Mike Breaux - Overcoming Addiction

TOPICS: Addiction

What’s up, Lake Point family? Great to see you guys this weekend! My name is Mike, bro, in case we haven’t met before, and I get the privilege of being on the teaching team around this place. I just want to welcome all of our campuses and those of you who might be joining us online somewhere around the world. I’m so thankful for all of you, and it’s so cool to see what God has done in 2020. I’m praying that you’re embracing hope for this brand new year.

I just gotta say I’m super grateful that we are addressing how all that has been going on has taken a very real mental and emotional toll on lots of people. I mean, anxiety is at an all-time high, and depression is settling in like a fog on many people. The fear of the future is paralyzing a whole lot of folks, relationships have been fractured, and addictions are soaring. So we just thought we need to talk about all this and do it honestly and openly with no shame, no embarrassment, no judgment, recognizing that all of us struggle with something.

You know, so many of my friends and extended family have struggled with mental health in some way. My dad was diagnosed with bipolar disorder with paranoia and schizophrenia as well. My dad also had an alcohol and gambling addiction at one point in his life, and all of that may have stemmed from what they didn’t know they called PTSD from World War II. I mean, I cannot remember a time in his life when he did not have to manage his thoughts. He would often say to me, «So Mike, I’m just really nervous.» I’m grateful for the way that doctors helped him get on the right meds and all the support he had from all kinds of different people, but especially for the transforming power of Jesus Christ that changed his heart and helped him think more clearly. My mom battled anxiety and insecurity for most of her life, and for the last seven years of her life, she battled Alzheimer’s.

So mental health is no stranger to me. In fact, I told my wife Debbie, «If genetics have any part to play, I might be a handful for you in about 20 years.» Heck, I might be now! But we all can be, can’t we? I mean, it’s amazing how most of us are like the rest of us. We all struggle with something, right? So you just need to know that this is a community of fellow strugglers. No one’s got it completely figured out; we’re just walking toward Jesus. No perfect people are allowed at Lake Point; we’re all in this together. You are not alone, and you also need to know this: there are a bunch of us who have found healing and freedom in this place through Jesus Christ. There is hope, there is peace, and there is new life waiting for anybody who wants to embrace it. Jesus Christ came to set us free, and like we just sang, he really can break every chain.

Today we’re talking about addictions, talking about chains. And when I say addiction, I’m talking about anything that has a firm grip on a person’s life. I’m talking about anything that keeps you stuck. I’m talking about anything that keeps you from experiencing true freedom in the life that Jesus came to give us all. I don’t know, maybe you’re in bondage to fear, or shame, or guilt about the past. Or maybe it’s perfectionism for you, or maybe it’s codependency. Or perhaps you’ve got some deep-seated anger rolling around inside of you. Or maybe, if you’re really honest, alcohol has become unmanageable in your life. Or maybe it’s drugs, or gambling, or an eating disorder. Or perhaps you find yourself in a grip of pornography or some other kind of sexual addiction. Maybe you’re experiencing what the Bible refers to as a stronghold, something in your life that just dominates your thoughts, your behavior, your relationships, and just keeps you all chained up.

Well, today I want to focus on breaking those chains and taking some steps toward freedom and wholeness in this new year. My good friend Jen Oaks and I were able to help our buddy Keith Repult write this book called «Just Breathe.» It’s all about his story, and you need to read it. It’s such an unbelievable read; you’ll get to hear a little bit of his story today, but it is the remarkable journey of a guy who was in the grip of all kinds of addictions and hopelessness. To watch him today, I mean, I just talked to him for an hour last night. To see what God is doing in his life and how many people he’s helping is just amazing. In the book, we use the word BREATHE to outline some proactive steps that we all need to take. All of us need to take these in order to breathe deeply and walk free.

So, I’d like to share those with you really quickly today, and I’m praying that perhaps they’ll give every one of us a framework to start a new life in our recovery. The B in the word BREATHE stands for Broken. Blessed are the broken. The first words out of Jesus’ mouth when he started his ministry were, «Blessed are the poor in spirit.» Yeah, blessed are the busted. Blessed are those who are spiritually destitute, who recognize their spiritual poverty. Blessed are the broken.

