Michael Todd - Dating Distractions
Well, today I have an assignment, and I’m going to get us out of here in time for you to put those little wings on the barbecue grill. But I really do believe that the most powerful thing that happens today won’t be the game. I want you to enjoy it; I want you to have fun with your people. However, I believe when God speaks, and we hear Him, it has the opportunity to transform our entire lives. So today, for everybody who prioritized church, God, and your relationship and gathering community—even when things in culture are pulling you away—I’m telling you that what you’re doing is important. The word of the year for Transformation Church is «Focus.» I’m not saying other things can’t be around; I’m just asking, what are you focusing on?
One of the signs of spiritual maturity is the ability to focus while distractions are present. Can I help you understand that God is not removing distractions? He’s empowering you to stay focused on what He’s calling you to do. So many of us believe God should perform a magic trick—Abracadabra! —and take distractions away. Maybe if I move or get a new job, but God is saying, «This is not my formula.» I never change the whole scenario for you to focus. He’s asking you right now to put your eyes on Him and to stay focused. Look at Peter; he was literally able to do what no other human being recorded can do, which is walk on water, when he was focused. What might you be forfeiting right now because you continue to look around? You could walk on what others drown in if you would stay focused.
My goodness, while everyone else is drowning in debt, frustration, and confusion, God says, «Keep your eyes on Me! Keep reading the Word. Keep praying. Keep listening.» I know you’re thinking, «But Shante, they’re going out this week, and I have to go to the Super Bowl party, and I have to look good because it’s my birthday, and tax season is coming up.» Yet, distractions abound. The reason I’m methodically going through this series is that I know some of you have wanted me to move on since week one, but I won’t. I’ll stay right here until you start evaluating this sermon and putting it into play in your life. The last three weeks, you thought it was for somebody else, but God is coming to say, «You’re not focused yet.»
We all have areas we need to address. What I used to do when I was doing well in one area was only focus on that one area. Okay, you want to be so God, but I cleaned up my eating and my health, and I think, «Lord, look at me! What’s up?» He said, «I’m not negating the work you’ve done; I’m just saying there’s more work to do.» This is the process of sanctification—becoming like Him daily. The church doesn’t talk about it because we stop at salvation. I’m saved; I know my eternity is secure. Some of you don’t have to go to hell because you’re living in it. You’re worried about heaven and hell; just look at your life. You’re living in misery and frustration, paycheck to paycheck, always worried. All the things God said we don’t have to do, you’re doing every day of your life.
God said, «I came that you might have life and have it to the full; that’s not what I paid for.» It’s not until we understand why our distractions take us on detours and delays that we can actually focus. I’m telling you, every week of this series, we probably have four or five more weeks, because I’m loaded to help you live a life that is—somebody shout at me—"Focus!» So I’m going to take you to Hebrews 12:1, which is our scripture of the year, and I’m going to read it until that thing becomes ingrained in your heart. I want you to hide this word in your heart. It says, «Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses…»
That means, y’all, every week I try to read through, but it starts speaking to me differently every week. So I’ll stop and give you what the Holy Spirit just said: other people have made it. Since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, we live this life of faith. We’ve gone through the temptations. There is proof that somebody can make this their lifestyle. God is putting this in the Bible so you know you’re not the only one who has faced these things. So, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off—one translation says—every weight, everything that hinders us, and the sin that so easily entangles us. I want you to hear me say this.
Has anybody ever gotten a spider web on them? That is one of the most frustrating things to touch or get on you because, first off, you probably didn’t see it. You’re about to reach for something, and then you reach through this invisible thing, and the first thing you look for is, «Is there a spider?» Because some of y’all start tripping, thinking you see something. But if you’ve ever been entangled in a spider web, it’s sticky; it wraps itself around whatever it touches. That’s what sin does. It never tries to overtake you—it just slowly entangles you. God says, «I don’t want you to be entangled by anything.» He says, «Let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us.» Somebody say, «I have a race!»
Watch this: here’s our anchor scripture, «fixing our eyes,» shout at me, «Focus! Focus on Jesus.» If I looked at your calendar right now, would your calendar substantiate that you focus on Jesus? If I looked—not that this is me; I’m just asking—if I looked at your wallet, what would it tell me? What you spend money on, would it tell me that you focus on Jesus? If we took a catalog of all the words you spoke this week, would your words give us data back that you focus on Jesus? If we were to take all of your text messages—whether on your phone, online, or anything you typed—would there be proof to substantiate that you focus on Jesus? If we were to open your mind—because some of you said, «I didn’t say nothing; I didn’t do anything"—but what did you think?
