Paul Daugherty - Words that Change the World
Summary
Pastor Paul teaches from Ephesians 4:29 that our words carry immense power—they can bring life or death, encouragement or deep hurt. He urges believers to let only good, helpful, and encouraging words come out of their mouths, because negative words can overpower thousands of positive ones and shape lives for years. The key takeaway is to intentionally speak life, love, and God’s truth over ourselves and others to truly change the world one person at a time.
See full text below.
Words That Can Change the World
Well, we have been in a series all about relationships and how we can strengthen one another. If you have a Bible, go to Ephesians chapter 4. Ephesians chapter 4, woo! I want to title this message “Words That Can Change the World.” Your words have power; your words can change the world one person at a time. Ephesians 4:29: “Let no foul or abusive language, let no corrupt talk, let no idle words come out of your mouth. Let everything you say be good and helpful.”
The Convicting Power of Words
This is already convicting some of us in the room. We are already ready for that altar call to repent for words we said on the way to church today. Words that we say—let everybody say, “Let everything you say be good, be helpful, so that your words will be an encouragement to those who hear them.” I’ll never forget hearing this story about a very famous TV producer. At the time—this was in the early 90s—he was probably the most famous and wealthy TV producer of his time.
He had just created a show that had gone viral; the whole world was kind of loving this show, watching it on TV. He showed up to the New York Yankees baseball stadium, and the whole stands started spotting him. They put him on the camera on the big jumbo screen, and people started shouting his name. They started shouting the show he created. He created a show called Seinfeld—kind of a famous show. It was Larry David.
One Negative Word
So, Larry David is sitting at this Yankee Stadium, 50,000 screaming fans chanting, “Larry! Larry! We love Seinfeld!” It was so encouraging. He was just getting filled up, just getting excited, right? Just feeling good about himself. Well, as he was leaving the stadium, he tells this story on a late-night show about what happened. He said, “I was leaving the stadium, and one guy, getting into his minivan, starts shouting at Larry.
He heckles him and starts saying, ‘Larry, you stink! Your show is terrible! You are the worst TV producer!’ He just starts saying the meanest stuff.” And Larry is looking at him, kind of watching, then gets in his car. He said for the next several months, he just couldn’t get those negative words out of his mind. He said that was the only thing he thought about—those words, “You stink.”
That is critics' math: one negative word can silence 50,000 screaming fans, 50,000 encouraging words get silenced by one negative, foul, abusive word. You might say, “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me.” That is false; that is a big lie. Words hurt. Words are powerful. Words shape who we are.
Words Shape the World
Words change the world. Words can start wars, and words can end wars. We’ve been watching our president sign executive orders with words—over 50 executive orders have been signed. I’m not trying to get political right now, but let me just say this: whether you like it or not, those orders are going into effect immediately. He’s like, “From this day on, we are done wasting money on studying cats in Argentina. We are done wasting money on researching bubblegum for $100 million. What are we doing with taxpayer money?”
But here’s the point: what’s he doing? He is changing things with his words. You can change things with your words. You could choose today to have an executive order over your mouth and say, “From this day forward, no more foul language. For every mean word I say about myself or somebody else, I’ve got to put $10 in the jar and give it away to somebody.” That’ll stop you from talking badly right there. Y’all like, we need to up that—maybe $20, $100—but we need to change what we’re speaking. Paul says, “Be careful with the words you speak; words have power.”
The Balloon Illustration
I want to show you just a quick clip about the power of your words. Check this out. When you hear encouraging words, it’s kind of like blowing up a balloon. “Lise, will you blow this balloon up for me?” Every time you hear an encouraging word, it’s kind of like one blow into a balloon. Go ahead. Someone says, “Lise, you look great today!” Great!
All right, that’s one blow that feels good, right? He’s got a little bit of air feeling good. Louis, those are nice shoes. Give it another blow, right? You look great! I mean, your vest is so nice, and you do a great job at work. You’re such a good employee, man. And the way you treat your family is so kind. Keep going, right? It’s so nice! But all it takes is just one negative word, right? One mean person to come along, one needle in your life.
Some of y’all have a thorn in your flesh. Don’t look at them right now; don’t look at her. How many of y’all know there’s some needles in your life? There are some people that just like to pop. You might want to move that away from your face just for a second, right? Because all it takes is, “You idiot! What were you thinking? That was so dumb! What is wrong with you?” It always takes one negative word, and what took so long to blow up, right? We fill up buckets, and we make people feel so encouraged, and all it takes is one critical word. Because words aren’t weighed equally, thank you, Louis. Words aren’t weighed equally. You could say 10 positive words, and they’re strong, but one negative word can cancel out 10 positive words.
Life and Death in the Tongue
Words change the world. Our words have the power to release; this is what Proverbs 18:21 says—our words have the power to release life and death. Life and death are in the power of the tongue. My question for you is, what are you releasing? What words are you releasing into the atmosphere? Right now in our nation, one sentence spoken at the right time can actually make you feel amazing, or one sentence spoken at the wrong time can actually send you into a spiraling discouraging season.
