Paul Daugherty - How to be Patient
Summary
Pastor Paul is teaching from Ephesians 4:2 that true love starts with patience, urging believers to be humble, gentle, and patient with one another, making allowances for faults because of love. He stresses that everyone is in process and fighting hidden battles, so we need to extend the same grace to others that God gives us. Ultimately, patience isn't weakness but powerful perseverance produced by the Holy Spirit, leading to maturity, stronger relationships, and renewed strength as we wait on God.
The Call to Patience
Lord, help me be patient. How many of you have been praying for that lately over your spirit, your attitude with people, with family? Who tests your patience the most? Don’t look at her right now, don’t look at her. You know what I’m talking about; it’s the people you live with that test your patience the most. If you have a Bible, go to Ephesians chapter 4. Ephesians 4:2 says, «Always be humble, be gentle, and be patient with each other.» What Paul is saying here is, he’s saying, «Listen, we are not superior to each other, we are not better than each other; we are not meant to be fighting with one another.»
He says humility is the key to staying in relationship with each other. Being gentle with people is the key to not burning relationships, not burning bridges. He says, «Be patient with each other, making allowance for each other’s faults because of your love.»
Why We Need Patience with Others
I saw this graphic not too long ago, this post that someone had put up about why we should be patient with other people. I want to throw this on the screen: why we should treat people with gentleness and kindness. The real reason is because this is someone’s life, and this is what you know about it, right? This is how big someone’s life is, and this is the little bit that we know is going on. When someone treats you rudely, when somebody is disrespectful, when someone is being mean, you don’t know half the battles that they are dealing with beneath the surface.
When a child is acting out, and we say, «What is wrong with this kid’s attitude?» we don’t know what’s really going on deep beneath the surface.
Personal Struggles with Patience
This past week, there were multiple snow days, and we had kids in the house extra, and schools were out, you know, and it was hard to even get to work. So, we were at home with the kids, and if I haven’t told you, I have five kids. My wife Ashley and I have five kids, seven and under. Now you know our oldest is 11 and our youngest is three, but we were all being tested in our patience this week with each other. There were moments where I would just step outside and bite my finger; Lord, help me be patient.
I don’t know; sometimes biting my finger just helps, and stepping outside in the freezing cold does too. How many of you have had to ask God for patience in your life? Don’t act too Christian in the room. You know sometimes the fruit of the Spirit is still growing in you; you’re still being sanctified, right?
So, this is what Paul says: he says, «Be patient with people; people are in a process just like you. People are going through battles just like you. Just like you need grace from God, people need grace from you.»
A Morning Conversation
This morning, I woke up early and went to the gym at about 6:00 in the morning. I was talking to this guy as we were both working out; he knew I was about to preach and said, «What are you preaching on?» I said, «Patience.» He said, «Oh God, I need that.» I asked, «Who tests your patience the most?» He said, «My 16-year-old daughter.» Then he added, «If I’m honest, I probably test her patience too.»
If we’re all honest in this room, we are all tested by somebody. How many of you know someone in your life is tested by you, and you are tested by them? We are a test for each other. He said, «I’ve been learning lately to be less judgmental, though; the more judgmental I am, the more impatient I am with her. The more that I sit back and shut my mouth, the more I’ve realised God’s working. When I don’t feel like I have to share my opinions and be so critical about everything she does, I’m preaching already. If you’re wanting to take notes, note-takers are history-makers.»
Love Is Patient – 1 Corinthians 13
1 Corinthians 13 gives us 15 qualities of love, and before he goes through the qualities of love, he says, «Listen, if I could speak in all the languages of heaven, if I could pray in tongues and talk to angels, but if I didn’t have love, I would be a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal.» Right? I’d be like this cymbal on the drums back here; it’s just super annoying right now.
He says that’s what I would sound like if I was praying in tongues but was rude to my family all the time. If I had the gift of prophecy in verse two, if I understood all of God’s secret plans, if I memorised the Book of Revelation, if I possessed the knowledge of the scriptures, if I knew the acts of Jesus and the eyes of Jesus and the hermeneutics of every scriptural understanding, and I could preach messages that just wowed the audience, but I walked off the stage and was a jerk to the people closest to me, I would be nothing.
In fact, he goes into the next verse; he says, «Even if I gave all my money to the poor, if I lived at the Dream Centre and served people and ministered to people, and I was constantly pouring out and giving my clothes away and giving my money away and giving everything away, but I didn’t actually love people, then I’ve gained nothing.» With benevolence and my generosity in verse four, the very first quality of love is «love is patient.»
What Patience Really Means
Love is patient with people; love is patient with God; love is patient on the promises you’ve been praying for. Love is patient with yourself when you beat yourself up, and you live with these perfectionist mindsets of, «Ah, I wish I would have, could have, should have done things better.» I wish I, and I overanalyze. Love is patient with everybody.
