Creflo Dollar - How To Never Be Hurt Again - Part 1
If you have your Bibles, go with me to the Book of Proverbs 18, and verse 14. I'm gonna read out of the New Living Translation and then the Message translation. This is our text. I was praying earlier this week about, all right, what do we do next in this series that we've been talking about, Grace-Based Relationships? And today may be one of the most important teachings that I've done in this series. It's a subject that's not foreign to your ears. I've taught on it before. But in light of the revelation that's flown through this series, God told me to begin to teach today on overcoming this area of hurt and how to never be hurt again. I didn't know how detrimental to a Christian life that hurt can be. And yet in relationships, you're bound to experience some kind of hurt, even when you deal with grace-based relationships.
And I never knew it was so dangerous. I never knew that the end result of hurt was to try to kill you and put you in the grave as soon as possible. And so, if you have been hurt by relationships or you're presently hurting from relationships, then you're in the right place today. And I pray, and I've already prayed, that your ears will be anointed to hear. That means you're not just gonna hear what I'm saying, but I believe that the Holy Spirit is going to speak to you as I preach. There's gonna be some things he's gonna say to you that didn't necessarily come out of my mouth. And so, you're anointed today to hear this message. And those of you who are streaming in, you are anointed to hear this message as well. In fact, those of you who are streaming in, hit that share button and tell people what I'm about to talk about. Tell them to get on right away, right away. This is going to be a day of great deliverance, amen.
I realize that when I hear on the news people shot somebody or something happened, it's not really because they're crazy, they're hurt. And a lot of hurt produces a lot of anger or if it's turned inward, it'll produce a lot of depression. And so, what we have is a generation that's hurting, and you will begin to see that unfold as we get into this today, how to never be hurt again. Is that possible? "Pastor Dollar, is that a reality how to never be hurt again"? And so, let's begin in Proverbs chapter 18, and verse 14. And in the NLT he says, "The human spirit can endure a sick body, but who can bear a crushed spirit"? Human spirit, he says, the human spirit, the real you can endure a sick body, but boy, a crushed spirit, that's another story.
And then the Message Bible he says this, "A healthy spirit conquers adversity, but what can you do when the spirit is crushed"? Now, the question wasn't asked to just indicate that there's nothing you can do, but to show you the seriousness of hurt and what happens. All of you are familiar with the little nursery rhyme, "Sticks and stones can break my bones, but names will never hurt me". You remember that? I can't tell you how much of a lie that is. It's just not true because names hurt, words hurt. Being lied about and lied on hurts. Being misunderstood hurts. And so, before I get into this, let's go to Proverbs 12 since we're in Proverbs. Proverbs 12:18, Proverbs 12 and 18, the King James first, and then the New Living Translation. Words hurt. And sometimes you look at people and they appear strong. Just 'cause they appear strong doesn't mean it didn't hurt. Everybody wants you to say nice things about them.
You know, when I'm all over the news and they're talking about something they don't halfway know about, it hurts. You have to be careful about getting on social media because when you hear those words, it hurts. You're hurt by somebody you don't even know. They do hurt. And so, we have to learn how to deal with it because the potential for hurt is all around us. Proverbs chapter 12, verse 18 says, "There is that speaketh like the piercings of a sword; but the tongue of the wise is health". He says there's a type of speech that pierces you like a sword. Look at this in the New Living Translation. The New Living Translation says, "Some people make cutting remarks, but the words of the wise bring healing".
Cutting remarks, have you ever been around, you know, someone who made a cutting remark to you? So, words cut, they hurt. So, throw away the little nursery rhyme, okay? Don't even let your kids say it. It's not true at all. So, one of the most difficult things people deal with in life is being hurt, very difficult. Hurt feelings rob us of so many of God's blessings. Hurt feelings will rob you. If we don't understand this today and if we refuse to deal with this today, you are allowing a robber to exist in your life, robbing you of what? Robbing you of the blessings of God. So, it sounds to me that this is a blessing blocker. Hurt feelings will rob you of God's greater blessings. So, before we can really move on in life, you must understand how vital it is to take hurt out before you can move on.
