, it probably has two to three hundred functions. Let’s be honest: you use six of them. You text, you call—what else do you do? You take pictures, use social media, and if you’re really fancy, you take notes and use the calendar. But you literally paid the price for hundreds of functions, and you use six of them. Why? Because you didn’t read the manual.
I’ve started to think about that when it comes to our relationships. Could our marriage be better if we read the manual? Could my season of singleness be amazing if I understood what God says about this season and how I don’t need to rush into marriage since this is the greatest decision of sacrifice I’m ever going to make, besides choosing Jesus? How should I use this time to discover who I am? Could this season of singleness, or even divorce, be the time that God refines me so that when I find the one I’m meant to be with, I won’t bring the baggage of my past into the next season?
I’m preaching right now. All I’m saying is that if you would read the manual, you could enjoy all the benefits. Instead of benefiting, we’re suffering. The truth is, most of us are in relationships—with friends, business colleagues, teachers, mothers, fathers, and marriages—where we’re not getting the full benefits because we don’t know how those relationships actually work. The only way you can find out how they work is by going to the manufacturer. It’s like entering a marriage without knowing what God wants for it. I’m going to break this down for you.
The word «manual» refers to guidance. Let me help you. I told you I would teach you today, and I know we’ll need to keep going; there’s so much more I want to discuss. I’m full; I’m overflowing right now. If you grasp these principles and stay with me throughout this entire series, if you buckle up for what God wants to do, by the end of this journey, we’ll cover every facet of your life. I promise you’re going to succeed in your relationships—that’s why God has you here. It’s not a coincidence, nor is it merely a viral sermon series; it’s because He wants you to win.
But you cannot win without a goal. You can’t know the goal without fully understanding the intention, and you can’t grasp the intention unless you go to the manufacturer. So, let’s break down «manufacturer.» The word «menu» means to make. When you combine it with «man,» it signifies creation. The manufacturer is the factory where the product is made—the source that produces it. When you put «man» and «u» together, it means the mind of the maker, the thoughts of the maker on paper. You read the manual because it represents the maker’s thoughts on paper. The reason you read the Bible is that it serves as our manual; it contains the Creator’s thoughts.
What He’s saying is that when you receive a manual, it tells you that you do not know the maker’s mind concerning the product. You may assume you know how it works, but you’re unaware of the upgraded features. You might have had a similar device before, but you don’t have the latest information. That’s where the Holy Spirit comes in; He provides new instructions. The Bible says He will lead you and guide you into all truth. That’s why, when you know the principles and walk with the Holy Spirit, you don’t just stumble into situations; instead, you gain insight into the maker’s mind, the manufacturer’s thoughts, laid out clearly.
That’s why the Bible is non-negotiable; it will save you from scars, hurt, and pain from hurting others by providing you with the maker’s wisdom on how to live, how to be married, how to be single, and how to handle money. We do ourselves a disservice by thinking we know better than God. Charles, I may not have enough time to finish this message! Do you want me to keep going? Tell me to continue because I want to maintain your attention. I feel like God is saying something; something is about to break off you. It’s ignorance that’s holding you back. You will begin to see the Bible in a new light; you’ll realize it’s more advantageous to focus on this manual rather than getting lost in social media posts.
I’m trying to be blessed so I can be a blessing. I want my marriage to be one where my children look at me and call me blessed. I’m trying to be relationship goals—not just chase after them. Many of us are suffering because we don’t understand the maker’s mind. Because we haven’t read the manual, we suffer greatly. That’s why if I have a Mercedes, I wouldn’t go to Toyota for repairs. Why? Because Toyota does not have genuine parts for the Mercedes. Similarly, when my marriage is broken, I don’t seek guidance from popular culture; they don’t have the genuine parts. They offer fabricated advice that might seem to fit, like «sleep with whoever you want and just have fun.» That advice is a faulty replacement part. When you engage in such behavior outside of marriage, you face the consequences—like soul ties that cause emotional pain and hurt children. You might show up at your wedding, but it feels like all those past experiences have taken pieces of you away, leaving you incomplete.
