Michael Todd - The Tragedy of Trying
Today, I feel like I have a unique assignment because I’ve realized, as I was praying, that there are a lot of people whose faith has been fatigued. Yes, right now, you hear us talking about another miracle, and all you hear is another chance for failure. We’re saying another one is on the way, and you might be thinking, «I don’t really feel like doing all the extra it takes to believe God again.» This is not something everybody will come out and say because we want to present that we really do believe God. But the truth of the matter is, in many of our situations, once something doesn’t work out one time as we thought it would, we want to apply our faith in other areas, never in the same one again.
Today, I want to encourage you that God may want to heal you from your faith fatigue. I want to encourage people who have stopped trying to use their faith. Some of you, the honest truth is you’ve stopped trying. Today, write down the title of my message: «The Tragedy of Trying.» Matthew 17:14–20, I’m going to read a lot of scripture, and I’m going to read it from the Amplified version, but I think this will really help you, and I’m excited for what God is about to say. When they approached the crowd, a man came up to Jesus, kneeling before Him and saying, «Now put yourself in this story; it’s happening right in front of you.» «Lord, have mercy on my son; he’s a lunatic.»
Some of y’all say that about your kids right now. «He suffers terribly, for he often falls into the fire—he’s trying to burn himself up—and then he tries to drown himself in the water. I brought him to your disciples, and they were not able to heal him.» Jesus answered, «You unbelieving and perverted generation, how long shall I be with you?» The guy’s talking to Him, but He addresses the disciples. The guy is saying, «I need a miracle,» and His first response is to those who did not perform the miracle. I just want you to watch this; He said, «How long shall I be with you? How long shall I put up with you? Bring that boy here.» Verse 18: Jesus rebuked the demon, and it came out of him, and the boy was healed at once, immediately.
Verse 19: A little later, the disciples came to Jesus privately and asked, «Um, hey, JC, just a little question: why couldn’t we drive the demon out?» He answered, «Because of your little faith. Your lack of trust—watch this—and confidence in the power of God—the reason you weren’t able to do it is because you lack trust and confidence, not in yourself but in the power of God. For I assure you and most solemnly say to you, if you have—watch this—living faith, not just faith, if you have, somebody say, living faith, the size of a mustard seed, you will say to this—what’s the biggest thing I can find? The mountain, 'Be moved from here to there, ' and if it is in God’s will, ooh, we, and if it is in God’s will, it will move, and nothing will be impossible for you.» He then gives this caveat: «But this kind, that we dealt with this morning, does not come out except by prayer and fasting.»
Well, this scripture is a little confusing because, the truth of the matter is, the disciples were actually trying to do what they were taught to do, and when they actually believed and tried to do it, it didn’t work. What happens when you do what God showed you how to do but what you did didn’t get you the results you were looking for, and then He rebukes you for it? This doesn’t seem fair! How, in the world, is the response to me doing what you said for me to do and it not working to be, «Get your faith up»?
My faith was up; that’s why I did it! That’s why I gave, that’s why I believed, that’s why I went there, that’s why I sowed, that’s why I moved, that’s why I did it, and it didn’t work. Where are the real people who will tell me today and be honest that you’ve done some things in God with faith, and it did not work? All right, I’m in the right room today. What do you do when you try to do what God said to do and it doesn’t work? The truth of the matter is most of us stop trying, and today I just want to give the disciples a little more credit because the demonic boy with the daddy were faced with the solution, and they didn’t run from it; they actually tried. It’s more than I can say for a lot of believers.
When you’re faced with a situation that’s bigger than what you’ve ever handled before, most of us would be like, «Hold on one second; let me go figure out who can help you. This is over my pay grade. Let me go get the manager. Hey, I’ve never dealt with a situation like this. I’ve never run a business by myself. I’ve never actually been pure; I’ve never kept my word. This is bigger than me. Let me go find somebody who can really help you.» But what I found out is that most people stop trying because they’re trying to avoid a tragedy. Today, I need to confront the part of you that’s trying to save you from some future moment that is not even guaranteed to come but probably will come.
If you stay in Christ long enough, you will fail in your faith, and I know nobody wants to hear that. But the truth of the matter is I would rather you walk in truth and honesty and actually know what’s coming so that you can prepare yourself and calibrate your mind to walk in this crazy faith and know that sometimes you’re going to have crazy faith, and it fails. They’re not ready for the real of this message today, but I’m going to help somebody because you’ve stopped trying altogether because you thought the failure was final. You stopped trying; you don’t believe God. When somebody’s sick, you automatically reach for the medicine and you don’t pray for them anymore when the Bible clearly states that we can lay hands on the sick and they shall recover.
And we’re not even talking about a terminal disease; we’re talking about a headache, and as soon as a headache comes, you look for ibuprofen and aspirin and everything, and you won’t even lay your hands on the sick. Okay, I’m getting too personal because most people tried it one time. You tried it on yourself; it didn’t work. It’s like, «I know aspirin works; my trust is more in aspirin than in the anointing,» and because I tried it once and it failed, I ain’t doing it again. That’s why some of you don’t invite people to church anymore; it’s because you tried once, they came, and because they didn’t have a conversion, it made you feel some type of way about yourself. Now they’re in a whole another religion, trying to convert you to being a Muslim, and you’re like, «Hold on, wait! This—hold on.» One person who did not believe, which was none of your fault, made you afraid to try again.
