Mike Novotny - Burned Out? Spiritually
The Real Reason Behind Burnout
The more I thought about burnout and why some of us like to know the rules and know what we should do with our bodies, and yet we break the rules, I kept coming back to this one thing: I have a hunch that if you’re exhausted right now, tired and weary, if I could dig in and counsel you and pull back the layers, I would bet my favorite Bible that at the heart of it is this one objection that almost every human shares—a reason that makes us compromise and push too hard and too fast, to sprint instead of running the race that God has called us to.
Here’s the objection: but Pastor, I have to, or someone will be mad. You’re right, it’s too much; I’m too busy. But, honestly, I have to do this because if I step back from this, if I take a break from this, if I slow down with this, people will not be happy. They won’t be proud of me for following the biblical model and Jesus' example. They won’t clap; they’ll scowl. They’ll frown. I have to be this busy, or someone will be mad.
I have a hunch that for a lot of you here today, that’s the reason you’re running too fast. Right? If you go to your boss tomorrow and say, «Hey, guess what we’re learning in church about burnout? I think I’ve been working too hard, so I’m going to be doing less for our company, » your boss would have some words about that. They would say, «That’s great, good for you! I’m really proud. Go take a nap, take a break if you want.»
No, I mean, if your boss is driven by profit and goals and metrics and investors, they’re not going to care about that. They’re going to care about their numbers. And if you’re a parent right now who’s living in this crazy American sports culture where everyone plays club and they’re gone 58 weekends every year, if you say to your kids, «Hey kids, I know all of your friends are playing on the team and they’re going to be in Chicago for the tournaments, but our family’s just too busy for that, and I just want to make a home-cooked meal and have you at the dinner table, » your competitive son is not going to say, «Thanks, Mom! You’re such a good person, you’re so warm.» No, he’s going to be furious. He’s going to stamp his feet and slam the door and say, «Oh, all my friends are going! Why are you the only parent who does this?»
And if you’re committed to being at every birthday party for every cousin, if your business has been making this much money and now you’re cutting back the hours, people aren’t going to be happy. They’re going to be mad. They’re going to be disappointed. They’re going to think you’re selfish. They’re going to wonder why you’ve changed. What’s different? They’re used to getting this much out of you, and when you dial back to follow the Bible’s example, they’re not going to clap for you.
And I think if I could see your schedule and I could just objectively say, «Well, stop doing this! You really shouldn’t be doing that. You don’t have margin in your schedule for this right now, » there’d be something emotional in you that would say, «But if I do that, someone will be disappointed.» And honestly, maybe the one who would be disappointed is you. It feels pretty good when people clap. It’s really nice to get the Volunteer of the Year award. All of us like to be appreciated, approved of. It’s nice to not just make the team but to start. It’s not just nice to work there and be an average employee, but to be the one that the boss respects, the one that you can count on. It feels really good when you serve someone and they appreciate it and they see it.
It feels good to step back, to be less than you used to be, even for the sake of your own sanity. It’s emotional. Or maybe I could visualize all that like this: I found these weights in my basement; they haven’t been used in a while. So here’s a little 10-pound dumbbell. It’s not 100 pounds, not 50 pounds, not even 25 pounds. It’s pretty light; I could easily lift it. Let’s imagine that this is like a responsibility you have in your life, but it’s not your only responsibility. You have this other responsibility, and this is enough. You could lift both of these at the same time, but then someone else wants you to do more.
So what? Ah, yeah, maybe if I do this, well, then I could do this other thing. I could volunteer on the side, help out my church, join this extra team, squeezing this extra thing in. And then someone else wants something from you. Yeah, so I can pick this one up; I have room for this in my life. Then someone else wants something else from you. And maybe if I do this, and then I grab like this, maybe I could—yeah, I can do this!
And honestly, I tried preaching like this the other day for about 30 seconds, and I got super, super winded. Not because I’m carrying 100-pound weights, but all the fives and tens put together start to feel it. My back feels it in my legs, and if you looked at me right now, you’d say, «Well, there’s an obvious answer to your problem: set this down, slide these off—maybe one, maybe two, maybe all of it.» Ah, that feels better.
