Allen Jackson - God At Work Through Family - Part 2
In Matthew chapter 15, there’s a story of a mother that’s distraught. On behalf of her daughter, she comes to Jesus. She’s a Canaanite woman. That’s important. She’s not Jewish. She doesn’t keep the rules. She doesn’t keep the holidays, she doesn’t eat the right foods. If you saw this woman, you would think, «That’s not one of us». You know, the Canaanite-Jewish distinction is lost on us, but occasionally you see somebody in our culture and you think, «That’s not one of us». Whatever that image is to you, think of this woman. When she approached Jesus and the disciples, it was very clear she’s not one of us.
«She came to Jesus, crying out, 'Lord, Son of David, have mercy on me! My daughter is suffering terribly from demon-possession.' And Jesus wouldn’t answer. So his disciples came to him and urged him, 'Send her away. She keeps crying out after us.'» And he turned the page. «And Jesus answered, 'I was sent only to the lost sheep of Israel.' And the woman came and knelt before Jesus». She’s already called him Lord and cried out in desperation. He won’t speak to her. And now she’s come and knelt before him, «and said, 'Lord, help me! ' And he replied, 'It’s not right to take the children’s bread and toss it to their dogs.'» I don’t know any cultural reference that’ll make that statement friendlier. It’s a rebuff, a rebuke. The answer is no, not helping you.
And there’s some tone around it that’s not friendly or inviting. For the people that say Jesus was always about love, I mean, yeah, you can take the big broad definition of the word, but every encounter didn’t feel like a group hug. Jesus says, «No, nothing for the dogs today». «And she said, 'Yes, Lord, but even the dogs eat the crumbs that fall from their masters' table.'» This woman’s desperate. She’s not being passive. One of the things I think we’re gonna have to overcome in contemporary American Christendom is this passive approach, you know, «If God wants me to have it, he’ll give it to me».
Folks, with that attitude, you can miss the kingdom of God. The Bible invites us towards a different posture. It’s far more assertive, it’s far more in pursuit of God. Bible talks about hungering and thirsting. It talks about those that seek the Lord will be rewarded for it. There’s a pursuit of God in us that is required of us, «and this woman said, 'Lord, even the dogs eat the crumbs, ' and Jesus said, 'Woman, you have great faith! And your request is granted.' And her daughter was healed». I’m gonna suggest to you that mothers have a very, very, very, very significant role. This daughter absent that mother’s humility, determination, compassion, effort, would have spent her life in a dramatically different way. Her mother changed her future.
I’m intrigued by people that say they want to do something important. The God assignments of our lives start in those family assignments. Mothers are intercessors, you help establish a pathway for your family, preparing them to make better choices for themselves. I know that’s true in my own life. My mother’s legacy was of the conviction regarding the value of prayer. That woman, if you were around my mother for 10 minutes, you had to pray. And you know, now we kind of giggle, but it wasn’t always, like, fun. You bring a friend home from school, she’s gonna pray. You walk in the front door with a friend, you would announce you were there because you didn’t know what kind of prayer she was praying. Most of our friends thought we were about half crazy anyway.
If my brothers and I got together for anything, I’m not talking about when we were little kids, I’m talking about, like, when we were, like, pushing grown. We’re almost grown up. Before we could leave, my mom would always say, «Well, couldn’t we say a prayer»? At which we’d roll our eyes. I mean, like, grown men, «Really, mom? That’s original. You think we should pray again»? She prayed hundreds and thousands of hours, for you. I always smile a bit, wryly, when people, you know, talk about let’s pray or some of the things that we do as a community. Folks, those are derivatives of things that were handed to me. I resented 'em for a long time. I’m like, «Really? We want to pray again»? Pray for anybody anywhere. I’m like, «Could you just dial it back»?
You have such an important role. A mother’s prompting makes an enormous difference. I brought you some biblical examples. You have potential for good and you have potential for destruction. It’s important to understand in Matthew 20, «The mother of Zebedee’s sons, James and John, came to Jesus with her sons, and she knelt down and she asked a favor of Jesus. He said, 'What do you want? ' And she said, 'Grant that one of these two sons of mine may sit at your right and the other at your left in your kingdom.' And Jesus said, 'You don’t know what you’re asking. Can you drink the cup I’m going to drink? ' And the boys said, 'Yeah.'» Mom comes in with her two boys and kneels in front of Jesus and says, «I want my boys to get privileged spots». Helicopter parents are not new. «Give my boys an advantage. I know you recruited all of these other young guys, but these two are special. They’re my boys». And Jesus said, «You have no clue».
Now we have the advantage of hindsight. «Can you drink the cup I’m going», he’s got a cup of suffering to drink. And the boys are happy to have the mom running the interference. «Oh yeah, we can do that, whatever. Can we see pictures of the thrones»? Godly people, close to Jesus, engaged in ministry, pushed all their chips in the middle of the table. And Mom is being fueled by selfish ambition. I know it’s wrapped in a lot of religious language. She has ambition for them in the kingdom of God. It’s still not appropriate. A mother’s promptings are important. Guarding our hearts, the Bible says, is more important than anything else we have to guard or protect. I’ll give you another example.