I’m learning that freedom begins with an admission that things are not okay in my life; my life has become unmanageable. I can’t do this on my own; I really need some help. A while back, I ran across some winners in the annual Word Smash-Up contest, the neologisms, what they call them, in The Washington Post, where people kind of smash words together to make new words. Here are a few of my favorites: «coughi» — a person who was coughed upon; there’s the coffer, there’s the coffee, right? I love this one: «abdicate» — to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach. Anyone else abdicated? I have definitely abdicated! I like this one: «yoga» — that’s the only guy in the yoga class; don’t be the «yo» guy. You know what about this one: «esplanade» — that’s an attempt at an explanation while you’re drunk. «Officer, let me let me let me explanate.» I like this one: «frisbeeterianism» — that’s the belief that when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck there. That’s frisbeeterianism! And my favorite is «pokemon» — as a Jamaican proctologist: «pokémon!»

Now, here’s one that I made up after years of working with people: the word is «hypofine react» — that’s a person who knows they’re sick but keeps saying, «I’m fine! I’m fine! I got this! Not an issue! Totally under control! I wouldn’t call it like an addiction or anything; it’s not really causing problems in my relationships. It’s not really affecting my mind; it’s not affecting my ability to work or to function. Besides, I can stop anytime I want to; I’m just not really sure I want to. I’m fine! I’m fine!»

Really, there’s a story in John chapter 5 where Jesus meets this guy who was physically broken. Scripture says he’d been an invalid for 38 years, and Jesus’ heart is filled with compassion toward this guy. It’s a cool story of healing, hope, dignity, and new beginnings, but this story contains what I’ve come to know as one of the most important questions for life and recovery. Before Jesus even touches the man, he asks him this question: «Do you want to get well?»

Now when I first read that story, I thought to myself, «Jesus, come on! It’s obvious! That’s a stupid question: ‘Do you want to get well? ’» But after years of my own stubborn refusal to change and working with so many people through the years who have been living in denial, I’ve discovered that’s not a stupid question; it’s actually one of the most important questions we can ask ourselves. Sure, we might be miserable; we might be sick, and we might be tired, and things feel like they’re spiraling. When we know we’ve got a problem, we know there’s something that’s got a grip on us; we know that things are out of control. But do we really want to get well?

You see, freedom begins with an admission of brokenness. It’s coming to God, saying, «God, I’m broken! I’m busted! I need help! I really want to get well!» That’s where it begins. And the good news is, God has the power to help, and even better news is, He really wants to. I love what Paul writes in 2 Corinthians chapter 1: «We felt we were doomed to die, and we saw how powerless we were to help ourselves. But that was good; for then we put everything into the hands of God, who alone could save us.» That’s good news! There is power in powerlessness. When you and I humble ourselves and admit our weaknesses, God’s strength then has permission to begin to flow through us and help us break through the surface and really start to breathe. God alone has the power to help you and me walk free, and there’s only one thing in the entire universe stronger than the power of God. You know what that is? His desire to help you, His desire to love you and heal you and pull you out and lead your life.

Bill W, referring to one of the founders of AA, once wrote this: «We found that God could and would if He were sought.» And gang, if that’s true, as millions of addicts can attest, then isn’t it also possible that God can’t and won’t if He’s not? It’s why Jesus asked the question, «Do you want to get well?» The surrender of our will to the will and supernatural power of God is the pathway to freedom. As long as we live in denial of a problem, as long as we try to work the whole image management thing, pretending everything’s fine—really, everything’s fine—as long as we try to hang onto our pride and fix things by ourselves, as long as we just try to exert mere willpower, as long as we try to excuse and rationalize our behavior, as long as we don’t really want to get well, we will lack the power to change. The power lies in the admission of powerlessness: blessed are the broken!

It comes when you humble yourself.

