Peter Tan-Chi - What Are You Known For?
Greetings in the wonderful name of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ! We all long and look for love. Many of us have been disillusioned, discouraged, disappointed Because we look for love in the wrong place, we misunderstand what true love is. You see, the world, Satan, has deceived us. It has corrupted what true love is. We confuse love with lust. We confuse happiness with pleasure. The love of this world is temporal, temperamental, and very transient. However, true love does exist.
Our series will be True Love Wins. Do you notice? I made a qualifier. True love wins. For today, I want us to focus on: Should I mention your name among your children, among your officemates, among your Dgroup members, among your neighbors, what will register in their mind? Here are the four important words when it comes to true love. Number one, counter-intuitive. In other words, true love is very different from what we're used to thinking. It is not feeling. It has to do with your will. You may not fully understand, but believe it or not, true love is a command. Second important word: conscious. You have to be conscious. You cannot be neutral. When you're with a group of people, you have to be proactive. Number three, considerate. Our natural mode is selfishness. True love is you must be considerate. And the fourth word is Christ-centered. It is centered on Christ, because true love is supernatural. It's beyond our power.
So let me explain to you these four important words and how you can apply this. And believe me, it will transform your love life, it will transform your life, it will impact your family, it will impact your workplace, it will impact your community. First, what does it mean, counter-intuitive? You see the challenge is this: if we cannot even define what true love is, how can we live it out? Do you recall, I shared this definition of love to all of us years ago? Love is a commitment, unconditional commitment, towards imperfect people. You love one another. How did Jesus love us? Unconditionally, He died for us, to seek our highest good. Our love is usually selfish.
So number one, you must understand it is counter-intuitive. When I say counter-intuitive, true love is the mark of spiritual maturity. What do I mean? If I were to ask you: how do you define spiritual maturity? You know, for many people, they think of spiritual maturity as being busy. If I attend Bible studies, if I serve, if I'm busy serving the Lord, that is spiritual maturity. I'm sorry. That is not spiritual maturity. For others, it is knowledge. "If I know verses, if I know the Bible, I am spiritually mature". Have you heard of this expression: "I want deeper Bible study. I want deeper truth"? They are saying, in their minds, that spiritual maturity has to do with knowledge. But the Bible is very clear. The Bible says that is not spiritual maturity.
1 Corinthians 8:1: So it is not knowledge that is equal to maturity. You can know all the Bible, you can know all the verses, and spiritually, you are still immature. The Word of God is for transformation, not information. Imagine the first century believers, how much do they know? They don't even have the New Testament compiled yet. And yet, they were so effective. Look at 1 Corinthians 13. Spiritual maturity is not about spiritual gifts. Many people think to be spiritually mature, you need to speak in tongues. What Paul is saying is that's not it. Look at verse two: do you see that word, "knowledge"?
In other words, you may know everything. You know what the Bible is saying? That is not spiritual maturity. So what is the Bible saying? Spiritual maturity is really Christ-likeness. What is Christ-likeness? The fruit of the Holy Spirit is what? Love, joy, peace; it has to do with being Christ-like. God wants us to understand, love, Christ-likeness, is loving God, loving one another. It's counter-intuitive. Many of us, we think of, "I want to evangelize the world. I want to disciple people with my words, by knowing the Bible verses".
Nothing wrong with that. But do you notice, when it comes to witnessing, when it comes to sharing your faith, our tendency is to focus on our words, "What shall I say? What do I tell them"? May I suggest: what you say is important, but this is even more foundational. In John 13:35: Do you notice: effective witness is not your tongue. "By this, all men will know you are My disciples. You are My followers," if what? If you attend Bible study? If you are busy serving God? Nothing wrong, those are important. Notice the focus: love for one another. Who is this one another? Fellow believers. It's so sad today when we attack fellow believers. We are a bad witness.
Therefore, it is so important that you understand the heart of Jesus. Jesus is saying, "You want to glorify My name? You want to honor My name? Most important: love one another". You and I do not attack other Christians, even in the social media, when it comes to being a witness for Jesus, because the unbelievers, the world is watching us. Can you imagine what they will be thinking if Christians fight with other Christians? This is so foundational. I'm reminded of Mahatma Gandhi when he said, Why? Because Mahatma Gandhi experienced what it means to be racially prejudiced. He was disappointed when he was not allowed to enter a worship service because of the color of his skin.