Come on, some of you were in a whole other land. If we were to put your thoughts on the screen, would there be anything to show that you focus? I don’t care if you work for a church; that doesn’t mean you’re focused on Jesus. I don’t care if you lead the prayer ministry; that doesn’t mean you’re focused on Him. You prayed to Him, but you didn’t focus on Him! Do you hear what I’m saying? I’m trying to make sure that our lives are focused on Jesus. Why? Because if not, we are distracted. Can I be that clear? If you’re not focused on Jesus, you’re distracted by something. What is it? Will somebody be real with me in this place and yell out your distraction? Ooh, that one got scary right there.
Hold on; I heard a safe one. What did somebody say? An iPhone! How many people find your phone is a distraction to you? Okay, that’s good. Somebody go a little deeper for me. Thank you! She said men—how many? Okay, y’all all right. How many people are dealing with relationships—wanting relationship or being in one—and how many of you have had distracting relationships? Come on, let’s be honest. I was hoping somebody would say that! I need to tell somebody in here that we have a hot church here! Humble, open, and trusting—lust is a distraction. Lust is not just sexual; I don’t just mean drooling over a person. It’s how you acted for that donut; you shook a little something. You did something strange for a piece of change! That’s lust.
The only reason I’m trying to normalize us talking about this is that you can never deal with something you won’t reveal. I think so many times we think we can shout it away, pray it away, or come to the altar and be in the vicinity of change and not actually transform. I just want us to be real. This is what you need to know about a distraction: a distraction is something intended to take your focus only for a moment. A distraction is not meant to take you and turn you around; it just needs your attention for a moment. Has anybody ever seen something they weren’t supposed to look at but looked at it twice?
Oh God, I’m up here with the holiest of holies today! But if there are some real people, how many have seen something and your natural reaction was to be like, «Did I see what I just saw?» Then you go back and look again! There are people who will drive back around if they see some drama about to happen. Y’all know what I’m talking about! And then you just turn around because of distraction! It doesn’t need your attention forever; it only needs it for a moment. So, with that definition of a distraction, how many of us are living in a world full of things fighting for your focus? Maybe if I don’t say «distraction,» you’ll feel a little better about it. How many of you are dealing with stuff fighting for your focus?
All right, let me tell you something: you have an adversary, and the enemy wants your attention. How do you know that, Pastor Mike? Because it was his plan from the Garden. The first humans that had a word from God; all the enemy wanted was their attention for a second so that they could doubt what God had said to them. The whole story in the Garden would have been over if the snake had approached Adam or Eve, and they had said, «God, you know I don’t do snakes.» But instead, it was like, «Is that a snake? What are you doing, Mr. Snake?» Then the native tongue of the enemy spoke: «Did God really say…?» I wasn’t even thinking those thoughts before; I didn’t even doubt. But because the enemy took my attention for a moment, I did.
So today, I feel compelled, in the season that we are in, to challenge you to stop praying immature prayers. «God, take it away» is an immature prayer. Hear what I’m saying: «God, take this away.» Sometimes He will, but most of us use that as an escape hatch for what God is using to make us into something we couldn’t be without it. An immature prayer is simply, «Take this away.» I get it, and I love the Bible, because even Jesus prayed this. Y’all remember in Gethsemane, He was about to be crucified and said, «Yo, if there is any other way, let this cup be taken from me.» But what was His response after He expressed that? He said, «Nevertheless, not my will, but let this make me, and You’re going to give me the strength to go through it.» Somebody needs to hear that right now: you’re not about to be taken out; God is going to give you the strength to go through it.
I feel that right now. Some of y’all are about to give up, and some of you are about to throw in the towel. God came to let you know today that He will give you the strength to go through it. I feel that strongly.
So that’s why 1 Corinthians 10:13 says this: «No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man.» So any temptation you’re going through is not special, y’all; there is a solution for it. Today, I felt very impressed to make a public service announcement, and this is going to seem a little out of left field for some of y’all, but I feel like this is my assignment today. Write this point down: it applies to everybody, but you’ll see here in a minute how it does. Write this: «Dating is not demonic.»
Some of y’all are not writing it down; write it down. Here we go: dating is not demonic. It’s for dating. Tonight, I have to walk down a path that most churches veer away from because a lot of our distractions come in the area of relationships. I don’t care if you’re married; I’m going to talk to you. I don’t care if you’re single; I’m going to talk to you. If you’re young, I’m going to talk to you, and you’re going to learn a playbook on how to do this thing right.
Pastor Mike, where’s dating in the Bible? The word was «courting» in the Bible; the concept is still the same. Dating is not demonic, and I have to say it just like that because we have more single people in churches that are confused. Y’all are confused, and we have a bunch of married people who don’t want to be married, and we have a lot of confusion going on in the church. The Holy Spirit will lead us and guide us into all truth, yet we are confused. People can’t find a mate. Where are all the good guys? Where are all the good women? Why is my husband looking at them?
