Rick Warren - Struggle When Life Makes No Sense - Part 1
During this series on «Getting Through What You’re Going Through,» we are looking at the six stages of getting through the major things in life that we face, and we looked first at «Shock When Your World collapses,» and we looked at «Sorrow When You’ve Had a Major Loss». This weekend, we’re gonna look at «Struggle When Life Doesn’t Make Sense,» and then we’re gonna look at «Surrender,» «Sanctification,» and «Service» on the back end of «Getting Through What You’re Going Through». Now everybody struggles in life. Life is tough. Everybody agree with that? Life’s tough, and it’s tough because sin has broken everything in the world. When Adam and Eve sinned, God said this, there on your outline, Genesis 3:17: «Because you (sinned), all your life you will struggle». All your life you will struggle.
Now, nobody has to tell you that Bible verse. You know that one by personal experience. Life is a struggle. And life is a struggle three ways. We struggle with other people, we struggle with ourselves, and we actually struggle with God. First, we struggle with other people. And that means that every relationship is broken by sin. And because nothing works perfectly, we have competition, we have conflict, we have misunderstandings. You get disappointed by other people and other people are disappointed in you. One of the great guys in the Bible, Jacob, is an example of the struggles of life. In fact, Jacob’s entire life was a struggle. And I wrote there in your outline that he struggled with his brother. That was Esau who he stole his birthright and blessing. He struggled with two wives.
By the way, if you ever wanna read a case, why there shouldn’t be polygamy, go read Genesis chapter 30. By the way, let me just explain some of you. Not everything reported in the Bible is approved by God. Does that make sense? People say, «Well, polygamy is in the Bible. You know, slavery is in the Bible». Well, yeah, so is rape and murder. The Bible tells the truth and it tells the truth even about the sins of people. It doesn’t mean God condones these. In fact, God opposes. From the very beginning, God had said, «No, no, you should have one mate for life». But he had struggles with his wives. He had struggles with his in-laws, they were jealous, they cheated each other. He had struggles with his 12 sons, very dysfunctional family because of favoritism.
Mommy liked one and daddy liked another and the rest kind of got left off. But there was struggle with other people. Second, we struggle with ourselves. And your biggest battle in life really is not with other people. Your biggest battle is inside you. You struggle with your fears, you struggle with your flaws, you struggle with your temptations, you struggle with your insecurities. You struggle with guilt, you struggle with regret. We struggle with resentment, compulsions, weaknesses, sins, addictions. Jacob had this in spades. He was a very insecure person. He struggled with insecurities, he struggled with manipulating other people. He struggled with his conscience constantly.
Paul in Romans 7 talks about this kind of struggle we have with ourselves. He says, «I don’t understand myself at all, for I really wanna do what’s right, but I don’t do it. Instead, I do the very thing I hate and no matter which way I turn, I can’t make myself do right. I want to, but I can’t. But there is a law at work within me that is at war with my mind». Now, everybody here can identify with that passage. We often want to do things that we don’t do, and we often don’t do the things that we know are right to do. And we struggle not just with other people, we struggle with ourselves. But the greatest struggles in life of all are the ones that you and I have with God. We struggle with God all the time, whether you realize it or not. In fact, most of your struggles with other people and most of your struggles with yourself are rooted in the struggle that you have with God.
Now, why do we struggle with God? Well, there are really two reasons. One, we doubt his wisdom and therefore, two, we wanna be in control. Whenever you doubt God’s wisdom, then you wanna be God because you think you know better than God does. You think you know what will make you happy more than God does. When God says, «Don’t do that,» you say, «Well, I think that would make me happy,» and you do it anyway. You know, growing up, my kids have never doubted my love. They’ve always known that I love them, but often they have doubted my wisdom. They say, «I know Dad loves me, I just don’t think he knows the right thing in this situation». And for a lot of you, you’ve had that with your heavenly Father. You know God loves you. There’s no doubt in your mind that God loves you. But sometimes you just doubt his wisdom.
Why did he allow that? And why did that happen? And why did he say no to this? And why isn’t this prayer being answered? And you’re actually doubting God’s wisdom. Now, Jacob of all people demonstrates struggling with God. In the book of Hosea chapter 12, verse 3, it says: «As a man Jacob struggled with God». As a baby, he actually struggled with his brothers. In fact, the Bible says that when his mother, Rachel, was pregnant, that the two twins, Jacob and Esau, were fighting inside the womb. That would have been a fun lunch for the mom. And they fought, but he says, «As a man Jacob struggled with God,» and he actually had a wrestling match with God. The only person to ever have this. You talk about WWF wrestling, this one takes the cake.