Okay, all right, here we go. Today, I need to confront what keeps you from trying to use your faith, and I’m going to give you a few principles, because the tragedy you’re trying to avoid may be the reason why your faith has stunted. Most of us have stunted growth in our faith because we’re trying to avoid something. I just wanted to ask you real questions through this story: What are you trying to avoid? What are you trying not to experience that keeps you from stepping out in faith and looking a little crazy for the sake of God? Because I don’t want to experience nothing, let’s see what happens. Verse 16 says, «And I brought him to your disciples, and they were not able to heal him.»
Let’s set the scene: Jesus' disciples are going out two by two, doing what Jesus told them to do. They go to perform the miracle, and the little boy is like… I mean, just think about it: in the name of Jesus, come out! And the dad’s like, «I think it’s getting worse.» You know what I’m saying? It’s like, uh-oh. He’s never done this before! And the dad’s like, «All right, y’all quit. Come here, boy, come on.» Just think about it. How would you feel as the disciple? You’re like, «Okay, yeah, y’all go in peace.» And they’re talking to each other like, «Yo, bro, that was crazy, man! Hopefully… I don’t know, it worked yesterday, but did you pray this morning? Is everything good? Do you need to confess something, bro? I don’t know, let’s shrug that off.»
You’re hoping you’ll never see that man and his son again. Oh, y’all, come on right now! Have you ever done something embarrassing, and you’re praying that the people who saw it, you never see them again? Imagine, 45 minutes later, you’re with Jesus, you haven’t told Him what happened, and everyone’s like, «How was the ministry time?» Man, wow! Powerful! We saw some things we’ve never seen before! And then the man comes up, and it’s like, «Jesus, Jesus, can I get a minute with you?» And the disciples are like, «Oh shoot, there you go.» And he’s like, «Yeah, um, had an encounter with your people earlier today, and uh, my son… he’s full of demons, and I think they gave him some more. He’s worse than he was before, and they tried to do it, but they couldn’t. Can you…?»
How do you think the disciples felt in that moment? Embarrassed. And the first thing I need you to write down is that the first reason why you don’t try is because you’re trying to avoid embarrassment. Most of us are trying to save face with people who we don’t even live our lives for—trying to ensure they think about us in a way that we think about ourselves, but we don’t even know what they think to change the way we think about ourselves. The truth is, if I’m going to be embarrassed in front of anybody and for any cause, why wouldn’t I be embarrassed for the cause of Christ? Why wouldn’t I stick my neck out there and look a little crazy and a little unconventional for the only one who stuck His life out there for me? When I was yet a sinner, He said, «I don’t know if they will accept me, but I’m willing to stick my neck out there and put my life on the line and be embarrassed in front of all of heaven to allow them to have an opportunity to have a relationship with me.»
Most of us will not step across the line and use our faith because we’re trying to avoid the tragedy of being embarrassed. How many times have you stopped doing what God told you to do because you don’t want to look weak? Starting the business with only three people coming? He didn’t ask you to be the one who controls the outcome; He asked you to be faithful over the instruction. And now you’re posting, «Well, only three people are coming to your class, three people to your talk, three people to your presentation,» and now you stop posting about it because you don’t want to be embarrassed. You stopped sharing what God is telling you in private because the last time you shared, you said, «God told me I was going to lose 30 pounds in the next six months.»
In the first three days, you were strong in the gym, the water was flowing, you were walking, and then somehow life hit. Now you stop posting about the journey, you stop talking to your friends, you stop telling them about the business plan. It’s because you’re trying to save yourself from being embarrassed. Today, I have to confront this because the disciples are in an embarrassing situation that did not stop them from the process of allowing their faith to grow. They get embarrassed, and yes, it’s embarrassing, but they keep staying in the process. Most of us, at the moment of embarrassment, say, «I’m done with that.» No—the one thing you’re not going to do is make me look a fool! Come on, some of y’all got this! The one thing I’m not going to do is look stupid. My question is, who are you doing this for? Who in the world are you trying to save face for when the God of the universe is asking you to do something?
Don’t forget, He gave the disciples the instruction to go out and heal. He didn’t say every time you lay hands, somebody’s going to fall out and get healed. He said, «You have the power to do this if you lay hands.» And at the moment of failure, at the moment of their try when it didn’t work out, they had a tragedy. «I’m embarrassed,» but it didn’t stop them from engaging. Write it down: embarrassment should never stop your faith from engaging, because so many of us, at the moment of embarrassment, stop engaging. But let’s see what else these disciples found out in verse 17, because all of us are trying to avoid a tragedy, but I’m telling you, when you try, there might be a tragedy.
The next verse is, «And Jesus answered, 'You unbelieving and perverted generation, how long shall I be with you? How long shall I put up with you? Bring him to me.'» Hold on, dang! Jesus, we messed up! But you didn’t have to blast us like that in front of the man! Like, He’s talking to you, just heal the boy and talk to us later. Come on, y’all, you know there’s another level of being told what to do when it’s done in front of everybody. This is where many other people, if they don’t check out embarrassment, check out at correction.
See, most believers right now only want to be corrected by God himself, and what you’re walking in is pride and ego because God always uses men and women on earth to bring correction. He will show Himself in His word, but the thing is, you cannot have correction without submission. Most people in this world do not have anybody with the «sit down and shut up» card in their life. Because you run your own situation, nobody can speak for God except God, and His word will tell me. Sometimes your cousin has been telling you the whole time, «Leave them alone. Leave them alone. Leave them alone.» They don’t know me; they don’t know my situation, they don’t know how my money flows, they don’t know how my heart is built. Leave them alone. And because you’re not under submission, you can’t accept correction.
