Joyce Meyer - Healing The Wounded Soul

Joyce: Welcome to "Enjoying everyday life". You know, I've shared very transparently and honestly about my life for many years. You've likely heard of the deep wounds that I suffered but hopefully you've also heard about the healing that God has brought to my soul, and I firmly believe that God wants that for every single one of us. You may be feeling abandoned, hurt, and perhaps even at the lowest point in your life right now, but you have no idea the amazing things that God has planned for you.

So today, as we discuss healing the soul of a woman, Ginger's here with me and we're gonna tackle some of the questions that you've sent in on this subject. And I hope by the end of the program, you'll be encouraged and make a decision that you will not live wounded anymore. Well, you know, Ginger there's a lot of people walking around hurting and many of them have learned to put a smile on their face and pretend that everything's okay.

Ginger: That is very true.

Joyce: But they're deeply wounded on the inside. Sometimes it's from real tragic things that have happened, but sometimes it's just the day-to-day stuff and trying to deal with people, and pay bills and, you know, there's just a lot of people that are discouraged today, really discouraged.

Ginger: No, you're right. And I think that sometimes people have a full understanding of what happened to them. They had a traumatic event and they understand that they're wounded, but they just don't know what to do about it or how to let God into help. And then there are others of us that just feel like, "I don't know what's happening. Why am I this? Why am I angry? Why am I discontent"? And sometimes it comes down to, like you were saying, just life's little, bitty tears and wounds that happen along the way that add up and before you know it, you have a wounded soul.

Joyce: Things that we just don't deal with. We probably need to make sure that we deal with issues as they come up and make sure that we haven't just stuck it somewhere in our soul, in a convenient place and think that we're just gonna ignore it and it will go away. So, I know you've got some good questions from some of our wonderful friends and partners. So, let's see if we can help somebody.

Ginger: This first question comes from Patty and she says: "I've had a lifetime of not being listened to or believed and abused. When I get stressed or have to deal with something, I go into every encounter angry and ready to do battle before I even open my mouth. I have overcome a lot, but this is a challenge. How do I learn to trust"?

Joyce: Well, learning how to trust people can only happen if you trust God with those people. I was just looking at a scripture this morning that I have actually on my wall in my office. It's in Peter and it says, talking about Jesus, "He trusted himself and everything to him who judges fairly". 'Cause I know I went through this. I remember even when God was dealing with me about trusting my husband Dave, and I had such a difficult time trusting men because literally almost every man that was I ever around for very long seemed to want to get...

Ginger: They hurt you.

Joyce: Yeah, they hurt me, you know, they did things that were improper or they didn't consider me. They didn't think about me. They were selfish. And I remember saying to God, "How can you ask me to trust a man"? He said, "I'm asking you to trust me". And he judges fairly so if somebody is mistreating us and we put our trust in God, we can truly trust that he will deal with that situation. That doesn't mean that you don't speak up for yourself, but trusting God is the answer to all this.

And then she said that she spent a lifetime with nobody listening to her or paying any attention to her and the first thing I thought of is well, that's really not true because God listens to her and pays attention to her all the time. Now, I know sometimes that may initially not seem very comforting because you can't see God and you don't have the same kind of conversation with him that you do with others, but there's also a possibility sometimes you get hurt enough in one area and you then begin to imagine that everybody's doing that to you.

So, I really want to encourage her to not ever put things from her past on new people that she comes into contact with now. I did that. I was blaming every man for what a few men did to me, and I had to realize that that wasn't fair to them. You can't make somebody else pay for what somebody did to you. And the whole thing about the healing the soul, and I'll just be honest with you, it's a process. It's not something that's gonna happen overnight. It will take some major steps of faith, of stepping out into things that may really frighten you like taking a chance on being hurt.

You know, there's really no way to have love if you're afraid of being hurt because we all do hurt each other, but the healer lives inside of us and so I hope that she joins all the rest of us on our journeys of healing. And I do know one thing for sure, everything that God says is true and it is ours, but we have to not give up because that's exactly what Satan wants us to do.

Ginger: Well, there is a really important, like a salve in just knowing that God understands those wounds even when we don't, that he loves us through them, that he wants to heal us. That's a big question for a lot of people, "Does God even want to heal me? Can he heal me"? And seeing the way that he's healed you, seeing the way that he's healed other people is incredibly encouraging to know that we're not alone in what we're facing.

