Paul Daugherty - I Forgive You - Part 1
But Stephen was witnessing, He was sharing the gospel and people got angry. At the end of Acts 6, he was thrown in a circle of group called the Sanhedrin. They were looking intently at Stephen. They were frustrated, they were bitter, they were mad at him. And in verse 1 of Acts 7, it said, "The high priest asked Stephen, 'Are these charges that everyone is bringing against you true?'" Are they true? Are these things so? And I wanna title this message, "I Forgive You". Turn to that person next to you and say, I. Can you say it? You're like, don't make me say that right now. You don't know what kind of fight we had before walking into church. You don't know what it was like in the minivan with our kids on the way here. Oh, trust me, we know. We know. Just say, "I forgive you".
Three of the most powerful words in the world. Three of the most powerful words are, I forgive you. Those words can change the world. Those words can heal families, they can restore relationships. Those words can stop someone from doing something extremely harmful to their life, to the lives of others. If only we walked in more forgiveness, our world would be in a better place. It's one of those meat and potatoes messages. It's not super complex. It's all throughout scripture, but forgiveness is a big idea. It's a very hard thing to do. Thousands of times it's mentioned from Genesis to Revelation. Not just forgiveness of mankind towards one another, but most importantly, the forgiveness we all need from God. I mean, in the beginning when man sinned, the very first thing that happened was man ran from God, hid from God, ashamed in sin.
Feeling overwhelmed in our guilt, in our sense of God could never forgive me if He knew what I did. And because He can't forgive me, I'm going to pass this same shame on to my kids. From Adam and Eve, they have children, and what are their kids names? Cain and Abel. And what happens with their shame and unforgiveness? It leads to more hurt. See, undealt with resentment, shame, hurt, anger just keeps being passed on from generation to generation. From Cain and Abel, it would later on be passed down to Noah and his kids. From Noah and his kids, it'd be passed down to Abraham and Lot. Between Abraham and Lot, they just couldn't get along with each other. It would be passed down to Isaac and Ishmael. And between Isaac and Ishmael, would be passed down to Jacob and Esau. And we see these brothers hating each other. And you go, what does this have to do with?
The shootings that have been happening in our nation, it has everything to do with what we're seeing right now in our nation. But I want us to look at the story of Acts 7 because it is a story of forgiveness. It says, "So Stephen began to preach to the Sanhedrin. He says, 'Brothers and fathers, listen to me. The God of glory appeared to our father Abraham.'" He starts with the Old Testament. He says, it was Abraham that God called. And when Abraham left the place he was in and went to an unknown place, God spoke to him and told him He would give him children. But when that didn't work out at first, Abraham didn't know what to do until he trusted God and God blessed him with a child, Isaac. And then, through Isaac came Jacob. And then Jacob had 12 patriarchs. And we get to verse 9. It says, "Because the patriarchs were jealous of Joseph, they sold him into Egypt".
Now Stephen, the martyr in the Book of Acts, is preaching a sermon about Joseph. And I just think this is ironic that Stephen is about to show radical forgiveness, and he decides to spend several scriptures talking about a guy who modeled forgiveness best in the Old Testament. Joseph was one of the greatest examples of forgiveness that we can look at. And it doesn't mean that it's easy. Like forgiveness is not easy, it is hard. How many y'all know forgiveness is hard sometimes? You're like, I am still dealing with it. You talking about it is making me wanna leave right now. I need to take a bathroom break. This is not my sermon. Let's just, for a second, talk about why forgiveness is hard. Why is forgiveness a hard thing? Why is it such a difficult thing for us to forgive?
Ultimately, I think we need to define where unforgiveness comes from, this bitterness of what happens when we are hurt. Let's define bitterness. Bitterness is anger and disappointment at being treated unfairly. Now, all of us in this room are going to experience some unfair treatment. All of us, I don't even have to ask the question. You've all been treated unfairly. All of us have been offended. Luke 17:1 says, "Offenses will come". In other words, you will have offenses come into your life. Disappointments will come. All of us in this room, I don't have to ask the question. We've all been disappointed. It's not if you get disappointed, if you get hurt, if you get offended, it's what you do once it happens. Some people go, that hurt, that was painful, but I would rather get on the path of forgiveness than get on a path of revenge and bitterness 'cause if I'm on the path of forgiveness, I get better, my family gets better.
