Peter Tan-Chi - Love Is Hard, Isn't It?
Today the topic is one simple word: Love is Action. 1 Corinthians 13 has 15 verbs about love, and I will explain that to you. So let’s begin by the introduction of what is most important. Many people do not understand what it means to be a spiritually mature person. There are seven myths of spirituality that I want to debunk. What do I mean? Many people think «I am spiritually mature if I have the following…» Number one, the myth of knowledge. Many people think, «If I have a lot of Bible knowledge, I’m spiritual». You know what the Bible says? «Knowledge makes you proud». (1 Corinthians 8:1) So knowledge does not equal spiritual maturity.
Some people say zeal. You know, «I’m zealous. I want to serve God». Excuse me. Zealousness does not mean you are spiritually mature. Activities. You know, some people are very busy. You volunteer here, you volunteer there, you’re an usher, you are serving God left and right. That does not mean you are spiritually mature. Some people think success. Look at my business. God must love me. I’m so mature. Look at my ministry. Look at my discipleship group. So many of them. Not exactly. What about position? Look at my position in the church. Just because you have a position does not mean you are spiritually mature. Many people strive for position. Spiritual gifts. Ah, what about sacrifice? Okay, I will show you that verse «If I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, but do not have love, I have become a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal». (1 Corinthians 13:1)
What Paul is saying, if you have the gift of communication, you’re so good in communicating, but you don’t have love. It’s nothing. He continues. «If I have the gift of prophecy and know all mysteries and all knowledge, if I have all faith as to remove mountains», can you imagine this amazing gift? The gift of knowledge, the gift of faith, able to move mountains but do not have love? What did he say? «I am nothing». (1 Corinthians 13:2) «If I give all my possessions», not some, all, savings account, checking account, all, «If you give all to feed the poor, if I deliver my body to be burned, but do not have love, it profits me», what? «Nothing».
My friend, God is very, very emphatic. What you do is important, but why you do it is even more important. If you do things without love, God is saying that’s nothing. Nothing wrong with feeding the poor. Nothing wrong with being generous, but God is saying it’s nothing because God looks at the heart. So may I ask you, everything you are doing today, is it the result of because you love the Lord, you love Jesus? My friend, if you don’t do it because you love Jesus, it is nothing. God is saying, your highest motivation should be love. Do you love Jesus, yes or no? Do you love Jesus? Do you love one another? Everybody, what’s our topic today? Love is action. Love is not a concept. Love is not just an idea. Love is not just thinking or feeling. That’s what many people think. Uh-uh, love is action.
Tell your neighbor, love is action. Don’t just keep talking about love. You act it out. Everybody read this. «Love is worthless unless it is expressed in deed and behavior». So, 1 Corinthians 13 is very famous when it comes to describing what love is. So, are you ready? Alright, let’s look at 1 Corinthians chapter 13. Let’s begin. «Love is patient. Love is kind, and is not jealous, does not brag, it’s not arrogant, does not act unbecomingly, it does not seek its own. It’s not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered». (1 Corinthians 13:4-5)
According to 1 Corinthians 13:4,5,6,7,8 love has 15 verbs. If you look at the English version, you’ll think they’re adjectives. You may think it’s a noun. It is not an adjective, it’s not a noun. These are 15 action words. Example, «love is patient». In the original language, patient is an action word. It is in the present continuous tense, meaning love is patient. Not once a week, not once a month. It is always patient. So shall I explain that to you now? Guys, listen to me. 1 Corinthians 13 is like a picture. It’s like a flower about love. If you remove each one of them by itself, love is patient, love is kind. You will not appreciate the beauty of love. It’s composite. Understand? Love is not just patient. It is kind. Do you understand? You got to look at it as a whole, and that’s what I want to do with you today.
See it as a big picture of what love is. Are you ready? How many verbs? 15. I’m going to explain now, one by one. Are you ready? Alright. By the way, this is like the fruit of the Holy Spirit. Together let’s read this. Together. «The fruit of the Spirit». Do you notice? Singular, the fruit, it’s one composite fruit combination. What is in the fruit? «Love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control». (Galatians 5:22–23) This is the work of God’s Spirit. You know why I’m excited to share this with you? Because I need to grow spiritually. I need to grow in love, and I want to give you the good news. You cannot live the Christian life in your own power. It’s impossible. You need Christ. And every time we meet together, I’m telling you, the secret is: are you willing to surrender your weaknesses to Jesus, and let Him turn your weaknesses to become blessings, as you surrender your life to the Lord Jesus Christ.