Mark chapter 6: «The daughter of Herodias came in and danced before the king and his audience. She pleased Herod and his dinner guest, and the king said to the girl, 'Ask me for anything you want, and I’ll give it to you.' And she went out and said to her mother, 'What shall I ask for? ' And her mother said, 'The head of John the Baptist, '» wow. A mother’s prompting. This is a mother fueled by hatred and rebellion. She no doubt thought she was gaining a personal advantage by shutting down John the Baptist and his persistent declaration of the truth. I don’t believe it brought a better future for her or her daughter. Mother’s promptings matter. They really do.
I’ll give you another alternative in John chapter 2: «On the third day there was a wedding in Cana of Galilee, and Jesus’s mother was there, and Jesus and his disciples had also been invited to the wedding. And when the wine was gone, Jesus’s mother said to him, 'They have no more wine.' And Jesus replied, 'Dear woman, why do you involve me? My time has not yet come.' Then Mary said to the servants, 'Just do what he tells you. Just whatever he tells you.'» She didn’t argue with Jesus. She didn’t try to manipulate him. There doesn’t even seem to be any shame involved. She’s reminding him of a very obvious fact.
There’s humiliation about to take place. It seems to me to be an expression of a mother fueled by compassion for her friends. And a tremendous faith in God. She understands the uniqueness of Jesus’s life. A mother’s promptings matter. The coaching of a mother can make a tremendous difference in our lives. Be certain that you’re seeking the Lord consistently, so that your counsel brings a godly outcome. It’s important. I’m convinced if the men and women amongst us will begin to honor God and choose God, that we will see his power demonstrated in our homes and that will bring a momentum to our culture. It’ll change our schools, it’ll change our health care systems, it’ll change our legal systems, it’ll change our churches. It’s as simple as starting in those places where we have a voice. I have benefited from godly encouragement.
Choosing God is often a path which contradicts conventional wisdom. Choosing to honor God oftentimes will mean you have different priorities than the broader culture around you. You can baptize them in religious language, much like the mom who came and was asking for thrones for her sons. But the reality is the purposes of God often bring a different set of priorities, different objectives, different goals. And godly moms can make an enormous difference. Can make an enormous difference. It’s a life assignment. It’s a mission. I’m not suggesting it’s easy. I had a gift. Many times in my life when I came to forks in the road, my parents, they didn’t oppose me if I had an inclination to try to do something for the Lord.
I’m very grateful for those gifts. They didn’t always get it right, neither did I. But moms, you’ve got an enormous opportunity, a great privilege. Don’t let a secular culture determine your parenting style. Don’t let the values of a secular culture, a godless culture, even wrapped in religious language, determine the future. Allow God to lead you. Spend enough time with him. Listen to him. I’ve also discovered by observation and experience that if you don’t have that voice in your family system, God will provide a voice. I have seen it over and over and over again. I see it oftentimes through your lives. And I see you provide your voice in the lives of someone else, with an expression of kindness or generosity or support. You change futures, encourage one another to seek God. Most of us, when we found ourselves in dark places, we accepted the encouragement of voices that were pushing us down a dark path. I would suggest that you and I become voices to encourage people for God’s best. We can do that. We’re not powerless. We truly aren’t.
And finally, God is at work with us. God will cooperate if we’re willing to cooperate with him in the least possible ways. Things that we’re not capable of accomplishing, things that we can’t even explain, if we will simply say yes to the Lord, he does the most remarkable things. I can explain very little about my life these days other than the fact the mercy and the grace of God. He’s been good to us. And I think any of us that can recognize God’s goodness to us, stand there and go, «I’m not really sure. I can tell you some components, but the outcomes are really disproportionate. Only God». Doesn’t mean there’s no pain or disappointment or heartbreak or brokenness. All of those things are a part of the journey through time. But cooperating with God.
In Luke chapter 1 and verse 35: «The angel said to Mary, 'The Holy Spirit will come upon you, and the power of the Most High will overshadow you. So the holy one to be born will be called the Son of God. For nothing is impossible with God.' And Mary’s response: 'I’m the Lord’s servant. May it be to me as you have said, ' and the angel left her». Nothing about that explanation really helps Mary understand about what’s to happen. She’s a teenage kid, she’s engaged, she’s got a life plan and an angel says, «Good news». I’m sure it would have been easier for Mary if that angelic host that filled the skies outside of Bethlehem and talked to the shepherds, had filled the skies over Nazareth and explained it to all of her friends. All the women in the synagogue where her family went, «Did you tell them»? Mary said, «You know, I haven’t been involved in the behaviors that would make that possible». «That’s not your problem, Mary».
There is no explanation that’s satisfactory. Mary has to have her dreams realigned. And we find them all the way through the journey until she steps out of the historical record that we have, the foot of the cross, with Jesus being tortured to death. A heartbreaking scenario. There’s a principle there that I think is still in play in our families. There’s a sacrifice and then there’s success. Sacrifice is made enabling others to have opportunities. I’m very aware that motherhood is a sacrifice. I think that’s why it’s mocked and ridiculed. The intention to cooperate with God is the defining principle of our lives, the realignment of our dreams, the release to God’s best for us and not demanding our way. Not easy things. But worthwhile.