And the R stands for Relinquished Control. Blessed are the broken who relinquish control. You come to God and say, «God, I am so broken, and I’m ready to give up control of my life to somebody greater than me. I’m ready to give up control of my life to someone who can actually help me and heal me and break my chains that are holding me back.» You make a decision to relinquish control; you surrender to God, and you allow Him to go to work in you. Can I tell you why it took me so long to surrender? There’s a little thing inside of me called ego, which stands for Edging God Out. Do you know that? I think it’s what the Bible says that God detests pride because it keeps us all from experiencing His love. It keeps us all from experiencing His power and acceptance and leadership, and His wisdom, which God knows could change everything about our lives. But we’re so prideful; we’re so full of ego that we won’t let go.

Humility is the key to recovery. We’ve got to get to a point in our lives where we quit playing God and choose to surrender every day to His care and control. I’ve had this written in the margin of an old Bible for years now: «The greatness of a man, the greatness of a woman, is directly proportionate to the measure of their surrender.» The greatness of a man, the greatness of a woman, is directly proportionate to the measure of their surrender. And this giving up control to someone greater than you—this surrender—it’s a daily, throughout-the-day kind of thing where you come to God in the morning, saying, «My life is Yours again today, Lord! I surrender to You again this day. Help me today, God! Help me in this moment! Help me to take this one step at a time! Help me to live in the awareness of Your presence and Your power today. Once again, I’m relinquishing control to You!»

The E in the word BREATHE stands for Evaluate my life with fearless honesty. Do you guys get some good stuff for Christmas? I want you to think back for a second: what’s the best gift you ever got when you were a kid at Christmas time? Does anyone remember? You remember that far back? Maybe it’s like a PlayStation, or maybe you got an Xbox, or maybe old-school Nintendo or something. You can think way back to when you got a Cabbage Patch Kid, remember those things? Or you got a bike, or maybe you got a puppy for Christmas?

I can remember one Christmas specifically when I got this game. You guys remember this game? It’s called «Operation.» You know the game I’m talking about? You get to play surgeon on this guy! This guy’s laid out, like, on a cardboard box, he’s got all these electrodes hooked up to him, and you have to remove his quote-unquote organs without touching the sensitive sides surrounding those organs. And if you accidentally make a mistake, the buzzer goes off and you kind of get, like, a little shock, and his electronic red nose lights up and it is game over!

I’m learning that one of the most valuable practices that you and I can do is do a little operation—a little self-exploratory surgery on ourselves. Now, there are different ways that various recovery programs talk about this, but I am learning that somewhere in the early stages of breaking free, you just have to do a little operation. You have to examine yourself with fearless honesty. In many 12-step programs, they call it taking a fearless moral inventory because it’s not easy; that’s why we call it fearless. This is a huge inside-out step. It has to do with coming clean; it has to do with getting honest about the past, getting honest about the dysfunction, getting honest about the struggle, getting honest with God, getting to the root of the issue, and telling the truth to ourselves and to God, and a trusted friend. This is a journey to the center of what’s real, it’s the center of the truth. And this is a step that God wants every single one of us to take.

Got any football fans here? The playoffs are happening right now. My Packers won yesterday; I’m excited about that! But we’re going to get to see referees go to the replay monitor. They’ll kind of go under the booth, so to speak, and they’ll take a closer look at a previous play. They’ll come back on the field after further review; the play on the field stands, so the call on the field is confirmed. Whenever I see those referees go under the hood, so to speak, it makes me think of how important it is for us to do that with God. It’s always a good idea to come to God and say, «God, search me, O God! Let’s go to the replay monitor together! Let’s rewind it; I want You to take a closer look at my character. Any defects You see there?» Because I would love to get Your eyes on my life because You always make the right call. After further review, God, what do You see? What do I need to work on?

And please know, when you do this, God is for you in this process! God is not there to pile on the guilt and pile on the shame and say, «You see that?» He already knows all that stuff. His steady gaze of unfailing love will guide you through this process.

Now to begin the self-exploratory surgery, I would suggest that you get all by yourself. Grab a scalpel—no, just kidding! Just grab a pen and a spiral notebook or get a laptop or whatever you use to write on, and just sit down and start to pray that prayer from Psalm 139: «Search me, O God! God, I need You to know my heart! I want You to test me and know my anxious thoughts, and while You’re at it, could You point out anything in me that offends You? What are some defects in me? Lead me along a freeway; lead me along the path of everlasting life.»