You are not meant to enter into a marriage as only 50% of yourself. You are supposed to enter whole, and so is your partner. We’ll discuss singleness in another session, but right now, the reason for these struggles is that we haven’t sought out genuine parts from the actual manufacturer. That’s why I’m sharing the title of my message: «Warning, Warning, Warning: Read the Manual Before You Touch the Product.» Before you enter a relationship, before you make decisions in a marriage, before you consider divorce—read the manual.
Some of you may have found yourselves in relationships that turned into business partnerships, where there’s no love or passion. The kids are gone, and you’re looking at your spouse, unsure if you still love them. God says it’s not too late. The moment you open the manual, the moment you open His word, and utilize resources like the book I just wrote, you’ll tap into His heart and mind. The Bible is the only book that reads you as you read it; it’s alive and active, sharper than any two-edged sword. You need to understand that if you read the manual, you can have the guarantee from the manufacturer.
Many of us are navigating relationships without a clear goal because we don’t even know what to aim for. God’s plan for you is to succeed in your relationships, but His principles are found in His manual. Now you might say, «Pastor Mike, I thought you were going to give me practical advice for my relationship.» I’m about to break up with you right now and remind you before taking any action, go to the manual—see what God’s Word says. I believe that this principle applies to more than just relationships; it can enhance every area of your life. If you do not know what the manufacturer says about anything in your life, you’re living beneath your potential.
That’s why I’m asking you for the next six to eight weeks of this series: can we make the Word of God the final authority on what relationships should look like, what the goals should be—not anything else? Because only the creator can speak to that. Right now, I know people’s minds are turning; knowledge is lighting up. You’ve been walking in darkness, thinking another blog would help, but God says, «I’ve already provided all the principles you need for life and godliness in this love letter.»
When I hear that the divorce rate among married couples—saved or unsaved—is 50%, it means you have a 50% chance today that if you get married, it’s going to end in divorce, which is one of the hardest forms of relationship disintegration. When people are intertwined and then suddenly separate, all that happens is damage. Sure, you can recover from divorce, and you can be restored, but you cannot erase the consequences of entering into that commitment without adequate preparation and wisdom. God says in His Word, «I hate divorce,» not because He hates the people involved, but because He mourns people’s ignorance and their failure to do what’s necessary to ensure they enter into this commitment prepared and equipped.
Would you please do it my way? Read the manual! I’m begging everyone right now: your relationship will not improve with time; it will improve with knowledge. And that knowledge must come from the Word of God. If you want your relationship to flourish, go to the manual and discover the manufacturer’s insight about relationships.
Stop seeking advice from friends whose relationships aren’t working; that’s not wise. I’m picturing a cookbook: when you open it, you see a delicious cake on one side and a list of ingredients and instructions on the other. We often want just the picture, but when we try to recreate it without following the directions, we end up with something we didn’t ask for. Many of you are products of relationships where people didn’t follow the recipe. Some of us started off at a disadvantage—broken homes, absent fathers, overworked mothers, trauma, and so on. God hates that this has happened to you, but there can be healing. He can provide knowledge that dispels the ignorance that overshadows your situation.
You are a child of God! Wherever the enemy has burdened you with shame, grief, or guilt, remember: any man (or woman) in Christ is a new creation; the old has passed away, and all things are made new. But you will remain ignorant of this truth if you don’t consult the manual. In His Word, God declares you the righteousness of Christ, regardless of your past actions.
So, whether you’ve had a wild lifestyle or faced emotional infidelity in your marriage, God is addressing real situations right now. Return to the manufacturer and consult the manual; understand His thoughts on relationships. Just like that cake: if it turns out salty and hard, you cannot blame the cake itself. We do this with marriages, saying they don’t work because they’re difficult or unpleasant. Remember, if your marriage is rough, don’t blame marriage itself. Instead, examine the ingredients.
If you don’t have two whole individuals pursuing God—if you go into marriage with unresolved issues—what emerges might be unappetizing. I want to reference a story in Matthew; look up Matthew 19:3-6 to study it further. They were trying to trap Jesus, and they basically said, «Hey, is it lawful for a man to divorce a woman for any reason?» Because back in those days, you could divorce your wife if she sneezed the wrong way or cooked with hot sauce in your food; you could divorce her for any reason. Jesus, being so profound, I love it, because most of us are trying to figure out how not to get a divorce or how to keep the relationship from breaking, just trying to make it good.
