Rick Warren - Struggle When Life Makes No Sense - Part 2
How do I go through struggles in my life, particularly when I’m struggling with God? When I’m angry at God, when I’m mad at God, when I’m disappointed with God, when I think God has let me down, when I’ve prayed and haven’t got an answer. That’s called a struggle, friends. I’ve gone through that struggle for years with a son who was mentally ill and then took his life. And I prayed for that healing every single day of my life. It was a struggle in my life. How do I deal with that? What should be my response to God, who did not answer that prayer? Now, you need to understand that the reason, the only reason, you can wrestle with God, as I said, is because God loves it and God loves you. God is not an apathetic God who just sets the world in motion and doesn’t care about how you feel. He cares deeply about how you feel and he loves you and he cares about you and he’s sympathetic and he’s not apathetic and he’s not detached.
In fact, the Bible says this, on the screen, 1 Peter 5:7, «Cast all your cares,» that’s worries, «on him because he cares for you». God is a caring God. And if God didn’t care about you, you couldn’t wrestle with him, you couldn’t struggle with him, you couldn’t argue with him. The very fact that God allows you to argue with him, and it’s all through the Bible, examples of this, is because God cares, because God loves you. When I’m in a struggle with God, when my prayers aren’t being answered, the first thing I do is this. Number one, tell God what I think is unfair or painful. I tell God what I think is unfair or painful. This is the start of a lament. I’m gonna teach you a form of praying that most Christians have no idea how to do. They only know how to do praise and thanksgiving. But this is how you argue with God: You tell God what you think is unfair or painful.
Now, remember, I said last week that a lament is actually a complaint. In fact, sometimes, when you read them in Psalms, it almost feels like a demand. Do something, God. Do something. I’ve given you some examples there that you can study on your own. I’m gonna read you a few out of the Bible, okay? Listen to this one. Here’s from Job, Job chapter 13. «I’ve lost all hope, so what if God kills me? I’m gonna state my case to him. Now, listen to my words, God, of explanation. I’m ready to state my case because I know I’m right. Are you coming to excuse me, God? Speak first, God, and I’ll answer. Or let me speak and you can answer me. What are my sins? What wrong have I done? What crimes have I charged with? Why do you avoid me? Why do you treat me like an enemy? Are you trying to frighten me? I’m nothing but a leaf. You’re attacking me like a piece of dry straw».
That’s a lament. I doubt you’ve ever talked to God that way, but it’s in the Bible, and that’s called a prayer of lament. Let me give you a couple of others. Here’s David. «How long, Lord, will you forget me? Forever? How long will you look the other way? How long must I struggle with the anguish in my soul, with the sorrow in my heart every day? How long will my enemies have the upper hand? Turn and answer me, Oh God. I trust in your unfailing love». See what a rapid change that is there at the end? We’ll come back. Just follow the pattern I just gave you. Here’s Jeremiah. «Lord, if I argued my case with you, you’d prove to be right. Yet, still, I must question you about matters of justice. Why are the wicked so prosperous? Why do dishonest people succeed? They don’t really care about you. But Lord, you know me, you see what I do. You know how much. I love you. How long will our land be dry? Animals and birds are dying because of the wickedness of our people who think you don’t really see what we’re doing».
See, hear the complaint in his voice? That’s an act of worship. Complaining about God is rebellion. Complaining to God is an act of worship. Here’s one named HeMan. Psalm 88, «My life is full of trouble and I’m nearly dead». This is a prayer to God. «I’m like a man with no strength. You have taken from my friends away from me and made them hate me». This is Psalm 88. «My eyes are weak from crying. Lord, I’ve prayed to you every day and I’ve called to you for help. Lord, why do you reject me? Why do you hide from me? I’ve been weak and dying since I was young. You’ve taken away my loved ones and friends, and darkness is my only friend». Let me just give you one more. Guy named Jehoshaphat, nickname «fatty» for short, I’m sure.
