Sid Roth - This Evil Spirit is Destroying Marriages
Sid Roth: I believe there is supernatural help to miscommunicate. And there is also supernatural help to communicate! Not just in marriages, in all of life! There is someone egging you on to divide relationships and my guest, Craig Hill, has uncovered what I believe to be biblical supernatural keys for supernatural relationships! Now Craig, I find it fascinating and almost outrageous that 1 out of 2 marriages end up in divorce and that's true among those that are Christians and non-Christians alike! It shouldn't happen with Christians!
Craig Hill: No, that's absolutely right! You would think that we would understand something or people that have a relationship with God would access the supernatural power of God and would learn the things that would cause their marriages not to break up but as you said Sid, that frequently is not true and that many times without that understanding and that knowledge people live just like people who have no relationship with God and their marriages are destroyed as well!
Sid Roth: And the thing that's so overwhelming to me is your marriage. I mean I know your background. I know your wife's background. And you went through 7 years of turmoil till these keys were revealed to you. But I wanna take you back to 1975. You're a nice young pilot and you ran into what almost cost you your life. Tell me about it.
Craig Hill: Well that was true. I was flying for a living out of grand rapids Michigan flying the mail at night. And now one night on our way back from Chicago across lake Michigan back to grand rapids the air traffic control called us and said it's getting really foggy in Michigan. We suggest you turn back to Chicago. Well, being young and sorta arrogant, you know the other pilot and I decided not to and we decided no, we can beat the fog in. And to make a long story short we made 2 instrument approaches at grand rapids and it was too foggy for us to land and we saw no runway! No lights. Nothing! So we went to Lansing. Shot 2 approaches there and missed them both again. No visibility there. And you know the thing that happened is that low fuel little red lights came on in grand rapids and I knew we were in trouble!
Sid Roth: Now, now when you're driving a car and that happens that's bad! But when you're up in the air 'oy vey!'
Craig Hill: Yeah, that's exactly right! So after Lansing you know we had used up a huge amount of fuel trying to make these instrument approaches and we were really low. We said what else is open? They said Detroit so we blasted over to Detroit and we were the second to the last airplane to land with just minutes of fuel left! And so that was sort of a harrowing experience. I was praying all the way. You know o God, save my life!
Sid Roth: But with just minutes of fuel it could have gone the other way!
Craig Hill: Well that's exactly right, yeah. We could have ended up not making it and then ended up running out of fuel.
Sid Roth: But briefly explain what was going in in the invisible world.
Craig Hill: In the invisible world what I found out about 6 or 7 months later, Sid, was really an amazing thing. I met a young woman in Europe who had been at a mission school in Germany at the same time that this event was taking place. Every morning their habit was to get up and in a small group pray not just their shopping list of things they wanted to pray but they would ask God what is on your heart today, father? And then they would pray those various things. One day the group they had a list every day of things that they felt like the Spirit of God was giving them and one day one thing on the list was 'airplane'. They didn't know what to pray for exactly so they began asking and the group of them together got pieces like a puzzle and one person said well I believe this airplane we're to pray for is fast! Like united but it's small. Someone else said I see 2 people on board and that's all. Just a crew. And one is older, one is young. They're wearing light blue jump suits, they're flight suits and they're carrying the U.S. mail. Somebody else said I see a map like the great lakes area of the United States, and these people were in Germany when they were praying, and they said the problem is this airplane's having difficulty finding a place to land. We need to pray for the safety of the crew and a place to land! So they had all these details. Well about in July of that year I met this young woman on this team and I began to recognize that God was doing something between us and that she might end up being my wife! So as time progressed I was telling her all the harrowing stories and experiences of my life. I began to tell her this one and as I shared these details she said 'we prayed for you!' I said 'what do you mean you prayed for me?' and she said were you both wearing light blue one piece flight suits? I said yeah. She said was the other pilot quite a bit older than you? I said yeah. She said we prayed for you and she told me what was happening is that the very time that we were having the problem about 4 in the morning in Michigan they were at 9 in the morning over in Germany praying these prayers and, and releasing something in the supernatural. I believe Sid had my wife had not prayed with that small group we well could have died!
Sid Roth: And of course at that time she wasn't his wife but she had a prophetic word at that time. What did someone tell her about?