Jesus comes to them and doesn’t even answer their question. He says, «Y’all are asking me about the worst relationship breakup there can be—divorce—because it damages everyone involved.» He said, «But I’m not going to answer your question.» Look at what He says in Matthew chapter 19, verse 4: «Haven’t you read?» What’s that word? «Haven’t you looked for more knowledge? Haven’t you read something? Hasn’t the light come on in the Scriptures?» In His reply, they record that from the beginning, God made it clear. Oh, that’s so good. We’re not going to talk about divorce because divorce is a symptom; it’s not the real problem. Divorce is the end result of people who did not consult the principles of God in the manual.
So, I’m not going to talk about divorce; I’m going to go back to the beginning. If we start off with the right principles and the right people, then we can form the right relationships and have the right marriages and businesses, making divorce not even an option. Symptoms are there to tell our body that something is wrong. The pain comes to indicate that something is off. What I’m telling you is all the divorce happening is communicating that as a society we have strayed from the manufacturer’s intent for relationships. God goes back to the beginning, and today I’m asking us, let’s go back to the beginning. My last point is to get the manufacturer’s guarantee in relationships; you must read the manual. Bring it on—come at me with everything!
«What about this book? What about that book?» I want to let you know the manual is not «Relationship Goals.» The book I wrote tried to take principles from the manual and make it easy to awaken your appetite for that wisdom. I think it could be a great asset to your life to engage with it, but I’m telling you, if you don’t have that book, that’s all good—go to the Word of God. The Word of God is where I got everything from the book «Relationship Goals.» The only thing I remember is that anything that is not a principle is an opinion. Many of us have been reading opinion books, opinion blogs, and listening to the opinions of our cousin or some celebrity. God says, «Hey, listen, all of those are opinions. I need you to come back to the principles.»
To get the manufacturer’s guarantee in relationships, you must read and study the manual. Prior to this, I was telling my wife what I was going to read, and she started looking up manuals. She said, «Oh my gosh, Mike, that’s good!» I asked, «What, baby?» She replied, «You could preach this!» I said, «What, baby?» She told me, «Look at what this instruction says: 'Failure to read may result in serious injury or property damage.' Could that not explain what many of us are feeling right now?»
Even though we’re acting like everything’s fine, when everyone comes around and asks how we’re doing, we say, «I’m good,» but because we didn’t read the manual, failure to read it can lead to serious injuries—injuries of the heart, injuries of the mind, injuries of our purpose, injuries of our destiny. Some of us aren’t pursuing purpose because of one thing someone we loved or liked said; they killed the purpose inside of us. They spoke death into us. We didn’t follow the principles, and now we’re waiting for God to give us another word, but He said, «I’ve already called you great. I’ve already called you good. I’ve already spoken my word over you.» But you have to go back and read the manual.
Today, some people are feeling broken and lost. I have an analogy for you: pass me the basketball. This basketball, just like your life, in my hands is worth about $15. But in LeBron James’s hands, this basketball is worth about $40 million a year. Now, pass me the football. This football, right here in my hands, is worth about $12, but in the hands of Peyton Manning, this is worth $80 million over a career. Okay, let me get that golf club real quick. This club in my hands is worth about $50, and at Topgolf, I could give it a go, but in the hands of Tiger Woods, it becomes the first billion-dollar athlete. A stick in my hands may beat off an animal that comes to attack my wife while I scream, but in the hands of Moses, it parts the Red Sea. A slingshot in my hands is a child’s toy, but in the hands of King David, it can take down giants.
Two nails in my hands may hang a couple of pictures, but two nails in the hands of our Savior can save humanity, provide salvation, and give eternal life. Your relationship in your hands will continue to produce the same broken results over and over, but your relationship in God’s hands will get the manufacturer’s guarantee for winning in relationships. Today, I’m asking you to take your worry, your pain, your frustration, your fear; take it out of your hands, because in your hands, it’s just going to get you more of the same. But if you cast your tears on the one who cares for you, if you give Him your worry, your pain—"I don’t know what I’m going to do about my job"—if you give Him these things in your relationship, if you give Him your past, He’s the only one that can take your mess and make a message. He’s the only one that can take your pieces and make a masterpiece. He’s the only one that can take your hurt and heal others.
