Rick Warren - Becoming Best Friends With God
Your relationship to God has many aspects. God is your Father. He is your Creator. He is your Maker. He’s your Judge. He’s your Master. He’s your Lord. He’s your Redeemer. He’s your Savior. And he’s many, many other things, but most shocking of all is this. God wants you for a friend. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa whoa, whoa whoa, God wants me for a friend? Yes, he does. The Bible says in James chapter 4, verse 8: «Draw close to God, and he’ll draw close to you». It’s just pretty simple. You draw close to God and he will draw close to you. Now, when we wanna know what God’s relationship is like, we need to go back to the very beginning of time and look at the original ideal relationship in Eden, because when God created Adam and Eve, they enjoyed this incredibly close intimate friendship with God.
There was no religion, there were no rituals, there were no rules except don’t eat of that one tree. That was the only rule. Said, «You can do anything else. Just one rule». No regulations, no all of the rigmarole that you find in so many religious things today. It was just a friendship. And the Bible says that Adam and Eve delighted in God and he delighted in them. That’s the way God wants to have the relationship with you. It was just a simple loving relationship and they were made to live in God’s presence continually and you were made to live in God’s presence continually. But that ideal got ruined by sin.
But then Jesus changed the situation, oh man, radically. And when he died on the cross and paid for our sins, the Bible says that the veil between the Holy of Holies and the outer court, the holy place, was ripped from the top to the bottom, symbolizing that the separation between God and man that had been going on for hundreds and hundreds and thousands of years was no longer there, that Jesus had built a new bridge, and now there was no separation between us and God and everybody had access. The Bible says it like this. There on your outline, Romans chapter 5, verse 10 and 11: «We were restored to friendship». Circle that. «We were restored to friendship with God by the death of his Son while we were still his enemies, so we will certainly be delivered from eternal punishment by his life. Now we can rejoice in our wonderful new relationship with God».
You notice, it’s a new relationship. They didn’t have this in the Old Testament. They didn’t get to do what you get to do. «All because of what our Lord Jesus Christ has done for us in making us,» circle this, «friends of God»! «All because of what the Lord Jesus Christ has done for us in making us friends of God»! You can’t buy friendship with God. You can’t earn friendship with God. You can’t be good enough to have friendship with God. You can’t bribe God or bargain with God or berate God. You can’t do anything to have a friendship with God except this: receive God’s gift, which was paid for by Jesus Christ, the forgiveness of your sins, the restoration of a relationship. It’s God’s grace and Jesus’s sacrifice.
And Jesus says this in John 15:15: «I no longer call you servants. Instead, I call you friends»! Do you realize how radical that is for the God of the universe to say, «I want you for my friend»? Let that sink in for a minute. The God who created the entire galaxy say, «I want you for my friend». Now this word here where Jesus says, «I don’t call you servants anymore. I call you my friends». That word in the Greek is not just a casual acquaintance word. It means a deep, close, personal, intimate comrade. It’s the word used for a best man at a wedding. Your best man, the guy you depend on the most. It’s the same word used to refer to the king’s inner circle where the king has lots of acquaintances and thousands, maybe millions, of subjects, but he’s got a few close friends and these are intimate, trusted friends.
Now, in a royal court, if you walk in a royal court, you’re gonna go see a queen or king or something like that, you have to keep your distance. You don’t get to just walk up to any king or queen and just talk to them. You have to keep a certain number of feet back, you have to bow, you have to do protocol, etiquette, and all these kind of things. I’ve actually met a few kings and queens in my life, and it’s pretty formal because that’s how most people react. But if you were in the inner circle, you were one of the king’s friends, you enjoy close contact, direct access, and confidential information.
Some of you remember the old hymn, «What a friend we have in Jesus». Well, actually, God invites you not just to be the friend of Jesus, but of the Holy Spirit and the Father. He invites you to be a friend of the Trinity. Now, how important is this to God? Let me show you a couple of verses. Exodus 34:14: «He is a God who is passionate about his relationship with you». Did you know that God gets jealous? The Bible says God gets jealous when we give our lives to other things, when we put other gods in our lives, the god of money, the god of sex, the god of success, the god of popularity, the god of pleasure. It could be any God. He said that breaks God’s heart because God is passionate about his relationship with you.
