TD Jakes - He Still Wants You
Jesus died for your kind of shame. Shame stops you from going after your dreams, shame stops you from living your life to the fullest. Shame equals a negative self-judgment and viewing yourself as worthless. Come to Jesus, because he still wants you. God is bigger than your deepest secret, your darkest night. I'm telling you that his grace is bigger than your disgrace. You can come from failure to victory, you can get rid of your shame, and it begins when you understand he still wants you.
The way you see yourself, that's shame. It ends relationships because if anybody comes along and tries to love you, you won't let them love you because you don't love yourself. If anybody tries to receive you, you push them away because you don't understand why anybody would want somebody who is worthless. And so you self-sabotage promotions on jobs and careers and relationships, and even family life, because even though they don't even know you think you're worthless. They think you're an amazing woman, you think you're a slut, a tramp. Some woman looks at you and said, "He's a great man, he's a good man," and you think, "I'm worthless because I fail". So we self-medicate and we drink and we smoke and we get high and we shoot up and we do other things, and we do church even to medicate the pain of shame, because church can be a narcotic.
Oh, y'all aren't gonna talk to me this morning, I wish I had a talk-back church. Church can be a narcotic, it can be a way to anesthetize your pain. And then there is guilt, guilt is when you evaluate an action or behavior you did as unfavorable but as a person you still feel valued internally. But if you're not careful, guilt will turn to shame and it will affect every relationship in your life. The daughter you didn't raise, the son you gave away. Let's take it away from presidents and kings and prophets, and let's bring it down to earth, let's bring it down to the level. The house you lost 'cause you gambled the money away, I'm talking about shames that we carry around with us, the son we had out of wedlock that doesn't fit into the family we now have. And we don't know what to say to him because we create these shameful situations that become weight on our back that presses us down to the ground, that leaves us in a state of being where we are not sure how to deal with the messes we made.
And I know I've been saved and I know I've been washed in the blood but he's still standing there accusing me, why do I say to him? So I run to church and clap my hands and talk about the blood prevails, the blood prevails, but that boy don't care nothing about no blood. And every time you hear a baby cry when you think about the ones you aborted, I'm talking about shame. I'm talking about shame, I'm talking about the degree you got up under false pretenses. I'm talking about shame, you have the title but you don't know diddly about it. I'm talking about shame, and how do you live with it? And how do you process it? And I hate to tell you this 'cause it's gonna mess with your theology, you can't dance it away. No-no-no-no-no-no-no-no, you can't shout it away, you can't speak it tongues and make it go away, you can't prophesy and make it go away.
In fact, some of the most judgmental, self-righteous people in the church do it as a disguise to camouflage their own shame, and they would rather come up with receipts on you than to admit who they are themselves. I'm talking about shame, affects the way you treat your daughter, shame, you're punishing her for stuff you did. You drove away the man you got over the man you lost, I'm talking about shame. Peter was in utter shame, the kinda torment that sometimes church doesn't help. One man comes to Jesus and he says, "I brought my son to your disciples and church didn't help him, oft he cast himself into the water, off he cast himself into the fire, and I brought him to you church people and you couldn't help him because it was too deep for you".
The importance of the Prodigal Son story that Jesus told is quite profound, because he openly talks about a boy who thinks he's bigger than he is and thinks he's more ready than he is, and says, "Give me the portion of goods that falleth to me," and he goes out to do his own thing. And he has all these harlots and he has all of these friends and he has all of this money until it ran out, and when it ran out they ran out with it, and he ends up in the hog pen. And you'd have to be an Orthodox Jew to understand how low a hog pen is to a Jewish boy, they won't even eat swine, they don't even touch swine. And now this boy not only is ready to eat swine, he is ready to eat that which the swine did eat. And at the time, he gets ready to come back home. How do I face the father I failed? How do I explain what happened to the thing, the living, he worked his whole life for?
He doesn't have any more in life to work, April, he's old, I wasted his life with hookers and strippers, and I got nothing to show for it. Oscar, I got nothing and he's still alive and I got to go home to this old man, broke. It's one thing to blow your own money, it's another thing to blow mine. Tip lightly when you come to my house, and you blew my money. That's my money, that was my life, that was my life saving, and you wasted it on what? And worse still, he has to go home smelling like a pig, smelling like something his daddy would not touch, smelling like something his daddy raised him not to eat. What do you do when your shame affects the people you love? Affects the way they look at you? Affects the way they handle you at the Thanksgiving dinner? And yes, they invited you, but you know the way they look at you and you know what they think about you, and you have shame.
