TD Jakes — Blinded By Rage
I am Bishop T.D. Jakes, the senior pastor of The Potter's House. It is with all humility and joy that I come into your home today to share a word that I believe God gave me for you.
The message is called Blinded By Rage. Your house can't be healed if the person in the house doesn't get healed. You're asking God to heal things while you are contributing to the problem. Get rid of the rage. Set yourself off with the healing power of the Holy Spirit. Let's go to the Word of God, if you dare, and allow God to talk to you, not just about your situation, but perhaps he wants to speak to you about you. Take a look.
There are three triplets born out of domestic violence, whether that violence is expressed or not expressed. One of them is physical rage, the other one is verbal rage, and the third one is emotional rage. Physical rage, verbal range, and emotional rage.
Now, some of 'em are obvious. Physical rage. Control issues. Tantrums of the soul. Physical rage. There you are, 30 years old, havin' a tantrum, breakin' up somethin' you paid for, got to pay for it again. Tore up all kinds of stuff in your house in front of your child that you chastise for actin' like that, not recognizin' that he's imitating your behavior.
You're trying to teach young people to respect authority while you abuse their mother or their father. And the child cannot figure out how to process rage without looking at the example you set because we learn from the environment we're in. Now, my family is a boisterous family. My wife's family, you have to take their pulse to know they're breathing.
When our families got together for dinner for the first time, it was like Jekyll was sittin' on one side, and Hyde was sittin' on the other 'cause my family, when we get excited about anything, we look like we're gon' kill each other. There's my sister right here with the pink on, and when we get to talkin' and if you would just--you can hear what we were sayin', you would think it was gon' be domestic violence, and we could be havin' a good time.
Shut your mouth! You crazy! Get up! Come! What?! do it! Her family walked in. They thought... Mama didn't tell us to do it like that. That's how they did it. So we learned how to express the same feelings that her family has, and they're sittin' up there talkin' аbout: That's interesting. We're talkin' about the same thing. We're having the same feelings, but how we express it is how we saw it.
So whatever example you put up, the benchmark you put up in front of your kids is the benchmark they're gonna emulate. So if they see daddy havin' a tantrum, don't expect him to sit calm in class, in school or anywhere else. And, by the way, expect your daughter to marry somebody who treats her like you treated her mother. And don't go runnin' out the house with a gun after him unless you're gonna point it at yourself 'cause you did it.
Oh, it's gon' be rough. I told you, now. I didn't wanna do this, then you told me to do this 'cause I knew they're gon' sit there and look at me like this. I wanna talk about verbal rage.
Verbal rage isn't necessarily just cursin', and it's not necessarily screaming. It's the things that you know will hurt me, and you say them to hurt me, stripping me of my dignity, stripping me of my pride, going where you're not supposed to go, stripping the person of self-respect.
Verbal rage. In a moment of transparency, I open up and expose my vulnerability, and in a moment of anger, you use what I exposed against me. Oh, it's quiet. You belittle the one God called you to build up. Even if you have no spouse, this'll help you. This'll help you with your kids. It'll help you with your grandkids, and it'll help you with your neighbors, and it may help you with what went wrong because we all have our weapons. Silence is as much a weapon as being loud is.
Verbal abuse. I don't have to curse you to tell you you're fat and you're ugly and ya always have been ugly, and you're just a big, hat-wearin', ugly--you think those words don't have power? It's funny when I say it in a joking sense, but when it comes from the mouth of somebody I have given my all to, you think those words don't have power? You think those words won't stay longer than you, outlive you, outlast you? Those words will be there forever.
Words have power. When you say certain things to children, they have power. You're dumb. You're just like your father. Those words have power. Those words grow up and manifest in behavior. And the crazy thing to me, having pastored for years, I've gotten to watch several generations grow up. I've seen people do it to their kids, and they come in my office, cryin', talkin' about, I don't know what's wrong with this girl. Yes, you do! You're getting the fruit of your lips. She is manifesting what you said.
Verbal abuse. We're Christians. We ought to know the power of words. The power of words. The power of speech. I'm wonderin', is your mouth a deadly, concealed weapon? You need a license for that thing. Y'all normally shoutin' me down by now. Then there's emotional rage, and this is what I slipped into. This is a result of not finding a way to communicate what you're frustrated about. Emotional rage is where you lock down emotionally.
I know you need it. I even have it, but because I have shut down what I'm angry about, I have also shut down what I would love to give you because the problem with a locked door is nothing gets out. So when you don't communicate, nothing comes out. Even positive things don't come out, so you have emotional rage.