They just did a study on bullying in schools in America; 160,000 kids miss school every single day in the United States due to the fear of verbal harassment. Words are impacting students by the thousands. Ninety percent of fourth through eighth graders report being victims of verbal abuse at school, either at school or online. Social media, whether it’s on Instagram or TikTok or Snapchat, whatever it is, people have this fear of being talked down to. Mean words are coming my way, and I don’t even want to face it. Hurtful words can impact you for the rest of your life.
James on the Tongue
James chapter 3, the half-brother of Jesus, had a lot to say about our words. He said in verse 2, “Listen, don’t be in a rush to become a teacher, my friends. Teaching is a highly responsible work.” He says, “We all stumble in many ways,” which is good, because the truth is all of us in this room have stumbled in some way. All of us have missed it. Any imperfect people in the room today? Have you ever just wanted to put your foot in your mouth or just reverse the words you said?
I remember one lady came to our church; she was a friend of ours, and I knew she had been pregnant for the last several months. I walked up to her and said, “Hey, when is your baby due?” She said, “I had the baby last month.” I was like, “Oh, okay, yeah, that’s right.” She was like, “Why did you ask me that?” and I was like, “I don’t know! I was just looking up at the sky and just didn’t even know what was going on. I was thinking about babies—maybe coming soon.” She was like, “What are you—” She was like, “You’re looking at my stomach!” I was like, “No, I wasn’t!” She was like, “You think I need to lose weight?” You think I—? I was like, “No, I didn’t say anything! Can I reverse the words that I just said?” Have you ever wanted to reverse the words you said?
All right, so James says we’ve all stumbled. We’ve all said things we shouldn’t have said; we’ve all missed it in moments. None of us are perfect. But he says this: “If we could, if we could get a hold of our mouth.” He says in verse 3, “We put bits into the mouths of horses to make them obey us. By the mouth, we can direct where the horse goes.”
The Small but Mighty Tongue
He says, “Look at verse 4. Look at the way that ships are directed by a small little rudder driven by strong winds, but that small little rudder directs wherever the pilot wants the boat to go, wherever the captain wants the boat to go. Likewise, the tongue is a small part of the body, but it makes great boasts. Consider what a great forest is set on fire by a small spark.” The tongue can literally set things on fire! It can literally set things on fire!
I remember when Ash and I were in a small little rowboat out on a lake for our anniversary. We were celebrating, I think it was 15 years, 14 years of being married. We were out on this small little lake; we’re in a rowboat, and it started going good, right? It was in a good direction. We took a picture, we were smiling, laughing. But a few minutes into the conversation, out in the middle of that lake, the conversation started going south, and the boat was going nowhere. We sat out in that lake for about two hours till we worked it out. How many of y’all have been there before where conversations start going south? Right? You got to get back to True North. You got to speak love, you got to speak life, you got to apologize and say, “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it like that.”
James says our tongues can get us into a lot of trouble. Our tongue—we’ve got some big mouths in this church! Right? It’s not just mean words; it’s gossip, it’s slander, it’s divisive words. The telephone game: “I heard so-and-so—” Some of us, we kind of camouflage it as like a prayer meeting. “Right, me and my girls, we’re going to have a prayer meeting. Just need to talk about what’s going on. There’s some girls that have been doing some bad stuff; we need to pray for them.” Right? But it’s gossip, it’s slander.
The Fire of the Tongue
James says these words can set a forest fire in people’s lives. You can cancel people’s careers, you can end people’s marriages, you can break up close friends. The tongue is a fire, and it is one of the most untamed parts of our body. He says we can tame animals, but we can’t tame the tongue. He says the same tongue that praises God on Sunday curses other believers on Monday. The same tongue that worships Jesus on Sunday mornings can turn around right after church and say something mean to somebody near you. And James says this is not the way it should be. Everybody say, “Watch your words!”
You know right now for the Super Bowl, they’re charging $8 million for a 30-second commercial tonight during the Super Bowl. Eight million dollars—that’s how expensive it is to get your word in during the Super Bowl. They said it’s the highest it’s ever been because people are recognizing how powerful that moment is, that people are listening to whatever brands are going to be out there for 30 seconds. Eight million dollars!
Well, they asked the NFL players, “What do you want to say to the people that are out there? What do you want to say to your fans?” I thought this week I would kind of listen to what these athletes were saying because I wanted—I was studying on words and the power of our words, and I was so encouraged to hear some of these great athletes that are known on both sides of the field—both teams that are known around the world—using their platform, using their voice to speak life.
Athletes Speaking Life
I want you to hear what they had to say: “Why Jesus? Why not Jesus? He died for us all. It’s not about football; it’s just giving glory to God for the ability to walk around and live my life, have a beautiful family, and I’m going to use that stage and that platform, win or lose. Hey, why Jesus? Jesus is the reason why we are here today, bro. I believe in my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. You know, whatever hard time I’m in, I’d always lean on him. We’re all flesh, you know, we sin, and all sins are equal, you know, but he looks down on us as a proud son, and even when I make mistakes, he still loves me.
My faith is everything, but my favorite verse is Romans 8:18: ‘The pain you have been feeling cannot compare to the joy that is coming.’ My favorite Bible verse, John 13:7: ‘You may not know now, but later you will understand.’ He died for our sins; it’s something that I will always be in debt for. Regardless of where you’re at in your life, you know the fact that God came down, took on flesh, and died for our sins, I think that’s the biggest thing that I hold near and dear to my heart every day. I don’t think it’s ironic; the year that I try to really hone in and grow my faith, I happen to have my best season. I don’t think that’s ironic at all, but my faith is everything, and I know that I wouldn’t be here without the man above.”
