TD Jakes - The Battle for the Soul
Genesis chapter 32, verses 22-32, how do you all do it? This is the closest a man ever comes to being pregnant: when you have a word on the inside and you’re waiting to give birth to it. This is as close as we will ever know what it’s like for you ladies when you have a child. I got in the car this morning with my brother, who was driving me. He could tell I was heavy—not heavy sad, but heavy pregnant. Yeah, you know how it is when you get heavy. Come on, ladies, don’t leave me out here because the brothers don’t know what in the world I’m talking about! So if y’all don’t get me out, I won’t get out, okay? Uh, we’re going to talk about some things today from the Word of God that I believe will bless your life.
That night, Jacob got up and took his two wives—Lord have mercy, it’s enough to have one—his two female servants, and his eleven sons, and crossed the ford of Jabbok. After he had sent them across the stream, he sent over all his possessions. So Jacob was left alone, and a man wrestled with him till daybreak. Be careful with that. When you see a man wrestle with him, this isn’t some guy who wandered up to him; this is what is called a theophany. It is a manifestation of God in the Old Testament. When the man saw that he could not overpower him, he touched the socket of Jacob’s hip so that his hip was wrenched as he wrestled with the man.
Then the man said, «Let me go, for it is daybreak.» But Jacob replied, «I will not let you go until you bless me.» The man asked him, «What is your name?» «Jacob,» he answered. It’s a blessing to know who you are. Then the man said, «Your name will no longer be Jacob but Israel, because you have struggled with God.» See, I told you it was God! You have struggled with God and with humans and have overcome. Jacob said, «Please tell me your name.» But he replied, «Why do you ask my name?» Then he blessed him there. He didn’t want to give him his name; it was a secret that wasn’t revealed yet; it wasn’t time to know his name—he was going to give his name to Mary.
So Jacob called the place Peniel, saying, «It is because I saw God face to face, and yet my life was spared.» The sun rose above him as he passed Peniel, and he was limping because of his hip. Therefore, to this day, the Israelites do not eat the tendon attached to the socket of the hip because the socket of Jacob’s hip was touched near the tendon. Can you say Amen?
Now, I want to do something I don’t do often. Remain standing; I’m going to pray. I have two subjects: my topic is «The Battle for the Soul,» and my subtitle is «Imposter Syndrome.» Let’s pray. Spirit of the Living God, fall fresh on us today in the name of Jesus. Let a special anointing fall on us as we open up the Word of God, that it might be clear and profound, provocative, that it might minister to us in a supernatural way. I thank you in advance for what you’re going to do. Have your way in this place, in Jesus' name, Amen. You may be seated in the presence of God. Jacob is a wrestler; he is a struggler. I want to set it up this way: I want Pastor T to come, I want Isaiah to come, and I want Pastor Tman to come—just real quick. I’ll make this quick illustration. Amen, amen, come on! Oh, I forgot! You ain’t moving too fast—these knees and these ankles, everything’s going down but the Word of God.
I’m going to put you in the middle. I’mma put you in the middle. I’mma put you in the middle, okay? You’re going to be the body because you’re the biggest. You’re going to be the soul because you’re the smallest, and you’re going to be the spirit. The body in Greek is called «soma.» The body in Greek is called «soma.» The soul, what we call soul in Greek, is called «psyche,» where we get psychology. It is where we hold our memories, our emotions, our tragedies, our adversities, our positivity, everything that we feel is housed here. Stress, happiness, joy lives here; it affects our soma, but it is not our soma. Our spirit in Greek is «pneuma,» meaning air, where you get pneumonia, meaning air. So in Greek, this is the spirit, the soul, and the body. I am a spirit; I don’t just have a spirit; I am a spirit. I live in a soma; I live in a body. This is my tabernacle; this is my apartment, but I am a spirit, I have a soul, and I live in a body.
Now I want my body to turn this way, and I want my spirit to turn this way, and I want you to grab a hold of my soul because this is what happens in our life. My spirit is trying to influence my psyche, okay? It’s trying to influence my psyche with who I really am, with what I can be, what I can do. But my body, my flesh, is reminding my psyche of what happened to me, what I’ve been through, what they said about me. There’s a war going on for my psyche because the Bible says it is with the mind that we serve the Lord. Okay?
