John K. Jenkins Sr - The ABC's of Family (01/24/2026)
Introduction to the Series on Family
I want to talk about family. Matter of fact, I want to start a series today about family. Amen. That’s what I want to do. And today the title of the message is «The ABCs of Family.» Say: the ABCs of family. I want to talk about the importance of family. Family is important. God designed the family for various reasons. And it is through family that character is developed. You learn how to be responsible. You learn how to share. Amen.
In family, I had to learn… I had to share the room with my brother. That life wasn’t all about me. I had to learn that. I had to learn that I couldn’t get upset 'cause my brother wore my clothes, 'cause my parents taught me they weren’t mine. I didn’t pay for the clothes, so they weren’t mine. So I didn’t have the right or the space to be upset 'cause he borrowed my stuff.
Lessons Learned in Family
Now, the reason this is important: I also had to learn how to be patient in family. You have to learn how to patiently wait for your turn. Amen. I see this is going to be a tough message here today. I can tell. If y’all can’t say amen to those preliminary points, it’s going to be tension for the rest of these points I got to make.
It is in family that you learn to build relationships. You learn how to get along, how to communicate, how to talk. You learn how to forgive. You learn how to properly treat. And the reason we have so much stress—see, the reason we have so much stress in church and on jobs—is 'cause people came from dysfunctional families.
If you don’t learn how to do stuff in family, then you can’t do the right stuff in church. You can’t do the right stuff in… Amen. Who said that? Let me come over here and preach to you. All right, let me just talk to you 'cause the rest of these jokers ain’t saying nothing. You’re encouraging me. Amen. I thank you very, very much. Yeah, I appreciate you. Thank you. Thank you very much. Amen. I love you with all my heart. Thank you very much.
Dysfunction and Church Issues
People unfortunately don’t learn the lessons in family that God wants you to learn. Yes, amen. And then you come to church, and now you can’t get along with nobody. Every ministry you join, there’s a problem with that ministry. Then now you talking about that church when you the only person got a problem with every ministry you ever joined.
So here’s what I found. Let’s go to Genesis 2. If you have your Bibles, I’m just going to look at several verses in Genesis chapter 2. It is through the family that God wants to demonstrate His power and His might. He wants to show His hand to your family, to your kids. I saw God work miracles in my family—not so much for me, but for my kids to see the powerful working of God.
It is around the family dinner table that you talk about the things that God did for you, where your children learn that there is a living, real, alive God. Amen. Yeah, that’s why family dinners are important. It’s important to tell your testimonies at the family dinner and tell them: here’s the miracle that God worked. Here’s how God answered my prayer. Here’s how God spoke to me.
The Decline of Family Dinners
It is around the family dinner… Right now, you know, families have disintegrated. It’s declined. I know those two words are real. And we’re no longer teaching our children, and they’re not hearing the stories of what God has worked. And instead of sitting around the dinner table and talking about what God did and what God said and what God did, everybody eats dinner in their own room at their own time. And the family doesn’t come together to hear about what God’s…
But that’s what God’s design for family was. God designed for the family to talk about the goodness of the Lord and to share the stories and to build character and help you learn to be responsible. I taught my kids while they were growing up that they had responsibilities. Yeah, you got to empty the trash. Josh, your job is to empty the trash. If you don’t take the trash out, I don’t know how you going to get the trash to the trash dump, but it’s going to be on you to get the trash to the trash dump.
I would tell Sarah: you have to wash the dishes. You are… your job is to wash dishes 'cause I sure ain’t washing them. It’s your job to wash.
The First Family: A Single Man
So I want to highlight to us this point. Now the very first family—this is important 'cause people have different descriptions of what family is—but God started with the first family started with a single man. Yes. See, I just… tension in the room. That single man is a family. From God’s perspective, a single person is a family. And it starts as a family.
So God… Look, let’s look at Genesis chapter 2, verse 8 here. Let me go ahead and start talking about this. I think it’s very important for every single person to understand. Everywhere the single people—where are the single people? Let me see what you look like. Single people need to understand that you don’t need a spouse to have a family.
Some of y’all think you got to have a spouse to be significant to God. You don’t need a spouse to be significant to God. A spouse don’t make you who you are. A spouse doesn’t give you status.
Significance Without a Spouse
I’m coming back to that point. Let me go ahead and talk about it while I’m here for a second 'cause some of y’all think you need to have a spouse to have a family or a spouse to be important. And you fail to realize or recognize that you don’t get married to somebody just so you can be quote unquote «have a family.» You are important to God whether you got a spouse or not. You are still important to God.
