Creflo Dollar - Overcoming The Fear of Disrespect
We're gonna take some time to talk about "Overcoming the Fear of Disrespect". Overcoming the Fear of Disrespect. And basically understanding the respect game, because it's a pretty big issue. If you've ever been in a place where you've been disrespected it really, really brings out that whole confrontation with inferiority. And it also brings out the reality of how much you value yourself. Will you allow yourself to consistently be devalued? And what I've learned is that the way people treat you, that's how they treat themselves. And you don't want to allow the fear of being disrespect to move you into a place where you're doing things that haven't even happened yet.
I won't allow myself to be a part of toxicity. I'm not gonna allow myself to be a part of any toxic relationship. And you need to value yourself not to a point where you're not considering other people, but it is very important that you find value in who you are. And so, we need to look at this. When a person shows respect for someone, then it means that that person has some value for him just by doing that. There's just something about being respectful. You know, you can't expect respect unless you're willing to sow it. Amen?
Now, his advice and suggestions are important for him. Respect is necessary to build positive relationships. And so if you treat them with kindness, they will be kind back. How simple is that? It doesn't cost much to treat people with kindness; then they'll be kind back. And you will encounter, you know, people who just don't do that. People who just, they got issues, they just wanna be mean. You now want to remember they're inferior. They're falling short. So, you know, this is coming as a result of it. It's like you know why people kind of do what they do. You look at 'em and you think, "Oh, they must be broken and stuff".
By understanding that, it allows you to approach it a whole lot better than just to respond to a disrespectful person that's coming at you a certain kind of way, making you feel a certain kind of way. You look at it differently as a Christ man. As a Christ man, you look at it like that's coming from somewhere. That's not really directed at me, that's coming from somewhere. There's something that this person has or is experiencing that's allowing him to, you know, show disrespect. And so I'm going to do something that he's not expecting, but I'm gonna respond in love, and I'm gonna respond the way he should respond to do that.
Now, the world we live in, of course, it's not like that, but we're the light of the world. We're not paying attention or allowing the world to determine how we act. We've got to rise up higher than the way that the world contends and to deal with these things. So, however, without self-respect, it's difficult to have honesty, confidence, and integrity. You've got to respect yourself; because if you don't respect yourself, guess what? If you don't respect yourself, not only will you disrespect other people, but you will allow other people to disrespect you all because you don't respect yourself. And so, when you do have self-respect then, you know, you're gonna have confidence. You're gonna have integrity.
So instead of a person without self-respect, they may feel the emotions of anger. This person that doesn't respect themselves, they're angry, they're full of guilt, they play the blame game, they're full of shame, they're full of regret. And they sport secretive behaviors, because deep down they feel unworthy. There's a reason why men walk around with no respect for self. And we know that goes back to that root of inferiority. But if you've encountered or are encountering anger issues, if you're walking around still in the guilt of your past, if you're playing the blame game... see, when you play the blame game, you openly admit that I have not yet accepted responsibility for my part in this particular situation.
The shame comes and then the regret comes. I mean, regret can be a difficult thing. I mean, regretting something that, you know, you can't go back and deal with, and then all of that. Then you got these secret behaviors, these things that you do in the booth, in the back, in the corner, in the dark, and it's amazing how you allow that false identity that you've created because you've covered this thing up. And that's what a secret is, it's the cover. You cover that thing up. It's given birth to that secret identity, and now you've got this secretive behavior that's really deep down. And you know what that does? That causes those feelings of unworthiness, inferiority again, okay?
So respect others and make them... this is a really harsh way to say it. I don't mean it that way; but, you know, I'm gonna put people in a position, well, where they're going to respect me. I told you, a man who is inferior has a false sense of superiority. And I've had to encounter that, especially this past year, that false sense of superiority. And I'm like, I don't rock with that. I said there's no way I'm going to disrespect myself, but at the end of the day, as you see me carry myself, and you see me do and say the things I do with confidence, and you don't see me going back to try to defend myself and to defend my words, and to walk in love and to walk in forgiveness and all that, you're gonna have to respect me, because you can't deny that I have risen above your fake superiority.
When you showed me fake superiority, you just showed me inferiority. Now I'm feeling sorry for you. And you think that you're impressing somebody because you're able to pretend that you have this kind of superiority. But don't let anybody cause you to disrespect yourself, especially when, you know, when somebody is walking around thinking that they're more superior than you are. You don't have to fight with nobody. Just like, watch my life. Watch how I carry myself. Watch how I rock. Watch how I forgive. Watch how I love, watch how I do something that you wouldn't do. It's hard, but I'll do it anyway. You might not want to admit that you respect me, but something gonna change. It's gonna be hard for you to continue to disrespect me after I responded to you in a way that you should have responded to me, 'cause I'm ministering to you. I'm ministering to you.