But in life, you know the problem. You know this feels like such a little thing, but if this was someone’s thing and you set it down… If a coach wants you or your kid on the team to go to the camp, to be in the club, so you can make it to State, make the playoffs, and you step back from their thing, if your boss has goals or profit he or she wants to make, and you sit down, they actually think they’re not asking you to do that much. Just one more shift, just one more tournament, just one more thing to sign up for at church. To them, it doesn’t feel like much because it isn’t. They’re not trying to be mean or oppressive to you. What they don’t know is that you’re not just carrying their little thing, you’re carrying that thing and this thing and the other thing and the other thing. There’s family stuff, there’s friend stuff, there’s life stuff, there’s neighbor stuff. You’re a kid, maybe you’re a spouse, maybe you’re dating someone, maybe you have grandkids. You have this job, maybe another side job, and all these things put together—all these five, ten, and fifteen-pound weights leave you exhausted.
And you know maybe from experience that if I set this down, if I stop doing all these things, someone will be so disappointed in me. This, I think, is the real issue behind the issue. It’s a tension that explains so much of our schedules. The answer to your burnout is likely very easy, but for you, it is anything but easy. It is emotional because it involves the approval of people. If you’re taking notes at home or here in church, grab a pen and write this down: I think the real tension is this: we feel like we have to burn ourselves out, or we’re going to let someone down.
I wish there were some easy solution, Pastor, but if I don’t do this, someone will be mad. Burnout—let them down. And I hate letting people down, so I’m going to choose for another week, another season, another year to push past my Creator’s limits.
Jesus Offers the Perfect Solution
So the big question for you today is: what are you going to do? You and I live in this culture that’s going to push us in a thousand different ways—just load up another responsibility, ask us to do more and more and more, encourage us to make resolutions to do more and more and more. So how will you personally resolve this tension?
Well, today I want to help you find an answer. Today, we’re going to run back to Jesus because Jesus, for all the things that are amazing about Him, offers us not just the perfect example but also the perfect solution. Last week we learned that Jesus was okay with disappointing people. We read that crowds of people came to be healed of their sicknesses; they were desperate for Jesus. Can you imagine? He heals, He heals, He heals, and then it’s finally your turn in line, and He says, «Sorry, end of my shift, » and He walks away in peace and joy in His heart.
He’s not bad because He knew that God wasn’t mad. He was honoring the rules of His body. He was okay with people not liking Him, being disappointed in Him. Every single day, someone was disappointed in Him. That’s a great example for you, but today I want to tell you that Jesus isn’t just a great example; He offers you the perfect solution. He offers you biblical, divine, and spiritual help at the level of your soul.
Look with me in Matthew 11. One of the most beautiful things, the best invitation that Jesus ever gave: Jesus said, «Come to me, all of you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.» I love that verse. Let’s break it down real quick. First, Jesus says «Come.» It’s an invitation. The door’s unlocked; it’s standing wide open. At the ticket office, there’s a ticket that’s been paid for with your name on it. Jesus says, «Come. Come to me.» Don’t come to a place or to some program, some list of things you got to do. A checklist. Jesus says, «I want to look you in the eye; come to me as a person.»
I love this: «All of you.» It doesn’t matter who you are; doesn’t matter how old you are; doesn’t matter what you’ve done; doesn’t matter your background, your mistakes, or your sins. He says to all of you, «Come to me, and especially all of you who are weary and burdened.» If you’ve been caring just too much for too long, if you can’t keep doing this—if you’re impatient and you’ve lost your joy and your fire for God, if you’re just weary in both body and soul—come to me, He says, and I will give you rest. I’m gentle, I’m humble, and I will give you rest for your souls.
Now that’s an interesting little word. I mean, you might expect Him to say, «You know, come to me if you’re tired out, you’re beat up, you haven’t had a break, and I’ll give you rest for your body.» But Jesus says if you come to me, you will find rest for your souls. What does that mean?