By the way, the definition of patience is forbearance; practising self-control to endure. Patience is even-tempered. Patience is a steady attitude. Patience is the ability to stay positive during negative circumstances. Patience is not just being nice until you get what you want. Patience is being nice even when you don’t get what you want. Patience is not just tolerating a season until the next season gets here; patience is learning to enjoy the season you’re in and making the most of it, even if the next season never comes.
The Example of Job
Think about the story of Job, right? Job walked through trial after trial after trial, and it was Job’s patient perseverance that got him to the finish line, where God said, «Okay Job, you’ve been through enough trials; you could have thrown in the towel, you could have given up, you could have cursed me, but instead Job worshipped God and said, ‘My Redeemer still lives.’»
Job said, «Man, I feel naked, I feel broken, I feel overwhelmed, but my Redeemer still lives. I will still praise the Lord.» Patience is being able to praise even when you want to complain. Patience is showing up to church even when you want to stay in bed and throw a fit at God. Patience is choosing.
Patience Is Powerful
Patience is not a lazy thing; it’s not a weak thing. Patience is powerful. It takes courage to be patient. A passionate man without patience is a man stepping into impulsive consequences. Passion without patience leads to unnecessary problems in your life.
I remember taking my oldest son when he was just three to the doughnut store, and he was so passionate about doughnuts. He called them «dun duns.» Now we have five kids, and the other day I took all five kids to the doughnut shop, and it was insane. They were all shouting what doughnut they wanted, and they didn’t think I could hear them, so they were shouting over each other, and I was like, «Just stop, one at a time!»
The lady behind the counter went to Victory and she said, «I will help you, Pastor Paul.» I was like, «Thank you!» She helped me through this moment. I needed help; I was like, «Lord, help me be patient, and help my kids be patient. Help them to wait on the doughnut; help them to trust that sometimes our eyes are bigger than our stomachs.» They wanted to have 15 doughnuts; I was like, «You’re not even going to eat one and a half! I’m not going to order you 15!»
Impatience Rooted in Fear
Sometimes we are like this with God; we’re like this. At the root of impatience is fear. If you want to know where impatience, impulsive behaviour, and the inability to wait come from, it comes from fear. The fear that I’m going to miss out; FOMO—fear of missing out, fear of not having enough, fear of missing the opportunity.
My impatience can get me into relationships that I shouldn’t get into yet. I remember when Ashley and I went to a restaurant; we’d been waiting for 40 minutes. They said it was going to be a 40-minute wait. Did you know the average American life is 78.2 years? My grandad turns 101 this week—come on, I claim those genes! I’m going to live to be 101 in Jesus’ name.
The average American life is 78.2 years, and the research is in that Americans will spend 14 of their 78 years waiting on stuff: waiting at restaurants to be seated, waiting on hold on the phone, waiting on a woman, waiting on a man, waiting at the grocery store, waiting at rollercoaster rides, waiting at the airport, waiting on delays, waiting in traffic—all kinds of waiting. We spend years waiting.
The Restaurant Lesson
So, Ashley and I were sitting in this restaurant, waiting, and the 40 minutes had gone up. I was timing; I was like, «Okay, it’s been 40 minutes.» It was Cheddars, y’all—I’m going to tell you what restaurant it was; it was Cheddars. I was hungry for some spinach dip and chips; I was like, «Babe, I haven’t eaten in like eight hours, and I am starving!»
She said, «The sign says wait to be seated by the server.» I said, «The violent take it by force!» I saw two empty tables, three empty tables, and I said, «I’m going to go get one of those, I’m going to take the territory. I’ll stake claim to the table, then the server will bring you over there.» She was like, «Lord, help my husband be patient and help me be patient with my husband.»
So, I walked over there, and I was about to sit down at a table. I was like, «I got this!» Right as I was about to sit down, the waitress said, «Stop!» I said, «What?» She was adamant; she was like, «Stop!» I was like, «I’m sorry!» She said, «You’re about to sit down in someone’s ketchup and ranch right here.»
I said, «Oh, I didn’t see that.» She said, «Yeah, if you would have waited where the sign said to wait…» I said, «Well, I just saw an empty table.» She said, «If you sit down before you’re supposed to, you’re going to inherit someone else’s mess.» If you get into a relationship with that guy who’s still healing from what his ex put him through, if you get into a relationship with that girl who is still healing from the trauma of what she walked through from her last husband, too soon.
See, God says, «I am cleaning tables right now. I am cleaning up someone’s heart right now; I’m doing some surgery right now. If you jump in as the missionary to save their soul right now, I didn’t call you to be their saviour; I called you to be their husband and wife. Let me be their saviour so you can step into a healed relationship, not picking up the aftermath of someone else’s mess.»
