Michael Todd - Snitches Get Stitches
Today we are starting a brand new series entitled «Damage but Not Destroyed.» Every time God allows me to release a book, He tells me to do something very specific. He says, «I want you to preach the book without preaching the book.» I ask what that means, and He replies, «Do not use any of the content I outlined in the book. I want to give you fresh manna so that when they go to the book, they’ll see it was Me talking to them, not you.» This book contains content that God has worked in me over the past five years, but this message is fresh off the press.
The Holy Spirit has been bothering me about you for two weeks, so if you’re ready to go on this journey, I’m telling you that for probably the rest of the year—we might even be dealing with our damage at Christmas—because what better gift would it be than to actually be healed this Christmas? Not covering up with Louis Vuitton, Gucci, and Jordans. What if it wasn’t presents that were bought, but it was your presence being healed? We’re about to go on a journey, and I must start right here by telling you that this series will be about, watch this, theology and therapy. I know this isn’t used a lot in church circles, but I want you to know we fully believe in theology and therapy.
Pastor Natalie and I do it, everybody on the executive team does it, and this church believes that the catalyst happens at the altar. But all the stuff you’ve been dealing with needs to be talked about, and I’ve already amened myself a thousand times before I got here, so I don’t need your amen today. The truth of the matter is that everybody wants to talk about seeing a victory; everyone wants to talk about the triumph. Nobody wants to talk about the trauma, and the thing that disqualifies us more than anything from our destiny is the damage we’ve experienced and have not addressed. So during this series, we’re going to address it all.
I want to tell you a story about the time I got stitches. Has anybody ever had stitches before? Like, you’ve had to get stitches? Okay. My mom and dad wanted my older brother Gabe and me to learn to swim, so they took us to this place called Big Splash in Tulsa. Now, it has another name, but it will always be called Big Splash to me. I was kind of tall; I was a bit older than all the other kids learning to swim. That’s part of my passion here: very soon, we’re starting «Black People Can Swim» classes because I’m going to have a pool. We’ve got to learn how to swim! I was just a little older than all the other little kids in the class, and they took us to the shallow end to learn how to swim. They told us to go under and put our heads under.
When I went under, I busted my chin, and it split right open. All I remember is going to the instructor and saying, «Uh, teacher, this hurts.» That woman’s face was mortified. Within an hour, they called my parents, and I was in the doctor’s office getting stitches. I have stitches right here; you can’t see them because of the dye in my beard, but if I took it all off, it would be right here. I was maybe seven or eight. The next time I heard about stitches, I was in the seventh grade. I saw a kid do something very wrong, and me being taught in school and by my parents to tell the truth, I thought, «I’m about to go tell.»
This kid got in front of me and said, «Hey, you ain’t going to tell.» I was like, «Hold on, bro, did you not just see the assault that happened right in front of us?» He was like, «Snitches get stitches.» I thought, «I thought hurt people get stitches.» Then another guy came up and said, «Yo, bro, we ain’t see nothing,» and I’m sitting here confused because we all just saw that! What do you mean? They were teaching me something that culture has embedded in the hearts and minds of a generation—the idea that people who snitch get harmed, so they’re going to need stitches. What they were trying to do was instill fear in me about telling the truth, and may I submit to you that there are thousands of people under the sound of my voice right now who still subscribe to that demonic idea that the truth is somehow more harmful to you than what you are holding in.
Wouldn’t it be like the enemy to make you feel that the one thing God loves—He said, «I love the truth,» even if it’s hard, even if it sucks, even if it was unfair—would make you feel ashamed? I love the truth because in truth, I can do something with that. But the enemy has made a whole generation afraid to tell the truth because we believe deep down, even if we’ve never said it out loud, that snitches get stitches. Today, I’m about to dismantle that demonic lie over your life, and I’m going to preach a message called «Snitches Get Stitches.» Write it down.
Pastor Mike, why are you doing this? Because in the first instance when I got hurt, the stitches were there to help and heal. The second time I heard about it in seventh grade, it was to harm and hide. Many of us are doing harmful things right now and hiding the truth. It’s been 37 years since you told anybody what happened that night; it was a family member who did what they did to you. Nobody knows that you were the one who actually took the money—nobody knows that you’re really raising your sister’s child. I’m talking about the real stuff that is so deep down inside of us that we even forget it happened to us. You’ve built so many lies around the damage that has happened to you that you have a hard time deciphering what is the truth and what isn’t.