So respect others and make them to respect you through your respected and polished manner. I tell you, I was in a situation where I felt like I was invited somewhere, but I felt like I was being tolerated instead of celebrated. And you know, when you have a gift and an anointing and a calling, you wanna be celebrated for that gift and anointing 'cause you don't wanna be tolerated. And I had to put myself in a position, and I sat back, and I talked to the Lord and said, "What I'm gonna do"? And I said, "Okay, I'm gonna get my best suit". I'm gonna be sharp. I'm gonna look sharp, smell sharp, feel sharp. You understand? And then when I get up there, I'm gonna pray that God will help me to articulate myself, that I'm gonna explain things to detail and allow the Holy Spirit to do what needs to be done.
That anointing is gonna flow outta me. It's gonna affect the atmosphere. It's gonna do all the things. I won't be ashamed, but I will go forth exactly like the Holy Spirit said. Man, by the time I finished and doing what need to be done, the power of God hit that place. I didn't say nothing, and I wasn't letting nobody to say. I said, "Don't do nothing. Don't say nothing. Just receive his presence". People start falling out under the power of God. They fell out on the steps on the floor and stayed there 'til the next session. I didn't have to do nothing to try to make somebody respect me. All I needed to do is to walk in that which God has already provided for me. You know what I'm saying?
Some people, particularly the younger generation, they think that showing respect to someone means that you're degrading yourself. If I respect you, I'm degrading myself. They take respect as a sign of weakness or even inferiority, which could harm one's self-respect and especially within gang activities. You know, how do I deal with somebody trying to disrespect me? People have lost their lives because they have felt disrespected. "You're not going to disrespect me and get away with this. You're not gonna do these kind of things". And it became something that's like, what they're really saying is, "I'm not weak. I ain't no punk. You ain't going to disrespect me".
And their way of handling it, of course, it's the wrong way, but that's not how we do it, gentlemen. We don't have to shoot somebody, beat somebody up, you know, confront somebody violently out of that. And we're getting close to this fear of disrespect. Now, let's look at a couple of Scriptures before I go on. 1 Peter chapter 2 and verse 17. Let's read this in the NLT, 1 Peter 2, verse 17. He says, "Respect everyone, and love the family of believers. Fear God, and respect the king". It's pretty challenging for me when I read, "Respect everyone". But yeah, why not? I'm gonna respect everybody. It's gonna be, you know, "Excuse me, sir". I'm gonna always try to address somebody with, "Sir". I want them to feel respect when they come against me.
When they come towards me, I looked at the light, and I'm like, "Is somebody getting ready to sing? What's going on"? Trying to disrespect me, huh? But that's the key. We make up in our minds we're gonna respect everybody. I'm gonna respect everybody. I respect people that I know who have been slanderous towards me. They don't know it, but I know it. I'm like, "I'm still gonna respect you". I'm gonna respect everybody. I think that's the thing to do. I think it shows a lot about you, when you can make your mind up, "I'm gonna respect everybody". You know, "Hello, sir. How you doing"? You know, opening the doors for people. I'm gonna walk in respect. I'm not gonna disrespect anybody. Okay? Unless you mess with my wife.
Somebody says, "Well now, you respect everybody". I got one little thing that probably nobody really agrees with me about, but if you bring bodily harm to my wife, I feel like I am anointed to take care of you. "What does that have to do with respect to disrespect"? "I don't know what that has to do with it. I just thought I'd let you know that". All right, let's get back to this thing. "Respect everyone, and love the family of believers. Fear God and respect the king".
Now, let's look at 1 Thessalonians chapter 5, and verses 12 through 13. And one more, and I'm gonna look at respect versus flattery. 1 Thessalonians 5:12 through 13, "And we beseech you, brethren, to know them which labor among you, and are over you in the Lord and admonish you". Verse 13, "And to esteem them very highly in love for their work's sake, and be at peace among yourselves". That's pretty powerful. Look at verse 12 again. Let's look at this in NLT. Verse 12 and 13 in NLT, he says, "Dear brothers and sisters, honor those who are your leaders in the Lord's work. They work hard among you and they give you spiritual guidance. Show them great respect and wholehearted love because of their work and live peacefully with each other".
He's not talking about respecting your leaders because they wear a collar. He is saying respect them because of the work and the guidance that you have benefited from. That respect should be, you know, your response to that. And I just believe that when leaders and men and women of God, they do things that impact your life, then you should reciprocate that and respond to that with respect. Amen. Please don't take a bad situation you had somewhere else, and then bring that disrespect to every man and woman of God you ever meet, but they deserve that. You watch, you know, they watch over your soul, they provide you guidance. They open and enlighten you. You shouldn't make it hard for them to do that. They deserve your respect. Amen?
