Mike Breaux - How to Honor Your Parents (01/13/2026)
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Summary:
In the final message of the «Fight for Your Family» series, Mike Breaux teaches that the ultimate upgrade for family relationships is a culture of honor—competing to «outdo one another in showing honor» (Romans 12:10). Honor means attaching a high price tag to others, valuing them highly as image-bearers of God. This countercultural practice creates humility, mutual submission, and flourishing families that positively impact society. Breaux urges parents to model and teach honor, kids/students to practice it (respect role, first-time obedience, truth-telling, gratitude, forgiveness), and everyone to craft a family «Honor Creed» to live it out intentionally.
Welcome and Series Wrap-Up
All right, what is up, everybody? Great to see you all! Thanks for being here today. Welcome to Lakepointe. Glad you’re here! My name is Breaux, in case we’ve never met before, and I get to be on the teaching team around this place. I want to welcome all of our campuses and those of you who might be joining us online as well. I’m grateful that we all get to do this together. Today, we are wrapping up this series where we’ve been hearing God say to us, «Come on, fight for your family.»
If you missed any of the weeks, I encourage you to jump online and check out the previous weeks; they were so helpful. I love my family, and I’ve been fighting for my family for a long time.
Family Humor and Honest Toddler Posts
Debbie and I have three kids: our daughter Jod has three kids, our oldest son Derek has three kids, and our youngest son Drew has four kids; his youngest is two and right in the middle of potty training. It is so fun! The other night, Friday night, we were in our house, and there were 20 of us in the house, all cheering the 2-year-old on the potty.
You know, I’m glad we finally stopped doing that at some point in our lives, cheering each other on like that! But Drew is right in the middle of all that two- and three-year-old stuff. He sent me a bunch of stuff that some funny guy posted on Twitter or X or whatever it’s called now. It’s from an account called Honest Toddler; it’s really a dad who just posts as a toddler, and it’s kind of funny. For instance, tonight’s bedtime story was about three pigs struggling with repeated home invasions. Thanks for the new fear! I love this one: getting a lecture about spinach from someone whose bones crack in eight places every time they stand.
I love this one: «Don’t know where my next meal is coming from, but I sincerely hope it’s not Pinterest.» Is anybody else with him on that one? I love this one: funny how after 10:00, asking for a sip of water is on the same level as attempted murder. And this one: «On follow-up, you’ll wet the bed.» Dehydrate me to save pull-ups. Why are we so broke? And the last one is this: «The problem with you people is that you think children are like smartphones, and upgrading every two years is normal.»
Now, while it is impossible to upgrade kids, it is possible for us to upgrade the way we parent them and to upgrade the way we build into each other in our families. So today, I want to wrap all this up by talking about an amazing upgrade that will change everything in your family. It’s a thing called honor.
The Competition of Honor
You know, we love to compete, don’t we? And we love to watch people compete. The Olympics were amazing; football season is cranking up. We love competition! Now, granted, some of us love it more than others. My wife Debbie is the least competitive person I’ve ever met in my entire life. When our daughter was playing basketball, she called Jod to the sidelines and said, «Jodie, quit stealing the ball from those other girls; girl, you’re going to hurt their feelings!»
This is basketball! You know, when she’s playing cards, she is clueless about who is playing what. She doesn’t count cards; she doesn’t pay attention to what’s been played, and then she says, «What are we doing? You two sets in a run? Oh, okay; I think I got that.» And the only one who doesn’t care at all beats everybody, and all the competitors in our family just go absolutely crazy! We love to compete.
So for all you competitors, I want to show you a competition that is an absolute game changer for families and for all relationships, for that matter. Check this out: Romans 12:10 says, «Love one another with brotherly affection. Here it is: outdo one another in showing honor.» You want to compete? You want to really blow somebody away? Then outdo one another in showing honor. The word honor literally means to attach a high price tag to look at somebody else and say, «I see great value in you.» When we honor someone, we’re saying, «I just want to attach a high price tag to you; I think you are valuable.»