Now, a lot of people think, "No, I'm moving on in life. You know, I'm hurt, but I'mma move on". That's deception and I'm gonna show you why today. People think that they can build their lives on the foundation of hurt, and you can't. You have to deal with the hurt in order to successfully move on in your life or you're gonna be deceived in thinking that you moved on in your life when that's just not the truth. So, you don't want to build upon a foundation of hurt, why? Two reasons, because number one, if you start trying to build your life on a foundation of hurt, distortion is gonna enter in and you're gonna be distorted in the decisions you make, and your view of everything in your life is gonna be distorted. I need you to understand what I mean by when something is distorted. In other words, how you look at it from a place of hurt, it's always going to be a false perversion of what it really is.
To distort means to give a false perverted or disappropriate meaning to something. Distortion is a misrepresentation of something, distorting facts, for example. Distortion is about deception. It's when you look at something, your view of something will always be twisted. When you try to build a life on a foundation of hurt, when you look at things, you're gonna see things through the eye of a lie. It's never going to be the full truth. It's twisted. I like this synonym, it's bent. You look at every view in your life, it's bent. And people around you can't understand, why can't you see this like it really is? Because you're hurt and everything's distorted. Your decisions are gonna be distorted because you're trying to build things on the foundation of hurt. So number one, that's what happens when you say, "Well, I'm hurt, but I'mma go on". No, no, no, no, no. You don't want to try to go on without dealing with the hurt.
So, the second reason you don't want to build on the foundation of hurt is this area of bitterness. It will make you bitter. It'll make you bitter towards others, and it'll prevent you from going forward. You'll think you're gonna go forward, but it's gonna make you bitter towards others, and it's gonna prevent you from going forward. And that's the deception. Somehow in your mind you're thinking you're going forward. "All of this stuff happened. I don't know why this has happened to me. Why does that happen to me? And why is this not working the way it needs to work? And why? How come I'm not farther down the line where I think I should be"? Because, you know, you're bitter at so many people, the blame game shows up, and it prevents you from going forward.
I want you to look at this Scripture I found in Hebrews chapter 12, verse 14 and 15 in the ESV version. Hebrews chapter 12, verse 14 through 15 in the ESV version. Look at this. He says, "Strive for peace with everyone, and for the holiness without which no man, or no one, will see the Lord". Verse 15, "See to it that no one fails to obtain the grace of God; that no 'root of bitterness' springing up causes trouble, and by bitterness, many become defiled". Do you see those two things? First of all, bitterness causes trouble, and bitterness, those who will walk in it, the Bible says it defiles. You're not gonna be able to go on with your life and then become bitter at something and think it's supposed to turn out right. You're going to have to settle this in you're thinking.
I've got to deal with the hurt. And I'm saying to you who are here today and those of you who are streaming in live, you got to deal with the hurt. I have buried too many people who died with unresolved hurt, which is one of the reasons they died. Because hurt is designed, it is headed towards the grave. And I'm telling you today that you can never be hurt again if you'll understand what I'm saying. Look at 2 Corinthians chapter 5, verse 17 in the Amplified. 2 Corinthians 5:17. We must stop finding our point of reference in our past. We continue to find our point of reference in our past, and we gotta stop doing that.
My point of reference is not my past pain. And a lot of people find their point of reference in their past pain. "Well, you don't understand. The reason why I act like this is because, you know, I did this". Your point of reference is always your past, and we gotta stop finding our point of reference in our past. "Well, the reason why I'm not a happy person," and your point of reference is all your past. "Well, the reason why, you know, I'm divorced three times," and the point of reference is always your past. Can't you not see how the past pain, it's the past pain you keep referring to. The past pain will let you know you haven't dealt with it and then you keep going back. That's your point of reference, the past pain. People who have daddy issues, the past pain. You keep going back to that past pain. And 2 Corinthians says here's what should be your point of reference. "Therefore if any person is [ingrafted] in Christ, (the Messiah) he is a new creation (a new creature altogether)". And that's gotta be your point of reference.
