Bill Johnson - God Is Refining You Through Your Relationships
If this situation were different, I know I’d have so much greater faith. I’d be much better at what I do if this person or this situation were changed, and it’s simply not true. What God has put in your heart is a vision to become something significant, entirely wrapped up in a journey that you walk with Jesus, where you become like Him. That can only be done by being yoked together with people.
Good morning, good morning, good morning! See, I did that Pushpay thing all by myself during the first service, during the offering reading. I actually finished it during the offering reading. Never mind that a five-year-old could have done it in half the time; I did get it done, and I’m quite happy about that. We have a new book released—our Increase books are testimony books, and each page has a great story and pictures; it’s very well done. This one is for kids and created by kids. It’s just awesome!
Somebody here has like nine kids—come here, you win! Wow, I’m speechless. Let’s all go home now; I don’t know what else to do. That’s amazing! There are some people in this family, and I forget how many they have, but man, it’s a lot, and it’s wonderful because they line up like an army. Give me hugs! Grab your Bibles and open to the Gospel of Matthew, Chapter 11.
I know we have a lot of vegetarians here, and I truly bless and admire you, especially given that you have endured in this church for so long with all the jokes I dish out. But I’ve got one more: my son sent me one yesterday, saying something like, «I eat twice as much meat as the average person to cancel out the contribution of the vegans who think they’re making the world a better place.» I’m just informing you of the news. I can hardly wait to see the emails this week.
Yes, sir, Matthew Chapter 11. I’ve got some things that have been stirring in my heart for quite a while and really felt the liberty this morning to talk with you about it. We’re going to look at a very tender moment in Jesus’s life and ministry. Jesus ministered to people differently; there was no cookie-cutter approach. For one person, He said, «Sell everything, give to the poor, follow me.» To another, He just said, «Drop your nets.» To another person, He responded completely differently, like with the woman caught in adultery: «Go and sin no more.»
So it’s different; the requirements are unique for each person. Jesus had the ability to go right to the core of who a person was and speak to the supreme heart issue. He always targets the center of who we are and what’s valuable to us. This is a passage known for one of those extremely tender moments and has been a real standard for us. I want you to read with me: Matthew Chapter 11, starting with verse 25.
«At that time, Jesus answered and said, 'I thank You, Father, Lord of Heaven and Earth, that You have hidden these things from the wise and prudent and have revealed them to babes.'»
Let me talk just a moment about this verse. It’s not our main subject today, but I would like you to gain bonus insight from this passage because of its importance. Let’s look again: Jesus said, «I thank You, Father, Lord of Heaven and Earth, that You have hidden these things from the wise and prudent and revealed them to babes.»
Often, people ask, «How can I increase my revelation knowledge of Scripture?» There are many things you can do. John Chapter 7 teaches that one of them is to obey what you already know; that actually attracts revelation. But this is very profound because it’s completely unexpected. Being a good steward of what you know makes common sense and would attract more, but this is the key to revelation: being childlike. He saved His best insights for revelation for babes.
It’s important to see that «babe» has nothing to do with age; it refers to simplicity of heart, simplicity of devotion. This is an upside-down kingdom: if you want to be exalted, you must go low; if you want to receive, you must give; if you want to live, you must die. It’s an upside-down kingdom, and in this one, where we would think the most complicated parts of the Kingdom would be revealed to the «wise» and the mature, Jesus is saying, «No, the best is saved for the children. The best is saved for those who have childlike hearts as they approach the Lord.»
Alright, let’s move on in the story. Verse 26: «Even so, Father, for it seemed good in Your sight.» All things have been delivered to me by my Father, and no one knows the Son except the Father, nor does anyone know the Father except the Son and the one to whom the Son wills to reveal Him.
Just make a mental note: Jesus is the continuous, ongoing revelation of the Father. If you see Him, you see the Father.
Here are the three verses I want us to look at today: Verse 28: «Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy, and My burden is light.»
The picture here is vital for us to catch; otherwise, this will make no sense. If you can picture a young ox yoked to a larger, stronger ox, you’ll get the image. It’s these big, heavy wooden yokes that harness the power of both animals to plow fields and accomplish whatever they are supposed to accomplish. Jesus says, «My yoke is with Me. I’m going to carry the weight of this, and because you are smaller, you don’t need to carry the weight. You just need to walk alongside Me, and My yoke for you will be light. It’s going to be easy; it’s not going to be burdensome for you. That’s the life I have for you.»