Hosea 6:6, God says this: «I don’t want your sacrifices, I want your love; I don’t want your offerings, I want you to know me»! Can you hear the passion in that verse? Again, this is hard to grasp. Circle the word «love» and circle the word «know». Those are the two first purposes of your life: to know and love God. If you miss that, you miss the number one purpose in your life because God did not put you on this planet to just do stuff, to just mark things off your to-do list. God put you on this planet to know and love him, to have a relationship with him. And if you miss that relationship, you miss that friendship, you miss the very purpose for which you were created. Nothing is more important than that.
The Bible says it like this in Acts 17: «Starting from scratch, God made the entire human race and he made the earth hospitable». What it means: It means we can live on it. He made the earth livable. We got oxygen, we got water, we got it light, we got everything we need. «He made the earth hospitable,» for human beings, «with plenty of time and space for living». Why? Look: «So we could seek after God, and not just grope around in the dark but actually find him»! That is God’s number one plan and purpose for your life. Now, how in the world is this possible? I mean, we’re visible, God’s invisible; we’re weak, God’s omnipotent; we’re imperfect, he’s perfect. How does a flawed, finite creature have a friendship with an unflawed, perfect, omnipotent, invisible God? How does that happen? Well, there’s only one way: through Jesus.
Maybe you’ve known about God all your life. How do you build that friendship? Number one, write this down. Make knowing God my number one priority. You’re never going to become a friend of God in your spare time. You make knowing God your number one priority. My number one priority in life. Jesus said, «Seek first the kingdom of God». It doesn’t matter how many things I accomplish or what happens in my life that seems to be good, how many windfalls that come into my life. Doesn’t matter. If at the end of the day, I don’t know God a little bit better and love him a little bit more, I missed the purpose of that day. I make it the number one priority of my life.
Paul says it like this: «Everything else is worthless compared with the priceless gain of knowing Christ Jesus. I’ve discarded everything else. I count it all as garbage, so that I may know Christ». I make it my number one priority. Jeremiah 29:13: God says, «You will find me,» when? «You will find me when you seek me,» when? «With all your heart». Are you doing that? Let me just ask you, one on one. Are you doing that? Are you seeking God with all your heart every day? Not likely. You’re gonna become a friend of God when you wanna become a friend of God.
Write this down: «I’m as close to God as I choose to be». You can’t blame anybody else. You can’t blame your wife, your husband, your parents, your kids, you can’t blame… You are as close to God as you wanna be. And if you feel far from God, guess who moved? You didn’t make it the number one priority of your life. «You will find me when you seek me with all your heart». Knowing and loving God is our greatest privilege and being known and being loved by God is our greatest pleasure. Here’s what God says, Jeremiah 9. Look up here on the screen. God says, «The wise must not brag about their wisdom, and the strong must not brag about their strength, and the rich must not brag about their money. But if somebody wants to brag, let him brag that he really understands and knows me». Why? Because that’s what life is all about.
Have you ever bragged by the fact that you’re a friend of God? Hey, me and God, we’re like this. You know, we’re close, we’re buds, we’re friends. Knowing God is what matters most and there’s nothing more important than that relationship in your life. Now, how do you know when God is not your best friend? How do you know when you don’t really know God? Well, Jesus said in Matthew 6 that the secret or the symbol or the characteristic, the concluding mark of a person who doesn’t know God, Jesus said in Matthew 6, is this: Worry. When you worry, it means you don’t know God at that moment. You’ve forgotten who he is, what he said, what he’s promised to do in your life. You’re acting like you’re an atheist. You’re acting like there is no God. You’re acting like it all depends on you. Every time you’re worrying, every time you worry, you’re saying. «Oh, I don’t really know God at this moment. He’s not my friend».