Apparently, Jesus isn’t offering you a year’s supply of free bath bombs; He hasn’t paid for an all-inclusive trip to a Mexican beach where you gorge yourself at the buffet and get away from the stresses of life. No, He says, «Come to me, and you will find rest for your soul.» Here’s what I think this means: beautiful. What Jesus is saying is that at the deepest level of you, at the level of your very soul, your spirit, He wants to offer you the love and approval of God apart from works.
It’s my interpretation of that phrase. He says, «Come to me; I won’t give you this long list of things to do. I will give it to you—gift it to you. You don’t work for it; I’m just giving it.» And what am I giving you? That inside, like you will just have this rest knowing that God loves me, God likes me, God sees me, and God smiles upon me.
Jesus isn’t saying to you, «You know, come to me and I’ll give you some things you can fix, » or, «Come to me and I’ll give you an update on your karma so you can do some good to balance out that bad.» He’s not saying, «Come to me, and I’ll give you a ladder so you can climb your way up to Heaven.» He’s saying, «If you come to me, if you believe in me, I will make you good with God, not by your works but as a pure gift.»
I love how the Apostle Paul talked about the same concept in Ephesians 2. Paul said, «For it is by grace that you have been saved through faith, and this is not from yourselves. It is the gift of God—not by works.» Say this with me: «Not by works.» It’s not how this works, so that no one can boast.
How are you saved from God’s disappointment, His disapproval, from God being mad or sad or done with you? How are you saved from His wrath, His judgment, His condemnation? Paul says it is by grace that you’ve been saved. Grace is God’s free love; it’s not something you work for and can boast about; it’s just this gift that Jesus gives to you.
Two thousand years ago, Jesus lived such a flawless, holy life, and He died this perfect, sacrificial death, and Jesus is saying, if I take away all of your sins and leave them at the cross, and if I take this perfect, amazing life that I lived and put it on your account—if you come to me, God will look at you and smile. He’ll see your profile picture and know; click the little thumbs up. God will accept you, approve of you, love you, like you. He’ll delight in you, He’ll sing over you; He’ll be proud of you, not because you’ve done enough work, but because I worked, lived, and died for you.
Now some of you have heard that message ever since you were kids growing up in church, but have you ever paused to think about how absolutely beautiful, liberating, unique, and wonderful that message is? Wait, God likes me even though I haven’t done enough work? Let me prove it to you.
When you were in school, if you wanted to make your teacher smile, what did you have to do? The answer: work. Right? If you didn’t show up for school, if you didn’t do your homework, if you didn’t do the presentation, if you flopped, they would be disappointed in you. Want to make the teacher smile? You have to work.
And you get older, and you get your first job. If you want to make your boss happy, what do you have to do? You have to work! If you don’t show up for work, it’s not going to work! You have to show up and do the stuff and check the boxes and go the extra mile. Want to make the boss smile? You have to work!
And then you get into a relationship; you start dating someone, you get married. If you want to make your spouse or significant other happy, what do you have to do? You have to work! Yeah! If you sit there on the couch and play Call of Duty for your entire marriage, she will not like you very much! Alright? You have to find out their love language; you have to speak it, you have to serve them, you have to go the extra mile! In every area of life, if you want to see a smile on someone’s face, you better work!
But then Jesus comes along and says, «God is so perfect.» How are you going to make God smile? Helping little old ladies across the street? Come on, He’s God! You can never do enough work! So how about this: how about I do the work for you? How about I’m perfect for you? How about you just come to me if you’re tired at the very level of your soul, and I will give you rest, because you can know that today and tomorrow and for all eternity, God’s going to look at you, and His face is going to light up. He’s going to see you, and He’s not going to send you away; He’s going to accept you—not with some asterisk, but His arms will be wide open.
No matter how deep and messed up your sin, that’s what Jesus offers us. This is the gospel that gives us rest. So write this down, grab a pen; it’s my main point for today: it is the gospel—the good news of what Jesus has done—that gives rest to our souls.