You just ask God to help you out—“God, what’s the honest truth about me? Would You take me to the root of it? What do I feel guilty about and why? What kind of resentment and bitterness do I have on the inside of me, and why is it there? Point out all the things that I’ve done, no matter how painful it is for me to see them. What are some character defects that are in me, God, that need changing? I’m just asking You to reveal me from the inside out!»

And I’m just telling you, better than any replay machine, any CAT scan, any MRI, you can expect God to reveal some things you did not expect to come up, but that’s what you want. It’s about coming clean. Here’s the truth I’m learning from Proverbs 28, verse 13: «People who conceal their sins will not prosper, but if they confess and turn from them, they will receive mercy.» I’m also learning that the sin you want to conceal the most is the one you need to reveal the most. If the goal is getting well, if the goal is walking free, if the goal is breaking chains, what’s the point of hiding stuff?

I’ve also found it to be super helpful to get another person involved—to grab a trusted friend, someone who loves you, and get them involved in the process. You kind of list and share your list of character defects and all that God has brought to your mind; you share it with somebody else. And I’m telling you, it can be one of the most powerful steps on your way to freedom! When you get honest and you get vulnerable about what’s going on on the inside of you and you share that with somebody else, it feels like a ton of weight falls off your shoulders.

I can remember Keith telling me about how when he confessed all this dark stuff that God was bringing up in him to somebody else, he said, «I went home and immediately got on the bathroom scales because I thought I lost weight.» He said, «I didn’t, but I felt like I did.» And that’s why God wants us to do this together: «Confess your sins to each other so that you may be healed.» Remember, we’re all fellow strugglers on this grace journey! So find a trusted person who understands the value of what you’re trying to do. Confide in someone who is mature enough that they won’t be shocked or post stuff on social media. Choose somebody who knows the Lord well enough that they can reflect His grace and His wisdom to you.

And since we’re talking about getting other people involved, the next step is so key to breaking any kind of stronghold in your life. The A in the word BREATHE stands for Amends. It’s time to make amends. You know, one of the things that keeps you and me locked up is a thing called bitterness, and Josh talked at length about this last weekend. If you missed it, you need to go back and get it online, re-watch it, or re-listen to it because, man, it’s so helpful!

When you get honest with yourself and do that self-exploratory surgery, you do that fearless moral inventory step, you will find that a lot of the emotion and a lot of the pain and a lot of the regret, the remorse, the anger, the disappointment, the guilt, the shame stems from your interaction with—you guessed it—other people. And our responsibility in this step is to do our part to make things right with—you guessed it—other people. So it’s time to make amends or to seek forgiveness from those you’ve hurt and forgive those who have hurt you. Neither one of those things is easy.

I can remember when Keith was doing this step; he took a road trip. Now, it’s not always possible, and it’s not always profitable, to do that face to face with another person. He talks about it all in the book, but he had to do some research to find some people in his past. He had to make a few embarrassing phone calls. He had to stand before tombstones in cemeteries and just apologize to people that were no longer around. He went on a road trip to Memphis, Tennessee, where he grew up, and he knocked on the door of this house. The guy answered, and he says, «Hey, you don’t know me. My name is Keith, and when I was 17, I broke into your house and I stole your bass guitar. Remember that?» He goes, «Yeah, because I sold it for 350 bucks so I could buy drugs. I’m 52 now, so the interest on that would be…» And he gave the guy a check for 1,800 dollars just to say, «I’m so sorry for the way I was when I was 17.»

And it was just a great step for freedom for him, and you might have to do something like that. You might need to take a road trip; you might need to stand before some people in your life, just completely remorseful, exposed, and broken, and ask them to forgive you. And you know what? Even though it’s free, and even though it’s a powerful step, it’s important to point out that making amends and asking for forgiveness is still not about you. It’s just an act of humility. It’s about doing whatever your part is to make things right with other people. It’s about them hearing you own your stuff—not blaming anybody else and not expecting anything in return. You do it even if they don’t forgive you. You do it even if you can’t fix things. You do it even if it doesn’t make the relationship and make everything better. You just choose to humbly do it because it’s the right thing to do.