Come on! Use your words to point people to Jesus! You know, if life and death are in the power of the tongue, I love that they were using their words; they were using their platform to point children, teenagers. “Hey, I can’t do this without Jesus! Jesus is my Lord and Savior! We need Jesus! I need his forgiveness for my sins!” I love that these pro athletes were recognizing that their words carry weight, and they leveraged that weight to add life into the atmosphere.
Words as Elevators
Your words are like elevators; they’re either taking people up or they are taking people down. Your words are either pointing people to Jesus or repelling people from Jesus. Your words are either attracting an atmosphere of faith in the house or you’re attracting an atmosphere of fear. Your words have power; here’s the other thing I realize—the source of our words is not equally weighed.
The source of our words—right? When I hear something from one of you, if you said, “Man, Paul, you know da da da da,” it would mean something to me. Your words would mean something to me, but if my mom said it, if Ash said it, it’s got a lot more weight to it. Moms, your words weigh about 300 pounds in the house. Your words matter to children. Children to parents—your words matter. I listen to what my kids say to me. If they give me some feedback, I listen to it. If my wife gives me feedback, I really listen to it. Dads, your words might be the heaviest words in the house. Your words weigh about 400, 500 pounds! Ash will tell me sometimes, “Paul, Liam’s listening to you. Benny’s listening to you. Mack is listening to you. You’re the father! Your words impact them in a profound way!”
A Father’s Words
I’ll never forget when my brother told me that when we were little, we were in Royal Rangers, and Royal Rangers is like Boy Scouts for Christian kids, right? So we were in Royal Rangers class, and our commander said, “I want you to write down, boys, what you think about yourself when you look at yourself in the mirror. I want you to write down—” We were like nine and ten. He said, “I want you to write down what you think about yourself, right?”
I need some help here. I need to blow up another balloon, so Juan, you take this one, and as you write down what you think about yourself, this is you encouraging yourself, right? So go ahead and just blow into it. So John starts writing down some thoughts, right? He told me, “Paul, I didn’t really write down much; in fact, put a little less air in there—deflate it, yeah, a little less, a little less—yeah, right there.” He said, “In fact, I saw myself as…” He said, “I wrote down that I felt like I was fat. I felt like I was ugly. I felt like I was a great athlete.” He said, “I felt like I messed up in sports a lot,” and he said, “I wrote down all these negative things about myself.”
And what the Royal Rangers directors didn’t tell us is they asked our dads to also write down on a note what they saw in us. The next week, they told us, they said, “Hey, we want to show you the comparison of what you wrote down about yourself and what your dad wrote down about you.” So they looked at John’s note and they said, “John, you wrote down that you saw yourself this way, but your dad wrote down that he saw you as a champion! Go ahead and blow another one in there—your dad wrote down that he saw you as a mighty man of God! Your dad wrote down that he saw you as strong in the Lord! Your dad wrote down that you’re handsome! Your dad wrote down that he’s proud of you! He didn’t say ‘proud’; your dad wrote down that he loves you!”
What was happening? My dad’s words were overriding my brother’s words because words are not weighted equally. Coaches, teachers—your words matter! Now you might think, “Well, Paul, I got to make people tougher. I got to make people stronger, right? I got to criticize people so they’ll get better.” Ephesians 4:15 says, “Speaking the truth in love,” and people might use this sometimes in an abusive way, “I’m just speaking the truth in love.” Right? “You stink; you got to get better; you’re so weak!” But that’s not the truth in love!
Speaking God’s Truth in Love
When Paul wrote that, he was talking about speaking the truth of God’s Word—not what you see right now in the natural, but what God says in the supernatural over somebody! So when I look at you, I’m not calling you the way I see you; I’m calling you the way God sees you. We don’t make people better by putting them down; we don’t make people better by calling them names; we don’t make ourselves better by speaking mean words over ourselves. In Matthew 12:36, Jesus said we will give an account on the day of judgment for every careless idle word we speak.
We could do an altar call right now, and many of us would need to come down to the altar and say, “Lord, I repent for the careless words that I’ve said, for the mean words that I’ve said,” because our words matter. Jesus says your words matter; your words are shaping the world; your words are shaping the direction of your life and the lives of those that you are speaking into.
So two easy points right here: Speak life over yourself and speak life over others! Speak life over yourself, and speak life over others! You can’t walk in victory if you talk in defeat! You can’t release heaven into your family if you’re always speaking hellish words over people around you! Your words are literally inviting heaven or hell into the house! Your words are inviting heaven or hell into your dorm room. What are you speaking? Our words carry life or death in our tongue.
A Guard Over My Mouth
David said in Psalm 19:14, “May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be pleasing to you, oh God.” You know what David went on to say? He says, “Lord, put a guard over my mouth! Help me to master my big mouth! Help me just put a muzzle over my mouth.” How many of y’all sometimes, that’s you? You just need the Holy Spirit to shut your mouth! You know? Or you need the Holy Spirit to shut somebody else’s mouth next to you, like, “I’d like to put a muzzle on some other people,” right?