The reason why this is important is that your body is keeping the score, and a lot of the things that you think are hurting you aren’t actually the cause; it’s the damage you won’t bring to God. Our bodies were not meant to carry what many of us have been carrying. I can see it in your eyes; I can see it in your tone; I can see it in how you love people. You could be 70 years old in here, faking everybody out. The only person you cannot finesse is yourself. You’ve been finessing everybody else; your job thinks you love it, but every day you walk out of that place, you feel miserable.
The reason this is important, and I feel like it’s gone from book to burden, is that God doesn’t want us to walk into another year limping, faking, and hiding. Either we’re going to get healed, or we’re going to leave this God thing alone. He’s saying, «I would rather you be hot or cold, but not lukewarm—acting like you’re healed and whole, singing another song, and then going home and trying to figure out how to commit suicide, isolating from all the people you say you love and going from relationship to relationship, getting the same person with different names.» Let’s actually heal!
Now, church people say that, give you three notes and a point, and then send you on and be like, «Hopefully you’re healed.» Not me. We’re walking this out to the end of the year. You can literally sit in this room and not say anything; you can just be in this therapy session. You can be mad, you can be crying, and you can be writing curse words in your journal. I’m talking about real healing—it’s got to come up out of you! I’m talking about you not being able to hold it together, and I know this is making some of you shake inside, but God is interrupting your life to heal you right now, and this is the pathway to that healing.
Why are you doing this series, Pastor Mike? Very easy: freedom is the goal. Everybody say «freedom.» Shout at me: «Freedom!» One more time with faith—freedom! Freedom is the goal; truth is the path; confession is the key; healing is the result. Freedom is the goal. I’ll prove it to you: John 8:36, «So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed.» That word means in action continually. I get real scared when somebody says, «I’m healed.» I mean, like, done—finished—like forever. We are healing, transforming, and becoming. Freedom is the goal, but truth is the path.
John 8:32 says, «And you shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free.» You cannot have freedom without truth; that’s why you’re still bound. Freedom and truth are connected. So you can sing the song but still be bound. Freedom is the goal; truth is the path. Watch this: confession is the key. «Well, God knows my heart; He was there; He knows what happened. Me and Him talked; it’s good.» Let me introduce you to James 5:16: «Confess your sins to each other.» Uh-oh! Not to Travis, because—oh! This is why I did a whole series on kingdom couples about right partners; part of what partners do is not just help you get the bag—they help you remove your bondage. Oh my God! Y’all want people to help you make money; you need people to help you get free. It says confess your sins to one another; pray for each other so that you may be healed. Freedom is the goal; truth is the path; confession is the key; healing is the result.
Pastor Mike, what are you trying to say? I’m just trying to do this introductory message to get us ready for the hard work that God’s about to take all of us through. God doesn’t bless who you pretend to be; He blesses who you really are. Write it down. I’m coming back to this every week because some people are so puffed up right now that you think this message is meant for your neighbor. You’ve been sitting here for the first 15 minutes thinking, «Oh, God, it’s going to be great when Demonte hears this,» and God is about to visit you. He doesn’t bless who you pretend to be; He blesses who you really are.
Today, I want to look at a man who didn’t lie about where he really was, and I hope that someone’s faith will be encouraged to be honest about where you are today—not tomorrow, not where you hope to be, but where you are right now. John 20:19: «That Sunday evening, the disciples were meeting behind locked doors because they were afraid of the Jewish leaders. Suddenly Jesus was standing there among them.» Now, I need everyone to see and get context about what’s happening: Jesus has been taken, crucified; He resurrected, and everybody’s like, «Jesus is not here anymore, but where is He?» For 40 days, He comes back to visit the earth, and then He just pops into the room. That’s scary—can we be honest?
We get scared by people sitting right next to us, and if Jesus just walked through the wall and popped up, He said, «Peace be with you. Calm down! Chill out! It’s just your boy.» He showed them the wounds in His hands and in His side. They were filled with joy when they saw the Lord again. He said, «Chill out! It’s your boy! Peace be with you! As the Father has sent Me, so I am sending you.» Then He breathed on them and said, «Receive the Holy Spirit. If you forgive anyone’s sins, they are forgiven; if you do not forgive them, they are not forgiven.»
