TD Jakes - Faith In a Crisis (07/23/2021)
The disciples faced a profound faith crisis when Jesus, whom they believed would overthrow Rome and establish an earthly kingdom, willingly went to the cross without resisting, dying as a criminal. Yet in His resurrection, Jesus returned specifically to meet doubting Thomas, inviting him to touch His wounds, proving His authenticity and turning doubt into triumphant belief in "My Lord and my God."
The Unexpected Crisis of Faith
In our text, we are in the middle of a crisis. It is a faith crisis. No bombs have fallen. No plagues have been released. No disaster is depicted. No chaos is obvious, but yet it is a faith crisis. Because these twelve men who started out walking with Jesus believed Him. They walked off their jobs and believed Him. They walked away from their families and believed Him. They walked away from the familiar, and they believed Him.
They traveled for miles by foot, following Jesus, because they believed Him. They thought they understood Him. They thought He was bringing the kingdom. They thought He would overthrow the Roman Empire. They thought He would be their king on earth. They thought that they would get a seat beside Him. They thought they would make up His parliament. They thought they would make up His congress. They thought they would have positions of power.
Jesus Begins Speaking of Death
Halfway through the process, He started talking this strange talk that made them stare at one another—talking about, "If you destroy the temple, in three days I will raise it again." "Except a grain of wheat fall onto the ground and die, it abides alone, but if it dies, it brings forth much fruit." Why is He talking about that? Why does He keep talking about this? What is He talking about? What is He talking about dying? Why is He talking about dying? He kept talking about dying.
Death was not in their plan. It was not in their perspective. It was not in their purview. It was not in their preparation. It was not in their understanding. They did not understand why Jesus kept talking about death. They heard Him murmuring about it in the Garden of Gethsemane, out there in the woods. He looked like He was talking to Himself: "Father, if it be Thy will, pass this bitter cup from Me. Not My will, but Thine be done."
The Garden and the Mounting Pressure
And there in the Garden of Gethsemane, where His soul was pressed until blood drops came out of the pores of His skin, they watched Him and did not understand Him. They fell asleep, confused about Him, and He was murmuring about death. The pressure was mounting, and the politics were mounting. The Pharisees were against Him, and the Sadducees were against Him.
But they were not afraid, because Jesus had power. They had seen Him walk on water. They had seen Him heal the sick. They had seen Him raise the dead. They had seen Him turn water into wine. They had seen Him open the blinded eyes of Bartimaeus. They knew that He had power. Yet when they apprehended Jesus, He opened not His mouth. He did not say a word. He let them take Him.
The Silent Lamb Led to Slaughter
He did not have to let them take Him. He had spoken one time, and the ground knocked them to the ground: "I that speak am He," and the ground had knocked them over. He had enough power; He could have resisted, but He did not do anything. He turned into this lamb-like individual that they were not familiar with, and He did not say a mumbling word. They dragged Him around like He was a little boy from judgment hall to judgment hall.
They snatched Him around; they beat Him like He was a slave, until His entrails were hanging inside out. And then after they had whipped Him, they put a cross on His back and made Him carry the cross outside of the city to a place called Golgotha. And there on Golgotha's hill, He had to carry the cross up the hill like a slave, toward a peak at the top of the mountain where there was so much uncertainty that nobody knew for sure what was going to happen, but it did not look good.
The Disciples Scatter in Fear
Most of the disciples ran away, and Peter went to cussing, saying, "I was never with Him. I was never with Him. I was not with Him." Because Peter was afraid, and rightfully so, because they were getting ready to kill Jesus. And now, push had come to shove. Only one disciple said, "I am going to die with Him," and that was Thomas. Thomas said, "We must go. I must go and die with Him."
Thomas—yes, Thomas. I know you call him doubting Thomas. You have a name for everybody. But he was not always doubting Thomas. He had been confirmed and convinced and committed in his faith. He believed Jesus, and he was prepared to go to Jerusalem to die with Jesus. But the pressure was mounting, and it got worse. They had beaten Him so badly He was not recognizable.