Let’s go to number one. «Love is patient». Look at that verse from the Greek word «makrothumeo». Notice this two Greek words. 'Makro' means long. 'Thumeo' means what? Suffering. So, what is patient? Love is long suffering. What does that mean? Love is long suffering. My friend, listen to me. It’s easy to be patient for one second, but long suffering?
I remember the story of this man. He was going to the grocery and there was this little boy in the cart. That little boy was so rowdy throwing stuff out of the cart. He would put it back and then he kept talking. Okay? You know what he was saying? «Donald, take it easy. Donald, take it easy, Donald, keep calm, Donald. We got this, Donald». So the mothers around him when they were in the check-out counter, were so impressed. They really felt like he was such a good, «you are such a good father». So they knelt down and talked to the boy, «Donald, how are you»? The father said, «He’s not Donald. He is Henry. I am Donald». The father was talking to himself. «Take it easy, be calm». You know, the truth is this: love is what? Patient. But you’ve got to combine patience with kindness.
Look at kindness. Look at that word. Kindness means what? The word kind is from this word, 'chresteuomai'. The Christians were noted not just for patience. Patience can be passive, but you add on kindness. Let me give you an example. We have a CCF member who got the shock of her life when she discovered something about her husband. You see, her husband studied in the States, in a great Christian university. Very famous. The family were Christians, the family were leaders of churches. But when she married him, she thought he was a real Christian, only to discover he was a womanizer. Many women will say, «You can do a lot of things, but the moment you commit adultery, the moment I catch you being unfaithful, that’s it. I’m out of here».
Many women make that mental vow, and she was rethinking what she should do. She called my wife, and by the grace of God, she decided I’m going to forgive him. She flew back and when she came back, she applied what true love is, not just patience, but kindness. What do I mean kindness? She prepared his food. She was nice to him. The most painful thing was this: she discovered he built another house. A new house for the mistress. So this guy has another family. I don’t know about you women. What will you do? Love is what? Louder. Love is long suffering. Love is kind. She was so nice that the husband asked her, «Can I bring the two girls from my mistress here»?
You know, I don’t know about you ladies, but you know what? She was so nice. She was nice to those girls who are not hers. And then she was so nice that they slept with them in the same room. And you know what those two young girls said to her eventually, they said, «You are a real mother to us». To make a long story short, this man developed cancer. And I always tell people, don’t wait for cancer to wake up. But God used cancer to wake him up. I visited him in Medical City and he told me, «Peter, should God allow me to live a bit longer, I’m going to share the gospel. I’m going to do what you are doing». The guy really changed. God allowed him to live a little longer. He invited his drinking mates, he invited people that he knew. You know why? He said, «I don’t want to go to heaven alone». Apparently, the Holy Spirit convicted him. Would you believe it? When he died, the other family came and would you believe it? The other family is attending church now. Only God can do it. Amen? Because of that kindness, the kindness of this girl.
Now, what made her kind? Only the Holy Spirit. Can you rate yourself? So what are you? You put there if you are like Jesus, check number seven. If you are like the devil, put there one. Love is patient. Okay, check. I want you to apply this at home today so that you can improve. You find out which one you need to improve. Now, think of your family members. When I say love is patient, love is kind. I’d like you to think of the following faces. Face number one, okay, loveable. Nice. See that’s my wife. No problem. Check seven. Seven. I’m patient. I’m kind. What about, some people are neutral, yes or no? What about some people you avoid? Are these your neighbors? Are these your family members? What about this one? Annoying. How?
How about this one? Love is action. Okay, say that with me. Love is action. What kind of action? Be kind. Be patient. Now, what is love not? There are eight things the Bible says what love is not, what you should never do. Are you ready? All right, let’s read. Love is not what? Jealous. Love does not brag. Love is not arrogant. Let me explain. That word jealous, It comes from the word zealous. It’s like you are boiling. You know why? Let me tell you. There is a kind of jealousy that’s good. There’s a kind of jealousy that’s not wrong. A jealousy that is acceptable, that’s good. Example, when God says «God is a jealous God» (Exodus 20:5), it is to protect us. Because when you read the word 'jealous' referring to God, it always has to do with our heart for idols.
