TD Jakes - To Whom Much Is Given, Much Is Required
You can be complacent and not even know it. You don’t always have the benefit of having someone in your ear, raising you, developing you. Coming from a culture, an environment, or a family that lends itself to causing you to believe that there is something exceptional that God has planned for your life. If you’re not careful, most of us settle. It is easy to settle. If I take this glass, pour sand in it, put a spoon in it, and stir it up, I have to work to keep it stirred; however, I have to do nothing for it to settle. When I take the spoon out, left to its own devices, it settles. And when we settle, we often settle into a place of complacency.
Now, complacency is defined like this: it is a feeling of quiet pleasure or security, often while unaware of some potential danger or defect, or the like; self-satisfaction or smug satisfaction with an existing situation or condition. Just being satisfied isn’t bad, but it becomes a problem when we are satisfied with less than what God has for us. It is easy to become content with less than what God has for us because we don’t always know what that is, and we don’t always understand what it takes to truly revolutionize our lives and come to a place where we genuinely pursue what God has for us.
Now, it is difficult to distinguish between peace, faith—things we’re taught in church—and complacency. How do you determine the difference between peace, which is also calm, subtle, and relaxing, and complacency? Let’s clarify: there’s a difference between trusting God after you’ve done all you can do, as opposed to complacency, which is the assumption that you can invest less effort and still maintain responsibility. You reach a point where you don’t think you really have to give your best because you’re «in now.»
Let me break it down for you. It’s like the difference between the dating you and the married you. Complacency is also like the difference between your first month on the job and your tenth year on the job. Complacency begins to occur when we no longer put our full effort into becoming what God wants us to be. We live in a world that creates two polarized ideologies. Follow me; I want you to think with me for a little while.
The world has two polarizing ideologies that I want to address. On one hand, there’s a deep feeling of inadequacy. You have people who feel inadequate; this voice says your best is not enough, and maybe you’re not enough. They live with an inferiority complex, an insecurity. Nothing they do is ever applauded within. It doesn’t mean that it’s not praised outwardly, but inwardly, they never cheer for themselves; they don’t appreciate their accomplishments. They are off to the next battle, the next thing, and when they look back, they always see something wrong and can never recognize what is right. They have been conditioned to view themselves from a position of inferiority.
Often, we seek affirmation from others, making us hungry for validation; we’re starving for affirmation. See, when you cheer for yourself, you don’t desperately need someone else to cheer for you. This is important; it ruins our relationships because we don’t often marry for companionship. Sometimes we marry because we want affirmation, so we assign our spouses the job of cheering for us. As long as they clap, we’re good. But eventually, the spouse gets tired of clapping for someone who’s leaking. If you’ve ever tried that, no matter how much you cheer for them, they never hold onto your applause. These are the people who keep asking, «Do you love me?» You asked me that yesterday. «Yeah, do you think I’m pretty?» I told you on Monday that you’re pretty; this is just Tuesday; it has leaked out already. «Do you think I’m smart?» Yes, I think you’re smart. And then they ask, «I don’t know; I feel down.»
The reason it leaks is that you’re pouring into them things they don’t agree with. I’m not just talking about believing in oneself; I’m not even talking about believing in God. I’m talking about allowing positivity to be internalized when it’s due. When you’ve truly done the work and achieved something remarkable, take a moment to appreciate it. I have to work on this in my own life; sometimes I’m so busy moving on to the next thing that I don’t take the time to just «selah.»
The word «selah» in Psalms is a musical term that means to pause, breathe it in, and let it soak into you what you’ve accomplished. Am I talking good this morning? If you don’t internalize it, don’t assign me the job of telling you what you ought to be telling yourself. I’m not talking about pumping yourself up when things are bad. I’m not talking about lying to yourself when it’s bad. I’m talking about applauding yourself when it is good.
Clap for yourself! Some of you even felt funny doing that. You felt strange knowing that you’re not used to cheering for yourself. But God shows us how to do this in the book of Genesis. The Bible says that God stepped out on nothing, said, «Let there be something,» and let there be light; and there was light. The evening and the morning were the first day. And guess what? No angels, no choir, no spouse, no friends, nobody came along. No praise team cheered for God. He said, «It was good.» It doesn’t have to be finished to be good. It doesn’t have to be completed to be good. God said, «I’ve got more to do tomorrow, but what I’ve done today is good.»