Jesus Crucified Without Resistance
They stripped Him of His clothing, and He went like a lamb to the shearers. He never fought back, and He never said anything, and He did not do any of those miraculous things they had seen Him do over and over again. It was as if He had lost His power. And He laid down on the cross. No man took His life; He laid down on a wooden cross, and they nailed His hands to the cross, and blood spewed out like a water fountain.
The Roman soldiers lifted high the hammer and slammed it down on the nail, and blood flew everywhere. And again they struck it down, and blood flew everywhere. They crossed His feet together—I believe symbolic of the Jews and Gentiles coming together under one gospel. They put them all together and boom, they slammed it down again. Once they had gotten Him fastened firmly to a wooden cross—a cross that He had made Himself, a cross He had created, a mountain He had hollowed out—they lifted Him up on the cross, and they hung Him high, and they stretched Him wide.
The Cry of Forsakenness
And there, the Savior of the universe lay on the cross, stripped naked, powerless, impotent, murmuring, almost sounding delirious, uttering things that made no sense. "I thirst." Talking to His mother: "Behold thy son; son, behold thy mother." Changing languages: "Eli, Eli, lama sabachthani?" "My God, My God, why hast Thou forsaken Me?"
Can you imagine what it would be like to be a disciple of Jesus and hear Jesus say, "Eli, Eli, lama sabachthani?" "My God, My God, why hast Thou forsaken Me?" Why should I stay if God left? Their faith had come to a crushing blow of crisis and uncertainty. What in the world are we going to do? How do I go back home and tell them that maybe He was not who I thought He was, and maybe He could not do what I thought He could do?
Hiding in Doubt and Fear
I saw Him do it, but then when He needed to do it most, He did not do it. How am I going to tell them? How do I get my old job back? How do I explain to my wife why I spent three years following around somebody who died like a criminal on a cross? And most of the disciples ran to a room and hid, because they said, "If they killed our pastor, they will kill us too." They locked themselves up in the room.
I heard that Judas hung himself in the potter's field. They did not go see, but it was rumored that he had committed suicide. And there were rumors that somebody might have broken into His grave and taken His body. And Thomas had decided, "I do not know about this. I do not know what to think. I do not know what to believe. I do not know where to go. I do not know what to say."
The Questions of a Faith Crisis
Why did He not do something? Why did He not stop it? Why did He let this happen to Himself? If you have ever had a faith crisis, this is the way you talk: Why, if God was on my side, why did Mama die? If God was on my side, why did my daughter die? If God was on my side, why did I lose my job? I thought God was... I do not know. Maybe it is not real. Maybe it does not work. Maybe it is not true.
Skepticism has leaked into the boat. Skepticism has come into the room. Skepticism has invaded the premise. That is why when Jesus got up from the grave and came to the room where ten disciples were—one was dead, having committed suicide, and the other one was stuck in skepticism—the ten were locked up for fear of the Jews. They had not lost their faith, but they were afraid of the Jews.
Jesus Appears to the Fearful
And the Bible says that when Jesus came to the room, He came through the door, right through the door, and appeared unto them in the room. I know they thought, "Oh God, this is a ghost," but then He ate fish, and spirits cannot eat—spirit enough to go through the door, and man enough to eat fish on the inside. Only God could do things like this.
But the problem was, He did it while Thomas was gone. Thomas was not in the room when Jesus first showed up. He was out someplace trying to figure out whether he should believe it or not. And maybe I should not go back to their church, because this is not working and I might get killed. And I do not know where I fit, because I cannot go back to Jerusalem, and I do not fit in the Upper Room.
Feeling Like You Don't Fit
And I want to talk to somebody who feels like you do not fit in anywhere. You are too much of the world to be in the church, and yet you are too much of the church to be in the world, and so you pace back and forth because you do not fit anywhere. And you believe, sort of, but you have some doubt and some worry, and your faith is in a crisis. You think your life is in a crisis? No, you think your money is in a crisis? No, you think your family is in a crisis? No—that is all what the devil is using. Your faith is in a crisis.
