Peter Tan-Chi - Breaking Bad Habits
Greetings in the wonderful name of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ! Because it is hindering you, it is side-tracking you, it is stopping you from becoming the person that God wants you to be? Is it too much screen time? Is it social media? Is it computer games? Is it bingeing on Netflix? Telenovelas? Or pornography, alcohol, sex, drugs, addiction to certain things that you know is not good? This is more subtle: procrastination. Blaming others.
Now what is even more dangerous than the above is critical spirit. It's a wrong mindset of how you process things. Unforgiveness, temper, angry spirit, unbiblical mindset, attitude. Example: cancel culture. You have a habit of canceling people, of not discussing with people that disagree with you. In your mind, anybody who disagrees with you is completely wrong. You have a habit of not listening, a habit of not giving people the benefit of the doubt. So that you will become the person that God wants you to be, or the person that you desire to become? The topic today is You see, bad habits do not have to define you. shaped by bad choices, bad habits.
Today, I have good news for you. I'm going to help you. How do you overcome, how do you break bad habits? To break habits, I want to give you the acronym, AWARE. A stands for assess. You must analyze, assess what's going on in your life today. Why? You cannot change something you are not even aware of. W: you must want to change. You must be willing to admit there's a problem, and you want to change. A: add new habit. How do you overcome a bad habit? Replace it with a new habit. R: remove the trigger. What do I mean? I'm going to explain this in a short while. And lastly, engage others. Have an accountability group. One of the most neglected provisions that God has given us is the community, helping one another.
Let's begin with A: assess. You have to be conscious. You have to analyze what's going on in your current lifestyle. What is your current habit? You may ask: "What are habits that are considered bad that I need to change"? Listen to me, you begin with foundation, who you want to become. So any habits that will impact negatively on what you will become, it may not necessarily be sinful, but it's going to be an obstacle, is going to be a hindrance. That my friend is something you need to surrender, provided you're very clear: you want to be all that God wants you to be, but this particular habit is an obstacle.
Many of you know about Samson. Samson was amazingly chosen by God. He had an amazing beginning. God told his parents what kind of man Samson will become: he is going to be chosen. He's going to be a Nazirite, he is going to be devoted unto the Lord. But Samson had a weakness: Samson was not aware of his own bad habits. He was blind to his own weakness. The Bible tells us in Judges 14:1, Do you notice Samson's mindset? "I saw a woman, I like her, get her for me". In other words, the parents knew that Samson was a Nazirite, chosen by God to be His people, to serve God. Therefore it's important that he will choose somebody with the same faith.
But notice how Samson answered. Can you now see Samson's propensity? Samson gives into sensuality. What about you? Do you know your strengths? Do you know your weaknesses? Look at Judges 16: Somebody made an estimate of how far it is from where Samson was, to Gaza. Somebody computed it took Samson over 50,000 steps to go down to Gaza. Why will Samson go to Gaza, knowing it is enemy territory, knowing it is dangerous? Samson had a habit. He gives in to his lust.
Look at verse four: You now see Samson's propensity, his bad habit, his weakness when it comes to sensuality, when it comes to sex, when it comes to women. Know your habit. You must begin by becoming aware of the choices you are making and how these choices will impact your future. Remember: each choice starts a behavior. Then over time, it becomes a habit. So how do you assess your current behavior? It is important that you humble yourselves and learn to track what you are doing. What do I mean?
Let's say you begin to write down the amount of time you spent on each activity, and you discover you are spending three hours a day in playing games or watching Netflix. Imagine, three hours a day, that will be around 21 hours a week. And that's around 80 hours a month. And that is roughly around 1,000 hours a year. Now, if you divide that by 24 hours, how many days are you wasting? You are wasting over a month of your life. Very subtle, but if you begin tracking down your habits, you begin to see cumulatively, how it's affecting you.
So my question to you is simply this: Are you aware of your habits today? Next principle: W. After assessing your life, you must want to change. It is one thing to know, it's another thing to want to change. But you will not want to change unless you understand the problem. I believe Samson had no idea what was eventually going to happen. If you look at the life of Samson in chapter 16, Samson, because of his not willing, not wanting to change, he eventually lost his eyes. He became a prisoner. He lost his ministry. What is very sad is he lost the anointing of God. He lost the power of God. He lost the manifest presence of God.