See, some of you wait too long to clap. You’re not going to clap until it’s finished, but you must clap for every accomplishment and celebrate every step. The steps of a good man are ordered by the Lord, and He delights in their way. Every time you take a step, you need to clap for that step because at least you’re further than where you were. You may not be where you’re going, but you’re further than you were. Am I talking to anyone this morning? So, you need to praise God for baby steps, progress, and improvement. Celebrate within yourself and don’t be afraid to look yourself in the mirror and say, «You did that well! You did that really well!»
You’ll never be able to determine who you need in your life until you feel your own void. You’ll choose someone out of your pain, and when you get well, you don’t want them anymore. I call it «marrying your nurse.» You’re attracted to them because you’re sick, and they are good at making you feel better. But when you get better, you have no purpose for them, and suddenly you say you’ve outgrown them. No, you haven’t outgrown them; you just built a world around your affliction.
On the other extreme, but equally dangerous, is the assumption that what God has given to you requires nothing of you. You don’t put anything into it; you just receive it. You think it ought to be there. Anything you add to your life requires your attention. If you have a goldfish, you must feed it. If you get a cute little puppy, you have to walk it, take it out, clean it, and take it to the vet. If you buy a car, you need oil; if you buy a car, you need gas. Anything you add to your life will require more of you. Stop adding more than you’re willing to maintain.
Say this word with me: «No.» Some of you have said yes so much that you assume you’re collecting trinkets to keep on a shelf. In reality, you keep saying yes without really taking care of what you already have. You keep adding more, more, and more to your life, and then somewhere on some therapist’s couch, you say, «I’m overwhelmed, I’m nervous, I’ve got anxiety.» And I guess you do! To him whom much is given, much is required. This grandiose mentality has led you to a place of utter frustration. You underestimate what greatness costs. I’m going to say that again: you underestimate what greatness costs.
This is a dangerous thing! You don’t seek to keep up, advance your skills, study, or work out. You don’t seek to maintain your relationships, keep them spicy and interesting. You think, «I’ve got that unlocked!» You do not have it unlocked! You never have it unlocked. You don’t have your husband on lock; you don’t have your wife on lock; you don’t have your career on lock; you don’t have your child on lock; you don’t have your mom on lock. You never have anything on lock!
That’s why you have to celebrate people while you have them. You have to love them while you’ve got them. You have to pour into them while they’re there. You don’t have it on lock! Somebody is after your job right now; somebody is after your spouse right now; somebody is after your house right now; somebody is after your position right now! Never fall into complacency and think that you’re so wonderful just being there; it’s all that’s required. No, no, no! Complacency will not do it! You’ve got to put some grind into it, some sweat into it, some work into it. That’s why you don’t need too many hits because every «it» you take on is going to take something from you. It’s going to give something to you, but it’s going to take something from you.
There may not be enough of you to handle all the places you’ve said yes to, and you’ve got to be able to evaluate: am I a pint-sized container with a gallon-sized appetite?
Complacency expects reward without sacrifice. You want to be rewarded as if you’re doing more than you are. You take people, places, and things for granted. That’s all it means; you just take them for granted. You think they’ll always be there and often blame anyone, past, present, or future, to avoid taking responsibility for outcomes. You’ll even blame God! You’ll even blame God. «God didn’t come through! I paid my tithes! I gave my offerings! They said God was going to give me a double portion, and God didn’t come through.»
He did come through; you spent it! You’re not going to like me today, and it’s Mother’s Day! The message may not be good, but the dinner after this is going to blow your mind! It’s going to be a great dinner after this; come on, somebody! You don’t understand. God gets blamed for everything that we didn’t do ourselves! God didn’t do it! You can’t sit back apathetically, differently put it on autopilot, and expect God to do everything in your life. It does not work! It is a lackadaisical attitude; it’s a naivety that we take for granted and assume that we are just so wonderful, so special, and so great!
We’re just so grandiose that we expect everyone to be glad we showed up for work this morning. No, I’m not glad you showed up—what did you accomplish? And it starts in our childhood: «You’re so wonderful! You’re so gorgeous! You’re so special! You’re so amazing!» And you think you’re so wonderful that you don’t have to work. That’s wrong! You’re not that wonderful! We’re not that amazed by you! We’re not that captivated by you that you can neglect your responsibilities and now want to be celebrated!
It is difficult to celebrate a mother that didn’t mother. It is difficult to celebrate a man as the head of a household if he’s not there, if he doesn’t provide, if he doesn’t do it, if he doesn’t work. «But I’m the man of this house!» I’m glad you told me, because these bills aren’t getting paid! Stop taking trophies for races you didn’t run!