And the power and the Prodigal Son story is that while the boy is rehearsing, he's so afraid of his daddy that he's rehearsing what he's going to say to his father. That's a level of shame where you're trying to figure out, "What I will say, I am no more worthy, listen at that, I am no more worthy to be called thy son. Make me a hired servant". He's trying to get his message ready because he is full of shame. And what blows the story wide open is, while he is yet a great ways off, the father sees him coming and tears off the porch like he's a young man and runs out to meet him.
You know why he ran out to meet him? Because he still wanted him, in spite of the fact that he smelled like swine, in spite of the fact that he has spent his substance in riotous living, in spite of the fact that he had given his father's living to whores. He said, "You're a shameful disciple, but I still want you. You messed up but I still want you, and I want you bad enough to put a clean robe on a dirty boy, without a shower, without a bath. Bring him the robe and the ring, and let's celebrate him funk and all". No shower, no bath, no cleansings, no ceremonies, no rituals, no communions, no church service, no prayer meeting, he put the robe on funk, because he was still his son. What is Jesus trying to tell us about shame and God? That God still wants you.
The complicated betrayal of Peter. Peter's name means the rock, but the rock is now warming himself by the fire of his enemies. Isn't it funny when your name gets bigger than you? When you got a great name as a great woman of God, and a great person, and a great professional, and a great this, and a great that, and a great the other, and you've got a great name but you got a messy past? Peter couldn't live up to his name, he wasn't, Jesus called him, "The Rock," but he wasn't acting like a rock, he was scared. In the text, I love the text because, I love the Word, I love the Word, I love-love-love the Word.
See, I don't have to have the crowd, I have to have the text. If I have the text, I don't have to have the crowd. I love the text because it shows that we get to see men like Peter in fluctuations that could possibly affect our admiration of them, and yet we begin to understand how life really works. We get to understand that Peter is in a situation, a fluctuation, and somebody right now is in a situation, a fluctuation, and you are not living up to your highest ideals, and God sent me to tell you he still wants you. You smell like swine but he still wants you, you warmed yourself by the fire of the enemy but he still wants you.
You see, Peter didn't know that was in him. He didn't know that was in him and a lot of us don't know what's in us, what we're capable of, 'cause we buy into the myth and the legend, and we believe our own headlines, "You ain't such a rock after all. You're a rock about this but you are scared to death about that". Peter didn't know. There's a text, put my text up, where Jesus is questioning him before this happened, and he said to him, in John 21:15, "When they had finished eating, Jesus said to Simon Peter". Jesus love to get you at dinner, Jesus.
"When they had finished eating, Jesus said to Simon Peter, 'Simon son of John, do you love me more than these?' 'Yes, Lord,' he said, 'You know I love you.' Jesus said, 'Feed my lambs.' Again Jesus said, 'Simon son of John, do you love me?' He answered, 'Yes, Lord,'" you know me and you cool, Jesus. "'You know I love you.' Jesus said, 'Take care of my sheep.' The third time he said to him, 'Simon son of John, do you love me?' Peter was hurt because Jesus asked him the third time, 'Do you love me?' He said, 'Lord, you know,'" you know, I keep telling you the same thing, "'You know all things; you know that I love you.' Jesus said, 'Feed my lambs. Verily I tell you, When you were younger you dressed yourself and went where you wanted, but when you are old you will stretch out your hands, and someone will dress you and lead you where you do not want to go.' Jesus said this to him to indicate the kind of death by which Peter was die. Then he said, 'Follow me.'" Later, Jesus says to him, "Before the cock crows you will have denied me three times".
And in my text, while Peter is warming himself by the fire, he's warming himself by the fire 'cause it's morning, it's early morning, and you know how it's a little chill in the air in the morning, and Peter's a little cold and he's trying to be comfortable while Jesus is about to be crucified. Are you trying to be comfortable while Jesus is being crucified? And they asked him one time, "Weren't you with him"? "No, I'm not one of them". "Aren't you one of them Galileans"? "No-no-no, I'm not one. One" Girl said, "I remember you in the garden, I remember you in your strength, I remember when you were cutting off the ears of the men you're hanging out with now".