There was a reason why the sign said wait, and I was being taught a very important lesson right there—that my impatience, my fear of missing out, my fear of being overlooked, my fear of not getting in.
Waiting on God's Timing
See, someone right now is afraid they’re not going to get the promotion; so, you’re manipulating, right? You’re thinking of strategies and ideas of how to get the boss to promote you, and God says, «Just trust the process.» Right now, our athletic building is almost finished, and I’m so excited to get in there. It was supposed to be finished two months ago, and you know what?
I’m so thankful for the people that have been working really hard on it. It’s not their fault; we’ve had snow days, ice days, and we’ve had some permitting issues with the City of Tulsa. I love you, City of Tulsa; we pray for you! We want favour with you; we’re on the same team. We’re in this together. We’re doing everything we can to make sure we get those permits right. But I would much rather step into a building that’s finished and has the permits ready than try to run in there too soon and use it, and actually get into something that’s not ready yet.
My son was watching me shave the other day; I need to shave again. I’ve got 200 hairs—I’m growing a beard right now—and he was watching me shave, and he said, «Can I have that razor?» I said, «You’re too young to use it; you don’t have any hair on your face.» He said, «Well, I really want to use that razor.»
I said, «You will one day, but if I give it to you too soon…» See, I took my dad’s razor when I was seven. I was really excited to use his razor and ended up cutting my cheek and shaving half my eyebrow. It took a couple of years to grow my eyebrow back. I still have a little bald spot in there that I hide.
But you know, I think about how sometimes we try to take something before it’s time. At the root of impatience is fear. By the way, the definition of impatience—let me give you the definition of impatience—impatience is irritability; shortness with people; restless behaviour.
The Prodigal Son and Restlessness
Think about the prodigal son, who wanted to leave his dad’s house. He was so impatient; he said, «I want the money that’s coming to me when you die—my inheritance money—while you’re still alive, because I just want to go and do what I want to do. I want what I want, and I want it now!» Right? It’s the instant gratification generation. «I need what I need, and I need it now, and I can’t live without it.»
His dad gave it to him, and he squandered his dad’s wealth on prostitutes, on pleasure, on wild parties, on all kinds of stuff that was a waste of his life until he ended up in the pigpen. His dad was waiting on the front driveway to hug his son.
I’m so thankful that God is patient with us even when we are impatient in our lives. God never runs out of mercy, never runs out of grace; He’s always on the front porch ready to welcome the prodigal son back home. But the prodigal son had a restless spirit.
Impatient people have a restless spirit; I’m always frustrated, agitated, edgy, snappy, annoyed at people, exasperated by people. I get disgruntled when I have to wait in traffic or when I have to wait on people’s maturity. By the way, you’re maturing too! My six-year-old was throwing a fit the other day, and I was getting so frustrated with this fit. Ashley looked at me and said, «He’s six; he can throw a fit. You’re 39; you can’t be six.»
I was like, «Okay, okay, I got it.» How many of you are still a work in progress with me? Alright, don’t leave your pastor hanging right now; we’re still growing. I just said, «Lord, help me be patient.»
Greek Words for Patience
The Greek words for patience, throw it up there on the screen if you guys have it. I’m trying to find it in my word; oh, there it is: *hypomonē*. It means to persist and to endure under pressure. And then *makrothymia* is the second word in Greek, and it means long-suffering. It’s not just patience, but it’s also the ability to handle suffering.
Because we read our Bibles, and I’m a Word of Faith guy, and I’m like, «I’m going to have my best days every day; no hard days, no difficulties.» But then I read in the same New Testament, «Arm yourselves to suffer as Christ suffered.»
The truth is we are going to walk through hard times. Even in our best days, you can have your best days and also be walking through your hardest days at the same time—it’s all a matter of perspective. Job learned not to throw in the towel through his hardship; he stepped into his best days.
Joseph learned through his hard days, his suffering, his rejection, living in the prison, that he would step into his best days. You will walk through some hard suffering times; patience is the ability to stick it out.
Fruit of the Spirit
Galatians 5:22 talks about the fruit of the Spirit that is patience, and this is what it says: «But the Holy Spirit…» This is where patience comes from; the Holy Spirit produces this kind of fruit. I was in Walmart the other day, and I was walking past these fruit trees that they’re selling. They had all kinds of different fruit trees.
Now, I talked to the lady that was right by the fruit trees, and she said, «Don’t plant it right now, because it’s freezing outside.» I was like, «True.» She was like, «It’s ice and snow.» I said, «I’m not going to plant it.»
She says, «Even once it’s time and ready to be planted and the soil is ready, you’ve got to make sure you’ve got good soil to plant it in.» I said, «Yeah, and there’s no fruit on the tree.» She said, «Yeah, it’s going to take some time for the fruit to grow.» I was getting a sermon out of this!