Samson had no idea that his bad habit is going to cost him a lot. Samson became not only a prisoner of his own bad habits, he became a prisoner of the Philistines. The Philistines made fun of the name of God and glorified their pagan gods. Eventually, Samson lost his life. Samson has forgotten the why and the who of his life. Samson has forgotten he was God's chosen instrument. Samson forgot that he belongs to the Lord and he's going to be used by God to deliver his people. Friends, do you know who you are, and do you know what you want to become? So how do you break bad habits? Assess what's going on in your life. You must be wanting to change.
How do you change? Add a new habit. Studies have shown if you just focus on removing bad habits, the more you will fall into bad habits. It's called the principle of fixation. The way to overcome bad habits is called replacement. And how do you replace bad habits? You must now understand the principle of trigger. Every habit, especially a bad habit, has a trigger. This trigger will then impact your action. And then when you do this, there's going to be a reward: pleasure.
And remember: with bad habits, you get immediate reward, and that's why it's easy to have bad habits, because the reward is immediate. But with good habits, the reward is not always immediate. However, the rewards of good habits are long term, and the consequences of bad habits are long-term. Do you see what I'm saying? The rewards of good habits may not be immediate, but sooner or later you'll reap the benefits. And the consequences of bad habits may not always be immediate, but remember: bad habits will have consequences.
So to overcome bad habits, you must know the trigger and then remove the trigger. What do I mean by triggers? Studies have shown there are five major triggers that will impact your action: TIME, PLACE, PEOPLE, EVENTS, and MOOD. What do I mean? Let me give you an example. There was this lady who wanted to lose weight. She tried and tried, but somehow she has this habit of eating sweets, eating junk food, and she could not lose weight. In fact, slowly but surely she keeps gaining. Until somebody helped her by analyzing her pattern, and this is what they've discovered: at three o'clock in the afternoon (the time), during coffee break (that's the event), she will go with her friend (people) to a place, it's called cafeteria.
And then in that environment, she sees the cookies, she sees the cakes. So they buy cookies, cakes, they sit down together and they start eating. It gives them pleasure. Sugar is addictive. It's nice, talking. So this is repeated. So what should she do to overcome this habit? She decided at three o'clock she will now do something different. Instead of going to the cafeteria, she will go outside her office and take a walk. She will exercise. She told her friend she wants to have fresh air, she wants to exercise, and this is what went on. She developed a new habit. That new habit replaced the old habit.
I know of an amazing family who discovered that his sons were struggling with internet gaming, et cetera. What did he do? He decided to take them on a vacation, go on a vacation where there's no WiFi, no internet. Just a good time together. It's called opportunity to detox. And by the grace of God, because of detoxification, the family, praise God, is moving in the right direction. What did he do next? He got them involved in sports. You see: one habit replacing another. Instead of screen time, you get involved in sports. It will force you to become disciplined, it will force you to be active, it even makes you healthy.
When you add a new habit, I want to go to the R, you remove the cue: the principle of replacement. What do I mean? In my case, God has been helping me to develop new habits by removing cues, by removing triggers, and adopting new habits. For example: there's nothing wrong with listening to news. But I noticed I'm spending a lot of time listening to news, and I realized it is not a sin but it is not the best use of my time. I am not productive when I listen to news. So what did I do? I told my wife when we are having breakfast, I will no longer turn on the news. I'm replacing news time with another habit: my wife and I will take this time to share our lessons from our quiet time, discussing the activities for the day. You see triggers, when it comes to bad habit, you remove it or make it as difficult as possible.
So in my case, we will remove the WiFi, unplug the WiFi by 9:30pm. Why? Because by 9:30pm, I want to focus my time now on reading, studying something else, use it more productively. And what did I do? I put a trigger. I put books, a nice chair that's relaxing near my bed with nice lighting in the background so that it is conducive. See, the good habits I make it obvious. The bad habits, I make it difficult. Can you imagine: for me to be watching news again, video, I have to turn on the WiFi again? For some of you, you may need to surrender your cellphone. At night, by 9:30pm, I know of a family, they put all their cellphones in a common box to remove the trigger, to remove the temptation.
In my case, my password is known to my wife, to my office staff. There's nothing that can be hidden without them knowing it. That's the idea: that you develop a system where you can make it harder to do what you think nobody will know. The way to adopt new habits, you must also capitalize on the reward system. What do I mean? At nighttime, I adopted a new habit, from listening to news or watching Netflix, to reading. Now, if I'm able to do that, my wife and I may reward ourselves.
On the weekend, we'll watch a nice movie. We'll watch Netflix. In other words, one good habit at a time, and then learn to reward yourself. Experiencing success is repeating a few keystone habits you practice everyday, while failure is simply practicing a few bad habits, bad judgment, repeated every day. And one of the best habits that my wife and I developed is when we walk, we use this app to measure our steps. And this app has an amazing attraction, because it gives you a reward when you walk over 6,000 steps a day.