I don't deal with so much cynicism, resentment, anger. I don't repeat the cycle of pain on more people. If I can get on the path of forgiveness, it doesn't mean that I've all of a sudden just forgotten what they did to me or that I excused their poor choices. Forgiveness does not mean that what they did is okay. It just means I am not going to let this fester. Bitterness festers. It's a deep resentment, it's a dwelling, it's a sadness. It's I just can't get past this. I just can't get past this. I remember reading this article by John Mayer, a famous secular musician, singer, songwriter. And he said, "You know, when when I got wealthy and famous, I had enough money to purchase a good house in L.A. area," around the Hollywood area. He said, "Down the street was Jamie Foxx, Robert Downey Jr".
These you know, famous celebrities. And he said, "I had enough money to build a good wall so that people couldn't see into my yard. The wall was strong. It was a wall that would guard and protect my house. I had a gate that was high, 12 to 14 feet high gate. I paid for security that would monitor, looking out for me, making sure they're guarding my house, guarding me". 'Cause there was crazy fans that were trying to come after John Mayer. He said, "Not only that, I paid for the most complex security system. I had an alarm system, locks on every door. Nobody could get into my house. I paid so much money". He says, "This is what celebrities do. We pay the highest amount of money for walls, gates, security systems, alarms, locks on doors". And he said, "Then I sit down at my laptop and I start reading the reviews about my latest songs. I start reading the tabloids about what people are saying about me and my relationships".
And he said, "I start reading the most horrendous things and suddenly these comments hop over the wall, bypass the alarm system, get through the locked doors, and go straight into my heart". And he said, "As celebrities, we are the worst at guarding our hearts. We're the best at guarding our houses, the best at guarding our external stuff, but the worst at guarding our hearts". Now, this is a secular person talking. As Christians, we know we are called, most of all, guard your heart above all else. Proverbs 4:23 says, "Guard your heart more than anything else".
What did Stephen need to know going into this circle of people that were ravenous, wolves waiting to attack him? He needed to know, you may not be able to convince these guys. No matter how much explaining you do, some people are committed to misunderstanding you. You know what I'm talking about? And here Stephen is, he's preaching this incredible message from the Old Testament to the New Testament, and these people are growling at him. The Bible actually says they're grinding their teeth. They're grinding their teeth. And Stephen is doing his best to preach, and all of a sudden, everybody say, "Guard your heart". Guard your heart.
We're in a world of people who have unguarded hearts and anything can come in. I wanna look at, he starts talking about Joseph here. He says, "There was a jealousy towards Joseph. And out of their jealousy, the anger led them to almost murder him. But instead of murdering him, they thought, 'Let's make money off him.' So they sold him as a slave into Egypt. But God was with him. And God rescued Joseph from all of his troubles". Can I tell you something? When you guard your heart, God looks out for you. When you stay in a place of love and mercy, God is with... You might still go through valleys, you might still go through hurts, you might still feel like you are in the bottom of the pit, you might still feel abandoned.
I'm not saying that everybody's gonna like you, that is not a promise in the Bible, but God will be with you. God is with you. And you and God are the majority. If you got God with you, if you can be right with God in your heart, the most important person to be right with is God. I'd rather be right with God and wrong with everybody else than be right with everybody else, but wrong with God. But we live in a world where we wanna be popular, we wanna be liked. We want everybody to approve of us. And that's a tough thing 'cause Joseph here finds himself alone with God and God would rescue him from his troubles. And Stephen says, "He gave Joseph wisdom and enabled him to gain the goodwill of Pharaoh, the king of Egypt.
So Pharaoh made him the ruler over Egypt and all his palace". Because Joseph was walking with a guarded heart of love and forgiveness, God promoted him. God lifted him up. "But then a famine struck all of Egypt and Canaan". Verse 11, "bringing great suffering and our ancestors could not find food". Who were the ancestors? The 12 brothers who almost killed Joseph, tried to assassinate him, but instead, sold him as a slave. This is why we gotta be careful when we burn a bridge, we might have to cross the same bridge we burned. Never burn a bridge. Try your best to do everything you can to make it right. So here it is. The same brothers who sold him. "When Jacob heard there was grain in Egypt," verse 12, "he sent our forefathers on their first visit. On their second visit, Joseph saw his brothers and he told him who he was". I wanna go back to that moment. Let's go back in the Old Testament to Genesis 45.