One of the twelve disciples, Thomas, was not with the others when Jesus came. They told him, «Bro, we have seen the Lord.» But he replied, «I won’t believe it unless I see the nails and the wounds. I want to put my hand in His side.» Forget this! I’m glad you had a great experience and a great life, but I’m hurt right now that I wasn’t here. Eight days later, the disciples were together again, and this time Thomas was with them. The doors were locked, but suddenly, as before, Jesus was like, «Bow! Peace be with you!» But He focused on one person. He said to Thomas, «Put your fingers here. Look at My hands. Put your hand into the wound in My side. Don’t be faithless any longer—believe!» «My Lord and my God!» Thomas exclaimed. Then Jesus told him, «You believed because you have seen Me; blessed are those who believe without seeing Me.»
Everybody gives Thomas a bad rap—I mean, before I even read this scripture, I was introduced to him as «Doubting Thomas.» Most people have never seen his story, but they literally say, «Don’t be a doubting Thomas.» I was like, «That’s disrespectful!» This man had a moment, but it became his label. What if every moment we had became our label? Like, «Ooh, that was you!» Stop it! I’m just doing what we do to Thomas: «Lying Larry, Stealing Steven.» What if your moment defines your life? «Divisive Danny, Toxic Tammy.» I have so much going through my head right now. I have to focus. They called him Doubting Thomas, but honestly, as I was reading this and thinking about my own journey, he was Damaged Thomas. He had a moment where he missed something, and it felt like he lost something. Has anybody ever had a moment where you missed something, and it felt like you lost something?
Instead of acting like most of us would have, the twelve disciples saw the Lord. Really, how was it? Oh my God, I can feel the presence right now. He was honest; that sucks. I wasn’t here. He couldn’t have waited? I walked with him; he could have. He’s so powerful; he could have met me at the place I was at and then came and saw y’all. So forget it. I’m glad that all of you had an experience with God. I’m glad that you all grew up with both of your parents. You all want to be real? I’m glad that you got a scholarship to that college, but not all of us are that fortunate. Good for you. I’m glad that you weren’t abused by a cousin. I’m happy for you, but it didn’t happen for me.
So if you want me to have the same enthusiasm that you have in this moment about God, I can’t because I’m damaged. His doubt turned into damage, and this is the equation I need everybody to see. I’m going to walk you through this: damage of the moment brings doubt; doubt brings disconnection. It wasn’t that Jesus was disconnected from him, but he was disconnected from Jesus. I’m telling you all this is what happens in our lives. We get damaged, we start doubting, we stop praying about stuff, and we get disconnected. The disconnection makes you desperate, and people do dumb stuff when they’re desperate. The damage ends in desperation, and when you go to anyone or anything outside of the source, it will lead to destruction.
Why do many people end up in destruction? It didn’t start at destruction; it started off as just a little damage, and that damage grew. What I’m telling everybody right now is this is not ethereal; this is real. You’ve seen it a thousand times: somebody was damaged in a relationship, and they think all relationships can’t work. They say, «What is love anyway? I guess it’s not real.» They let one moment of damage make them disconnected, and that disconnection makes them desperate. The same person telling them that love isn’t really a thing is the same person sneaking from hotel room to hotel room because the desperation wants to make them feel something so bad that they do something dumb, and it ends their life in a vicious cycle that then they just try to hide from everybody else.
I’m using one example, but you can put your example in there. What I’m telling you is there’s something you can do before you end up in destruction. God is not mad at your damage. He’s not even mad that you’re disconnected; we’re humans. What He wants you to do is when you get desperate—everybody watch this—I’m going to say a cuss word; be honest. When people get desperate, they usually start faking. How many people have been going through something that nobody knew, and somebody actually asked you what was going on, but you did not feel safe or comfortable to tell them what was really going on? Let’s be honest. Hey, I need high hands. What did we do? We lied to them. Let me use another word: we hid. God can never heal what we won’t reveal.
I like Thomas because he does something the church doesn’t talk about, but I believe it’s the very thing that saved him. Instead of becoming someone who faked it when he got desperate, he was honest. Y’all can have that belief in him, but until I see the nail prints and until he lets me put my hand in his side, forget it. Thomas should not just be Doubting Thomas or just Damaged Thomas; he should be Honest Thomas. Can we give him a new name: Honest Thomas? He did what 95% of the church would never do; he told the truth. This series is going to be uncomfortable for some people. People are going to get up and walk out; people’s butt cheeks are going to be tight because I’m coming to your house.