2 Chronicles 20. He’s the king of Israel and three enemy armies decide to gang up against Israel. They’re gonna be overwhelmed, they’re gonna be killed. And here’s what Jehoshaphat does. «Oh Lord, are you not the God who is in heaven? You roll over all the kingdoms of the nation, power and might are in your hand. No one can withstand you. And, oh God, did you not give us this land forever to the descendants of Abraham, your friend? But now three nations are trying to drive us out. Oh God, will you not judge them? We don’t have any power to face this vast army that’s attacking us. We don’t know what to do, but our eyes are upon you». Those three questions, «God,» he says, «are you not,» «God, did you not,» and, «God, will you not». He is talking about the pattern I’m giving you right now. He’s appealing to the character of God, he’s reminding God of his promises, and he’s asking God to do it again. That’s how you do a lament. So the first thing I do is I tell God what I think is unfair or painful.
Let me give you an example here. Psalm 142 on your outline. David says, «I call to the Lord for help; I plead with him. I bring all of my complaints to him; I tell him my troubles. When I’m ready to give up, he knows what I should do». Now, in a lament, the tone can be very different. You can lament out of anger, like some of these I just read. You can lament out of frustration. You can lament out of fatigue. «God, I am so tired and I’m sick and tired of being sick and tired». You can lament out of anger. You can lament out of a disappointment. You can lament out of fear. «I’m scared to death, God. Help me. I don’t know what’s gonna happen this week and I’m scared to death. Help».
Let me just ask you a very personal question. What are you tired of tolerating in your life? Whatever that is, you’re tired of tolerating it. You’ve been putting up with it, you’re tired. You need to turn that into a lament. You need to tell God what you think is unfair or what you think is painful. Now, here is the key, and you gotta get this or it won’t work. There are two keys to praying like I’m talking about right now, when you’re struggling with God. One of them is, you complain to God, not about God, not against God. Listen here, when Moses complained to God, God answered. When the people, children of Israel, complained, they got stuck in the desert. So there’s a right way and a wrong way to complain to God. What’s the right way? You do it in faith.
Here’s an example, Psalm 55:17. David says, «Evening and morning and at noon I utter my complaint and moan». Notice, he says I’m doing it three times a day. «I’m complaining to God three times a day». Notice, «And he hears my voice». That is complaining in faith. That’s lamenting in faith. I tell God what I think is unfair or painful in my life. Here’s the second thing you do if you wanna struggle with God and win. You want to struggle with God and be blessed the way Jacob was. I appeal to God’s nature. That’s «A» in «CARE». I appeal to God’s nature. And when you read the Psalms, you read David and other people complaining to God, and at the same time saying, «But you’re a good God and you’re a loving God. And, God, you’re kind. And, God, you’re fair, and I don’t like what’s going on, but, God, you see everything. And this isn’t good for me, but, God, you’re all powerful, so then help me». He appeals to God’s nature. God loves it when you do this.
When you say, «God, you know I’m out of work. God, you know I’m infertile. God, you know I wanna get married. God, you know,» and then you say, «And I know who you are, God. I know you’re a good God and I know you love me and I know you’re a just God and I know you’re fair and I know you see everything in my life and I know you’re all powerful,» and you appeal to the character of God. It’s a strong key to doing this. I put some more examples down there. Abraham, he’s arguing with God over Sodom and Gomorrah. He appeals to God. «You’re a fair God».
Moses complains to God and he appeals to God’s nature. David does it, Hezekiah does it. What a lot of these guys are doing is they say, «God, I look out and I see everything that’s going on and nothing’s really working right. Nothing’s working right in my nation. Nothing’s working right in my family. Nothing’s working right in my job. And, God, when I read the Bible and I hear about you’re good and you’re loving and you’re powerful, then help me with this. Help me. What’s happening to me doesn’t sound like something you would approve of. Are you not the great God? Did you not help people in the past? Will you not help me»? The same things Jehoshaphat said. I appeal to God’s nature. The third thing you do if you wanna win the struggle: I remind God of what he said. I remind God of what he has said in his Word. I remind him of his promises. God absolutely loves to be reminded of his promises.