So the spirit is trying to influence the soul, and the body is trying to influence the soul as well. Whatever my body partakes in affects my psyche. So if I’m a fornicator, a whoremonger, a liar, a cheater, an adulterer, whatever it is I’m doing, it’s going to affect my psyche; it’s going to affect my emotions. If I’m frustrated, if I’m hurt, if I’m wounded, if I was abused in my body, it’s going to affect my psyche. If I’m winning, going forward, prevailing, overcoming, it’s going to affect my psyche. And my spirit is going to try to affect my psyche with who God says I am, what God says I can have, what God says I can do, what God says I can be. Are you following what I’m saying?
Now turn and face this way for a minute. Turn back the way you were before. Now the war is for the mind; it is with the mind that we serve the Lord. The fight is for your mind. This is what keeps you up at night; this is what has you walking the floor at night; this is what frustrates you; this is what sends signals to your flesh—stress and pain and adversity—because this is under attack. Psyche now is not brain; brain and mind are two different things. The brain is a part of my body, okay? So you have to understand the difference between my brain and my psyche. Now watch this; can I go a little deeper?
In my spirit, I have God-consciousness. This is where I am most like God. God is a spirit, and they that worship Him must worship Him in spirit and in truth, okay? The spirit of the man is the candle of the Lord. In my spirit, I have God-consciousness; in my soul, I have my psyche; I have self-consciousness. So when I lose my mind, I don’t even know I’m here. «Mama, do you know who I am? Daddy, do you know who I am?» No, I tell, «Who is that stranger saying it over this?» This gives me self-consciousness, and my soma, my body, gives me world-consciousness. My soul, my psyche, doesn’t get cold; my spirit doesn’t get wet; it doesn’t care whether it’s a rainy day or a good day. But my body, which is in touch with the world, gives me feelings of cold, hot, rain, ice, sleep, storm, hail—touch, feelings.
So if I die, leave for a minute, B, then I lose world-consciousness. I don’t care whether you put me in the refrigerator or put me in the oven; it doesn’t make any difference because my body gives me world-consciousness. My soul gives me self-consciousness; my spirit gives me God-consciousness. If you don’t know God in your spirit, you can’t know God anywhere else. You must know God in your spirit. Come back, body! See, a lot of people are trying to know God in their flesh. They are trying to know God in their flesh. You cannot know God in your flesh; you have to know God in your spirit. Man is a triune being created in the likeness and image of God. He is one person. «Behold, all Israel, the Lord thy God is one,» but he has three parts, just like God has three parts: the Father in creation, the Son in redemption, the Holy Ghost in regeneration. Just like the Tabernacle had three parts: outer court, inner court, and holy of holies. So we have spirit, we have soul, we have body. God is consistent. Each one of them serves a different purpose in our lives.
So when the Word of God comes in, it is heard through the body, it is received in the spirit, and then ingrained into the soul. Glory to God! Faith cometh by hearing and hearing by the Word of God. And so I hear it in my body, I receive it in my spirit because my spirit has ears too. I don’t have time to teach that far, but my spirit has ears too. That’s why Jesus said, «He that hath an ear, let him hear what the Spirit saith unto the churches.» When he says that, he’s not talking about the outer ear, because everybody has an outer ear, but my spirit has an inner ear. When my natural body hears a word, and then my spiritual ear hears the word, then it whispers to my soul—whispers to my soul what thus saith the Lord, okay?
You see, watch this now; my spirit is the toughest part to handle because both of you whisper. It’s getting directions from both sides. Isaiah is getting directions from both sides. One side is saying, «Go out there and sleep around. Go out there and lie, cuss them out, tell them off, get them straight.» The other one is saying, «You’re a Christian, you’re washed in the blood, you’re holy, you’re born again, you’re more than a conqueror.» You’re getting it from both sides. «When I would do good, evil is present with me. That which I would do, I do not. Oh, wretched man that I am! Who shall save me from the body of this death?» Are you hearing what I’m saying to you?