Okay, so you’ve got to plant it, you’ve got to have good soil, you’ve got to have water, you’ve got to have sunlight, and then it takes time. We read this scripture and go, «Man, I got saved; why don’t I operate in all the fruits of the Spirit 100%?» God says, «You are being sanctified; you are growing in this. It’s going to take time to develop those apples, those oranges, those grapes. It’s going to take time to grow the fruit.»
But as the Holy Spirit continues to have ownership in your life, as you continue to yield to the Holy Spirit, He begins to produce in you love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. That word *produce*, I think about movie producers. We have a man in our church who’s producing a movie, and I was talking to him about the process.
He said as a producer there is a long process before you get to what you’re producing. He said, «I started with the script four years ago. Then the script went through multiple phases of rewriting, changing, and editing. Then it came down to finding investors who would invest in this film. Then it came to finding actors in Tulsa and other parts of Oklahoma. Then it came time to shoot the film; they just finished shooting it. Now they’re in the editing process.»
He said, «It’s been four and a half years between when this began and when it’s finally going to be in front of people’s eyes.»
In the same way, the Holy Spirit is a producer in your life, and what you don’t see happening right now is that He is developing in you the fruit that people can’t see yet. You may not even see it, but He’s working on it.
Patience Through Testing
In James 1:3, it says, «For you know that when your faith is tested, your patience has a chance to grow.» So let it grow, let it grow. Don’t hold it back anymore! Come on, Elsa, come on, Anna, let it grow! For when your endurance and patience is fully developed, you will be mature.
We’re talking about spiritual maturity. Patience is, I think, the older we get; patience doesn’t just come to you with age; it comes as you continue to surrender spiritually to God. You can get older and still be a disgruntled, grumpy old man—they made a movie about guys that were grumpy in their old age—Grumpier Old Men, right?
You can still be impatient with people, still be impulsive. You have to make a decision: I’m going to spiritually grow up, I’m going to spiritually let tests and trials produce in me patience.
Clothing Ourselves in Patience
Colossians 3:12 says that we are to clothe ourselves as God’s holy people, loved by God. He calls us to clothe ourselves with tender-hearted mercy. Every day, I need to put on a jacket that says, «Be merciful to people; be merciful to myself. Don’t kick myself; don’t beat people up.»
Put on a shirt that says, «Kindness.» I’m wearing an invisible shirt today; I’ve got my cowboy shirt on, my cowboy sweater—kindness. And put on the pants of humility and put on the shoes of gentleness and walk in; carry that hat of patience wherever you go. Be patient; stay clothed in patience.
Verse 13 says, «Make allowance for each other’s faults; forgive anybody that offends you.» In the offended state of America right now, in the offended state of the world right now, make the decision to be unoffendable. Let that be a character trait in you that man, I am a hard person to offend because I need God’s grace, and I give God’s grace to everybody I encounter. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you too forgive others.
Practical Ways to Grow in Patience
I want to give you a couple of practical ways to be patient with people when you are tempted to react. Pause; the first step is to pause. «How do I grow in patience practically?» I pause. Everybody just pause for a second—yeah, there you go, pause. Don’t react. Don’t try to speed up slow drivers in Oklahoma. Just pause.
Number two: pray. We would get ourselves into less trouble if we prayed for people more than we shared our opinions, more than we snapped back. When I am tempted to react, I’m going to pray, «Lord, I pray right now for patience. Lord, I pray for that person right now. Bless that person that feels like sandpaper in my life, that is rubbing out all the rough edges in my life. Lord, I pray for people.»
Number three: put yourself in their shoes. When you’re having a hard time being patient with people, remind yourself you’ve never walked a day in their shoes. I don’t know all the battles they’re facing right now, so I’m going to put myself in their shoes.
Number four: remember that you have hard days and you need grace from others too.
A Story of Needed Grace
I remember going to this church conference the year after my dad passed in 2010, and I was waiting in line to speak to this big well-known pastor. He was someone I admired; I listened to all of his podcasts, I read his books, I looked up to him. I had been waiting in line for an hour to talk to this pastor.
The conference was over, and I could tell he was kind of tired, so I thought I’d be real quick. Finally, it was my turn. I get up to this guy, and I said, «Hey!» He was like, «Yes?» I go, «Man, I really look up to you,» and he goes, «What can I do for you?» Ouch—that just hurt! I don’t know; I just wanted you to be like my bro. I thought he was my best friend in my head, you know?
We’d never met before, but I’d been listening to all of his messages. I’m like, «Man, you’re incredible!» He said, «Anything I can do for you?» I said, «Ouch.»
I was so sensitive to anything he said. He said, «I’ve got to go now.» I said, «Can I get a picture with you?» He said, «I’ve got to leave,» and I didn’t even get a picture with this guy! I was so mad; I was like, «I’m done with this guy; I am cancelling this guy.»
