TD Jakes - Emotions Pass; Decisions Linger (05/14/2025)
Emotions are a gift from God that make us human, but leaders must master them rather than be led by them, lest mood swings create chaos for everyone around. Drawing from personal experience and biblical examples like Hagar, the preacher warns against emotional decisions that lead to self-sabotage and emphasizes that true breakthrough requires giving yourself permission to feel worthy.
The Gift and Danger of Emotions
I am honored that I am arrayed with a wonderful consortium of emotions. It makes me who I am; it gives me personality. It makes me human. It is a wonderful thing that I can laugh, cry, and possess an array of emotions that God has decorated my soul with.
Feelings are wonderful to have, but until the feelings have you, there is nothing worse than being led by someone who has been controlled by moods. I have to get a grip on my feelings as a leader. I can manage the facts, but I cannot allow my feelings to abort my mission, alter my plan, or change the way I conduct myself, lest I become practically schizophrenic to deal with.
You see, when you are in a position of power, if you are volatile, everybody who enters your atmosphere has to suffer the consequences of your indecisiveness, your aggravations, your mood swings, and your attitudes. Eventually, people wear you out because they are wearing themselves out, and you get caught in their orbit.
Avoiding the Orbit of Drama
Note to self: watch out for dramatic people. When you marry someone with a lot of drama going on, you become caught up in the orbit of their chaos. Whether you want to or not, you become a victim, a captive chained to their drama. You may even feel scared to go into your own house.
I know y’all cannot lie because you are sitting beside somebody. Just keep looking right ahead and wiggle your toes. People who lead from their emotions are volatile and hard to follow. They are hard to follow because you do not know from day to day how they are going to feel.
I really try not to make emotional decisions. I have emotions, but I avoid emotional decisions. I have learned the way, and Beverly knows to wait. Sometimes I get mad, and I will fire off a letter. She will type it up, and then I will call her five hours later and ask if she sent it yet.
She says no; she thought she would give me a day because I can flip out right off the cuff. So, we have a 24-hour moratorium on my letters because if I am hot, I will let you have it. Beverly holds it for 24 hours until I come to my senses because in the heat of my emotions, as my mother would say, I cannot cut off my nose to spite my face.
Did your mama say that too? Everyone’s mama said that. Wave your hand if your mama said it. I thought my mama created that phrase! My mama acted like she invented that saying: “Do not cut off your nose to spite your face.”
Emotions Pass, Decisions Linger
Have you ever cut off your nose to spite your face? Emotions pass, but decisions linger, and often in emotional moments we do things we have to live with later. If I allow my ever-fluctuating feelings to lead my decisions, they will drive me over a cliff.
I would not have made it 25 years at this church or 45 years in ministry or almost 40 years in marriage if I allowed my feelings to control my decisions. I would have wrecked everything, lost everything. In the heat of a feeling, the emotion might be provoked by something that does not even relate to you.
It is not your fault that the toast burned in the toaster, but if you happen to call while it is burning, I might not be ready for you. The cliff I am talking about, going over the edge, is not literally driving your car off a cliff; it is that self-sabotaging behavior.
It is the kind of thing that Hagar did when she got mad and ran out of Sarah’s house. She ended up in the wilderness and almost died. God told her, “I provided for you in that house; go back to Sarah’s house.” That is right!
Hagar did not have any reason to be mad; she was the one who initiated the conflict. Read the story—she picked the fight and then got mad and left. But it is hard to see ourselves, am I right about it?
Right now, we are shooting a film in Canada, the “Seven Deadly Sins.” We are working on the last five installments of the anthology in Canada—a shameless plug. It is easy to make the kinds of decisions and the kinds of moves that debilitate people.
The reason I love to do films is that when you see them on TV, it is easy to identify what is wrong with other people because you cannot see it in yourself.
The Power of Feeling Worthy
If I do not feel worthy, neither moral support nor mighty sermons will enable me to get up until I permit myself to move forward. Wait a minute—if I do not feel worthy for whatever reason, it does not matter what somebody preaches. It does not matter who supports me.
Have you ever tried to support someone who has made up their mind not to get up? It is frustrating, is it not? It drives you crazy because you say all the right things: “I know you can do this! You have the power to do this! You are created to do this! You are so gifted! You are so smart! You are so bright!”
All the while you are trying to fill them up, but it leaks out the bottom of them. It is impossible to support someone who has decided, “I am not worthy.” There is no sign on their head that says, “I am not worthy.” There is no warning; it is just there.
They may not even know that they are self-sabotaging themselves. They will shout over things they will never possess because they have never given themselves permission to feel worthy of being where they are.