John Hagee - Resurrection of Romance
I want you to listen closely. Many people think the Bible is a litany of stuffy rules and oppressive regulations, certainly no romance in this book. That's very wrong. I want you to turn to the book, Song of Solomon 1:2, and follow this romantic, lusty, breath-taking portrait of romance in marriage. Are you ready? The Song of Solomon is a love song between a man and a woman. Now in this generation of confused sexual identities, we already have a controversial story. You'll get it later. This is a love song that saturates the story with heart-stopping passion. This is a drama of a shepherdess shulamite, who is pursuing her lover and her lover is pursuing her.
Chapter 1, verse 2, "Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth: for your love is better than wine". The fact is wine gives you a buzz. These kisses were not pecks on the cheek. They were lip-locked, breath-taking, heart-stopping eye poppers. Can you remember when that used to happen? Or can you remember that far back? "Because of the fragrance of your good ointments.."., that's talking about Old Spice, Brut, Obsession, whatever it is in heaven's name that you wear, "Because of the fragrance of your good ointments, therefore the virgins love you". Verse 7, shulamite says, "Tell me whom I love (love of my life), where do you feed your flocks? Where do you rest at noon"?
Message: game on. Where are you? Where do you rest at noon? I'm coming for you and I'm not wearing my veil. No hose are borrowed here. Verse 13, it's night time. Shulamite says, "My cologne sends forth its fragrance. A bundle of myrrh", back to the old spice, the brut and the obsession. "A bundle of myrrh is my beloved to me that lies all night between my breasts". Lights out. All night, wow. Who needs Niagara or Viagra with that kind of thing? When is the last time that happened at your house? Don't pass out. You can't remember that far back. Verse 16, "Behold, our bed is green". Hebrew custom is to sprinkle sweet-smelling herbs on the bed, not for watching television till midnight, but anticipation of sexual desire being fulfilled.
Chapter 2, verses 4 through 6, "He brought me to the banqueting house, and his banner over me was love. Slay me with flagons, comfort me with apples: for I am sick of love," meaning love sick. "His left hand is under my head", listen to this, "And his right hand doth embrace me". He had her in a headlock. Hum. Tie. Chapter 3:1, "By night on my bed, I sought him whom my soul loveth. I sought him but I found him not". Her lover got up and left in the middle of the night. "I'm going to arise now and go into the streets of the city and in the broad ways. And I'm going to seek him whom my soul loveth. I sought him but I found him not".
If your husband got up in the middle of the night and left, would you go seek him out? Probably lock the door and say, "He'll be back when he gets ready". Verse 3, "The watchmen that goes about the city found: to whom I said, have you seen whom my soul loveth"? Verse 4, "It was but a little while that I passed from them, but I found him whom my soul loveth. I held him and would not let him go, until I brought him into my mother's house, and into the chamber of her that conceived me". She has him in her mother's bedroom. And the next thing you can read today when you go home by yourself, because there are children in the audience that can't stand this love. Wow.
Let's go to John, chapter 11, verse 14, where we're talking about Jesus and Lazarus. "Jesus said unto them plainly, 'Lazarus is dead.'" Say that with me, Lazarus is dead. Verse 25, "Jesus said unto her, 'I am the resurrection and the life. He that believeth in me, though he were dead, yet shall he live...'" What do these two verses have to do with each other? This is about the resurrection of your marriage. This is about the resurrection of your shattered dreams. This is about the resurrection of romance that has died, twice dead. It begins when you make contact with Jesus Christ, who is the resurrection and the life. He has all power in heaven and in earth. And there is nothing that he cannot do that will not bless you, and change you, and give you a new beginning if you're willing to do it. Let's pray together.
Father, thank you for this day. Thank you for the word of God with all of its power, and all of its truth, and all of its revelation knowledge. In Jesus' name, let us be blessed by it today. And all of God's children said, amen.
You may be seated. In the ministry of Jesus, his friend Lazarus had died in chapter 11. So what does a dead man have to do with my marriage? Because some of you have a marriage that's just as dead as Lazarus. Jesus walked toward the tomb of a dead man. His obituary had been carried in the newspaper three days before. His family and friends stood by sobbing. As Jesus approached the tomb, he raised his voice and shouted, "Lazarus, come forth"! Why did he identify him by name? Because if he had not, every dead person on the planet would have come back to life, because Jesus is the resurrection and the life. Think about that.
Today I'm looking at marriage relationships that are dead or dying, marriages where love is as dead as Lazarus' corpse. Yesterday's hopes and dreams have been assassinated by hateful words, marriages bound in bitter memories, marriages bound in adultery or betrayal, marriages bound in rejection or outright neglect, marriages bound and destroyed by abuse and/or abandonment, marriages where all meaningful communication is a dull memory, marriages where the husband has refused to be the provider and the protector and the priest of the house. Today I'm walking toward the tomb of your dead or dying marriage. And I'm saying to you as Jesus said to Lazarus, "Come forth". Live, in the mighty name of Jesus.