I was so mad at this pastor who blew me off. Two months later, I found out his dad was dying of cancer during that time. He was leaving to get to the hospital to be by his dad’s bedside, and he was tired because he had poured out preaching that whole week, and he was just ready to go see his father.
Here I was being impatient with this person. Can I tell you? Everybody needs grace—everybody! Whatever they’re in, I’m telling you, everybody needs grace, and so do they.
So here’s my fifth point on how to be patient with people: give others the same grace God has given you.
Patience in Marriage Through Grief
I heard about a couple who thought they had a great marriage for 24 years. They never had a fight; the only thing they disagreed about at times was what movie they were going to watch on Friday night. They had eight kids. On their 25th anniversary—a true story—on the 25th anniversary, their daughter tragically died.
After 25 years of never fighting, the fights exploded in the house. The wife would rip into the husband; she was angry at God, she was angry at her husband, she was angry at herself. Out of the raw emotion of burying a child, she became a monster in the house.
She said, «I was so overwhelmed with shame that I made my husband want to divorce me—how bad I treated him. I just wanted him to divorce me, because I couldn’t even live with myself.» Out of it, he would react at times. She said, «Two or three years of this mess, just back and forth, just screaming in the house, name-calling, everything—you name it, breaking plates.»
She said, «My husband changed; something happened in him.» She said, «I can only say it now because we’ve walked through it. They’ve now been married 30 plus years, but she said he came across the Book of James, and he was reading James 1:19, and he circled it.»
James 1:19 says, «Dear brothers and sisters, understand this: you must all be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry.» He realised he had been getting angry at his wife in her raw emotions; he was reacting, and he knew it was creating World War III in their house.
So he decided, «I’m going to try this out for the next six months. I’m not going to share my opinion when she says what she says. I’m going to sit there and listen and bite my tongue, and I am going to pray every day for patience with my wife.» She said, «As he began to listen, his listening was healing her heart. His willingness to hold his tongue was leading her to repentance.»
She said, «It came time where I realised how much of a monster I was, and I repented to my husband. We went to our pastor, renewed our vows; our marriage made it through that crazy season. We’re now celebrating 30 plus years.»
She said, «I was sitting with my mother-in-law or my grandmother-in-law, my husband’s grandmother in her late 90s. She sat with me and held my hands and said, ‘You guys have a really good marriage.’» She laughed and said, «Not without a lot of pain that we walked through these last five years.»
She said, «Nana interlocked her fingers and held her hands tightly and said, ‘Oh yes, it’s the fire that melts the metal together; it’s the fire that bonds the metal together. Be patient, bearing with one another in love—even in that crucible.’ For in that crucible, God is doing something deep in your heart, in your life.»
Waiting on the Lord
I like A and I like Z; I’m not a huge fan of the element of patience. I like to begin things, and I like to end things. I don’t like to wait for things, waiting through the process, but this is where God is doing His deepest work—in the waiting season.
Proverbs 16:32 says, «Better to be a patient person than to be a warrior; better a man with self-control than a man who takes a city.» What does He mean by that? Patience is the ability to wait. Good things come to those who wait. We often misunderstand patience as someone who is slow, lazy, or weak—not doing anything. But patient people are wise. Patient people understand that God is doing something.
How do I grow in my patience? Isaiah 40:31 says, «Those who wait on the Lord, those who hope in the Lord, those who spend time in the presence of God, they will mount up with wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary; they will walk and not be faint.» It is in the presence of God that patience is grown. It’s when I’m praying; it’s when I’m worshipping. This is how I fight my battles.
Personal Waiting Seasons
I remember running around the campus late at night, crying out to God, saying, «God, what am I supposed to do with my life?» I didn’t know what purpose I was supposed to fulfil. I kept switching my major and switching my minor, and I would find myself running across the street before this building was built.
They were in the middle of constructing this building, but there was no roof, no ceiling, and no chairs—just a concrete pad and an elevated spot for a stage. I still remember I would come and run in 2004, 2005, 2006, as this was being built. I would sit on this stage and look at the stars and say, «God, what am I supposed to do? I’m the youngest kid in my family; I want to help my dad; I want to do something with music; I want to do something with ministry; I want to do something with business; I don’t know what to do!»
In that same time, I was asking God for a wife; I was saying, «God, I really want to meet the one—where’s the one? Where’s she at?» More than God was trying to help me meet the one or find the one, God was trying to help me become the one that would be ready for the right one down the road. God was more focused on who I was becoming than what I was waiting for.