So when our text begins the conversation between Jesus and Thomas, it is because Thomas has decided to climb up the stairs and go into the building and sit down. He was there, but he was not really with them. He was there listening to them telling stories that Jesus had been by just a little bit ago.
Thomas Demands Proof
Jesus came by. "What? Oh, get out of here. Jesus is dead." Jesus had been by. "No, Jesus is dead. We took Him down—His rigor mortis-ridden body down off the cross. We saw His congealed blood. The blood and water came out of His side when the Roman soldiers pierced Him, which means that the blood had begun to coagulate and separate itself in such a manner that you could identify the clear from the blood. He was dead."
We wrapped Him in linen strips and we shoved Him into Joseph of Arimathea's grave. He was dead. We rolled a stone in front of Him. He was gone. He was stiff. He was cold. Now you are going to tell me that He was up here? I will not believe it unless I thrust my hands into His side and feel the nail prints in His hand. If He shows up, I will not believe it until I see His wounds.
Jesus Returns for the One
And as soon as he opened his big mouth to say how much it would cost for him to believe, Jesus showed up again. This is the moment in the text where I almost fall apart, because I can understand why Jesus would come by for the ten, but to turn around and come back for the one? For one guy who does not even believe in You, who doubts You, who has allowed the skepticism of the world to invade his thinking to the point that he is not even sure he is one of Your disciples? And yet You come back for one.
I have to praise Him, because I have been that one. I have been the one that when everybody threw up their hands, I thought I was not worth it. I know what it is to be the one that He came back and showed up for, and it was not because my faith was strong, not because my life was good, not because I was so moral, not because I was so holy, but because He is so merciful.
God's Mercy for the Doubter
And His mercies are new every morning, and His grace so abounds that every now and then, Jesus will show up for just one person. If everybody clicked off right now and there were only one person—just me and you—He would show up. He would show up just for you, because you are important to Him. Even in your doubts, even in your fear, even in your unbelief, even in your uncertainty, even in your ambiguity, even in the fact that you go back and forth and up and down, even in your indecisiveness, even in your confusion—you are so important to Him that He will show up for one. A table for one.
Jesus appeared in the room almost as if He was making an encore for one person—one person who did not even believe. I understand why He would show up for one believer, but He came for one guy who did not even believe. But then again, maybe Thomas was not an unbeliever, because even in spite of his struggles, he still came to the room.
Struggling But Still Present
It sounds more like he was struggling in his faith than that he had lost his faith—that he was saying one thing with his mouth, but his actions were saying something else, because he came to church. He was murmuring, but he came to church. He was talking about the pastor, but he came to church. He was doubting the brotherhood, but he came to church. The very fact that he climbed those steps and came into that room and argued is a sign that he was not completely sure.
I do not know who I am after, but I am after somebody. You have been kicking up a fuss and making a lot of noise, but down on the inside, God has got a hook in your mouth, and He is drawing you toward Him, and you are flipping and flopping like every fish does when you have a hook in your mouth. And God is pulling in the line because you are important to Him.
Jesus Invites Thomas to Touch His Wounds
And Jesus came to pay Thomas a visit, and then He gave him the opportunity that would change the trajectory of his life. It is an opportunity that few leaders have the grace to give, because most leaders will show you their crowns, their successes, their degrees, their trophies, their Grammys, their Pulitzers, their Emmys. But there are few leaders that will show you their wounds.
Jesus said, "If I have to strip for you, if I have to take all of my stuff off and show you what they did to Me, I will not leave this room and leave you wondering if I am authentically Me. Because to be authentic is more important than to be beautiful." When you walked with Me, My skin was unflawed. When you walked with Me, My face was not marred.
Authenticity Through Wounds
He said, "But I want to show you that in order to be authentic, you have to have some flaws and some wounds. And you cannot just walk with Me in My beauty; you have to walk with Me in My wounds. And if I have to strip to lead you, I want you to know they got Me right here, and they got Me right here. Reach hither your hand and feel this. Come here, feel that right there. They got Me right there."