I wish I could tell you there’s some season of life, some age you reach, some point of accomplishment in your faith where that gets easier, but I haven’t found that yet. I’m still working on that and working through that. My mom went to heaven in this past year. Her gain, a loss for many rest of us. But I’ll celebrate her gain. I want to close with a story I shared in the previous session because I think it’s empowering to all of us. I didn’t get through it very well earlier. I’m gonna try to do a little better on this one. I borrowed it from Chuck Swindoll some time ago. It’s the name, it’s a story about a young man and a teacher. The young man was walking through a difficult circumstance and the teacher made a difference. The boy’s name was Teddy, the teacher is Mrs. Thompson.
And Teddy Stollard certainly qualified as one of the least. He was disinterested in school. His clothes were wrinkled. He often had kind of a musty odor about him. His hair was never combed. He was one of those kids in school with a deadpan face, completely expressionless, sort of a glossy, glassy-eyed, unfocused stare. When Ms Thompson spoke to Teddy, he always answered in monosyllables. Truthfully, he was unattractive, unmotivated, and undisciplined. He was just plain hard to love. Even though his teacher said she loved all of the kids in her class, down inside she wasn’t being completely truthful because whenever she marked Teddy’s papers, she got a sort of perverse pleasure by putting X’s next to the wrong answers. And when the scores supported an F at the top of the page, she did it with a bit of flair. She should have known better. She had Teddy’s records. She knew a bit about his story, and she had some insight and awareness.
The records were clear. The first grade said: «Teddy shows promise with his work. And he has a good attitude but a poor home situation». Second grade, it was: «Teddy could do better. His mother is seriously ill, and he receives little help at home». The 3rd grade said: «Teddy’s a good boy, but he’s too serious. He’s a slow learner. And his mother died this year». By the 4th grade: «Teddy’s very slow, but he’s well behaved. And his father shows no interest». Christmas came that year and the boys and the girls in Ms Thompson’s class brought her Christmas presents. They piled their presents on her desk and trotted around to watch her open them.
Among the presents there was one from Teddy Stollard. She was surprised that he’d brought her a gift, but he had. Teddy’s gift was wrapped with brown paper and held together with Scotch tape. And on the paper were written the simple words: «For Ms. Thompson, from Teddy». When she opened Teddy’s present, out fell a gaudy rhinestone bracelet with half the stones missing and a bottle of cheap perfume. The other boys and girls began to giggle and smirk at Teddy’s gift, but Ms. Thompson at least had enough sense to silence them by immediately putting on the bracelet, and putting some of the perfume on her wrist. She held her wrist up for the other children to smell, and she said, «Doesn’t it smell lovely»?
The children, taking their cue from the teacher, responded with oos and ahs. At the end of the day, when school was over and the other children had left, Teddy lingered behind. He slowly came over to her desk, and he said softly, «Ms. Thompson, you smell just like my mother, and her bracelet looks real pretty on you. I’m glad you liked my presents». When Teddy left her classroom, Ms. Thompson got down on her knees and she asked God to forgive her. Next day when the children came to school they were welcomed by a new teacher. Ms. Thompson had become a different person. She was no longer just a teacher, she was an agent of God. She was now a person committed to loving her children and doing things for them that would live on after her. She helped all the children, but especially the slow ones. And especially Teddy.
By the end of that school year, Teddy showed dramatic improvement. He’d caught up with most of the students and was even ahead of some. Well, the year ended. She didn’t hear from Teddy for a long time. And then one day she received a note: «Dear Ms. Thompson, I wanted you to be the first to know, I’ll be graduating second in my class. Love, Teddy Stollard». Four years later another note arrived: «Dear Ms. Thompson, they just told me I’ll be graduating first in my class. I wanted you to be the first to know. Love, Teddy Stollard». Four years later, another note: «Dear Ms. Thompson, as of today, I am Theodore Stollard MD. How about that? I wanted you to be the first to know. I’m getting married next month, the 27th to be exact. And I want you to come and sit where my mother would sit if she were alive. You’re the only family I have now. Dad died last year. Love, Teddy».
Well, as you might guess, Ms Thompson went to that wedding, and sat where Teddy’s mother would have sat. She deserved to be there She’d done something for Teddy that he could never forget. If you’ll allow me, I would suggest that we all have the opportunity to be a Ms. Thompson in somebody’s life. And I know it’s Mother’s Day and there are reasons to celebrate and there are reasons to grieve. That’s true of all of us. But I would encourage you not to miss the opportunities that God puts in front of us. He works through our families, oftentimes in spite of us. It’s worth the effort. I brought you a prayer. If you’ll stand with me, we can read it together:
Heavenly Father, thank you for the mother that you chose for me. I trust your grace and mercy. Today I choose to bless her and to rejoice in the faithfulness of my God. I pray for the families of our nation: strengthen them, awaken them to your purposes and protect them from evil. In Jesus’s name, amen.