I want you to assess yourself: are you known for love? Are we known for love? Not just in your family, not just in your Dgroup. What about in the social media? It is very sad when Christians fight each other in the social media. The Bible expects us to be loving wherever we are. Shame on us when we fight among ourselves. Shame on us when we don't act in a loving way. Remember: your passion for righteousness should never be an excuse not to obey God, especially in the area of love. If you see somebody doing something wrong, go to that person privately. Talk to that person. Approach the person, but don't try to correct people publicly.
Friends, it will bring shame to the name of Christ. Remember, the world is watching us. Unbelievers are watching us. And can you imagine what they'll be thinking of if they see Christians fighting one another? God tells us, What are you known for? What is your family known for? What is your group known for? What should CCF be known for? I pray we'll be known for love. And how do you do this? Let's begin with ourselves. Let's be loving. Let's begin with our family. Let's begin with our Dgroup. Let's begin in our workplace, in our school, in our social media. Be careful, be loving, because God expects us to love.
The second important word I'd like you to know is the word "conscious". What do I mean by you have to be conscious? In Luke 6:31 down, Jesus tells us how we are to love. Jesus is saying true love is active. What do I mean by active? Treat others the same way you want them to treat you. It is proactive. I've got to think: how can I treat you? And the way I will do it is to think: if I were in your place, how do I want to be treated? For example, in the highway, when you're driving, there's a law that says you do not go beyond 100 kilometers per hour.
However, the law cannot mandate that when you see a car in trouble or a flat tire, you have to stop and help. That is not possible when it comes to the mandate of the law. However, as a Christian, you will now ask yourself, "Will I stop to help this person"? Treat others the same way you want them to treat you. This is so crucial because it has to do with the reality that God expects us to love people differently. Everybody's doing that! You know what Jesus is saying? You are to be different from the world. We are to love better than the rest of the world, so be conscious of this reality.
I became more conscious of the importance of this idea of loving one another when my daughter, years ago, corrected me. She said, "Dad, I noticed you are selfish". I don't know how to explain this to you, but I was really deeply hurt when my own daughter said, "Dad, I think you are selfish". I wanted to explain the situation because she did not know the context, but the Lord impressed upon my heart: be silent, don't defend, just listen. And I praise God, I just listened. And then I began thinking: it is really true, I have a tendency to be selfish. By the grace of God, I'm happy to tell you, but you can check with them: slowly, but surely I'm improving in the area of loving, treating others the way I want to be treated. Remember: we are all on a journey to grow better when it comes to loving, but you have to be conscious.
Next word is be considerate. We live in an age of entitlement. So to be considered is to do the opposite. What do I mean? The Bible tells us in Philippians 2:3-4: Do you notice? It's very emphatic. Do nothing. Nothing means what? Absolutely nothing, zero, from selfishness or pride. But notice the secret: with humility, regard one another as more important than yourself. Now, that is very hard for me, to consider others more important, but I'm still learning. So how do you apply this? I call this the principle of the VIP. True love is to honor. In Romans 12:9-10, the Bible says, And how do you love?
Look at verse 10: I want you to underline the word, "give preference to one another in honor". That word "honor" is from the Greek word "timaō", that word means what? Value. It means treasure. You've got to treasure, value your family members; do not take them for granted. It's called handle with care, respect; learn to listen, learn to focus on them. Let's start with the family. Children, how do you show love to your parents? Don't take them for granted. Ask yourself: how can I show my appreciation to my parents? Have you thanked them? Have you thought of doing something to help your family, serving them?
In our family, my wife has this practice when they were growing up, it's called servant of the day. We appoint somebody to be the servant of everybody. Why? We want to train them not to be entitled, but to learn to value each other. When you value each other, you want to serve them. And this is something that parents have to understand. Children, you need to understand, be considerate of the people around you. You have to be intentional. Parents, how do you deal with your children? Remember: the VIP principle, your children are important people. They are treasure. You have to grant them honor also, even though they are children.
Many parents think of loving their children simply by providing material needs. But can I tell you something? You have to honor your children. Look at their needs: emotional, spiritual. They need encouragement. They need your time. They need your hug. To honor them means what? Do not shout at your children. Do not fight in front of them. To honor people, you have to watch your behavior, be considerate. That's why this is a very important word, "considerate", think of others. Don't just think of yourselves. What about in the Dgroup meeting? What does it mean to be considerate? What does it mean to honor them? May I suggest: be on time. Attend meetings. Participate. Don't gossip. That's how you are considerate. What you hear, if it's confidential, don't share it with anybody. Be an encourager.
