Joyce Meyer - The Parable Of The Unforgiving Servant (08/24/2019)
Pastor Joyce teaches on the Parable of the Unforgiving Servant from Matthew 18, stressing that we must forgive others repeatedly because God has forgiven us so much. Jesus commands unlimited forgiveness—seventy times seven—and warns that refusing to forgive blocks God's forgiveness toward us and gives Satan an advantage.
The Challenge We All Face with Forgiveness
If I said to you, "I am going to teach tonight on how much God forgives you, no matter what you do or how often you do it or how bad the sin is, God forgives you. He completely forgives you without finding fault or without reproaching you. And He remembers your sins no more." You would like that message and you would be clapping and cheering all night. But that's not what I'm teaching on tonight. Well, maybe a little bit.
But I am going to teach on something that is a message that we have to hear over and over and over in our lives. There are some messages that we cannot just hear once. We have to hear them regularly. And one of them is teaching on the mind and our thoughts. Anybody ever have any trouble with their mind? Oh my gosh. Me too. With our mouth? Me too. And with forgiving people who hurt us and offend us.
Okay. So, one of the things that Jesus taught on a lot was the importance of forgiving people. And He does talk about that we should forgive others because He has forgiven us. And I think one of the reasons why we find it hard to forgive people is we just forget how much God has forgiven us for. And maybe sometimes we just need to think about that a little bit more.
When we're having trouble forgiving somebody or we think it's not even fair for God to ask us to forgive them, maybe we just need to sit and think just a little bit about some of the stuff that God has forgiven us for. One of the reasons why we love Jesus so much is because of His great forgiveness and His great mercy. How wonderful it is.
Jesus and the Power of Parables
So, Jesus was a storyteller because in telling stories you give people pictures, not just words, but pictures that help them really understand the message. And they were called parables. We call them parables. There's 39 of them in the Bible. And although I'm not going to try to teach on all 39 because it would be a never-ending series, I have already taught on a couple of them and I'm going to do the parable tonight of the unforgiving servant.
And we're going to start in Matthew chapter 18, beginning in verse 15. And let me just say, before I begin, all of you look so spiritual and so full of the word and so godly that some of you are mad. And some of you may have even come here tonight with somebody you're mad at. Amen? Oh, listen.
I remember when Dave and I used to fight all the way to church. Get to the front door. See the first other spiritual person besides us. Put on our church face. Oh, praise the Lord. Thank you, Jesus. Go in. Sit on the front row. Jump. Clap. Cheer. Sing. I surrender all. Get in the car. Fight all the way home. I'd get home. Be mad at Dave. Wouldn't cook him anything to eat. Come on.
Well, that's part of the baby stage of Christianity, but it's not for mature believers. Amen? We are not to take offense. Just because someone tries to offend you, or maybe they offend you and they're not even trying. The point is, we are not to take the offense.
Getting Really Good at Forgiving
I want to help you tonight get good at forgiving people. I mean, like, really good. Like, I want you to start deciding every morning that you're going to forgive anybody who irritates you even before they get a chance to irritate you. How would that be? Because I can pretty much guarantee you every day, unless you just stay home totally alone, somebody's going to bug you in some way, shape, or form. Amen?
We're all a little bit like a cactus. We're a little prickly, and we stick other people. We bug other people. So keep in mind when somebody makes you mad that you have probably made somebody else mad and don't even realize that you did it.
Verse 15, Matthew 18. If your brother wrongs you, go and show him his fault between you and him privately. Everybody say privately. Privately. Hmm. Say it one more time. Privately. That means you don't go tell somebody else. You don't even tell them under the guise of wanting them to pray for your wrong brother. Come on, I bet it really aggravates God when we use our beautiful opportunity to pray as an opportunity to tell tales on people.
Now, I'm only telling you this because I want you to pray. Oh boy. So you go to him privately, and I might add, I think it's wise to take a little time to pray before you go to the brother or the sister. Make sure that they wronged you, and you just weren't having a touchy day where maybe it was you and not them. Amen.
The Biblical Process for Confrontation
It is alright to confront someone if there's an issue between you and them, but it needs to be done in a right way. And the goal should always be to bring the offending party to a place of repentance, so their relationship with God is not hindered. Going to them should never be to make them feel guilty, to make them feel bad, to let them know that you didn't like what they did, you're not going to put up with it.
If he does not listen, verse 16 says, then take along with you one or two others, so that every word might be confirmed and upheld by the testimony of two or three witnesses. In other words, if he won't believe you, then maybe if two or three people confirm that he does behave in a wrong way, maybe he'll listen to them.
If he will not listen to them, tell it to the church. And I want you to watch this. And if he refuses to listen even to the church, then let him be to you as a pagan and a tax collector. Wow. I'll tell you what, they dealt with people in the New Testament a little bit tougher than the way we deal with people today.