All of us in this room are going to wait; the question is not «Will you wait?» The question is, «How will you wait?» All of us will have waiting seasons: waiting on who we’re going to marry, waiting for kids, waiting to buy a house, waiting for a house to sell, waiting to have grandkids, waiting to become a grandparent, waiting for kids to get a scholarship, waiting for a job. We will all have to wait. The question is not «Will you wait?» It’s «How will you wait?» Will you wait with trust in God?
I can be more patient when I trust that my Father knows what’s best. It was in this place that God was developing a trust factor. «Those who wait upon the Lord, those who wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength.»
Joshua's Long Wait
When God gave Joshua the dream of taking the Promised Land, he gave it to him when he was 40 years old. By the way, if you’re 40, you are at the start of something great. This is my 40th year—I turned 40 in August. I’m speaking that over myself: it’s my Promised Land.
The only problem is Joshua got the dream when he was 40, but he didn’t get to step into the dream until he was 80. I don’t claim that; I’m going to step in sooner—no wilderness season for me in Jesus’ name. But Joshua got the dream, and then Moses said, «I’ve got some bad news, Joshua. God just said we’re going to wander in the wilderness for 40 years.»
Joshua was like, «Snap!» Maybe he said something worse—“Crud! I was ready for this! I’m in my prime; I’ve got the energy, I’ve got the strength!» This is the season for me to take the ground that I’m supposed to take. The violent take it by force! Moses said, «You’ve got to wait, and it’s not going to be easy. You’re going to wait with some people who are very difficult to wait with. People that will irritate you, people that will be like a thorn in your flesh to work with. But if you wait, and if you wait well, you’ll be the guy to take us into the Promised Land.»
Moses told Joshua this so Joshua would wait. In Exodus 33, Moses would go into the tent of meeting to talk to God during the wilderness because that was the only way Moses got through the wilderness—he would talk to God. If you’re going through seasons that are difficult, talk to God; pray to God; stay in the presence of God.
The Bible says Moses would leave the tent of the tabernacle, and Joshua would stay. Exodus 33:11—“Joshua would stay.» It was in the staying, the patient place of prayer and worship and in the presence of God that Joshua had the courage to keep waiting and trusting. He would remain in the tent of meeting; he wouldn’t leave. This is where patience has grown.
Why Patience Matters
Let me give you a couple of last thoughts. Patience is powerful. Number one: it is essential to have patience for a life of obedience. I’m going to leave these points on the screen; I’ll go through them fast, but you can take a screenshot. If you’re going to obey God, you’ll need patience.
Number two: it’s vital in every good relationship. Anytime you see a healthy marriage, somebody has been practising patience. Anytime you see good relationships, good friendships, people are being patient with each other; they’re making allowances for each other, they’re being graceful with each other.
Number three: patience gains the respect of others watching your life; your patience is a testimony to other people.
A Testimony of Patience
I’ll never forget being across the street at the grand opening of something that I didn’t even know was happening. I was sitting on the grass in front of the praying hands in a suit and tie. I was told to show up there with my mum—they wanted to honour our family. So, I was sitting there next to her, and next to me was Dr Mark Rutland.
At that time, he was the president of ORU; next to him was Mark Green, David Green, the Green family that owns Hobby Lobby, Mardel’s. Mark came over to me; he said, «Paul, did I ever tell you what your dad’s part to play was in you making it through a very hard season?» I said, «No.»
He said, «In 2007, the university almost closed down because they were $52 million in debt.» I said, «I remember! I was a senior at the university.» He said, «Yeah, your dad stepped in as an interim president.» I said, «I remember that!»
When he stepped in, a lot of people were afraid; students left the university because they were told accreditation would not happen; their credits wouldn’t count. He said, «Your dad was in that season at a very hard time for the campus. He asked the whole campus to pray for a miracle.»
I said, «I remember; I was in the room!» He said, «I called your dad on behalf of my dad, David Green, and your dad was at the dentist.» He said, «Billy Joe, I need to meet you right now!» Your dad was like, «I’m going to get my teeth worked on at the dentist; I can’t really talk.»
So, he said, «Where’s the dentist office?» He goes there, and he sits with him at the dentist office. He tells him, «We’re going to pay all the debt off for you, all $52 million!»
My dad was like, «Praise the Lord!» because the dentist was in his mouth, so he couldn’t really talk. My dad was crying because he had laid down his life for that university. Mark said, «After that, we told your dad it’s not going to be easy, but we’re going to help the school get back on its feet again.
The reason we trust you is because you got Victory out of debt in 1985. We’ve watched your story; you waited to build this auditorium until you had the cash as a church to build it. You were patient. Your patience of renting out a space for 25 years was a testimony of your willingness to persevere. You carried a dream in your heart; we’ve watched you, Billy Joe. You’ve walked in integrity with the finances of Victory.»