Your marriage can be a better marriage. Your marriage can recapture its fire and its passion. Your marriage can have a resurrection of supernatural romance, fresh fire from the altars of heaven, fresh hope from yesterday's destroyed dreams, trust, new love from rejection. Can I get a witness? Give the Lord praise in the house. Now listen to this. There are no perfect marriages. There are only marriages in the process of becoming better or bitter.
Four major reasons why marriages die:
1. Poor communication. I'm going to talk about this in depth the next two weeks, poor communication. Communication is when you and your wife can tell each other how you feel, what you really think, what you really love, what you honor, what you esteem, what you detest, what you desire, what you hope for, what you believe in, what you're committed to without starting a war. And if you can't do that, your marriage is stagnant and will die.
2. Words are a transcript of the mind. Matthew 12:34 says, "Out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaketh". The Bible says, "By our words, we are justified or condemned, and will answer for every idle word that we speak". Words are very, very powerful. Be careful what you say to your wife or to your husband about your wife or your husband, because God is listening. And God is saying, in this book, in the day of judgment, you're going answer for every word that you have spoken. And by every word that you speak will you be justified or condemned.
3. Marriages die for lack of passion. Has your marriage lost its passion? Turn off the television. Again, turn off the cell phone. They are not your adopted children. Turn off the lights. Reach for the cologne. Read the Song of Solomon.
4. Marriages die because of poor money management. Simply stated, stop spending more than you make. There are some of you driving mercedes automobiles, living beyond your means, and your marriage has become a war zone over money. I advise you to sell your mercedes and get yourself a sway-back mule. Your marriage and your children are more important than the possessions you have. Get on a budget and stay on the budget. And stop spending more than you make. The book of proverbs 22:7 says, "The borrower is servant to the lender". And some of you are slaves to American Express.
The road to marital happiness begins when we accept our God-given differences. 1 Peter 3:7 says, "Husbands, dwell with your wives according to knowledge: that your prayers be not hindered". Now I spoke about this several weeks ago. The fact is that if you, as a husband, abuse your wife, when you pray, your prayers are hindered. The old English word in the king James is "Let". It's like a tennis ball that hits a net and falls down. God says if you, as a husband, are abusive towards your wife, when you pray, your prayers don't clear the room. The fact is, before marriage, opposites attract: after marriage, opposites irritated. Women's faults are many. Men have only two, everything they say and everything they do. Men are different. Women are different. And you have to understand and accept those differences to have a successful marriage.
Here are four differences you must learn to accept
1. The woman in the right-brain caring versus the male in the left-brain logic, caring/logic. Now this is a medical fact. In 1981, Dr. Roger Sperry won the Nobel Prize in medicine and physiology for his break through study on how the brain functions in male and female babies. Dr. Sperry discovered that between the 16th and 26th week of gestation, boy babies have a chemical reaction in their brain that girl babies do not have. Two chemicals are released that slow down the development of the right side of the brain, which is the caring side. Get that.
Dr. Sperry found out what all women already know that all men are born with brain damage. Apply that to marriage problems. Trying to solve a marriage problem through pure logic or pure emotion is a disaster. Neither logic from the man, nor total emotion from the woman is the basis for settling a marriage dispute. The only basis is the word of God because men are not always right. Women are not always right. But God's word is always right, always right. This is the truth. This is the answer. This is the roadmap to an exciting marriage. The Bible says, "Dwell with them according to knowledge". Say that with me, dwell with them according to knowledge.
Now listen to this. Here's the line wives use that hurt marriages more than any other. "When he changes to be like I want him to be, our marriage is going to be great"! Wrong, wrong, wrong. Read my lips, no it won't. Why? Because she will transform you, mister, into a right-brained creature, which by any other definition is a woman.
2. Enjoying the process versus accepting the goal. Women enjoy the process of reaching a goal. Men want to get to the goal as soon as possible. Forget the process! I want to get to the goal. Women love to smell the roses. Men will stomp the roses to pulp if they can get to the goal quicker.
3. The spiritual authority versus feminine intuition. Please understand that this is a Bible teaching: it is not my opinion. Ephesians 5:23, "For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church". Husband, it's your God-given assignment to be the prophet, the priest, the protector, the provider, and promise keeper of your house. Those are five words, which deserve a 40-minute sermon. I'll not go down that road. Only a spirit-filled woman can submit to her husband's lead. I want to make that very clear. Why? Because it is the natural nature of a woman to lead by manipulation if she can, because that's the Adamic nature that Eve had in the Garden of Eden when she was talking to Adam. And God said to Eve, "Your desire shall be to your husband". The word "Desire" in the Hebrew has nothing to do with sexual desire. It's the Hebrew word "Teshuqah," which means to rule or to dominate. The Genesis curse is the woman will try to dominate, but she will not because your husband is to have the authority over you.