The reason I’m telling you this is because most church messages are to make you feel happy about where you’re at, not to agitate you out of complacency. I do not want you to stay the same. By faith, I am moving you out of the paralyzed place you’ve been in, into a place that’s going to deal with your damage and push you into your destiny. I feel it, but I can’t just cliché you to death; we have to deal with some stuff. So when I looked at Thomas’s life, I said I’ll never call him Doubting Thomas again. I’m going to call him Honest Thomas because I believe it was his honesty that drew Jesus back to him. Okay, I’ll—y’all are not ready for that yet. Write this down: this tells us something. Remember, Thomas was a disciple. He wasn’t a fan of Jesus coming around casually every six weeks. He walked and talked and ate with him every day.
So this tells me something that everybody in church needs to understand: discipleship does not exclude you from damage. Being a disciple does not exclude you. He’s coming to the just and the unjust. When damage hit my house, I was the pastor. When we found out that MJ was diagnosed with autism, that wasn’t like, «Oh, that’s for the people who don’t serve and don’t pray.» No, damage is going to visit everybody. But today, all I’m asking you to do is be honest about your damage. I’ve got a rule: be honest. It’s going to take—I’m going to give you four points because this is just a setup to be honest about your damage. It’s going to take faith. You have to have faith to believe that God can deal with your damage, and most of y’all do not believe that God can deal with it. You think that your mess-up is too big for the one who made you. But everything that my kids do to mess up my house, I’m the only one who can fix it.
The reason this is difficult for many people is because there’s no guarantee. If I’m going to be honest, I don’t know if people will look at me the same. I don’t know if I’m going to actually be able to have a reputation and a name. Can I tell you it doesn’t matter? Because what you’re suffering with right now you were never meant to carry. Many people aren’t this honest because they feel like they won’t be accepted, covered, and they won’t have value. Can I tell you that in your worst state—this is why I serve Jesus—in my worst state, I was accepted by God, and He sent people into my life to help cover me in that season, and my value never changed. Oh my gosh, I need to let somebody know that even if you’re dealing with the hardest thing in your life, the value that God placed in you is still in you. But people think if I’m honest, they will only see me as my damage.
This is why you haven’t told what happened to you in sixth grade. This is why you won’t tell them the website you go to and you delete the history every night. Oh yeah, this is why your spouse doesn’t know you have a secret account because you’re planning your exit all the time. Nobody ever committed to you when you were younger, and you said it can never be this good. So you’ve been setting up, preparing for it to all fall apart for years, and nobody even knows. Oh yeah, we know you quote scripture, but the only reason you quote scripture is to make other people feel low so you can feel better about yourself. You led over everybody with all of the religious practices you do, but you don’t even have love in your heart for those people. It goes back to a wound, a damaged spot, a messed-up moment where you started to doubt. God said, «This next season’s going to take—everybody shout at me—faith.»
Don’t have crazy faith for a house and not have crazy faith for your heart. Y’all missed the whole thing. We got the keys; use the keys. The building doesn’t matter if the person in the building is broken. What God wants to do is make sure that we heal what’s there. So let’s stop just yelling crazy faith for places we live and let’s use our crazy faith to rebuild the place that we can’t escape. So if you’re going to be honest, it’s going to take—everybody say faith. Thomas was honest, and the second thing Thomas had was—watch this—if you’re going to be honest, you’re going to need these friends.
Now, some of y’all are thinking about this the wrong way because you’re going to need friends that can handle and deal with you in the tension of your transformation. My man is with the disciples who just saw Jesus; they’re throwing a praise party, and he comes in and it’s like, «Forget y’all; I don’t care! God is not good to me!» Oh God, if somebody came in here after our big praise party and got on the mic and said, «All of y’all are fake,» we would usually kick those people out. «Boo, get them out of here; they’re trash!»
Thomas had friends for his damaged season. Oh God. How do we know this? Because eight days later, the disciples were together again. He was still with them after he was honest, and my question is, will you make space for people to tell you what’s really going on, and you don’t cancel them? No, no, no! Oh, she’s going through some things; I don’t really mess with her. I’m not saying anything. But what I am saying is, can God trust you to hold the tension when you know your friend says, «I don’t believe in God»?