Come on, somebody say: go on, Pastor. You appreciate your teaching. From God’s standpoint, a single person starts it. It starts as a family. And in Genesis chapter 2:8—let me read this real quick—Genesis 2:8 says: «The Lord God planted a garden eastward in Eden, and there He put the man whom He had formed.»
Y’all see that? Here God created a man, put him in the garden… where? Put him in this garden in Eden. And He put the man whom He had formed. The key word in this passage is the word «put.» Now this is an important word: put. Because it says God placed him somewhere. God… Here’s what it really means: God deposited him somewhere.
He put him in the center of the garden. And that’s important because God put him in the place he needed to be.
God Places You for a Reason
I learned—here’s what I learned. I learned in life that God put you in an environment that’s going to be the best environment to help you become who it is and what it is He wants you to do. Thank you, Lord. That’s important. I don’t know if y’all got that.
Some of y’all bitter and you’re mad and you upset 'cause you were raised in a certain environment, raised by certain people. Didn’t like your mama. Didn’t like your daddy. Didn’t like your siblings. You got mad and upset because you don’t know who your daddy is. Whatever your environment is that God put you in, there’s a reason why He allowed you to be put in the environment that you are put in so that you can become what it is and who it is He wants you to become and to be.
Now it’s important for you to learn to recognize and thank God for wherever He put you—whatever family, whatever environment.
Personal Example: Shaping Through Environment
So I was telling in the earlier service: my son Joshua was here with his three kids. And I thought about the fact that my son Joshua is a phenomenal father to his boys. Amen. He got three sons, and he’s great. Now he’s a great father because his father was a horrible father. I was a terrible father to my older kids—so busy chasing significance and chasing importance and chasing building a church and chasing doing this and chasing doing that—that I was terrible to my older kids.
Thank God He gave me a chance to redeem myself with my kids. I missed a lot of things. But God put Joshua in this family with a father whom God knew would neglect him so that he would develop a sense of understanding the importance of being involved in his kids' life.
Do y’all understand what I’m saying? Go ahead, lean over, tell your neighbor: he preaching it better than you’re saying amen. Matter of fact, go ahead, look at that person next to you and say: you ain’t said one amen the whole time the pastor been preaching. You ain’t raised your hand. You ain’t clapped. You ain’t said nothing. And the pastor is preaching the truth, and you looking at him like he’s crazy. Go ahead, tell those jokers: amen.
Thank God for Your Environment
So what I want you to do—number one—is instead of being upset and mad and bitter about the environment that you were placed in, thank God for the environment that you were in. He put you there for a reason. Yeah, there’s some things about my father and my parents and my raising up that I didn’t like. But as I look back on it, I see that God had it there for a reason. It helped to shape me to be the person that I am.
So I want to start off by just talking about that and telling you: the circumstances you in may not be the one that you would have chosen, but God deposited you in that environment for a reason. Yes. And by the way, when God placed Adam—ooh, here’s a good point. This… ooh, ooh, this is so good.
When God placed Adam in the garden, he didn’t have a spouse 'cause God could have created Adam and Eve at the same time. But He didn’t. He created Adam first, which tells me: here’s what I know. When He put him in the garden, Adam had everything he needed.
You Have Everything You Need in God
And here you go, single people: He gave him everything he needed, which—if everything was in it—it was what he needed. And what he didn’t need at that time was a spouse. All right. Some of y’all are reluctantly clapping on that point right there.
No, God… He didn’t have a spouse, which tells me this—this is important. You need to know that you have everything you need when you have a relationship with God. I’m running ahead of myself, but let me go ahead and say this: some of y’all are in trouble because you don’t know how to have a relationship with God.
And so… Oh, okay, hold up. Slow down. Slow down, Pastor. I get so excited. I want to go on to the next point so fast. I’m trying to get… Okay, let me slow down. I’m running ahead of myself. Slow down.
So he had a relationship with God. God was communicating with him. There’s nothing greater than having a life where you can talk to God and God talks back to you.
Relationship with God
Do you understand what I’m saying? You talk. You share your burden. You share your heart. And God supernaturally speaks back to you so you know that it’s God talking to you 'cause you ain’t talked to nobody but God about whatever it is that you talked about. And here He comes along, and in some way, some manner, some posture, He speaks back to you. And you know that only God could have known that you were praying and concerned about this.