In a Dgroup gathering in Zoom or a face-to-face, I always remind myself, "I'm now with others. How can I show love"? You see, you have to be conscious, you have to be deliberate, and you have to be considerate. Be sensitive to their needs. Practice accountability. This is something so crucial. Remember Ephesians 4:15? The Bible says: To love your fellow Dgroup members means what? Speak the truth in love. We go to the extreme. One extreme: I love them. I don't want to hurt them. If I tell them the truth, they'll get hurt. The other extreme: I need to tell them. It's my duty. It's love. Friends, you need to balance the two. Speak the truth in love. Check your motivation. This is so important.
I remember telling a Dgroup leader, "You have to tell your member that he is committing adultery, that what he's doing is wrong". This was years ago. You know what that leader told me? "He should know. I don't have to tell him. He knows what he is doing is wrong". I felt sad. But you know what happened to that person? Because they were so loving in the wrong sense, nobody was really telling him he has to change, eventually this man who is a multi-multimillionaire committed suicide. Sometimes we love people the wrong way. To be considerate, to honor people, is to speak the truth in love. It may hurt, but guard your heart, guard your motive. Say it lovingly with the right tone of voice.
What about in the office? In your school? Where you spend a great number of hours, in the workplace? How should you behave? This is so important. In 1 Corinthians 16:14, the Bible says, Do you notice? This is a command in the present tense. Not just once in a while. Every time, everything must be done out of love and in love. So question: what will your officemates, your classmates, or your neighbors say about you? Are you known for love? How do you do this? Do you remember what we taught you years ago? P-C-S: Pray, Care, Share. That's the principle. In your office, be intentional. Be sensitive. Put yourselves in their shoes. Always learn to be sensitive.
Ask people, "How can I pray for you"? How can you show care? And then how can you share? Believe me, as you practice this, they begin to realize you love them. And remember: to love your officemates is to be the best example you can be. Do you go to the office on time? Do you submit your report on time? Do you do your work excellently? Just because you're a Christian does not mean you can take your work for granted. To love your boss, to love one another, is to work hard to honor the Lord. Go the extra mile. What is love? It's counter-intuitive. It's being conscious, you've got to be conscious of how God wants us to love. It's not an option. We are to love. And we are to be considerate.
And lastly, you have to be Christ-centered. What does it mean to be Christ-centered? To be Christ-centered means you do it for Christ's glory. You do it to please Him. When you love people, first and foremost, you have to understand: I'm doing this because of Jesus. And then you have to admit you cannot do it on your own. I don't have enough power to be able to love others the way God wants me to love. This is supernatural love. This kind of love is impossible. You can only do this through His power.
1 John 4:19 is very clear: Do you notice what the Bible says? We only can love this way because He first loved us. If you have not experienced this love, it is very hard, almost impossible for you to love sacrificially. And remember: Galatians chapter 5: it is the fruit of the Holy Spirit. The Bible tells us the fruit of the Holy Spirit is love. It is the work of God in your life, in my life. You see a loving spirit is only possible when we experience Christ in our lives. It's called the new birth, the life of Christ in us and through us. Remember, you cannot give what you do not possess. How can you give this kind of love? You need to experience God's love.
Do you notice the Bible says? God is saying, "If you say you love Me, but you don't love your brothers," God is saying you're a liar. "You don't really love Me". That's why this is so crucial. Love is not just a proof of your salvation. Love is the overflow of God's love in your life. You see true love is supernatural. It's loving beyond the norm. That's why true love wins. Why? Because you go the extra mile. And you cannot do this in your own power and in your own strength. The Bible tells us we are not the source of love. You must realize it is Christ-centered. You see, we are a distributor. We are a conduit. We are like the pipe. We're like the water hose. We are not the source of water. We are just a conduit.
This water hose is useless if it is not connected to a water faucet. The same thing with your life and my life. Many times we fail to love. People tell me, "I cannot love him anymore. I cannot love my husband anymore, Peter. You don't realize how hard it is". "I cannot love my wife anymore because what she did was awful". You know what I tell them? And they get shocked. I said, "Yes, but you can love them if you allow Christ to love through you". I want you to hear the testimony of a husband and wife when it comes to true love.