Because our words affect—you know, we can blow air into this balloon, right, and I could tie it, and it only goes so far, right? It’s like, “Oh, that’s a nice balloon,” but then it drops because human words can only take us so far. But when I look at these balloons right here, these balloons have something different. They’ve been filled with a different source! They didn’t get their air from people; they got their— you need to tap into a better source!
You see, I got this helium tank right here, and this helium tank not only gives air to fill up the balloon but gives air to make the balloon rise. And here’s the power of God’s Word: when I speak not just my words but God’s Word over my life and over—everybody say, “Speak life!” Speaking life is speaking God’s Word over you and over others, saying, “You are more than a conqueror! Greater is he that is in you than he that is in the world!” Wow, did I just lose a balloon, Drew? We’ll get a BB gun later, and we’ll shoot that down—that’ll be a whole other sermon.
Your words carry power! I’m going to hand this—so these don’t keep on disappearing—I’m going to hand this over to you, Juan, just tie it to that chair. But you know, I think about how some of us in this room have been labeled with so many negative words that people have spoken over us. Some of us have heard so many mean words.
Breaking Off Negative Labels
When Paul said, “Let no unwholesome words come out of your mouth,” I started thinking about this one time I was on the football field, and I saw this coach just demeaning this little kid. Liam, can I borrow you for a moment? I want you to—because you are confident and you are strong—would you be willing to be in this illustration? Okay, I need some help! Daniel, will you put these on? Liam, these are mean words—mean words that sometimes we listen to and we hear.
I heard this father just ripping into this child, right? Just saying, “You loser! Your grandma could run faster than you! You’re worthless!” Just ripping into him! I was mad—in fact, I was like ready to beat this man! I was like—but it wasn’t my son, so I didn’t want to get between him and his son, but I was watching this happen. It wasn’t—you know, it was not good, and I was seeing all these mean words—right? Just getting labeled on this kid, and I was thinking, “This dad doesn’t understand those words are not going to disappear tonight.” Those words will come back to bite that dad 25 years from now because the words we speak, they’re like a boomerang effect!
And maybe you grew up in an abusive house verbally. Maybe all you heard was mean words. Maybe all you heard is, “You’re a weirdo! You’re so strange; you’re so scatterbrained! You never think straight; you’re so not focused! I can’t even talk to you!” Right? Just mean words! And you go, “Paul, we just need to grow up! We just need to have thick skin!” No! We need to stop abusing each other with our words! We need to stop putting each other down! We don’t make America a better country by constantly belittling and name-calling! We don’t make the Kingdom of God a better place here on Earth by name-calling and belittling each other—unbearable! “I can’t even be—you’re just such a pain to me!” Right? All these mean words—they hurt! They affect us.
I remember when I first started preaching, I was getting some negative words and comments from people, emails that people would send, and I felt like it was affecting me; it was making me feel like less. Less than! I couldn’t fill my dad’s shoes; I wasn’t as good as him; I wasn’t as smart as him; I didn’t have the same relatability. He was older than me; he could relate to all the older people, and I was too young, and I was—you know, just green, and I was unseasoned, and I wasn’t a good visionary. And I was carrying so many of these labels, and you know what? I’m going to break these labels off you, Liam! I don’t want you carrying any more of this! You’re a mighty man of God! Daniel and Abby, would you just cover Liam in some better words? You guys got some encouraging words to stick on my son today?
Yeah, this is what we need to do—we need to surround people with some encouraging words, speak some life! Yeah!
The Secret Encourager
But I remember in that season, I started getting these anonymous text messages from a number I didn’t know, and I started getting these text messages after every time I preached. And the text messages would say something like, “You’re doing a great job, Pastor Paul! I’m so proud of you! Tonight’s message, there were three things that stood out to me—da da da da da!” And it was very specific. And then I would text back, “Who is this?” I did this for a couple of weeks. “Who is this? Who’s sending me these texts? This is very nice, but who—who’s sending this?”
And I showed it to my wife; she was like, “Who is sending this to you?” You know, I was like, “I don’t know! I don’t know! I didn’t ask for it! It’s just coming my way! It’s very kind and complimentary and encouraging.” And we were both—I was like, “Did you buy a burner phone, Ashley? Are you doing a whole prank on me? Like, are you sending me text messages from it?” Because it wasn’t a 918 number, but it was saying kind things like, “You are so courageous, Paul! You’re taking such a strong stand; Paul, we love you!” And it was filling my tank. I was like, “Man, I feel encouraged by these words!”
Yeah! Give Liam a big cheer! “You’re a mighty man of God! I love you, Liam!”
All right, you can go sit down! Yeah, yeah, I’ll give you the balloons!
But, guys, these text messages didn’t stop coming. They started coming every single week! This lasted for three years! I couldn’t figure out who it was! I asked my mom, I was like, “Mom, are you sending me text messages from a burner phone?” She was like, “No!” She was like, “I text you every week!” I was like, “I know, but like, on a different number!” She was like, “No!” Then I thought maybe it’s like Stephen Furtick! You know, maybe some preacher out there that’s watching me! I don’t know! I was so confused because these words were—they were speaking life to me! They were canceling negative words, and they were bringing life to me! Our words have the power to shape people!