It’s an amazing statement. The problem is many of us find we are in a lot of pain with the yoke that we’re in. Now, if I’m yoked to Jesus and He is carrying the weight of this yoke, why is it heavy for me? If I’m feeling pain from the weight of this yoke, how could I possibly feel pain if He is carrying the weight?
It’s only because I’m going in a different direction. Listen carefully. There are times the Lord yokes us with other people, and it causes pain to us, but it’s only because we’re not going in the direction that is needed by being yoked with them. I’ve seen good people in their marriages fall apart simply because they could not cooperate with each other, and the yoke became burdensome, heavy, and painful. The answer was to get rid of the person causing the pain.
It might be in a personal relationship, it might be in ministry, or it might be where you work, but Jesus is interested in something much more than our accomplishments and achievements.
I, for one, believe that He is interested in us accomplishing something. We see the story of the servants with mina and talents; they were to invest to bring increase. God is interested in increase in all that He’s given us. All that we are is to be invested for His honor and glory to bring a harvest for Him. That’s important to Him.
But there’s one thing He has in His heart that is of greater value: me becoming like His Son, Jesus.
Alright, let’s make this practical. From what I hear, I am responsible around here. Yeah, that’s what I’ve heard; I don’t think it’s a rumor. I think it’s actually true. I’m responsible, and because I’m responsible, I have a lot of power. I don’t mean power of the Holy Spirit; I mean the power to make choices. I can say, «No, you’re not going to do that,» or, «Yes, you’re going to do that.» If somebody causes me pain, I actually have the ability to organize them right out of my life, which is sounding really inviting at the moment; it’s just sounding like wisdom.
Here’s what I want to get to: as you increase in favor and power, it becomes easier and easier to remove the people from your life that God has yoked you with to make you more like Jesus. The more powerful you become, the more options you have in arranging who will be in your life and who won’t.
I intentionally keep people of pain in my life because I know I haven’t arrived. You know how they put rocks in a rock tumbler, and they knock all the sharp edges off, and they all become smooth? Listen, none of us have it all together, and we actually need people in our relationships to expose where we have sharp edges.
God’s main ambition for you and me is to be like Jesus, and the problem with maturity—the problem with blessing—is that you can insulate yourself from your own need for change. I can create an environment where there’s no conflict, no pain, and nothing will ever come to me. I can create that environment because I have the power to do that.
The problem is God has sovereignly yoked me with people that cause me pain. Chris thinks I’m talking about him; I’m just not even going there! He puts us together with the people we need. He sovereignly yokes us; sometimes it’s in ministry responsibilities, and sometimes it’s in work. You may volunteer at the hospital or coach Little League, and you find there are a couple of coaches you work with that just irritate you to pieces.
It doesn’t matter what context we apply this to; the point is the more powerful you become, the more tempting it is to remove anyone who exposes where you have weakness. And we don’t call it that; we say, «They have a huge weakness that is causing me problems.»
Anyone else with me on that one? They have issues! And I’m telling you, they have serious issues! And I don’t know how much longer I can endure their issues.
So here’s what happens: people come, and they say, «Bill, I just don’t know what I’m going to do. I can’t handle this any longer.» Of course, I’m always trying to bring comfort, encouragement, and change to situations that I can change. But here’s the bottom line, just between you and me—absolutely raw, gut-level honest: some of those situations are arranged by God because you’re not quite who you think you are, and having that person in your life will bring you to a place of absolute honesty and dependency.
Here’s what happens: I have a situation come up—a conflict, a betrayal, whatever it might be—and I’m just troubled by it. This has happened to me too many times to count. I’m troubled by it; I can’t sleep at night and think, «Oh, this person is so important to me,» and then this happens, and that happens, and I can’t sleep.
I get up at night, and I just go and pray. I walk and pray, crying out to God. I used to go down to the church in Weaverville; I’d just go in there and pray, crying out to God. After a while, some relief would come, and I’d have this insight, for example. I’d say, «Well, you know, this person is a real gift to me,» or «This person has such great strengths.»
Sometimes, I’ll say, «Oh God, thank You! I never have to question their love for their family or their devotion to be faithful and true.» I look for the things that are right in their life, and I begin to give thanks until there’s real faith that floods my heart. Suddenly, that problem doesn’t cause me pain anymore.
Why? Because I’m moved to fit the yoke I’m in! I’m in a yoke; it’s a God-assigned yoke. You find your place in that. It may seem like punishment, but it’s not; it’s the very gift of God to bring us into the likeness of Christ.
So He puts us in this context where we learn to walk in this friendship, in this marriage, in this workplace, whatever it might be. We learn to walk in this environment through continual thanksgiving and learning to rejoice. Paul said it in Thessalonians; I mentioned it a few weeks ago: «Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, in everything give thanks.»