Emotional rage leads to emotional abandonment. This is what women don't understand about men. He could come home every night, and he has left you 3 years ago. Just because our bodies come home doesn't mean that our emotions come home. Emotional abandonment is trauma, especially to somebody who breathes in the air of your affection, asphyxiated by your silence, asphyxiated because
It's been years since you touched me or held me or laughed at me, without wanting anything back, just making me feel safe and secure. And maybe you didn't beat 'em, You just denied 'em. Ecclesiastes 7 in 9 says something I want you to consider. Ecclesiastes 7 in 9: Be not angry. Don't be quick to be angry. Don't let that be your default mechanism where you quickly become angry and hostile. Don't be quick in your spirit to think evil, quick in your spirit to get revenge, quick in your spirit to go vent on somebody. Quit. Quit.
You don't even have all the facts. You heard that. You didn't even ask the other person. Shut up! You don't know yet! Don't be quick to be angry. Be not hasty in thy spirit to gotta get, for anger resteth in Anger resteth in the bosom of God said, If you are a person angry, God said, you're a Anger resteth in the bosom of fools.
First time I read that in and went to bed. I thought, Okay, that's enough. Thank you, Jesus. Anger resteth in the bosom of How could you be angry longer than the incident lasted? You've been angry 3 years over somethin' that took 3 minutes. Some of you have been livin' with somebody you've been angry with for the last 10 years they have seen you.
They haven't seen you: your love, your compassion, your creativity, your thoughtfulness. They have not seen who they married. They may not even divorce who they married. You may look like the person you* married. Haven't seen 'em for 10 years. Because anger has rested in the One of the hardest things to get out is a heart thing. A heart thing is hard to get out. It's hard to get out 'cause it always has reasons. It always justifies itself. It carries a license. I have a reason to be like My father was like this. I have a reason to be like this. He cheated on me.
I have a reason to be like that. She left me. 223;715848;717378;I have a reason to be like this. She doesn't love me. I have a reason-- it has a It has a reason. It has a reason. It has a reason. It has license. With everything, it has a license. You can't confiscate the weapon because you've given it a license.
When was the last time that your heart escaped the clutches of your anger and you were free to lift your hands and open your mouth and glorify God? When was the last time that your soul escaped out of the snare of the fowler? When was the last time that you opened your mouth and lift your hands and begin to praise God till you lost sight of what you had or who you came with or what was goin' to happen at work Monday or what people thought about you? When was the last time that you cried unto God? When?
Let's go to Scripture. Go to Genesis 49:5-7. Now, the father's about to die, and he's talking to his sons, and he's gathered them around the bed, and most of 'em, he gave different kinds of blessings, but when he came to Simeon and Levi, he said, Simeon and Levi are brethren, instruments of cruelty, instruments of cruelty are in their habitations.
O my soul, come not thou into their secret, unto their assembly, mine honour, be not thou united, for in their anger they slew a man, and in their self-will they digged down a wall. Because they were angry, the And because you were wall. Your stubbornness is tearin' It's affectin' more people than you. Cursed be their anger, for it was fierce, and their wrath, for it was cruel, I will divide them in Jacob, and scatter them in Israel.
One of the things he's upset because when the men of Shechem raped Dinah, Simeon and Levi went against their father, contrived to get even, talked the men into bein' circumcised, and then destroyed them while they were bleeding. Have you ever killed somebody while they were bleeding, caught them down and took advantage of them, knew they needed you, and you attacked them, set them up for the kill? Cursed be their anger.
Now they're old men. They're grown men, and the old man is gettin' ready to die, and they are still cursed. They missed their blessing because of their anger. How many blessings have you lost because of your anger? How many jobs have you lost because of your anger? How many women have you lost because of your anger? How many good men have you drove away because of your anger? My God, look at your kids! Did your anger have somethin' to do with the outcome in that house? Cursed be their anger.
Somebody holler, Cursed be The word curse speaks to the He didn't cuss their anger. He cursed their anger. Cursed be their anger. Cursed. When you curse, it speaks to an end of a thing. You will not end well because of your anger, you see? Cursed be their anger. Anger resteth in the bosom of Cursed be their anger.
Are you losing things because you're still angry? Some of you are angry at people who are dead. You're angry at people who have moved away. You're angry at people who are locked up in jail, but the curse is on you, which brings me to my next great point: Anger kills its landlord. Anger kills its landlord.
Numbers 20:9-12, And Moses took and he commanded him. And Moses and Aaron gathered the congregation together before the rock, and he said unto them, 'Hear now, ye rebels, must we fetch you water out of this rock?' And Moses lifted up his hands, and with his rod he smote the rock twice, and the waters came out abundantly, and the congregation drank, and their beasts also. And the Lord spake unto Moses and Aaron, 'Because ye believed me not, to sanctify me in the eyes of the children of Israel, therefore ye shall not bring this congregation into the land which I swear I had given you.' because he was angry.
