Steven Furtick - Feeling Torn Between Two Things?
This is an excerpt from: Torn But Trusting.
I don't know who you are, but the Lord showed me you've been torn, and not because you don't love the Lord, and not because you don't believe all things work together. The thing about it is you are between two things, and you don't know which one to let go of, which one to grab hold of. You're torn, so you're stressed, so you can't sleep, and you can't ask people for advice because they oversimplify. They say, "Oh, just trust the Lord". I'm trusting the Lord, but I'm torn. I don't know which one. "Let go and let God". Which one is God? Jacob doesn't know who he's wrestling with. It's happening at night. Why did the angel wrestle with him until the break of day? Why until the dawn? Because the dawn is not exactly night, but it's not exactly morning either, is it? He's not exactly in a nighttime. He's not exactly in a morning time. God blessed him there. He's not home yet. He hasn't made it to Shechem yet. He's not back in his family's covering yet. He's in between in the Transjordan. It's not a holy place. It's not an unholy place. It's somewhere in between.
The Bible says that God blessed him there. He's not in Laban's house anymore. He's not in his father's house either. He's somewhere in between. You haven't graduated from it yet. You haven't quite beat the addiction yet. You haven't quite got it behind you yet. You haven't quite deleted it yet. It hasn't quite left you alone yet. You don't quite have it under control yet. You don't quite have it mastered yet. You don't quite have it down yet, and you are torn. I'm free, but I still like it. I'm beating it, but it's still breathing down my neck. I'm torn! He blessed him there at dawn. It's not day, but it's not night. It's not home, but it's not Haran. It's not where he came from. It's not where he's going. It's in between. Jacob held on. He said, "You're not going anywhere". The angel said, "Oh yeah"? Boop!
Watch. I got this revelation out of this verse. I can't believe I never preached this before. Forgive me for never preaching this before, y'all. This is so tender, so powerful, but it slips right by you. It says that after God blessed him there… Okay. "Clean up your life; I'll bless you. Get your act together; I'll bless you. Figure it all out; I'll bless you. Get smarter; I'll bless you. Read three books; I'll bless you. Memorize a couple of verses; I'll bless you. Get to the place you're going; I'll bless you. Get through the hard time; I'll bless you. Get through 2022; I'll bless you. If you make it to 2023, you shall be… It shall be in 2023". That's a stupid New Year's sermon. I won't preach it. The Bible said he blessed him there. Now watch what I never saw in verse 32. It says, "Therefore to this day the Israelites do not eat the tendon attached to the socket of the hip, because the socket of Jacob's hip was touched near the tendon".
Put your hand on your tendon. I'm not doing this illustration. He used to be a physical therapist. Which tendon did the angel touch? I've been thinking about it all week, y'all. I thought, "Was it the IT band? Was it the gluteus tendon"? I mean, all that tissue it could have been, and the Bible says he touched near the tendon. Do you know what that spoke to me? That sometimes God will touch a place… Anybody can tell you, if the ball came all the way out of the socket of Jacob's hip, he wouldn't have ever walked again. But if the ball came out of the socket of Jacob's hip and the tendon tore, he could still walk, but he would walk differently from then on. I love preaching to y'all. Do you know why y'all are shouting over an anatomy lesson? Because God has been touching your tendon. He touched your tendon. When he touched Jacob's tendon, it didn't mean Jacob wouldn't get there. It just meant he would get there limping.
Somebody in this room today has been torn by life's challenges, and it wasn't always what the Enemy did. The Bible says the angel saw the only way to overpower Jacob was to touch near the tendon. God has had us in a season of our lives where he had to touch the tendon. The tendon is the tissue that holds it all together. The tendon is what connects the muscle to the bone. If the tendon is torn, it may not have any strength to it, but God said you can still get there. You will have to limp from now on. That's not a bad thing. See, Jacob's tendency was to run. His tendency was to run. Oh! I want to retitle the message. I want to call this message "A Trickster Learns to Trust," because Jacob tricked his way all the way to this place in his life. "Oh, bless me. I'll pretend to be Esau. Oh, bless me. I'll give you some beans. Oh, if you're mad at me, I'll run and start all over".