You read through the Bible, and you’ll see how Scripture is pretty clear about this concept of attaching a high price tag to everybody. We should honor all people. We are to honor those, the Bible says, whom we feel maybe don’t deserve it. We are to honor those in positions of authority over us, even if we disagree with their politics. We are to honor the elderly; we are to honor the poor; we are to honor church leaders; we are to honor God; and we are to honor each other in the family.
Philippians 2:3 says, «Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility, value or honor others above yourselves.» When we value other people above ourselves, when we try to outdo one another in showing honor, when we go around attaching a high price tag to everybody who was made in the image of God—and that would be everybody—then everybody wins. Somebody put it like this: «A culture of honor celebrates who a person is without stumbling over who they are not.»
Gang, life in the kingdom of God is so countercultural. It is not a «me first» kind of experience; it’s an other-centered kind of life where, according to Jesus, you actually descend into greatness. Again, Romans 12:10 says, «Be devoted to one another in love; honor one another above yourselves.» We saw this verse; I think it was week one where Ephesians 5:21 says, «Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.»
The Fifth Commandment and Societal Impact
I think He’s just saying, when He says that, out of reverence for Christ, «Husbands, you know all about Jesus’ humility; wives, you know about the humility of Jesus; parents, you know the humility of Jesus; kids, grandparents, in-laws, you know the humility of Jesus.»
It’s just His way; it’s about creating this environment of humility and mutual submission in which we attach a high price tag to everyone. For the past few weeks, we have seen what this guy named Paul, who wrote a lot of the New Testament of the Bible, wrote to husbands, what he wrote to wives, and what he wrote to parents. Then he turns to students and kids—actually, that would be all of us—and he says this: «Children, obey your parents because you belong to the Lord, for this is just the right thing to do. Honor your father and mother. This is the first commandment with a promise: if you honor your father and mother, things will go well for you, and you will have a long life on the earth.»
Now Paul references here the fifth of the Ten Commandments that are listed over in Exodus chapter 20 in the Old Testament section of the Bible. The first four of those Ten Commandments are all about our vertical relationship with God. God says specifically to this nation of wandering Israelites in the wilderness, «You want your community and your nation to flourish? Then above all things, put Me first. I’ve got to be your one thing.» Secondly, «Don’t chase or bow down to other so-called gods. They are phony and will screw up your life.» Number three, «Revere My name because it reflects who I am.» And fourthly, «Carve out time with Me so that you can be refreshed from the inside out.»
You get this vertical relationship with Me right first, and then you’ll get the rest of your relational world in order. And now sitting there as this bridge between our relationship with God and our relationship with other people is this commandment about honor, about attaching a high price tag to each other in the family. You see, a family that loves God and honors each other—that’s the foundation of a healthy society.
I believe that promise that was attached—that it may go well with you in the land—probably doesn’t refer to personal longevity, because I know some people who greatly honor their parents, but they died at a relatively young age.
But rather, this is saying if honor goes on in the home, then it will go well in the community; it’ll be solid, and the nation will flourish. It will go well with you in the land if there’s not honor going on between parents and kids. You’re going to have a messed-up family, which is going to lead to a messed-up neighborhood, which is going to lead to a messed-up city, a messed-up state, a messed-up country, a messed-up world. You see, it all comes back to you and me and what we do with this gift of honor!
Again, our culture loves to compete, but it seems to have little interest in competing in this. Let’s just be real: American culture is not set up to promote honor or humility or mutual submission; rather, it’s designed to maximize individual accomplishment and success. It’s why we highlight, market, exalt, and follow those who have reached a certain level of influence, beauty, fame, or financial status. So with all this emphasis on individual accomplishments, we can compete and push our kids to compete so much so that there’s little time left over for things that really matter, like pursuing God, serving other people, and developing intimacy within the family.