The word tells me to not be yoked with some unequally yoked. I’ve got to get out of here! But the disciples still let Thomas hang around when he was honest that he didn’t believe like y’all right now. This is going to challenge the church because you want everybody to get saved and be clean in the same day. It took you 34 years to walk in that level of delusion and crap, and now I’m supposed to be brand new in exactly a two-hour worship experience? I’ve been smoking weed for ten years! The taste of it is a part of my everyday life. And you want me—there are physical things I have to detox from. But I can’t come—okay, all right. The church wants to reach people until we start reaching people. What I’m saying is that for you to be honest, you’ve got to have friends who have mastered the art of being with people who are not perfect.
Can I say this to some other people? Because some people have been damaged and burned by a lot of people, and right now you’re saying, «Like, yeah, I hear you Pastor Mike, but that isn’t for me anymore. I’ve tried people, tried church, tried all this community stuff.» Okay, the fact of being damaged by people doesn’t exempt you from trying again. That’s why I think about, I’ve done a lot of funerals in my day. You know what everybody wants to do at the end of their life? They want to get all the stuff they never said out of them. I mean, I’ve literally seen people on their deathbed say, «Tell Susan to come here; tell my loved ones to come here. I really do love you; I just never said it! I really do! I’m sorry I didn’t know how to express it.»
They’re trying to get up out of them what their body was never meant to carry. I’ve got to keep moving. To be honest, it’s going to take faith; to be honest, it’s going to take friends; to be honest, it’s going to take—watch this—focus. I need to be very clear about this because any time we start dealing with trauma and all that other stuff, many people glorify the trauma; they glorify the pain. That’s not what we’re doing in this series. Watch this; we’re going to acknowledge the pain but focus on Jesus. Oh, that is way too good! Where am I going to focus on Jesus? But I’m going to bring this pain to Him. So this is not going to be a loathing like, «This is what happened to me; this is why I can’t ever…» No, we are going to—everybody say focus—we’re going to focus on Jesus, but that means we have to acknowledge the pain.
Hebrews 12:2 says, «Fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of our faith, for the joy that was set before Him, he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.» During this series, all I’m going to ask you to do is focus on Jesus. It’s going to be hard for some of us to walk back to some of the places where the hurt really happened. I’m being honest right now; some of the things we’re going to talk about are going to be triggering. This is not going to be the season where you just numb the pain; we’re going to deal with it. If you don’t want to heal, you may not want to tune in for the next six months. No, no, no! I want to be very clear with you: nobody’s going to force you to do anything, but you’re going to be compelled.
The Spirit of God is in this place, and He has anointed me to preach this gospel to you, and it’s going to start doing something on the inside of you that will make marriages change, legacies be restored, and things are going to change. But we cannot deal with the pain by focusing on the pain. When you focus on the pain, it makes you want to get prescribed something; you no longer want to feel it. We’re going to acknowledge the pain: I was abused, I was forgotten, I was never chosen, I was the abuser, I was the one who took advantage of them. I ruined all of those girls' lives. Oh God, I only dress the way I do so that people can give me a compliment because I don’t believe I’m beautiful; I don’t see my value. I could never do that because my father never affirmed me. I’m talking about real stuff.
How do we go through this, keeping our eyes focused on Jesus, who affirms us if nobody else does, who calls us His, who redeemed us by His blood? While we were yet sinners, He saved us, He died for us, and He still calls us royalty when we feel too damaged to be honest. You’re going to need faith, you’re going to need friends, you’re going to need focus, and I’m going to give you the last one—this is the kicker. To be honest, you’re going to need to fall apart, and I need to apologize on behalf of the church because we’ve been proponents of telling you to keep it together: come to the altar, we’re going to pray for you—ah, it’s over, never again. You’re walking out of the fire; you don’t smell like what you’ve been through.
We do all of these things. No, come on! I’m not saying there’s no power in that, but it feels like… hold on, I feel like I’ve been hit. You said I’m going to look like I haven’t been through anything? I look pretty hit; I look pretty jacked up. My marriage is hanging on by a thread! It’s a new season; it feels kind of like the old one to me, Pastor. Come on, if we could really say what we want to say sometimes, we’re walking in the victory, barely walking. It’s really kind of crawled in here; matter of fact, I was lowered in by four friends. I didn’t get in here on my own strength; it was people who saw how damaged I was that kept inviting me and sending me the sermons and holding me up and lowering me in front of Jesus. I didn’t even want to be here, but I didn’t have enough strength to fight.