Craig Hill: There was another young woman in the group that came up to her after this prayer time and said to her jan, you know that airplane we prayed for this morning? I believe that has something to do with you! Maybe a relative or somebody you know? And jan was thinking I don't know anybody who flies, umm, I don't know who. Well I have a cousin you know who's on an aircraft Carrier in the pacific.
Sid Roth: Of course it has something to do with her because they ended up getting married! She described exactly at the exact time she was praying for the man that would be her husband! You would think they would have a marriage made in heaven! But they had 7 years of the type of turmoil that many of you have had. And it's about time that you have supernatural help to have a marriage made in heaven and relationships that are pleasing to God! You see the Messiah said 'this is my commandment that you love one another!' and there's someone to try to disrupt that so you can't accomplish your destiny. Don't go away! You're going to find out some tremendous supernatural keys to supernatural relationships. Be right back!
Sid Roth: Hello! Sid Roth here with Craig Hill. What a title, Craig! 'two fleas & no dog: transform your marriage from fleadom to freedom'. What are you talking about?
Craig Hill: Well for years I threatened to write a book by that title, Sid, and the reason is I found so many people before they get married are like a flea. Now the flea is an animal that is looking for a host animal like a dog it can alight off of and just get all its needs met. Emotionally. Physically. And all kinds of ways. And I found out that many, many people when they get married did not realize that when they married they actually were a flea! Because after they get married they're thinking 'Where's The Dog?' where's that person that was so kind to me? So nice to me that I liked being with so much. And after they get married what happens is they find out the other person, the person they married, actually they thought you were the dog! They thought you were the one that they were going to be drawing all the life from and what's actually happened is the people that have gotten married, and this is true in many cases, we now have 2 fleas and no dog. Both trying to suck the life out of each other and of course no fleas have any life!
Sid Roth: And for 7 years that's what happened in your life.
Craig Hill: It really did happen in my marriage! I didn't realize I was a flea, Sid, when I got married. You know what my experience of marriage was in the first 7 years? I felt like jan, my wife, was frequently unhappy with me. She was irritated with me. She was angry with me and I felt like I was just displeasing to her in so many ways. And I tried everything I knew to do to please her unsuccessfully, couldn't understand why.
Sid Roth: But then you understood supernatural communication and you found there are two levels of communication.
Craig Hill: That was a breakthrough, huge breakthrough in our marriage when I discovered that there's sort of a superficial level I've come to call the 'topical level of communication'. And underneath all topical communication is what I call 'relational communication'. Now topical are issues that we discuss in marriage for example where are we going to live? What cars are we going to drive? How are we going to discipline our children? Our sexual relationship. This is topical communication. But underneath all of that is relational communication which are messages we send to one another in the realm of identity regarding 'value'. Meaning without realizing it we're sending messages to other people all the time. You are worthless or you 're valuable"! And what I find happens in a marriage is without realizing it husbands and wives are sending a message back and forth to each other 'you're valuable' or 'you're worthless' and they don't realize it and they don't know it!
Sid Roth: Well let's take a look at this right now. A real life situation. Let's go to that state fair right now.
Sid Roth: Now that is supernatural miscommunication! Let's see what's going to happen if it's done right!
Sid Roth: Now I like that! I like happy endings! And that's the way it's supposed to be. But my guest Craig Hill says when you're involved in these type of relationship, it was relation, not topical. There was even a better way to handle it.
Craig Hill: Yeah. You know what I found Sid is that everybody wants to be made to feel valuable. Husband wants to be valuable. Wife wants to be valuable. Here's the problem. The problem is I don 't know and didn't know for 7 years what would make my wife feel valuable! She didn't know what would make me feel valuable so we did the wrong thing and stumbled into situations like that all the time. This poor man's just trying to take his girls to the state fair and yet finds his wife accusing him. Why? He sent her a message you have no value and didn't know he sent her that message! Now I believe there is something supernatural behind that that promotes that kind of thing where people don't realize it. And then she sent him back a message you 're worthless, you have no value and she didn't know she was doing that! And so what does make a woman feel valuable? Those are the supernatural keys that I've found that I wrote in the book. What makes a woman feel valuable! What makes a man feel valuable! And is it possible for us to convey those things on a relational level which changes everything.
Sid Roth: And the thing that I saw in that is that if that ending hadn't changed that couple was headed towards divorce! Don't go away! We're about ready to see some keys to supernatural communication! Be right back!