Joyce: I love, love, love, love the fact that God is a God of justice. That's really important to me because we want justice. We feel like we're due something. "Somebody owes me. You know, I shouldn't have been treated like that". But God is the one that will bring justice. We trust him to be our vindicator and to do it in his timing and in his way. And I was just listening to a teaching this morning that said, don't waste one more day of your now time and your future grieving over something from the past that you cannot go back and do anything about. So, it's just time for a lot of people to just let go. And I always say I didn't have a good start but I'm determined to have a good finish.

Ginger: Well, I'll tell you there's probably not one person living who hasn't experienced some type of wound to the soul and whether they have an experience like yours where they were deeply wounded or they had an experience like mine where it's just kind of the wear and tear of life, and the rejection of friends or whatever it may be, those things still are deep wounds and so we all need this.

So, here's another question. This is from Litany. She says, "I was sexually abused as early as I can remember. I know God was there and feeling the same pain that I was feeling, but now to be honest, I have kind of a God owes me attitude. How do I heal from that"?

Joyce: Well, the truth is is she is due something and God is the one that will pay her back. Now, God never owes us anything, but I get what she's talking about. My problem was is I tried to collect from everybody else and all I was doing was frustrating myself and driving people out of my life. I couldn't maintain any kind of decent relationship because I kept trying to get them to pay me back. You know, I felt like I'd been cheated. I didn't get to have a childhood. I'd been mistreated. I felt sorry for myself.

And so, God will pay you back and actually I mean I love the promises in Isaiah that he will give us double recompense for our former trouble. I mean, how good is that? God actually can take a person that's been wounded and we think, "Oh, if only that wouldn't have happened to me," but God can actually take that and make your life better than it would have been if it wouldn't have happened. And so, I just encourage her. It's okay to say, "God, owes me," not in a disrespectful way, you know? Because really, God's so good to us, he doesn't owe us anything and if he never did anything except send his Son to the cross to die for our sins, then that's all. But the fact I think instead of saying, "God, you owe me," would be to say, "God, I know you're going to pay me back because you promised me that you're my vindicator".

Ginger: Yeah, Rachel is asking, "How do I ask for God's guidance and power over my struggle with addiction? I'm afraid of relapsing"?

Joyce: Well, how she asks is she just asks, you know, very plain and simple. We don't have to be fancy with God. We don't have to try to pretend to be something that we're not. And I can understand her fear of relapsing, perhaps she's done it in the past, but there's a scripture that says, you know, "Many are the afflictions of the righteous, but God delivers him out of them all, for a righteous man falls down seven times and gets back up again". And so, I'm a very big proponent of not giving up. And, of course, being afraid just invites that failure into our life.

So, be honest with God, you know? "I want to trust that I can get beyond this, but I keep falling back into the same thing and so sometimes I'm so afraid of failure that I don't even want to try. But I'm gonna try and I'm going to try as many times as I have to try until I finally get a victory". You know, we need to be a lot more aware that Satan is our enemy than we are. We forget that, that he's the enemy, he's the one that's trying to make her think that she doesn't know how to pray, and he's the one that's trying to make her afraid that she's going to succumb to temptation again. But the good news is is even if she did, God still loves her and he's not gonna give up on her. And so, she needs to be more determined than the devil is.

You know, the Bible talks about enduring, to endure, and this is just my definition but I believe to endure means to outlast the devil, and I think that's something we have to make clear with the enemy is no matter how many times you knock me down, I'm going to get back up again because the victory is already hers. She's just in the process of applying it in her life.

Ginger: Well, here's another question that I think a lot of women may relate to. It's talking about an addiction of a different kind. It says, "How do you deal with the addiction of needing to be in a relationship? How do I learn to be happy with just myself and God"?

Joyce: Well, I know that it's not easy for people to just say, "Well, you've always got God. He's always with you. He'll never leave you, nor forsake you". And to be honest, a lot of the things that we deal with involve our temperament more than we like to or may realize it, and so, we have to take into account maybe part of her issue is is that she just needs people more than what maybe somebody else would, so God will take account for that. But maybe the type of relationship that she's looking for is more the issue. You know, what I would recommend just as a good dose of medicine is stop thinking about the people you need and think about the people who need you.