Words of Love
You know, I was thinking about the words we speak, how powerful they are. And let me just give this to you: it’s not just saying whatever; it’s words of love that matter. Words that change the world—words of love really matter! 1 Corinthians 13 tells us what love looks like. What love looks like? Before you speak to those people around you, ask yourself, “Is this love? Is what I’m about to say love? Would love sound like this?”
Love doesn’t sound like, “You’re such a blankety-blank!” Love doesn’t sound like, “I told you so! I knew you were going to make this mistake!” Love doesn’t sound like, “If you were more like your brother, more like your sister, if you were more like your dad, if you were more like your mom, then things wouldn’t be like this!” Love doesn’t sound like that! Love sounds like this: “I love you! I love you!” Just say that out loud: “I love you!” Some of us in this room—that’s the first time we’ve said that in a long time, but it doesn’t have to be the last time you say it in a long time! You could start saying that every week!
Maybe you grew up in a house where those words were just weird, like, “Oh, we don’t want to be mushy! We don’t want to validate each other! We don’t want to affirm each other! We just need to, you know, keep criticizing each other! We need to be sarcastic with each other!” But that’s not making the world a better place! That’s not making kids better kids!
Love sounds like this: “I love you! I am for you! I am sorry if I hurt your feelings! I forgive you!” Just practice these words: “I’m sorry.” Not everybody said it! I’m just—Kid somebody! “I’m sorry! I’m not sorry!” “I forgive you! I believe in you! I believe in you! You’re doing a good job! You’re doing a good job! You got what it takes! You always look amazing!” Come on, that’s a bonus point for Valentine’s right there!
These words were so encouraging, this person was sending! And the timing of his encouragement mattered! So number two: the timing of your words matters! Don’t just wait to say that once a year! You all remember when you gave your wedding vows? Just nod at me! Man, you’re like, “I think so!” Yeah! Those vows where you said, “I vow to cherish you always! I vow to love you! I vow to serve you! I vow to be faithful to you! I vow to put you first! I vow to deny my selfish desires! I vow to love you as Christ loved the church!” Those words mattered! And when we said those words, they mattered! But don’t wait to say them!
Timing and Tone Matter
Some people say, “Well, I’ll say it when they’re, you know, when they graduate from college! I’ll tell them I’m proud of them! I’ll say it when they turn 60 years old and they get their act together and they’re not, you know, acting like an idiot!” But no, no, no, start speaking life now! Pride waits; love initiates! Pride says, “I’m not going first! You go first!” Pride says, “I’m not apologizing until you apologize!” Pride says, “I’m not encouraging others until they encourage me!” Pride says, “I’m not inviting them to my birthday party till they invite me to theirs!” Pride always keeps us away from people; pride isolates ourselves, and isolation is a setup for destruction!
But love takes the first step: “Hey, I’m sorry! Hey, I just want you to know, you’re doing a great job! Hey, I’m proud of you! I love you! So thankful that you’re in my family! I just want you—I haven’t said this lately, but I just want you to know you’re doing better than you think!”
The timing—say it often! God first loved us; God spoke his word to us, and he spoke a word of love! Thirdly, the tone of your words matters! Love speaks gently! Proverbs 15:1 says, “A gentle answer turns away wrath.” Have you ever been so, like, angry and just hot-tempered, and then someone was so gentle, and it just kind of threw you for a second? You were like, “I wasn’t ready for the gentleness!” Right? Gentleness can deescalate someone’s temper; gentleness can bring down the temperature in the house of anger and bring down the strife.
What if this year you had no strife in your house? What if this year you had no bad words in your house? What if this year you only had a language of love flowing in your house? What would happen if words got better in your life, the words you speak over yourself and the words you speak over others?
So I finally figured out who this texter was! Right? Three years go by. This person has been texting me every week encouraging words. I literally saved the number in my phone, “The Secret Encourager!” They never said a mean word! Even after some of my bad sermons, I had some rough sermons that other people were like, “That was rough! I hope he gets better next week!” But even after those, this texter just always said encouraging words. And you know what it did? It made me want to get better! Encouragement actually makes people rise to their potential!
Everyone Needs Encouragement
Encouragement—you might think, “Well, I don’t want to give it to them if they haven’t earned it, because if they haven’t earned it, that’s only going to make them worse!” And, you know, I got to criticize them to make them better! Quite the contrary! If you actually encourage him and say, “Man, you do a whole lot around this house! I’m so thankful for all you do!” Our encouragement can lead people to become better versions of themselves! Scientists have studied this; researchers have studied this! The statistics are in that encouragement actually makes people better than criticism does!
All right, so this encourager—I find out who it is! I’m praying for people at the altar, and I start praying for people and I noticed this one 18-year-old at the altar. This guy was the son of one of our staff members; his parents were John and Irene Gomez, and his name was Tate! And as I’m praying for him, he goes, “Hey!” I go, “Yeah?” And he goes, and he says one of the words that was in the text message that I just received the week before. He says, “Da da da!” I go, “I’ve heard this before!” And he smiles; he goes, “I’m the secret encourager!” I go, “What, Tate? I was like, ‘You’re the last person I thought would be—I was like, how’d you get my number?’” He goes, “I stole it from my parents’ phone!” He’s like, “I said, ‘Why did you do that?’” He said, “I felt like you needed some encouragement!”