God absolutely loves to be reminded of his promises. When my kids were little and they’d say, «Daddy, would you take us to Disneyland»? I’d say, «Oh, sure I will». Because I always say yes to everything, and then I never get around to doing it. «But Daddy, you promised. Daddy, you promised». You think I’m gonna turn that down? No way, Jose. Because I made a promise. So I’m gonna keep a promise because I’m a loving father. I may not have the time to do that, I may not want to do it, I may be so stinking sick of going to Disneyland, but we’re doing it because you promised. You can do that with your heavenly Father. You remind God of what he said. «God, you said».
I love it. Several times in the book of Jeremiah, Jeremiah goes, «God, now you’ve promised to do this and you’ve promised to do this and you promised to do this. If you don’t do this, you’re gonna look bad». He is appealing to God’s reputation, and that’s not just Jeremiah. I could give you dozens of examples that said, «God, if you don’t help us in this time, it’s really gonna look bad on your resume. People are gonna start saying, 'Well that God’s no God because he doesn’t help his people.'» And they would appeal to God’s promises. They would appeal, they would remind God of what he had said. This is exactly what Jacob did. He’s scared to death to go back home, to have this family reunion with his brother who wants to kill him. Would you be scared? And your brother, you’ve cheated your brother and he’s coming with 400 armed soldiers. Yeah, yeah. He’s scared to death. Says, «You gotta help me, God».
Genesis 32, «Then Jacob prayed, 'O Lord of my grandfather Abraham and my father, Isaac.'» And why is he doing this? He goes, «Look, you helped these people in the past, surely you gotta help me». He says, «'The God of my grandfather Abraham and the God of my father, Isaac, you told me, '» circle that, «'you told me to return to my land and my relatives, and you promised, '» circle that, «'to treat me kindly. I’m not worthy of all the faithless and unfailing love, '» that that you gave me, «'but O Lord, please rescue me from my brother, Esau. I’m afraid that he’s coming to kill me… But you promised to treat me kindly and, and to multiply my descendants…'» In other words, «How am I gonna have multiple descendants and be the father of a great nation if he kills me»? That isn’t gonna happen.
So, see the care here? I complain, I appeal, I remind God of what he said, and then the fourth thing I do in my lament is I express my total trust in God. And when you see David’s psalms, almost every psalm ends with, no matter how much he’s railed on God, he goes, «But I’m still gonna trust you. God, I don’t like this and I don’t like that and that didn’t turn out the way I wanted and that hasn’t happened right and my life hasn’t really been a bed of roses, but you know, God, I’m still gonna trust you». And I express my total trust in God, and this is what you end your prayer with you. Say, «Lord, I trust your goodness and I trust your wisdom and I trust your love and I trust your plan even in the bad things that happened that I don’t understand».
Let me give you two examples. Job 13:15. You know what happened in Job. He lost it all. He says, «Even though he,» talking about God, «though he slay me, yet I will trust in him». He said, «You know what? I don’t have it all figured out. My brain isn’t big enough to know why everything happens the way it does. But I tell you what. Even if God kills me, I’m still gonna trust him. Why? Because I know I’m going to heaven». So he says, «Even if he lets the cancer take my life, even if he lets me get hit in a car accident, I’m still gonna trust him. Why? Because he is God and I’m not».
I express my total trust in God. And the ultimate example of this is Habakkuk chapter 3, verses 17 to 19. «Even though the fig trees have no blossoms, and there are no grapes on the vine; even though the olive crop falls, it fails, and the fields lie empty and are barren; and even though the flocks die in the field, and the cattle in the barns are empty, the cattle barns are empty,» I mean they’re in a terrible drought, terrible depression, «yet I will still rejoice in the Lord! I will be joyful in the God of my salvation. The Sovereign Lord is my strength»!