In our culture, it seems like we compete in just about everything but trying to outdo one another in showing honor. And I believe, I don’t think I’m overstating this, I believe it’s our refusal to compete in that that’s killing our nation and our families.
Cultural Warning from 2 Timothy
I’m not trying to be a prophet here; I’m not trying to be an alarmist. In fact, most of you know by now I’m pretty much an upbeat, optimistic, glass-half-full kind of guy. But I want you to check out what Paul wrote to this young pastor named Timothy. He said this: «You should know this, Timothy: that in the last days there will be very difficult times, for people will love only themselves and their money. They’ll be boastful and proud, scoffing at God, disobedient to their parents and ungrateful. They will consider nothing sacred; they will be unloving and unforgiving. They will slander others and have no self-control. They will be cruel and hate what is good. They’ll betray their friends, be reckless, be puffed up with pride, and love pleasure rather than God. They will act religious but will reject the power that could make them godly.» Man, that’s pretty sobering and an accurate description of the way things currently are, wouldn’t you say?
And did you catch that line about disobedient to their parents? Come on! I mean, that’s quite a thing to put on that list of terrible things that are going to happen. Is that so terrible? Well, God says, «Yeah, you see, disobedience and disrespect, dishonoring of parents is a rebelliousness against the authority structure the Heavenly Father has set up. It’s an indication of a heart that’s not quite right and a life that is destined for selfishness and frustration. If we cannot establish a strong sense of stability in the family structure, then our society will eventually crumble.» History proves that. John Ruskin wrote, «The history of the rise and fall of the great civilizations of this world is not its record of its wars, but a history of its households.»
So when we honor each other in the family, it has a huge positive ripple effect on the rest of society.
Parents' Responsibility to Teach and Model Honor
And parents, you do realize, don’t you, that we have to teach our kids this concept of honor? It’s actually a gift to them when we do. If you have kids, then you know their first words are not, «Oh, Father! Oh, Mother! How can I honor you?» Their first words are «No!» Right? They say «no.» I can remember a time when Jod was just a little girl—probably two, two and a half; something like that. We lived in an old house in Cincinnati, Ohio, and it had a really steep staircase in it. She was going up the stairs, and I said, «Jodie, don’t go up those stairs.» She just kept on climbing. I said, «Jodie, don’t go up those stairs.» She just kept on climbing. I said, «Jodie, do not go up those stairs, » and she turned and looked at me and said, «Don’t worry about it, Big Daddy!»
I just cracked up! Now, we can smile at the cuteness and even the challenges of the terrible twos and threes, but I’m telling you, left unchecked, defiant toddlers grow up to be defiant kids, who grow up to be rebellious teenagers, who grow up to be dysfunctional adults who just keep perpetuating this cycle of dishonor. So as parents, it’s our responsibility. It’s our responsibility to teach, disciple, and model what it means to attach a high price tag to other people. And when you teach your kids how to treat you and how to respect other people, it will serve them well for their lifetime.
Now let me add this: it makes it a whole lot easier when a parent works on being honorable. We saw this verse; I think it was last week in Ephesians chapter 6:4, where it says, «Fathers, don’t exasperate your kids; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.» Also, in Colossians chapter 3, it says, «Parents, don’t come down too hard on your children or you’ll crush their spirits.»
Practical Ways for Kids/Students to Honor Parents
A lot has been said in this series to men. A lot has been said in this series to women, husbands, wives, and parents. But I just want to spend a few minutes speaking directly to a segment of our family here that I love and respect with all my heart. I want to talk to our amazing kids and students, and I just want to say to you: never underestimate what a gift it is to honor your folks.
It says in Deuteronomy 5:16, «Honor, or attach a high price tag to your father and your mother, as the Lord your God has commanded you, so that you may live long and that it may go well with you in the land the Lord your God is giving you.»