Today, I want to give everybody that’s viewing this message from God to you; I want to give you permission to fall apart. It’s very difficult to heal while you’re holding everything. This is why when you go into surgery, they don’t let you bring anything. If you’ve ever had surgery, especially surgery where they have to cut on you, they tell you to take everything off, no matter if it’s your favorite ring that your husband gave you in 1962; they say, «Take it off,» because anything that comes in this area could potentially contaminate you during this type of surgery. Well, can I keep my clothes on? But, naked, there is no surgery where you can go in and have your sweats on and just pull your sweat up and say, «No, just right here, just cut it out.»
Vulnerable, exposed, because what’s about to happen means that you can’t keep it together. I need you to fall apart. Thomas was able to get his healing because he was allowed to fall apart—not doubting Thomas, not just damaged Thomas—what’s his name? Honest Thomas! He fell apart for eight days, and then the Bible says that Jesus made another stop on His tour to come to the same place, and He literally said, «Hey y’all, it’s me!» They’re like, «Oh shoot!» and He calls the honest man by his name—Thomas. I know the other disciples were ready for a prophetic word, instructions, maybe a mandate to go do something; He was focused on Thomas because Thomas was honest. «This is what you need, Thomas! Your honesty has drawn me back to you. This is what you need, Thomas. No, no, no, put it right there.»
I believe in this series and through the message of this book, «Damaged but Not Destroyed,» I have learned that the old adage is true: snitches get stitches. Because if you’re honest enough to snitch on where you’re at right now, the Great Physician, Jesus, will be drawn to your infirmity, and He will heal you. Jesus allowed His wounds to stay open so yours could be closed. Hear what I just said: why would the resurrected Savior keep the body with the holes and the open wound still in it? Why didn’t He come with this glorified body to show us what we could have? He said, «I’m going to take the penalty that the damage of this world put on you. I’ll stay open.»
Thomas, put your hand right here. I intentionally didn’t close it up so that you could bring me all your damage and yours would be healed. The question is, will you be honest? God doesn’t bless who you pretend to be; He doesn’t bless who you post to be; He doesn’t bless who you project to be. God only blesses, heals, and stitches up who you really are. Isaiah 53:5 says, «But He was wounded for our transgressions, He was bruised for our iniquities; the chastisement for our peace was upon Him, and by His stripes, we are healed.» He left His wounds open so that ours could close.
Today, I want to start a revolution of snitches—people that aren’t telling for the sake of getting somebody else in trouble. That may happen because there are consequences, but my goal is what I said at the beginning of this whole thing: remember, freedom is the goal, truth is the path, confession is the key, and healing is the result. How many people really want to be healed? So there’s only one thing you have to do: you’ve got to be honest. And I know there are some people in here thinking, «Pastor Mike, you don’t understand what this means for my family; you don’t understand what this means for my life; you don’t understand what this means for my children.»
You don’t understand! I don’t, but He does. But if you think about the grace of God, the more honest I am, the more glory He gets because God’s still using the dude that did the spit example. As a matter of fact, I put it in my book. I’ll tell you the details because the more honest I am, the more glory He gets. Oh, you’re talking about the same pastor who had car insurance fraud on his record? Yeah, yeah, yeah! I’m going to show you my mug shot with the edge up and my collar shirt on! Because the more honest I am, the more glory He gets. I’m talking about the guy who is addicted to pornography, has six months of TCC education, has made mistakes over and over again, but gets up still to declare the glory of God.
Oh, I get it—His strength is made perfect in my weakness, in my damage. I just want to tell you, you may feel damaged, but you’re not destroyed. God can take you from trauma to triumph, and the value that He put in you is still in you! So the only question is, who’s going to be honest today? I’m praying for the faith to be honest. It doesn’t have to happen today; it doesn’t have to be this week. No, no, no, no, no! Everybody calm down; the Holy Spirit’s about to guide us beautifully into the most transformative process of our lives. When you get this book, I’m going to help you, I’m going to share with you, and I’m going to give you resources. If you just show up here every week, I’m going to be your coach, and we’re going to walk this thing out systematically and let the Holy Spirit do the heavy lifting.
About a year and a half ago, as I was writing this book, I was taking a break, and I was scrolling through Instagram, and I’m a musician at heart. I saw this little clip of this girl singing a song that arrested my heart. I was in the middle of doing deep work—therapy and theology—and she began to sing this song about honesty that convicted me to the point where I said I have to tell the whole truth. And today, as an altar call, I don’t want anybody to move, leave, or go anywhere. I just want you to reflect and ask the Holy Spirit, «What are You saying to me through this message?»