I'm gonna say that again. Stop thinking about the people you need and start thinking about the people that need you. There's a world full of hurting people that could use a compliment. Any single one of us can go out any day and we can be used by God. I mean in powerful ways, just by giving people compliments. They don't have to be people you know. They can be strangers. I mean, my goodness, how many people, elderly people, sit in nursing homes and never even have anybody to come by and say hello to them?

One of our partner care people told me the other day that he went to visit a woman in a nursing home that's been a $10 a month partner with us for 15 years. And he said she was so blessed and excited that it just was absolutely amazing. And so, there is something you can do besides sit home and be miserable, and the best way to get over feeling discouraged or depressed or whatever is to just get out and do something. So, maybe don't think about the people you need, think about the people that need you and if you get your mind off yourself, then God can bring what you want to pass because it seems almost like the more we chase what we want, the more it outruns us.

But the more we chase what God wants, every morning I say, "God, if there it's anything I can do for you today, show me what it is". And I always say, "Show me somebody that I can be a blessing to today". I don't think we should ever go through a day without being a blessing of some kind to somebody.

Ginger: That is great encouragement. And I think sometimes part of our problem in relationships is we've been hurt before. We've been hurt by relationships and sometimes we're trying to replace God by other relationships with what only God can give us because after we are hurt, one of the most difficult challenges may be forgiveness. So watch as Lisa shares with us about learning to forgive and love someone who just wasn't always there for her the way he should have been.

I grew up in an emotionally and physically abusive household. My mother was incredibly emotionally violent and then my father was detached. He was an alcoholic. I never knew what I was gonna come home to. I never knew what he was gonna come home like. You know what was so amazing is I still wanted a relationship with my father. When I had children, I began to think maybe now my father will engage.

And I remember there was a time period where John and I loaded up our four boys and we drove all the way down to go see my father, knocked on the door and my father didn't answer. And there was just this little note and he said, "I'm sorry, I changed my mind. I don't want to see you guys". I was like, God, you know, I feel like I am utterly and completely fatherless, not because I don't have a father, but because my father doesn't want anything to do with me or with us. He said, "Your dad has let go of any right to be your father". He said, "But baby girl, if you need something, you just call out to me".

And at that point, my expectations for my father changed. I was no longer looking for him to be what he couldn't be to me because I was getting that from my Heavenly Father. A year before my father died, my oldest son and I went and visited him. He was in an alcohol-related dementia center and I thought, what do I say to this man who is on the edge of eternity? This is what I heard, "Tell him he was a good dad". I thought, "No, no, I'm telling somebody on the threshold of death a lie. He was not a good dad. I'm not telling him that". And I heard him again the Holy Spirit said, "Lisa, he was as good as he knew how to be. Tell him he was a good dad".

So, I grabbed a hold of my dad's hands and I brought him up, you know, between us so I had full attention. And I looked him in the eyes, I said, "Dad, you were a good dad". He began to shake. It was like a thousand volts of electricity shot through that Sicilian man where he's weeping and crying and he formed the only two words he spoke the entire time we were there. He kissed the back of my hand and he said, "Thank you". And when he said thank you, my dad wept and cried over my hand and nodded as my son prayed him into eternity. And we put him to bed that night and that was the last time that I ever got to see him.

I don't know who it is you're afraid to love. I don't know if it's a father. I don't know if it's a mother. I don't know if it's a brother or somebody that violated you but I'm just gonna tell you that you will never ever regret forgiving other people. None of us deserve the mercy we get. We all deserve judgment and yet God gives us mercy, so how can we do anything less for others? Be courageous, and love, and forgive.

Ginger: Well, that story of forgiveness is the hardest one. I mean, all of us have been hurt in one way or another and it may not have been something like Lisa talked about or something like you've talked about, but it may be and there are a lot of people out there with those really deep wounds. But there are others that it's been a friend that's rejected us. It's been a coworker that's hurt us badly and if you hold on to those things, they fester and become that wound that can totally destroy our lives. Forgiveness is hard and you understand it.

Joyce: You know, I was just sitting here thinking, I bet that there's not very many days that go by in our life that we don't need to forgive somebody because, you know, you just got a lot of wounded people bumping into other wounded people and, you know, there's so much stress in the world today. And sometimes you even need to forgive somebody you don't even know, you know? You've been sitting waiting for a parking place. You got your blinker on and somebody zooms in and takes it knowing full well that, you know?