I have to make it my number one priority. Number two, second key to building a deep relationship with God: Slow down and be quiet. Slow down and be quiet. Our friendship with God is like any other friendship. You have to make time for it. If you don’t make time for your human friends, they’re not your friends. You make time for your friends. And if God is gonna be your best friend, you’ve gotta give your best time to God. The Bible says this. You’ve seen these verses many times. Psalm 46:10: «Be still,» that means just slow down, «and know that I am God». You need to have a daily quiet time with God. «Be still and know that I’m God». Psalm 25:14: «Friendship with the Lord is reserved for those who reverence him. With them he shares the secrets of his covenant». «Friendship with God is reserved for those who reverence him».
You sit down, you slow down, you be quiet, and you spend time with God. What would a friend be if you never spent any time with 'em? Not a friend. You will never have God as your best friend, if all you do is just come to church services. You’ve got to just be quiet, be still, and you get out and you sit down and you just read God’s Word and you listen and say, «God, is there anything you want to say to me»? The Bible says it like this, Matthew 6:5-6: «When you come before God, don’t turn it into a theatrical production». I love this, The Message Paraphrase. «Just find a quiet, secluded place where you won’t be tempted to role-play before God. And just be there as simply and as honest as you can manage. And the focus will shift from you to God». That’ll lower your stress, «And you will begin to sense his grace».
Make knowing God my number one priority and then slow down and be quiet. Number three, key to a friendship with God: Decide whose friendship you want most. You don’t have time for everybody to be your friend. And if everybody else is gonna be your friend, you’re not gonna have time for God in your life. You’ve got to decide who you want most to be your best friend. Let me show you a verse on the screen. 1 Timothy chapter 6 says this: «Some people have missed the most important thing in life, they don’t know God». How in the world could anybody miss a fellowship and a relationship with God when he says, «This is what I made you for and this is what I want». How in the world do you miss it? Real simple. Care about something else more. That’s why you’re not a friend of God, you care about something else more and you’re missing the relationship that you were designed for with your Creator.
Now, the Bible gets very specific. Look at this, James chapter 4: «You should know that loving the world is the same thing as hating God». What’s that mean? «Anyone who wants to be a friend of the 'world' becomes an enemy of God». Now, I don’t understand this. It tells me here that I’m not supposed to love the world. And yet in John 3:16, the most famous verse, it says, «God so loved the,» what? So which one is it? Okay, am I supposed to love the world or not love the world? «God so loved the world». But it tells me here that if I love the world, I become the enemy of God. It’s the meaning of the word «world». In John 3:16, he’s talking about the people in the world, and in this passage and in 1 John 2:16, he’s talking about the value system of the world.
Now God says, «I want you to love the people and hate the value system». You know what the problem is? We do the exact opposite. We love the value system and we hate the people. We love materialism, we love pleasure, we love popularity, we love prestige, we love passion, possessions, position. We love all the values of the world and we hate the people. God says, «No, you got it all backwards». And he says that «if you want to be my friend, friends value what friends value. If you’re gonna be my friend, if I’m gonna be your friend, then I have to value what’s valuable to you, what’s important to you becomes important to me», why? «Because you’re my friend, because I’m your friend». And if you’re gonna be a friend of God, then you’ve got to care about what God cares about and not care about what God doesn’t care about.
Jesus said in John 15:14: «You are my friends if you obey me». Now, what does that mean? Well, let me clarify this. I can’t say I love Jesus and then go live like the devil. I can’t say, «Oh, I’m a Christian,» and then live a self-centered life. I can’t say, «Oh, I’m a follower of Jesus,» and then pick and choose the verses that I wanna listen to and ignore the ones I don’t. Jesus says, «You’re my friend if you obey me, if you obey my commandments». Now, why do we obey God? Nonbelievers get this wrong all the time. And they look at Christians and they go, «Oh you are so restricted, and you have to obey God as a Christian. That’s why I don’t wanna be a Christian because I don’t want to obey God, and you obey him out of guilt or you obey him out of fear or you obey him out of obligation or you obey God out of duty».