It’s just saying if you live a life of honor, when you grow up with that spirit in you, when you have a humble heart that attaches a high price tag to other people, specifically your folks, it’s just going to go well with you. So let me quickly give you some practical ways that you can start to honor your parents.
Number one is this: respect their role. Sometimes parents are not very honorable, and none of us are perfect. As a dad, I’m probably less perfect than most, but you still honor your parents by respecting their role of authority that God has given them over you. This means you don’t raise your voice to them; you don’t yell at them; you don’t cuss at them; you don’t be sarcastic; you don’t give them the silent treatment. All of that is dishonoring.
Anybody ever watch that old show that’s been on forever? Matt Groening, who was the creator, has been criticized through the years by parents who said that Bart Simpson was not a very good role model for kids. In a Time magazine interview, Groening once said, «I now have a seven-year-old and a nine-year-old, so all I can say is I apologize! Now I know what you guys were talking about.» He’s just saying a little less Bart would be a really good start.
So just behave in a way that respects your parents' role of authority in your life. And if you’re serious about this honor deal, then also respond with first-time obedience. When the Bible says—as we read there—obey your parents, the word «obey» literally means to immediately throw open the door; that’s what it means. So that means you don’t make them count to three; you don’t wait until they threaten your screen time or your life—you just do it the first time.
The only time you’re not to obey them is if they ask you to do something that your Heavenly Father, the ultimate authority, would not ask you to do, but otherwise, you’re to obey even if it seems kind of lame or unreasonable.
I saw a letter from a student that wrote to a counselor and the student wrote this: «I’m 15 years old, and my biggest problem is my mom. She’s a really nice person; I know she loves me, but all she does is nag, nag, nag from morning till night. It’s put down your phone, do your homework, wash your face, go clean up your room. How can I get her off my case?» The counselor wrote back: «Put down your phone, do your homework, wash your face, go clean up your room. Just do it the first time!»
And we do it the first time, because that’s the honorable thing to do. Another way to honor your parents—I didn’t know quite how to put this—but just talk to them. Don’t grunt! Because when I was in high school, like some of you, I went through the grunt stage. Anybody else go through that stage? I’d walk in, and they’d say, «How’s school?» I’d go, «All right.» «What you do?» «I dunno.» «I know you’re hungry.» I just grunted my way all the way through the house. Then I would complain to my friends about how boring my family was, you know, and I wasn’t exactly Mr. Excitement when I walked through the door. So talk to your folks! Open up! Share things! You might even like what happens when you start to become really good friends.
I can honestly say these days my kids are three of my very best friends. I love hanging with my kids, and our friendship started a long, long time ago as, through the years, we just worked on open communication and choosing joy with each other and mutual submission. Another big-time way to show honor is to always tell them the truth. Just tell your folks the truth! Don’t lie about where you’ve been; don’t come up with elaborate cover-up stories where you enlist friends to be your accomplices. Don’t hide stuff!
So just tell them the truth! And if you want to really honor your parents, don’t put them down with your friends. I know parents are an easy target, but don’t talk about them behind their back. Don’t repeat stuff you heard them say to each other in private. Don’t say to your friends, «My dad is so stupid!»
Another huge way that all of us show honor in the family is to forgive their failures. You know, parents make mistakes; we all do, sometimes really big ones. I’ve had to go to my kids a number of times through the years and apologize and ask forgiveness.
Another simple way to honor your parents is to express appreciation—just say thanks more often! «Thanks for supper, Mom; it was great!» «Thanks for putting gas in my car, Dad. Thanks for washing my uniform.»
And while parents certainly don’t have all the answers, if you want to honor them, respect their advice. Respect their advice!
Extended Family and Role Reversal
So some of you might remember how Moses stood up in front of the whole nation of Israel. This is in Deuteronomy chapter 6, and he says to the people of Israel, «The Lord’s your God; He’s the Lord alone. You must love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your strength, and you must commit yourself wholeheartedly to these commands I’m giving you today. Repeat them again and again to your children; talk about them when you’re on the road, when you’re going to bed, and when you’re getting up.»