My inability to give thanks in a given situation only reveals I have not yet won the battle over my thoughts. We’re supposed to rule and reign with Christ. That doesn’t mean dominate the planet; it means effectively serve, bringing out the best in every environment. So if I can’t rule over my thoughts, what kind of influence am I going to have ruling and reigning with Christ?
The battle is first right here, and secondly, it’s right here. «Rejoice always!» My inability to find joy, to choose joy in any given situation, only reveals my inability to achieve victory over my emotions.
These two challenges are absolutely the key to yoke adjustment. Yoke adjustments happen through thankfulness. Sometimes, in the middle of the day, it just hits me like a gut punch, and I just go for a walk around my property. The point is, I just get along with God. I read until He speaks to me.
I can take you to geographical locations where I met with God, where I was in tears and in pain, wondering why this was happening, why that was happening, why this betrayal took place, or why this thing didn’t happen the way I thought it should. I cry out to the Lord, and I read the pages of Scripture and find His promise to me. Suddenly, His word gives me a yoke adjustment, and now this yoke that I thought was put on me by other people becomes the most liberating thing to carry because I’m now walking in tandem with the One who called me to walk with Him, and in doing so, I’m learning to be more Christlike in my behavior and my response.
Some of us would never pray if there were never a problem. Even if you have the discipline of praying when there are no problems, many find it hard to pray out of passion when there’s no pain. Pain gives birth to passionate prayer.
Hope is supposed to possess the heart of a person, leading them to pray with great passion. Why? Because prayers that move you move Him. Prayers that don’t move you don’t move Him. It doesn’t mean they have to be long or loud; it just means they have to be honest, authentic, and involve all of us.
Passionate prayer is one of the things that brings the hand of God more forcefully into broken situations than anything else I can think of. It’s the passionate cry to the Lord. And when you’re in pain because, «Oh, this job that I have,"—listen, let me insert here: if you’re married and you’re in an abusive situation, this isn’t for you. Just get out of it.
This is a principle of working with other believers where the Lord adjusts our lives by the values and behaviors of people around us. Quite frankly, every time I choose to honor the relationship with this partner—even though I don’t get to accomplish all that was in my heart to accomplish because this relationship came first—something is brought before the Lord in my value for unity that exalts Him above everything else. His celebration for my priority of unity glorifies Him over personal achievement, over personal liberty, and over having my own way. That speaks volumes to Him in a way that is almost unparalleled.
I’ve tried to work with this philosophy for quite a while now, that if you want to catch the attention of a king, treat his daughter well. For me, that’s my wife and many others. How I care for her is how I catch the attention of a king.
Now, let’s take that down a level. The Scripture says we are to submit ourselves to one another in the fear of Christ. I actually believe that if I don’t fear God in you, then I do not see you for who you are.
Let’s have a drink to that one! Yeah, you too can have one of these bottles; they won’t let me bring brand names up here anymore because it gets broadcast, so now we have our own brand—right, shameless promotions!
It’s not a new water company, just so you know—just a bottle. Anytime we have a spiritual dysfunction and give it a virtuous name, we give it permission to stay and increase. There are often times in relationships where there will be suspicions, jealousies, resentments, whatever it might be, and of course, hardly any believer I know would call it what it really is. They’ll see it as a discernment issue, or say, «It’s my prophetic gifting,» or «It’s my personality,» which is a great way to hide dysfunction—just call it a personality.
Then you just create the capital city for dysfunction by labeling it as my personality. I believe that Jesus is interested in our personality, but He knows who we really are. When He says, «Shout for joy, barren one,» He doesn’t say, «Shout for joy, all of you extroverts, and all of you who are quiet and reserved, just think happy thoughts.»
He knows who He made us to be, so when He gives us a directive of any kind, it’s always so we can step fully into our design. It’s never to violate our identity; it’s always to step fully into our design. While He will not violate my personality in the sense of my true identity—who He’s made me to be—He will often put me in situations to expose to me, if I’m willing to learn, what’s in my thinking and behavior that He has nothing to do with and wants changed.
So, He puts me together with people who rub me the wrong way. It’s called God’s gift! Dick Mills used to tell us, «Turn to the person next to you and tell them, 'God loves you too much to leave you the way you are.'» That was always an edifying and encouraging word to us.
So, the Lord puts us in situations, and sometimes we wake up in the middle of the night, as I’ve already stated, and I get up and pray for an hour or two—just can’t get back to sleep. I get along with the Lord, and finally, I hear that word, that verse, whatever it might be, and peace comes to my soul.