In Genesis chapter 32, here’s Jacob’s wrestling match: «Now, Jacob sent his family across the Jabbok River but he stayed behind, alone. And that night, a Man came and wrestled with him until daybreak». Now let me set this story up. Jacob cheated his brother Esau, his twin brother, out of his blessing from the family and birthright. So he got the inheritance and his brother Esau had intended to kill him. And so Jacob ran away to another part of the country and married his uncle’s daughter, Rachel, and then also married Leah, and lived there for at least 14 years, maybe close to 2 decades. And after a while, God says to Jacob, «Jacob, I want you to go home, back to where you were born,» and he is regretting because he knows that his brother wants to kill him.
On the way, going back home, Jacob with his whole family, they’re very large now. He’s got servants, he’s got cattle, he’s got sheep. He’s very, very wealthy. He hears that his brother Esau is heading toward him with 400 armed men. This is not a happy family reunion. He’s scared to death. And yet he knows God has told him to go home to his home country. And yet he knows when he goes back, «my brother had said he wants to kill me because I’ve stolen from him». And so when he gets to the Jabbok River, Jacob sends his family on ahead and he stays behind. He’s splitting it up, so his family doesn’t get hurt in this encounter he’s gonna have the next day. So Jacob goes to the Jabbok River and he wrestles with God.
Now, actually, in Hebrew, this is a pun because the word for Jacob is Yabok. Yabok, and the word for wrestling is yabek and the word for the Jabbok River is Yabak. So what we’ve got here is we got Yabok, yabek, Yabak. Jacob wrestles God at the Jabbok River. Now, Jacob’s been running from God all his entire life and some of you have been too. You’ve been running from God your entire life. God says, «Jacob, you’re not gonna run anymore. So we’re gonna settle this issue right now. We’re gonna have a little wrestling match. We’re going to the mat». And the Bible says that that night while he’s alone there on that side of the Jabbok River, he meets this man and the man is clearly an angel or representing God. God shows up. And it says, «When the Man saw,» he starts wrestling Jacob, «that he wasn’t winning the struggle, he hit Jacob on the hip, and it was thrown out of joint. And the Man said, 'Let me go; daylight is coming.' And Jacob said, 'I won’t let go until you bless me.'»
Now, notice it says the Man said he wasn’t winning the struggle. Have you ever been in a no-win struggle? Yeah? You may be in right now. There’s some things in your life, they’re just not gonna change and you’re gonna have those problems the rest of your life. You have to manage them. They’re not gonna go away. They’re lifetime problems. It may be a health problem, may be a relational problem. It may be a disability, but there’s some problems that are just never going away in your life and they’re unmanageable and you can’t win in that situation. Now, it says here that the Man said he wasn’t winning the struggle. Now, if Jacob is wrestling God, clearly, God could have overcome him instantly. I mean, clearly, in this wrestling match between God and Jacob, Jacob, it’s kind of a tie. So what is going on here? God could have easily overwhelmed him, but he lets the struggle go on. Very important lesson for you right here. Why? Because God loves it when you wrestle with him.
God loves it when you wrestle with him. Some of you are in a struggle right now with God. God loves it when you struggle with him. Why? Because the opposite of struggling with God is walking away from God. The opposite of struggling with God is running away, is avoiding, is saying, «Forget you, God». God would rather have you fighting him than fleeing him. Does that make sense? So God loves it when we struggle with God, say, «God, that’s not right,» when we argue with God, «God, I don’t like that». God says that’s okay. Why? Because wrestling is a face-to-face encounter. Wrestling is the most intimate sport. I wrestled in high school. You didn’t wanna watch that. It wasn’t nice. It wasn’t pretty. And then the whole goal of wrestling is to pin a guy down until he finally goes, «Uncle, I give up, you’re in control».
Wrestling is all about who’s in control and it’s about as intimate a sport as you can get because you’re just locked in that issue. And God says, «I like that. I like that when you wrestle with me because at least I’ve got your attention. I love you». And so he’s letting this struggle go on, even though he could have just instantly ended it. He’s letting Jacob think he is winning. But Jacob goes, «I’m not gonna let go until you bless me». Now, «The Man,» this represents God, «asks, 'What is your name? '» That’s a strange question in the middle of a wrestling match. «'What’s your name? ' 'Jacob, ' he replied. The Man said, 'You will no longer be Jacob because you have struggled with God and with men and you’ve won; so your name will be Israel.'»