Why is God so protective of you? Because when you worship idols, you are going to destroy yourself. Idolatry is one sin, just like any other sin that will ultimately destroy you. It gives you a temporal solution to your problems. For some people, their idol is money. For some people, their idol is pleasure, whatever it is to make you happy. But my friend, it’s a disaster. A jealousy between husband and wife. That’s healthy. Nothing wrong with that. It’s protective, but this jealousy that is bad, you can translate it as envious. Example, let me ask you a question, which is easier? According to Romans, «Weep with those who weep». or «Rejoice with those who rejoice». (Romans 12:15)
What do you think? If you see your neighbor having a nicer car, if you see somebody having a bigger business, are you happy for them or are you not happy? If you ask me, it’s easier to weep with those who weep. It is harder to rejoice with those who are successful. Yes or no? When others are doing well, bless them. That’s the meaning. You are not jealous. You are not envious. I’ve learned in my life to really be happy for the success of other people. Years ago, my wife met this amazing couple. He’s a billionaire. He’s based in London. He has donated over 300 million US dollars to God’s work. So this guy is a multi, multi-millionaire. He invited me, and I was shocked. After landing in the airport, he took me to his private plane.
So from the airport, we had to take another private plane to an island. Have you tried riding an amazing private jet plane? 48,000 to 50,000 feet above sea level? Quiet. And then you have a stewardess serving you, your own pilot, your own chair. Man, I told my wife «this is really nice. Better than first class». But you know what? It’s not mine. Am I enjoying it? Yes. You know why? Because I really cannot afford it, okay? But more than that, I have learned to be happy for him. Then he took me to a yacht. My goodness, the yacht is almost 200 feet long. So many rooms. You have a cook, you have a stewardess to take care of you. You have a captain and you have jet skis all over. And you know what? I don’t own it, but did I enjoy it? As I’m telling you, are you becoming jealous with me now, or are you happy for me? Be happy for me. Okay? Be happy. You know why? I’m trying to tell you, we need to learn to be joyful with the blessings of others. Amen?
Next, what does it say? Love is not jealous. Love does not brag. Notice, this brag has the idea of blow. You blow, (You are windy.) My friend, true love does not want to brag. I remember a young leader, years ago in CCF. He was so disappointed. The only reason I knew it was because his wife was angry. Because in some of these gatherings, he was not recognized, probably his work was not recognized by omission, whatever. You know? I talked to this man, I said, «be careful that you don’t serve God beause you want to be recognized. Just because you are not recognized and you feel angry tells me something. Not you, but your wife. You see, you’ve got to check your motive». You don’t brag. You serve God because you love Him. Amen?
So tell your neighbor you serve God because you love Him. Love is action. Love is not bragging. Love is not jealous. And love is what? Is not arrogant. Why do you have to be proud? Can I tell you something? The older I become, the more I realize everything we have is from God. One of my friends owns a bank. I mean, this guy is a millionaire. Major stockholder of a bank. One day he fell in his bathroom, hit his head on the back, went into coma, never recovered. You know what hit me? God can take anything away from us overnight. Think about it. You think you are in control. You think you are, you are the one who did everything.
You know, Deuteronomy is a very good verse to warn all of you. Okay? Everybody read this together. If you are, if you are tempted to become proud. Because you know, there are many kinds of pride, educational pride, material pride, Bible pride. You know, you think you know better. Look at this verse, everybody. «Beware that you do not forget the Lord your God; otherwise, when you have eaten and are satisfied and have built good houses», many of you have more than one house, «then your heart will become proud. You may say in your heart, 'My power and the strength of my hand made me this wealth.' But you shall remember the Lord your God. It is He who is giving you the power to make wealth». (Deuteronomy 8:11–4, 17-18).
May I remind all of you, we have nothing to be proud of. Amen? Everything you have, every talent you have is from the Lord. Yes or no? And I tell all pastors, even ministry, CCF is a gift from God, for you and for me to serve. God can take CCF away anytime, yes or no? So please, love is not arrogant. Let’s continue. What else can we learn about love? You group this together. «Love does not act unbecomingly, it does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered». Let’s understand. What does it mean «does not act unbecomingly»? You know, to act unbecomingly. There’s a Tagalog word for this. It’s called B-A-S-T-O-S. What is acting unbecomingly? Bastos (rude). You are impolite. You are disrespectful. You know, it’s shocking today, people today are no longer polite. We walk out on people, we shout, we are rude. We don’t understand basic etiquette.
