TD Jakes - Are You Yet Becoming: Trust the Process (05/15/2025)
The preacher emphasizes that most people are still "becoming" and don't fully know their identity yet, stressing that the often-overlooked process of growth—through wilderness, isolation, and vulnerability—is far more vital than rushing to the finished product. Using Adam's lack of process, Jesus' incarnation, and Zacchaeus' encounter on the road, he teaches that true preparation and authentic identity emerge in the difficult journey, not instant success.
The reality of how it is, however, is that most people don’t know who they are. It is not that you meet people often who have a definitive description that accurately and profoundly defines who a person is; rather, in fact, most people possess a question mark, not an exclamation point, over their heads because they are uncertain about their identity.
They are not foolish or ignorant—simply evolving, transforming, merely vessels of clay spinning on a wheel, touched by a master before it appears what they shall become. So, when we ask them who they are, it becomes difficult for them to define themselves because they are in the process of becoming.
The Importance of the Process
This process of becoming is extremely important; the process itself is often more important than the product. If the process is not comprehensive, the product will be fragile and broken. We race to the finished product, but we lack a true appreciation for the process.
Personally, I believe one reason it became difficult for Adam to withstand the temptation that Eve offered him is that Adam was created fully grown. Anytime you are thrust into something without a process, you lack the ability to manage what has been given to you. It is in the process itself that one learns to manage what has been thrust upon them.
He was born a man, having been a baby, then evolving into a toddler, and becoming a young person. Ultimately, going through adolescence is a part of development that aids in discovering who you are.
However, to be shaped out of clay, breathed into with life, and suddenly to wake up as a man, a husband, and a father is a lot to thrust upon someone who was a lump of clay just a moment ago. Yet, some people in this room will be thrust into areas that do not reflect their background, and it will be difficult for them to withstand the very thing they asked God for because they asked for the product, not the process.
The Danger of Skipping Preparation
Many times, God will oblige and allow you to have the product without the process. You may not realize that it is, in fact, the process that prepares you to withstand the weight, the pain, and the agony of the product itself.
I submit for your consideration that 80% of people who win the lottery go broke within two years. They go broke in two years because they are thrust into a lifestyle for which their lives have not been prepared. They lack the right attorneys, the right PR people, the right accountants, and the right relationships—connections that accompany the level of grandeur to which they have been elevated.
There they are, with the Bill Gates wallet and a Joe’s pool hall mentality. It is better to enter into something gradually.
The first man, Adam, was born a man, while the second man, Adam, was born of a virgin. Look at how much better he fared with temptation because he underwent a process. He was born of a virgin, lived in a manger, was wrapped in swaddling clothes, and at 12 years old, he confounded the doctors and lawyers.
Incubation in Obscurity
He disappeared from history for 18 years because real greatness must be incubated in isolation. I said real greatness must be incubated in isolation.
You don’t want the spotlight to hit you while you are still evolving because critics will kill you before you become who God wants you to be. Sometimes, God will hide your 18 years of confusion about who you are until you reach some conclusion and then bring you back into the spotlight.
Tina Turner was better in her second round than in the first because she had time to incubate in moments of obscurity, reflecting on her marriage, her life, her trials, and her failures—all of which require privacy for reflection.
What I exalt before you is not the promise but the wilderness; it is not the mandates nor the milk and honey that I have come to preach about. It is the significance of the wilderness, the isolation, the frustration, the murmuring, the complaining, and those times when you feel like throwing up your hands and walking away.
The Wilderness Prepares You
Those are the moments that prepare you for the promised land. Without that preparation, you won’t be able to fight off the Amorites, the Hittites, the Jebusites, and all the challenges that come along with your journey.
The artist India.Arie expressed it well: “Slow down, baby, you’re moving too fast. You’ve got your hands on the wheel and your foot on the gas; you’re about to wreck your future while running from your past.” Slow down, baby; you’re moving too fast.
Messages like this are not easy to preach because people prefer immediate messages—right now, straightway, suddenly. However, the reality is that in order to have something that lasts a lifetime, you must take your time. Sudden decisions are often not good decisions.
It's Okay to Be Becoming
I bring all of this before you today because finding out who you are takes time—a long time. The answer you give when someone asks you who you are at 15 is completely different from who you are at 25. Then, someone might ask you at 42 who you are, and you might want to dismiss everything you said at 25 because you are still becoming.
At the risk of disagreeing with Dr. Maya Angelou, please don’t rush to tell me who you are because I might believe it, and then that belief could imprison you to who you were. It’s okay to say, “I don’t know yet; I’m becoming, I’m developing, I’m not sure who I am.” It’s perfectly acceptable to say, “I’m still on a journey.”
I want to give you language that describes confusion, incompleteness, isolation, and wandering: you can simply say, “I’m still on a journey. I’m still becoming. I’m still evolving.” I’m on the road to greatness, wisdom, victory, mastery.
If you are not comfortable with not being finished, you will torment yourself trying to be what you are not, striving to live up to an image. If you cannot find satisfaction in being on the road, you will create camouflage to cover your imperfections.
Trouble on the Road
Just because you can buy a designer suit doesn’t mean you hold a PhD. You have to allow yourself time to evolve. He faced similar struggles—rejection, ostracism, alienation from his people, and he was relegated to a group that had earned the ire of his peers. Still, he sought Jesus.
Now, let us put the text into context. Jesus himself is on a journey—he is on a march toward death, heading toward his execution. He moves toward everything that he has taught being put on trial through the nails in his hands and feet and the piercing in his side.
Anytime you need to become more vulnerable to achieve success, it becomes more difficult. The road is where turmoil arises. Once you reach a stable and secure place, you find resoluteness and confidence—yet, while in transition, all hell breaks loose.
Vulnerability in Transition
Inner pain and insecurity surface, forcing you to confront who you present yourself to be while wrestling with your true identity. I realize you may feel unable to say “Amen” to this, as you cannot afford to let anyone know that there is any contradiction between what you have presented and what you are.
I know your marriages may deteriorate because your true self starves while your partner nurtures your façade. Loneliness can exist even in crowded places if those around you don’t truly know who you are.
It needed to be okay for Jesus to feel worried. He couldn’t share these feelings with Matthew, Bartholomew, Judas, or the others, but he needed time to wrestle with his emotions in the Garden of Gethsemane.
The hardest place to flourish is in the environment where you grew up. You don’t need to say anything; the people you grew up with have seen too much. They remember too much, and their memories bind them to your past, making it hard for them to accept who you are now.