Max Latter, God remembers you when you were on his team, and now you're warming yourself by the fire of the people you used to fight. And Peter said, "I don't even know what you're talking about, girl. Get out of my face," and he went to cussing. In essence, he cursed her out. Peter, Peter, The Rock, Peter, who would write the epistles, Peter, who would deliver the inaugural message on the day of Pentecost cursed her out. I ain't got time to talk about cussing Christians, he cussed her out, he cursed her out to convince her, "I ain't with Jesus stuff, I ain't got nothing to do with that, I don't have nothing to do with that". And he walked away because his name was better than his life. And all of a sudden, we see Peter in utter shame. The disciples didn't know it but he knew it, Bartholomew didn't know it but he knew it, James didn't know it but he knew it, he knew that he was in with the wrong people while Jesus needed him most. He knew it.
No wonder he later says, when Jesus rises from the dead Peter is one of the guys who said, "I'm going fishing," because when you are full of shame you just want to get away. Who am I preaching to today? What are you running away from that God has for you, that God wants to do in your life, that God has purpose for you, but because of the nagging memories of your own inconsistencies you find yourself in a dilemma? I am sent here today to talk to you. God told me to tell you, "I still want you". Jesus rose from the dead with Peter on his mind. Do y'all hear the words that are coming out of my mouth? Jesus rose from the dead with Peter on his mind, he rose from the dead and said, "Go tell the disciples," I think is Mark 16:6-7. He says, "Don't be alarmed," he spoke to the women, "'Don't be alarmed,' he said. 'You are looking for Jesus the Nazarene, who was crucified. He has risen! He is not here.'"
He is not here, he is not here, he's gone, he's up from the dead. "See the place where he laid," this is where he used to be, this is where he is. "But go, tell the disciples and Peter". "Go tell the disciples," is one thing, but out of all 12 disciples he calls Peter by name. He calls Peter by name because Peter doesn't think that he's still a disciple, he thinks that he's messed up so bad that he's lost his place and he's lost his destiny and he's lost. God told me there's somebody I'm preaching to today, you think you messed up so bad that you ruined your destiny. It's a lie, the Lord sent me here to preach to you, to call you by name. "Go, tell the disciples and Peter". Go, tell the disciples and Mary. Go, tell the disciples and Shawanda. Go, tell the disciples and Helen. Go, tell the disciples and Fred. Go, tell the disciples and Robin.
God is calling you by name. God is saying simply, "I'm going to meet you in Galilee. There, I'm going to show myself to you, just as I told you. And in spite of your shame, in spite of your shame I still have a plan for your life". Can you imagine, as I close, what it must have been like for Peter to preach the inaugural address on the day of Pentecost? Out of all 12 disciples, Peter is chosen to preach on the day of Pentecost. Old woman by the fire, betraying, shameful, disgraced Peter is raised up to speak to all of the people that he used to warm himself by the fire with, and said, "O, house of Israel, know assuredly that the same Jesus whom ye crucified have been made both Lord and Christ".
He preached the Gospel to them, he preached the Resurrection to them, he preached the power of God to them. You can turn around from disgrace to grace, you can come from failure to victory, you can get rid of your shame, and it begins when you understand, it begins, Markus, when you understand, it begins when you understand he still wants you. He's still wants you. Your voice in the choir, your message, your service, he still wants you. He still wants you, you are still his daughter, you are still his baby girl. Mistakes and all, he still wants you, he still got a plan for your life.
I'm not excusing your shame, I'm not justifying your mistake, I'm telling you that his grace is bigger than your disgrace, and he still wants you. I'm telling you that God is bigger than your deepest secret, your darkest night, your daughter out of wedlock, your disgrace, your drug addiction, your problem, your pain, your self-medication, your trauma, your family crisis. The scandal in your family is not bigger than the grace of our God. I came to tell you he still wants you. I came to get to you before you end up in the potter's field, self-destructing, self-medicating, self-destroying every opportunity over something you can't get rid of. Your God loves you, man, that God actually loves you.