Hear what I’m saying: correction is a sign of love. Most of us have viewed correction not as punishment because I need to heal some childhood trauma. Some of you have confused correction with punishment. Punishment has emotion involved—that’s why some of us as children were punished, not disciplined. We were punished. Your mama was mad that you embarrassed her by not getting the grades, so she whooped you because you made her look bad, not because she wanted to help correct the situation. So I need you to differentiate because God doesn’t punish you; He corrects you because He loves you. Some of us need to delineate and forgive and go to counseling to be able to help turn that around because what you’re doing now is the same thing that happened to you with no understanding. Some of your kids are getting punished because there’s emotional backlash involved in your reason for doing what you’re doing to them.
Now you’re going to waste my time, and I’ve got to come up here and do this. You’re training them in the way they should go, so when they get older, they won’t depart. That’s why there may be a generational pattern that some of you need to break. I’m going to leave it right there because some of y’all need counseling. Let me go to another camera; that camera’s too hot!
So, the disciples get embarrassed after their try, and then they get openly corrected after their try, but they don’t disengage from the process. You don’t ever hear about the disciples leaving this moment. I just want to ask you: if you tried to use your faith, and it didn’t work, and you were embarrassed, and then God corrected you on how you did what you did and who you told, would you try again? The tragedy of trying is that there might be a moment where it doesn’t work. What do you do when everything you said and believed was going to happen doesn’t happen like that?
These disciples—I love the Word of God because it was divinely inspired, put together by a whole bunch of people in different places, in different seasons, and used by God. It divinely works together. If I were writing my own story, I would only put in the highlights. This story wouldn’t have made the Bible if I were a disciple writing it. But God uses their failure to teach all of us something about continuing to use our faith. Please extract from their disappointment the faith and courage to try again.
So what keeps us from trying? The first thing is embarrassment. The second thing that keeps us from trying is correction. Watch this: the third thing that keeps us from trying, we find in verse 19. Then the disciples came to Jesus privately and asked, «Why could we not drive it out?» I love this because, after I was embarrassed and corrected, I wouldn’t be bringing it up anymore. Come on, let’s just be honest—why would we ever go back to that moment unless you want to bring it up for encouragement? I’m done with it. Some of y’all had stuff happen to you in 1979, and nobody ever talked about it again, and you’re not going to bring it up until the next side of heaven.
But these disciples show us something: they want to know why. They’re intrigued beyond their embarrassment and correction. They go back to Jesus when it didn’t work and ask the question, «Why didn’t this work? Why didn’t the relationship go the way I thought? Why didn’t I get that job? God, why, after I fasted and prayed and moved to that city, did it feel like all hell broke loose against me? Why didn’t that business actually make me financially free? Why did that move put me in more debt? Why, when I prayed for my family member, did they still die? Why?»
Today, I have to correct this theology because many of you have been taught not to ask God why. Very good: don’t question God! Just because your bishop doesn’t have the answer doesn’t mean God doesn’t have it. Okay, let me stop. Just because your group leader doesn’t have the answer, they’re not supposed to. His ways are not our ways; His thoughts are not our thoughts. God is not offended; this tells us you can ask Him why. Some of y’all would be able to try again if you were just honest with God and said, «Why? Why did I have to endure this? Why did it end in divorce? Why don’t none of my kids serve God? Why do I feel so lonely?»
There are so many things we avoid because it exposes that it’s past your understanding. Faith begins where understanding ends. The question why, many times, is the invitation into an understanding of faith that you did not have before. The reason you couldn’t grasp it before is because you acted like you knew it before, but when you get to the end of yourself, that’s when God shows up. When you get to the end of how you thought it was going to happen, that’s when God shows up. When you get to the end of your money, that’s when God shows up as Jehovah Jireh, my provider.
The question why may be an indicator of the level of faith you’re about to walk into. The thing that almost kept these disciples from asking why is that when you ask why, it exposes your insufficiencies. Whenever you say why, it means you couldn’t figure it out. Whenever you say why, it means, uh-oh, I don’t know. So many believers are trying to look like they’re in control instead of giving over that control and living a life of surrender and dependence.
I don’t know why God called me into this. I don’t know why people make up stories about me. I found out last week that I’m in the top third of the Illuminati. No, I’m at the top tier. I was like, «Dang, y’all feel me?» I mean, a whole graph and chart and everything. I screenshotted it; it was cool, like, wow, we made it to the Illuminati. I don’t even know how to spell that, but why, God? Why would people make up lies about me? You asked me to read people; I don’t even want to. Okay, I can’t, I can’t be honest. Why did this happen? Why did my son have to have autism? Why is he in therapy four times a week? Why do we have to hire someone to go to school with him? Why? Why did my wife go through depression? Why? Why do we have to do counseling three times a month for five days? Why can’t this just work? Why? I believe you; I did what you said. I prayed; I gave.
I didn’t do what I wanted to do. I wanted to be a producer. I wanted to be on the Renaissance tour right now. I wanted to be playing drums for Beyoncé, but I disobeyed my will and obeyed yours. So, okay, y’all don’t want to be real with me, but this is where your faith comes to a point where it makes you stop trying. Because if you don’t think you can ask God why, then you walk away. Hear what I just said: wherever you can’t ask why, you usually walk away. That’s why many parents don’t have a good relationship with their kids in old age because they were never able to ask their parents why. God, I’m giving y’all some real advice right now. If you create a situation with your children where they can never question—yeah, not that they’re grown and big and bad, but why do I have to do it?