4. The days of wine and roses versus the days of thunder and lightning. Within the body of every healthy woman, who hasn't reached menopause or had a hysterectomy, is a cycle known as ovulation. It's called, "The curse" in the book of Genesis. That means 14 days of chemical balance, the days that I call "The days of wine and roses," and 14 days of chemical imbalance, which I call "The days of thunder and lightning". Moods change dramatically, unexpectedly, instantly.
One day a man comes home and his wife is waiting at the door dressed in a negligee with a rose in her mouth. He scoops her up in his arms, then carries her off to the bedroom. I refer you to the Song of Solomon. The next day, with his left-brain logic in high gear, he gets off from work early. He hurries home for a repeat performance, only she's not at the door. She's not in the kitchen. She's not in the living room. Finally he spots her huddled in a chair in the den, crying her eyes out. He walks over and he extends his hands to comfort her. And she looks at him and snarls like a junkyard dog, saying, "Get your hands off me, you big ape! That's all you want is my body"! What happened? The days of thunder and lightning have started.
Seven things the Bible requires to resurrect a dead marriage
1. Forgive and forget the past. Say that with me, forgive and forget the past. The Lord's prayer, "Forgive us as we forgive those".
2. The husband is the king, the priest, and the prophet of his family.
3. Realize that total submission is in the Bible. It is mutual submission. Hear that? It is mutual submission. Ephesians 5:21, Paul writes, "Submitting yourselves one to another". Say that with me, submitting yourselves one to another. Husband, you don't submit to her lead, but you do submit to her need. If she needs for you to clean the kitchen, you clean the kitchen. If she needs for you to wash the dishes, you wash the dishes. If she needs for you to change the diapers on your baby, you change those diapers. If she needs for you to go to the opera, I don't care if you're a Willie Nelson Buff, go to the opera while your cowboy boots are dragging down the carpet. That's what she wants: that's what you need to do. And all the ladies said amen.
4. Eliminate the absentee father. You fathers, Ephesians 6:4, "You fathers, provoke not your children to wrath, but bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord". Fathers, it is not the state's responsibility to train your children. It is not the school's responsibility to train your children. It is not your wife's responsibility to train your children. It is your responsibility in the eyes of God to train your children in things that are spiritual. You do it! You do it! America's number one problem is the absentee father that has divorced himself from involvement in rearing his children in the fear and the admonition of the Lord.
5. Start communicating. Communicate openly. Communicate honestly.
6. Live in sexual freedom. The Bible says in 1 Corinthians 7:4, "The wife has not power over her own body, but the husband. And likewise, the husband hath not power of his body, but the wife". What does that mean? That means stop trying to control each other with a sexual relationship. Whew!
7. The Bible says the husband is to love the wife as Christ loved the church. "Nevertheless, let every one of you in particular so love his wife as himself, and the wife see", listen to this, "And the wife see that she reverence her husband". Underline that word "Reverence". It means to stand in awe. Husband, how would you like to go home from work, and your wife meet you at the door and says, "Awe, here he is, captain America, awe, awe, awe"!? It's possible when you live by the book.
Can you stand to your feet? As we bow our heads in the presence of the Lord, I want to pray for you, your marriage relationship, your family. I want you to listen to these seven statements.
How many of you in this room can say, pastor, I'm not satisfied with the quality of my marriage. I know it can be better and I'm willing to do my part to make it better. Think about that.
Secondly, you can say, my marriage lacks open and honest communication. You know you cannot talk to your wife or your husband about certain things without breaking into a verbal fight.
Three, my marriage lacks fire and passion. I want to rediscover that.
Four, I have never submitted to my wife's need.
Five, I have never accepted our emotional differences as God-ordained destiny.
Six, I am not the spiritual leader of my home. I do not pray with my wife and my children on a regular basis. And I promise before God today that I will.
Seven, I'm an absentee father and I'm going home today to be a promise keeper to my wife and to my children to be a godly and righteous father. If those seven statements, any one of them, apply to you, would you slip your hand up? I want to pray with you right now right where you are. Lift your hand high. That's 90% of this congregation. I want you to pray this prayer. You're watching by television, you join in this prayer.
Heavenly Father, in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ, I'm bringing to you my marriage relationship. I want the love of God to be restored in my marriage. I want for there to be open and free communication. Husbands, pray this prayer. Father God, I am willing to be the prophet, the priest, the provider of my house. Heavenly Father, from this moment forward, you are the Lord of our marriage. We will live by the dictates of the word of God. And so shall our lives be restored with a resurrection of godly romance, in Jesus' name. Amen.