TD Jakes - How to Become a Great Leader
We are eavesdropping on a personal conversation between the mentor and the mentee regarding quite a relationship—it’s almost like a father and son. It’s a very intimate relationship; you can’t mentor anyone without becoming involved with them, loving them, caring for them, being concerned for them, and wanting what’s best for them. Similarly, you can’t be mentored by someone whom you don’t respect or believe lives the life you aspire to and hope to accomplish. They surround you, insulate you, inform you, and inspire you. That’s what a mentor should do: inform, insulate, and inspire you.
To inform you means to provide knowledge. To insulate you means there is a layer of protection whenever you’re not in charge or submitted under someone. Many perceive this as a negative; however, it’s a great thing because you’re protected by that person. The buck stops with them, not with you. You can make mistakes, and they can correct them; that’s part of the process. Once they leave, the insulation is gone, and all the heat and coal they kept from reaching you now come directly to you.
Thus, a mentor should inform you, insulate you, and then inspire you. You can’t be mentored by someone who doesn’t inspire you. You need someone who inspires you. The word «inspire» comes from «spire,» which means to point upward, reminiscent of chapels with spires that peak toward heaven. To inspire is to have something inside that looks up. When I hear you preach, teach, minister, or train, you cause my insights to look upward—that’s inspiration. You don’t want to be mentored by someone lacking the ability to inspire you or help you look up to reach the next level.
It’s crucial to obtain their information, insulation, and inspiration; these are three key elements. You need to understand that Paul was to Timothy what insulation is during a complaint or crisis. Whenever someone needed to be imprisoned, it was not Timothy, but Paul who insulated him from that attack. Don’t always rush to be in power; it’s not as good as it seems when you are the one with the ultimate authority. Instead of someone else being hunted down, they will come after you. They apprehended Jesus, not Thomas, Bartholomew, James, or John. They came for Jesus, crucified the Lord, and beat Him all night long. When you are at the top, you absorb the blows and strikes; many of you feel nothing because you’ve been insulated.
When the Bible speaks about a man covering his wife, it means that a good husband insulates her. Truth be told, a good wife also insulates. Good parents insulate their children, and good pastors insulate their churches. Good presidents insulate their countries. Insulation results from great covering, and it’s an important consideration.
Mentors should inform you; they have a responsibility to communicate knowledge that you don’t yet possess. To attend their speaking engagements should not feel like a duty, but rather hunger for knowledge. You go there to be fed; whoever feeds leads. For them to inform you is powerful. This insulation creates a comfortable environment for making mistakes, for growth and development. Once that insulation is removed, you become exposed to the cruelty of people, their comments, mandates, and, worst of all, the expectations placed upon you.
So, Paul provided insulation for Timothy. He offered him information and inspiration. However, he writes a different kind of letter; this is not merely a classroom discussion or a school exercise. This message transcends simply making a fool-proof ministry; it is a charge. It resembles a commencement exercise, a graduation, a promotion. He imparts three significant elements, and I want to discuss them due to their importance.
First, he gives him a charge: «I charge thee before God.» Let’s look at that in the text: «I charge thee, therefore, before God and the Lord Jesus Christ, who shall judge the quick and the dead at His appearing: preach the word; be instant in season and out of season; reprove, rebuke, exhort with all longsuffering and doctrine.» With a great ministry, your ministry should vary; you shouldn’t always preach hellfire and brimstone, nor should you always preach comfort and soft messages. You have the responsibility to encompass all aspects: reprove, rebuke, and exhort with all longsuffering and doctrine.
«I want you to preach the word in season; I want you to preach it out of season. Preach it when it’s fashionable to be Christian, and preach it when it’s not.» The time will come—the time will come when people will not endure sound doctrine, and they will heap to themselves teachers with itching ears. This observation resonates with our current day; people seek teachers who tell them what they want to hear, not the truth.
It is a struggle for me to provide counseling, particularly marital counseling, because by the time people come to you, they are already entrenched in their perspectives. They only seek reinforcement for their positions, whether it’s to their husband or wife. They’re not necessarily willing to be informed, insulated, or inspired; they want you to endorse their perspective. My thought often is that they should leave me alone, as they’ve already made up their minds before seeking my help.
The relationship between Paul and Timothy is fascinating. Timothy has a generational relationship with God, passed down from his grandmother and mother, Eunice and Lois. He is the third generation, steeped in faith, yet he still needs mentorship. Growing up in the church doesn’t negate the need for mentorship in various life aspects—spiritually, economically, and even as a husband. Just because you know Jesus does not automatically mean you know how to be a great husband or manage your finances effectively.
It’s imperative to separate faith from areas where it is not applicable. Being a believer does not excuse you from requiring mentorship to grow in those areas. A strong bond develops between mentee and mentor; it is a significant connection—a relationship like Elijah and Elisha, Ruth and Naomi, John and Jesus, Paul and Timothy. There’s an emotional and spiritual connection, which you can’t achieve without being fed by the mentor’s experience. They guide you away from pitfalls, mistakes, and failures. Gratefulness, appreciation, and honor are essential; you don’t choose a mentor based merely on their degrees or the prominence of their church. Instead, their ability to truly inform, insulate, and inspire you becomes the criteria for effective leadership.