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2021 online sermons » Creflo Dollar » Creflo Dollar - Defining Masculinity - Part 1

Creflo Dollar - Defining Masculinity - Part 1

Creflo Dollar - Defining Masculinity - Part 1
TOPICS: Relationship, Manhood

If you have your Bibles, go with me to 1 Timothy chapter 2, and 5. 1 Timothy 2, and 5. We've been, for a while now, talking about grace-based relationships, and we've been talkin' about relationships starting with man's relationship with God, and we moved into man's relationship with one another, godly friendships, and now we're talking about marriage, the marriage relationship. And one of the things we discovered is that, if we're going to have marriages that work correctly, we've got to identify correctly and in biblical context what it means when the Bible says stuff like, "Man is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church".

We have discovered that that word "head" doesn't mean to dominate, nor does it mean to rule over. That word "head," it comes from a Greek word "kephale," which means "source," or you understand that, you know, God is the source that Jesus came from, and Jesus is the source that the church came from, but the woman, she came from man, and so man is the source of nourishment for a woman, just like God is the source of nourishment for Jesus, just like Jesus is the source of nourishment for the church. And the atmosphere that you come from is also the atmosphere that's responsible for providing nourishment.

If a cow comes from the dust of the ground, then he eats his food from that same atmosphere. If a fish is in the atmosphere of water, then his food, his nourishment is gonna be found in that same atmosphere. Well, so, likewise, if the wife has come from the man, then that man is gonna be responsible for being the faucet that flows the nourishment into his wife and into his family. And so we thought for a long time, as men, that to be the head was to be the boss, and that is not the truth. We thought that to be the head was to be the dominant party, the one who would rule over. God didn't call us to rule over anything. He called us to rule over creation, but he never called us to rule over one another.

And so we have been learning that a man has to understand what it means to be the head. And a man's got to understand that he's the faucet by which the love of God flows to his wife, and so, you know, we've been tricked as men because, men, the reason to come to church should be bigger in the life of a man than for anybody because you're the faucet, and if you got muddy water flowin' out of your faucet, ain't nobody gon' take a bath. And so we've been spendin' a lot of time really talkin' to men, not beating men up because, you know, none of us knew. Nobody told us, and so we took what we defined last week as toxic masculinity, and we lived by toxic masculinity, which is just strictly man law, and it messed the whole thing up. Right now, you got all kinds of crazy relationships goin' on in the world. You got, you know, sugar mamas, sugar daddies. You got all kinds of weird things goin' on, and none of it's based in God's Word, and as a result of it, you got a lot of painful, broken, hurt people because they don't know the plan that God has for marriage, the plan that God has for a relationship, and so Taffi and I thought we would take some time and begin to break this down.

Now, I thought I was finished with, you know, kind of, informing men of things. I was gonna start with women today, but I need to define masculinity, so today we're gonna talk about "Defining Masculinity". Now, somebody says, a woman says, "Well, what's that have to do with me"? You need to have a clear understanding of masculinity so you'll quit marrying a male and start marrying a man, but if you don't know what masculinity is all about, you'll keep marryin' a little boy somewhere and thought you were marrying a man 'cause they had the equipment, but the whole time, you've been hookin' up with males and not men, so we need to define "masculinity". And so I wanna start off by this. Jesus's life embodied true masculinity. Masculine leadership in marriage isn't an opportunity to be served. Masculine leadership in marriage is a calling to serve sacrificially. Masculine leadership in marriage is not an opportunity to be served, but it's a calling to serve sacrificially. Manhood is defined as sacrificial servanthood, and any man that is not a servant is just a male.

Now, I am gonna answer a question or a situation that came through the stream last week through our streamin' audience, which I thought I wasn't gonna deal with, but I think I will. You know, last week, a comment of two were made about the fact that "Well, Jesus is not a fair model for manhood because he's Jesus". And then they said, "And besides that, Jesus is not really a model of man because he wasn't married". Okay, so you know how I felt already, right? So you mean to tell me that all of us who are now married we're not men before we got married? Well, what was we? No, it's not havin' to be a husband to be married. You need to make sure you know what manhood is about before you become a husband, all right? And so you have to understand the only reason that God came into the earth as a man is so he could be a legal example of how to operate on the earth. So if anybody is a legitimate model of manhood, it absolutely would be Jesus.

Now, let me share some Scriptures with you. Jesus not only is he a perfect model for manhood, but, you know, he's a perfect model for somebody who was fully man but also fully God, showing us how to be men and how to operate with the Holy Ghost once he moves on the inside of your life. So we can look at the life of Jesus and have this great model of what we're supposed to be like. Look at 1 Timothy chapter 2, in 5, and here's what he says: "For there is one God, one mediator between God and men and the man Christ Jesus". So the Bible refers to him as "the man Christ Jesus". Now look at Hebrews chapter 4:15-16. Let's look at it in the King James, and then the NLT, and I'm gon' give you a huge list today. Hebrews chapter 4:15-16, in the King James and the NLT. He says, "For we have not a high priest which cannot be touched with the feelings of our infirmities or weakness, but Jesus was in all points tempted just like we are".