Anger kills its landlord. Was Moses God's man? Absolutely. Was Moses anointed? Absolutely. Was Moses gifted? Absolutely. Was Moses chosen? Absolutely. But all of his life, Moses had a anger problem. All of his life. Maybe it's because of his unsettled childhood. Maybe it's because of somethin' that happened in the palace.
I don't know. I don't know all of his detail, but I do know that Moses got into stuff that he didn't need to get into, and it always messed him up. He jumped in a fight between the Hebrews and the Egyptians and ended up murderin' a man and had to flee the palace, and it delayed him 40 years from his assignment because he was a hothead. He was right about the conflict between them, but angry people, when anger controls, you could be right about the point but wrong about the method, and anytime you're right-wrong, it delays you.
Right-wrong. Right-wrong. I'm right, but I'm wrong. I'm wrong, but I'm right. And all of a sudden, I've spent 40 years! How old are you? I spent 40 years, delayed, landlord. And there, after 40 years, it took him 40 years to calm down enough to hear God again. And then God shows up to the angry man in a burning bush.
God said, You think you got I got fire. Moses, Moses, take off your shoes, for the ground you stand on is holy ground. And, all of a sudden, Moses does good till down to the end of the next 40 years. And then that old devil comes back and knocks at the door and says--see, we all have a devil to fight, a particular devil to fight. And Moses is frustrated, and Moses is tired. He's had moments of weakness, moments where he even argued with God. Moses would get up in God's face and say, They're not my people. They're your people. He'd have moments of anger, but one came because he was tired of dealin' with thirsty people. They kept needing more from him, and he felt limited, and he was tired.
Be careful of when you're tired. Be careful of when you're tired. And he had been with God. He'd just come from bein' with God, and he comes right out there and runs into frustration and smites the rock twice. How could you just come out the presence of God and go crazy? I know! How could you shout all over the parking lot? I'm slayin' in the Spirit! After 120 years, he gets up to it. He sees it, but he never gets to go into it. It took him 120 years to get to Mount Nebo, and he could only look at it. He could not go in because anger kills its landlord. How do I kill it?
It begins with admitting that you have it. In all of its forms that it hides in, in your silence, in your emotional emptiness, all of that is different forms of your anger. In your depression and your lethargic attitude, all of its different forms of your anger. You gotta admit it: I'm angry. And once you admit it, you have got to be able to talk, manage, not mute. Talk, man, open your mouth. Speak. Take the risk of being vulnerable. You won't die from being vulnerable. You'll die from being angry.
Go get what the devil is trying to steal from you. Get it back. If you have to cry, if you have to crawl, if you have to humble yourself, get it back. It is not about their reaction to you. It is about your freedom of awareness of who you are. Whatever they do back, it don't make any difference. You are you. You are free. Now, you can be angry and come to church, and you can be angry and sing in the choir, and you can be angry at the pastor of the church, and you could be angry and preach.
You could be angry and sing. You could be angry and praise the Lord. The Bible said, Let everything Lord, but you cannot be angry And it may be the reason that you don't enjoy worship is that worship requires that you open up. And you've been closed so long on the inside that you really don't look. When was the last time you got in the presence of God and worshipped God till tears were runnin' down your face? When was the last time you got lost in the presence of God till the Holy Spirit was able to touch your soul, not your image, but God was able to touch your soul? When was the last time that you got in his presence, and you lost all track of time because you were alone with God? When was the last time that you opened up your heart and deep calls unto deep, and the noise of thy waterspouts, O God, I bless, as the deer panteth after thee, O God.
When was the last time that you weren't afraid to expose your heart with all of its yings and all of its yangs and all of its issues, but you said, Just as I am, without one plea, but that thy blood was shed for me, O Lamb of God, I come to thee. When was the last time that your your anger, and you were free to lift your hands and open your mouth and glorify God? When was the last time that your soul escaped out of the snare of the fowler?
When was the last time that you opened your mouth and lift your hand and began to praise God till you lost sight of what you had or who you came with or what was goin' to happen at work Monday or what people thought about you? When was the last time that you cried unto God? When? When was the last time? When? When was the last time? I know you come to church, but when was the last time the church came to you? I wish I had somebody that would worship God, an organist that would play the organ, somebody that would clap their hands, somebody that would lift their hands in the presence of God!
Ah, I wish I had more time. That's a big subject, but I thank God that I was able to get some of it over to you in times like these. You've been locked up for years. Your love, your peace, your joy has been locked up, but I have a key for you today: worship. Whenever you worship God, the bands are loosened, the chains fall off. Why don't you walk in freedom and not in rage. May God bless you till we meet again.