And the sheer act of just owning your part starts to set you free. But there’s another type of amends that’s really important and powerful as well, and it’s learning to forgive those who have hurt you. I don’t know, but I’m guessing that some of you were sitting there last weekend listening to Josh, and you thought, «I hear you, pastor, but dude, you don’t understand! You don’t understand; my pain goes deep! My parents, they hurt me bad! They owe me! Those kids at school, man, they owe me! My brother owes me! That old girlfriend, she owes me! That ex-spouse, he owes me!»

And you know what? If I do what you’re asking me to do, and I let them off the hook, it just wouldn’t be fair; they need to pay! I used to think that way too, but then I saw this verse. We saw it last weekend: Colossians 3: «Make allowances for each other’s faults and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others!» You see, the fact is we owed God big time, and He didn’t give us fair; He gave us His Son, and He paid the debt that our sin had racked up. So, with that being said, I must forgive others. It’s a key part in me walking free!

Take the time to do this: sit down and compile a list of people that you’ve hurt, and again, it may not be possible or profitable to go back to that person physically, but as you get to that first person and the person that’s hurt you, you make the choice to forgive him or her for every painful memory that comes to your mind. Let God bring those memories to your mind and then release them to God; start working your way down the list. You say, «God, I choose to forgive so-and-so for what they have done to me or failed to do that made me feel…» and write it in there. «I choose not to hold onto this resentment any longer. I’m giving up my right to get even, and I’m asking You to start healing my damaged emotions. Make amends, choose forgiveness; walk out of the prison of bitterness!»

The H in the word BREATHE stands for Think a whole new way. Has anybody else discovered that just because you came to Jesus Christ, there’s not like a delete button in your head? Even though you are forgiven, even though you have your spot reserved in heaven, even though you’re in the process of transformation, we still have thought a certain way for so long that it makes lasting change really, really challenging. Because the truth is, the way we behave is always a reflection of the way we think. That’s why Romans 12:2 has been a game changer for me in my life. It says, «Don’t copy the behavior and customs of this world, but let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think.»

And the more I read that verse, the more it took me some time to realize this is kind of a two-part transformation thing. There’s God’s part and our part. God’s part is the transformation; anything other than God transforming us from the inside out is just mere behavior modification, an exercise of willpower. Paul is saying here, if you really want to get well, then you have to let a power that’s greater than you go to work in you because He is the only one who has the power to change you from the inside out. The word there for transform is «metamorpho, ” which is the word we get metamorphosis from. Let God change you into a brand-new person; transformation—that’s God’s part.

But your part and my part in this transformation process is changing the way we think. We have to renew our mind to a whole new way of thinking, and there are a couple of words that have helped me with this whole renew my mind thing: feeding focus. I say it all the time to myself: „Come on, bro, just feeding focus! Feeding focus, come on, come on, feed and focus!“ I’m telling you, what you feed your mind will determine the release of your full potential.

And let me just get this out of the way. I want to say it with as much grace as I know that I personally need, but if you want to change this year, you just can’t keep feeding your mind junk. If you really want to walk free, if you want to walk in a brand new direction, you cannot continue to fill your mind with pornographic images and fantasies from romance novels and movies, explicit music lyrics, violent video games, deep dives into the comments section on a social media post, cynical political junk, conspiracy theories, and thoughts of revenge and envy toward other people.

And please know that I’m not some preacher who’s railing against the evils of our culture. No, I’m just an ordinary guy who loves you enough to tell you the truth: what you choose to put in your mind will greatly influence the direction you’re going to walk in this new year.

I know from personal experience that to walk a new life, you got to have a new mindset. You have to change the way you think. That’s why Philippians 4:8 says, „Listen, when you need to fill your mind, feed your mind with this: whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, lovely, and admirable—think about these things!“ Feed your mind with these things; focus on things that are excellent and praiseworthy. Just feed and focus, feed and focus. Whatever you feed your mind makes a huge difference, and whatever you choose to focus on has your attention.