I believe we’ve done a disservice as a church theologically by being extreme on one end or the other. So today, I’m going to clear up some things, and I’m going to tie it to Samson’s story because I saw a pattern in his story that’s going to help all of us with this. But dating is—say it with me, y’all—so scared. Dating is not demonic. Some of y’all need to hear that message.
Dating is not demonic, and the reason I have to say this is that it becomes a big distraction for people: your loneliness, your singleness, your togetherness, your wanting—all of these things—because the pattern was likely not put into perspective right. Today, with Valentine’s Day being on Friday, your pastor felt it was very intentional to bring this word to you.
Some of y’all are like, «I need the word; wait for me.» I’ve got something for you here. Your pastor is giving you permission, if you are not married, to date. I don’t know how plainly I can say that. If you are married—listen, that was for the single people—if you are married, your pastor is giving you permission to date. Some of y’all married folks have the crustiest relationships—no passion, just bills, no communication, just kids. The love has leaked out. You won’t wear anything nice for each other; you wear sweats every day.
Hold on—be quiet; don’t get in trouble. Write it in your notepad, brother. All I’m saying is, if you’re single, go on a date. If you’re married, go on a date. If you’re under 18 and you live in your parents' house, I don’t have control over whatever they set for you. But parents, let’s have a conversation. You might want to start having dialogue about dating because if you are not in the mix, they are making up the cake without you.
So many Christian parents are not aware of what their children are doing. Until you’re 18, you aren’t going to date; they’re already talking to people at school. They’ve already shared some inappropriate things.
What I’m saying is we need to discuss this stuff. My daughter’s seven, sitting in the front row, and we talk about it. Because if you don’t, they are baking the cake already. If you’re not in the mix, they’re baking a cake— I like that. Let me help you.
Dating is an event, not your eternity. It is an entry, not the end. If we define dating properly, if we define making a connection with somebody properly, if we view it from God’s perspective, then we realize that it’s not the end of anything; it’s just the entry into it. I’m talking to multiple different types of people because some of you might think I’m just talking to the young, single people. Nope! There are people who have been in relationships, been married, faced tragedy, lost a loved one or spouse, or had a divorce. They’re now in a season of wandering. There are many people I know who, because of tragedy or failure, are trying to figure out how to do this again.
You might feel like you are trying to date again when you haven’t done it in decades. Now you are on these apps, trying to pick and have relationships from people your daughter’s age. No, I’m trying to help you understand what’s happening. And I’m not saying that age is nothing but a number; I know that, but where is he? All I’m saying is we have to make wise decisions. Somebody say, «Wise, wise, wisdom.» I’m not trying to be funny, but I really want you to use wisdom. When I look at Samson’s story, he lacks wisdom everywhere. God made a way of escape for him numerous times, and it’s like this dude doesn’t have any. It’s like the friend who keeps running into the same issues.
Today, I want everybody to recognize that when it comes to dating, everyone is dating something. Oh, the whole front part was a setup because all of y’all are dating something. All of us are communicating with something. All of us are catering to something. All of us are setting a table for two for something. Many of you, as we come to this Valentine’s Day season, will look for a table not just for yourself, but you will be engaged in dating distractions.
You are just waiting, waiting for your distraction to show up. I’ve prepared a time for us. I’ve prepared a place for us. I’ve brought some of their favorite things here. I have a warm, cozy feeling because I know what happens when I get comfortable with my distraction. Who sits in that seat for you? What sits in that seat for you? For some of you, your distraction is your insecurity. God’s telling you, «You can do it,» but you’re sitting at the table feeding your insecurity. Insecurity says, «No, no, no; I can’t do that.» Right here, right here—no insecurity right now. Oh, you want the candles lit? We need another lighter—no candles for right now, but the light in your eyes is enough!
See, y’all don’t know how to do it. Who’s sitting at the table with you? Who is the distraction? Is it something someone spoke over you by a loved one? Every time you feel like, «God, I’m going to do what You want,» you remember, «Nobody’s ever done that in our family,» or «I didn’t do well in school,» and so maybe I can’t do what God’s calling me to do.
All of us are dating some distraction. Can you identify it? Can you be honest with me—at your age and in your stage—what it is? Some of us are dating the opinion of man. My distraction is: if I do it, will they like it? I feed this daily. That’s why places like Instagram are a cesspool for my vice because I won’t even do what God wants me to do unless I get a hundred likes, a thousand likes, or ten thousand likes.
What did I do wrong? Nothing; you’re just feeding something that has no ability to take you to your destiny. Pastor Mike, how do you know? We see it in Samson’s life. If you go to Samson’s story, I want us to start at Judges chapter 16, verse 4. It says, «Sometime later…» Oh, I didn’t tell y’all the subtitle of my message: it’s «Dating Distractions: The Ignorance of Dating in Delusion.»