Right now, because this is what I’m asking you to do! If you don’t have the patience to explain to them, I know some Black parents are like, «Oh, what, you gonna ask me why? Boy, I brought you into this world; I’ll take you out!» Hold on, wait, murder is the answer? But I’m just saying that’s why, when they form their own lives, they don’t have a connection because they were never able to ask you, «Why did Dad leave?» Oh God, why did we live with that family for three weeks? You didn’t tell me what was happening. I know I got popsicles every day, but why? Oh, come on, y’all know what we try to do. But why do we live with that family? Why did our car just disappear?
Okay, let me stop. But you stop; you walk away from everything you can’t ask why to. And so many people have walked away from using their faith because they felt like asking God why was disrespectful or dishonoring. But God can handle your why; geez, that’s power right there. They take a position—watch this—of humility, and they say, «Hey, I’m insufficient to understand and put the clues together for myself, so God, I’m coming straight to you. Why couldn’t we do what we’ve seen you do a hundred times?» Yeah, and because of their question, he answers. «Oh, I love Jesus.» He didn’t offer the answer before the question, but when he got the question, the next word in verse 20 was that he answered. Some of you, the enemy has been trying to keep you from just asking the question, because as soon as you ask it, he’ll answer.
As soon as you ask him why, «What do I need to do to actually be successful?» He’ll answer. And if you get the faith to try again, to approach God again, to use your mustard seed faith again, I’m telling you there’s another answer on the way. It said he answered. Let me be honest with y’all, the reason it didn’t work for you is because of your little faith, your lack of trust and confidence in my power. You might have been trusting in the action; you might have been trusting in the words that you said. He said, «But you should have been trusting in my power to act in that situation.» He said, «For I assure you and most solemnly say to you, if you had living faith the size of a mustard seed, you would say to this mountain,» he literally looked at the biggest thing he could find around—he said the mountain would be no match for just a little living faith. You would be able to tell it to move from here to there.
And watch this, if it was God’s will—that’s the one people struggle with. You can speak to a mountain, but if you speak to it with faith and it’s not God’s will, it ain’t moving. Oh God, and this is where you have to reconcile the sovereignty of God. There are some things I want that he won’t allow. Oh God, there are some things I desire that he’s saying, «It ain’t happening no matter how much you fast, no matter how much you pray; that’s not my will for this situation.» Why can’t it happen? Because I’m not going to let it happen, and I can’t even explain to you why it’s not going to happen. Most people say, «Fine, then I’m taking my ball and I won’t play no more.» That’s what you try to do with God. «I’m taking my faith, and I won’t use it no more. Come on, I’m taking my belief, and I won’t use it no more.»
He said that was just one thing; that was just one thing you believed for. I said, «No, it needs to stay right there, 'cause you don’t know what’s going to happen six years from now and that mountain’s going to need to be there for you, but keep believing for this.» «No, I’m not trusting you anymore.» Come on, we don’t say it like that, but that’s what we do. «I’m going to put my faith in Bitcoin. I’m going to put my faith in the economy. I’m going to put my faith in this person. I’m going to put my faith in you—didn’t let that mountain move. You didn’t move me from there. I should be rich by now. I should not have these problems. I should be out of the…» And the disciples are faced with this, with Jesus talking to them.
The next thing that we try to avoid beyond embarrassment, correction, and our deficiencies being exposed is—watch this—the requirement for growth. Basically, he said, «Why can’t this happen? Why weren’t we able to do this?» Because you got to grow more. Most of us have lost the spirit of teachability. Most believers, after they’ve mastered the fundamentals in their minds, stop being teachable. I have found that this is the quickest way to cut off your growth: to think that you already know. I can’t tell you how many rooms I walk into and intentionally act like I don’t know just so I can get new information. Oh, y’all don’t hear what I’m saying; everybody has something to teach me. They can teach me by their ignorance or their intelligence. Do you hear me?
I’ll never say, «Oh man, that’s great language.» Many of us as believers come into everything knowing; that’s why I respect so much the senior saints and those who are older than me that call me their pastor. It’s because you walk in a different level of humility; you’re still teachable. You’re able to say, «I don’t care how old this young man is; if God’s speaking through him, and if it’s in line with his word, and if it checks out in my will, I can follow him.» It’s Joshua; it’s David; it’s young people that God said, «Don’t let them look down on you because you’re young.» Timothy, walk in what I’ve called you to walk into. And so many people in this room are scared to try 'cause they don’t think they’ll follow me. «I’m too young; I don’t have enough experience.» Come on. And the truth of the matter is, as you’re sitting here, you’re fighting the requirement that God’s going to put on you to grow.
Some of you, the level of faith that you have now is not enough for what you’re praying for. I’m going to say it again, 'cause that was so nasty. For some of you, the level of faith that you’re on right now is not enough for what you are praying for. He gives the disciples the key at the very end—I’m just going to skip to it. He said, «Y’all should have prayed and fasted before you tried to encounter that.» He said, «You couldn’t recognize; you weren’t able to delineate what type of spirit that was, so you tried to approach it with regular tactics when you needed to tell that man, 'Meet me right back here tomorrow.'»