I was like, “Thanks, bro!” He’s like, “I started encouraging you when I was 15 years old!” You don’t have to be old to be a great encourager. You can be young or old to change somebody’s life! And I’ll tell you this: everybody needs encouragement! I used to think that only like insecure people needed encouragement because I felt insecure! But then I got around people that are extremely confident! I was just sitting, you know, two weeks ago with Pastor Bill Johnson, and I was just encouraging him, and he leaned over to me and said, “That means more than you know! Thank you, Paul!”
I said the same thing to Christine Caine and John Bevere, and I thought they don’t need it; they’re not insecure! Like, they’re the most confident people! I even—I was hyping up the hype man, Mike Todd, who’s like such an encourager, and I was saying something to him, and he goes, “Hold on right there, Paul! Let me record this!” He pulls out his phone; he’s recording! I go, “Why are you recording me?” He goes, “Because I need to listen to this later!” I said, “Why?” and he goes, “Because I need to hear these words!” What you’re saying on me! I said, “Mike, you’re awesome! You’re a great friend! You’re so kind and generous!” He said, “I just want you to know these words mean something to me, Paul!”
Attitude Behind the Words
Our words have power, friends! We can change the world with our words! And then fourthly, the attitude behind your words matters! Are you speaking healing words with a healthy heart? Romans 12:9 says, “Love is sincere.” It’s sincere! There’s no fakeness to it! We’re not just saying it to manipulate somebody! I’m not just flattering somebody so I can get on their good side so they’ll give me something! I’m not saying it with strings attached!
The attitude behind my words—my words will lose power if my attitude and body language are not in alignment with what I’m saying! If I’m like, “You’re doing a great job, Ashley! You look great!” Sometimes we’re saying something, and then we’re rolling our eyes! “Sure, I’ll clean up my room, Mom!” “Yes, ma’am!” You know? And we’re just rude! And I’m like, “I’m glad you said yes, ma’am! I’m glad you said you’ll clean up your room! But can you say it with a better attitude? Attitude check!”
So we need to watch ourselves because our words—our words are changing! I’ll never forget 14 years ago after my father passed, my brother came up to me. John said, “Paul, I want you to know something.” He said, “Even though I’m older than you and even though I like doing ministry and I feel called to help whatever happens next at Victory after my dad passed, he said, ‘I just want you to know that I see you as my pastor.’” I said, “What?” I’ll never forget this!
He hasn’t said that multiple times, but I do remember him saying that; he still says it! But you know it’s not like every week, but he said, “I want you to know you’re my pastor.” I said, “John, you don’t have to say that!” He said, “No! You are! And he said, ‘I honor you.’” He’s like, “I know you’re my younger brother, but I honor you.” And he said, “I want to help you.”
And he said, “You remember when we played football?” I said, “Yeah.” He said, “You remember how during practices, you know, they would put the first-string defense against the third-string offense?” I was like, “Yes! I remember that!” He said, “Do you remember how we used to clobber you?” I had to get my neck and back checked on by the doctor after practices because they would put the top defense against us third-string guys! He’s like, “You remember that?” I was like, “Yes, I remember! Get to the point! What are you trying to say?”
He’s like, “You remember how the coach would put you in in the last few minutes of the game to play quarterback?” I was like, “Yes, this is humiliating! Why are you reminding me of this?” He’s like, “Because I want you to remember one thing!” I said, “What?” He said, “You remember how I was the one that snapped the ball to you?” I said, “Yes!” He said, “Do you remember how I told you, ‘Paul, I’m going to run in front of you, and I’ll block every hit that’s coming for you! I’ll take it so that you can score a touchdown?’” I said, “Yes!”
He said, “I want to do that for you now, for the church! I want to take whatever hits come your way!” I’ll never forget that! I’ll never forget that his words spoke life to me! Our words— you know, I know we peeled all of these off of Liam, but the truth is there are words that he carries—good words! I pray there are words you carry in your heart that someone said to you!
A Revolution in Our Words
And maybe it was a mean person; maybe someone said some mean words to you. Maybe someone said, “You’re not good enough.” Maybe you were taught to say words that were rude or cruel or mean or prejudiced or put somebody down. But I believe that God was speaking to me this last week. I just kept feeling, I was like, “Lord, I feel like we need a revolution in the way that we speak to each other! That we could change the world with our words!”
God used words to shape the world in Genesis chapter 1. With his words, he shaped what the universe would look like! With our words, we can shape what our lives look like and what other people’s lives look like around us. I want you to stand on your feet all over this place. I want to pray for you. You know, I know we got this helium tank on stage, and I only have like 20 more balloons left, so if there’s any kids after service that want a balloon, I’ll get you one, and we’ll try to shoot that one down up there!