We trust you that you can help us with the finances to get ORU back on track again. Mark looked over to me; he said, «That’s why we’re naming the street,» and he pulled this curtain off, «We’re naming the street Billy Joe Dy Circle.» He said, «We’re going to name it because this street is the bridge between ORU and Victory. Your dad’s life was like a bridge laid down, and he didn’t die in vain; he died for a purpose.»
Man, I cried. I was like, «I didn’t know that it was my dad’s patience that was part of the testimony for the debt freedom of ORU today.»
More Reasons Patience Is Key
Number four: patience is a strong form of protection. If God says no, it’s not because He’s trying to rob you of joy and happiness; it’s because He’s saying, «Wait! I might have something better, or I might still be working on this situation.» God is not trying to rob you of something just because He hasn’t given it to you. Delay does not mean denial; trust that God’s no right now is not a no forever. That God is actually saving you potentially from disaster.
Number five: patience values timing and decision-making. Patience values that you’re not in a rush; you’re praying, you’re waiting, you’re pausing, you’re listening to God, you’re getting wise counsel.
Number six: patience is essential in settling disputes. If you’re in a fight with somebody, just be patient. Just be patient; time has a way of working on people’s hearts, bringing people back to a table of reconciliation.
Number seven: patience is essential to persevering in prayer. When Elijah was praying for rain to fall, it says he would get down on his knees and say, «Lord, bring the rain!» He would ask his servant, «Do you see anything?» This happened six times in a row; he kept on praying, kept on praying.
There are certain prayers that may not be answered in a day or in a week or in a month or even in a year. Some prayers, like the room you’re sitting in, take 25 years before they come to pass, but don’t stop praying. Patience is essential to persevering in prayer.
Number eight: patience is the key to success in your life. Slow and steady wins the race—the tortoise and the hare, right? The rabbit thought, «I’m going to win this race by going fast!» Right at the start? But the tortoise just kept on taking one step at a time. Slow and steady, patience is the key to success in your life.
Number nine: patience creates a sense of stability in your life. The more patient you are, the more we all need more patience. We all need more patience; it leads us to places of stability. Our world has way too many unstable situations, unstable leaders, unstable people. We need more stability in our world today; it’s going to come through trusting in God, praying, waiting, being patient.
Number ten: patience enables us to endure suffering. You can get through anything with a patient spirit.
Enduring Through Patience
I remember listening to a Holocaust survivor at our church—he came and spoke for the night to honour Israel several years back. We need to do another night to honour Israel in our church this year, but we’ll do that; hold me to that, Mum, okay? Sharon Dy is a great picture of patience over there, but this Holocaust survivor gets up on stage and he begins to describe the horrors of the Holocaust—what they went through at the hands of Hitler’s regime.
He said what got me through it was not thinking, «One of these days we’re going to get out of here.» It wasn’t optimism that got me through; optimism doesn’t help people for the long term in getting through things. He said you need something deeper than optimism; you need something stronger than optimism to get through hard seasons.
You need a perseverance that can only come by the Holy Spirit—a perseverance that is tested and trusted; a perseverance, a patient Job-like waiting, knowing that God is still on the throne. Even if I don’t get out tomorrow, or next week, or next year, that God still has a purpose for me.
By the way, patience is not laziness; patience is finding purpose even while you’re waiting on things to happen. Patience enables you to endure suffering but also to make the most of your suffering.
Number eleven: patience is essential to peace, joy, and contentment. People who are constantly discontent are impatient; impatient people will never be happy enough. But patience gives you peace, gives you joy, gives you contentment. You may not be where you want to be, but you’re not where you used to be. You may not have what you want to have, but you have more than you used to have. If you have less than you used to have, you’re doing better than you used to be. I’m going to find a way to get there; you’re going to get there.
Number twelve: patience allows us to see that God is working—that God is working. Paul the Apostle, while he was in prison, wrote Philippians. In Philippians 4 he said, «Whether I am abased or abounding, whether I am hungry or whether I am sitting at a buffet, I’ve learned the secret to be content. I’ve learned happiness. I’ve learned that God is working all things together for good. I’ve learned that my God shall supply all of my needs according to His riches in glory in Christ Jesus.» Patience allows us to trust that God is working it all for good.
Number thirteen: patience is an attribute of God; He is patient with us.
Closing Prayer and Worship
Would you stand to your feet? I want to pray for you today; I want to pray for patience. Lord, I just pray right now for every man, every woman, every teenager, young adult, grandparent, every person that needs patience. Maybe they are tested; maybe they needed patience just to sit through my sermon about patience today. Maybe they needed patience on the way to church today; maybe they need patience with the people on their road today. Maybe they need patience with themselves.
I just pray right now, God, that you would help us to receive, Lord, that gift of patience. You said, «Those who wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength.» God, I pray, Lord, that we would continue to cultivate the fruit of patience in our lives. Help us, God, not to be in a rush to get out of this service—not to be in a rush to run from one thing to the next with a busy, restless spirit.