Lara: Bearwin And I have been married for 17 years. It was in 2010 when we met Pastor Danny and Ate Dawn Urquico and started attending CCF Taytay. Back then, I clearly remember Pastor Danny telling us, "You guys can share your testimony here at CCF Taytay". Although we had our share of ups and downs, I thought our married life was doing well, so in my mind I thought there was nothing to share. Comparing to other testimonies where there were stories of addiction, abuse, and immorality, ours was pretty ordinary. Little did I know that the devil was patiently waiting for me. I met a guy who I connected with easily. He was funny and easy to get along with, so we became close friends. Bearwin knew him, but of course he did not approve of the friendship. That's when my heart started to rebel. Because I enjoyed this friendship, the guy and I did not stop. Our life which I once saw as simple and happy felt boring for me. I felt the need to go out, socialize, and work, since in my mind, I have been a housewife for too long. Bearwin had hints of what was going on because I acted different around the house. I was always on my phone, smiling. Then I would also demand for a day off in a week, which I justify as my "me time", but it wasn't truly "me time": it was "we time" with the other guy.
Bearwin: When all these were happening, I was already being invited to different CCF satellite churches to speak. I prayed to God and asked Him to help my wife and rescue her every time she's tempted. It was really hard for me because I can sense that there is something going on, but I continued serving the Lord. I continued focusing on Him alone. It was hard and painful. I wanted to take things in my own hands, but instead, I cried to the Lord day and night.
Lara: I regularly met with the guy and that friendship grew to something else. The kids would even see Bearwin and I fighting over my phone. One day, I was about to leave the house to spend time with the other guy. I went to Bearwin's office to kiss him goodbye. There, I found him preparing for his Sunday CCF talk. Seeing him brought pain and conviction in my heart. In my mind, I thought, "Why are you doing this, Lara? You are having fun committing adultery"? Despite this prodding from God, I continued on with my ways.
Bearwin: I almost gave up on my wife. I wanted to settle on the idea that my own family will just be like the family I grew up with. Having a father who had four wives and a mother who had three husbands, I asked God: are You allowing this for my family? The Lord answered me, "Of course not, son. Stay with Me and remain in Me". I met Pastor Danny and told him that I was already seeing clear signs that my wife was having an affair. He gave me an advice I will never forget: he asked me to continue to pray for my wife every day, that I should also pray for my decisions and responses to these situations. Pastor Danny also told me that this was a critical stage for my emotions and should seek help and guidance from the Holy Spirit. He also reminded me that we too are sinners, but God cleansed us and saved us. And his last advice was: "Every time you feel an attack from the enemy, just say, 'I will always choose to love and forgive my wife.'" It was really difficult, but by God's amazing grace and by the power of the Holy Spirit, I did it.
Lara: Months passed, I still met with the guy. But unlike the first few months where everything felt enjoyable, this time I felt uneasy. I knew something was way too wrong. Whenever I was with the guy, I would think about Bearwin and the kids. One Sunday, we attended service in CCF Main. Pastor Peter's message was "True Repentance Brings Breakthrough". The message spoke loudly to me and reminded me that God loves me and He wants me back. I knew I had to do the right thing for my husband, my kids, and for God. I ended my relationship with the guy. Finally, I told myself it's time. I am going to admit everything. I'm not really good at speaking. So I chose to write Bearwin a letter, in all humility, admitting everything. I felt relieved, but at the same time, I felt bad because I knew that things will be different from that day on. Bearwin was really angry and hysterical. I could see and feel his anguish. Weeks went by, the process was not easy. I knew it was so difficult for him, but he chose to forgive me. God forgave me, and I started to forgive myself. By God's amazing grace, my relationship with Bearwin was fully healed and restored. Praise God!
Bearwin: As we have experienced God's hand in restoring our marriage, it has been a blessing to us to be leading our own couples' Dgroup as we help fellow married couples to grow in their relationship with God and with one another. It has also been a privilege for me to support and be part of Christian Values Movement as one of its ambassadors. To God be all the glory and praise.
Bearwin: When all these were happening, I was already being invited to different CCF satellite churches to speak. I prayed to God and asked Him to help my wife and rescue her every time she's tempted. It was really hard for me because I can sense that there is something going on, but I continued serving the Lord. I continued focusing on Him alone. It was hard and painful. I wanted to take things in my own hands, but instead, I cried to the Lord day and night.
Lara: I regularly met with the guy and that friendship grew to something else. The kids would even see Bearwin and I fighting over my phone. One day, I was about to leave the house to spend time with the other guy. I went to Bearwin's office to kiss him goodbye. There, I found him preparing for his Sunday CCF talk. Seeing him brought pain and conviction in my heart. In my mind, I thought, "Why are you doing this, Lara? You are having fun committing adultery"? Despite this prodding from God, I continued on with my ways.