We've gotten a pretty good-sized problem with tolerating just about everything under the heading of loving people. But you really don't find that kind of behavior in the New Testament. If he pays no attention to them, then treat him as a pagan and a tax collector. Tax collectors were just, I mean, just nobody wanted anything to do with the tax collector.
But here again, it was all to help the man. It wasn't to hurt him. It wasn't to embarrass him. It wasn't to be unkind or ungodly. The whole goal was to help bring him to a place of repentance.
Consequences and Heavenly Authority
And you know what? I was just talking to somebody this week, and she's dealing with a situation where somebody else keeps repeatedly doing the same thing, something that's very wrong. And she said, but there's never been any consequence. And you know what? Even the Bible says that if somebody sins and there's no consequence, then they will just keep doing the same thing over and over and over.
Now verse 18 is important. Truly I tell you, whatever you forbid and declare to be improper and unlawful on earth must be what is already forbidden in heaven. And whatever you permit and declare proper and lawful on earth must be what is already permitted in heaven.
So in essence, he's saying that we have great authority, but only the authority to do here on earth what heaven would do. So, if you think whoever it is that you might be mad at, or whoever it is you might be tempted to be mad at next week, if you think that Jesus would stay mad at them, then go ahead. But if you're pretty sure that he would forgive them and pray for them and even pray blessings on them, which I can prove to you scripturally, then you don't have authority to stay mad at them even if somebody won't repent.
We still do not have authority to stay mad at them. We still need to, from our part, forgive them. That doesn't mean that you don't deal with them differently but you still forgive them. So, we have authority but only the authority to do here on earth what heaven would do.
The Power of Agreement and Unity
And then verse 19. Again, I tell you, if any two of you on earth agree, harmonize together, make a symphony together about whatever, anything and everything they might ask…it will come to pass and be done for them by my Father in heaven. The power of agreement. The power of unity. The power of unity.
I don't think you can even begin to understand the power of a marriage where there's peace and agreement and unity. And now, we may have heard a lot about the prayer of agreement. Well that's not even really saying there is such a thing. It's basically saying if two people live in agreement and harmony then their prayers, their power in prayer is multiplied many times over.
When I was first taught about the prayer of agreement, nobody bothered to tell me that I couldn't fight with somebody all week and then when one needed a miracle ask them to agree with me for my miracle and then go home and go back to fighting. Come on.
Were any of you ever taught about the prayer of agreement and how powerful that was? And so we would say, can I get you to agree with me about this? I'm sick. Would you agree with me for my healing? I need to find a job. Would you agree with me? Well that prayer is powerful but you better find somebody that you're living in agreement with to pray that prayer.
You can't gossip about your pastor all weekend when you get a bad report from the doctor go ask him to agree with you. Do you know what a problem this is in the church? I mean there are so many people that are mad at so many people and so many people that get offended every time somebody looks at them crossways if somebody doesn't shake their hand if somebody doesn't do this if somebody doesn't do that we have got to grow up. Amen?
Let's get to the point where we are almost impossible to offend. Verse 20 for wherever two or three are gathered in my name there I am in the midst of them. Now he wasn't taking off onto another subject so here again you know we say well boy Jesus is here because there's a bunch of us gathered.
Well I think he means that he's happy to get in the midst of people that are loving and in agreement not just people that are sitting in church judging everybody else and gossiping and crabbing and complaining and you know not that you would do that but there may be some poor soul watching by TV that needs to hear this.
Peter's Question and Jesus' Radical Answer
Then Peter came to Jesus this is all just one verse after another it's all the same subject then Peter came to Jesus and said how many times can my brother sin against me and I forgive him and let it go as many as seven I think that's interesting you know Peter had probably heard the rabbis teach which they did teach in those days that we must forgive three times but the fourth time we don't need to forgive I don't know where they came up with that but that was what they taught so Peter figured that Jesus' standard would be a little higher but he surely didn't think it would be any more than seven.
Why would Peter even ask a question like that? Well I'm totally convinced that those twelve disciples did not all like each other and did not all appreciate each other there's enough information in the Bible for us to know that there was competition between them they were jealous of each other and I think it's pretty plain that Peter had a little bit of a hard time with John's personality.
I mean how would you like to be Peter bold aggressive doesn't use a lot of wisdom with his mouth quick-tempered how would you like to hang out with somebody who calls himself the disciple whom Jesus loves? I am and John wrote the book of John and he said that repeated times I am the disciple that Jesus loves and his whole personality was different he was just real relational hanging around loving Jesus and Peter he's a man of action he wants to go do something and so they had issues just like we have issues with people.
People it is you know this myth of finding anybody that's perfect is just useless because everybody may be a rose but they come with thorns there's good there's strengths and there's weaknesses in everybody and the more you are with any one person the more they are likely to irritate you in some way and these 12 guys live together all the time see you're all poking each other and like oh listen I love my husband tremendously but he does things that irritate me and the funny thing about Dave is when he knows he irritates me then he does it more just to irritate me more because he thinks it's funny and I won't get into Dave's stories or I'll never get my message finished but he's I mean I could give you a big long list of things that he does I'm sure I do things too but he just never says anything about it like I do I'm happy to tell him what he does it irritates me and he like I said he thinks it's funny he's like oh good now I'll do it some more.