Your point of reference has got to be, "I am a new creature. I am a new creature altogether and that's why I can be successful, and that's why I have overcome things in the past, and that's why I'm able to walk in love and forgiveness because my new point of reference is I'm a new creation in Christ altogether". "Old [previous moral spiritual conditions] has passed away". Those old, previous, moral dispositions, these things have passed away. "Behold, the fresh and the new has come"! Say that aloud. "The fresh and the new has come". That needs to be your point of reference. Don't reference the past pain, reference the fresh and the new. Reference the fresh and the new. The fresh and the new has come. Now, that's gonna, listen, the devil's job is whatever worked on you to cause you pain, his job is to try to bring it up and pour salt in the wounds. And your job is to say, "No, I ain't going there with you, bruh. I figure out how you play this game. I'm not going there with you. You just stuck that in my mind 'cause you're trying to take me somewhere I've declared I'm no longer there anymore". Are you listening to me?
Please hear me, folks. We must dismiss what people have done to us. No, I didn't' say you should, I said we must dismiss what people have done to us. It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter what it is. And I guarantee I probably, I bet you I've had more people do painful things to me than you, and we're not going to compare, but I bet you if I was a betting man. We must dismiss what people have done to us. It doesn't matter. What matters is our response. We've got to get to the point in our lives where we can never get hurt again. I used to think that's just not possible, that's just a fairytale, until I began to understand this study that that can be a reality in all our lives. You know, we've all been around people who are hurt. How many of you've been around people who've been hurt before? Okay, so you're gonna be able to say "amen" to some of the stuff I'm gonna show you because there's some things I want you to notice about being around somebody that's hurt. Number one, just three little quick things to notice about people who are hurt.
When you're around people that hurt, you can tell. You don't have to be in the spirit. You don't have to have a gift of discernment, you know? You just know what happen when you're around people who have been hurt. Number one, hurt people are unpleasant to be around. Nobody, when you think about hanging out with somebody, you don't want to hang around somebody who've been hurting all the time. They always talk about their past. Hurt people, think about it, hurt people you've been around, they're always talking about their past. They always want to, you know, they always want you to read their mind. Well, what's wrong? "What you think". Listen, my name ain't Cleo. I ain't got no crystal ball. Tell me. They always carry their emotions on their sleeves to get you to ask them about it so they can tell you about it. What's going on? "Well, you know, I know the Bible says this, but".
Now, get the "but" out the way and do what the Bible says. So, that's one thing you notice. The second thing you notice here when you're around hurt people, hurt, hurt leads to anger and if that anger is turned inward, it'll lead to depression. Hurt leads to anger and it sometimes turn inward producing depression. And so, what happens is when we feel hurt, we get angry. Anger is a hurt response. You hear about angry people in the world today shooting folks, mass shootings, all this kind of stuff, these people have been hurt. They are hurting and they've never learned how to resolve their hurt. And hurt people eventually display anger, and they begin to feel sorry for themselves. And they lose, they lose the initiative to fight off those negative feelings.
See, once you're hurt, then you're angry. And if that hurt is real deep, it's like, "You know, whatever, whatever. I'm hurt and I'm angry". And, you know, you can go to somebody and just say, "hey," and they'll cuss you and you be like wow. See, these days, you need to maintain your emotion. You don't know what you feeling right. You know how, all right, I'm gonna say you know how some of y'all be driving in the car, somebody cut in front of you, and you give them the only dry finger you got? You gotta be careful these days because people so hurt, they got a gun in they car. And you did that and they gonna speed up, and they gonna try to shoot you. A generation that's hurt, a generation that's depressed, a generation that's angry and depressed because of unresolved hurt, that they don't have the benefit of coming to a church and sitting down and getting, in all you're getting understanding sermon about how important it is to get rid of it. It weighs you down.