They could have, they could have gotten the miracle, but they were not able to perceive what they were dealing with because they were at a level of immaturity that their faith had not grown. Jesus was able to delineate, and I promise you that’s why Jesus was always withdrawing to go pray and fast, so that whenever he met and encountered something, he said, «The reason y’all couldn’t do that is 'cause y’all were eating last night. Your appetite was for something else that was not going to be ready for what you were going to encounter today. That’s why you can’t watch everything; that’s why you can’t listen to everything, 'cause I’m going to have something that I encounter tomorrow that needs my faith and my mind to be sober enough to walk in the power and the authority that God has given me. That show is not going to equip you for the demon you face tomorrow.
Oh God, that conversation, that gossip, is not going to prepare you. I know it’s appetizing to your flesh, but watching everything that’s happening in the Diddy case is not going to give you the strength you need to face that demon tomorrow. Okay, excuse me for a second. He says, „Some of y’all need to withdraw. If you would have had the spiritual maturity, you could have gotten that demon out, but you weren’t able to recognize what you were dealing with.“ So you approach something irregularly and some of y’all are trying to put in the name of Jesus, „Change this, Lord,“ on something you need to be in the closet praying and fasting for. Okay, let me stop. So Jesus was confronting the disciples and telling them, „You’re going to have to grow.“ And this is the beautiful thing; all of us can grow in our faith. Everybody say, „I can, I can grow in my faith.“
Grow in my faith. How do you grow in your faith? You got to try. Sir, I’m going to tell you an embarrassing story. Um, it was about four and a half years ago when I decided to take my health journey seriously and to the point where I was going to invest in it. God told me a long time ago that he would only bless the ministry to the level my body could take it. And that’s not everybody’s rule, but I know the Holy Spirit gave me a conviction on my unhealth—my eating, my everything. So I was like, „All right, I’m going to start working out.“ And let me just say this out loud to let everybody know and to maybe provide a runway into your own journey: it was 32 years of my life that I had never actually worked out.
Like, I just need everybody to hear what I’m saying. At 32 years old, I had never been in a gym session. I mean, in your 20s, you could just get through on adrenaline and strength; like, it just came from nowhere. As soon as 30 hit, it was like everything I ate just stuck; it was like playing Tetris in my body. And even people who look healthy, many of them aren’t. Okay, let’s just be clear: skinny doesn’t mean healthy. So I went to the gym with my trainer, Coach Vic, and I was real with him. I was like, „Hey, bro, I ain’t never worked out before a day in my life. I trust you, but I don’t know what I’m doing, so just kind of help me through this whole process.“ He said, „I got you, big dog.“ And as he said that, it made me scared 'cause he called me „dog“ right off the bat—he was like, „Big dog.“
And he said all these aggressive words. I remember vividly going to the gym one day, and Coach picks up 15-pound weights when he first started training me. Gia was just born, and he would come to the house and only bring 10-pound weights, and I was excited because I was like, „I can pick up 10 pounds no matter what.“ I remember we were in the gym for the first time after about six months of training. He picks up 15 pounds, and I go to the 15s. He puts me on the bench and says, „All right, big dog, give me 10.“ And I was like, „Okay.“ And I’ve never held the 15s up until that point. Y’all are laughing, but up until that point, my measure was tens. I didn’t care about 15s; I didn’t want to care about 15s. I wasn’t looking forward to 15s. My faith was to be able to do 10 reps of 10 pounds in each hand.
So when he handed me the 15s, he knew I had the ability to do it, but I had never tried. So when he handed me the 15s and I went down, he had his hands on my hands and said, „Let’s do it.“ And he walked away to prepare the next exercise, and I said, „Where are you going? Where are you going?“ And he busted out laughing because he was like, „Bro, it’s only 15.“ I said, „Only 15? This is the first time I’m doing 15.“ And so he stood there with me laughing the whole time while I tried to increase my measure. 15s, we stayed at 15s for a while. Tens and 15s, I wasn’t caring about 20s because I didn’t care about growth yet. I was in my process, caring about comfort. It was one where I wanted to change, but I also wanted to be comfortable.
I wanted to get stronger, but I did not want to be embarrassed, corrected, or show my insufficiencies. So, he would try to make me go up, and I’d be like, „Coach, let’s go back to the 15s,“ until one day I discovered the process of growth. Do you know what the process of growth is? When you’re building muscle, it’s to train to failure. The point of growth is at the moment it doesn’t work, so I remember one day I said, „You know what, Coach, I want to try to go up today.“ He said, „Big dog, what do you want? What are you feeling?“ I said, „I’m doing 30s today.“ He responded, „30? You got that! Easy money,“ that’s what he would tell me, easy money.
I remember getting ready; I took off my jacket and said, „I’m going to pick up the 30s. I’m going to another rack. The 30s aren’t on the level I’ve been on; I’m going to have to try.“ And this is what he said to me that I’ll never forget: „You got to feel it, even if you can’t lift it; feel it.“ So I picked up those 30s. You know when it’s heavy, you start walking differently. I picked up those 30s, trying to figure out my position, just trying, and I got back. I was like, and I did that—10 times—like, „Yeah, big dog!“ Coach started to say, and do you know what it did? It gave me confidence. See, some of you won’t even find triumph because you won’t try. Some of y’all just need to go to the place where your faith can be tested and try to believe again.