Thank you, thank you, thank you. That sets the stage. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You get that, don’t you? You get that. So when I say «the battle for the soul,» it is the battle for the soul, and it goes on in all our lives. It happens to all of us. Sometimes we go through things, and we don’t even understand why we’re going through what we’re going through, but we’re going through them because God has a plan for our lives. Are you hearing what I’m saying?
Separate then your mind from your brain; separate your mind from your brain in your head. You need to understand that so that you can understand that there is a difference between a neurologist and a psychiatrist. If there’s something wrong with my brain, I want a neurologist. If there’s something wrong with my mind, I may want a psychiatrist. They are two different things because the body is physical, and the mind is not physical, though it is affected by physicalities. I’m going somewhere; it’s going to take me a minute, but I’m going to get there, and you’re going to wait on me.
If you study the brain, it isn’t just the size or the shape that’s different, but the way that the brain fires off with neurons is very different from person to person. We all have a head; we all have a brain, but it’s not the same. It doesn’t have the same capacity; it doesn’t fire at the same rate. We all have neurotransmitters that operate at different speeds, depending on where you are in life. So it becomes very difficult for you to judge me with your brain because my neurotransmitters may not operate or fire at the same rate yours fire at. The ability for the neurons to fire through transmitters determines how I think.
Okay, so I pulled a little bit of my research I’ve been doing on my book «Disruptive Thinking.» How I think may be different from how my father thinks, which may be different from how my mother thinks because genetically I am a composite of the two and not quite either. Are you with me? My brain is influenced genetically and experientially by the stress and experiences that I have, and I am a composite of both and not quite either, which creates a certain uniqueness. My fingerprint is different; my voice print is different.
I sound a lot like my father, but not quite. My son sounds a lot like me, but not quite, because I have a unique voice pattern, I have a unique fingerprint. Uniqueness also often creates aloneness because I don’t quite fit with anybody else. And because we think in a unique way, we have a tendency to judge people as if they were working with the same brain as we were. And we keep talking about what we would do, but what you would do and what I would do isn’t me being stubborn or stupid; it is just that I’m different, and if you love me and you’re going to deal with me, you have to study.
How I think so you can figure out how to deal with me because the way you experience an event isn’t how I experience it. My neurotransmitters are not firing like yours, and many psychiatrists believe that the firing of the transmitters controls the method through which I process thoughts or issues. How am I doing so far? This has everything to do with how I show up in the world. How do I show up in the world? Dressed in a way we often use to avoid the complications of who we are. A lot of times, we hide behind what we do to camouflage who we are. It’s going to be good today; if you wait on me, it’s going to be good today.
So, there I am; I look the same, but how I show up in the world has much to do with how I think. There are various methods—whether it is psychiatry or psychology, which would be counseling. Psychiatry deals more with medicine—how the secretions that come from the brain are balanced. Just like you take medicine for hypertension or diabetes, sometimes your brain isn’t sending the help you need to make the right choices, which affects how I show up in the world.
To complicate matters further, I haven’t even touched on demonic influence because that’s yet another factor we have to deal with. It is possible to have a psychological issue and a spiritual problem simultaneously. If you were in Bible class Wednesday night, I was working on demonology in a profound way. So, how do I show up in the world, and how do people see me? A lot of times, my camouflage is what I do. In reality, what I do can consume who I am, to the point that I am so bent on showing you what I do that nobody knows who I am. So, we say Dr. Jill is a doctor; we say Dr. Williams is a doctor, but Dr. Williams is a person with a doctorate. We show up in the world in the disguise of our accomplishments. T.D. Jakes is a preacher, but T.D. Jakes is also a person, and sometimes the title becomes bigger than the individual. Come on, somebody! You’re a husband; you show up in the world as a husband, but you’re also a person, and sometimes what you do gets in the way of who you are until it creates impostor syndrome.