If you walk over 6,000 steps, they will clap. When you walk, when you reach 10,000 steps, there's another trigger. And would you believe it? As I began using this during the pandemic, my wife and I have walked over 3,000 kilometers. Honestly, I can never imagine I would have walked over 3,000 kilometers. But you know what? Good habits, little by little, cumulative effect. And that's why it is important to adopt a new habit, remove bad habits, and do it little by little.
The last E is engage others. You see, research has shown that the influence of our social circle is so powerful. Proverbs 13:20 tells us: Are you intentionally aware of your social circle? Are you engaging people to help you? Don't underestimate the importance of engaging others. Just imagine: if you have your best friends and they all love the Lord, four or five of your best friends. You spend time with them. They love the Lord. They have good families. They have good jobs, financially responsible. They are generous and they love to serve the Lord. How would that impact your life? Imagine: you have four or five good friends, but they don't love the Lord. They take drugs.
Financially, they are irresponsible. How would that impact your life? Here's the principle: it is almost impossible to develop good habits if you surround yourself with men or women whose lifestyle, whose habits, are opposed to your values. Do you have such a community to help you? You know, the Bible tells us again and again, over 140 times in the New Testament, we are to help one another: the verses on "pray for one another", "confess your sins to one another" (James 5:16); "encourage one another", "build up one another" (1 Thessalonians 5:11); Hebrews: "encourage one another daily"; Colossians 3:16: "teach, admonish one another", all of these verses on "one another", believe it or not, is a command.
Pray for one another, encourage one another, because we are never meant to be a lone ranger. God knows what we need. While Jesus Christ is more than sufficient for our salvation, for our well-being, it does not mean you don't need a community. God has given us His community: the church, the people of God. The only problem is sometimes we are too proud to feel the need to be accountable to a group. Sometimes we are too proud to have accountability partners. We think we can do this on our own. Some of us are too self-centered that you don't want to be a blessing to others because you are so full of yourself.
My friend, do you have people who are there to encourage you, to help you, to guide you? You see, God wants you to be a champion. God wants all of us to be all that we can become. In my private life, I know my identity. I belong to the Lord. You notice what I said? Not ten habits, start with one habit. What do you need to give up? It may not be a sin, but it is something that is slowing you down. Too much time in social media? Computer games? Pornography? Substance abuse?
Whatever it is... what is that one thing that God wants you to give up? Assess what's going on in your life today. You must want to change. Add new habit one at a time. Remove the triggers, and engage others to help you. I love this saying: The day you stop blaming others and assume full responsibility for your choices is the day you become an adult. I pray that you will take full responsibility today with your choices, with your actions. I want you to hear the testimony of one of our brothers. Let's welcome Hayden Kho. Let's listen to his amazing story.
Dr. Hayden Kho: Hi, I'm Dr. Hayden Kho, husband to Vicki and father to Scarlet Snow Belo. Many years ago, I fell into habits that are not just unhealthy for me but harmful to those around me. In particular, I struggled against drug addiction. At first, I thought it was no big deal. I said to myself that if God were a loving God, then surely, He'd let me have some fun. After all, I knew many people, some of them quite influential, who seemed to be doing well and hardly suffered from any of the ill effects of drugs that I've read from the medical books that I read before when I was in college. What I'd read and heard didn't seem to add up to what I saw from others or experienced myself.
However, my little experiment, fueled by my curiosity and motivated by peer pressure, became more than just a habit. Instead, it turned into a dangerous addiction. Whereas before I would take drugs for pleasure's sake, this time, I felt compelled to take it just to feel normal. Worse, I would deny the seriousness of the situation, even though my friends, my family, co-workers, all recognized the problem. My drug addiction led to many problems: my involvement in a sex scandal, my falling out with my best friends, the suspension of my career as a doctor, and the deterioration of my health. There were also spiritual consequences. I became so distant from God that I felt there was no more hope for someone like me.
So in 2008 and the year after, I tried to end my life, but wasn't successful. Fast-forward to 2013, I met a person who invited me to CCF. Every time I attended services, I felt lighter and encouraged, so Jesus became more and more attractive to me. Attending Sunday service in CCF and listening to sermons of great preachers on YouTube became new habits for me. Months later, I opened up my heart fully to Jesus, and in my brokenness, I offered my life to Him. That is when things began to change for me. God started a process of renewing my mind through Scripture. Every day, I would read my Bible and look for instructions for living.