That anger and that hurt weighs you down and it produces depression. And guess what else it produces? It produces stress and stress is becoming the leading cause of premature death. You understand that? How many of you've ever been hurt before? Don't raise your hand 'cause I don't want to cast out no lyin' demons today 'cause there gonna be some little, pretty, little Christian, "I've never been hurt. As long as I've been saved". And that's the demon in you right now, that lyin' devil. Everybody in here has experienced hurt of some type, disappointment of some type, hurt that most of the time mostly occurred from something that happened in a relationship. But it's stressful. It's stressful in a marriage when words were spoken, and they were hurtful. It's stressful. I mean, it's so stressful.
I remember when Taffi and I, when we first married and we had our first silent fight. Everybody know what the silent fight is? "I'm not talking to you 'cause you hurt me, and I'mma walk around the house like I'mma be able to avoid you". And so, I was doing real good. And I had a habit of losing my keys all the time, and she had a habit of knowing where they were all the time. So, I had to say something. And I turned around and said, "You seen my". Man, that thing went on for several days, and I thought, you know, you know what? This is over. Let's just apologize and get it over with. And I noticed, I never forget this, when it was over with and we reconciled, I was so tired. The stress of that whole idea, ordeal just wore me out. Some of y'all don't know, some of you may have people know what I'm talking about, just exhausting, those silent fights. It's almost like a good cuss is better than walking around three days with a silent fight. Let's just cuss each other out real quick, get it over with. Nah, y'all don't do that. Y'all saved, sanctified, filled with the Holy Ghost, got Jesus on your mind and talking in tongues. Mm-hmm.
Here's another thing I want you to recognize about hurt people. Hurt people make bad decisions. They make bad decisions. When we've been hurt, we tend to make decisions to protect our feelings, instead of making decisions to protect our future. Think about that. When you've been hurt, you're kind of careful because you're gonna make a decision. "But I don't want to make that decision 'cause I could get hurt there". And that may be a good decision to protect your future, but if you're always making decisions to try to protect your feelings, instead of making decisions to protect your future, we gotta stop making decisions to protect our feelings, ladies and gentlemen. We gotta stop doing that. We gotta start making decisions to protect our future.
I like the last part of Luke chapter 10, verse 19. Let's look at that, Luke chapter 10, and verse 19. If you're always going around expecting to be hurt, and so even your decisions are governed by your fear of being hurt again, look at what he says here. This is so good. I just didn't even recognize it until recently. He says, "Behold, I give under you power, or authority, to tread on serpents and scorpions, and over all of the ability, power, of the enemy"! But here's the part, "And nothing shall by any means hurt you". I grabbed hold of that. Nothing shall by any means hurt me. So, I don't have to be afraid of making a decision to protect my, my future. I don't have to be going around making decisions to protect my feelings because nothing will by any means hurt you.
Say this out loud, "nothing, nothing, nothing shall by any means hurt me". And he told you why at the beginning. 'Cause you have authority over hurt. You have authority over the mastery of the enemy. You have authority over demons, serpents, and scorpions. You know, that's demonic powers. We kind of don't pay attention to that, demons, he's talking about demonic forces that are doing everything they can to hurt you. That's what their job is. They come up with a strategy to try to cause you hurt and try to cause you pain because every demon in the demon world knows that he can defeat a Christian who fails to use their authority and believe that nothing shall by any means hurt you. And you're looking at too many horror movies and thinking about demons coming out your walls, and all that thing, and all that hiding under your bed and all that kind of stuff. And those demons aren't doing that. They're trying to get you to locate the area of your pain and hurt so they can pour salt in that wound.