No, I don’t do any of those things. Why do I obey God? Because he loves me. He loves me like none of you or anybody else will ever love me. He loved because he first loved us. And the Bible says the only reason there’s love in the world is because God is love. We obey God, not out of fear, not out of guilt, not out of obligation. We obey God out of love, because he loved us, because he saves us. Past forgiven, purpose for living, home in heaven. That’s why. John 15, look at this verse on the screen. Jesus says this: «I have loved you as the Father has loved me».
How does the Father love, God? Unconditionally, love Jesus. «When you obey me, you remain in my love, just as I remain in my Father’s love when I obey Him. I have told you this so that you’ll be filled with my joy. Yes, your joy will overflow»! He doesn’t say, «I want you to obey me because you’re scared to death of me, you’re afraid of punishment, and it’s gonna lead you to misery». He says, «I want you to obey me because it leads to love, because you love me and because I love you, and it’s gonna lead to joy». It’s the best way to live. When I think I know better how to live than God, I’m always in trouble.
Jesus modeled being, it’s number four. You gotta maintain a constant conversation. You gotta talk with God all the time about anything, everything, whatever you’re feeling, all day, 24 hours a day. You just have this running conversation with God. 1 Thessalonians 5:17 says this: «Pray all the time»! And I talk to God all the time, just like I’m talking to you. In fact, while I’m talking to you right now, I’m talking to him. Oh, you’ve never done that? If you carry on a conversation with yourself while you’re talking to somebody else, certainly, you can carry on a conversation with God while you’re talking to somebody else. And so while I’m talking to you, I’m talking to God at the same time. Philippians 3:10, Paul says this: «My determined purpose is that I may know Him, that I may progressively become more deeply and more intimately acquainted with Him, perceiving and recognizing and understanding the wonders of His person more strongly and more clearly». I love that in the Amplified. Maintain a constant conversation, talk to God all the time.
And number five, this is an important one if you’re gonna build a friendship with God. Trust God in your pain. Trust God in your pain. Every friendship, the bedrock of every friendship is trust. And that’s true with God too. You gotta trust him, and you gotta trust him when things don’t make sense, when things are backwards, when things are going sideways and when you’re going under and you think, «I’m going under for the last time». Psalm 55:22: «Cast all your cares on the Lord and he will sustain you; he will never let the righteous fall». Cast all your cares. Cast means not the, like, casting a line a long ways. It means just drop it. I don’t know what you’re going through right now, but I do know the answer: dump it, cast it. Cast all your cares on the Lord, for he cares for you. God actually lets you go through pain in order to draw you closer to him.
Pain is the fuel of passion. When you’re going through a tough time, all of a sudden your prayers get a whole lot more intense. Have you noticed that? When you’re in deep pain, you don’t just go, «Oh, our Father, how art thou today»? You’re going, «Help»! You cry out to God. Pain is the fuel of passion. It energizes us with intensity. We cry out and God says, «I’m gonna bring you closer to me». When Matthew died, I spent the better part of four months alone with either Kay, or with Kay and God, or just with God alone. And I would often spend hours a day just thinking, praying, listening, talking, month after month for about four months. You can’t spend that much time with God for four months and have it not change you. Unfortunately, I have the same personality, but it changed me on the inside.
And one of the things I learned is this: the more honest to God you are, the deeper your friendship will be. The more honest to God you are, the deeper your friendship will be. God can handle your frankness. He can handle your cries. He can handle your complaints. He can handle your accusations. As I told you that in the Psalms, 150 Psalms, a third of them are Psalms of lament. They’re saying, «God, life sucks. God, I don’t like it». And when God hears you complaining to him in your prayers, God says, «That’s not audacious, that’s authentic».
God can handle your honesty. You’re never gonna have a deep friendship with God till you’ve got gut-level honest about your fears, your faults, your flaws, your friends, and everything else. Doesn’t have to be fancy, doesn’t have to be flowery. I’m not a flowery prayer, but God says just be gut honest with me. And when you are hurting, tell me why, because it keeps you from becoming bitter. Bitterness is the number one enemy of friendship with God. Some of you just need admit, «God, I’ve been bitter, I’ve been angry, I’ve been hurt. I didn’t understand it». If you build a friendship with God, you got to trust him in your pain.