The difference is he didn't sin. Verse 16, "Let us therefore come boldly unto the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy, and find grace to help us in a time of need". So he says the grace of God is what helped Jesus as a man. "Let us come boldly to the throne of God," and let us ask for this same grace to help us in our manhood. Look at this in the New Living Translation. He says, "The High Priest of ours understands our weaknesses", see, he was a man. He understands our weaknesses, "for he faced all of the same testings we do". Seriously, you think Jesus was a man and walked on the earth and didn't have to, like, watch his eyes? Jesus faced the same tests that every man faced, "yet he did not sin". Why? "So let us come boldly to the throne of our gracious God there will receive his mercy, and we will find grace to help us when we need it the most". I'm tellin' every man in here, you have access to grace to help you in a time of need, amen?

Now, let mention this because how did Jesus show his humanity? I'm gonna give you the Scriptures for time's sake, but Jesus was born to a human mother. Matthew chapter 1:25. Jesus was born to a human mother.

Secondly, Jesus experienced hunger as a man, Matthew 21, in 18. Matthew 21, in 18, Jesus experienced hunger as a man.

Number three, Jesus experienced thirst. You know, you say, "Well, he's not fair 'cause he was God". No, no, he was all man. He was fully man but fully God. He experienced thirst, according to John 19:28.

Number four, he experienced temptation. Jesus experienced temptation. In Matthew 4, in 1, you see that. Jesus experienced temptation. In the garden, Jesus went through depression and stress. Why you think he sweat blood?

Number five, he experienced pain and suffering. In Matthew 16:21, Jesus suffered pain. So, he knows every man in here that's ever went through pain and suffering. Jesus knows. He suffered that pain.

And number six, he died. He died. Yeah, somebody say, "Oh, yeah, but he died". He just got up earlier than the rest of us. We all gon' get up too. But he died. In Matthew 27, in 50.

And so there is a difference between maleness, maleness and manhood. Maleness and manhood. You can be a male but not necessarily a man. But you're not a man until you become a sacrificial servant. And you need to know how to pick a man and not just a male. And sometimes women are so hungry just for a male. They get upset that they ain't got a man. So don't get upset with him and talkin' about "You ain't no man". You knew that when you met him. So if you're not serving others like Jesus, you're not fully walkin' in biblical manhood. If Jesus is the model for manhood, then, if you're not serving others, then you're not walking in biblical manhood.

Philippians chapter 2, verses 3 through 8, in the King James, it talked about how, you know, listen, if anybody's a man, Jesus is. You ain't gon' find nobody more manly than Jesus, nobody, nowhere. "Let nothin' be done through strife or vainglory, but in lowliness of mind let each esteem others better than themself". That's a man. "Look not every man on his own thing, but every man also on the things of others". That's a man. "Let this mind be in you, which was also in Christ Jesus". All right, the man Christ Jesus. What mind did he have in him? "Who being in the form of God, thought it not robbery to be equal to God," seven, "but he made himself of no reputation", that's a man, "He took upon himself the form of a servant", that's a man, "and was made in the likeness of men". There you go. He said, "When you become a servant, you're made in the likeness of men".

You're nowhere near manhood if you stand in the center of the circle, wanting to be served but not serving. And so, ladies, when you date a man who's lookin' for you to just give, give, give, and he wants to receive, receive, receive, and he's never serving you, you have a male in your presence, not a man, because there is no such thing as manhood without sacrificial servanthood. Our lack of proper education or manhood and credible role models has led to the deterioration of manhood, which has created a deluded image in our modern youth of what a real man should be. Therefore, as a result of this, toxic masculinity exists today in our society, which is a term used to simply describe the negative aspects of exaggerated masculine traits like, you know, "Men don't cry," "Men are strong at all times," "Men drink alcohol and do blood", "do blood", heh-heh. Sound like a vampire. "Men drink alcohol and do drugs". "Men like sports".

I know a lot of men who don't like sports. I know a lot of men who are creative, and they're artists, and they like that stuff. Is he less than a man because he's not falling within the man law of this exaggerated masculine trait? "A real man has big muscles," or "A real man has a lot of sex and money," "A real man has a sugar mama," "A real man is dominant," "A real man got two or three women at the same time, and they're all takin' care of him," and what he doesn't understand is, if you're bein' taken care of by three or four women at the same time, and you're not working, and you ain't got to do nothin' but lay up and provide sex when they come home, you don't realize you have been... let me say this right now. You have been castrated. Thank you, Brother Chris. Actually, you've been castrated. You've been robbed of the development of manhood, and you sittin' up, beatin' your chest, like it's good: "Look at me, I'm bein' taken care of by a woman". No, she has clipped you, and they're rollin' down the hill somewhere, and you don't even know it.