I learned, for example, that our bodies are the temple of the Holy Spirit. We do not own ourselves. Ultimately we belong to God. I also learned that in order to grow and sustain spiritual gains, we must avoid all wrong behaviors and habits. I learned that willful, repeated disobedience numbs our will to pursue God and his purposes for our lives. In his letter to the Ephesians, Paul says, Lastly, I learned that nothing, that absolutely nothing, is better than knowing God.
So seeking Him and His kingdom should be our highest priority. All of the other things like money, fame, power, influence, were all valueless compared to a more profound commitment to Jesus. Jesus gave His life, that anyone who believes might have eternal, abundant life, both on earth and after death. His desire is for us to embrace Him in faith, but our bad habits and addictions cripple our ability to do that, as well as rob us the most extraordinary delight we could ever experience. They offer only a counterfeit to abundant life in Christ.
Today, I serve Christ as a Dgroup leader to business people, and a mentor to broken men who fell into similar sins as mine. In addition, I dedicate a lot of my time serving in various Christian ministries, such as the Right Start Children's Foundation and the Christian Values Movement. But what I am most proud of is that God had given me the privilege of guiding my wife, Vicki, and daughter, Scarlet Snow, in their walks with God. To God be the glory.
However, my little experiment, fueled by my curiosity and motivated by peer pressure, became more than just a habit. Instead, it turned into a dangerous addiction. Whereas before I would take drugs for pleasure's sake, this time, I felt compelled to take it just to feel normal. Worse, I would deny the seriousness of the situation, even though my friends, my family, co-workers, all recognized the problem. My drug addiction led to many problems: my involvement in a sex scandal, my falling out with my best friends, the suspension of my career as a doctor, and the deterioration of my health. There were also spiritual consequences. I became so distant from God that I felt there was no more hope for someone like me.
So in 2008 and the year after, I tried to end my life, but wasn't successful. Fast-forward to 2013, I met a person who invited me to CCF. Every time I attended services, I felt lighter and encouraged, so Jesus became more and more attractive to me. Attending Sunday service in CCF and listening to sermons of great preachers on YouTube became new habits for me. Months later, I opened up my heart fully to Jesus, and in my brokenness, I offered my life to Him. That is when things began to change for me. God started a process of renewing my mind through Scripture. Every day, I would read my Bible and look for instructions for living.
I learned, for example, that our bodies are the temple of the Holy Spirit. We do not own ourselves. Ultimately we belong to God. I also learned that in order to grow and sustain spiritual gains, we must avoid all wrong behaviors and habits. I learned that willful, repeated disobedience numbs our will to pursue God and his purposes for our lives. In his letter to the Ephesians, Paul says, Lastly, I learned that nothing, that absolutely nothing, is better than knowing God.
So seeking Him and His kingdom should be our highest priority. All of the other things like money, fame, power, influence, were all valueless compared to a more profound commitment to Jesus. Jesus gave His life, that anyone who believes might have eternal, abundant life, both on earth and after death. His desire is for us to embrace Him in faith, but our bad habits and addictions cripple our ability to do that, as well as rob us the most extraordinary delight we could ever experience. They offer only a counterfeit to abundant life in Christ.
Today, I serve Christ as a Dgroup leader to business people, and a mentor to broken men who fell into similar sins as mine. In addition, I dedicate a lot of my time serving in various Christian ministries, such as the Right Start Children's Foundation and the Christian Values Movement. But what I am most proud of is that God had given me the privilege of guiding my wife, Vicki, and daughter, Scarlet Snow, in their walks with God. To God be the glory.
Do you notice something with Hayden's testimony? The moment he became aware of the wrong direction of his life, the moment he really wanted to change, what happened? He had an encounter with Jesus. He became open to the reality that he needed supernatural intervention in his life, and praise God, when Hayden encountered Jesus, his life began to change. New desire, new power, new habits. Perhaps you are saying, "I'd like to have that encounter, I'd like to have a new beginning". I want you to humble yourselves today and come to know Jesus. This is what Jesus has done in my life, in my wife's life, in many other lives. Would you like to invite Jesus to help you overcome bad habits? Let's pray.
Lord Jesus, I just realized that I need You to break bad habits. I need Your power. I need Your strength. Today, I humble myself before You. I ask You, Jesus, to really change my heart. Come into my life. Be my Lord, be my Savior. Give me a new desire to want to change. And only You can do that. Thank you, Jesus for loving me, for dying on the cross for my sins, and for the gift of a new life, eternal life. Thank You. I surrender to You my life today. In Jesus' name, I pray. Amen.