Y’all know what «delusion» is, right? «Delusion» is a new term the young kids use so that they don’t sound dumb. And many of us will never see what God wants us to have because we are living in delusion. You think that feeding this distraction, catering to this distraction, and becoming okay with distraction is somehow going to take you to the place you want to go. Come on, and you’re delusional right now.
For many years, what I pulled up to the table with, and what was my distraction, was other people’s success. If they do well, I have to do better. If they go on vacation, I have to go on two vacations. Oh, y’all are going to play me like I’m the only one! They have three kids; I’m going to have four kids. I’m just saying, you can act like it’s not a real thing. They put out an album; I need to put out an album. They’re working on a book; I’m working on a book. They got an earring; I need an earring.
No, it be like that. And I’m catering; «You need anything? You want something to drink?» Hold on. Hold on, distraction. I know I’m thirsty, but you’re thirsty too. «Yeah, man, it’s been like 16 hours since we’ve been here.» «Yeah, I know! I had to go to work and then church. I led the small group too.» But, «No, I know! They didn’t know that half the time they were talking, I was judging them. I was just making sure none of them were doing better than us.»
«You look good! You look good! You look good! No, I could never tell anybody about us because what we have is special. You’ve helped me in so many different seasons; I wouldn’t even be here if it wasn’t for you.» «Yeah, no, I mean enjoy your food. Eat, eat, eat! I got something special for us later.» And how many of us think I’m crazy up here talking to nobody? Yet on your car ride home, at the gym tomorrow, or as soon as you get on Instagram, many of us are actually feeding our distractions. I’m going to read this scripture to you because Samson gave me a playbook that will help you avoid falling into this, and I want you to avoid falling into this as well.
Sometime later, Samson fell in love with a woman named Delilah who lived in the Valley of Sorek. The rulers of the Philistines went to her and said, «Entice Samson because we know he fell in love with you to tell you what makes him so strong and how he can be overpowered and tied up securely. Then each of us will give you 1,100 pieces of silver.» So Delilah, with her scheming ways, said to Samson, «Please tell me what makes you so strong and what it would take to tie you up securely.»
So, Samson replied up with seven new bowstrings that have not yet dried. Baby, I would come as weak as any of these other fools around here. So the Philistine rulers brought Delilah seven new bowstrings, and she, Delilah, tied Samson up with them the first time. She had hidden some other men in one of the inner rooms of the house, and she cried out, «Sam, the Philistines have come to capture you!» But Samson got up and snapped the bowstrings as a piece of string snaps when it is burned by fire, so the secret of his strength was not discovered. Now at this moment right here, the story of Samson and Delilah should have ended. I mean, okay, how would you know? I mean, I didn’t know this was a distraction. Has anybody ever had something that started off pure and was not bad but then turned bad? Come on, y’all, like every distraction doesn’t start out as, «I’m a big distraction,» but after you make a decision, after I just told you this is how I lose my strength—tie me up, try to take my power—hey, it’s not you; it’s no, it is you. I got to go.
Do you understand what I’m saying? But Samson was dating Delilah. No, he wasn’t really dating Delilah; he was dating his delusion. He thought somehow he could continue to be around something with the ability to kill him and still have enough power and strength to make it out again. I need somebody to hear me; take it out of the analogy. You think you got enough power to keep staying around that thing, to keep staying around those people, to still be around that knowing you’ve been tied up by it before. It should have ended when God allowed the distraction to be exposed. There are so many times that we ignore when God exposes the distraction, and for some reason, Samson decided to still date Delilah.
This is why I want to tell you and teach you; write this down: the dating dynamic. This is wisdom’s way of dating. Okay, let’s give you practical tools on how to do this. The first thing about a date is that a date is for connection. Everybody say connection. Connection is just for discovery. Let me find out what you like, for example. I don’t know; what do you like? Where did you grow up? I grew up in Tulsa. Where did you grow up? I grew up in New York. It’s fine; it’s okay. So many people think that if you date somebody, you now have to marry them.
Look at me: a date is an event. But this is the problem that I’ve found with Facebook, Instagram, and all these other things. We put so much onus on when we actually go on a date that it feels monumental. It seems like something that should be more. Maybe some of y’all shouldn’t even post who you went on a date with. Post you in the corner; see you, but don’t put them in the picture. Because so many times we try to make public what is still just okay. So many times, we try to make public what is just the precursor. I’m trying to figure it out; I’m just trying to see.
So the first rule of dating with wisdom: single people, you’re going to use this; husbands and wives, you’re going to see where maybe you missed it. The first part is connection, and this is for discovery. The second part is communication. The reason you communicate is for discernment. I can tell by how you answer my question some of the things that you think, see, and feel.