I asked this young lady to come sing this song, and I believe it’s going to minister to you the same way it’s been ministering to me. I’ve listened to it a million times, and it just keeps reminding me: if I could bring my honesty to the Designer, He could use my damage for destiny. Let this song minister to you. Every time I walk out of the house, I put on another face just to blend in with the crowd so nobody sees me. You would never believe me. I tell you that I’m whole, but I’m still healing. I tell you that I’m happy, but I’m grieving. I always fight; I’m still in the fire, but if I’m being honest, I’m not being honest. I give you roses just to open, you don’t see the weeds in my garden. If I’m being honest, in my darkest, I’m sitting here waiting and praying for someone to show me what love is. I’m just being real. Every time, past the hardest part, here comes another ghost, just pulling me to the dark. I thought it was all gone.
«Let this be over, 'cause if I am not, I’ll give you rose.» It’s just open, you don’t see the weeds in my garden. I’m at my darkest; I’m sitting here waiting and praying for someone to show me love. If you’re weary, if you’re burdened, all He wants is your heart. All He wants is your heart. I’m honest in my darkest; I’m sitting here waiting and praying for someone to show me what love is. I’m just being honest. Oh, we cry to You, Jesus! I can’t make it on my own, so I cry, «Jesus, Jesus, I need You! I need You!» Please don’t pass me by. We accept that we can’t make it on our own, and so I cry, «Jesus, Jesus, how I need You! Please don’t leave me!» Don’t pass me by. I acknowledge that You are who I need. I cry, «Jesus! Only You can heal the broken part! Please don’t pass me by! Oh, You are all I need! All I need.»
And I cry, «Jesus, Jesus, how I need You! Please don’t pass me by.» I believe in this season, God is healing every person who makes a decision today to be honest. If that’s you, you’re saying, «I’m going to be honest about where I am, and I want God to meet me right there,» would you stand all over this place and in your home? Because I believe God is visiting people right now, and He’s going to tell you that everything that held you down is about to be gone. All of it! Come on, sing this by faith; He’s doing the work. Hey, depression, delusion, anxiety—it’s going away! I feel the presence of God coming right now! Somebody just lift your hands! We’re at the beginning, but we’re believing that what your mother did, what the cousins did—hey! —what you’ve been hiding, what’s been holding you back, we’re believing that God is doing what no one can do. Any man that be in Christ, he’s a new creation!
Today, we’re bringing our damage to the Designer. Oh, oh, I feel the presence of God in this moment right now! The Healer is here. All the things in your past say goodbye. Yeah, by faith, at the beginning, just wave to it, say, «I’m no longer going to be in this place; I’m going to let God do something with my damage.» Insecurities, tell it, «Kendall, just sing it one more time!» I’m not being honest. I’ll give you roses; it’s just open; you don’t see the weeds in my garden. If I’m being honest, in my darkest, I’m sitting here waiting and praying for someone to show me what love is. Love is… show me with love… show me with love… just being honest! I’ll just be singing «Grace.»
How sweet the sound that I was lost but now I’m found! Was blind, but now I see! Oh, just one more time! Amazing grace, how sweet the sound! That saved a wretch like me! I was lost, but now I’m found! I see… I’m being honest! I’m just being honest! It was His grace and His mercy! It was His grace and His mercy for me! Just being honest… just being honest! Just being honest! His grace and mercy—He gives His grace and mercy! Just being honest! Just being honest! His grace and mercy, in the midst of my mess! So, I’m just being honest about the love of God. If you’re in this room or watching online, our only job is to facilitate a moment where you and the Holy Spirit can have communication. God is here, and He’s asking, «Will you be honest?»
I know we don’t have enough room in this facility, but I just feel like there needs to be a faith step that happens today. If you know there are some things that you have not fully been honest about and you want God to see you, make a step of faith—come down to this altar. I don’t care where you’re at; we can fill the aisles. If you’re at home, if you’re sitting, stand up; if you’re in bed, get on your knees. Let this be a moment of honesty right now. Don’t let your pride, don’t let your position, and don’t let what people think keep you from being honest right now. This is your moment! Come on up, come on up, come on up; make room today being honest, huh? God, we’re just being honest. Come on, somebody, just lift that up by faith. We’re just being honest right here, just being honest.