The Gospel for Right Now
Yeah, in the back! Yeah, Pastor, I don’t want to interrupt in the middle of your sermon, but I think you just pulled one of those like pastor sermon Jesus judo flips on us. And I would say, «Well, what do you mean?» You say, «Well, we were talking at the start of your message about our schedule, and then you grabbed the Bible and started talking about our salvation. We were talking about disappointing my parents or my kids or my coworkers or my boss—that’s why I push too hard, and then you like jumped and started talking about Jesus.»
I see what you did there, Pastor. Yeah, we were talking about this tension: like I have to burn out or I’m going to let someone down. And then you opened, and you started talking about grace and faith and the cross and getting to heaven and making God happy. That’s great! I love the gospel, but you didn’t actually fix the tension; you didn’t address the problem.
And I would say to imaginary objectors: good objection! Believe it or not, I’ve prepared an answer! See, we sometimes think that the gospel is just the thing for then. You know, the day you die, your sins are going to be gone; God’s going to accept you into heaven. That’s true, praise God! But the gospel is actually so much more than that. The gospel has benefits for right here and right now that allow us to make the decisions we need to make.
Let me connect the dots for you. Deep within your heart, when God created you, He created a passion to be liked. He did! You could be a pastor; you could be an atheist; you could be old; you could be young; male or female. All of us deep down want someone to see us and smile, right? Some kids become the class clown because they want to be liked, and some of you pushed hard to never get a B+ because you wanted to be liked. Some of you were amazing athletes or musicians because people were impressed and they liked you. Some of you have like those crazy birthday parties where your mom is the mom of the year because there’s a fancy cake with like the Legos on top. Your kid loves it; like we like that.
Some of us work hard on sermons because we want people to like us. Some of us work hard on our yard, our sneaker game, our fashion, our filters, our TikTok videos—like why do we do it? Why is it when you see that someone likes your picture or comments something nice about you or compliments you, why does your heart lift? Because God created within you a deep, deep desire for approval and acceptance—to be liked.
But here’s the problem: most of us try to fill that hole in our heart with the approval of people. We work and we work and we work to get people to like us. We push and we push and we push to get people to like us, and it feels so good when they do! But I don’t know if anyone’s ever told you this: if you try to satisfy that craving of your heart with people, it will be both impossible and exhausting.
If your goal in life is to feel good because everyone likes you, number one, it’s impossible; you can’t make everyone happy all the time. And it’s exhausting, right? My wife feels this all the time. She’s super hardworking, super responsible; she’ll go the extra mile for these people, and these people, and these people. And then this person over here still needs her help—“How do I do all of it?» she says, and she’s right.
You try to be a great employee; you push hard and the boss is happy. And then you come home when you’ve been kind of an absentee spouse, and your spouse is not happy. It’s impossible to make everyone happy; it’s exhausting! You push hard; you go the extra mile; you stay late; you come early; you do this for him and her and them. But then what about these people? Most of us are trying, at the deep level of our soul, to find joy and acceptance, to find peace by making people happy, but it does not work!
It kills us! In fact, I would say bluntly to many of you here today: if you are trying to find your joy in getting people to like you, you will put some of the most important things that God has given you as a sacrifice. If you are trying to get this world to like you, your boss to love you, you will not be a present parent. No! Your job will pile you with weight and you’ll have nothing left for the people who matter most.
If you’re trying to get people to like you by doing everything for everyone, you will not take care of your body. It will backfire on you and people will have to care for you because you haven’t cared for yourself. If you’re trying to make every coach happy, the scouts happy, you’re going to be gone every other weekend, you’re going to start missing church, and the things of your soul will start to shrivel.
Like, when we mess this up and try to fill that space in our heart with the approval of people, it kills us! It’s impossible, and it’s exhausting. And that’s why Jesus says, «Come to me. Are you weary? Have you been working so hard and someone’s still disappointed in you? It’s never enough! Are you burdened with all these responsibilities? Is it hard to even sleep? You’ve got to make sure everything’s right in your head?»