And I let them get Me so you could see Me get back up again. I went down so you could see Me come back up—so that no matter what they put on you, you will always know that you have the power within yourself to get back up again. "Reach hither your hands and feel the nail prints in My hand, and touch Me right here and feel where they pierced Me in the side, and be not faithless but believing."
Thomas's Confession and Our Need
And Thomas fell down on his knees, because he had an encounter with God—an encounter with the God that felt safe enough to show His wounds. I do not want to follow anybody that cannot show me their wounds. Because the cost of discipleship is a cross, and you cannot make me take up my cross if you do not take up yours.
I need to see you sweat sometime, and I need to see you cry sometime, and I need to see you wrestle sometime, and I need to see you be scared sometime, and I need to see you uncertain sometime, and I need to hear you murmuring in the Garden of Gethsemane, so I can understand that you understand what it is like to be me.
Jesus as Kinsman Redeemer
And Jesus meets the criteria of being my Kinsman Redeemer, because He is human enough to cry in the garden, and yet He is God enough to create Himself a gardener suit and wear it after the resurrection. He is human enough that He had to nurse at His mother's breast, but He is God enough to create the milk that flowed from it. He is human enough to die on an old rugged cross, and He is God enough to raise the tree He knew would be the cross.
I need a God that is kin to me—not just my strength. I need a God that is kin to my questions, my confusion, my uncertainty, my fear. Because every now and then, I must confess, my faith goes into crisis because my world goes into trauma.
Faith Crisis in Modern Trauma
And if there is anybody out there who has gone through trauma, and the trauma has made you wonder, and the trauma has made you uncertain, and the trauma has made you afraid, and the trauma has made you indecisive, and the trauma has made you doubt God and doubt church and doubt religion and doubt theology and doubt all kinds of stuff—this message is for you.
I know it has been a bad period. It was cool when Jesus was doing the cool stuff, but then He started doing the dying stuff, and following Him is not so cool right now—not when you are being shot down in the street, not when your whole community is angry, not when you are scared to go jogging, not when you could get shot in your own apartment.
Bringing Your Doubts to Jesus
I know it is hard to have faith when people act like your life does not matter. It is hard to have faith when they laid you off your job, when you run out of money and you have nothing to tell your kids. It is hard to have faith when your mama dies and you cannot even go in the room to say goodbye, sitting in the parking lot at the hospital having FaceTime with her while she died.
And I know that is not the kind of atmosphere that produces absolute faith. It produces questions and anguish and trauma, and it makes you walk back and forth and say, "Where is mama's God? Why not my mama—she was too good? How could that happen to somebody that always was helping other people? I do not understand."
Bring your doubting, frightening, troubled self right on into this service, because He is coming for you in your pain and in your anguish. And you do not have to dress it up, and you do not have to quote Scriptures, and you do not have to say nice Christian stuff to Him. You can come to Him mad, saying, "Unless I thrust my hand into Your side and feel the nail prints in Your hands, I am not thinking about You. I got in trouble serving You. I got hurt serving You. I got disappointed serving You. I got wounded serving You."
The Power of Wounded Authenticity
And all of a sudden, He says, "Shut up and give Me your hand." And He let a doubting Thomas touch Him in a wounded place. And it was not His clear, perfect places that convinced Thomas. To all of you preachers that only want to show us your good stuff—that is not what makes a ministry.
Your erudite, charismatic presentation or taking a theological dissertation is not what changes lives. What changes lives is: show me where you hurt. Show me where you are bleeding. Show me where you fell down and said I cannot go any further. Show me where you almost quit. Show me where you wanted to die. Show me where your knees buckled. Show me where your faith got tired. Show me where you almost gave up. Show me you laying over your daughter's casket screaming. Show me that you can be touched with the feeling of my infirmities. That is what this text means: God has made space for questions.