Well, earlier this year, I told my coach, „I really want to be a big dog.“ I embraced it. He said, „So what do you want to do?“ I replied, „I want to go up. I need to start at 50s.“ He said, „You want to start at 50s?“ I said, „I’m starting at 50s.“ I added, „All right, cool, I’m going to show you, Coach.“ He didn’t believe in me because there was a point when he didn’t know if I was biting off more than I could chew. But what he didn’t know is that when he wasn’t there training me, I was going to the gym, trying out the 50s. Y’all, I was embarrassed in the dark; I was trying. Until one day, I don’t know what happened, but I got in the gym by myself, and it was dark when nobody could see. I went back, started hitting the 50s, and as I did, I said, „I can do this.“
Some of y’all need to hear what I’m saying: you need to go into your prayer closet, in the dark, and start praying for stuff that feels heavy. You need to start believing that every one of those children will serve the Lord. You need to believe that everyone in your family who has been in poverty will walk in abundance. You need to start believing that the whole earth is groaning and waiting for you to come into your new. Y’all got to hear me, but the triumph of using the 50s would have never happened if I had not tried.
Once you get to the 50s, it’s what is 60s. Once you get to 60, what is 70? The end of my rack stopped at 75, so when I saw that, I said, „You know, I’m a good steward. I’m not about to buy heavier weights if I can’t lift the last one.“ I remember this summer; I said, „Coach, I’m going to the end of the rack.“ He said, „You ready for this, big dog?“ I said, „Easy money! Some of y’all are going to get some audacity here in a minute.“ He said, „You need a spot.“ I said, „Yes, Coach, come up here; I need a spot.“
Now, watch this: some of you are too prideful to ask for a spot. You’re too prideful to ask for help. This could be too heavy for me. Believing in this by myself could be too much. I could hurt myself if I tried to do this alone. But if I have somebody that has my back—if I just had two or three friends—I don’t need a lot of y’all. If I just had one or two people who would pray, no matter what happens, who would stay, no matter what, who would hope—if I just had a few people, I feel like I could lift some weight I never thought was possible.
Remember, I was scared at 15, so the fact that I’m even holding 75—oh God! Some of y’all need to stop and praise God for the fact that you’re even holding this type of weight. You need to praise God that He gave you a family. You need to praise God that He saved you from that addiction. You need to praise God that you even have the ability to touch this type of weight. I stayed pure enough to be trusted with this; this is a miracle. But I need a spot because this might be too heavy, and Coach, what you say? Easy money! Easy money!
Yeah, all right, here we go, and we are going for five: one, two, three, four, five—easy money! Some of y’all, you’re about to start lifting stuff you’ve never lifted before. You’ll start carrying in faith what you’ve never carried before. I hope this helps you remember that you can grow in your faith. I was at 15 in my faith, and this summer I got to 75 in my faith. I grew in the measure of faith because I was willing to fail. You’re going to have to try again because there was a level that wasn’t on my rack that I had to come to.
I remember the day I just had a wild thought: „Could I ever lift over 75 lbs?“ I said yes, but then automatically told myself no. Come on, y’all got to be honest: sometimes you think, „Maybe God could use me.“ No, never mind. For me to feel the weight, I had to go purchase it. I had to invest in what I couldn’t lift. Me and Will went to the weight store, and I asked them. If you can see up here, all the heavyweights don’t look like all the other weights. All the heavyweights couldn’t fit on my rack; they had different titles. I went and bought them, and they were expensive because they charge you per pound. To whom much is given, some of y’all are praying for stuff you don’t know how much it costs. You want this position; you don’t know it costs sleepless nights. You don’t know how many times you have to turn the other cheek. You don’t know how many times you have to love people you know are talking about you. You don’t know how many times you have to actually ask God to purify your heart and ring out what’s on the inside of you. You don’t know how many times you have to make it right with your wife before you get on the platform so you can actually speak in purity. You do not know what it costs; it’s a sacrifice. There’s a requirement, and I went and paid for it before I could ever lift it.
I told Coach, „We’re going to get to the hundreds,“ and he said, „All right, this is what we’re going to do: we’re going to go 90; we’re going to go 100.“ He said, „If you could do 90, you could do 100.“ I said, „All right, Coach, if you believe, I believe.“ I remember those weights sitting there for a few days, looking at me while I was looking at them because sometimes, let’s be honest, you know you need to use your faith, and it’s just intimidating. It’s right there for me to believe in, but I got to do it. The reason I don’t want to believe, watch this, is my last point: the thing that keeps us from trying is fear of disappointment. What keeps us from trying is disappointment: what if I bought these weights and I can’t lift them? What if I try and nobody comes? What if I put the book out and nobody buys it but my mom? Come on! He said, „You can move a mountain,“ but what if it doesn’t happen?
You got to try! Today, I’m asking every believer who has tried not to be embarrassed, who didn’t want to be corrected, who didn’t want their insufficiencies exposed, who was trying to avoid disappointment—I want you to know that maybe all of those things are prerequisites for you to actually grow in your faith. Jesus would not have taken all this time to correct them if He didn’t see a future for them. The next statement is, „Y’all, I’m about to leave, and I’m going to put all of this in y’all’s hands.“ The reason I’m correcting you here is because I see you walking in it up there. If you don’t take this as a final failure, you’re going to realize I have a beautiful future for you, but the enemy makes us think embarrassment, correction, insufficiencies, and disappointment are reasons to say, „Ah, I can’t do it anymore.“ Some of us need to try again.
