TD Jakes - Identifying the Love of God
I want to take a moment to set the text in context. My understanding is that we have just read from the Gospel of Saint John. The Gospel of Saint John is not one of the synoptic gospels like Matthew, Mark, and Luke; it stands in a category all by itself. It is uniquely structured and formulated and offers a different perspective. For us, it reads almost like a series of short stories unfolding one after another without the concern of continuity from day to day. It moves us along in a methodical manner toward a conclusion that exemplifies Christ with a unique perspective and clarity that differs from any of the other writers. It stands apart largely because John himself is quite different.
He introduces the book not from the viewpoint of proving the authenticity of Jesus as the Messiah through lineage, as Matthew, Mark, and Luke would do, but he traces it back to the beginning and says, «In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. All things were made by Him, and without Him was not anything made that was made.» He goes right back to the spirit of who Jesus is, not just to the flesh of who Jesus is. He refers back to the Ruach, the breath, to God Himself, the Creator of the universe. In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. All things were made by Him. He shows us the deity of Jesus Christ, and «the Word was made flesh» (John 1:14) and dwelt among us; we beheld the wonder, the wonder of His glory, the only begotten of the Father, full of grace and truth. This is John. This is John.
In the process of delivering this liturgy, as it were, in the process of establishing this document of authenticity, this divine deed of trust, he unveils the substantial origin of who Jesus is from a heavenly perspective. In the midst of it, he mentions his own journey. When John mentions John the Baptist, you have John talking about John, and I want to start with John talking about John. He mentions John the Baptist, but he is not John the Baptist. This is John the Evangelist, or Saint John. This is John the Apostle; he is one of the twelve, not John the Baptist. This is John, who laid his head on Jesus' breast, who sat with Jesus.
This is John, one of the inner circle with Jesus, the one who was in the Garden of Gethsemane with Him, the one who was at the table at the Last Supper with Jesus, described in this book alone as «the one whom Jesus loved.» Neither Matthew, Mark, nor Luke described him in that way, but John describes himself as «the one whom Jesus loves.» It seems odd to me that he states it this way; he doesn’t say «the one who loves Jesus.» He says, «I am the one whom Jesus loves,» as if he knows he has favor on his life. Perhaps that favor is exemplified in the fact that he has always been in the inner circle. He’s always been in the right place, always been in the great crowd, always there on the Mount of Transfiguration.
He has always been there in moments of power, in the inner circle with Jesus Christ. At the Last Supper, with his head upon Jesus' breast, after the resurrection, that is John who identifies Jesus on the shore. He knows Jesus; he knows Jesus in a way that none of the other disciples seem to declare or comprehend to the degree that John knows Him. He is the one whom Jesus loves. We know that there must be some validity in how he describes himself because Jesus rebuked the other disciples, saying, «If I leave him here until I come, what is that to you?»
Jesus defended him. We know he had favor upon his life because John outlived all the rest of the apostles. We know he had an anointing on his life because he is credited with writing at least two books: the one we are reading from and the Book of Revelation. We know he had the favor of God on his life because Jesus came back and unveiled the Apocalypse called the Book of Revelation to him, and he penned it. He has an inside track on who Jesus is, on what Jesus wants, on how Jesus moves and loves. It must be an amazing thing to describe yourself as the one whom Jesus loves.
Can you imagine? «Hello, I’m Bishop Jakes. I’m the one whom Jesus loves.» And who are you? «Hello, everybody, I’m the one whom Jesus loves.» That’s how I identify myself, how I understand myself. That’s how I perceive my relationship with Him: I am a recipient of His love. It’s not about me loving Him — because that can be fleeting, sometimes inconsistent — but I am a recipient of a constant beam of light and love that shines down on me, even in the darkest hour of the night. You may not see it, but it still glares upon me because the love of God is consistent. It is not spasmodic or erratic; it is not temporal or sometimes. It is constant: I am always the one whom Jesus loves.
He outlived everyone; this last testimony of Jesus Christ upon the Earth is given by the pen of John the Apostle, one of the twelve. He writes to us in a powerful and profound way, allowing us to hear insights about Jesus that we would not otherwise receive. He repeatedly declares the «I ams,» stating, «I am.» The Gospel of Saint John presents an amazing Christology; it depicts Jesus as divine, pre-existent, and identifies Him with the one God, affirming that there is no other. He is in a category all by Himself. He tells us, over and over, «I am, I am, I am, I am.» It reminds me of what God told Moses: «I am that I am.» John knows Him as the «I am» that Moses encountered in the burning bush. He describes Him as: «I am the bread of life, I am the light of the world, I am the gate of the sheep.» He depicts Him, saying, «I am the good shepherd, I am the resurrection and the life, I am the way, the truth, and the life, I am the true vine.»
