TD Jakes - How to Live Beyond Yourself
We are living in such a «me» society—it’s me, it’s all about me, selfies, thousands of pictures of me. Everything is about me: my feelings, my needs, what I want, what I feel. You didn’t treat me right. Every, every, everything is about me. And when two «me’s» get married, you get a mess—a real mess—because she’s talking about herself, he’s talking about himself, and the «me» syndrome goes on and on. People never evolve into becoming who they should be because they never get beyond living for themselves.
If you hire someone like that, they can’t get along with anybody. The moment they get their feelings hurt, they lose their mission, their assignment, and their calling because their feelings got hurt. They sit around, pout, and become obnoxious because their feelings got hurt. You know why? Because we’re in a narcissistic society where everything is about them. It’s about me. I can’t be loyal because it’s about me. I can’t be dependable because it’s about me. I can’t sacrifice because it’s about me. I’ve got a voice, but I won’t sing because I don’t feel like coming out on Thursday night because it’s about me. I’ve got a message, but I won’t give it because I don’t like being in front of people. It’s about me. Everything is about me. I will go after this other job. I’m going to stay in this job because it’s about me. I’ve got kids, but I don’t want to be bothered with them because they get on my nerves. It’s about me.
Come on, talk to me, somebody. I have never seen anything like this—people who have kids and don’t want to be bothered with them. Now, there might be times they get on your nerves, but you still have to hang in there because you must understand that in order to be a mother, it’s a sacrifice. Quit looking at some cute guy and saying, «I want you to be my baby daddy.» No, no, no, no. When he’s finished being cute, you still have that kid; you need to want the kid, not just the dad. You have to want the kid because that’s a lifelong commitment. If you’re a man, quit looking at a gorgeous woman and thinking, «I want you to have my baby.» After she has the baby, you need to take care of that baby. You need to get a job, make some payments, and bring food into this house. We have to get rid of this «me» syndrome that’s killing us; it is destroying us—it is destroying our ministry.
People who are preaching today are not preaching for the crowd or the benefit of the people—they are preaching for themselves: «What’s in it for me?» You cannot serve God and be a Christian—not a real Christian—while being stuck on yourself and refusing to evolve to the degree that you understand this is about sacrifice, service, and giving yourself away. This is about pouring out your energy, going where you’ve never gone before, and living for a purpose. I want to live bigger than me. I want to live big! I want to live big! Type that in the timeline: «I want to live big!»
I’m done living small. I’m not going to let the devil talk me into living small. I’m going to live big! I’m going to live big because I’m surrounded by so many people who are dying, and the more people die, the more it motivates me to live big. I don’t want to waste a week. I don’t want to waste a day. I don’t want to waste an hour. I don’t want to waste a second. I want to live big! That’s why I’m not going to let you get on my nerves because I want to live big. That’s why I’m not going to let you frustrate me because I want to live big. That’s why I don’t care what you think about me because I want to live big! I want to live big! I want to live so big that I live for something bigger than myself.
In our text today, we have Nehemiah. He is neither a prophet, nor priest, nor king; he’s just someone working a job. The book of Nehemiah begins in such a way that it introduces his character to us, leaping at us almost without warning from his position of working a 9 to 5. He has a grind; he has a job; he’s doing his own thing—it’s cool. He’s set up, working in a nice place, and he’s got everything together. Let me explain how Nehemiah comes to have his job: he was undoubtedly born during the time that Israel was in captivity under Babylonian rule. The Babylonians had taken Jerusalem and destroyed it. You’ve heard me preach before about how they left and changed, and «if I forget Jerusalem, let my tongue cleave to the roof of my mouth.»
They did go through those sacrifices; Babylon ripped them away from their home. But guess what? You reap what you sow. The same Babylon that tore things up was eventually overcome by the Persian army. Now the Babylonians are out of power, and the children of Israel have been released to go back home, although some of them have stayed. Nehemiah is one of those who has remained. He now works for King Artaxerxes. King Artaxerxes is a Persian king, a new ruler, who has Nehemiah as his cupbearer. This does not make Nehemiah a waiter or busboy; he’s not just someone running to and fro. It means that every time the king drinks wine, Nehemiah tastes it first to make sure it is safe.
So, Nehemiah is used to danger—not that I’m saying he was a wino or a drunk; I’m assuming that you understand one of the proclivities of the Persian government was to kill or attempt a coup against the king by poisoning him. To circumvent the possibility of the king being poisoned, it was Nehemiah’s job to take the first sip. I want you to understand the mentality of the guy who came from a dangerous position because your destiny is always hidden in your history. If you look back in your life, you will see certain things that prepared you for where you are right now. There are even things that seem unrelated to your current situation but have served you well now that you are where you are.
Nehemiah is now in a situation where he faces death every day; every morning, he goes to work knowing it could be his last. He has begun to develop the roots of living beyond himself. I wouldn’t want Nehemiah’s job. I might hand it off to a cat, and if the cat doesn’t make it, I would say, «King, don’t drink this wine; it’s not good.»
I would not want Nehemiah’s job because if he went to work one morning and someone were poisoning the king, saving the king would cost him his life. This is a seed of unselfishness planted in him from the earliest part of his existence. Parents, hear me well: if you don’t plant quality, don’t expect to reap quality in adults. If you don’t plant the seeds of unselfishness, courage, or teach them that everything is not about them—what they want or their preference regarding where to eat—you’re laying the groundwork for a certain type of person who doesn’t think the whole world revolves around their wishes. The reason we have so many divorces today is that many people think the world revolves around their wishes, and if they don’t find someone who caters to them, they’re ready to exit because they aren’t willing to live beyond themselves.
Come on, talk to me, somebody! Type in the comments, «I want to live bigger than me!» I didn’t come here just to live and die paying the mortgage on a house I’ll leave. I didn’t come here just to pay rent for someone else’s property, make my payments, and maintain good credit, only to live here and die. Is that all you’re going to do—live for clothes in your closet and shoes with red bottoms? You could just paint red on the bottom of your shoes! You’re living your whole life for things you’re going to leave behind.
What are you doing that is beyond you? Take a moment and think about it. I don’t want to bring your joy down or make you feel bad, but what would people lose if they lost you? How are you affecting someone’s life beyond yourself and yours? When God gives you gifts, do you think He gave them to you for your benefit? If God gave you a voice to sing, do you think He gave you that voice just for you to sing in the shower? Whatever God gave you, He gave it to you to positively affect someone beyond yourself. You have to realize this.