He sent somebody into your life to talk to you about it. Somebody… You hear a sermon somewhere. You go somewhere, and you hear the very thing you’ve been talking to God about. And you know it’s God communicating back to you.
So that’s the number one thing you need. And some of you in trouble 'cause you haven’t learned how to have a relationship with God.
Contentment in God Alone
Now I’m running ahead of myself, but let me go ahead and say this while it’s on my mind because it keeps coming back to me. And this is important: some of y’all don’t know how to have a relationship with God or don’t have a relationship with God. Don’t learn how to be content with God. So now you go off and try to find somebody to satisfy you. And you don’t recognize that no human being can satisfy you like God can satisfy. Amen.
Do y’all got that? I mean… Okay, let me slow down. Let me go ahead. Let me give you three points: the ABCs of family.
Genesis 2:15—listen, go there for a minute. Then here’s verse 15: «Then the Lord God took the man and put him in the garden of Eden to tend it and keep it.»
God put the man—He made the man, put him in the garden, deposited him in the garden—and gave him a… Here’s the A: an assignment. God gave him an assignment. And the assignment was to tend and keep the garden—to work the garden, to protect the garden.
A: Assignment
That’s an assignment. Single ladies, okay—don’t shout too loud. Hold on. If you looking for a man, find out: does he have an assignment? Do you have a job? That’s what I need to know. Do you have a job? How—by the way—how long have you had the job? That’s right. How many jobs have you had in the last two or three years? Anybody who can’t keep a job is a problem signal right there. It’s a problem.
Now let me tell y’all something. If First Baptist Church of Glenarden fires me, I got a job. I have an assignment. I’m the pastor of the First Baptist Church of Glenarden. I have a job. I have an assignment. And if they decide—if they lose their minds and fire me—I’m not going to sit around for years and wait on somebody to hire me. I will create my own job.
I’mma tell you right now: if they decide they don’t want me to be here no more, right across the street, I’m going to set up the Second Baptist Church of Glenarden. I’m telling you right now. Service will be at 9, 11… So you can come here at 8 and say: ah, I don’t know if this new joker going to make it. Let me go to 9 and see what pastor’s doing. I’m telling you what I’m going to do.
That’s right. I’m a creator of job. I ain’t going to sit around and wait for years for somebody to give me a job. Having an assignment—I have a destiny, a call, a gifting, anointing, your talents. When somebody fires you, your talents don’t disappear. When God gives you gift, your talents are still there. Woo. I’m preaching better than y’all are saying amen.
Yeah. I’m not going to sit around and wait for somebody. And I ain’t going on welfare. Y’all excuse me for just a second. I am not going on welfare. I ain’t seen nobody clap on that one right there. But y’all was clapping before. Yeah, yeah. I’m not going to do that. Somebody say: assignment.
B: Boundaries
Here’s second point: verses 16-17 of chapter 2. Genesis 2:16–17: «And the Lord God commanded the man, saying, 'Of every tree of the garden you may freely eat; but of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil you shall not eat, for in the day that you eat of it you shall surely die.'»
Y’all see that? The B in ABC stands for boundaries. Amen. Amen. You got to have boundaries. Life is filled with boundaries, restrictions, limitations, limits. Everybody’s got boundaries. Everybody’s got to learn to live within those boundaries.
We live in a culture today where people don’t want no boundaries. They don’t want no boundaries. They want to have the freedom to do whatever it is they want to do. That’s not the way life functions. It’s boundaries. Boundaries.
You have boundaries, limitations, restrictions. And Adam was given a restriction. Now all these trees, all this fruit—here, you can eat. But now this tree there—leave that tree alone. Don’t mess with that tree.
Importance of Boundaries in Relationships
And y’all need to see: what kind of boundaries, what kind of limitations has this person that you are thinking about marrying? Do they have… What kind of limitations, what kind of restrictions?
So you got to… By the way, you should not be dating anybody who you would not consider marrying. I don’t know why I feel a little limitations in those claps. This is almost like it’s not enthusiastic. It’s like: oh.
You should not be spending time with anybody who you are not considering marrying. I feel tension in the room. I know y’all came to church together today, but don’t get up and leave right now. There should be some boundaries. Amen.
You ladies, you should tell your man: don’t call you after a certain time at night. Right? Ain’t nobody clapping in this section right here. Not a single person in this section right here put their hands together 'cause once you call after a certain time, that sound like a booty call to me.