So how do you feel about going to church? «Church is cool; I’m not religious, but I am spiritual. Me and God have our own connection; you know what I’m saying? He talks, I talk, and I mean I throw it up, and then he speaks to me like I got this little dream catcher thing that kind of does this little thing.» You don’t even have to proselytize them; you don’t have to rebuke them. You can say, «Girl, come get me,» but y’all got what I’m saying. «No, like how many kids do you want? I want ten kids.» «Well, I’m not the one for you.» Some of y’all, I’m just saying it’s connection, then it’s communication. But so many times we go from connection to cuddling, and when you go from connection to cuddling, your flesh takes over, and your discernment is off. Yeah, your ability to even see.
So the wisdom way of dating is so good. Y’all, I wish somebody would have sat me down at 16 and told me this because I had no playbook. That’s why I wrote Relationship Goals, and that’s why I’m even working on some new stuff because our generation—you’re not supposed to be alone, unless God wants you to be or you want to be. For real, there are people that God calls to walk in a certain way; there are apostles and different people. I’m just glad he didn’t call me to do that. Some of us are thinking that’s our lot in life just because you’ve been hurt or it’s been done incorrectly. Today, I feel like what the church does not discuss gets defined by the world.
Okay, so the dating dynamic, the ways of wisdom: connection— that’s for discovery. Communication— that’s for discernment. Watch this: consulting. After I connect with them, I should be consulting with those around me. I should be consulting the Holy Spirit. «Holy Spirit, what do you think? I think he’s fine. I think our kids would be beautiful and that we can actually make this happen. But Holy Spirit, what do you see that I don’t see? What do you know that I don’t know? Father, where are the things that we couldn’t work through? Because you see their heart.» And then John, you saw old boy. «What do you think about him?» «He’s prideful.» «Prideful? He’s not prideful; he’s proud!» Y’all know how we do it. «He’s just proud.»
«Sis, what do you think? I mean, girl, if you don’t want him, I’ll take him.» Y’all know it’s real. «Girl, if you don’t want him, I’ll take him. Mom, Dad, what do y’all think? He seems good at face value, but you need to just keep dating, connect, communicate, and then consult.» The reason I’m saying consult is that when your heart starts to come out of its shell, you don’t hear everything that you feel. Y’all didn’t hear what I just said. You start feeling things that you didn’t even hear them say. They’ll tell you, like, «I’m not into a long-distance thing,» and you’ll be like, «He just ain’t never met me!» Hold on, y’all—come on! Y’all live 3,000 miles apart! I tried long distance one time; it didn’t work.
We lasted three weeks, and you’re like, «We’re going to be so good together,» but your heart starts feeling things that they didn’t even say. They straight-up told you they don’t want to be married. Consulting is for dialogue; somebody else should be speaking back to you about what you’re getting into. The Holy Spirit should be speaking back to you. My family, my community should be speaking back to me. My closest people should be there. There is no thing that I do without consulting. I’m always asking somebody, «What do y’all think? How do y’all feel about that?» Not because they needed control but because the Bible says there is wisdom in the multitude of counsel. You might see something I don’t see.
So connection is for discovery; communication is for discernment; consulting is dialogue, and then you get comfortable. Comfortable means you disarm, and that means you may share a vulnerable secret or a place about how you got there. The reason I have problems in relationships is that I saw my parents get divorced at a young age, and that really makes me leery about connection. See, when you’re with the right person after you’ve discerned and discovered and those things bring you closer together, it’s like, «Man, when you said that, that makes me think about my father. He was there, but he was emotionally unavailable, and so it’s hard for me to express my feelings.»
Some people disarm immediately on the first date—on the first date they’re already disarming! Wait, hold on, wait! You have skipped too many steps! You started discussing, then you dished it. Culture tells you it’s normal. Oh come on, let’s be honest; I don’t care what culture says. You have not figured out how to do relationships God’s way, and I’m telling you this because we’re looking to people.
There’s no reason we should look at culture and say this is how you do relationships. There’s no proof. The sad part is there’s not much proof when you look at Christians; that’s why I got to talk about it. Because somebody has got to be a standard-bearer for what it looks like to do relationships God’s way. If you believe it, can you make some noise in the building? I got so much, okay? Is this okay, y’all? Is this okay? So connection is for discovery. Communication is for discernment. Consulting is for dialogue. Being comfortable is when you disarm, and then you get a commitment—that’s when you decide.
The reason I’m saying this is that sometimes you have to show people, «Okay, I’m letting you into a vulnerable place in me. How can you handle me?» Some people can’t handle certain stuff. So when you disarm, then you can figure things out, and then you can be like, «All right, I can make a commitment to them. I can be exclusive with them. I can actually see myself going somewhere in this.» And that’s after commitment—when you decide it’s covenant—which leads you to destiny. That is dating with wisdom.