He clearly understands, in seven powerful ways, the «I am"-ness of God. That is who is writing to us today, who is speaking to us today, who is ministering to us today: the one whom Jesus loves. Good God Almighty! If you don’t love anybody else, He loves me. I am the one whom Jesus loves. The confidence he has reminds me of a well-loved child. You know, when a child is well-loved and knows they are well-loved, there is a confidence that allows them to enter a room and fill it with their presence. They are sure of themselves. When you are unsure of yourself, you constantly measure yourself by other people’s standards. When you lack self-assurance, you doubt your accomplishments. It’s not your fault; we live in a world that repeatedly teaches us to compare ourselves to others: the first runner-up in the beauty pageant, the second runner-up in the beauty pageant. We’ve watched it our whole lives; the Olympic award winner is, and the nominee is… Over and over again, we are taught to be competitive, living in a competitive environment.
Am I the GOAT, the greatest of all time? That thought separates me from others. Everybody fights to be better; we are constantly measured, timed, and compared, trying to understand ourselves by ourselves. This practice is unwise; it’s a terrible thing to compare yourself with others. It leads to frustration and inner turmoil, feelings of unworthiness. When you finally feel worthy, it lasts only a short while because someone will come along with attributes you lack. I want to speak to someone today who has constantly been miserable, insecure, and uncertain about who you are.
You don’t know your place; you don’t know your status; you don’t know your role. You find yourself shifting and wavering, always uncertain, often envious, often jealous, often unsure because you don’t know who you are. You can’t be happy within yourself until you know your role. If you don’t know your role, you’re only good until someone better comes along. When someone better does appear, you feel intimidated. Intimidation leads to frustration and aggravation in your environment because you don’t know where you belong, who you are, or where you stand.
You must know: «I am the one whom Jesus loves.» You may not realize it, but it can be difficult for you to understand your worth, leaving you miserable and yet successful—successful yet miserable. Every time you accomplish something, you see someone who has something else and think, «If I could only have that, if I could only have this.» When will they recognize me? You’re frustrated inside because you don’t know your role. John knew who he was: «I am the one whom Jesus loves.» Don’t focus on the other twelve; I am the one whom Jesus loves.
Yes, there are three others in the inner circle, but I am the one whom Jesus loves. Peter, James, and John showed up everywhere, but John clearly knew who he was. He knew his role: «I am the one whom Jesus loves.» You don’t see him comparing himself with Peter: «Why am I not preaching on the day of Pentecost? Why am I not accomplishing this or that? Why am I not walking on water?» No, he knows who he is. He is relaxed on the boat while Peter walks on water, trying to prove something. John is calm on the boat because he knows that soon Jesus is going to come to him. Why? Because I am the one whom Jesus loves.
I don’t have to perform for anyone, nor do I need to impress anyone or be spectacular. I know my role. When you know your role, you’re not afraid to be around great people because you’re not tormented by their greatness. I want to talk to someone this morning who is constantly agitated by the greatness of others, feeling frustrated and measuring yourself against them—wondering, «Am I enough? Do I have what you have?» Your accomplishments may not resemble theirs. They may have more on their plate than you. They hit a note you can’t reach; they get called on more than you. Stop! You can never be proficient in the Kingdom of God until you know your role.
The role God has given you corresponds to the gifts He has placed inside of you. You don’t want to be like an Eddie Murphy movie, playing four roles. You don’t want to be like one of the Tyler Perry movies, appearing in every role. You want to be confident in knowing who you are and where you stand. Part of this confidence comes from knowing that John starts by discussing who God is, and sometimes knowing who God is helps you understand who you are. Since God is the scriptwriter who gave you your lines, all you need to do is know your role.
In the beginning was the Word. In the beginning was the script. In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. All things were made by Him. Everything aligned as He planned it to be directed. He equipped me with everything I needed to be who I am and nothing that I needed to be who you are. I am fully equipped and totally prepared to fulfill the function for which I was created, and I cannot compare myself to Peter, James, Bartholomew, or anyone else. I am in a class all by myself. I am who the «I Am» loves. If you could bring yourself to think like that, the torment would be over.