They still ain’t clapping. Look at them. They still… Oh, y’all married? Married now? All of y’all ain’t married. Restrictions, limitations, boundaries.
Boundaries from God
And by the way, those are boundaries that should come from God. Amen. Yeah. Somebody say: some boundaries that come from God. Tell your neighbor: some boundaries that come from God.
Boundaries that… There should be some boundaries, some limitations, some restrictions, some limits. And God gave Adam some limitations, some restrictions, limits. And life—that’s how life is. Life has limits. Amen.
Anybody that has no limits, anybody that has no restrictions, anybody that can’t be told they can’t do something—they are out of control. If a person can’t respect your limitations before you get married, they won’t do it after you get married.
I feel tension in the room. Y’all don’t like this kind of preaching, do y’all? I don’t know why I’m feeling something over here in this section right here. Limitations. Do you have limitations? Do you have restrictions, limits?
There ought to be some barriers and boundaries 'cause the God we serve gives us boundaries. He gave the Ten Commandments—are boundaries. They’re parameters. Amen. That’s right. Yeah. They’re boundaries of what you should do and what you shouldn’t do. And you should govern your life by boundaries that God’s given to you and given to us. Somebody say: amen. Amen. Amen.
The world wants no boundaries.
C: Companion
Here’s the third thing, and I’ll be finished. Verse 18: «And the Lord God said, 'It is not good that man should be alone; I will make him a helper comparable to him.'»
Now this is very, very important. The Lord God said: it is not good for man that man should be alone. Now notice what He did not say. He did not say… Well, let me back up. When God says it’s not good for a man to be alone, He did not say that he would be lonely.
Listen carefully. Listen carefully. When a person… See, God gives us emotions, and those emotions are designed to be an alarm system for us. That’s what emotions do. It’s God’s way of giving you an alarm that something’s out of whack.
And when you feel lonely, it’s an alarm that you have failed to spend time in the presence of God. Amen. Amen. Yeah, this is good. This… 'Cause when you learn how to commune with God and have a relationship with God, you don’t need another person in your life in order…
Loneliness as an Alarm
And the problem is a whole bunch of us in here are trying to fulfill the emptiness that we have or the loneliness we have inside by people. And here’s the fact: no person can satisfy what only God is designed to satisfy. Oh, that’s so… That’s good. That’s good right there. That’s good. That’s important.
It’s important that you understand that. No… And see, the problem: some of y’all are marrying people thinking that they going to have the capacity and the ability to be able to satisfy something in you that only God can satisfy.
Stop trying to put another human being in the place of God. They can’t meet that. They can’t do that. Some of y’all been set up for failure 'cause they thought you were going to do what God can do.
There are some things that only God Himself can do. You got to learn to walk with God and talk with God and commune with God and fellowship with God and worship God and hear from God. You got to learn to do that. And no human being can meet that need.
Go ahead, tell your neighbor: he preaching better than you’re saying amen. I’m preaching today, baby. Amen. Did y’all hear what I said? Yes, sir. What did I say? Nobody… God. You looking for that joker—he don’t even know who he is, let alone you looking for him to satisfy and fulfill what only God can fulfill. Amen.
Ready for Marriage
It is my belief and conviction that you’re not even ready for marriage until you’ve learned how to commune with God by yourself. Amen. Go ahead, tell your neighbor: you ain’t ready to see means companion, but you ain’t ready for a companion till you learn how to walk with God.
Now let me say this—I forgot to say this at 8, man. I cheated the 8:00 crowd out of this, man. Wish I could go back and tell them. When God say it’s not good for a man to be alone—here’s what that word «alone» means. Here’s what God said: it’s not good for the man to be the chief of a city by himself. That’s what it means. It’s not good for him to run the city by himself.
Now having said that, I learned that I need to govern my family not just by what I feel. I have to take into consideration what my wife feels 'cause she brings something to the table that I don’t bring to the table. She made our house a home. Amen. Yeah. She brought to the table dinner 'cause I can’t cook.
Come on, come on. Look at me for just a second. One time she went on the first women’s retreat—I don’t know, this must have been about 30 years ago. And I was, you know, babysitting the kids. Babys… Yeah, you know, when men are at home, they babysitting their kids.
Around 9:00 at night, the kids said: Hey, Dad, are we going to eat? How we going to eat today? It hadn’t even crossed my mind. Wow. That’s why I need her. I need her. Oh, I need her. Feed me now. She bring something to the table that I don’t bring.