Genesis 45. In fact, let's look at Genesis. Before we go to Genesis 45, let's look at Genesis 42. Genesis 42. Y'all with me this morning? Can we dive into Bible study? Genesis 42. What does forgiveness look like? And we'll start with verse 5. "So Israel's sons were among those who went to buy grain for there was a famine in the land of Canaan". And in verse 6, "now Joseph was the governor of the land. So when Joseph's brothers arrived, they bowed down to him with their faces to the ground". And verse 7, "As soon as Joseph saw his brothers, he recognized them, but he pretended to be a stranger and he spoke harshly to them".
You can see the human side of Joseph here. It's not that he had the most guarded perfect heart of forgiveness. He's still dealing with the... you think you've forgave someone until you run into them at target again. You know what I'm saying? Like, I was good until your name popped up on Facebook, on Instagram. I was okay. We were doing good until we ran into them at Walgreens. And it's like, your heart starts beating again. The blood pressure starts to ri... Can I talk to some real people at church today? Anyone in the room? Forgiveness is a process. It's a process. Even as I'm preaching right now, I could just feel the Holy Spirit going, yes. I do. I feel the Holy Spirit going, yeah. Don't be mad if you're in a process. At least you're in a process. I'd rather be in a process that's painful and uncomfortable, but it's headed in the right direction then be on the other path of, I don't even wanna see them again.
I never wanna look at them, never wanna talk to them. I am done. I have canceled. I am so done with them. You know what I'm saying? 'Cause that path, that path is where some of these shooters ended up. That path is where families have been broken and pulled apart. That path is where toxicity gets passed on. I remember going to this counselor several years ago and they were talking to me about the importance of forgiveness. And they said, "How many times have you been disappointed as a pastor's kid, growing up in the church? Families, situations that happen with your dad and mom, situations that happened with you and as a pastor"? And I was like, oh, too many to count.
And so the counselor said, "Let's start unpacking it". And she said this to me and Ashley, she was an older pastor's wife named Denise. And she said, "Each of these disappointments is like a rock". I need some help this morning. Tim, would you help me out? I want you to just put this backpack on in front of you. Wear it like one of those baby, what's it called? A baby bjorn or something. Is that what it's called? Yeah. So, a lot of us in this room, we go, I'm gonna guard my heart. I'm gonna guard my heart. And as soon as something bad happens in our life, someone hurts us, someone says something mean to us, someone does something to us and we go, that was so wrong. That was so wrong. That was so wrong! But I'm guarding my heart. And another situation comes along. Some of y'all have had one of these happen recently. You're like Paul, it wasn't just a pebble, it was a foot... 10 pound rock. But I'm guarding my heart. Are you okay?
Okay. You can get back at me after this service. Whatever you wanna do. You can punch me or whatever you need to do. Tim's like, "I forgive you". In the next service, he's not gonna sit on the front row. He's gonna have Drew do this for me. And then more stuff comes along. It's not just what they did to me, Paul, it's what they did to my kids. It's what they did to my mom. It's what they said. Paul, if I'm honest, the rocks are getting heavier and they're causing me to bend. This is what happens. An unguarded heart, all of a sudden you gotta keep it all. You can't even stand up. It's got you so bent over. Bitterness affects your posture. There's moments in the Bible where Jesus encounters people and they're just like this because of what life has done to them. I just couldn't let it go. I couldn't... What my ex did to me, I couldn't let it go.
What the religious people did to me. Here Stephen is surrounded by religious people who are supposed to be protecting him and they are killing him with their words. You go, I may not have, Paul, I've never killed anyone. Yeah, you may never have killed anyone with your actions, but maybe you've killed them with your words. Maybe you've killed them with your thoughts. Some of you have thought about murdering somebody. I know. You go, how does he know that? How's he reading my thoughts? I just know because we're human. When someone really hurts us, we start thinking thoughts. If I could put your thoughts up on the screen when you have been hurt the most by somebody and you are all by yourself in the car and you are imagining things, y'all are like, don't put that up on the screen. That's rated R. Don't put it up on the screen.