But here’s something that jumped out at me for the first time when I read this again. Moses addresses the entire nation—the whole people of God! Their culture was built around community, so you had multigenerational families all living together. Everyone’s there when he’s talking: Grandma, Grandpa, aunts, uncles, cousins, neighbors, friends. So the Hebrew word that Moses uses here when he says, «You must, ” is in the plural form. He’s not just saying „y’all, ” but rather the plural of „y’all, ” which we all know is „all y’all, ” right? He’s saying that helping families and kids and students grow and flourish is not just an individual thing; it’s an all y’all kind of thing!
One last thing: there’s a day coming when roles begin to reverse, and the parent becomes the child and the child becomes the parent. I’m just guessing that some of you are right there right now! And the way you show honor is to return the care and compassion.
You see, honor is that gift that just keeps on giving! Proverbs 17:6 says, „Children’s children are a crown to the aged, and parents are the pride of their children.“ Proverbs 23:22 says, „Listen to your father who gave you life, and do not despise your mother when she is old.“
Family Honor Creed Example
I want to leave us all with this challenge as we wrap this whole series up: why not sit down sometime this week and just write what I would call an „Honor Creed“? Just write down what it might look like to outdo one another in showing honor in your family. Now, if this would help you, let me just read to you a personal example that we crafted years ago. Maybe you could use something like this as a template to get you started:
„We choose to honor each other and God in this family, recognizing the enormous worth our Heavenly Father places on each one of us. We will intentionally attach a high price tag to each other. We serve each other. We refuse to elevate our needs above the other members of this family. We think of others first, and we stand with and for each other. Our love will be genuine in this home; it will flow deep and wide and long and high. We choose to love each other unconditionally with the same kind of love with which God has loved us. That means we tell the truth to each other in this family, even when it’s difficult and when it is a hard kind of truth. We will always wrap it in grace and tenderness. We treat each other with genuine affection in this family. We express our love through words and actions, and that expression of love is never less than sincere. We honor each other by watching what we say and how we say it.
We openly express what we’re feeling, but we don’t yell at each other; we don’t throw fits or pout or use bad language in this home. That’s just not honorable. We live our lives in our home; we fill our lives in our home with the truly good things of life, and we stay away from the things that lead us away from God. We laugh a lot; we tease a lot; we play a lot. We’re good friends. And since we are deeply imperfect people, we’re always patient with each other the way God is patient with us. We pray together and for each other consistently. We eat together, and our table and our fridge are open to whoever needs a meal or a family. We live beyond ourselves and eagerly share our home and our resources with whoever God brings our way. Our home will be an inviting place where people will want to be because we choose to honor each other and God in this family.“
So why not just sit down and craft one of those personally? Sit down with the family, get some input, write it down, get it printed out, maybe even get it framed, and hang it somewhere where everybody can see it in the family. And as we fight for our families, let’s compete! Let’s try to outdo one another in showing honor!
Closing Prayer
I want you to pray with me.
Father, I’m so grateful for the way that You attach a high price tag to us. Jesus, just a few minutes ago, we held a piece of bread and a cup of juice to remember the way You did that. So thank You for that gift of honor. Thank You that it’s made eternal life possible for all of us. And Lord, as we wrap this series up together, I pray that Your Holy Spirit would stamp in our hearts whatever we needed to hear, whatever it is that we need to work on. Cooperate with You, God! Help us not to just walk away from it all and not practice any of it. I just pray that our families would be stronger and better because of it! Thank You for the way You gently teach us. Thank You for the way You encourage us, even convict us at times! I’m so grateful for the way You do that. You’re a Heavenly Father; You’re perfect, and we love You and we trust You, and we want to do life Your way. I pray all this in the name of Jesus. Amen.