Taffi Dollar - Crazy Expectations
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I’m going to jump into some things that I believe the Lord has placed on my heart to share with you today, and we’re going to continue on some things that we started, really dealing with some inner areas of our lives and things that perhaps we can often overlook, but it has the potential to affect areas of our life, the harvest, and the things that we’re standing on, and the promises that we’re believing God for. And so we talked about, a few days ago, or Sunday before last, about this era of being crazy busy, and we talked about crazy demands.
And so, today, we wanna talk about crazy expectations, and to look at this area of our life, because so many times, the things that spoil the vine are the little things, it’s the little things that keep our harvest. And so we wanna shine the light on this area because I understand that we’re all in the position to experience God’s promises. We’re all positioning ourselves to avail to the things that God has promised to us. And we realize that there’s not a whole lot of time left, we know that Jesus is coming sooner than we think, and so this thing is the church’s opportunity to be its finest hour, to shine brighter than ever before for the glory of the Lord, to be everything that God destined for it to be.
And so we wanna look at this area of our life because demands, expectations, the busyness of our heart, the busyness of our life, in many instances has the opportunity, as I said earlier, to rob us. And so, in preparation for what we wanna look at today, we wanna look at some things concerning this. Turn with me to your Bibles in Galatians chapter 2, verse 19. And I want us to understand some things about expectations because they have the opportunity in many instances to affect what we do, the expectations that we place not just on other people, but it’s the expectations that we place on ourselves. Sometimes it’s the unspoken, the unmet expectations that we take into areas of our life.
When we become born again and we receive Jesus as our Lord and as our personal Savior, it’s easy to think that there are things that we must do and place on ourselves, and be, and become active about, as it relates to God’s expectations for us. And so religion has played a part of that, our upbringing has played a part with that. It is what we receive and what we can easily internalize from external environment that has a part to play in that. And so these are things that we really wanna get over into, the rules, the rule-keeping, because if it were not for God’s grace, how many of you know we’d be so caught up in trying to remember and memorize and internalize all the rules?
And so I’m so thankful for this opportunity that we can spend today over grace and understanding, that we have this rest that God wants us to enter in, to cease from striving, and to understand that God loves us and he is already impressed with us, and it is God’s opinion that matters in our life, he has the final say-so in our life. And so, when we look at this area of Galatians 2, I think we wanna look at The Message Translation of this just so we can kind of establish some things as it relates to this area of rule-keeping. Somebody say, «Rule-keeping». And so, he says here, in verse 19, «What actually took place is this: I tried keeping rules and working my head off to please God, and it didn’t work». He says, «I tried keeping the rules».
I don’t know about you, I tried. When I married my husband, I knew he was called to ministry and I tried to understand, «Okay, what are the rules? I hadn’t grown up in church, so I just need to understand what, what is this, and how are the rules going to pan out, and what are the expectations for me as your wife? I don’t sit on the front row, I don’t wear hats, I don’t play the piano, I don’t go and do all these churchy things». So I tried to understand what the rules are. So, he says, «What actually took place is this: I tried keeping the rules, working my head off to please God, and it didn’t work».
Keeping the rules doesn’t produce the satisfaction, and he says, «It didn’t work. So I quit being a 'law man, '» or law woman, «So that I could be God’s man,» or God’s woman. «Christ’s life showed me how, and enabled me to do it. I identified myself with him,» he says. «Indeed, I have been crucified with Christ. My ego is no longer central». So I hope you checked your ego at the door when you got out of your car, because you know what? It’s no longer central here, amen? But the busyness of our heart, the busyness of our lives can in many instances be a reflection of our ego, taking pride in the activity of our lives to do what we think is going to please God, all the acrobats, all the activities, all the different things.
You gotta understand, when I came into understanding, I would always think, «Okay, how much time have I spent in prayer? How many people have I won to the Lord? When was the last time I fasted, when was the last time»? And so, I put these expectations, because you know what? That’s what I thought. That’s what I assumed measured the degree of my Christian life and whether I was being a good Christian. And so he says, «My ego is no longer central». And granted, I’m not saying that we should do away with all these things, but there’s a pressure that comes from religion to do these things, and if you don’t do, do, do, do, do, you are not measuring up.
And so there’s this striving that God wants us to avoid, and get into a place of ease. And so he says, «It’s no longer important that I appear righteous before you,» think of that, church, «Or have your good opinion, and I am no longer driven to impress God». How many of you know he is already impressed? If I got up here and started tap dancing, you’d probably be so impressed, «My God,» but God’s not impressed, he doesn’t care. If I did a backwards flip and all these kinds of things, God is like, «Okay, I love you, you do not have to do all these things in order to impress me». But it’s the affirmation, it’s the pride of life, it’s the bondage to people, it’s the need to impress people that we get so caught up in all of these things, and God is saying to us, «That’s not central».
How many of you know, I want the central thing to be the main thing? And what’s not central to God, I don’t want it to be a part of my life. So, he says, «Christ lives in me. The life you see me living is not 'mine, ' but it is lived by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me. I’m not going to go back on that. It is clear to you that to go back to that old rule-keeping, peer-pleasing religion would be an abandonment of everything personal and free in my relationship with God»? He says, «I refuse to do that, to repudiate God’s grace. If a living relationship with God could come by rule-keeping, then Christ died unnecessarily».