Today, I’m asking you, could we, at the beginning of this series, go back to the manufacturer—the one who created relationships before any of us were here—and get His insight? Hands lifted all over this place! Even at home right now, I believe God is working on your heart, your soul, your spirit. In the name that is above every name, I declare and believe that right now, this is relationship surgery happening in people.
Father, forgive us for putting other principles above You—for how we raise our kids, how we date, how we are single, how we are married, how we do business. Forgive us, Lord. Today we repent; all that means is we turn back to You. We turn back to Your manual and find the Maker’s mind about relationships. Today, God, I thank You that this is the start of a revolution in revelation that will cause transformation in every family, in every home, and in every heart. I thank You that today we surrender ourselves to You. Every marriage, we surrender our marriage to You. Every single person, we surrender our singleness to You. Every divorced person, we surrender our lives to You. God, I thank You that this week—oh, I feel the presence of God—when people crack open the manual that You left us, I thank You that You would jump off the pages. I thank You, Father, that Your word would be alive and sharper than any two-edged sword. I thank You that the answers we’ve been looking for in man’s opinions will be solved in a moment when we discover the principle. God, change us from the inside out and let us know that our first relationship goal, the principle relationship goal, should be a relationship with You. Today, reorder our priorities and give us Your heart. We cast our cares on You because You care for us. In Jesus' name!
In that same posture, if you’re here, if you’re watching, it’s not by accident. Those same two nails that were worthless in my hands were put in Jesus’s hands just for you. When He allowed them—check this out—He didn’t have to do it, but He did. When we were yet sinners, when we were still in the club, when we were sleeping with everyone, when I was addicted to pornography, when I was lying to authority, He said, «Michael’s going to need this,» so He took those nails and put them in Himself. I’ll be the eternal sacrifice for every one of his mess-ups.
Today, I want to give you the greatest relationship goal you could ever have: a relationship with Jesus Christ. I know some of you are thinking of all the religion that says, «But I just did this,» and «I’m planning to do that,» and they don’t even know that I’m still doing this. God says, «I already know that.» He said, «I just want your heart.» «Well, maybe I need to do some things first.» «Maybe I need to clean up because if I clean up, then I can come to God.» This is the hospital for humanity. God’s saying, «You can come in here bleeding; you can come in here broken. That’s why I am the great physician. I am the healer. I am the Lord who heals you. I sent My word to heal your dis-ease. I am your healer.» If today He’s available to you, with every person knowing this is a reverent moment, I want you to begin to pray. If you’ve already accepted Jesus Christ, I feel the presence of God; chains are being broken off people right now as I speak.
If you’re watching live or by rebroadcast, this is not an accident; this is an appointment. God said, «I designed this moment for you to discover My heart.» According to the manual in Romans 10:9, He said, «If you just believe in Me—not to change everything right away!» God’s not asking you to do that. People ask you to do that—religious people ask you to do that—but God says, «If you give Me your heart, I’ll help you change your habits. If you would just believe that I died for you and arose again with all power, you will be saved. Turn from the way that you’ve been doing it and follow Me; I will give you the light that leads to life.» Today, that’s what God is offering you. If that’s you, I want you to lift your hand in the air on the count of three, wherever you are, just saying, «Pastor, include me in that prayer.»
I believe there are hundreds, if not thousands, of people responding right now. I feel the presence of God; many are about to make a decision today. This is the day of salvation—not tomorrow, as it’s not promised—but right now, in this moment, we can honor the principle of God by allowing Him into our hearts. If that’s you—one—you’re making the greatest decision you’ve ever made; two—you are the one that God has been coming after, and we’re proud of you; three—just lift that hand up right now. God sees you. It doesn’t matter if you’re in a room by yourself or with your family. You can put your hand down now. Transformation Church is a family, so we pray together. I want to hear you from all over the world right now praying this prayer out loud for the benefit of those coming to Christ—our new family members. I want everybody to say:
God, thank You for sending Jesus just for me. Thank You for giving me the principle of grace that it’s not by my works but by Your works. Today, I receive You. Change me, renew me, transform me. I’m Yours. In Jesus' name, I agree. Amen.