Father, do something with our honesty; take our broken pieces. Father, we’re just being honest. Come on, people are still coming. Just lift your hands; just be. Don’t leave this moment that could change the legacy of your family. Come on, say, «Holy Spirit, move! Holy Spirit, change! Holy Spirit, deliver!» Just for everybody that came here, or even at your seat because of fear, but you’ve won this moment. Just lift your hands right now; at home, lift your hands. I feel breakthrough in this house right now—not in some churchy revival way; I’m talking about real change. I’m talking about families being delivered, healed, and set free. Hands lifted all over this place. Father, right now, here we are; we’re bringing our marriage, our baggage, our brokenness, our hurts, our anger, our rage. There are even a few people who just can’t move. There’s some people that still need to make a faith step. You, you, you—like God is saying, «I need you to admit, even in this moment, that you need me to come see you.» We’re going to wait on you; there’s no shame. Take over, God! Whoa! I feel the presence of God in this place, bro; He’s healing you; He’s delivering; He’s changing right now. We will no longer hide behind the fear of truth. Take over, God. Father, deal with our damage. Oh my God, Holy Spirit, I can pray a prayer, but you’re moving on hearts right now. Father, you’re healing the inner child. Father God, you’re doing work on the person—not the one we see today, but the person who was damaged. Do what only you can do, God. Whatever you want to do, reign over and take over. Somebody say, «Whatever you want to do, do.» Oh, I love you, God. You take me just as I am; you love me too much to let me stay that way. Father, I pray for your people. God, you told me not to act like a savior, but to point them to the One. So today, Father God, I’m just as damaged; here I am. Father God, in the position you’ve asked me to be in, I want to lead your people to your feet, God. Today, Father, we’re coming with all of our baggage, all of our brokenness, and all of our pieces. Father, things that we have kept hidden for years, things, Father, that have been dwelling on the inside of us, habits, Father, that even our closest loved ones don’t know we have—today, Father, we’re bringing them to you, the designer, the Creator, the God of peace, the one who is the healer. And God, today, we’re asking you to start a journey of healing inside us. Thank you that you stayed open, so we could close up our wounds, God. Father, today as we pray, I thank you that there will be a supernatural infusion of peace that passes all understanding. Father, as we begin to think, «Well, what’s going to happen, and how are we going to do this?» Father, thank you that you are the Prince of Peace and that every step of this process you’re going to lead and guide us into truth. Families are being mended by the decisions they are making right now. Pain that has ailed people for decades, Father, is subsiding as they are literally releasing. Father, I thank you for the courage it’s going to take for us as a church to get really healed, but I thank you that, Father, you are not disgusted by our damage; it actually is the thing that draws you to us. Take over and reign over. Take over, God; we can’t do this without you. Father, for everybody whose doubt has turned into disconnection at this moment, God, I am praying that today will be the first time that their faith is reignited to a place of belief. Thank you, Lord.
If you’re in here and you are like Thomas, you stopped believing or you never believed and today you want to give your life to Jesus, this is why our church exists—to help you be transformed in Christ. I don’t care where you are right now, what alternate lifestyle you’re living in; I don’t care what they said; I don’t care what drink you have; I don’t care what you did last night. All I care is that you accept the free gift of salvation as you accept Jesus. And there are people in this room who have been disconnected from Him; you’ve been playing church, but God wants a real relationship with you. You used to be white-hot, and now you’ve been super cold. God says, «Can we connect so I can walk you through this healing process?»
If you’re watching online, on the count of three, or in the room, I just want you to identify yourself. We’re all damaged; we’re all at this altar. Why not today, with no guilt, no condemnation, and no shame? Why don’t we give our lives over to the One who can do so much more than we can? If you want to give your life to Christ, just lift your hand. On one, you’re making the greatest decision of your life. Two—hands are already going up; your name is going to be written in the Lamb’s Book of Life. Three—if you want Jesus to be your Lord and Savior, I see you, my brother. I see you. I see you, my sister. Transformation Church, I see you, but more than that, God sees you. Come on, all the way in the balcony, I see you. I see you. Hallelujah! Transformation Church, we’re family; nobody prays alone. Let’s pray this together. Say:
God, I’m damaged. I need you. Today, would you be my Lord and Savior? I believe you lived, you died, and you rose again just for me, just for me. Change me, renew me, transform me. I’m yours. In Jesus' name, amen.