That has been some of you all your life. You have been running from you all your life. Not Esau…you. For the Bible said that when God blessed him, he renamed him. His name was Jacob, but his name was Israel. Which one was it? He's torn. One means trickster. One means prince. Jacob means heel-grabber, because when he was born he was grabbing his brother's heel, trying to get out first. He's not grabbing heels anymore. Now his hip has been touched, and God said, "I'm going to make you Israel, a prince". Israel means prince, y'all. He's going to be a prince. Tell somebody next to you, "You're going to be a prince". (Or princess. Modify it. Be inclusive, everybody. It's 2022.) You're going to be a limping prince, because you're going to be reminded for the rest of your life that you can't outrun God's plan. You can't outrun God's purpose.
If you make your bed in hell, he's there. If you make your bed in the depths of the sea, even there his hand will lead you and his right hand will hold you up. "I'm Jacob. I'm Israel. Which one will I be"? That's what you're deciding every day you wake up. That's what you're deciding every situation you walk into. "Am I going to walk according to my new nature or my old name"? I'm standing up here holding hands with two big, grown, strong men just to illustrate how you have felt in this season of your life…torn but trusting. Jacob lived with this limp the rest of his life. Do you know how I know?
Look at Hebrews 11:21. The Bible says, "By faith Jacob…" That in itself is a miracle. The one who spent his whole life trying to figure it out, the one who spent his whole life running from stuff he couldn't bear to face, the one who spent his whole life trying to pretend to be something else, by the end of his life… The Bible says, "By faith Jacob…" Jacob isn't running anymore. Jacob can't run from himself anymore. Jacob can't run from his calling anymore. Neither can you. God has brought you to this place, and he has put you in between. He stuck you where you are, and he's not letting you go until he blesses you. Do you hear me? He won't let go! It's not you holding on to God; it's God holding on to you. God is going to give some of you a little "boop" blessing this week. He blessed him with a "boop". He said, "Don't run from this. You stay right here. You receive your calling. You receive your inheritance".
You are a joint heir with Jesus. You are that thing. I'm telling you what. Jacob, by faith… Hebrews 11:21: "By faith Jacob, when he was dying…" What? He's standing in between life and death, and watch what he did in between his life and his death. He blessed. Do you see the transformation? He's saying, "Bless me," but by the end of his life, he's saying, "Be blessed". That's why God touched his tendon: so he could walk differently, think differently, talk differently. Can I keep going? Just a few more words. "By faith, Jacob…" He's standing between the portals of eternity and the time-bound frame of his humanity, and he starts blessing Joseph's sons. Who's Joseph? The son who was thrown into a pit, the son he thought he'd never see again, the son he thought was as good as dead. His heart was torn. His coat was torn, but God wasn't through with Joseph. I came to declare: It's not over! You're just in between!
By faith Jacob blessed Joseph's boys, who he never thought he'd see again. This is a miracle. "…and worshiped as he leaned on the top of his staff". He never quit limping, but he never stopped walking. You're going to get there. You're going to get there limping. Everybody's tissue is torn. Everybody's hip is out of socket. All have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God. Everybody who's leaving this church today is limping in some area of their life. Everybody is torn. This is a fragmented world. This is a fallen world. We are dust, but in these earthen vessels, we have the treasure of God's glory. I want to leave you with this. Even in his dying breaths, his name was still Jacob. He never quit limping. Even as he blessed the grandsons of the boys who would be the nation of Israel, he never stopped being Jacob.
So, do you know what the Lord told me we have to do? We have to trust through the tearing. When life feels like it's pulling you in two different directions and you're not doing very good at either… How many have said this week in your life, "Man, I don't feel like I'm doing good in any of these areas of my life. I'm not doing good at home. I'm not doing good at work. I'm spread so thin. I've been so busy. Oh, if I could just have one thing, I could just hold on to that one thing. I could just be that one thing". Yet the reality of life is not that, is it? It's this. So, the Lord said you have to learn how to lean in the places that you're weak. By faith he blessed while leaning on his staff.