I’ll go to bed, and I think, «Man, this person has caused me so many problems,» not realizing maybe that was the goal. Maybe that’s what He was looking for: for a son to take a very inconvenient time to cry out with true passion and get a kingdom solution, a kingdom answer.
The end result is that yoke that was causing so much pain—actually, I don’t feel it now. Why? I don’t know. I stayed up for a couple of hours and prayed, and He spoke, and I don’t understand, but I know it’ll be okay.
Then three days later, it happens again. Why? Because you’re not perfect yet! All of us are in a journey together, choosing and preferring one another. Sometimes I have to sacrifice my personal dreams and agendas.
Now, I hope you take this in the right spirit when I say I’m a powerful person; I’m trying to be light-hearted in my position. I can make sure that every one of my dreams gets fulfilled, but that’s not what I’m here for. I’m not in this position for that. I’m actually here to hear the dreams of the people around me. I’m here to catch the dream; that’s why I don’t give strong job descriptions. I want to see a dream develop; I want to see someone in motion who starts to burn for something.
I’m interested in things that have to be done, but I hope you understand; I’m looking to see people explode into who God made them to be and become what God always intended for them. We create environments where that is possible; however, this environment also creates a lot of rubbing the wrong way because that’s the nature of the game and the nature of my need.
I actually need people who don’t think like me. I need people who don’t handle stuff the way I handle it. I love to travel; my favorite place on the whole planet is right here. Thank You, Jesus!
Anyone else thankful for the firefighters this week? Thank You, Lord! I am very glad to be here; this is my favorite place. One of the privileges of travel is that I get to see churches all over the world that are so different from us, yet they are so anointed and blessed by God.
It’s so important to realize, «Man, oh I need this group of people; I need this leader in my life. He thinks differently than I do, but I need it; I need his voice.» I step into his congregation whenever I go somewhere. I’m never there for my agenda; I’m always there just to support the person in charge who invited me to support their dream, their vision. I love just sitting there, watching what they’ve accomplished. It’s beautiful because it’s so easy to get dialed into our little world and think we’re it—but we’re not it! We’re a spot on the map, but at least we’re a spot where we get to contribute.
You know Randy Clark says it best: «Every stream thinks they’re the river.» That’s sadly true, but at least we’re a stream! I’m glad we get to contribute to what God’s doing; I’m so thankful for that.
Here’s something I want you to consider: I fly a lot, and my airline likes me, so there are certain privileges you get when you land at certain airports. There will be someone right outside my plane when I get off, with a sign that says «Mr. Johnson,» and they walk with me under the tarmac. I don’t go into the airport with the rest of the crowd, I get into the Mercedes to be driven to my next gate—hallelujah!
Occasionally, I’ve gotten off a plane and it’s like a real tight connection. There will be somebody there saying, «Mr. Johnson, we’ve got to get you through this crowd quickly!» and we’ll just run. You know what happens when you’re treated like that? When you have a tight connection, and they’re not there? You think, «Don’t they know who I am? Don’t they understand I’ve got ten minutes to get to the other side of the airport? What kind of organization is this?»
It’s true blessing! Here it is: take your biggest problem and put it right in front of you, your biggest aggravation in life. Now listen to me; don’t ever forget this: there are millions of people who would gladly take your biggest problem if they could also have your greatest privilege.
There’s income and then there’s income tax. In a good nation, your income will always be greater than your income tax! I’m not going to talk today about the rest of it, but seriously—He puts us in situations of extreme benefit, but there’s also a cost to pay.
If I only see the tax I pay, I will be disgruntled, complain, and want to distance myself from the people who caused this pain—not realizing I’m in development; I’m in process. This is income tax, and there are millions of people who would take your biggest problem if they could only have your greatest privilege.
There are millions who would love to sit right where you are sitting, and that is true. What do we do? We come face-to-face with the fact that we are blessed beyond reason and favored by the Lord, and because I’m favored, I have to use that favor for the welfare of others, or it’s misused favor.
If at any point the favor is used for self-promotion, to insulate me from pain, or to insulate me from problems or challenges, then I’ve misused the favor. The favor is to be used for the promotion of the Gospel, number one; and the strength and empowerment of the people around me—it’s a mandate from the Lord. There is no option here.
If I choose to insulate myself from the people that God yoked me with, then what happens? I have delayed my own development, my own maturing process. I’ve put off far into the future my Christlike transformation.