But let me say this: that helium tank is a different source than what I can give, than what anyone else can give in this room. It’s a source that not only gives air for the balloon to get blown up, but it gives air for the balloon to stay up. And I started thinking about how when we get in church and we get in the Word of God, we allow His Word to get in our hearts, and we start reading the word where David says in Psalm 139, “Lord, I thank you that I am fearfully and wonderfully made! Lord, I thank you that the thoughts you think about me are good thoughts! Lord, in fact, the thoughts you think about me outnumber the sand on the seashore! The knowledge that you have about my life is too wonderful for me to understand! Where can I go from your spirit? God, no matter where I go, you’re there! And not only are you there, but you’re there with good intentions! God, I thank you, Lord, that you created me in my mother’s womb! God, I thank you, Lord, that you know me from afar; my frame was not hidden from you, that I was made in the secret place! And you don’t make mistakes!”
How precious to me are your thoughts, oh God! You know, I think about as we get the Word of God inside of us and we start speaking that word over each other: “You’re more than a conqueror! You can do all things through Christ who strengthens you!”
Speaking Possibility
I was hearing about this story of this professional athlete, and he was labeled a child at risk when he was in third grade because his dad went to jail; his mom overdosed on drugs; she had to go to a rehab center. This last week I spoke to a rehab center staff facility, and they were talking about just how important words are to helping addicts get free—the words that they speak over themselves, the words they hear.
But I heard this story about this athlete; he was labeled a child at risk, right? Someone put that note on him: “You’re a child at risk! Your dad’s in prison; your mom overdosed on drugs; it’s in your blood; it’s in your DNA to do what they did!” All these things that he kept hearing! But there was a teacher—true story! A teacher—your words are like 400 pounds! You get 40 hours a week with kids! You get a lot more hours with kids than even some of the parents in the room do!
And this teacher just kept speaking over Del Toro—that was his name—“Del Toro, you’re not a child at risk; you’re a child at possibility! Possibility is written all over your future! You got potential! You can do greater things than your dad did! You can go farther! You can break the curse off your family! You don’t have to live with that curse! You’re not a child at risk; you’re a child at possibility!” She kept saying that, and he kept believing that, and he went on to graduate high school and college; he went on to become a professional athlete! And he credited his success back to his teacher!
Kevin Durant, when he won the MVP award in Oklahoma, rest in peace from that season when he won the MVP award, he credited his mom. He said, “My mom always spoke words of life over me!” Then he credited the eighth man on the team, the guy that hardly ever got into the games. He said there was a guy on the bench that would put notes in my locker—little sticky notes—and say, “Kevin, you’re the real MVP!” Even after games where he felt like he cost the whole team the game, he lost the game for the team, someone would put a note in there and say, “Kevin, you’re still the real MVP!” He said it was those notes of encouragement that inspired me to keep going, keep chasing the dream in my heart.
Altar Call and Prayer
Friends, we can change whatever words we’ve been speaking, whatever words we’ve been hearing today! We can make a change! Lord, I just pray right now over every heart in this room, over every mouth in this room, that you would put a guard over our mouth! That every time we’re tempted to say a mean word, every time we’re tempted to put ourselves down, put others down, every time we’re tempted to use language that’s harsh, to use language that’s not godly, God, that you would just take over our tongue!
Lord, I pray that you would deliver our tongue from evil, and I pray over every ear, God, that’s here today, every ear that’s heard mean words and labels and even just abusive speech that’s been spoken, and it’s gotten—it’s like been a seed; it’s been planted into their soul—that today we are uprooting every seed that was not a good seed! We’re pulling out every weed that’s in someone’s soul of mean words, mean labels. God, things that have been spoken of them today, we’re speaking a better word. We’re speaking the name of Jesus over every person. We’re speaking the blood of Jesus that washes away every sin and every label and every mean word and mean name they’ve been called.
And God, I pray, Lord, that today, you would just begin to wash us in your Word! God, that we would be reminded we are more than conquerors! We can do all things through Christ who strengthens us! We are not an accident! We are here on purpose because we have a purpose! Lord, I pray that we would change the language that we’re speaking in our houses, in our homes, in our dorm rooms, on our camp, in school, in the hallways—that we would look for ways to speak life over others! God, that we would interrupt that conversation someone’s having in their own head about themselves! Lord, that we would speak a better word! That we would say, “No, you’re a mighty warrior! You’re more than a conqueror! You’re not a weirdo! You’re a great kid! You’re an awesome guy!”
Lord, that we would change the course of where people are headed through our words. With heads bowed and eyes closed, if you’re here today and you just need to repent because words have come out of your mouth that you know, man, I need God’s mercy and grace! I want to change the way that I’ve been talking to others and over myself! If that’s you, I want you to just raise your hand! God’s talking to you; yeah! Hands going up from the front to the back! You’re saying, “I want to use my words to speak life! I want to stop being so mean and sarcastic and rude! I want to stop cussing so much! I want to start speaking better words! I want the Lord to watch over my mouth! I want to stop speaking down to myself and down to others! Maybe you want to break a generational curse of the language that you grew up with! Today, you’re saying, ‘I’m drawing a line in the sand! I’m not carrying on what was passed on to me! I’m going to speak words of love! I’m going to actually tell my kids I love them! I’m going to actually start speaking words of life!’ In Jesus' name!”
Secondly, you’re here today, and you say, “Paul, would you pray over my heart because I’ve heard words that have affected me! I’ve had labels that I’ve been carrying from things that have been spoken over me, and maybe you just need the Lord to wash some words off of your heart, off of your mind today!” If that’s you, just raise your hand! If you just need to get some words washed out of your mind and heart—things that people have spoken over you that have just been on repeat like an echo chamber in your head, and you’re just saying, “God, I want you to wash me in your Word!”