And look at Ephesians chapter 6:1 and 3. Ephesians chapter 6, verses 1 and 3. Let's just go straight to the NLT on that one, guys, if you can. Ephesians 6, verses 1 and 3. He says, "Children obey your parents because you belong to the Lord, for this is the right thing to do. Honor your father and your mother. This is the first commandment with a promise. If you honor your father and your mother, things will go well for you, and you will have a long life on the earth".
For those of you teenagers that are here, it's just something about honoring your parents. And it's something about older adult children, older adult children, that you're responsible for honoring your parents and taking care of them. That seems to be foreign in our society, how adult children need to understand the responsibility of taking care and respecting and honoring their parents, especially as they get older. In some societies, you will be put in jail. If they find out that you are unemployed and you have a parent, they will jail you because they say you should be responsible for maintaining a job to take; to give honor and to give care to that older person.
Now, in this country, you know, we take older people, the lady got five kids, and ain't nothing wrong with her, and they just, you know, stick her somewhere else where they don't have to go by and see her. That's dishonorable. That is dishonorable. If you have older parents, it's not just you taking care of your wife and your kids, but it's also being responsible enough to say, "I want to take care of, give honor and give respect to my parents as long as they're here on the earth". Listen, as long as I got a parent on the earth, as long as my mom is alive, I accept full responsibility for her care, for anything that she needs for my presence in her life. That means I show up to see her. You know, if I go too long without seeing my Mama, she'll let me know.
"You know, I ain't talked to you in a month. I know you're traveling and you're busy, but you need to come see your Mama". That's something that will, I believe that honor will produce honor in your life. That respect will produce respect in your life. It's not just the fact that, "Well, I honor my mother and father when I'm a teenager". And that is true, but you honor them even as adult children. Maybe it's a different kind of relationship, but it's still honoring them as adult children. I am blessed. I really am. I am so blessed that my kids have gotten a hold of that. They understand that, and it makes me feel good.
Now, I could be a little overbearing, like, you know, with Alex, my middle daughter, I'm like, "Hey, baby you gonna come to spend the night"? And she said, "Dad, I gotta go to work". I said, "You can leave from the house. Come on, come over here and spend the night here". But I'm blessed. Anytime I gotta go to get any kind of medical procedure or something like that, I mean, and I got both of my boys or the girls to go to, I mean, it just makes me feel like, "Wow, it was worth it all. It was worth it all to make stuff like that happen. It's a good deal". All right? And I pray the blessings over their life and the honor over their life.
And as a result of it, they're walking in the blessings of God and the honor of God because of that respect. I thought I'd bring that up because I don't ever want you to think, you know, "Mama, take care of herself. Daddy will take care of himself. Well, Dad is a man. He don't like that". Well, just 'cause, you know, I'm a little bullheaded, too. There's certain things I like to do on my own. But my kids, they like, "Well, I just intercept you. I know how you are". Praise God. That is setting yourself up to be blessed. I know I'm spending a little time on it, but this is important to me 'cause I just don't understand. Why is it that this woman who's given her whole life to take care of the five kids and all five of the kids are adults and living, what is that? What is that?
"Well, you know, I just can't afford it". Yeah, but all of y'all together can. Take those five fingers folded together. You make a force, you make a fist. Y'all can all put $20 in a week or something like that. Come on, man. Don't dishonor somebody that made it possible for you to be alive. You might not have liked it and stuff like that, but at least have that kind of respect to honor your parents as you get older as adults. That's vital. All right, so let's go ahead and get into this. Let's give a definition for respect. Here's what I believe it is. It's the condition of being esteemed, valued, and honored, to show regard, to show consideration for. All right? Being esteemed, being valued, being honored. Show regard. Show consideration for versus flattering when dealing with flattery is like, you know, to try to please by complimentary remarks or attention given, that's insincere.
You know, it's not sincere. Your flattery is there. We want your respect, not your flattery. Okay? So in our modern world, respect is sometimes confused with fear. And I'm speaking now mainly, so you can go with me, I'm mainly talking about gangs. Gangs fight, and they kill for respect, but what they get is fear. They fight and they kill for respect, but they get fear. Domestic abusers may also beat their partner. Hmm. Don't ever get so angry that you can put your hands on your wife. If you gotta run out the house, if you gotta go take a break, do what you got to do, but don't put your hands, don't put your hands on your wife.
Don't take the frustration or the fear of being disrespected at job or anybody else and bring that home and you put your hands on your wife. I just think that's like, I want you to see it as taboo. Real men don't beat their wives. They don't. They don't do it. "Yeah, but you don't understand what she did". It doesn't matter. "Well, she hit me first". Are you kidding me? Real men, they don't do that. They don't do that. There is no excuse to ever justify you putting your hands on your wife. They had a strong issue in some of the African countries. I'm speaking, I think in Nigeria specifically, and these people were in ministry, all right? And he beat his wife to death. It's something about the culture. Now, one day you're gonna have to make a decision, culture versus Word.