Impostor syndrome describes those moments in your life; it’s not a condition but an experience, and we’ve all had it. You question who you are versus how they see you, and you play the role—you play the role of a husband, the role of a wife, the role of a preacher for various reasons, because you don’t want people to see that who you are may not be at its best. Then you become plagued with impostor syndrome because you don’t feel legitimate when you try to equate who you are with what they expect from you. Am I getting into some stuff? A pregnant woman goes through her pregnancy and wonders, «Am I really a mother? Am I going to be a good mother?» Maybe she has a baby, and at moments she feels inadequate, like she doesn’t have what it takes to be a mother. She may feel like an impostor for a week, a month, or even three months.
We all wrestle with feelings of impostor syndrome. Survivors of atrocities feel guilty because they survived when others didn’t. They are present, but they feel like impostors sometimes. Degree-holding individuals work in fields they have no passion for because they feel like impostors. They have the credentials to do the job, but not the passion for it. So, there you are, working on people, but you really don’t like people; you have those moments of feeling like an impostor, and they grate on your nerves. Yet your credentials say you are there to serve people, but you feel like an impostor because sometimes you’re sick of the very people you are serving. Preachers often break down under the weight of unworthiness because they feel called to something they don’t feel competent to do. The expectation of a preacher is not simply to teach about God but to embody God. The weight of their expectations for you to show up in that way drives you into isolation just to admit your own humanity.
Husbands have moments of feeling like they’re playing a role, trying to fulfill a script they were not always given. Sometimes we’re playing a role we never saw, a role someone else wrote for us that we never agreed to. Sometimes wives feel like they’re playing a role too; «I don’t feel like cooking for you! What about me? What about my career? What about what I want to do?» Yet she goes ahead, cooks breakfast, serves it, and feels like an impostor. Paul talks about it this way: let me deal with this one first. Parents felt guilty during COVID because they found out that eight hours of teaching their distracted children wasn’t as easy as they thought. Have there ever been moments when you got sick of your own kids? Yeah, but you still had to take care of them. Still, you felt impostor syndrome, and there are moments when your kids get sick of you too. You’ve got to hold the family together when everyone goes through periods and moments of feeling like impostors. How you manage those emotions again is not fatal; it’s not terminal, and often it’s not permanent.
We all go through moments of impostor syndrome, and this can come with guilt, pain, agony, and fear of discovery. It also carries feelings of unworthiness. Sometimes you show up in the world, and God has blessed your life, but you came from the hood. When you come from the hood and show up in the corporate world, you might walk away from a job not because you weren’t good at it but because deep down you felt like an impostor. You can wear the right clothes, use the right terms, and discuss matters in a very professional way, yet it may feel illegitimate. As soon as you get home, you take off the persona and say, «What’s up, dude? What’s going on, man? I’m telling you, you’re getting on my nerves.» You have to show up as that impostor.
Paul says, «I find then a law that when I would do good, evil is present with me. That which I would do, I do not; that which I would not do, I do. Oh, wretched man that I am! Who shall deliver me from the body of this death?» It’s not that I don’t want to do good, but evil is also present. It’s not that my spirit isn’t guiding me, but my body is also making demands. Sometimes I show up in the world confused; I am trapped between two worlds. The first step to addressing the nefarious effects of impostor syndrome is understanding what it is: recognizing that impostor syndrome is best understood as a tendency rather than a type of person. It is a tendency, not a diagnosis. It’s a tendency to wonder about yourself; it’s the feeling of not being authentic. It’s a tendency to show up in the world as expected and go home exhausted from having to wear that façade.
This means the world is not made up of impostors and non-impostors, so don’t get on your high horse and say, «I’m not one of them!» Because at some point, you have been one of them. At some point, you young people talk about keeping it 100. Keeping it 100 can kill you. If your wife asks, «Does my behind look big in this dress?» it’s better to show up in the world as she expects you to. If you give her the absolute truth, you might end your relationship. Do you ever think about anyone other than me? Both genders, don’t laugh; both genders. Impostor syndrome comes with its own weight, its own pressure. In any given situation, we can all act in a way that is harmful to ourselves, and some people respond this way more often than others.
