TD Jakes - Hide Go Seek
It brings out all kinds of emotion, because Adam said, "I was afraid. I was naked. I hated myself". I want to talk about men that hide. I hid myself. I showed you who you wanted to see. Ooh, it's gonna get quiet in here. I showed you what I thought you could handle, but I hid myself. I hid myself is one issue. I hid myself. I was never really there. There's not a man... I'm going to make a bold statement. There's not a man in this room that has not hid himself in some way. The funny thing about men, and I've been counseling, I've been working with a lot of men who are going through a lot of things right now.
One of the most amazing thing is that Adam took these fig leaves, and he hid his loins. He hid the most productive part of himself, and I have found the funny thing about men is the parts we hide are the parts that would make a difference in the family, that we hide the most productive part of ourselves and hide behind what we think is masculinity. Sometime we need to cry. Sometimes we need to struggle. Sometimes we need to let people know that it's not easy to be us. Sometimes we don't get the respect that we need or the accolades that we need or the support that we need because we hide that we need it. And the woman you married may not have been raised around a man, so she doesn't know how to read a man, and the man she got she cannot see because he hid himself. If we would stop hiding for a moment in this room, you would be shocked at who we are.
So, God says, "Adam, where are you"? Does that mean that God couldn't see him? Of course not. It might mean that God couldn't recognize him in all of the stuff he was hiding behind. I don't recognize who you have become. I don't recognize who you pretend to be. I don't recognize this person that you're acting like you are. I don't recognize you. Where are you? When I left you, you were naked. When I came back, you were some strange creature with leaves on, walkin' around, playing the role, 'cause you're scared that if anybody saw you, they wouldn't love you. Anybody got the courage to say amen? That's why we hide. We hide because we think if you saw us, maybe you wouldn't love us, so we hide ourselves, and we make stuff up to cover us up. We'd make up stuff we gotta do and places we've got to go and things that gotta happen to hide ourselves.
We get positions and jobs and money and status or muscles or triceps or girlfriends to hide ourselves, and she thinks you're with her 'cause she's sexy. It ain't because she's sexy. It's because she covers you. She covers your vulnerability. She covers what you're afraid of about yourself. She covers what happened to you. She covers the part of you that don't feel so strong and she tells you what you wanna hear, and she is your fig leaves. "I heard thy voice. I was naked. I was afraid". What are you afraid of, Adam? You've been naked the whole show. Adam has been naked the whole time. He's never had a suit on in his life, but he didn't know he was naked. "Who told you you was naked", when he found out that you could see him, he hid himself. One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, ready or not. God is saying, "Ready or not, here I come".
You know why we can't really worship good? 'Cause we hide ourselves. So, it's difficult for many men to really get lost in worship. Oh, we can act like we're at a football game and get the rah, rah going, but if we get into deep worship with tears and praise and your heart is open and you gotta be naked before him? Leave us out 'cause we can rah, rah, yo, yo, like we are in a football game. We up for that, but if we have to be naked emotionally and vulnerable and exposed, oh no, that's for the women. So, our idea of a great praise service is noise. I heard that voice. I was naked. I was afraid. I hid myself. We can live and die and never be known. You can grieve over the death of a father you've never really met. You met who he showed you. You met who he showed you. You met who he showed you, because most of the men in this room don't even feel like anybody even knows who they really are. Adam, where art thou?
I want the naked you, the nervous you, the worried you, the crying you, the confused and broken you, the upset you, the you that can't sleep at night, the you that's walking the floor, the you that is with sin, the you that contemplates suicide. Adam, Adam, stop faking for the people, Adam! I am looking for you. Don't you know? Don't you know? That I love you, not who you pretend to be. Adam, I don't recognize this church boy game you playing. I didn't die for this church boy you playing. While you were yet sinners, Christ commended his love toward us, and then he died for us while we were naked.
He died for the person you are hiding. He shed his blood for the guy you're tryin' to convince them that you're not, and you're up at 2 o'clock in the morning venting who you really are because daylight can't catch you. And if God is looking for you, and your sons and your daughters are lookin' for you and your wife is lookin' for you, sometimes even you, you're fooling with them, but you lookin' for, you fooling with her, but you're looking for, you're messing with him, but you're looking for, oh, they quiet. Just like you said they was gonna be. He thinks you're lookin' for him. No, you're lookin' for you. She thinks it's about her. No, you're lookin' for you. You know why you're lookin' for you? 'Cause your daddy was looking for him too.