So Jesus said not up to seven times Peter but seventy times seven and he really he basically was just saying however much however many times it takes now you know to forgive the same person for the same thing over and over gets even harder than forgiving somebody for something once now forgiveness doesn't always mean that you need to stay in some kind of a deep relationship with somebody but it has to do with your heart attitude toward them.
Understanding Why People Hurt Us
And one of the things we have to realize is that hurting people hurt people and we need to take a little more time to pray about and be more discerning not about just what people do but maybe why they did it why they behave the way they behave there's a reason for our weirdness and we've all got our own little brand amen.
Have you ever seen that section? Well, like, you can go to a discount store, and you know that you're going to get a better price there, but everything in there has got some kind of a flaw in it. Some are easy to find, some are hard to find, but they're there. Amen? And so everything in that store comes as is.
But, you know, that's the way people come. They come as is. And there's a flaw in everybody somewhere, and if you look for it hard enough, and you hang out with them long enough, you're going to find it. But you've got to keep in mind that you have them too. Not just everybody else, but you have them.
I know that I must have many more irritating habits than my husband does, but I don't see mine. And even if I do, I'm quick to make an excuse for them. For us, there's always an excuse, but for other people, there is no excuse for you to behave that way.
Some of you are going to have to go home and forgive somebody. Forgiveness has to be one of life's crucial lessons, because Jesus talked about it so much. Forgiveness does not excuse bad behavior. It forgives it. Forgiveness, the God kind of forgiveness, can forgive the unforgivable, the inexcusable, and even the unimaginable.
Jesus is asking us to stop counting how many times we forgive somebody. Well, this is the third time I've forgiven you for that. Our anger and refusal to forgive costs us more than we can even possibly imagine.
The High Cost of Unforgiveness
Number one, it hinders our relationship with God. Matthew 6:15. But if you do not forgive others their trespasses, their reckless and willful sins, leaving them, letting them go, and giving up the resentment, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses. Wow, do we really believe that scripture? I don't think so.
He says, look, if you won't forgive other people, then I'm not going to forgive you. That's hard for us to take in. Do you have any idea how many angry people go to God and ask for stuff all the time? Ask God to forgive their sins at the same time they're mad at somebody else for theirs? Come on, are you awake out there? I'm not preaching to myself. Although I need it.
Second thing is, if you stay angry, it gives place to the devil. Ephesians 4:26-27. When you're angry, don't sin. So see, you can be angry and not sin. God's not asking us to never get angry. He just says, control your anger. Don't let it get over into an area of sin.
Nobody likes it when they're mistreated. I don't like it when people are rude to me. Don't ever let your wrath, your exasperation, your fear, your indignation last until the sun goes down. Man, I hate it when I get mad right before bedtime. That does not give me long to get it straightened out. 7 a.m. is better than I got all day to pout.
Hey, I got a system. Now, let me tell you how foolish, how really just dumb anger is. I can remember getting mad at Dave, going to bed, and I was, I'm not going to touch him. I am not touching him. I do not want to touch him. He might think that I'm not mad, and I want him to know that I'm mad.
So, therefore, I would sleep on the seam of the mattress all night. You get it. See, I got people that, yeah. Look, look at all of them. All right, there we are. Not touching you. Okay. And so I spent half the night hanging on to the mattress so I don't fall out of bed. And then he ends up with all the cover, and I am so cold, but I am not going to ask him for anything. Nothing. So, I freeze, lay on the seam of the mattress, and Dave snores all night and has pleasant dreams.
Now, you know, the Bible says that a fool suffers a lot more than a wise man. Amen? Wow. Staying angry gives Satan an advantage over us.
Closing the Door on the Enemy
By the way, over the years, I've grown a lot, and I will not go to bed mad. I don't care if I have to apologize for something I don't think I did. I mean, I will not go to bed mad. I am not going to work as hard as I do to have the relationship with God that I do, to have an anointing on my life, to preach the gospel, and then go to bed mad and let the devil in. Amen.
And really, it is just Satan's tool and tactic to steal the presence of God from you, to hinder your anointing, to hinder your power, to get you in disagreement so your prayers don't work. There's no upside to it at all. None. It gives Satan an advantage over us, the Bible says.
2 Corinthians 2:10-11. Listen, Paul said, If you forgive anyone anything, I too forgive that one. For what I have forgiven, if I have forgiven anything, has been for your sake in the presence of and with the approval of Christ the Messiah. Watch verse 11. To keep Satan from getting the advantage over us, for we are not ignorant of his wiles and intentions.
Come on, somebody needs to slam the door in the devil's face.