So, how do I get rid of this? Forgiveness allows me to start unpacking the stones. Forgiveness allows me to say God, what they did was wrong, but I'm choosing to bring it to the altar. I'm choosing not to let this affect me. I'm not gonna carry this. In fact, I'm gonna take off this backpack. What if a guarded heart has nothing in front of it except the blood of Jesus? What if a guarded heart is not wearing armor right here, but just the breast plate of righteousness to say His mercy has given me so much love. His grace has empowered me through so much of my own sin.
How could I not offer forgiveness for what Jesus has given to me? So when rocks come, 'cause they will come. You go, well what do I do when rocks come? If I don't have a backpack, what do I do with the rocks? Would you just stand right here, Tim? I'm not gonna hurt you. When a rock comes to someone who's not got a pocket, 'cause if you got pockets, the rocks will fall in there. But when you don't. Tim doesn't have any pockets on his shirt. When there's no pockets, it hits and it falls off. It hits and it falls off, like water off a duck's back. Rhino hide, heart of a dove. I have purpose in my heart to walk in love 'cause I am a forgiven loved believer. Give Tim a big hand.
Guarding your heart is not letting people treat you like trash, it's just choosing that you are not going to carry resentment towards those people who hurt you. Anyone in this room been hurt by somebody? Anybody need to forgive those people? Yeah, because unforgiveness is like drinking poison. You're going down. You're gonna die for that. I'm unhinged because of what they did. You're gonna p-p-p-p-pay. That's what happens. When I don't forgive you, it hurts me more than it hurts you. It hurts me. It robs me of life. It robs me of joy. It robs me of peace. So Joseph sees them, and look at Genesis 45:1. Finally, he can't handle it any longer. And Stephen's talking about this right before he's about to die. Stephen's giving a sermon on forgiveness.
In Genesis 45:1, "Joseph could no longer control his emotions in front of all the attendants". So he says, "Everyone leave except my brothers". In other words, this confrontation does not need to be in front of everybody else. There's no reason for everyone else to see the pain that I'm walking through. This is between me and the people who offended me. You don't have to blast it on Facebook. You don't have to make a blast on social media of what people did to you. Well Paul, they need to pay for it, so I'm gonna tell the whole world. How is that? We want our world to get better, but when we add to the noise of pain, it only gets worse.
So we've gotta learn, where do I take my pain? Do I take my pain to Instagram, Facebook? Where do I take my hurt? Where do I take my church hurt? Where do I take my family hurt? Where do I take my trauma? Do I just tell the whole world, just blast it and wait for comments and likes so that I feel better about myself? That doesn't bring healing either. The only place where healing can happen is between you and God. And if there's a chance, between you and the person who offended you. And sometimes you don't get that chance. Sometimes it's just you and God. But Joseph has the chance and he begins to weep so loud that the Egyptians can hear his tears, but they can't hear his whispers.
And Joseph says, "I am Joseph. Is my father still alive"? His brothers could not even speak. They were terrified in his presence. Joseph said, "Come close to me". Come close to me. Come close to me. See my scars. See what happened. And he says, "Don't be depressed. Don't be distressed. Don't be angry with yourselves". Look what Joseph says, "Don't be angry with yourselves. You sold me, but God saved me. You tried to get rid of me, but God sent me ahead of you to provide for you. And I forgive you". Somebody say, "I forgive you". Joseph threw his arms around his brothers and he began to weep on Benjamin. And then from Benjamin, he kissed each of his brothers weeping over them, hugging them, saying, I forgive you. I forgive you.
Here's what forgiveness does. In the process of forgiveness, it rewires the memories. It doesn't make what they did okay, but it changes the memory from negative to positive. He said, "You intended to harm me, but God turned it for good". You intended to kill me. You thought this was gonna end me. You thought I'd commit suicide after this. You thought I'd never get back into what God's called me to do. But God used what you did to me to purify me, to purge me, to grow me, to build my character, to strengthen me in the pit. God used what the enemy meant to take me out for my good. Forgiveness helps me to look at something that was so painful and go, God used it. Somebody say, "God used it". Can God use the painful things in your life? He's not the author of your trauma, but He is the healer.