Whatever has your attention has you. Sometimes we’ll say, „Okay, so I’m not going to think about that; I’m just not going to think about that. Nope, not gonna think about that, not gonna think about that.“ What are you doing when you’re doing that? You’re thinking about that, right? So it’s not so much about resisting when it comes to renewing our mind; it’s about replacing! Replace those things with true, noble, right, lovely, admirable, praiseworthy things! It’s about changing your focus, and that’s what it means to renew your mind.

Maybe this will help you. Maya, I talked to Keith about this when he was going through this step as well. My brother-in-law, Dave, has a farm in Kentucky—75 acres. His son Casey runs it now, but they have a tractor in a barn, and there’s a path that goes down to this gate. The gate opens up and goes into a farm field where they have cattle and stuff, and I’m telling you, Dave can get on that tractor, start it up, put it on the path, take his hands off the steering wheel completely, and just go right down that path, right through the gate into that field. You know why? Because they’ve been up and down that path so many times over the years that there are deep ruts worn in that path. That way, he can just put the tractor on and it just automatically goes there.

And you know what? The same is true for us: some of us have been driving in the same old ruts for so long—so many months, so many years, so many decades—that we’ve been going up and down the same old mental pathways. We need to have some new ruts, some new pathways, some new habits, some new disciplines, some new patterns of thinking, some new ways of coping, and some new ways of reacting! You have to change your focus, so just focus and breathe! Focus and breathe! Focus and breathe! Let God transform you; He will do that by changing the way you think.

One last letter in the word BREATHE, one last step: encourage others. Now with my life and my story, I think I’ve told you before that I love to do remodeling stuff. I love everything about it, man! I love dreaming; I love demo; I love putting it all back together. I mean, when I finish a day covered in sawdust, it has been a good day! I just love that stuff. And maybe you’re like that, or maybe you’re one of those creative types who can go to a flea market or you go to a garage sale or you see a piece of junk on the side of the road, and you go, „I’m going to get that, ” you put it in the back of the car or back in the truck or whatever, and you turn it into this amazing, unique piece of art. Some of you are like that.

Well, you need to know something: God is really, really good at this! He is great at restoration and repurposing! And whether you know it or not, God can recycle all the pain, He can recycle all the bad decisions, He can recycle all the dysfunction, He can recycle all the garbage in your life and turn it into this incredible story and put it on display that really starts to help other people’s lives. See, God not only wants to forgive you and heal you and restore you and change you and guide you; He wants to use you! Even though we can make a royal mess of our lives, if we will humble ourselves and let Him go to work, He will recycle all that nasty stuff for good! Because nobody’s worthless, and nobody’s useless, and He wants to use your story to help other people.

It’s an important part of your recovery. Let me put it this way: „Having experienced the spiritual awakening, I must now step outside of myself and encourage others with my story and continually changing life.“ I use the phrase „continually changing life“ because you don’t have to wait until you are completely there to be used by God. Just let God use you as a person that’s in process! You may not yet have a ton of great insight to share with other people; you may not yet have the kind of counsel and wisdom that other people further down the road can give to others. But you can say, „I made a decision to turn my life over to the care and control of Jesus Christ, and I can’t explain it, but God’s changing me, man! He’s setting my feet on a new path. He’s helping me walk a new direction just one day at a time, one step at a time. If I can help you in any way, man, I’m here for you!“

I love the way the Apostle Paul writes again in 2 Corinthians chapter 1: „He comforts us all in our troubles so that we can comfort others when they are troubled. We’ll be able to give them the same comfort that God has given us.“ God uses you and me, broken vessels, to carry His message of hope, to tell the story of how God woke us up, pulled us out, and set us free! I mean who better to help somebody struggling with an alcohol addiction or drug addiction than somebody who’s been there? Who better to help somebody with an eating disorder than somebody who’s been there? Who better to help someone through the pain of divorce, abuse, unfaithfulness, bankruptcy, or the loss of a child or a miscarriage or chemotherapy than somebody who’s been there?

There is no more effective healer than a wounded healer-somebody who has been there! And God never, ever wastes a hurt in our life, never! And if you’re willing, He will take your pain, and your struggle, and your story and recycle it in such a way that your life will ripple on people in ways you never dreamed it would.

And He’s doing that with my buddy Keith. Just take a look at a part of his journey.