Some people get stuck in impostor syndrome, and the weight of being an impostor pushes them down—not always negativity. Sometimes you can be successful and still experience impostor syndrome. You may self-sabotage because of impostor syndrome. You have a nice car, a nice house, a nice family, but you don’t feel worthy of that, and you don’t stop until you wreck it. Talk to me, somebody! You feel like an impostor because what God gave you doesn’t align with your background, and your body reminds you of where you came from. You say, «You know you don’t deserve that. Nobody should love you.» Even if I love you, you may reject my love because that love is unfamiliar to you. I don’t love myself, so I won’t let you love me. I don’t believe you truly love me; I don’t know how to receive that love because I am wrestling with impostor syndrome.
It isn’t just a drain on your morale; it has been shown to induce feelings of depression. Poor mental health can block career advancement. You can sabotage your career advancement because you are smart enough to go places you don’t feel you deserve. You dumb down your creativity to fit your comfort zone and walk away from opportunities because of impostor syndrome. You diminish job satisfaction and feel trapped in your current role because you believe you have no other options. You convince yourself that you’re imprisoned in your situation because you have impostor syndrome. You don’t feel worthy of anything else; you lack the courage to change, and you don’t believe you’re smart. You’re miserable where you are, yet you won’t go where you could be because you are trapped in impostor syndrome.
Oh God, do you hear what I’m saying? This is good; this is good. The book is called «Disruptive Thinking,» but I’m just giving you a little piece of it. It’s not out yet; you can’t even pre-order it yet. I’m in the middle of writing it, and I wanted to share this part with you today because I felt like it couldn’t wait. Someone in this room is about to be delivered from impostor syndrome. We shouldn’t let our mindset bring us down. The frustrating thing about leading and talking to people today is that they are often controlled by how they feel. I have never seen so many people whose response to everything is dictated by their feelings. You cannot trust your feelings; they can be inconsistent. Instead of responding to facts, you respond to feelings as if they were king. Don’t let your psyche control your actions and how your spirit feels, because your psyche gets its input from too many voices coming from different places simultaneously.
Jacob wrestles within himself as I step into the text; he fights within himself. He has been a fighter all his life. Prenatally, he was fighting in his mother’s womb. He is a fighter by nature. He fought with Esau even before birth. Suddenly we see a reverse birth order as he comes forth from the womb, battling the challenges he must encounter in life. You will always wrestle with the circumstances into which you were born. If you came into the world unwanted, then rejection and abandonment echo loudly in your ears. «I didn’t reject you; I chose someone else.» Your emotions are shaped by your entry into the world. Jacob was fighting when he got here, then he fought for his birthright, and he was a trickster, a con artist, and a schemer. It’s not that he was a bad person; he was born into an environment that taught him to do whatever it took to get ahead.
That’s why online dating scares me—I can be anybody I want to be online! I want to see your family, your past, how you act when things don’t go well. I want to see the real you. Don’t just text me; I want the true picture of who you are! I want to be able to examine you because if we’re going to be married, we will go through everything together. I need to know what «mad» looks like; I need to know what «sad» looks like; I need to know what «depressed» looks like. I need to see whether these feelings fit within the guardrails of what I can live with. I’m not asking you to be perfect, but I do have guardrails. There is a jump-off point for me; I will distance myself from you if you show me crazy.
If it’s a little bit of crazy, I can manage, but if it’s a whole lot of crazy, I might have to go. Talk to me, somebody. Come on, talk to me! Jacob has tricked Esau out of his birthright. Watch this: he has tricked Esau out of his birthright; he has sold it for a pot of soup. He got the birthright, but he never felt right. Now you see the connection. He got the birthright, but he never felt right because he didn’t really earn it. He tricked himself into acquiring the birthright, and so even though he has the blessing that comes along with it, he doesn’t really feel right and can’t enjoy it because he feels like an impostor. He fed himself a lie to get something that wasn’t his, and now he’s got the blessing, but he can’t handle what he has.
You may have gotten what you wanted, but you don’t want what you’ve got. After tricking and scheming, yes, you got the man, but now you don’t want him. Yes, you got my job, but now you can’t handle the responsibility. Yes, you took the church, but now you can’t manage it because you tricked, scammed, sabotaged, and destroyed other people to get where you were trying to go. Now you’re in a situation where Jacob has what he wanted, but he doesn’t want what he has because in the back of his mind, he wonders, «Am I an impostor?»