This is a man thing. It's a man thing. One man, the father of all men, and everything came into the family through him. It's a man thing, and it comes up in his boys, Cain and Abel. Because the father has bit on sour grapes, the teeth of the children are set on edge, and what you mad at him about you caused. It's a man thing. One man in the sight of God. There are only two men in the sight of God. I swear to you it's only two men: the first man Adam and the last man Adam. And either you're born in the first one, or you're born in the last one, but there are only two men, and both of them got this thing goin' on with the tree. The first man Adam died because he ate from the tree. The last man Adam lives because he was hung on a tree.
Why do you think Jesus died on a tree? When they beat him bad enough, he should've died on the whipping post, but had he died on the whipping post, he wouldn't have broke the curse that was on the first man Adam because it was not about a whipping post. It was always about a tree. So, Jesus had to die on a tree. Adam, where art thou? I can fix this. I can fix this. You don't have to take matters into your own hands. You don't have to fix yourself. You don't have to father yourself. You don't have to mentor yourself. Come out of hiding, Adam! Adam, before you destroy yourself, come out, come out, wherever you are, whatever you're into, whatever you did, whoever you are!
Adam, if you come out of hiding, I can fix it. Adam, Adam, you don't have to be this unhappy. Adam, you don't have to be this miserable. Adam, you don't have to make your own clothes. Adam, I will cover you. Adam, I will heal you. Adam, I will bless you. Adam, I will save you. Adam, I will raise you up. Adam, I've already seen you. I've already seen you, Adam. I love you with an everlasting love. You can't fool me with your fig leaves, Adam. Adam, whatever you're making to cover yourself is dying while you're stitching it, and that's why the relationships keep falling apart, 'cause they fig leaves, and fig leaves always die when you pull them away from the roots.
And if I could ask God for anything this morning, I would ask God to give the men in this room the courage, just the courage, just the courage, just the courage to come naked. I'm kinda crazy, but here I come. I'm kinda wacko, but here I come. I'm kinda depressed, but here I come. I'm kinda scared, but here I come. I'm getting older. I don't know what to do with it I don't know how to handle it. I define myself by stuff that's changing in me, and I'm scared to death and I can't talk to anybody, but here I come. I'm young and I thought I'd be further than I am right now, and I can't get a job and I can't get up on my feet, but here I come. I'm afraid I got too much of my mama in me. I give up too easy. I run too fast, but here I come. I'm coming to you.
You see, the problem with Adam is that God was raising Adam because Adam never had a childhood. He never got to be a little boy. He got thrust into a position of authority so fast that he never got to have a childhood. And so, God is using this story not to raise a little boy. He's tryin' to raise a man who's got a little boy down on the inside. Oh!
And God says, "I know you didn't get everything you were supposed to get, but I still love you, and if you come out, I'll fix you. I care about you. I know you saw too much too soon. I know you went through too much too fast. I know you were exposed to stuff you shouldn't have been exposed to, and I know you're a grown man and you never got to be a little boy, but I swear I'm looking for you. I want you, I want you, I want you. I don't know if Eve wants you, but I want you. I can't promise you Cain and Abel, but I want you. I want you. I want you 'cause you didn't get all those eight steps. You didn't get all that stuff, and now you're trying to be what you didn't see, and you're playing a role that you have no script for and you don't know how to really be a father 'cause you never really had one".
Come out, come out, wherever you are, come out not reading well. Come out and didn't do well in school. Come out, come out, wherever you are. Come out! Come out wherever you are. Leave him alone. Leave him alone. Come out. Come out, man. Come out, dude. Come out. Come out, man. I know what it feels like to be you. I know what it feels like to be you. Come out, Adam! Adam up there in the balcony hiding. You gonna hide in the balcony, you gonna use where you sit to hide, Adam! Adam, with your Brioni suit on. Adam, I don't care nothin' about your suit. Come out! You in the gym every day. I see your triceps and your biceps. I don't care. Come out! Come out. Come out. And so, just us fellas, just us guys, we know the real deal. We know the real deal. I'm not preaching it because I'm better than you. I'm preaching it because I'm one of you. Yeah, yeah, I'm one of you. Come on in. Come here. Come here. Give it to me. Give it to me.