Motives for Marriage and Closing
Now let me close. I got 3 minutes. And I’m going to challenge people to understand the motive of why you get married or why you look for a spouse—not just 'cause you’re lonely 'cause that’s a signal that you don’t know how to get along with God. That’s what lonely means. That’s not why you get married.
You’re ready for a spouse when together you can better glorify the name of God as a couple than you would as individuals.
Now we live in a day and age with people today—now this new generation—they done seen so much dysfunction in marriage, they don’t even want to get married. So they… I don’t even know if that’s the word they use today. What do they call it today? Do they still call it shacking? Cohabitate? Life partners without the commitment for life. That’s not good.
Hey, when I was growing up, if you lived with somebody you wasn’t married to, you kept it secret. Yeah, 'cause living together without being married was considered a sin. And by the way, it still is a sin. It still is.
Cohabitation and Invitation
And some of you going to have to answer to God that you cohabitated. You know what they say to me now: but Pastor, we sleep in separate rooms. You know what I want to say? Liar, liar, pants on fire.
It’s not where you sleep. Somebody asked me today after the first service: but what if he sleeps in that room and she sleeps in the other room? Yeah, and the problem is it’s just a matter of time before your flesh yields to temptation. It’s just a matter of time.
And by the way, it really don’t matter where you sleep. You can sin just 'cause you don’t sleep there. Don’t mean you ain’t sinning. Y’all ain’t hear what I’m saying. Just 'cause your clothes ain’t there don’t mean that you’re righteous.
I’m feeling something right over here right now. I’m just playing with you, man. I’m just playing. Maybe it’s over here. Back over… What am I feeling? My spiritual radar. The Holy Ghost is…
Now I forgot to tell y’all something else too. I’m finished. Oh Lord, it’s after 11. Next Sunday is youth Sunday, and I have a message—an illustrated message—especially for kids and teenagers and young adults. So bring all the people you know that’s young and those who think they’re young. Go ahead, tell your neighbor: come next Sunday.
Now I’m finished. Go ahead, lean over and tell your neighbor: that was good, Pastor. That was good.
Altar Call and Prayer
Here’s the point I want to highlight to you today: how important it is for you to have a personal relationship with God. No human being can meet the need that only Jesus can meet in your life. No human… A lot of y’all got tricked and got drawn into a relationship 'cause they thought you were going to meet their needs. You cannot meet another human being’s God need.
And so the greatest thing you can help a person do is develop and cultivate a relationship with Christ. It’s the greatest thing you can do—is help a person know Jesus.
If you here today, you don’t know Jesus, you can get to know Him right now. God can make Himself known to you. And if that’s you—if you don’t have a walk with Him—just stand up. Come on down here. We going to shout and give God the glory, and we’re going to introduce you to Jesus. That would be the best, the greatest thing.
Go ahead, lean over, ask your neighbor—tell them: go ahead, tell them if that’s you, you need to go. I’ll walk down there with you. You don’t have to walk by yourself. Just get up and come down here and say: you know what? I want to get right with God. He has made it possible for you to be forgiven of your sins—whatever you did, whatever you walked in, whatever behavior you had, whatever wrong you did. We serve a Savior who will forgive you of your sins. Come while the blood is running warm in your veins. Come.
Or maybe you’re backslid and you drifted out of fellowship with God. You got saved, but you’re not walking with Him. This is the time you can get to know the Lord and have a relationship with Him right now. You can rededicate yourself. Come right now.
Or maybe you’re backsliding and you want to get right. Or maybe you’re unsure—you want assurance. Come. Or maybe you are saved but you don’t have a church home. Right now is the time to come. This is a church that will welcome you. Come right now. Come. Come. Come. Come now. Come.
Give the Lord a shout for these souls here today.
Father, I thank You for these who have come. They have responded to Your voice, and I give You praise for every last one of them. Pray that You manifest Yourself, that their faith be extended to You. Let them accept the forgiveness of sins that You offer. Give them a heart of repentance. Fill them with Your Spirit. Plant them in Your vineyard, oh mighty God. Change the nature of their lives and their relationships that You get all of the glory and all of the honor. In Jesus' name, amen.
Wonderful Jesus. Mighty God. Excellent. Excellent. Excellent. Excellent. Wonderful. Wonderful. Praise the Lord. Excellent. Amen.
All right, y’all have a great day. The Lord bless you and keep you. Make His face shine upon you and be gracious unto you. The Lord lift up the light of His countenance upon you. Give you His peace. In Jesus' name, amen.