Bearwin: I almost gave up on my wife. I wanted to settle on the idea that my own family will just be like the family I grew up with. Having a father who had four wives and a mother who had three husbands, I asked God: are You allowing this for my family? The Lord answered me, "Of course not, son. Stay with Me and remain in Me". I met Pastor Danny and told him that I was already seeing clear signs that my wife was having an affair. He gave me an advice I will never forget: he asked me to continue to pray for my wife every day, that I should also pray for my decisions and responses to these situations. Pastor Danny also told me that this was a critical stage for my emotions and should seek help and guidance from the Holy Spirit. He also reminded me that we too are sinners, but God cleansed us and saved us. And his last advice was: "Every time you feel an attack from the enemy, just say, 'I will always choose to love and forgive my wife.'" It was really difficult, but by God's amazing grace and by the power of the Holy Spirit, I did it.
Lara: Months passed, I still met with the guy. But unlike the first few months where everything felt enjoyable, this time I felt uneasy. I knew something was way too wrong. Whenever I was with the guy, I would think about Bearwin and the kids. One Sunday, we attended service in CCF Main. Pastor Peter's message was "True Repentance Brings Breakthrough". The message spoke loudly to me and reminded me that God loves me and He wants me back. I knew I had to do the right thing for my husband, my kids, and for God. I ended my relationship with the guy. Finally, I told myself it's time. I am going to admit everything. I'm not really good at speaking. So I chose to write Bearwin a letter, in all humility, admitting everything. I felt relieved, but at the same time, I felt bad because I knew that things will be different from that day on. Bearwin was really angry and hysterical. I could see and feel his anguish. Weeks went by, the process was not easy. I knew it was so difficult for him, but he chose to forgive me. God forgave me, and I started to forgive myself. By God's amazing grace, my relationship with Bearwin was fully healed and restored. Praise God!
Bearwin: As we have experienced God's hand in restoring our marriage, it has been a blessing to us to be leading our own couples' Dgroup as we help fellow married couples to grow in their relationship with God and with one another. It has also been a privilege for me to support and be part of Christian Values Movement as one of its ambassadors. To God be all the glory and praise.
You will notice something about supernatural love. It is never by feeling. Many times we wait until the feeling will come. No. The principle is very simple: it is motion before emotion. It's obedience before feeling. Many of us are deceived into thinking, "I will wait until I feel it before I will do it," and that, my friend, is what we have been deceived again and again, because you will think you're being a hypocrite. "I don't feel like it. Why will I do it"? On the contrary, obedience is not being a hypocrite. Obey first and feeling will follow.
Look at Bearwin, look at Lara. The lives of obedience, because they obeyed the Lord, their love is restored. And I pray you will learn to apply this kind of love in your life. It is supernatural. You and I need Jesus. The Bible is very emphatic. As I look in my own life, I realize that God has loved me so much. Romans 5:8: True love is an unconditional commitment towards imperfect people. He demonstrates, it is action. It is not feeling, it transcends feeling. God demonstrates (action word) His own love toward us, while we were still sinners. True love is directed towards imperfect people and it is sacrificial, Christ died for us. Why? To seek my highest good.
My highest good is I need forgiveness. And that's how Jesus loves us. And because I've experienced this love, who am I not to love others? Who am I not to forgive others? If you're having a hard time loving people, perhaps you have not experienced the love of God. Jesus explained this to a Pharisee. Jesus says, If you do not know the magnitude of your sin, if you do not know how much you have been forgiven, you will never appreciate the love of God. In my case, I praise God, in spite of who I am, in spite of what I have done, in spite of what I continue to do, God's love reaches to the lowest point.
He loved me, He forgave me, and because of what He did for me, who am I not to love others? If God has spoken to you that you want to experience this love, the first thing you need to do is to humble yourself and to say, "Lord, I need Your love. I need to experience Your unconditional love," and I want you to receive His love. His love is freely given. The only thing is, are you willing to admit you need forgiveness? You want to receive His love. If that's your desire, please pray with me.
Lord Jesus, I realize I have not experienced this kind of love. I have not experienced unconditional love. I always think I need to deserve Your love, but now I realize, Lord, You love me as is where is. Today, I receive Your love. Thank You for the forgiveness of my sin. And now Jesus, I pray that as You have loved me, help me to overflow this kind of love to others. Help me to love others the way You have loved me. You have forgiven me, help me to forgive others. You have sacrificially given Your best for me, help me to love others the way You want me to love them. In Jesus' name, I pray. Amen.