Sid Roth: Sid Roth here with Craig Hill. Most people are being set up for disaster in their relationships! There is supernatural help to destroy whether it's a husband and wife, whether it's a mother and a daughter or a father and a son, whatever that, or just at work there's supernatural help to destroy relationships. Craig, you saw a movie on the American revolution which literally gave you insight into what's going on in these relationships.
Craig Hill: Right. What I began to see, Sid, like we were saying earlier, after 7 years of marriage where I was struggling and didn't know what to do and I saw a movie and I began to get an insight. Now what it was it depicted the British you know Marching up the road to Concord and Lexington and here came the American militia out to meet them and I saw 2 rows of soldiers, you knowing standing facing each other with their weapons loaded and the two generals talking in between. Unbeknownst to anybody hiding over here in the bushes behind a little wall was an arms dealer. And this man didn't care about the British. He didn't care about the Americans. He just wanted to start a war so he could sell arms to both sides. So while no one was looking he shot and killed the second in command British officer who fell over dead and immediately the British general of course assumed the American colonists had done that, terminated negotiations and issued the command to his men 'fire!' which they did! The American general then of course issued a command to his men 'return fire!' which they did. And the war was on! We called that 'the shot heard around the world ' because it was the shot that started the revolution. Now I don't know if the movie was historically accurate but the part I got out of it is when I saw that God spoke to me and said 'that is exactly what's happening in your marriage all the time!' a war is being started and neither of you are starting it. And I discovered as I've talked to many couples through the years if I ask the husband, for example in the clip we saw in the very beginning, 'was it your intention to start this was war?' he would say absolutely not! I don't like it. It's very unpleasant. You say it to the wife 'was it your intention to start this was war?' absolutely not! I didn't plan it. And what people are not realizing is there really are demonic forces in the unseen realm that are working to destroy relationships through miscommunication. And the strategy is simply this. What if there is an arms dealer, hah, so to speak, in the supernatural realm that I can't see who uses me to speak to my wife a relational message that says you're worthless, I don't love you, you mean nothing to me, and I'm blind to it. I don't see it. I don't know it! How can I repent? Repent of what? I've done nothing wrong from my perspective!
Sid Roth: So you're saying this arms dealer in this movie is a 'type ' of the devil!
Craig Hill: Exactly! Is a 'type ' of the devil and demonic forces in the unseen realm whose purpose is to destroy relationships! You know an interesting thing, Sid? No man, no woman individually looked like God. But the Bible says a relationship between a man and woman in marriage looks like God and the devil hates anything that looks like God and I think works overtime to destroy marriage through this strategy of miscommunication!
Sid Roth: Okay. What are husbands looking for in a marital relationship?
Craig Hill: Well this was the key I discovered. Husbands want respect! The problem is a wife doesn't know what respect means. So I discovered respect to most husbands means 3 things. I want to be accepted. I want to be admired. And I want to be appreciated. What I've found is so many husbands are working hard especially in our present times in this environment to try to make ends meet and they're looking for one word from a wife: thank you! That's what we saw in the 'fireproof' clip. And what happens a wife doesn't know that. She doesn't realize that because what she's looking for is sort of an opposite thing. What makes a wife feel valuable is love, the Bible tells us. And the problem we have as husbands we don't know what love means in our wife's mind, in her idea. So I've found love to a woman means these 3 things. She wants to feel 'high priority'. She wants me to care about her feelings and when I hurt her she wants me to acknowledge it, take responsibility for it and repent and ask forgiveness.
Sid Roth: Tell me about that couple from Wisconsin, very briefly, that studied these principles and what happened to them.
Craig Hill: There was a couple that I ran into that had actually been divorced for some years living in separate cities who came to a conference we were doing, a covenant marriage retreat actually. And I don't even know how they got there. Somebody convinced them to come. They came in separate cars from separate locations. Sat literally in separate places in the meeting, not even with each other. And over the course of about 3 days as they discovered these principles and as God began to work supernaturally in their hearts they were restored in such a way that they learned how to convey love and respect or value to each other so much so that they fell in love with each other again and said we don't wanna be divorced or separated! We wanna be remarried and they were remarried to each other!
Sid Roth: Is there any problem between a husband and wife that know the Lord that cannot be solved by these supernatural principles?
Craig Hill: There really is not! What we've found...
Sid Roth: Hey! Did you hear that? There really is not!
Craig Hill: That's true!
Sid Roth: So don't give up! And young people, if they can get a hold of these principles it's time to have supernatural relationships with a supernatural God! Jesus!