The text I read has little to do with what I want to preach; it is the meat. I want to spend all my time on the bread. Everybody else talks about what happened to Jacob on the mountaintop wrestling with God. I want to show you why he’s wrestling with God. He is wrestling with God because if you read the previous verses, he’s about to meet Esau after years of being away from his brother, from whom he tricked the birthright. Now he is concerned because sooner or later, you will have to confront what you’ve done. You can’t run away from it. Sooner or later, you’re going to have to come face-to-face with who you deceived, who you tricked, and who you confronted. It’s only a matter of time before you have to deal with it.
Jacob is walking in blessings; if you read the previous verses, he’s walking in blessings. He has two wives, two families, sheep, oxen, cattle—he has abundance. He has everything you could ever want because he possesses the birthright, but he doesn’t feel right. Is there someone here who has the birthright but doesn’t feel right? Anyone else would love to be in your shoes; they would love to have your position and what you have, but you have it and can’t enjoy it because you have impostor syndrome. We have to spend all day trying to reinforce your self-esteem and confidence because you don’t feel worthy of where God placed you. You’ve got the sheep, the oxen, the cattle, the kids, and the wives—you’ve got everything—and you’re still not happy.
No matter how high we exalt you, you’re still not happy. You think that if you reach a certain place, it will make you happy. I came to tell you that I don’t care how high you go; it’s not going to make you happy because your misery is not coming from the outside; it’s coming from the inside. I know you can’t shout because you’re sitting next to someone who’s going through that, but wiggle your toes, blink your nose, or flash your eyes, because you’ve met people like I’ve met people who complain about everything and are not happy about anything. Deep down inside, you scammed your way to get where you are, and now you’re there, but you don’t feel authentic. They tell him, «Esau is coming, Esau is coming,» and he does not want to see Esau because he tricked him and ripped him off.
He’s living a life that includes Esau’s wife, cattle, oxen, birthright, and opportunity, and he has this feeling of impostor syndrome because he knows he is complicit in taking from Esau what he thinks was rightfully his. He doesn’t feel worthy because of how his neurotransmitters are processing what happened in his life. The story that you tell yourself will either build you up or tear you down, and he doesn’t think he’s worthy. He has not acknowledged the sovereignty of God. He has not realized that God hated Esau and loved Jacob. He can’t accept that kind of love because he feels like an impostor. He has not recognized the fact that the steps of a good man are ordered by the Lord and that the Lord delights in his way.
Even when you do wrong, God will make it all work together for good. He has not realized that all things work together for the good of those who love the Lord. All he knows is that Esau is coming, and he feels like an impostor in his own life. He separates his blessings because they tell him Esau is coming with 400 men. He says, «Oh my God, they’re coming to kill me.» Maybe if I separate my wives and my blessings, they won’t take everything; perhaps I’ll keep half. He thinks for sure he’s going to be destroyed because he has never owned the blessing he has received. He’s aware of his own wretchedness, his own wickedness, and his own humanity, and he can’t enjoy it because he’s wrestling with impostor syndrome.
There is a battle going on; it’s not in the womb this time, and it’s not for the birthright. This time it’s a battle for his soul; it’s a battle for his sleep, a battle for his peace. I don’t know who I’m preaching to today; you have arrived, but you’re not there. You’ve got a better bed, but you can’t sleep in it. You’ve got a nice house, but you don’t enjoy it. Others are envious of your life, but you don’t appreciate it because of all the things you went through along the way. You are aware of your own wretchedness. «Oh wretched man that I am! Who will deliver me from this body of death?»
You’re driving around in your big car, but you need deliverance. You’re in your big house, but you need deliverance. You’ve got a beautiful wife, but you need deliverance because you are aware of your own wretchedness. And there Jacob is, living in fear; he’s blessed but living in fear. He says to himself, «I don’t deserve what I have» because his sins are ever before him. Whose sins are not? Give me five more minutes; I’m coming to the point. I’m on my way somewhere, but I’ve got to ride this sucker till I kill it. I’ve got to break it down to the floor. The Hebrew word there is «aren,» where we get «arena,» and it means that this is where men fight in the dirt; gladiators fight in the dirt.