And a bonus point: that’s when you disrobe. Okay, that’s okay; Judges 16:10 says, «Afterwards, Delilah said to him"—this is after the first time she exposed herself, and he keeps dating her. She says, «You’ve been making fun of me, Samson, telling me all these lies. Now please, big strong man, tell me how you can be tied up securely.» Samson replied, «If I were tied up with…» Why are you still talking to what has proven it wants to take your life? Why are you still entertaining? Why are you still at the table with what you nearly escaped last time? And you’re sitting back at the table with it again? Why is Samson replying to your distraction? Now we’d be like, «Yeah, that’s so stupid; that’s dumb,» or «Samson, okay, but how many times have we, after we know we only escape by the hand of God, we know it was God’s grace, we know that He was trying to do something in us, come back and sit at that same table?» Oh God, I got so much to preach. I might have to do part two of this.
It says after Delilah said to him, «You’ve been making fun of me, Samson. If I were tied up…» verse 12 says, «So Delilah took new ropes and tied him up.» The men were still—where are these men coming from? I want you to know distraction always has friends. Your distractions always have a group of people ready to entangle you. Have you ever done one thing and found yourself in other things? Like one lie turned into stealing; I was just lying, and now I’m stealing, and then, now how did all of this lead to me being a fugitive? The men were hiding in the inner room as before, and again Delilah cried out, «The Philistines have come to capture you!» Now this bothers me every time I read it because they’re supposed to be together, right? But her cry is, «Samson, the Philistines are coming to capture you!»
Now why in the world, if we were actually together and had an actual connection, would the Philistines have come to capture him? Because your distraction is never loyal. I need you to hear me say this: your distractions—they are not loyal. You will feed and cater to and set up for pornography. You will feed and cater and set up for financial growth. You feed and cater and set up for making your way in ministry. Oh, because you know that can be a distraction—trying to grow in ministry while God told you to pastor these few people. I don’t care what’s sitting over there. Your distraction ain’t my distraction, but if you’re catering to it, God’s saying it’s time to put death to it. Your distraction is not loyal. Every time he was about to get captured, she would always say, «They are coming to capture you!» But again, Samson snapped the ropes from his arms as if they were thread.
This leads me to the contrast of dating in wisdom’s way and then dating in Delilah’s way, which is Samson’s way. Let me tell you his progression: he meets Delilah—connection, that’s discovery. He likes what he sees. They start communicating—that’s discernment. But he leaves out the consulting. He has nobody around him that he allows to speak into this. His dad tried at the very beginning—y’all know this. He’s already had two wives by this time. You got to read the story; Samson already had two wives—a prostitute and a concubine. He done done it all, but now he meets Delilah and doesn’t use any wisdom from before. God has allowed him to escape; this is not the first time. I showed y’all already in week one; this is not the first time he’s faced this, faced with these exact same things, this will be the last time, and the reason is that he is working on a delusional level of pride. It’s the reason why we keep sitting at the table with things that we know can lead us to destruction.
So when there’s nobody around to consult with, that’s why the Bible says to acknowledge God in all your ways, and He’ll direct your paths. Consult with Him! Samson is not consulting with anybody, and this is what happened: he gets a connection, then there’s communication, and he goes straight from communication to getting comfortable, and he disarms. Once he disarms, this is where most of us fall into pride; he gets cocky. He’s delusional: «I can handle this, I’m good; it’s not even that big of a deal.» How many times do we get trapped by «it’s not that big of a deal»? How many times do we think, «It’s just a hug»? How many times do we get trapped by «It’s not that much money»? Do you know how people get into debt by thinking it’s not that much money? A whole bunch of times! It’s not that much money until you have to sell your kids.
Do y’all hear what I’m saying? Being cocky and prideful will put you in a place of delusion where you won’t even ask for help. This is where I see the body of Christ at a crossroads right now, because everyone wants to present perfectly to the point where they won’t even ask when they’re in desperate need of help. This is the place you come for help; this is where you ask. This is where God says, «I’ll meet you there.» But if you’re in delusion, and you say, «No, I’m good,» while you know your marriage has been on life support for five years, but you won’t go to any counseling, you won’t seek prayer with her, you won’t even come to church with her — you’re watching at home right now while she is in the building. Why? Why in the world wouldn’t you get in a place and surround yourself with other men or women of God? Why wouldn’t you do that? It’s called pride.
The Bible says something very specific about pride: it always precedes a fall. He’s doing it to Samson right here, and some of us, if you have an area of pride that you are not submitting to the Holy Spirit or others, I’m telling you, you’re about to have an ouchie. A fall is coming. A fall is coming for those who do not heed the words I’m saying to you. This is God’s grace and kindness for Him to actually give you warning right now. As I’m sitting here and you’re listening to this, and you’re trying to ignore it, something in your spirit is rumbling because you know you have been giving too much time and attention to a distraction that God is saying it’s time to put to death.