The Bible says «love does not act unbecomingly». My friend, I pray that we will learn to love the way God wants us to love. Love does not act what? Unbecomingly. I want to prove to you that’s within your control. Example, you’re having dinner and then you got irritated. And you want to bang things around, okay? But then suddenly you discover you have a guest. Who is the guest? Oh, the president of the Philippines. What will you do? Will you suddenly behave? My friend, always ask yourself, «if Jesus was here, what would I do»? Don’t act unbecomingly. What else? You don’t act unbecomingly, you don’t seek your own. You know what is seeking your own? Seeking your own is really, you want it your way.
You know, my wife was counseling a wife of a leader, I cannot tell you where or when. Don’t think. Just take my word for this… This lady was giving her husband a lot of issues, you know, I praise God for my wife. She’s very insightful. She said, «Based on your problem», because it’s husband and wife counseling, «Based on what you are telling us, it seems you will never, ever be happy until your husband will totally do what you want him to do». She thought about it, and she smiled. I said, «Can you imagine, you want your husband to really completely submit to you»? My friend, don’t be selfish. Are you willing to surrender your rights? You see, love is not insisting «I’ve got to do it my way».
If you refuse to surrender your rights, you’ll always be fighting people. «Oh, Pastor, what will happen to me? I’ll be a doormat. People will walk all over me». Excuse me. Can I tell you something? God promised to protect you. Yes or no? Do you realize there are reasons why God allows you to be taken advantage of? Because God is after your character. God wants to mold your character, so He’s allowing these things to happen. But I’m going to tell you, someday, the day will come when God will vindicate you. Yes or no? In the meantime, what is love? Love is patient. Long-suffering. Love is what? Kind. You be kind. And then what is the reverse? You are not jealous. You don’t brag. You don’t, look at what it says here, you don’t act unbecomingly. You don’t seek your own. You are not provoked. The word 'provoked' is from the root word, pain, sharp. You are suddenly provoked.
You know what makes you suddenly get angry? When you feel disrespected. Think about it. My wife and I were having lunch with a distinguished gentleman That distinguished gentleman got so angry with the waitress, he banged the table. We were both shocked. Bang! He started shouting and I saw the wife, four of us. Can I tell you? If you feel disrespected, you react. I pray that that girl will never know that he’s a Christian, okay? Because he’s a Christian. But I realize Christians, you do get provoked if you are not careful. So you need to practice this. Let’s rate it now. Okay, so how are you doing? Not jealous. You don’t brag. You’re not arrogant. Does not act unbecomingly, does not seek your own. You are not provoked. Are you easily provoked? Do you have a bad temper?
Can I give you simple suggestions, how to overcome provocation? Once you surrender your life to Jesus, and then suddenly you are angry. For example, your wife says something or somebody says something, okay, I’ll teach you, practice, okay? Copy me. Do this forefinger and thumb, okay, are you doing this? Now put this over your lips and then squeeze it. Now everybody practice now. What about you? Close your mouth. That’s what you do when you are irritated, what must you do? What? What do you do? You try it, when you are provoked? What must you do? I have tried it many times. I keep quiet. When I keep quiet, and then next thing you do, look at me. Take a deep breath, exhale. If you’re still angry, deep breath, and then go to the toilet. Okay?
If you need to go to the toilet, can I tell you something? You’ll be amazed. Shut your mouth after a few seconds, few minutes. You’ll think about it. Certain things are not worth fighting over. Surrender that to God. You pray. When my wife will shut her mouth, you know what she’s going to do now? Pray. When I shut my mouth, I pray. Okay with you? Alright. «Does not take into account a wrong suffered». My goodness. This is where you have the word logistics, 'logistomai'. You know many people, you are like an accountant. You mark down the time when your husband or your wife makes a mistake, right? No. The Bible says you don’t take an account, you don’t keep an account. You know what? You forgive, you let go. Somebody was attending a marriage seminar and men, men, women, women, and we were discussing, and the men said, «You know, my wife becomes hysterical when something goes wrong». And then the other guy said, «You’re lucky she’s only hysterical. Mine is historical».