Jacob is in an arena; he is fighting in the dirt. Whether you dance, shout, skip, or jump, all of us have had seasons where we were wrestling in the dirt—not with a hater, not with an enemy, but with ourselves, with our minds, with our own heads, with our own thoughts. If it had been an assailant, I would have killed him; if it had been Goliath, I would have knocked him out. But I had to get down in the dirt with my own head and ask, «What’s really going on with you?» Am I preaching to anybody in this room? You’re in the arena. The arena is not the size of the Coliseum; it is the ground you’re fighting on—it’s fighting in dirt. Everybody here has had to fight in dirt to get where you are.
If you made it anywhere at all, you had to fight in the dirt. You had to get down in the dirt and say, «Though he slay me, yet will I trust him.» You had to get down in the dirt and say, «I’m thinking crazy; I’m thinking like a fool. Why do I keep sabotaging myself? What is it about me that causes me to mess up everything I lay my hands on?» It is a fight to the finish; it is a battle for the soul, and it’s not just demons, witches, and curses. It’s the stuff you’ve been through that wakes you up in the middle of the night and wrestles you down to the floor, telling you you’re not worthy of what you’re praying for. Your mouth is saying one thing, but your mind is saying something else, and until you get your mind and mouth to come into agreement, you cannot receive the blessings of God.
I’m going to preach it whether you like it or not. I’m going to preach it until demons tremble. I’m going to preach it until hell gets nervous; I’m going to preach it until somebody gets a breakthrough. Here comes Esau! Look at somebody and say, «Esau is coming.» Esau is that showdown moment we all face sooner or later with our lives that determines what makes you or breaks you. When you have that Esau moment, either you confront him or you die. Not because he’s going to kill you—see, Jacob thought Esau was coming to kill him, and that’s why he divided the troops, trying to protect himself. But Esau wasn’t killing Jacob; Jacob was killing Jacob. Help me, Holy Ghost! I need some help in here. I could cast out devils, but I can’t cast out self. If it was a demon after you, I could cast out the demon.
But when you’re after yourself, it becomes hard to cast it out because self doesn’t want to let go of its grip over your destiny. But the devil is a liar! We dealt with demons last week; I’m going to deal with you this week. Why are you sabotaging you? Why are you stopping you? Why are you hurting you? Esau is coming, and like all people who wrestle with impostor syndrome, it has driven Jacob into isolation. Now I’m in my text: Jacob was left alone with God. If you’re not careful, you will end up where you have nobody but God.
Isolation can drive you into such seclusion that you can’t talk to anyone, can’t open up to anybody, and can’t communicate with anyone. Everyone who tries to get to you, you either run from them or find an excuse not to love them because you think that if they saw who you really were, they wouldn’t love you. All your life, you’ve been a trickster and a scammer. «Jacob, what is your name?» The Bible said Jacob was left alone with God. Some of you wonder why doors have been closed and friends have been shut down. God has been wanting to get you by yourself so He could work on your head and get you together. I want you to name this Sunday «Breakthrough Sunday» because a breakthrough is coming into your life. Oh my God, do you feel the Holy Ghost in this place? The anointing of God is here! Shake yourself and say, «I’ve got to get out of this!»
The Bible says—good God, the Bible says—the Bible says that Jacob was left alone with God, and that’s where the wrestling begins. That’s all he knows how to do—fight. He’s been fighting in the womb; he’s been fighting for the birthright; he’s been fighting his own guilt; he’s been fighting his own past. Even when God comes, he starts fighting God. But if you’re fighting God, you can’t win. Sooner or later, God is going to get the victory out of your life.