He says, «Come to me, and I will give you rest. I’ll give you God! I will give you the smile of God. I will give you the applause of angels. I will make you holy so that all of heaven looks at you, and their faces light up! I will give you so much more than a little „like, “ a little click, a little compliment. I will fill your heart with gallons and gallons of God’s grace and acceptance. So whether you get this or not doesn’t matter. I have God!»
This is what Jesus knew. Why wasn’t Jesus a slave to the opinions of people? He had God! He certainly served people; He wanted people to trust in Him and follow Him. But if the Pharisees were freaking out, did Jesus freak out? No! They were people! He had God!
Imagine if you got a $20 parking ticket. If you were dead broke, if you had no money, you would freak out! «I don’t have money for this!» If you were Elon Musk, with billions in your bank account, you wouldn’t care—you have plenty of resources. This doesn’t bother you!
In the same way, if you have no approval, if your heart is just aching, and when someone doesn’t give it to you, you compromise, you push too hard, you burn out. But if you have God—ALL of God—the bigness and the love of God, the approval of God—if you can close your eyes and see your Father in Heaven’s face shining upon you and looking on you with favor—well, I don’t need these people to like me!
I hope they do! I’m not going to try to offend anyone or make them mad, but if they are, well, I’m following God. That reminds me of the story of Bobby Reid. Back in 2021, a Florida businessman named Bobby Reid wanted to buy this small piece of property that was right next to the city water tower in the town where he lived. So he went to the city, they drew up the paperwork, and I think he bought this little piece of property for $55,000.
And then after the paperwork was signed, both Bobby and the city found out something rather shocking that neither of them knew. According to the document, Bobby Reid had not just purchased that little piece of land; he had also received the city water tower! He thought he was just getting this—you know, he didn’t even know—but he had actually gotten so, so much more. Don’t worry; he gave it back!
Right? I think for a lot of you, you didn’t know this about Christianity. You thought that when you believed in Jesus, He just gave you heaven, and you would go to hell, and you get to be with your loved ones and escape the pain. That’s true, praise God! But there is so much more! The gospel gives to you right now—the love of God, the presence of God, the double thumbs-up approval of God—a God whose face is shining on you, not one day, but right now because of what Jesus has done.
You could spend your whole life burning out trying to make everyone happy, or you could listen to this: «Come to me, all of you who are weary and burdened, and you will find rest for your souls.»
Schedule with the Gospel
It’s the best step I want you to take today. Grab a pen; it’s the last fill-in-the-blank for today: I think an answer to burnout that so many Christians miss is this: schedule with the gospel.
When you make your schedule, when you have this much work and this much rest, when you say yes to these things and these people, and no to those things and those people—schedule with the gospel! So when someone is mad or disappointed, when you’re not getting the approval and praise that you used to, you don’t need it. Through the gospel, I have God, and God is enough.
So that means you have some homework. What would it look like this year to schedule with the gospel? If you’re tired and burdened, if you’re weary, if you’re doing too much, if you’re not sleeping, not working out, if you don’t have just downtime for you and your loved ones to relax and just be—if you’re not like Jesus, what would you change? What would you step back from? Who would you say, «You know, it’s been an honor to serve, but I’m going to need to be a little bit different this year»?
What hard conversation would you have to have? They might be disappointed, but after it’s over, you could breathe and find rest! As you think of that, let me tell you what I do. Many years ago, I got some brilliant advice that led me to the conclusion it’s best for me, my soul, my marriage, my kids, and my ministry if I work about 50 hours a week—six, eight to nine-hour days—one day of rest feels very biblical in the Old Testament.
For 15 years, that’s what I’ve done. I try to push hard so I’m not lazy. I’m not walking; I’m here to serve you. I’m going to work from Sunday to Friday to serve you in Jesus’ name, but then Friday, about 5:00, things change.
Friday’s date night! If you ask me to meet on Friday, I will ask you, «Are you dying?» If you say no, I’ll say, «Sorry, it’s date night.» And if you say yes, I’ll say, «Call Pastor Michael!» No, right? There are exceptions; there are seasons, alright, when you’ve got to serve people.