If you raised your hand for either of those, I want you to leave your seat, come and meet me at this altar! And maybe you want to come with your spouse, come with your parents, come with your sister, your brother—maybe just come by yourself and just say, “Man, this is for me today! I’m coming down to that altar!” If you want to give your heart to Jesus, come and join us! If you need to get right with God, come and join us! I want to pray for every single person that’s coming down to the altar that today is a new day— that today, the Holy Spirit is going to begin to wash you! He’s going to begin to guard you! He’s going to release you from words that the enemy spoke over you! The accuser of the brethren is broken in Jesus' name! I thank you that Jesus stands between you and the accusations of the enemy, the words of the enemy!
And today, I thank you, Lord Jesus, that your name is power! Your name is life! Your name is healing! Your name is bringing freedom to someone in this room today! Let’s just begin to worship all over this room! Go ahead, Lamar! You have the mind of Christ in Jesus' name! You have the mind of Christ! No more fear! No more insecurity! Lord, I thank you, Jesus, that he’s a mighty man of God! You’re a warrior! You’re strong in the Lord! God, I thank you that you put a guard over their mouths to speak life and only life! God, I thank you, Lord Jesus, that you wash us of every word that’s not from you!
Yeah, you are made in the image of God! There is hope and healing in Jesus' name! Lord, I pray for grace in Jesus' name! Your name is healing! Your name is breaking every stronghold! Shine through the shadows! You’re strong in the Lord! You’re a mighty warrior! You’re redeemed! You’re forgiven! You are loved! You are valuable! You are worthy of living! Jesus paid a high price for you!
“I just want to speak—I just want to speak the name of Jesus! Over every heart and every mind, I speak Jesus!” “Oh, I just want to speak the name of Jesus! I just want to speak the name of Jesus! Over every fear, anxiety, over every soul captive by depression!” “I speak Jesus!” “Your name, your name, your name is power! Your name is healing! Your name is…” “Break every stronghold! Shine through the shadows!” “Burn like a fire!”
Taking Authority Over Words
I wrote down this vow in my journal several years ago, and I need to go back to it, honestly, on a monthly basis because I don’t know about you, but the enemy tries to tempt me with my words, and I have to just take authority over my mouth! You have the power to take authority over your mouth—even when you feel hurt, when you feel misunderstood, when you feel like somebody’s not being nice to you, you have authority to control your tongue!
But I wrote this down in my journal: “I vow to use my words to only build up, to heal, to encourage, to rebuild, to repent when I miss it, and to forgive others when they miss it towards me! I vow to use my words to affirm people, to honor people, to speak love by the power of God’s love in me in Jesus' name!” I wrote that down! That I want to— I want to use my words!
Lord, use my words only to heal, to build up, to encourage, to rebuild! When I saw that one father ripping into that son on the football field, what I didn’t tell you is that my son was on this team! And his father starts to turn and starts to say some of the same words he was saying to his son towards the other boys! And the Holy Spirit told me, “Get out there!” So I ran out there because I was watching the practice. I ran out there, and I got between him and my son and the boys! I said, “You don’t talk like that to kids!”
And he was like, “Who made you boss?” I said, “Well, this happens to be a Victory field, so my name is Pastor Paul, and I said I know you don’t go to church here, but I want you to know we don’t talk like this on this field!” He said, “Well, I’ll go somewhere else!” He didn’t go to our school or church—he was out there, you know, from a rec league! But I said, “Hey, we get to take authority! You know, my son asked me; he said, ‘Are you allowed to do that?’ I said, ‘Yes, I am on Victory’s fields!’”
But I started thinking about how adults in this room, we have authority to step in between those moments. Now, I’m not saying you do it everywhere, because you might get into a fistfight with somebody! But when you have the opportunity to take a stand and say, “We’re not going to talk like that! We don’t treat people like that! It’s mean! That’s rude! We don’t talk to women like that in the locker room, guys!” Take a stand! When men are speaking mean words about people, that you would take a stand and say, “Not on my watch! We’re going to speak life! We’re going to speak hope! We’re going to speak love!” It might take some boldness, but I promise you God will back you up, because His Word—where’s my Bible? His Word! His Word has the power that we—His Word is like a sword! It’s a double-edged sword! That when we take a stand and say, “No! We’re going to speak life! We’re going to speak a better word!”
When someone says something mean over you, that you would just say, “Lord, I forgive them!” And God, I’m not going to retaliate! God, I thank you, Lord, that I know who I am in Christ! I’m a child of God. I’m a mighty man of God! Whatever it is that you need to speak—let’s just say this together:
“Jesus, help me to speak life over myself and over others. Help me, Jesus, to use my words to build up, to encourage, to heal, to restore! Use my words to bring life and not death! Lord, I forgive those who have spoken words over my life that are not good! And I thank you that you wash me today of every negative word! Wash it off of me! Cleanse me, Lord, of every label that’s not from you! I know who I am! I’m a child of God! I’m made in your image! And you have good plans for me, and I will do great things because you live in me! I repent of my sin, I receive your forgiveness, I confess you as my Lord! In Jesus' mighty name, amen and amen!”