If you do not walk in humility and do what God is asking you to do, pride is going to lead you right into the fall. I know this is strong; I know it’s strong. But I just don’t want you to be ignorant in the dark about what God is saying. This is so simple if you would listen. He gets cocky and walks in delusion, he starts to cuddle, and becomes desensitized with Delilah, and then he is in the worst place any believer could ever be: in compromise. Compromise leads to disaster! Let me prove it to you: Judges 16:13.
Then Delilah said, «Now I just want to be very clear about this, this is her thirtieth attempt.» Does anyone actually like that Delilah has done the same thing over and over? This makes me think that Samson is now trying to set the mood for his distraction. Pastor R, can you come up? I need my distraction to feel comfortable. Could you set the mood? Yeah, I don’t know what you’ve got over there, Mr. Piano Man, but me and my distraction, how you doing? I’ve been watching you for a while, and I see how you’re always there in my time of need. You’re right there for my weakness, and I just want to sing this to you: «Cause all of me loves all of you. Love your curves and all your edges, all your perfect imperfections. Give your all to me, I’ll give my all to you. You’re my end and my beginning, even when I lose, I’m winning.»
You see, I give you all of me, love me and you’ll give me all of you. Yeah, you’re my perfect distraction. You’re the one that I’m so comfortable with because I get an prophetic that y’all started singing «Make Room.» The reason I have to kill this distraction is because I need to make room for the only one who knows my future. I need a connection with the only one who can speak life into me. This is not just me giving to it; it’s Him—the Lamb of God, the Son who was slain, the one who already gave me everything before we came to this table. That’s why I say, «I will, yes sir, make room for You. I will prepare for You so You don’t feel that You can’t live here. Please live in me.»
Sing that refrain: «I will make room for You. I will prepare for You so You don’t feel that You can’t live in me.» I’m focusing on You, God. Please, You’re my focus. Come on, lift your hands and sing that! «I will make room for You.» Whatever that costs me, God, it’s You I’m looking at. I’m preparing my life for us, Lord, to live together, for You to be the priority. I feel You making room for me, God. Live here, Jesus, please. If you’re in this room and you know that there have been things taking the place of Jesus, distractions that have taken over, I mean, as I’m talking, there are people thinking about the game, the pregame, the game, the game, the pregame. What I’m saying is, who won six years ago? Who won ten years ago? Who won thirteen years ago? The only thing you’re going to be living with is all this going on. I’m not saying it’s bad; it’s just not a priority, and maybe you need to make room.
The beautiful thing about that song is it says «I will.» God is not dethroning your distractions; you have to. At the end of the day, you could have heard this whole message and thought, «That was a great word for them.» Y’all know how we do that; «Wow, powerful! Did y’all feel that?» The theatrics, the music, the roses, and the whole time, God is saying, «That video game system, that shopping tendency, being on every board at your kid’s school, you’re the PTA president, pet president—you.» I’m not trying to villainize anything. I’m just saying the things that we easily say, «God, scoot over so this can sit here.» I have grandkids now. I’ve always wanted to treat my grandkids the way I wasn’t able to treat my kids, but you’re not treating your wife, so the kids left, and now you skip to the grandkids, and the one that you forsook all others for is still sitting here, looking for something. That’s why I say, «I will make room for You, God. You got to be here. This is the only place I got to prepare for us.»
So, God, I need You to do what nobody else can do. I can’t live here. Please, Jesus, take Your place. Jesus, come on, right here at my table. I make room for You, Jesus. I’m going to continue next week; I feel like God’s given me more to say about this. But I need you to process what I said so that we can move on to actually implementing how we’re going to walk this out. There are a lot of people in this chair with this idea of success, and I got to hit it one more time because your distraction is climbing this corporate ladder—this money, this decimal—and it’s robbing you of your life. The income is on the other side of obedience. I’m not talking about being able to make money; you won’t have peace with it. I know people who are loaded and lonely. The blessings of the Lord, my Bible tells me, make one rich and add no sorrow. You can tell there’s sorrow with it; God wasn’t in it.
I’ve never done this in the history of my ministry, but I feel very led to do this today. I felt it earlier, and God said He was going to make the moment for it. There are couples living together, sleeping together, doing all the married things, and you’re not married. I want to talk to you in love today. I’m asking you to make a decision for your own safety. You might have kids together. No, no, no—don’t clap, don’t clap, don’t clap. Pray, because there are hearts involved, there are leases involved, there are cell phone payments involved.