But, like, my marriage just thrives when week after week after week, Kim and I just have time to look at each other in the eye, catch up, take a walk, eat good food—you know, do all the things! That’s just a non-negotiable for me.
And Saturday is the one I just get to wear stretchy pants. No belt, not shave, no hair product; it’s just my kids. They say, «Dad, do you want to…?» I’m like, «What else are we going to do?» Right? We clear out the schedule; it’s just for rest and allowing just to be, to cook good food together, to go on walks together; that is just a non-negotiable for me!
And Sunday, when people say, «I’m going to be at church; can we meet?» The answer is no! I’ve got to give my best to this church! The most important thing I do is to stand up here and preach with a sharp mind and an active body.
So we can find time to work! People ask me to play soccer all the time. I love playing soccer, but it’s one night a week, and it’s not two! And you say, «You really need someone to sub?» But that’s not my jam! I’m sorry. If you’re disappointed, but if I say yes to you, I say no to my kids and family dinner.
I’ve learned over the years that every time I say yes to a speaking engagement or an extra this or that, I’m saying no to these nine things, many of which I really deeply love. It’s hard at first, but you get the muscle of disappointing people, and actually, people aren’t going to be as disappointed as you assume.
You get into these beautiful rhythms where you look at your sleep schedule, and it’s healthy, and you look at how much you’ve worked out, and it’s healthy. And you think of how many times you’re around the dinner table instead of the drive-thru, and it feels right.
Some of you might love that and respect that; some of you might be disappointed in that: «Like I’m not working hard enough?» But I’m okay if you’re disappointed. Years ago, I heard a pastor’s wife say, «In life, you will always disappoint someone—don’t let it be your kids.»
So if I’m a mediocre pastor and a great dad, I will not die with regret. How about you? As you think about what matters most—your soul, your body, your family—what can you say yes to and what can you say no to? I don’t know what your schedule will look like, but I do know this: whether people respect it or hate it, whether they approve of it or shake their heads at it, it really doesn’t matter when you schedule it.
The gospel—the good news of Jesus—who said, «Come to me, all of you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.»
Prayer
Oh Father, it’s tricky because we can’t see Your face, but we can see theirs! We can’t hear the angels applauding when we make wise decisions, but we can read people’s comments and their texts, and so we really need Your help today. As the Bible says, to walk by faith and not by sight.
Now we can see people, their expressions and reactions; we can’t see You. So, open the eyes of our heart to see You by faith, to know that if Your face is shining upon us today, we have everything we need; we have You! If the Lord is our shepherd, we shall not want; we shall not be in need! We will have learned the secret of being content and the secret of being balanced and not burned out.
Oh Father, there are a lot of people here who are used to pleasing people. They’re used to being that person who’s always there to step up and step in. There are some people who are used to excelling and exceeding and impressing. For all of us-those of us who are like that-God, we need You today to remind us that what we have in Christ is so much bigger and so much better! We thank You today for Jesus' love. We thank You today for the gift of Heaven, which we will receive one day. And we thank You also for the gift of God’s approval, which we receive on this day by faith. In Jesus' name, it’s through Him that we ask and pray all these things. And all God’s people said, «Amen.»
Now we can see people, their expressions and reactions; we can’t see You. So, open the eyes of our heart to see You by faith, to know that if Your face is shining upon us today, we have everything we need; we have You! If the Lord is our shepherd, we shall not want; we shall not be in need! We will have learned the secret of being content and the secret of being balanced and not burned out.
Oh Father, there are a lot of people here who are used to pleasing people. They’re used to being that person who’s always there to step up and step in. There are some people who are used to excelling and exceeding and impressing. For all of us-those of us who are like that-God, we need You today to remind us that what we have in Christ is so much bigger and so much better! We thank You today for Jesus' love. We thank You today for the gift of Heaven, which we will receive one day. And we thank You also for the gift of God’s approval, which we receive on this day by faith. In Jesus' name, it’s through Him that we ask and pray all these things. And all God’s people said, «Amen.»