I don’t know who I’m talking to tonight, but I’m talking to someone in this room. God’s got you surrounded; he’s got you surrounded on the left, on the right, and everything that’s been on you is about to break off of your life. Struggle all you want, but God’s going to win this battle in your life. Somebody give Him 30 seconds of crazy praise—30 seconds of crazy praise! Slap someone and tell them, «Tonight we wrestle! Tonight we wrestle! We’re not going to dance; we’re not going to shout; we’re not going to run; tonight we wrestle. We wrestle until I find out who I am; we wrestle until I get loose from the enemy; we wrestle until I stand up on my feet; we wrestle until the yoke is broken over my life.»
With God, wrestle with me, Jesus, but don’t leave me. Wrestle with me until my soul says «yeah.» Oh God, I feel like preaching! Wrestle with me until my mind says «yeah.» Wrestle with me until I get healed. Wrestle with me until I am whole. I won’t let you go until you bless my soul. My spirit is weary, my body is weary, but I won’t let you go until you bless my soul. If I’m preaching to you, make some noise in this place! I won’t let you go! I won’t let you go! I won’t let you go! I don’t care who sits down; I’m going to jump up. I don’t care who won’t praise you; I’m going to praise you. If I have to lay out on the altar, if I have to crawl down the aisle, I won’t let you go until I break this cycle, until I break this curse, until I break this situation.
Look at your neighbor and say, «I’ve got to break it!» Move your pocketbook because I’ve got to break it! Get your legs out of the way because I’ve got to break it! I’ve got to break it! If I have to step on your shoes, I’ve got to break this thing that’s trying to break me. I dare you to praise Him! I said, I dare you to praise Him! I said, I dare you to praise Him! You don’t hear me; open your mouth like you’re mad and praise Him! Open your mouth like you’re in a fight and praise Him! Open your mouth like you’re desperate in praise! And the Bible said that they wrestled all night long until the day was about to break. And the Bible says when the daybreak came, the angel struck Jacob in his hip joint.
Look at your neighbor and say, «God’s going to win this fight!» If He has to knock you out, He’s going to win this fight! If He has to bring you to your knees, He’s going to win this fight! If He has to lay you out on the floor, God is going to win this fight! Uh, the Lord told me to tell you to get yourself together! You’re running out of time! Stop making excuses! Uh, you’re running out of time! Stop blaming everybody! You’re running out of time! Behold, the day breaks! Who am I preaching to?
Make some noise in this place! Make some noise until hell gets nervous! Make some noise until demons tremble! Make some noise until you get your peace back! Make some noise until you stop going off on everybody! Make some noise until you get your joy back! Make some noise! Make some noise! You don’t know who you are; you don’t know what you can be; you don’t know what you can have; you don’t know what you can do! I dare you to make some noise! Breakthrough, breakthrough, breakthrough, breakthrough, breakthrough! Say it seven times! Breakthrough, breakthrough, breakthrough, breakthrough! Seven times! Breakthrough, breakthrough, breakthrough, breakthrough, breakthrough!
Say, «Breakthrough!» Breakthrough in my mind! In my finances! In my life! In my body! In my heart! In my spirit! In my marriage! In my home! In my praise life! In my prayer life! God said it’s going to be breakthrough! It’s going to be breakthrough! I’m tired of being caught between two opinions! I’m tired of being an impostor in my own life! I want a breakthrough! I want a breakthrough! I want a breakthrough! I want to break through! I want to break! Yes, Lord! So, there were two things—I’m almost finished—that God did. One, He struck him in the hip joint; He smote him in the joints! Somebody in here, you just went through something very painful, and God said, «I did it to bring you to the point that you stop fighting Me and start clinging to Me.» Glory to God!
Come here, Tor! You fought God as long as you could fight Him! You fought Him in the morning, you fought Him in the evening, you fought His word! You’re stubborn; you want it your way! It looks like you’re going to prevail, but then He strikes you at the hip joint, and now you’re leaning on who you used to be! Fighting with God! Said, «I’m going to bring you to your knees! I’m going to make you say uncle! I’m going to make you say yes! I’m going to make you sell out! I’m going to make you surrender! You’re going to stop fighting Me and start clinging to Me!» I don’t know who I’m preaching to, but I’m preaching to somebody! God’s going to win this fight for your soul! I dare you to praise Him right now! Yeah, yeah!