Now, what’s going on here? They’re having this wrestling match. God is wrestling Jacob. Jacob’s been a runner. He’s been trying to get away from God his entire life and running from responsibility and he says, «What’s your name»? Now, one of the things you know about God is this: Whenever God asks you a question, he already knows the answer. He wants you to know the answer. God knew what Jacob’s name was. God had never missed a day of Jacob’s life. God created Jacob, but he says what he wants Jacob to do is to admit who he is. Because in those days, names meant something. You were named for your character. It was your brand, it was your label. And Jacob literally means deceiver. It means supplanter. It means manipulator.
Jacob had gone his entire life, manipulating everybody, trying to get things to go his way, trying to control everything, trying to control his brother, trying to control his family, trying to control his uncle, trying to control his wives, trying to control his children. Jacob was a manipulator. And when God says to Jacob, «What’s your name»? he’s saying, «Jacob, do you realize you’re the problem? The reason we’re in this struggle is you, because you won’t give up. You still keep trying to control everything in your life and you’re making a mess of everything in your life because you’re trying to control it and that’s why you’re struggling». Jacob says, «My name is Deceiver. My name is Manipulator».
I just wonder if every one of us had to go, our name was our primary sin. What would your name be? Hm. «Hi, what’s your name»? «Greedy». «Really? Well, I’m Lustful. Glad to meet you,» okay? «What’s your name»? «Gossip». «What’s your name»? «Insecure manipulator». That would be Jacob. That would be Jake. If you had to be named for your number one sin and everywhere you went in life, «What’s your name»? «Lazy». Well, this is exactly what’s going on here. He’s asking Jacob to admit his biggest fault. Now, the thing I like about Jacob is this: Jacob is willing to struggle. He doesn’t run away from God. He hangs in there. He stayed, he doesn’t walk from God. He knows what he wants. He goes, «I wanna be blessed. I’m not gonna let go until you bless me, God».
Have you ever said that to God? Have you ever said that to God? «God, I’m not gonna let go until you bless me. I’m gonna struggle with you until you bless me». He is persistent and he knows what he wants and even admits that he’s the problem. «I’m Jacob, I’m a manipulator. I’m a deceiver. I’m a control freak and I’ve tried to control everything in my life and it’s caused conflict with everybody in my life, parents, family, friends, daughters, husbands, everybody». And God says, «You know what? You’ve struggled with me well in this, and you’ve won». I want you to circle that on your outline, «You have won,» because we’re gonna come back: how to win an argument with God, in just a minute. «You struggled with God and you have won».
God has never said that about anybody else and there’s some real important lessons to learn here. And he says, «So your name will be Israel. You’ll be named Israel». This is the man of whom the Israel nation is named after, the Jews. So he’s given a new idea, a new identity. By the way, do you know what Israel means? It has two meanings. Israel means, number one, it means struggles with God. That’s what Israel means: struggles with God. And if you know the history of Israel, they have struggled with God for millennia. Struggles with God. But it also has a secondary meaning. It means a prince with God, you’re now a prince with God. And God says to Jacob, «You used to be a manipulator, but now you’re gonna be a prince. You used to be a deceiver, but now you’re gonna be a leader».
This whole struggle with God changes his identity. Now, why is that important? Because when God wants to work in you, God does his deepest work in your life, in your identity. When he can change the way you see yourself, it changes you. Anything you wanna change in your life, it starts with change in perspective. And until God changes the way you see yourself, nothing’s gonna much happen in your life. You’re gonna struggle the rest of your life. Now, if I were to ask you fill in this sentence ten times: «It’s just like me to be…» It’s just like me to be. How would you finish that sentence? Well, it’s just like me to always be late. It’s just like me to be insecure. It’s just like me to get angry at the spur of a moment. It’s just like me to feel inferior to everybody. It’s just like me to run off at the mouth. Then you’re telling me what your identity is.
And if you’re gonna get through the struggle with God, God’s gonna have to change your identity from Jacob to Israel, from whatever your sin is to prince or princess of God. Now, as a result of this wrestling match, it says then: «Then God blessed him there. So Jacob called the place Peniel, saying, 'It’s because I saw God face to face, and yet my life was spared.'»