You need to try again. Let me say it like this: the hardest way to relate to faith is to fabricate a future in your subconscious that glorifies the idea that one day, walking by faith won’t be hard. I’m going to say it again because I need you to get this: the hardest way to relate to a life of faith is to fabricate this idea that one day, I won’t have to pray like this, I won’t have to fast like this, I won’t have to actually be accountable, I won’t have to be in any groups, I won’t have to let the Word refine my heart, that one day it won’t take all of this, and you glorify the idea that one day, walking by faith will somehow be easy. Today, church, I just needed to be honest with you: every time you start walking by faith, it’s going to be a challenge. The sooner you embrace that, the sooner you’re not scared to walk up to the weight.
I remember it like it was yesterday: about five months ago, I said, „I am about to lift 100 lbs,“ and the only thing I need to do to qualify it as a lift is get it up once. Oh, y’all are tripping! I said, „I don’t got to do 10; I don’t got to do six; I don’t got to do seven—just one, just one time!“ I remember I said, „Hold on; let me get my gloves on.“ I put my gloves on. I had to take my ring off to put my gloves on. I said, „Coach, I’m about to lift it. I’m going to a new level today. I’m not going to let those hundreds intimidate me anymore. I’m not going to pass them in my garage every day, knowing that I have never, watch this, lifted them; I never tried to—I never tried to. If I fail, I started at 15.“
Okay, I need you to hear me say this: the triumph is if I fail, I remember starting at 15. So even today, I had trepidation about coming out here and trying hundreds because I thought, „What if my strength leaves me in this moment to embarrass me in front of the whole world?“ No, I’m serious! Y’all get the analogy: lift the hundreds, but I can’t go out like that! I got to try again. Oh y’all, somebody say try! All right, oh, that’s heavy! I’m going to put one here. Coach, could you bring me the other one? Okay, easy money! All right. Oh, you know I got to lift it at least once with my church behind me. All right, let’s go, Mike! Easy money! Let’s go! I got it, Coach: one, two, three, four, come on, five—count it for me—six! Come on, come on, come on! One more! Let’s go!
I started at 15—uh-oh! But hear what I’m saying: what was in me the whole time would have never been realized if I hadn’t tried. I prophesy over you that in this next season, you’re going to lift what was impossible. Hear me because you are going to have the audacity to try again. The only tragedy for the disciples would have been all the lessons they missed if they hadn’t tried. If they hadn’t tried to cast out that demon out of that boy, they would have missed all of this correction, which is love, all of this insecurity building, which is confidence. All of the things that were found in failure and not in success. I don’t know how you’ve defined some seasons of your life, but today, it’s time to redefine. Every spot that was a failure in your life, I dare you to go back and revisit that thing and extract the wisdom that the Holy Spirit wants to give to you because failure is an invitation to a new level of faith. Let’s reframe it: every one of our failures is an invitation from God to a new level of faith. Number of people, but I feel the presence of God. I need all my pastors and altar workers; I need all of you to come to the front right now. If you’re not designated and you don’t know, do not come. Glory to God!
I feel like today there are people whose faith has been paralyzed in this place, and you haven’t wanted to try anymore because your faith has been fatigued. If that’s you in this room, the Bible says clearly, „I will allow my believers to lay hands on the sick, and they shall recover.“ I’m going to read it out of Mark 16. It says, „And these signs will follow those who believe. In my name, they will cast out demons; they will speak with new tongues; they will take up serpents, and if they drink anything deadly, it will by no means hurt them. They will lay hands on the sick, and they will, not might, they will recover.“ And today you may have a physical sickness, but some of you may just be sick of living the life you’re living. I’m sick of this depression. I’m sick of this insatiable desire to have my sexual needs met in an illegitimate way. I’m sick of having to always go to that bottle or to that person to try to find peace. If there’s anything in you that’s been sick, today we’re about to lay hands on you, and I’m believing there’s about to be a supernatural transaction, not in my touch, but in the obedience of the word of God that says we can believe, and people shall recover.
For everybody watching online, here in a moment I’m going to get in the back with you, and I’m going to pray over you. If you’re sick, if there’s anything going on in your life, I want you to stay on this online by faith, and I believe God is going to do something. But I’m going to ask you to do something bold. I want to ask you to do something that might seem embarrassing. If you have had faith fatigue, and you know the enemy’s been trying to trick you to stop you from trying, and you want your faith to go to another level, I want you to get down here to this altar right now. I don’t care who you are; I don’t care where you’re from; I don’t care what’s going on right now. I need you to come. I’m going to ask the worship team to come back up, and what we’re going to do for the next 10 to 15 minutes is begin to pray. We’re going to lay hands on every person that is coming to this altar, and if you want to stay engaged from your seat, I’m telling you the Holy Spirit will begin to work on you.
Altar workers, we’re not going through all the things; come on, bring the people all over here. I don’t care; it’s going to take time; it’s squished up there. What would you do for your miracle? I’m telling you there’s something coming to you. Come on up, just get up here, and you all are going to start touching and agreeing. You don’t need long prayers; all we’re doing is touching and agreeing with you right now, and right now we’re going to ask God to reign and take over and do something. If you’re watching online, I need you to lift your hands. Come on, in this room, in this building, ask God right now, „Father, whatever you want to show me; whatever you want to do in me.“ Come on, He’s doing it. I will not succumb to the lie that I can’t try again. My faith will be active. My faith will be used. Workers, you all begin to go to them. Go to them; don’t just stay in one place. I want you to begin to pray, and if you need help, there are people lining up and down the aisles. But I want you to begin to pray. Pastor Ro, I need you to just lead us in a moment of worship, and let’s worship God right now all over this building.