Help us, God, to cultivate stability. Help us, God, to cultivate patience. Help us to stay planted like a tree, planted by the river, bearing fruit in each season. Help us to trust that you’re working even when we don’t see that you’re working. Help us to know, God, that you see all the hard work we do; you see the tears we cry. «Those who sow in tears will reap a harvest of joy.»
I pray, God, for every person that’s waiting on a dream, waiting to get married, waiting to have kids, waiting for a child to come back to Christ, waiting for reconciliation in their family, waiting for a health change—something in their body that they’ve been praying for, a physical thing they’ve been battling against, a thorn in their flesh.
I pray for every person in the room that’s just been in the secret place, and they’ve been seeking you, God; they’ve been laying things at the altar. You’ve heard their tears; you’ve heard their prayers. But, Lord, they are struggling right now to keep waiting. I pray that today, God, you would renew their strength in your presence.
I pray for the husband that’s standing for his marriage; I pray for the wife that’s standing for her husband. I pray for the parents that are standing for a child today. I pray for the praying mother that’s standing for a prodigal daughter, a prodigal son. I pray in Jesus’ name for the grandparents in the room and the grandkids in the room.
I pray, Lord God, that today you would strengthen our feeble arms. God, strengthen our hands to hold tightly to the promises of God, to not give up, to not grow weary in well-doing, but, Lord, to keep on praying, to keep on worshipping, to keep on trusting, to keep on circling Jericho. God, to keep on trusting in you.
With heads bowed and eyes closed, if you’re here today and this word is for you, I want you to just raise your hand. I want to pray for every person here today that has been in a battle with patience, and God is speaking to you today; He’s speaking. Yeah, hands going up all over this room. Yes, sir, yes, ma’am; yes, sir, yes, yes, yes, yes.
You’re saying, «Lord, help me, help me be patient in this process. Help me to trust you in this process. Help me, God, help me not to lose heart; help me not to settle. Help me not to compromise; help me, God, to keep my guard up; help me, Jesus, help me be patient.»
If you raised your hand or wanted to raise your hand, I want you to just leave your seat and come and meet me at this altar. Let’s just have an altar of patience today; let’s have an altar of waiting on God, trusting in God. Bring it to the altar. If there’s a dream you’ve been waiting on, bring it to the altar. If there’s a prayer you’ve been waiting on, bring it to the altar. If there’s a burden you’ve been carrying, bring it to the altar.
If there’s something you’re dealing with right now, if there’s a person that’s just been making life difficult for you, bring it to the altar. Bring that person to the altar in your heart; just choose to lay it down.
I know it hurts; I know it’s painful; I know it’s not easy. God’s not saying it’s going to be easy, but God says, «My grace is sufficient for you.» Whatever you’re walking through, whatever the trial is, whatever the affliction is, whatever the storm is. And if you’re here today and you need to get right with Jesus—if you need to surrender, if you need to make Him Lord of your life—come and meet us at the altar. Come and meet us at the altar; the mercy of God is here; the grace of God is here; the salvation of God is here. If you need to repent of sin, come and meet us at the altar. If you need to let Jesus be Lord of your life, come and meet us at the altar.
Go ahead and just lead us in that worship song. Let’s just begin to worship; let’s shift our focus to God today. Jesus, Jesus. So, wait on the Lord, God. Wait on the Lord; yeah, He sees you, He hears you. Wait, I say, wait on the Lord, wait on the Lord; He will renew your strength.
So, when I say wait on the Lord, wait on the Lord; He will renew your strength. So wait, I say, wait on the Lord; just wait on the Lord; He will renew your strength. So wait, I say, wait on the Lord, wait on the Lord; He will renew your strength.
So, wait, I say, «They that wait on the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles; they shall walk and not get weary; they will run and not faint.» That’s what happens! Anyway, yeah. They that wait on the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up upon wings like eagles and soar. They shall walk and not get weary; they will run and not faint. That’s what happens when you wait!
Yeah, they that wait, they that wait on the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up upon wings like an eagle and soar; they shall walk and not get weary; they will run and not faint. That’s what happens; that’s what happens when you wait!
Yeah, they that wait on the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up upon wings like an eagle and soar; they shall walk and not get weary; they will run and not faint. That’s what happens; that’s what happens when you wait! Thank you, Jesus! Wait on the Lord, He will renew your strength.
So wait, I say, I’m going to wait on you, I’m going to wait on you. I’ve tasted your goodness; I trust in your promise! I’m going to wait on you, I’m going to wait on you. I’ve tasted your goodness; I’ll trust in your promise! I’m going to wait on you, I’m going to wait on you. I’ve tasted your goodness; I’ll trust in your promise!