You know, when I would go grocery shopping, I don’t do as much grocery shopping as I used to, but I would ask the Lord because I had this rule that I placed on myself that I would soul-win to the person who would help me take my groceries to my car. And I would be thinking, «Okay, how, Lord, am I going to witness to this person in a matter of maybe a minute»? And I made that vow to God, and I would always be cognizant of that, trying to figure out what opportunity. «Are you having a good day»? That would always be a lead-in, right? «How’s your day going»? Sometimes you just have to dive right in, «You know Jesus as your Lord and personal Savior, are you saved»? We’re at the car now. «Okay, Taffi, it’s too late, land the plane».
And I had these rules, and I never was really good about rules in the first place, because I just had to wrap my brain around just rule-keeping in general because I just didn’t understand and didn’t feel the respect, per se, that was associated with so many rules and things that were impressed upon people. So I’ve, to a certain degree, had that kind of free spirit, to a certain degree. But I was amazed, when it came to religion and church, how many rules, how many hoops, how many things in order to measure up, in order to reach the standard into pleasing God and pleasing people, pleasing those.
And so this has been a journey, the things that I’m sharing today, because I think, as a Christian, so many times we can place these on ourselves, these rules, because they provide an objective measure to see how well we’re doing and a mechanism to evaluate how not-so-good others are doing. And as a result, it can cause shame and remind us that we’re not perfect. And if we don’t follow those rules or if we’re corrected, we can easily cause ourselves to get into a place of guilt and condemnation and the things that God wants us to avoid. And so we wanna look at this area of crazy expectations. Somebody say, «Crazy expectations».
And so the expectations are the fact that we must meet a list of shoulds, demands, expectations, that we’ve set for ourselves or that others have set for us. It’s the list, it’s the to-do list in our minds, that we think, in order to please other people, instead of enter into a place where we’re seeking God and we’re asking God for permission. A lot of times we do things, and then we want God to bless it, we get into all kinds of situations and relationships or doing different things, and then we wonder why we’re not seeing God in those relationships, because we’re asking him to bless it.
And so, today, I want us to take a step back and kinda look at our lives, and look at the area of the expectations that perhaps we’re placing on ourselves, and the measure that we’re doing to evaluate, and that mechanism of whether we’re doing good or not doing so good. Because these are things that create an internal, a mental list of all the things that we should and should not do to measure ourselves, how close we’re able to follow these practices and be the best at them, to be the best that we would endeavor to be.
Now, let’s look at some things here. Of course, I am so thankful, I never thought that our ministry would get as large as it has. Creflo never went to Bible school, never went to seminary, so surely, he did not have the rules as a man of God to be successful at this. So when y’all just kept coming and kept coming and kept coming and kept coming, I’m like, «What is going on? Go home». But I’m thinking, wow, it’s something about just getting in a place where we’re allowing God to lead us and we don’t look to manmade methodologies, and that we’re being spiritually led from the inside out and not based on self-effort and putting pressure on ourselves.
Let’s look at this, turn over to 1 Corinthians chapter 7, and then we’re gonna look at chapter 9. I wanna read these kind of quick, try not to cover a lot of Scriptures this morning, but if we do, we do. If we don’t, we don’t, but I think it’ll help to paint the expectations that we must put some thought into as it relates to our personal relationship with God and living a successful life. So, 1 Corinthians, look at chapter 7, verse 32, and then we’re gonna go to chapter 9, verse 19, verse 23. So, 1 Corinthians 7, let’s look at The Message Translation, let’s pull that up if we could. Keep in The Message Translation, please. So, he says, «I want you to live as free of complications as possible».
Isn’t that good? We could just say, «Selah, let’s just go home». «Live free from all complications,» because with church, religion, it could be, not this church, but just religion in general can be very complicated. Now, what do you do, and how you do that, and why you do that, why are we praying to a man to pray to God when I can go to God myself? And so, anyway, «I want you to live as free of complications as possible. When you’re unmarried». He’s talking about those who are single, because there are expectations as it relates to relationships, and so God is talking about this here, the expectations in many instances that go inside or coincide as it relates to committing to the marriage institution. He says, «When you’re unmarried, you’re free to concentrate on simply pleasing the Master». He says, «Marriage involves you in all the nuts and bolts».
Sound like some carpentry, serious work going on, and it’s work, good work. «Nuts and bolts of domestic life and in wanting to please your spouse, leading to so many more demands». Someone say, «Demands». So there are demands, there are expectations, in many instances, that we can put on ourselves, that we can put on our spouse, that we can put on our family members. And he says those things, he says, «The time and the energy that married people spend on caring for and nurturing each other, the unmarried can spend in becoming whole and holy instruments of God. I’m trying to be helpful and make it as easy as possible for you, not make things harder».
So I had all these expectations when I got married, I thought I was gonna have to do all these things, I had tried to carry out what I’d seen in the past concerning my mother and our parents, and other people who were over us spiritually in the Lord. And so it was this area of demands and crazy expectations that are associated with these areas of life. And so he talks about calculating the cost, understanding the unmarried versus the married life and the things that go along with it.
Look over to chapter 9, verse 19, verse 23. These things will demand our attention, parenting demands attention, being a wife, being a mother demands attention. And so you wanna get from the Spirit of God how to go about doing these things and how to operate in the grace for your life, the grace that is available for your family and the things that God is calling you to do. Not to try to duplicate maybe what you saw somebody else do effortlessly, but no, getting before God and say, «God, I can’t do all the stuff, I can’t do what Big Mama used to do, I just need to know what you want me to do, okay? Can’t do what Dr. Betty did. I need to know the assignment for my life», amen?