This isn’t something to take lightly; I’ve never done this. But I heard the Holy Spirit say, «Michael, you cannot give such a strong warning through the Word and then have them miss it.» There are people who have been crying out for the blessing that God gives in marriage, but they haven’t decided. I need you to go through that list and see if you can commit to this person in covenant, or I need you to make a decision to let go of that distraction. As a church, we’re not judging you; we’re praying for you. We believe that on the other side of obedience, there will be massive transformation. Oh, come on, that’s where you clap! That’s where we believe God!
I don’t know, but I’m just calling this right now. Heather, if that’s you, and you know you’re supposed to make it right—this isn’t for everybody. Some of y’all know you’re not supposed to be together. That’s why we’ve been here seven years doing this. But we’re going to figure out a way. I’m going to tell y’all next week—if y’all want to do this—it’s not going to be about money, it’s not about that. We’re going to figure out how to marry these people too. So, we’re going to—I don’t know how we’re going to do it, but in the next couple of weeks, I’m going to figure it out with the team. We’re going to have church and then after church, we’re going to have a big wedding ceremony. Whether it’s ten of y’all, twenty of y’all, or two hundred of y’all, we’re going to do this thing God’s way. I need somebody to hear me say that we’re going to help you. We’re going to make a decision; we’ve got to move out of delusion and walk with wisdom. I feel the presence of God here today. I’m going to pray for everybody because if I make an altar call, everybody’s coming. No, I’m serious. So today, the altar is at your seat and at your home. Lift your hands everywhere.
Jesus, today, God, we are making a decision to stop dating our distractions, to stop catering to, connecting with, and cuddling the things that desire to take the power You’ve given us. Today, I pray, Father God, for the things that have become so strong, such a habit in our lives that we have not been able to break. Today, I thank You by the power of the Holy Spirit. Father, You are the one who tells us that the same power that was found in Jesus Christ—the same power that raised Him from the dead—is the same power we have. So, Father, I thank You that in the name of Jesus, by Your Spirit and Your power, it won’t be by might, it won’t be by power, but it will be by Your Spirit. I thank You, Father, that today there is rearranging and transformation happening inside Your children’s hearts. Today there’s a fresh surrender, and we’re deciding that we will make room for You. Father, be who You’ve always been: provider, comforter, the one who leads us into all truth. There are people confused and grieving right now, knowing that their distractions have literally defined their lives. But today, God, I thank You that You’re giving them a fresh vision. They won’t lose their vision because of a distraction; they are getting fresh vision from You about what their destiny looks like. God, I thank You that whatever You say, we will obey. Speak, confirm it, show it to us. You know how to get to us, and we will make room for You. Have Your way, is our prayer.
In the same attitude, with your heads still bowed and eyes closed, just focusing for a moment. If you are under the sound of my voice—whether you’re online or in this room, whether you’re on the worship team, a servant leader, or working a camera—I need you to hear me right now. Today is the day that God is calling you for salvation. If you’ve been walking your own way, doing your own thing, going wayward, today God says, «Come home.» He is giving you an opportunity of grace and mercy, and I am begging you right now. This is not based on fear; it’s based on faith. I think God has made a way to speak to you right where you are, saying, «Son, daughter, come home. Son, daughter, be made whole. Son, daughter, live in the love that I’ve already provided for you.»
If today you’re tired of doing it your own way, I need the church praying because somebody’s about to make a decision for their destiny. Somebody’s grandmother’s prayer is about to be activated in their life today. I need y’all to pray right now. I thank You that this is a moment of transformation, God, for those who have been going their own way. On the count of three, they’re going to identify, «Today is my day of salvation. I am coming to the Lord or I’m coming back to the Lord,» whether you’re in this room or watching online. You may be incarcerated right now; today is the day of salvation. God is about to rejoice with everybody in this room for your salvation. One, you’re making the greatest decision of your life. Two, all of hell is trembling because you’re about to become who you’re really supposed to be. Three, if you want to make Jesus Christ your personal Lord and Savior, lift your hand all over this place.
I see you right there. I see you, my brother. I see you. I see you, my sister. I see you. Come on, and if I don’t see you, God sees you. Transformation Church, let’s give God a shout of praise online. Glory to God! At TC, we’re a family. Right there in the maroon, yeah, there’s another one right over here, my sister. There’s another one, and the guy in the maroon—yeah, him and my man on the end right there. I don’t want anybody to be missed. I want you to get this Bible, but more than anything, I want you to get God in your heart. So, we’re a family. We’re going to pray this together:
Father God, thank You for sending Jesus just for me. Today, I give You my life. I repent. I turn from every distraction, from every sin, and I turn to You today. I believe that You lived, You died, and You rose again just for me. Here’s my life; take it, use me, renew me, transform me. I’m Yours. In Jesus' name, amen.