I just I made a decision a long time ago, I'm not gonna let those kind of people steal my joy. I just say, "I forgive you," and go on about my business. And we really need to be experts at forgiving and we need to do it quick. So, well, we're not finished today so don't go away, but right now I want to tell you about my book "Healing the soul of a woman".

You know, I wrote this because I want you to experience the beautiful redemptive healing power of God in your life, and we have a project called project GRL where we're working with women that have been hurt in many, many, many different kinds of ways, whether it's abuse, or abandonment, or they're not allowed to be educated, or they've been hurt by a man they were married to that left and got involved with another woman. I mean, the devil has endless ways of trying to hurt us. And actually, the devil hates everybody who loves God, but I think he's got a special hatred for women because it was a woman who gave birth to the Savior.

And so, I really like this book. Now, that might seem obvious since I wrote it, but I write my books and then I go back and read them trying to read it like a reader and when I got finished with this when I thought, you know, this is really good. And so, we want to offer this book to you for your gift to the ministry of any amount. Obviously, we ask you to always do the best that you can and all the proceeds are gonna go to project GRL. So, everything that you give is gonna go to help a woman that's hurting that needs to be rescued and needs to know the love of God. And so, we're excited about that. Now, Ginger, I think you've got another little story you want to tell.

Ginger: Well, you always talk about how hurting people hurt people. I think the opposite of that is also true that healing people with God's help can help heal other people. And so, that's why as you're talking about proceeds going to project GRL, we are able to help women right here in the United States who are watching your program that this will help provide so that they can hear the truth of God's word, understand their value and how much they're loved. We can help women in other countries who are so marginalized who don't have opportunities for education, who have to walk all day for water, and that's one of the stories that I want to share with everyone now.

The opportunity to really change a life is rare and this is one of those opportunities. There's a little girl named Maria, and she's in Tanzania in a very, very remote village and we met her when he went out there because we had first put a well in this area. And the girls, in particular, could never go to school because they were walking the entire day for water, and she was able to finally stop doing that because there was a well with clean water that was safe. She was able to go to school, and get an education, and she accepted Christ early and on fire for the Lord.

But when little Maria was born, she was sick and so as was the custom there, they took her to a witchdoctor and we have a picture of Maria that we'll show you. Maria went to this witchdoctor as a newborn infant and you see the gold earring in her ear right there, the witchdoctor put that earring in her ear, that little hoop, as an infant and told the family, "If she ever takes this hoop out, she will surely die".

And it was really a sign that she belonged to him. Well, after we were able to come in and give her this opportunity to go to school, and provide her with clean water, and tell her about Christ, she was growing and growing in Christ and was praying and was kind of still struggling in school and really felt that she was praying that God told her it was time to take out that earring.

Now, this is when we first met Maria and we knew that one day she would take out that earring, but it would have to be her choice. It wasn't something we could tell her to do. It had to be her decision. So, after praying about school and struggling, she really felt like God said, "Take that earring out". So, she decided to take the earring out and begin just flourishing. She's one of the top students in her school. She's a great witness to the entire village, so here she is now. Look at that big smile without the earring, flourishing, doing well. The entire village now knows that she no longer is branded by that witchdoctor that she belongs to God, and this is a great example of how Maria's life was changed, how we can help change so many other young girls lives by sharing the truth of God's word. We're really trapped in darkness otherwise.

And so, you know, I know there are so many people who are watching right now who feel they're trapped in that same way, and I really believe that God can use the book that you've written, "Healing the soul of a woman", to really help them. You gave me the chance to read it and it was really an encouragement to me. And I'm not one who has any of those deep wounds that are obvious, but so many of those little scratches, and gnarls, and scars that add up, it was hugely inspirational and just really encouraging to me. So, I think it's gonna help a lot of people.

Joyce: Well, I'm really believing that this is gonna be just like a manual for healing the soul and that God's gonna use this book for hundreds of years into the future. And so, I do really want to encourage you to get the book. I believe that you can use it, and I believe that you know people that you should get one for. And so, just thank you for being with us today, and always remember one of the greatest things that you can do is not only get help from God for yourself, but reach out and help somebody else. It's part of how we receive our healing. We have to trust God to heal us and then we sow seeds by working to help somebody else. You are now the hands and feet of Jesus and he needs you. Thank you for being with us today. We love you so much and we look forward to all the great things that God's gonna do in your life and your testimony that you're gonna send it in and tell us about it.