Mensa Otabil - Control Your Tongue
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We’ve had a very long two weeks of study around wisdom. We’ve tried to define what it is, and we’ve looked at how it works. We’ve examined different attributes that make us seem wise and attributes that do not make us seem wise. So we are ending our study for the time being on wisdom today. Next week, I will start something new, and we are talking about the lips of the wise. Proverbs 10, verse 19: «In the multitude of words sin is not lacking, but he who restrains his lips is wise.»
One of the ways in which we make mistakes in life is in what we say. The passage appropriately states that where there are so many words, sin is not lacking. Sin easily comes our way, but if we’re able to control what we say, we are seen as wise. People evaluate us on three main levels. When people see you, they make a judgment of who you are based on your appearance: what you’re wearing, how you’re carrying yourself — just your physical appearance-that’s the first way. Then, when you start speaking, they evaluate you by your words, whether your words are wise or not, and then by your actions.
Of the three, I think your words make the deepest impression on people. When people see your appearance, they know that appearances can be deceptive. But when people listen to you and hear you speak, they can weigh you and tell whether you are wise or not before you even have the chance to do something. So, words are very important. Words will indicate whether you are diligent or lazy. If you give a job to somebody, the way they respond will tell you whether they are diligent or lazy, whether they are trustworthy or deceitful. All of these are evaluated by our words, so the way we use our words is very important to our wisdom.
I just want to encourage each one of us with three points. First, we must make intelligent contributions when we are speaking. We don’t just have to speak because words have to be used. We have to speak because something important has to be said. I know that some people, temperamentally, are more outgoing and express themselves more freely than others who are quieter. I understand that if you are temperamentally a person who needs to express yourself, then you need to pack a lot of wisdom into what you say so that people don’t dismiss you or sideline you simply because they feel your words do not carry weight.
So when we’re making contributions, let’s make intelligent ones. Think through the processes that are required for you to make the right intervention. Secondly, the wise person does not speak rashly. We shouldn’t jump to conclusions. There are people who jump to conclusions very easily; they believe quickly, doubt quickly, and get angry quickly. Everything is very fast. If this is your temperament, then let’s make an effort to slow down the process of our reactions so we don’t react too rashly without consideration. Our mouths must be restrained, as the proverb says.
Lastly, we must speak with discretion. This is something I want to emphasize, especially regarding people who are tale- bearers. You meet with one person and relay the same conversation you had with that person to another who was not there. You go into someone’s presence, and everybody knows what was discussed. When you are like that, the Bible calls you a tale-bearer, and pretty soon, nobody will trust you with anything precious because you’ll spill it right after you leave their presence. So we have to speak with discretion; we must trust what people tell us and entrust it into our hands so that we don’t betray people’s confidences or misrepresent others, as these are not actions of wisdom.
To give you practical points: let us speak wisdom intelligently, avoid speaking rashly, and let us speak with a lot of discretion. I trust that if we can control our tongues, we can control our whole bodies and lives. I hope that these messages on wisdom would have given you some ideas on how we can improve our lives and make them better than they are now.
Let us pray. Say with me: Heavenly Father, help me to speak wisely at all times. Teach my tongue the words of wisdom. In Jesus' name, amen and amen.