„Your way, O Lord, have Your way in my life. Jesus, take over; do whatever You want to do. Whatever You want to do, have Your way.“ You can have Your way, yeah, do whatever You want to do. Whatever You want to do, have Your way. You can have Your way, Jesus. Have Your way in my life. Your way. Right now, You can take over. Have Your way in my life. Your way. Your way. You can take over, yeah. Oh, Your way. Your way. I need You to take over, Jehovah; You can have Your way. Your way, reign over and take over. You can have Your way. He keeps His word. He keeps His word, yeah. I know He keeps His word. He keeps His word; He is Your way. Your way, reign over; take over. Hallelujah! We’re so grateful for what God is doing in this place today.
I felt the tug of the Lord to come up and just share something. If you know anything about our story, you know that last year we lost our son at two weeks. We were believing in faith for God to heal him, and we had prayer warriors around the world praying with us for our son and for the healing, and we didn’t see the healing happen the way we wanted it to happen. But what I know is I’m a living testimony that even when it seems like your faith has failed, God can repair your faith and give you the chance to try again. So in this place right now and watching online, I just want to encourage somebody, because I know all too well what it is like to expect God to do something a certain way and then not see it happen that way. I want you to know to keep trying, because God knows how to repair your faith. He knows how to put your faith back together and to believe in Him again.
In our situation, it didn’t turn out the way we wanted it to, but we have not stopped believing God in faith. We have not stopped believing that He is a healer, that He can continue to expand our family. We are not afraid to believe in God again. So what I wanted to do is just pray for God to repair faith in this place.
Lord God, we thank You right now. Every person that has fatigued faith, I thank You, Jesus, that You are a repairer of faith, that You know how to give us faith where maybe we felt weak. Lord God, in this place, I thank You for every person that has been honest enough to say, „God, I don’t know if I can trust You again.“ And God, I thank You right now for renewed strength, for renewed faith in the name of Jesus. I thank You, Lord Jesus, that there are people who have seen You do things, and they will believe that You can do it again in the name of Jesus. God, every person that is feeling weak in their faith, I thank You for strength in their faith again. I thank You, Lord God, that our faith is not built on intended ends or what we want to see, but God, our faith is built on who You are. We believe You’re a provider. We believe that You are a healer. We believe that You are a redeemer and the lover of our souls. We believe, Lord God, that You are Jehovah Jireh, our provider; that You are Jehovah Rapha, our healer; we believe that You are Jehovah Shalom, our peace. Lord God, we will believe again. We will believe You again, Lord Jesus. For every person that has felt like their faith has failed, we speak healing in the name of Jesus, and we thank You for repairing our hearts and not just repairing our hearts, but repairing our hope, that we will hope again; we will believe again, and we will see You continue to perform miracles in our life in the name of Jesus. And we give You all the glory, all the honor, and all of the praise. Hallelujah!
If you’re watching this right now, I hope you feel the spirit that is in the room right now because there’s no difference. If you have had faith fatigue, if you know that you need to try again, if you know you need to go up and put your faith on a new weight today, I want to pray specifically for you. I believe that God is doing something significant in your heart right now; that God is bringing courage and encouragement to you. I believe that this message was a pivotal point in your faith journey. Because from here on, something is about to shift. If you want to receive what God is doing in this moment, why don’t you just lift your hands, wherever you are, at your desk, at home, on the treadmill? I believe God is going to do something significant in your life.
Father, in the name of Jesus, I pray for my brother and sister right now. I thank You that Your spirit is with them and more than that, it is in them. Father God, the same spirit that raised Jesus Christ from the dead is living and active on the inside of them. So, Father, the places where we have been weak in our faith, Your word says that Your strength is made perfect in our weakness. We are exposing our need for You right now. I thank You, Father God, that You are bringing us into a new revelation of the faith we need is in the failure that we have experienced. Father, wherever there has been a failure, wherever we believed, wherever we did not see what we wanted to see, I thank You that that is becoming the platform for You to do a brand-new miracle. Father, I pray for my brother and sister that they will not be delayed any longer to obey You, to try again, to go to the spot of that last mistake, that last failure, and ask for a resurrection or new life. God, You are the one that brings beauty out of ashes, and so today I thank You, Father God, that this message is not just information, but an impartation, a new way of living. Father, and You’re going to take our try and turn it into triumph. Thank You, Father, for the steps, the action, the faith that we’re going to use today. We thank You that this word will never leave us because we’re about to put it into play. Have Your way in our life in Jesus' name! We agree, somebody say, „Amen.“
I love you and I believe in you, and if you have never accepted Jesus, that is the first step to walking in this new level. Try Jesus; He’s the one who will never fail you. He’s the one who already went out on a limb just for you. If that’s you, I just feel a special unction to ask you to receive Jesus right now. You can feel the spirit through this YouTube link on your phone. I’m telling you it is so heavy in this place. These people are still getting prayed for, and that’s why I’m here praying for you right now. If today you want to accept Jesus as your personal Lord and Savior, I want you to pray this prayer with me right now, wherever you are, because today is the day of salvation. Say:
Jesus, thank You for coming to this earth and dying just for me. Today I give You my life. Change me, renew me, and transform me. I’m Yours forevermore. I repent from the old way, and I have faith in the new way. You’re my King. In Jesus' name, amen.