Michael Todd - Cuffed to Comparison
All right, today is week four of a series we’re calling «Cuffing Season.» If you’re ready, make some noise! All right, here we go! Wow, this whole series has been special to me because this series, like a few others, has the power, I believe, to literally transform your entire life if someone checks in from beginning to end. In week one, we started talking about the subtitle of this series: Cuffing Season—The Things That You Love That Don’t Love You Back. How many people can name three things right now that you love but you know don’t love you back? Okay! I see some of y’all are lying right now because that cake you ate yesterday? It doesn’t love you back. And that person you keep DMing? They don’t love you back; they’re using you.
Okay, can I go for it? Let me ask the question again: How many people have things in their life that you love that do not love you back? Hands, please! I’m going to start calling you out! The reason we have to be that honest about what we’re talking about right now is because God can never heal what you will not reveal. Every sermon, I’m trying to give you an opportunity to say, «Me too! It’s me! Here I am!» Look, that’s what I did; that’s all I’m trying to get you to do. Because God will never knock down a place where you have the door locked. I know you want Him to, because if you were God, you would just do it. But He said, «I’m a gentleman, and I’m not.» That’s why I gave you choice. I stand before you today, giving you two options: life or death. I’m going to give you the answer to the test: choose life. But you still have a choice!
So today, I want to go further in this series, but I gotta beg you, please go back. As we are at week four, if you have not watched, dissected, and actually ruminated on the past three messages, it’s going to be imperative for you to be able to hang on for the next however many messages this is. I feel like we’re in a flow right now. So, in week one, we talked about the things that we love that don’t love us back. In week two, we got specific and said we’re uncuffing from comfort. Last week, we got knocked around, and God told us that we need to actually uncuff from convenience. This week, I’m coming in even heavier, okay? I just want to warn you, but we’re going to start light so that we can go deep.
Okay, I know it’s been a little rough for everybody, so I want to play a game starting off, okay? And we’re going to play this game—could you give me some cheesy game show music, please, maestro? Go ahead and do that. And before you do that, I need a couple—who’s the newest married couple in the room? Is there someone who has been married for less than a year? Can I see your hands? Less than a year? I need a Christian. Christian and Dash, where are they at? Are both of them here? All right, come on! Let’s give it up for Christian and Dash for coming to my impromptu game show that they know nothing about! Hurry, it’s live!
All right, how long have y’all been married? Four months? Brother, you’re really going to need to know these dates; you’re going to get in real trouble! I’m going to play a game. Cheesy music, cue now, please! Okay, that’s good! That’s good! Could you put my game show graphic up there? And I need you all to come up here for me, and I just need y’all to stand right here. This is «Comparison» and «Compatible.»
Okay, so this is all I want y’all to do. I don’t want to mess up your marriage, but I want to see where you’re at right now, okay? I’m going to put two things on the screen, and I want you to step to the side of the one you think you would want for the rest of your life. Now, I don’t need this to be a whole bunch of debating and maybe—no, no, I mean you’ve got three seconds! I’m going to put two things on there, and you go to each side, which one you think, okay? And then I want you all to play at home.
So, in the chat, I want you to respond, and in the audience, I want you to yell out which one, and we’re going to play this game together, okay? Is everybody ready? I said, studio audience, are you ready? Okay! Cheesy music, play the whole time! Okay, here we go! Which one: Nike or Adidas? Okay, they’re together on that one! All right, here we go! Which one: football or basketball? Dang! Y’all are in it together! All right, I’m going to step aside. Here we go! Which one: Tesla or Mercedes? Uh-oh. All right, here we go! Come on! I need you to put it in the chat! Which one: snow cones or ice cream? Oh, these are some snow cone people! You see them in the middle right there? Get on, get on the side, Christian! Okay, it’s because they put chocolate ice cream. If they would have put cookies and cream, that would have been good.
Which one: Instagram or TikTok? Which one? What’d y’all say? Okay, put it in the chat! Okay, everybody say which one: beach or mountains? What you call me? No, I’m just flying this way! I’ll just flip this! Everybody say which one: country mansion or city penthouse apartment? Oh, she said—she walked over there with the quickness! Okay, which one, since we’re in Oklahoma: OU or OSU? She said, «I don’t care, my hair is pink; it don’t even matter!» Okay, that was level one. Now we’re going to increase for level two and see what’s going to happen! Everybody say which one! Now, this is somebody or something—that’s the only one you have forever— which one do you want?