Come on, Bill! What seems to me like a shortcut is actually the long route. It seems like, «If this situation were different, I know I’d have so much greater faith. I’d be so much more devoted. I’d be so much more single-focused. I’d be—I’ll fill in the blanks.»
I’d be so much better at what I do if this person or situation were changed, and it’s simply not true! What God has put in your heart is a vision to become something significant, wrapped up entirely in a journey that you walk with Jesus, where you become like Him, and that can only be done being yoked together with people.
It’s sovereign. The Sovereign God! I sometimes get accused—lightly, sometimes not lightly, but sometimes lightly—of not believing strongly in the sovereignty of God. I feel like I do, but I’m accused of that because I emphasize our responsibility so much.
I get it; I get it! The sovereignty of God is a huge thing. I remember when our kids were small; they’d be in Little League or have a school teacher that was, you know, kind of challenging or whatever. Our approach was, we’re not going to fight to change their environment; we’re going to fight to equip them to thrive in that environment.
Instead of insisting they have a different little league coach, we’d just try to give them tools: «This is how you deal with this.» We’re not yellers; we don’t holler at each other or anyone unless somebody’s on the other side of the yard needing their attention.
We just, we don’t have that kind of makeup at all. Yet our kids would be in Little League with this coach that yells and screams, and we just have to work with our kids and give them the tools to thrive in that environment.
Does this make any sense to you? So that’s what we do: we’re not trying to change the environment so everybody is safe; we’re trying to change everybody so they can influence their environment. That really is the heart of God for us in these situations.
So, that’s pretty much all I have to say today. We’ll bring it up again when I can do it again. Millions of people would gladly take my biggest problem if they could also have my biggest privilege. Entitlement is a scary thing.
What blessing does is it insulates us from the awareness that we carry of our need for one another. So, I just pray over everybody in this room. I pray for an unusual grace and a real clarity of sight, clarity of thought, so that there’s a true celebration for the gifts of God.
One of the things I’ve been doing is, when there’s a challenging situation, I take time to pray, think, and ponder the gifts and strengths in their life. I’ll start giving thanks for specific things where normally it might be tempting for me to try to figure out how to change them.
A lot of times, I’m the one that needs to change! So what I’ll do is think about what I can give thanks for, celebrate the individual. When I say this, obviously, all of us have people in our lives that are just out to get us, and I understand! I’m not pretending all is well in that environment, but most of us have conflict and problems with really good people.
It’s a mystery to us—how can it be that they’re good and still cause me that much pain? The getting up in the middle of the night, praying until there’s a breakthrough— you’ll find that the yoke has been readjusted, and actually all that changed was you.
So, Father, I ask that today there’d be a great grace for this, a real grace to celebrate, honor, and value the privilege that we have of being family, the privilege that we have of growing together. We really do want to honor You above everything.
We want to exalt You by becoming more like You and truly caring for one another where it counts the most. I ask this in Jesus' name.
Also, if you could hold your places, that would help me out here. I’ve got a couple minutes left. There’s always a chance there are people here who don’t have a personal relationship with Jesus. A friend of mine started just walking up to people randomly and asking them the question, «Are you a personal friend of Jesus Christ?» and it’s amazing how many conversations start at that point, and how many people come to the Lord simply because of that question.
So, I ask you that question: are you a personal friend of Jesus Christ? That friendship, that intimacy, that closeness with God, actually brings you into a position of being forgiven, brought into a family, and simply made new from the inside out. It’s available for everybody here!
And if you’d say, «Bill, I don’t want to leave the building; I don’t want to leave the property until I know that I’m at peace with God, that my friendship with Jesus has started.» If that’s anybody here, I want you to put your hand up real quick and say, «Bill, that’s me! I don’t want to leave until that thing is settled.»
Put your hand up real fast; I want to make sure that I give ample time for it. There’s Beth TV as well—yeah, right over here—wonderful! Yeah, beautiful! Come on, that’s the best thing ever!
We so much love our Beth TV family. My goodness, I travel around the world, and you guys greet me all the time with thankfulness for this. We honor you, we bless you, and I pray there’d be the same breakthrough in household after household. In fact, what Chris prayed earlier for the prodigals to return home— that it would come as a result of this invitation.
Anyone else would just say, «I want to surrender my life to Jesus today.» Just real quick—put a hand up! Okay, may just be that one.
I want you all to stand; here’s what I want to ask the one person—if I missed somebody else—we’ve got a team here that we know and trust. I want to ask you to come on up; I want the ministry team to come up at the same time, line up along the front. If you brought a guest that wants to come up for prayer, walk with them; that’s always helpful to do that.