TD Jakes - How Much Does it Cost for You to Believe?
Thomas was not in the room, so when our text begins to recount the conversation between Jesus and Thomas, it’s because Thomas has decided to climb up the stairs, go into the building, and sit down. He was there, but he wasn’t really with them; he was there, listening to them telling stories that Jesus had been by just a little bit ago. «Jesus came by?» «Oh, get out of here! Jesus is dead!» «No, Jesus is dead! We took his rigor mortis-ridden body down off the cross. We saw his congealed blood.
The blood and water came out of his side when the Roman soldiers pierced him,» which means that the blood had begun to coagulate and separate itself in such a manner that you could identify the clear from the blood. He was dead! We wrapped him in strips and shoved him into Joseph of Arimathea’s grave. He was dead! They rolled a stone in front of him; he was gone. I know he was gone; he was stiff! I know he was gone; he was cold! Now you’re going to tell me that he was up here? I won’t believe it unless I stretch my hands into his side and feel the nail prints in his hands. If he shows up, I won’t believe it until I see his wounds.
As soon as he opened his big mouth to say how much it would cost for him to believe, Jesus showed up again. This is the moment in the text where I almost fall apart because I can understand why Jesus would come by for the ten, but to turn around and come back for the one—for one guy who doesn’t even believe in you, who doubts you, who has allowed the skepticism of the world to invade his thinking to the point that he’s not even sure he’s one of your disciples—and yet you come back for one.
I have to praise him because I have been that one! I have been the one that, when everybody threw up their hands and thought I wasn’t worth it, I know what it is to be the one that he came by and showed up for. It was not because my faith was strong, it was not because my life was good, it was not because I was so moral, and it was not because I was so holy, but it was because he is so merciful, and his mercies are new every morning!
His grace so abounds that every now and then, Jesus will show up for just one person. If everybody clicked off the air right now, and there was only one person—just me and you—he would show up; he would stop just for you, because you are important to him. Even in your doubts, even in your fear, even in your unbelief, even in your uncertainty, even in your ambiguity, and even in the fact that you go back and forth and up and down, and even in your indecisiveness and confusion, you are so important to him that he will show up for one. A table for one? He will come to a table for one.
Jesus appeared in the room almost as if he was making an encore for one person—one person, one, one, one, one. One person who didn’t even believe! I understand why he was shown up for one believer, but he came for one guy who didn’t even believe. But then again, maybe Thomas was not an unbeliever, because even in spite of his struggles, he still came to the room. It sounds more like he was struggling in his faith than that he had lost it; he was saying one thing with his mouth, but his actions were saying something else. Because he came to church, he was murmuring, but he came to church. He was talking about the pastor when he came to church, he was down on the brotherhood, but he came to church! As a matter of fact, he climbed those steps and came into that room and argued as a sign that he wasn’t sure.
I don’t know who I’m after, but I’m after somebody. You’ve been kicking up a fuss, making a lot of noise, but down on the inside, God has a hook in your mouth, and he’s drawing you toward him. You’re flipping and flopping like every fish does when you have a hook in your mouth, and God is pulling in the line because you are important to him. Jesus came to pay Thomas a visit, and then he gave him the opportunity that would change the trajectory of his life. It is an opportunity that few leaders have the grace to be able to give because most leaders will show you their crowns.
Then there are leaders that will show you their successes, and there are leaders that will show you their degrees. There are other leaders that will show you their trophies, and some will show you their Grammys, and some will show you their medals, and some will show you their images. But there are few leaders that will show you their wounds!
Jesus said, «If I have to strip for you, if I have to take off all of my stuff and show you what they did to me, I will not leave this room and leave you wondering if I am authentically me. Because to be authentic is more important than to be beautiful. When you walk with me, my skin was unflawed, when you walk with me, my face was not marred; he said, but I want to show you that in order to be authentic, you have to have some flaws and some wounds. You can’t just walk with me in my beauty; you have to walk with me in my wounds.
If I have to strip to lead you, I want you to know they got me right here, and they got me right here! Reach your hand and feel this—come here, come here, come here! Feel that right there! They got me right there, and I let them get me so you could see me get back up again. I went down so you could see me come back up so that no matter what they put on you, you will always know that you have the power within yourself to get back up again. Reach here your hands and feel the nail prints in my hands, and touch me right here and feel where they pierced me in the side. And be faithless? I believe!» Thomas fell down on his knees because he had an encounter with God; he had encountered a God that felt safe enough to show his wounds.