Okay! All right: LeBron James or Max from the YMCA? A gourmet meal or dog food? Y’all are not playing no more! Writing a book or being booked in jail? Who came up with these questions? A G-Wagon or a wagon? They haven’t moved! A laptop computer or a typewriter? Somebody said a typewriter? Where are you from? 1814? What is this? Okay, a couple more: your dream house or a Barbie dream house? Y’all know you’re still not playing! Okay, dream house! A cassette tape or streaming services like Spotify? Can we give it up for our contestants today, Christian and his beautiful wife Dash? Thank you! Your prize is nothing! I love you!
Give it up for Caleb Shore, ladies and gentlemen! The truth is, in round one there were actual things that were comparable. In round two, there was no difference, and most people would say there’s no comparison—LeBron James or Max from the YMCA? My dream house or a Barbie dream house? They’re on completely different levels.
And so, I have one more comparison real quick. Come here, Bella, and come here—G or Ava, whichever one—come here! Yeah, bring Gigi, get rid of my baby. Tell me, that’s that baby! Look at daddy’s baby! This is Gia Joy and Bella Monet. If I came up here as a loving father—"Hi, daddy’s baby, you did it! And look at daddy’s, yay! That’s daddy’s baby!»
Okay, is that—is that his joy baby? What you looking at? You’re looking at your sister? That’s daddy! This is Gia Joy and Bella Monet. If I came up here as a loving father and said I need everybody’s help—help me compare these two— which one? Silence! Because some things were not made to be compared. There’s no way as a loving father that both of these babies, who were the first two people I held, that I watched come into this world—I watched it. I watched her come out of her mama. I’ve changed diapers, and there’s no way that you could ask me, yes, amen, amen! This one’s going to be a speaker, y’all, she already loves the lights!
You good? Hey, what’s your sister’s name? You say Bella? You say Bella? Say, «Bella!» See, this week we’ve been hitting a lot of milestones, but there’s no—say Bella! Say Bella! You’re going to play me in front of all of these people? There are other people watching! We’ve practiced this a thousand times! Say Bella!
I love you too. There’s no way I can choose one because they’re both—watch this—masterpieces! Okay? And I need you to look at yourself and look at your neighbor and say, «I’m a masterpiece.» Say it until you believe it! Say, «I’m a masterpiece.» Say it with faith! Say, «I’m a masterpiece!» Can y’all give it up for my two little masterpieces? Okay, I brought them up here because today, I’ve got to talk to us about something that’s killing our calling—something we’ve been cuffed to: we’ve been cuffed to comparison.
It’s robbing you of the life God is intending for you, and this is that stuff that nobody wants to talk about because it’s so usual for you that you don’t even see it as comparing. You say things like, «I’m just evaluating, just weighing my options, just looking so I can get an idea of what they have so I can know what I need to desire.» But under all of those weak words, there is something that is negatively motivating many of our actions, ideas, and thoughts. This literal disease is called comparison, and it’s going to be quiet in here today because many of the people that are listening are cuffed to it.
Some of y’all are watching the message right now while still scrolling on Instagram because you’re cuffed to compare. You follow people you don’t even like to make sure you’re doing better than them. Uh, I’m going to come straight for it. You always check what they’re wearing! Some of y’all have sent your friend to a party ahead of time! «So, what are you wearing?» Why? I never want to be out of sync or in a place where I’m not up to a certain level because I know somebody’s always going to be comparing me to something or someone else.
And many of you are being robbed of your life because you are more committed to comparing than you are to your calling. And today, I’m coming to help you be set free! I want you to have your life back; I want you to enjoy today! It might not be everything that you want it to be, but it is what you got, so God wants you to enjoy it here. And that means you have to be uncuffed from comparison.
When I just brought my daughters up here, there’s no way I could compare them and literally choose one or the other because they were made as masterpieces. And that’s why I need you to understand how our God has formed us: Ephesians 2:10. I didn’t just make up those words; I need you to declare this over your life, no matter what weight size you are, no matter what you live in today, no matter what job you have, no matter what tax bracket you’re in, no matter how pretty your kids are or how great their personalities are, it does not matter! For we are God’s masterpiece! He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, and He does this so we can do something—the good things that He planned for us a long time ago.
You can’t do the good things not liking what God’s given you. You cannot do the good things He planned for you, and you are comparing yourself to everything and everyone and every other thing, not looking at what God has placed in your hands. All you have is all you need, but yet you are disgruntled about what God has put in your hand, and you’re still not even using it! But you’re still using your sight and your ears, and you’ve been cuffed to comparison!
So I need to say it to you today; some of my points are right there, but I need you to hear me say this. I’m saying it because this is something I was cuffed to for years. It wasn’t until the last four or five years that I’ve been uncuffed from caring what anybody thinks about what God is doing in my life. