Stephanie Ike - Starting Over (01/20/2026)
In this sermon titled «Starting Over,» the preacher draws from a book club discussion on «First Ladies» and the story of Eliab in 1 Samuel 16-17 to encourage believers not to fear beginning anew. She emphasizes that clinging to unhealthy patterns, relationships, professions, or mindsets out of fear of «wasted time» prevents realizing God’s full potential for one’s life. Starting over involves surrendering self-perceptions to God for a renewed mind, trusting His unique path that stretches rather than fits, and seeking His voice over societal standards or validation. Closed doors signal redirection to open ones God has prepared, and nothing invested in Him is ever truly lost.
Starting Over: Overcoming Fear of the Unknown
We’ve been doing the book club for First Ladies. The book isn’t amazing—if you’re not screaming «suspicious, » you haven’t been paying attention to it—but the book is truly amazing, and I definitely recommend for everyone to read it. There is a chapter—there’s something she said that stood out to me and came to speak today that was highlighted again. And so it’s on chapter 2. The chapter is called «Learn Your Patterns.» And so there’s something she says, and it’s—I’ll read: «So if you have chosen to maintain an unhealthy mindset out of fear of starting over, you will never be able to realize the full potential of your life.»
So today’s message is called «Starting Over.» She talks about if you are afraid of starting over, you will never be able to realize the full potential of your life. So there is a connection between realizing the full potential and starting over. You see, «starting over» is a word we don’t like. You know, it has this negative connotation. Does it mean that all the years have been wasted, resources wasted? You know, what does that mean for everything I’ve invested myself into, right? We hold on to—you know, for some people you’re holding on to a place, some people hold on to positions, some professions, some people, right—and we’re holding on to this because of what we have invested in it. And so the idea of starting over—it’s like, okay, Lord, have I wasted my time? Have I wasted my years?
You see, there was a time that the very thing you’re holding on to now used to work for you. There was a time that, you know, everything seemed right; it seemed like it was all great. But in this moment, if you’re honest, instinctively you’re disconnected from that thing. And God has allowed you to encounter a door that is supposed to be open to you if everything was right, but it was shut. And so you see, family, this is a season of open doors, right? And that’s exciting, but it also means that if you’re in front of a door that is closed, God is not requiring you to knock, knock, knock—stop knocking. Who knows that song? But God is not even listening to that song; it’s not on His playlist, right? Listen—so God is not requiring any knocking. He’s not requiring any effort. There are open doors in front of you. There are open doors for your destiny. So if there is a door that is shut, then perhaps you’re in the wrong place.
Darkness as the Beginning
You see, starting over is not even about wasted years. It’s not even about highlighting the wrong decisions you made or the wrong choices you made, because ultimately, you know, a wrong decision is a decision made in darkness. You cannot choose right if you don’t see right, and darkness is not something to be afraid of. Darkness is not an evil thing. Creation started in darkness. God has a way of using darkness as the beginning, because without darkness, you would never value or understand the essence of light. You know, in Genesis 1 it talks about how the earth was without form and it was void, and darkness covered the face of the deep. But it’s so fascinating to me because in that darkness, God says, «Let there be light.» So in that very thing that seems scary—that seems like, oh my gosh, I just made all the bad decisions—light is contained inside it, because God wasn’t creating light; He just said, «Light, be.» And you see, we’re in a season where God is speaking to you, «Let there be light.» And what that means is He’s calling forth your true self.
And so starting over is not about—it’s not that everything that you’ve been through is what will cause you to value where He’s taking you. And so it’s not that you wasted years. You see, a lot of times you like to probably stay in relationships or something because you invested a lot in the relationship. You’re like, «Listen, I paid some dues on you; I need a return.» But it’s not even that, because if that relationship is not meant to be, what if everything that went wrong with that was so that you would value what is right when God brings your person?
Renewal of the Mind and Surrender
And so when God gave me this message about starting over, I understood that it really deals with the renewal of the mind. It deals with you seeing the same thing but differently, so you understand how to make the right choice. You see, the Bible talks about as a man thinks, so is he. So that means the renewal of the mind ultimately is a reinvention of yourself, and that self is the true version of you that God is calling forth. You see, in life we make a lot of decisions, we make a lot of choices. You know, the truth is there’s a lot of things—even when you’re in Christ and you’re, you know, «Jesus, yes"—there’s some things that you make out of your own wisdom. There’s some things you make out of the counsel of people that might not be led by God. There’s some decisions you make based on what it looks like and what society says: if it looks like this, it must be this. And so we make these decisions.
And you know, I love it—Hebrews 12 talks about how when God—God will shake things up so that which cannot be shaken will stand. And so God is aware that we create things in our lives, and it comes to a place, it comes to an appointed time in a season where He starts causing things to be shaken up. So for some of you, this is a season where your frustration, for some reason, has increased. You’re very like—you’re just—it’s kind of like this disturbing thing, like, what is going on with me? What’s—you know, I’m not really sure; I just get irritated easily. It’s—you’re not weird. It’s not like, you know, there’s no spirit against you, right? It’s just the atmosphere of what’s happening spiritually. There is a shaking taking place. And to define that properly, God is calling you to yourself.
But you see, in order for this to happen, we have to come to a place of surrender. We have to come to a place to say, «God, I am going to lay down everything I know of myself—even what I believe is my purpose, even what I believe is my calling, even who I believe is for me. I am willing to lay it all down to You so that You would show me what is Your will in this, » not being afraid to say, you know what, maybe I had it wrong, not being afraid to say maybe I followed something that wasn’t led by You but it seemed to be.
You see, there’s a passage in Proverbs—it’s Proverbs 3, and we could pull that up. It’s Proverbs 3:5-6, right? And this is a very familiar passage of Scripture because it tells us to not lean on our own understanding, right? But in all our ways we should trust in the Lord, right? I’m paraphrasing, but yeah: «Trust in the Lord with all your heart and do not depend on your own understanding.» And then verse 6 says, «Seek His will in all you do, and He will show you which path to take.» You see, some versions talk about «and He will make the crooked paths straight.» So that means that sometimes in life we are on a crooked journey which leads to closed doors, and we’re trying to figure out why is the door in front of me that is supposed to be open closed? And then God reminds us, do not lean on your own understanding. Seek Me. Let Me find out what is My will in everything you’re doing that you also say it’s for Me.
You see, sometimes the very things that become a stronghold—it’s a stronghold sometimes because we believe like, this is what God wants me to do. But you see, if that is what God wants you to do, there’s no issue surrendering it to Him, because if it is, He will give that thing back to you. Abraham and Isaac—God is the one who told him, «I will give you a son.» The same God tells him, «Sacrifice the son.» It’s not making sense, but are we willing to surrender everything we think we know about ourselves so that that which He has purposed will stand?
The Story of Eliab: God’s Standard vs. Man’s
You see, there’s a passage we’re going to look into, and the passage is familiar, but the person is not really someone we talk about, and it’s someone by the name of Eliab. Eliab was David’s oldest brother. You see, we can actually even go to 1 Samuel 16. You see, there was a time where obviously, you know, Israel wanted a king. God picked a king—He picked the king Saul—and then Saul did some things that were just a little, you know, out of hand. God says, «Look, bro, we’re going to choose somebody else, all right?» So God tells His prophet, His prophet Samuel—He says, you know what, go to the house of Jesse. He has eight sons. I have chosen a king amongst his sons, and I will show you who to choose, who to anoint, right? And so the prophet Samuel, he goes to Jesse’s house, and this is what happens.
So when they—so he, you know, he comes in, he tells, you know, the father Jesse, like, you know, bring all your sons and all that stuff so that we would see who the Lord has chosen. So when they entered, Eliab is the first son. He looked at Eliab and thought, «Surely the Lord’s anointed is before Him.» Verse 7: «But the Lord said to Samuel, 'Do not look at his appearance or at the height of his stature—these two things are very important—because I have rejected him. For God sees not as man sees, for man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.'»
Now that’s a powerful Scripture—God looks at the heart. Beautiful. But that’s not the message. But you see, what is fascinating—that word «rejected"—you know, «I have rejected him.» I was looking into that word, and it also carries the meaning of to disappear and to not look at it even in a negative way. What I understood about it—it’s almost as though, you see, what God was appointing, right, a king for Israel—you know, when something disappears, it’s not even existing. He could not see Eliab because it was never for him. So it’s not just rejection in the terms of «I have rejected you.» It cannot see you; it can only see who it has been appointed to.
But now Eliab—my heart went towards Eliab because, you see, why I said it’s very important to know this appearance and height—when Israel needed a king, so God had been ruling over Israel. Israel gets up and says, «We want a king like every other nation.» And God is like—you know, first the prophet Samuel was like, you know what are they doing? God says, «It’s okay. It’s not you the prophet they’re rejecting; it is Me they’re rejecting.» All Israel knew was that they want a king. Now when God gave them King Saul—you see, who they saw was—God actually chose King Saul. It wasn’t a random thing. He appointed him. He said, okay, you know what, this is the person; anoint him and all that stuff, right? But when God chose King Saul, He wasn’t choosing the king in the manner of who He would have chosen for Israel, His chosen nation. He chose King Saul in a manner of what every other person does, because the motivating factor behind Israel wanting a king was, «We want to be like every other nation.»
So let’s go to 1 Samuel—I believe it’s verse 9. You see, when God chose King Saul, there were things that were very distinct about him. «So now he had—so he had the son» is referring to Saul’s father. «So he said he had a son whose name was Saul, a choice and handsome man, and there was not a more handsome person than he among the sons of Israel. From his shoulders and up he was taller than all of the people.» Saul—first of all, this is God; God chose him. The people don’t know the motivating factor behind how God chose him—nothing like that. All they know is that God has chosen a king. Now this king is someone that when you see him, there were things that were very distinct about him: his appearance and his height. So he was chosen among the house of Israel—among all the men of Israel, God chose the man who was the tallest and preferably the most handsome. So the standard of what it appears is that when God is looking for a king, it deals with beauty and height.
Now comes Eliab. He’s aware that now Jesse is in the house—I mean, prophet Samuel is in the house. The prophet is saying God has—you know, God brought him here to anoint a king. Eliab, when he sees himself amongst his brothers, he sees a man who is the tallest and the most handsome. Now God—first of all, we know that the firstborn does not always mean you’re the tallest, right? Or the most handsome, right? I’ve seen a lot of firstborns that were the shortest and not the most handsome, okay? But for some reason, when God created and formed Eliab and when God was aware of all the other brothers He was going to bring on the earth through Jesse, He caused Eliab to be the tallest and the most handsome. Even the prophet—the prophet of God—in his own wisdom believed, this is definitely the one that God has chosen. What they didn’t realize is that that was never God’s standard.
You see, Israel is a chosen nation. When God wants to do things based on the fact that you are chosen by Him, it is never the same as what works for other people. And when He was calling—when He chose David, He was not going to choose David in the manner—because now it is His choice. Now He’s making a choice based on what He desires for the people.
Eliab’s Bitterness and Goliath Encounter
You see, I share this to say a lot of times you can have a gift, right? Let’s say you sing. You see someone else that is singing, and it’s working for them. This person is singing—God, this person is, you know, making money, fame, all of that. You’re looking at yourself like, I’m a singer—you know, why isn’t that happening for me? What is going—now thank you very much. But what you don’t understand is that God can give you a very similar gift, but what He wants to do with that could be very different. And so we have come—we have accustomed to, you know, what I have this gift, I have this talent, I have this ability, I can do this—this should be the profession I go into. You know, I’m this—this should be the place because of this. These are the things I like; this is the place I should live. You know, this is my budget, so this is where I should be. We have this idea based on what society, what people, what the counsel of people have told us.
And so when it’s not working, in our wisdom—and we don’t think of it this is the truth—you’re not thinking of it as your wisdom; you’re just thinking of it as what makes sense. It makes sense for Eliab to be king. All they knew of God’s standard was when God chooses a king—wow, he’s obviously beautiful and he’s tall. See, some of you are in this room, and you’re angry—if you’re honest, there’s this anger, because anger just masks hurt. And the anger is that, God, why is it not working? And it’s not just why is it not working, because someone within your very midst—the same thing that could work for you is working for them. Eliab was David’s brother, his oldest brother, and now he’s watching his brother be anointed king. If the prophet Samuel thought that Eliab should be the one anointed, what do you think Eliab thought?
You see, Eliab—after this, it appeared to be that he carried some bitterness and some hurt, because if we go to 1 Samuel—I believe it’s 17—there’s an encounter he had with David. Hallelujah. There’s an encounter he had with David. So you see, their father—so Eliab, first of all, was in Saul’s army, right? And this is when God—the very thing that you believe about yourself, God will cause something to come in the midst to show you this is not the door I have for you. You see, there was a point where, you know, Eliab is in the army. Goliath—obviously we know, you know, the story of Goliath. Goliath shows up. The Philistines are fighting the Israelites, right? Goliath is a warrior. He’s not—Goliath is not the king; he’s just a warrior, like Eliab is a warrior. Goliath shows up and he says, «Look, look, look, we don’t need to do all this fighting each other. I am a warrior; select one of your warriors, and let’s fight. Whoever wins—you know, the loser will submit to the winner. If you guys win, the Philistines will submit to the Israelites.»
So during this period, their father—David’s father—sends David on an errand. He says, you know what, bring food to your brothers and let me know about their welfare. David goes over to meet his brothers. David hears about Goliath; he hears about what’s happening. He hears that, you know, Goliath is saying all these things—you know, just defying the name of, you know, the God they serve and all these things about what he’s going to do. So David starts to inquire. So now it says, «Now Eliab his oldest brother heard when he spoke to the men.» So this is when he’s hearing David speak to the men. So David is interested about, wait, what would happen to the person who challenges Goliath? Now Goliath has said, give me a warrior just like I am a warrior. David—even though Eliab knows you have an anointed king—it’s still like, you’re still the shepherd boy. I don’t care what happened, right?
So Eliab—and it says, «And Eliab’s anger burned against David.» You see, like I said, anger is only a mask for hurt. Eliab is in a place, I believe, of confusion: how is the thing that was supposed to be for me—it makes sense that this should be the path for me—is given to my brother? And now my brother is here—what if his insecurities about his inability to perform as a soldier? Because all along, you know, they’re doing things that every soldier can do—they’re going for battles, you fight, all that stuff. But now Goliath is trying to single out a person. Eliab is very aware he’s not going to fight Goliath, because if he was, he would have signed up for it. So there is a door in front of him that he cannot walk through. And David—who he has watched anointed—that probably obviously has the ability to do it—he’s angry at him. And he says, «Why have you come down? And with whom have you left those few sheep"—this is just anger talking, right—"in the wilderness?» And then he says to David, «I know your insolence and the wickedness of your heart, for you have come down in order to see the battle.»
So in Eliab’s mindset, David seeing the battle carries an evil motivation. He’s thinking that perhaps David is here to watch me fail, and he’s angry at that. You see, from Eliab’s perspective—and from what I believe God was doing with Eliab—was giving him the opportunity to surrender what he had believed about himself all along. Eliab was a warrior in Saul’s army, and if he looked at himself—when the prophet comes in, he’s probably thinking, I should probably be the king that they’re going to anoint. But this was an opportunity for him to start over. It was an opportunity for a new beginning in his life. But the fear of failure—and failure is never really failure. Failure is more of—it’s more of the perception of how people would view you that we fear, because failure in itself is always a lesson. We learn something; we are taught something; we’re taught how to do something different. It’s what trains us; it’s what builds us. The fear that we have is how people would perceive us.
Eliab—what would he—when the story comes out that, wait, God chose David and not you? Aren’t you like the most handsome in the family? Aren’t you the tallest in the family? You see, family, what God showed me in this room—those watching—there are certain gifts, talents, places, professions—your things that you’re holding on to—there are people—and there is a disconnect. For some reason you cannot move forward at this point. It had been working all along, and I’m not talking about, you know, enduring or, you know, waiting it out. I’m not talking about that. Instinctively you know that something is wrong. It’s not about you having need for patience; there’s something wrong. And in this season, God desires for you to be in front of your open door. He’s not desiring for you to be in a wrong place. And so seeing a shut door is just room for redirection. It’s room to say, «Lord, maybe I got this wrong.» And that’s okay, because it would allow me to value what’s right, right?
Four Thoughts on Starting Over
You see, when I was reading this, there were four thoughts I had about starting over, and I’ll share that. The first one—and we could put that up—the first one: the God thing is not designed to fit you; it is designed to stretch you. You see, we like—if Eliab was king, if they chose him, right—it’s what fits him. He fits the part; he has the look; he has the height. It fits him. But when God is calling you—can we have the background in black, please? —when God is calling you, God is never calling you to something that fits; He calls you to something that will stretch you.
You see, when I was preparing for this message, there was this almost—this image God gave me. When God calls us, right—it’s almost as though God is—let’s say right here there’s a version of me right here. When He calls you—I see my friend Guy in the back. Guy, can you please stand up? We’re going to do a little demonstration here. When He calls you—so stay right there. You’re all the way—you’re all the way—for those watching, he’s all the way back there. You’re all the way back there, and you might be doing all kinds of crazy things, right? Partying—do I don’t know what you do, but hopefully not now, right? But there is a version of you that is with Him—that is the highest version of you. So when He—when He says the whole thing about the calling of God—that’s why you never talk yourself out of the calling. God is very aware of where you are. He’s very aware of all the stuff you’re doing. But when He calls you—just like when He says a name—so if I say, «Guy, » right, «come forth"—first of all, he has a decision to say yes. That’s the whole thing—when we say, would you give God your yes? He has a decision to say, do I want to answer the calling? Do I not want to answer the calling? If he says yes, he starts walking towards me, right? And so every step—every step he takes, he’s walking into a higher version of himself, a higher version of himself.
And so what God does—and ultimately—so if this is where God is standing and the final, you know, the final thing—obviously heaven—when Guy is now standing right here with the Lord, right? And so when He calls you, every door He opens is to call you to a higher version of yourself. It’s not about what’s supposed to make sense, because you haven’t even met that person. You knew the person at the door; you don’t know the person here. But God knows every version of you, and He knows what would ultimately cause you to be here. And so the calling of God is a process. It’s not because He called you that means, oh my gosh, I need to get my life right. I don’t know why I keep doing this, Lord. I’m not sure You called me because I keep doing this. No—God was aware, and He knows every platform, every door that will lead you to a higher version of yourself.
You see, with Eliab, it was not about him becoming king. No, no, no, no, no. There was a purpose—I believe there was a very powerful purpose on his life. But if we are stuck in this place of anger—which is not even dealing with the real emotion, which is just hurt—if we don’t say, «God, I feel—I’m hurt about this. God, You’re good. Thank You very much.» If we don’t say, «God, this thing—you know, I had to believe about where my life was supposed to be right now. I had a belief about what this profession was supposed to do. I had a belief about this relationship. I had—you know, I had an idea about this; I had an idea about that.» It’s okay to be hurt. That’s—you know, that God is not afraid of. It’s just like saying, is the answer worried about the question? You know, can an answer be scared if you give it the question? The answer needs a question, right? So God is not afraid of you bringing your questions to Him. He is the way, right? He is the truth. And so your questions—it does not bother Him. Your questions do not mean you are an unbeliever. God values relationship. That’s why there’s a Scripture that says, «Come, let us reason together.» God desires for you to talk to Him.
And so if something hurt you—like Eliab was hurt—bring that to Him. «I thought this was supposed to be like this, and this was supposed to be like this. Why is it not working?» Could it be that—even when, if you know, there’s a profession that you love—let’s say you love to run or something, right—and for some reason the mindset, the career that you had in mind with running is not what’s panning out. And what if God has a vision of you training high school students or I don’t know something, right? He has a vision of—maybe it’s not about you doing what you wanted to do, but I want this to become a purpose for you to use this and build other people. But we have a vision based on what has been working for others. And that brings to my second thought: the idea that inspired your birth wasn’t an existing idea.
You see, the Scripture talks about that God is the beginning and the end, but in Him there is no end. So He’s just trying to tell you that everything is in Me. I am infinite. I wouldn’t create you to duplicate someone else. You are not the copy of someone else’s life. As a child of God, you are chosen by Him. He would not operate—He would not function in your life like He does for—or like you see for every other person. And so whatever it is that is a weight on you—when I was praying about this message, I prayed that the Holy Spirit would reveal to each person listening what their «it» is. What is that thing that is weighing on you that you cannot seem to figure out? «God, what is this disconnect? This was working at a point in time.» And He wants to show you that, look, if your mindset is based on what you have seen, there’s a renewal of the mind that needs to take place, because I am so endless—I don’t need copies. God does not need another you. Walk in the streets—even twins don’t come out at the same time.
And the third thing—there is more to life than winning #winning. Now when I say this, I’m not talking about, you know, being a conqueror in God. I’m not talking about that, because in that we are always winners, right? We have the victory through Christ Jesus. I want to say—through Christ Jesus. What I’m talking about is our generation’s obsession with winning—that we are so obsessed with this idea of winning at the cost of destiny. We are so obsessed with looking like we are winning that we win at things that have no business in our lives.
You see, I remember—true story—in college there was this guy I was talking to, right? He just looked like a «Daddy with a Z, » right? He—I mean, just a beautiful man. Our best conversations were when we didn’t have conversations. And there was no engagement—if he opened his mouth, I would, you know—I’m just like, oh gosh, why, why, why, why? But you see, because of his beauty, I was winning. I said, listen, I am winning in this relationship thing, because when people would see him, I’m like, «Winning!» You know? But when nobody was around, I’m like, Lord have mercy—this man should never speak. He should just not speak, because when he speaks, I’m just like, why am I here, right? And so I share this to say that sometimes this obsession with winning is all about validation. It’s about how would people perceive me.
You see, was it—could it have been that Eliab’s frustration had nothing to do with if he was king? If he wasn’t king—who could—I mean, he wasn’t king, right? There was already a king; he was fine with that. But now looking like a failure before people—that when God decided to pick someone in your house, He picked the one that doesn’t look the part. What is this obsession we have with winning—and not in God’s way? I’m talking about the world’s way, where we stick to things just to look like, yes, #CEO, #boss, #winning—and you know, and the COO is not the purpose that God has called for you. It’s a beautiful thing to run your company. It’s a beautiful thing to be an entrepreneur. But it’s even better to be authentic. And so all I’m saying is that God can call you in a variety of things, but let it be that which He called you to do. Let it be that, okay, you know, God, this is a thing that You’re telling me to do—so you know, yes. And it might not look like I’m winning in the beginning, but if I’m walking in my truth, that’s the real definition of winning. That is when you have the victory in Christ Jesus, because the truth is God will never validate something that is not His.
And so I bring this up to say—even as we are here—what is that thing that you are so obsessed with people knowing you have a hand over? And is that thing God, or is that based on this need for validation, this need for people to, you know, like you? If it’s God, then that’s beautiful, because guess what—God too, you know, He’s a boss, CEO, #winning. But He wants you to win in your truth. He wants you to win in what He has called you to do—not to win in a lie.
The fourth thing is: do not be afraid to seek. You see, Eliab—it’s so interesting—the name Eliab actually means «God is my Father.» And I don’t think it’s coincidence that he would have such a name, because there’s a passage in Matthew—I believe it’s Matthew 7:9-11—when it talks about, Hallelujah, you see it says, «What man is there among you when his son asks for a loaf will give him a stone?» And then it says, «Or if he asks for a fish, will he not give him—or will he give him a snake?» Will he—that’s an interesting word. Now if you—Hallelujah—if you then, being evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father who is in heaven give what is good to those who ask Him?
Family, I’m here to tell you that where there is confusion, God desires to give you clarity. If Eliab—God being a good Father—if Eliab was willing to seek the Lord—and we don’t know the end of his story, so perhaps—who knows—maybe it’s open-ended. But even I will remove his name and I’ll put your name. What is it that has caused you confusion? What is it that is causing you hurt? And God is saying, look, I am a good Father. Don’t be afraid to seek Me, because God is willing—this season is so critical—God is willing to show you who you really are so you can walk down the paths of open doors. Don’t be afraid to seek things out. Don’t be afraid—take some time. For some people, perhaps you might need to go into fasting—I don’t know—but take some time. It is so important that you in this season be willing to surrender everything you think you know about yourself and say, «Father, who am I? What have You called me to do?»
Personal Story: Modeling and Representation
You see, I have some really good cheekbones, right? I sure do. But there’s a story with that. I’m going to share a story—you have to own what you got. Listen—so for so long people would tell me, «Stephanie, you should model because you got cheekbones, » right? I’m like, you know, these are natural, right? So everyone was like, «Stephanie, you should—you should model.» And I used to model when I was younger in Nigeria, and I just—I never liked it, right? Nigeria—I never—it was never my thing. I just didn’t like it. I was just like, I don’t want to model. And then everyone would keep telling me, «Stephanie, you should model, you should model, you should model, you should model.» And so you start hearing so many people’s voices, and you’re like, God, I didn’t even—this is not even about a conversation I’m even having with the Lord. I’m just like, God, you know, everyone is telling me to model. I don’t want to be afraid to miss something that would bless me.
You see, we have this thing where we are afraid to miss God. We are afraid to miss the purpose. We’re afraid to miss the calling. God knows how to get information to you. There’s no need to be afraid of something. And so I’m like, God, you know, I don’t want to miss this. You know what—but something deep down, I was not connected with it, right? And so one day—and I would get these messages, and I’m like, God, are You the one talking about modeling? And there are times where He would talk to me about modeling, but I never really inquired further. So I assume that the moment He says «modeling, » I filter that through the counsel of people: oh, you know what, God said modeling—I think I should be a model.
So one night, you know, I was like, okay, God, I really need to understand this thing. You know, am I missing out on my blessing? You know, is there like checks out there for me that I need to be cashing in on? Listen—so one night I’m like, God, really talk to me about this thing. So He says to me very simply, He says, «Just give Me your yes towards modeling, and I will show you what it is.» I said, okay, boom. I said, okay, yes, God—you know, yes. Two hours later, a friend texts me. She’s like, «Hey, girl, what are you doing tomorrow at 6:00 a.m.?» I’m like, what do people do at 6:00 in the morning? I don’t know—coffee, brunch? What—6 a.m.? That’s just crazy. Like, what am I doing? You know, studying? I don’t know. So I’m like, what’s up, right? 'Cause I can’t really answer that question. And so she’s like, «Hey, you know, Access Hollywood needs a model for something. I’m supposed to be there; I can’t make it. Can you do it?» Normally I would be like, just no, right? But I’m like, God, I already gave You a yes. Oh, Lord. I was like, sure, girl—you know, wink face, looking excited, but I’m not. Emojis are deceitful.
So the next day I’m just like, Stephanie, why—what are you doing, right? So I go there. I’m like, okay, fine. I get to the studio, and we’re like, you know—so I see where, you know, they have the clothes or whatever. She goes ahead and she says—she tells them like, oh, you know, she’s a pastor. I didn’t know she told them that. So I’m in there. I see the outfit they had laid for me, and you’re like, wow, we heard you’re a pastor. I said, oh, awesome—just great. I’m like, isn’t that fascinating? And so they had—they had this dress. With the dress—there’s a story behind this; there’s a story that would cause, you know, give praise to Jesus. So with this dress, they had the Giving Keys for the necklace. They had two Giving Keys chains. I have one of them on me—so I’m wearing it. The lady comes in; she’s like, so one of the hosts—she comes and she’s like, «Wow, that is so fitting for you, being that you’re a pastor.» I said, oh, praise God—you know, Hallelujah. The whole time I really don’t want to be here, but I’m here because I said yes, God.
So funny enough, every other model there were not really models, you know—one was an actress on a show I love, another one was a talk show host—but everybody’s there to model. I’m like, okay, right? So the show is going live, and they’re like, hey, you’re going to go first. I’m like, sure. So I’m out there walking on the camera, and they’re like, wow, you know, she’s a pastor—this is live TV. I was like, yes—do you want a sermon? I didn’t say that, though. But I was like, yes, praise God. I get off the stage—I don’t even know if he’s here or not—one of the guys in the studio who works with them, he comes up to me. He’s like, «Pastor Stephanie.» I said, oh, Lord. I said, hi, sir. He said, «Wow, you model.» I said, sure do—praise God. And so he’s like, yeah, you know, I just—you know, one church. I said, one church—praise God.
So when I left, I said, God, what—what did I do? What did I sign up for? What was this, right? And the Lord spoke to me. He said, «I told you I would show you something.» He said, «I have not called you to model in the way everyone models. I have called you to represent.» Because modeling, right, is about representing a brand—that’s what it is. He said, «I have called you to represent Me.» And so even having—even having the chain for the Giving Keys—the Giving Keys is a brand that, you know, when you look into what they’re about, every purchase you make, they use it to actually support people that are transitioning from homelessness, right—to offer them jobs and things like that. So the very thing I had on was representing the hand of God. And then He tells me, He says, «Look at the necklace they gave you. What does it say?» So I looked at it. It says «create.» And it said, «I’m calling you to create.»
I never knew what that meant. I was like, okay, God. I said, first of all, I’m glad we cleared the modeling situation—bye-bye. And so weeks after that, God starts speaking to me about, you know, there’s a movie that I want you to do—there’s a movie I want you to make. I’m like, God, I’ve never done that—that’s not, you know, that’s not what we do. But I was very fast to say yes, even though in my mind I’m like, God, this movie sounds crazy, right? This idea—like, this is the first time we’re doing this, and it’s a very weighty topic. But why I’m sharing this is because out of something that I wondered, «God, is this You? Is this not You?"—being open to Him—He used that to show me, first of all, I’m calling you to represent Me. So even though you were in a place to model, all they were talking about is pastoring. What you were representing was a brand that is almost like My hands. And I caused them to give you something that would show you an open door I have set before you.
You see, even when the idea with the film—God gave those connected to this project—know that—that are involved with it—it’s been a God thing all the way. There was no need—there were no knocks. It was open doors all the way from the beginning to what is happening right now. And so I’m sharing this, family, because for some of you, God is going to redirect you to a door that you’re very unfamiliar with. But if you say yes to Him—say yes, ask questions later, right? 'Cause He will answer the questions. But just give that—if, when you have a relationship with Him, you have that trust in Him. And so you can just say, «God, you know, I’m not really sure, but hey, I’m—you know, I’m in.» And He will explain the details as you go.
But family, don’t be afraid to seek. Don’t define yourself by what everyone tells you you’re supposed to do. Don’t define yourself by what it looks like you should do. What is God saying? «God, what is Your will in this? What are You showing me in this season? Who am I?» If your will is engaged in this question, I guarantee you—from what He showed me concerning you—He will show you. And why I say if your will is engaged—this is not a question you ask in passing. It’s not a thing of, God, just let me know who I am, and I’m going to run off to do other things. It’s a question you ask in waiting: «God, who am I? Show me who I am. Show me myself. If I’m going to wait on You in prayer, if I’m going to wait on You in fasting—give me myself.» Because He desires to do that. All He’s waiting for is your voice and for you to mean it.
Altar Call and Prayer
Family, stand with me. Thank You, Jesus. Thank You, Jesus. You see, family, if you are here and you know that you’re holding on to something—that it feels like there is a disconnect—everything we talked about—and you’re in this place of, «God, I just need to know who I am. I want to know who You’ve called me to be in this season so I can walk through the doors that are already open.» I’m not—where God is not in the business of trying to have you struggle, jiggle, wiggle—you know, no, none of that. It’s open. If that is you, come on down. Thank You, Jesus. Thank You, Jesus. Thank You, Jesus. Thank You, Jesus. «Who am I? Who am I, God?» That’s a question that is on your heart. Come down. Lord, show me myself. Give me me. I don’t want to just do things just because I’m told to—it’s just because I’ve been doing it all my life. «Who am I?» God desires to lead you to the door that He has set before you. But it’s the renewed mind—it’s a different version of you that would see that door. Thank You, Jesus. Thank You, God.
If there is a hurt you’re carrying and it’s been masked with anger—you are in this house, you walk into this building, you’re watching on live stream—but you’re angry. Are you willing to surrender that hurt to God? Come down. Thank You, Jesus. You don’t have to be—you don’t have to be—see, we are children of God. No matter the—you know, we have this idea of age on the earth—you know, you’re baby, whatever—do with—we’re all children of God. There’s no need to be tough before Him. There’s no need. He’s not afraid of your questions, and He’s not afraid of your pain. He’s not requiring you to have this robotic, icy life of just like, no pain, no gain—you know, no—have some pain; there is some gain, right? It’s not a gym lifestyle with Jesus. You can have pain, right?
If you’re still out there and you’re holding this hurt—and that is even what is limiting you from walking down here—because if you’re honest—and I will speak what’s in your mind—it’s like, it doesn’t even matter. That’s what you’re saying to yourself: it doesn’t even matter if I go down there. If I go down, whatever—it doesn’t really matter. But the truth is, what pulled you to this house shows that it does matter. And so you’re standing your ground almost as though you don’t really believe He’s going to show you something. If that is you, come down. Thank You, Jesus. I see you. Thank You, Jesus. Thank You, Jesus. I see you.
You see, family, God will wait on you. He will wait on you. Thank You, Jesus. It does matter. It does matter. Wow. Have Your way, God. Have Your way, God. You see, if you’re battling with the idea like—and I have to say this again—you have not lost anything. You have not lost any years. You have not lost—the relationship didn’t work out—that doesn’t mean your life, the years you invested in that was in vain. The job didn’t work out—that doesn’t mean the life that—whatever you invested was in vain. Someone might—you might have—I don’t know—if you’re here watching on live stream—and it’s almost like your apartment might have caught on fire, and there were so many things you lost in the process. But that does not mean everything you worked for was in vain. It doesn’t mean that you had a car accident and the car was totaled and you couldn’t—there was no insurance—and it was almost like it was lost. There is no loss in God. It is not in vain.
I need to keep saying this for someone: you have not wasted your years. You moved somewhere; it didn’t work out. You had to move back; then you move back again—and it’s almost like, is my life just in this cycle of loss? It is not in vain. You see, the Bible says that the ways of God and the thoughts of God are higher than our ways. We believe that, you know, if I put this in here, it has to give me something back, right? If it doesn’t, there’s a loss. But with God, if you’re patient enough, you might not see anything—you see, that’s why there are certain trees, certain seeds—if once you throw a seed in there, boom, growth. There are some things that it takes years before you ever see something shoot out. And so you’re upset because it seems like, well, that was wasted. But at some point, if you’re patient—if you’re willing to trust Him that, you know what, all things do work for my good—you would see the very thing that you planted. There is no loss in Him. Thank You, Jesus. Thank You, Jesus.
Let us pray. And even as we pray—if anyone—if there’s an illness in your body, just touch that part of your body. If it’s a thigh, if it’s a bone—just touch—you know, we got bones everywhere—just touch. You know, if it’s anything—lungs—touch your chest. Just touch whatever part of your body. Let us pray.
Father God, we thank You. We thank You, Lord Jesus, for that which You are doing. Lord God, I thank You that Your children would know You as the resurrection and the life. You are the resurrection, and You are the life. You conquered death, so there’s nothing that can die in our lives. Time cannot be wasted; resources cannot be wasted—they’re all serving a purpose. I thank You, Lord, that even the things that seemed as though—you know, that I hear—there are many—they’re thinking about how I’m this age and I haven’t done this and I haven’t done that. It doesn’t matter. What if Your purpose and Your creating—and the reason He created you—was not for you to start at 18 but for you to start at 45?
I thank You, Lord Jesus, that this mentality of comparing ourselves—this obsession with winning as culture defines—I thank You, Lord God, that it is broken in this house in Jesus' name. I thank You, Lord, that every hurt Your children carry that has been masked in this anger—I thank You that as they are down by this altar, they are laying it down before You. I thank You, Lord, that we all here—everyone listening—that we are willing to say, «God, I surrender. I surrender all of me to You. I even surrender who I think I am. I even surrender what I think You said, because if You said it, You will say it again.»
I thank You, Lord, that we would not live in a fear of missing You or missing it or missing the time or the purpose. Lord God, but in this moment, in this time, in this season, we’re willing to say, «God, have Your way.» That maybe I’ve been doing things by my wisdom or the counsel of people that were not instructed by You—I want to hear Your voice, Lord. I want to know You, because in You I find me.
For some—God is calling you to a place of intimacy with Him. He’s not calling you to rely on the voices of people, but He’s saying, «My child, come to me.» He’s saying that it’s almost like He’s like, «Where have you been? I’m waiting for you. I want to speak to you. Make time for Me.» God is your Father. He will not die for you to not speak to you. He will not give the ultimate sacrifice and withhold His voice. To withhold His voice is to withhold Himself.
You see, I’m praying and I’m speaking—thank You, Jesus—in Genesis the Lord was known as the Voice. It would talk about how the voice was walking in the cool of the day. For Him to not speak to you is to withhold Himself. God desires to speak to you. Are you willing to listen? Are you willing to shut out all the voices and say, «God, I am here. I am here. Talk to me»? Are we willing to lay it down and say, «Lord, what do You have to say in the midst of every other person’s opinion and mine»?
Lord, as we are standing before You, I thank You that this is an army of people that are waiting on Your command. I thank You, Lord, that we would be okay to pause for a second to know if the path we are going is the crooked path or the straight path. Thank You, God. Guide us; lead us. We are Yours.
And I thank You for everyone who has touched a part of their body that needs healing. I thank You, Lord, because You are the Healer. And I thank You, Lord, that You are having—You’re there—Your angels are surrounding in this place, and they’re touching Your people. And so we thank You, God, for that which You are doing in this house in Jesus' name.
For there’s—for someone—even as we talk about praying for healing—I want to qualify something. You see, sometimes sickness is not always what we call sickness, because I don’t know if there’s someone in your family that might be battling with something. Sometimes—because it’s all about the perspective—and how the perspective of God—sometimes an illness is almost God’s way of allowing a person to slow down. It’s almost God’s way of allowing a person to just pause for a second and become in tune with their life, become in tune with their surroundings.
And so for someone—it seems like, you know, you’ve been praying for healing and it’s not happening. You feel like, you know, God, why isn’t this thing happening? But I want you to also change your perspective even in that area. Seek God, because what we often may call illness might not be an illness. Sometimes a person might even pass away from something like—let’s say someone passes away from cancer—but the truth is, cancer didn’t kill them. You see, the cross is not what killed Jesus—even though He was on the cross, He gave up His own spirit. And I believe that is an example that often times we look at it as though the sickness took a person away, but no—God called them. And it could be that this illness was just to allow them to slow down, say goodbye.
For someone that might be mourning someone and you’re wondering why didn’t God heal that person—what if that thing just allowed them to slow down? And for someone else, you might be praying for someone who might be ill, and God is just trying to give them a chance to just catch up—catch up with your family, catch up with the people around you. And so whatever area it is, family—all I’m saying is that I don’t have all the answers, but He does. Give that to Him too, where it’s so easy to just want to—boom—you know, be healed. But what if what we are calling sickness is not an illness?
And so open these areas to God. Thank You, Jesus. Thank You, God. For we would move and we would live by Your wisdom, by Your voice, by Your truth—because You are the way. And if there is any way that we need to seek, it would be through You. And so I thank You for people that are not afraid to seek You. They’re not afraid to ask You, because they know that You would not withhold Yourself from us. In Jesus' name, amen.