Now, this is a very important story in the Bible because it teaches us how to wrestle with God and win. I think you need to know this one. Now, the Bible tells us that every one of the stories in scripture are there to teach us how to have a better relationship with God. And this is no exception to the rule. So let’s look at how do I go through struggles in my life, particularly when I’m struggling with God, when I’m angry at God, when I’m mad at God, when I’m disappointed with God, when I think God has let me down. When I’ve prayed and haven’t got an answer, that’s called a struggle, friends. I’ve gone through that struggle for years with a son who was mentally ill and then took his life, and I prayed for that healing every single day of my life. It was a struggle in my life. How do I deal with that? What should be my response to God who did not answer that prayer?
Now, you need to understand that the reason, the only reason, you can wrestle with God, as I said, is because God loves it and God loves you. God is not an apathetic God who just sets the world in motion and doesn’t care about how you feel. He cares deeply about how you feel, and he loves you and he cares about you and he’s sympathetic and he’s not apathetic and he’s not detached. In fact, the Bible says this, on the screen, 1 Peter 5:7. I want us to read this aloud together. Read it with me: «Cast all your cares on him for he cares for you». Now, what word is used twice in that verse? «Cares». «Cast all your cares,» that’s worries, «on him because he cares for you».
God is a caring God. And if God didn’t care about you, you couldn’t wrestle with him, you couldn’t struggle with him, you couldn’t argue with him. The very fact that God allows you to argue with him and it’s all through the Bible, examples of this, is because God cares, because God loves you. Now, last week I mentioned to you that the Bible talks about a kind of prayer called a lament. And most people don’t know how to lament. A lament is a passionate complaint to God. God doesn’t want you just to praise him; God wants you to lament to him. God doesn’t want you just to confess to him; God wants you to complain to him. It’s an act of worship when you complain to God. It’s an act of rebellion when you complain about God.
Now I covered this a little bit last week, and said that, you know, the Bible is full of laments. In fact, there’s an entire book called Lamentations and it is the whole book is basically just Jeremiah complaining to God about why life sucks. And that’s what it’s all about. And a lot of people, if you start reading through the Psalms, there are 150 psalms, they’re not all praise and thanksgiving. In fact, 65 of them are laments. They are complaints to God. This last week, I went through and I did an intensive study of all the laments of the Bible. And I discovered there’s a pattern. Whether it’s David or Abraham or Jeremiah or Moses or Elijah or Isaiah or anybody else, and they’re complaining to God, there is a pattern that you see in every one of them and this pattern is the pattern you use to successfully argue with God. Are you ready for this? You need this.
This is a form of prayer and to help you remember it, I want you to remember how much God cares about me. I put it in a little acrostic, C-A-R-E. So write these down, C-A-R-E. Here’s the pattern, then we’ll look at it. This is the pattern of lament in the Bible. First, the «C» stands for Complain. So if I’m gonna have a lament prayer, I don’t like what’s going on in my life and I wanna complain about it, I wanna lament about it, first thing I do is I complain. And you’ll find that in many of the laments of the Bible, they’re usually, the complaints are usually in the form of a question. God, why are you allowing this? God, why don’t you do something? God, when are you gonna answer my prayer? How long, God, is this gonna take? What in the world are you doing, while our people are falling apart? And the complaints often take the form of a question.
That’s the first thing. The second, the «A» in «CARE» stands for Appeal. And the second thing I do is I appeal to God’s nature. We’re gonna come and explain this in a minute. I appeal to God’s character and who he is, his attributes. It’s the character, the nature of God. «R» stands for Remind. I complain, I appeal, I remind. This is the third in the pattern. I remind God of his promises. I remind God of his truth. I remind God of what he said. I remind God of his reputation. And «E,» I Express trust in God’s wisdom and the things that I don’t understand. I express trust. Now, no matter who it is in the Bible, when they are complaining and they are lamenting to God, they follow this pattern. I could take you through proverbs and psalms and prayers all through scripture of complaining, appealing, reminding, expressing. Now, remember I said last week that a lament is actually a complaint. Listen to this one.
Here’s from Job, Job chapter 13: «I’ve lost all hope, so what if God kills me? I’m gonna state my case to him. Now, listen to my words, God, of explanation. I’m ready to state my case, because I know I’m right. Are you coming to excuse me, God? Speak first, God, and I’ll answer. Or let me speak, and you can answer me. What are my sins? What wrong have I done? What crimes am I charged with? Why do you avoid me? Why do you treat me like an enemy? Are you trying to frighten me? I’m nothing but a leaf; you’re attacking a piece of dry straw». That’s a lament.