Lord help me, I need to stay right. You don't even know it. You can't reproduce nothin' because you've been so used to somebody else doin' it for you. You can't reproduce the support. You can't reproduce nothin' because you don't have the equipment no more to reproduce because you've been castrated by them women, brother. And so the overemphasis of these traits may lead to harmful imbalances in someone tryin' to live up to these expectations, a man tryin' to keep man law. And by him tryin' to keep man law and "men don't cry," then he becomes aggressive, and then he becomes sexually aggressive or wants to be in control, and he wants to control people, and he doesn't show any emotion, and he suppresses all of his emotions, and he's hypercompetitive, and he has a need to dominate and control people. He has a tendency, you know, to glorify violence. He's isolated, he's empty, he's entitled, he's a chauvinist, he's a sexist because he's tryin' to keep man law.

And some men just say, "That's just not me, so I need to 'fight or flight' or do somethin' else," 'cause you bought the lie. We've been tricked, men. We have been tricked. So I wanna spend the rest of my time talkin' about the characteristics of manhood. I wanna talk about, I shared, one time, "The Ten Commandments of Manhood". Now, you would think men take good notes. No, I'm sayin' women take good notes. You need to know a man when you see one. You've been tricked, and you ought to be tired of bein' tricked. No lasting relationship will ever be effective if you are marrying people based on the pocketbook and not based on the love and the commitment to serve you in your life. You ain't gotta clap. I wasn't expectin' no clappin' today. I was prayin' that y'all still love me after this sermon is over with.

The characteristics of manhood, let me say this first: I think right here we need to give a real definition of "masculinity". What is "masculinity"? The simplest answer is "being the man that God intended you to be". Masculinity is being the man that God intended you to be. If we talk about manhood away from the Bible, all you're getting is somebody else's warped opinion of manhood. Being the man that God intended you to be. No human or Hollywood interpretation can present the correct definition of "manhood". Instead, we must look at the overall big picture of "What does God want me to be like"? He created you. "What does God want me to be like"? Think about that. Well, where did humans come from? "Big Bang". No, no, you came from God. And what did God create you to be like? How're we gonna continue to look around, tryin' to capture definitions of "manhood" from Hollywood, from movies, and all that kind of stuff, and ignore the very one that created you? So let's look at some practical areas of manhood.

Number one, a real man puts God first. That sounds strange. That sounds strange because men don't come to church like they, I don't know if they've ever come to church, and I understand why 'cause, when I go to church, I got tired of bein' dogged out. I got tired of everything bein' my fault. I got tired of, you know, but I'm just hopin' that through teachin' this, some real men will grab ahold of it and help me spread the message of what real manhood is about, but there's no way you can be a real man if you don't put God first. This is by far the most important point. This is by far the most important characteristic. Since true masculinity is defined as whom God wants us to be, then the only way to become that man is to put God first in your life.

The world would never consider this part of true manhood, but, in fact, it far outweighs all other characteristics. It should be the one that is worked on the most, the characteristic that's worked on the most, putting God first, the one who is with you for the rest of your life. And by putting God first, you will automatically be on your way to building masculinity. By not putting God first, you're still wandering around in the deserts, tryin' to figure out what is a real man. And you keep buying all these fake definitions, and you keep listenin' to men who are males trying to define manhood. Think of that, listenin' to male-men. You see, real manhood, it consists of the knowledge of your mind. It consists of the worth of your character. It consists of the principles upon which you build your life on. We're talkin' about real manhood.

Number two, a real man respects everyone. We don't tear people down. We respect. And you're hooked up on a date with somebody that doesn't respect you. How is it that you're desperate to marry somebody that doesn't respect you, and you see his disrespect as a sign in the very beginning and still pursue to tolerate it? You would rather devalue yourself just so you can have a man? When you can see, because of his lack of respect for you, I mean, he's standin' at the door, waitin' on you to open the door for him. Let me read Philippians 2:3-4, in the NLT. Here's manhood right here, Philippians 2:3-4, in the NLT. He said, "Don't be selfish". And you went out on a date with somebody that clearly is self-centered. He's clearly all about himself, and there's a sign. There's a sign, once again. That's the sign. You saw that same sign in the previous date. You saw that same sign in the other date, and you keep askin' yourself, "Why do I keep endin' up with the wrong kind of man"? It's not, you just keep ignoring the signs.
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