Now, you listen to me very closely. The way you win a fight with God is by surrendering because there’s no way you’re gonna win it on your own power. The way you win a struggle with God is by surrendering. We’re gonna talk about that next week, I surrender all my unanswered questions, and in return I get the blessing of God on my life and I sense his presence and I feel his love and I know he cares. And I depend on him, and he gives me comfort and he gives me power that I don’t have on my own. The only way you’re gonna win in the struggle of life is give up control. The most dangerous disease you can have is the illusion that you’re in control. You’re not. And as long as you think you are, you’re gonna have one struggle after another. You’re not in control of your marriage. You’re not in control of your kids. You’re not in control of the weather. You’re not in control of the economy. You’re not even in control of what kind of disease you get in your life. The greatest things in your life are out of your control.
So what I do about the stuff that I can’t control? I give them to a person who does have the power to control them. God, you’re in control and I know you care, and because you care, I’m gonna complain and I’m going to appeal and I’m gonna remind you of your promises. But I’m gonna expect and entrust, and I’m gonna express my trust in you, and I’m going to declare my declaration of dependence. The last of the story, the story of Jacob, ends in verse 31 of Genesis 32. It says this. «So the sun rose,» this is after this big wrestling match. «So the sun rose as Jacob left Peniel, and he was limping because of his hip».
Do you remember when they were in that wrestling match? It says that God reached over and touched his hip and pulled it out of socket. What is the significance, what’s the symbolism in that? Your hip, your thigh muscle, is the strongest muscle in your body. It’s the biggest muscle and it’s the strongest muscle in your body. God is gonna touch you at the place of your greatest strength. So you’re gonna limp the rest of your life as a reminder to depend on him, not your own strength. Jacob had a history of running. He ran from responsibility, he ran from the messes he made, he ran from the struggles he created, he ran, ran, ran. He constantly ran. God said, «We’ll fix that. You’re gonna limp the rest of your life».
No more running for Jacob. What have you been running from your entire life? See, after you wrestled with God, he blesses you, but he gives you a reminder to depend on him the rest of your life, and you’re gonna walk with a limp the rest of your life. All of God’s giants walk with a limp. Let’s bow our heads. Before I pray, let me ask you to consider some questions. In what areas are you struggling with God? Are you struggling with God about your finances? Are you struggling with God about your health? Are you struggling with God about an unrealized dream, an unanswered prayer? Are you struggling with God about something that hasn’t turned out the way you wanted it to turn out?
Question number two: Where have you been afraid to give up control? You say, «Look, it isn’t working. I’ve been trying to manipulate it, I’ve been trying to make it happen. I’ve been trying to plan it, program it, work around, scheme, it ain’t working. I’m gonna give up control to God».
Question number three: Where have you doubted God’s wisdom? Well, you thought, no, I know you love me, Lord, but is this really the right thing? Is this really the right thing to do? Did you really say no sex outside of marriage? And you’ve doubted God’s wisdom. «Did you really say,» and you name your sin. Where do you need to admit what you really are? What do you need to admit about yourself when you can say to God, «God, I am Jacob. I am a manipulator. God, I am a control nut. I am a perfectionist. I am lazy. I am», then God can turn a Jacob into an Israel, into a prince of God, a princess of God. Follow me in this prayer as we close. And I want you to pray it no matter what campus you’re in, or if you’re watching online or in a small group or by yourself. Just say:
Dear God, you know all the things I struggle with: my fears, my weaknesses, my relationships. You know the regrets I struggle with. You know my addictions and compulsions and my temptations. And, God, today I’ve realized that all my other struggles are really rooted in my struggle with you. I have doubted your wisdom and I have tried to play God. And like Jacob, I’ve tried to manipulate things to feel more secure, but I realize that your blessing comes not from trying harder but in surrendering the things that I don’t understand and in surrendering the things that I can’t control to you. Thank you that you are a good God. Teach me to how to pray the prayer of lament. I thank you, God, that you care and you said cast your cares on you, for you care for me. So today, Jesus Christ, I give myself 100% to you. The good, the bad, the ugly, the disappointments, the shocks, the sorrows, the highs and the lows, the good and the bad. I give myself completely to you, Jesus Christ. I want you to be the Lord, the manager, of every area of my life. And I wanna live for you from this day forward. I wanna trust you. In Jesus’s name, amen.