You keep digging the past. My friend, may I suggest, stop recording. You know, the truth is this, I’m going to make a mistake. You’re going to make a mistake. Forgive. You know, God tells us in the Bible, God tells us «Your sins I will remember no more». (Jeremiah 31:34, Hebrews 8:12). You know, I really praise God for my family. I praise God for my wife. When my wife forgives me, she doesn’t bring up the past. You know, I’ve done a lot of stupid things which I’m ashamed of, which I think is really sinful. But you know, my wife, when she forgives, that’s it. As we finish, let’s look. «Love does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth». (1 Corinthians 13:6)
What does it mean if you don’t rejoice with unrighteousness? Meaning you don’t gossip, when you see something wrong, you don’t have to rejoice, but learn to rejoice with the truth. You know, most of us get excited when somebody does something wrong or you hear something wrong, you want to tell others. Please don’t do that. You know why? The Bible tells us, «love covers a multitude of sins». (1 Peter 4:8). Are you familiar with that verse? «Keep fervent in your love for one another. Love covers a multitude of sins». (1 Peter 4:8) It is not saying you condone sin, it means you forgive. However, when I see you doing something wrong, what will I do? I will not embarrass you. I will talk to you privately. I don’t exaggerate it. You must learn what true love is. «Love does not rejoice in unrighteousness».
As we finish, look at the last group. «Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails». Bears all things. The word 'bears' all things. The word 'stego' is from the word 'roof'. You bear, you bear it. You don’t have to announce to the world. The word believes all things. What does it mean? Believes all things. You give people the benefit of the doubt. You know we are so quick to judge. Let me share with you one of the things I’m learning. In my mind, you know this, I have a mental file. In that mental file, I put things I don’t understand. Example, you told me you are going to meet me at three o’clock. You don’t show up. I have two options: to judge your character or to say, «Hmm, maybe something happened. I don’t know».
Just recently, somebody did not show up on Monday. That person was supposed to show up. My wife and I were curious. This person is abusing our hospitality. But you know what? That person had an accident. But I praise God, we did not judge. Believes. Can you turn to your neighbor? Tell your neighbor, «I believe you». Honestly, look at me now. I believe you until proven otherwise. Hopes. You know why you can hope all things. Can I tell you why I can hope? Why love is so hopeful? Can I tell you something? You want to know my secret? I believe that God is the only person that can change people. That God is so powerful. God is sovereign. It is not my job to force change. My job is to pray, my job is to love, and my job is to hope, and God’s job is to do His part. So what I cannot do, no problem. That is God’s department.
Are you familiar with Philippians 1:6? Look, let’s read this together. «I’m confident of this very thing», I’m confident, «that He who began a good work in you will perfect it until the day of Christ Jesus». The Bible says, Paul is saying, I’m so confident of this one thing, and I’m telling you right now, He who began a good work in your life, God will complete it. Your favorite word that you need to learn in CCF is the next word. 'Hupomeno' — love endures. Everybody read, hupomeno. Endure. What is endure? Endure is not «I will just suffer through this». No, no, no. To endure is more than suffering. To endure is bearing the load with positive expectation. 'Hupo' under, 'meno' to remain. You remain where you are, with the strength of the Lord, and you look up to God. «Lord, what do You want to accomplish»? It’s called endurance. You will miss God’s plan for your life if you are not able to endure. Persevere. You know why? God will never fail. Love never fails.
Another way to understand what love is, you summarize this in one sentence. «Do unto others as you want them to do unto you». (Matthew 7:12). That’s what Jesus is saying. Now, what is love? «Bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things». (1 Corinthians 13:7) My friend, can I now ask you to complete this? Just check it and then as you finish this right now, do it. Check it. And then you go home. Discuss this with your family members. Ask them if they agree with you. Oh, in my mind, I’m very patient. Ah, they’ll say, «Daddy, no, you’re only number two». You put there seven. No, no, no. I’m very kind. «Mommy, that’s not true. You put there six. You are only two». You understand what I’m saying? You practice this. You know my prayer is that you will grow in love. And my good news for you, only God can give us His love to love others. And this is the fruit of the Holy Spirit. It’s not your own. Amen?
Let’s bow our heads and pray. If God has spoken to you and you feel like, «you know what? I don’t have this love. I want to have this love. I need the help of God». You want Jesus to help you. You want to experience the love of God first in your heart. I’m going to pray for you. You pray this prayer with me:
Lord Jesus, I need Your love. I confess, I have not experienced this love and I cannot love others the way You have loved me. I want to experience Your unconditional love, unconditional forgiveness. Lord Jesus, come into my life. I invite You today, right now to take over my heart, to take over my life, be my Savior, be my Master. Change me from the inside out. Help me to love others as You want me to love them. In Jesus' name, we all pray. Amen and amen.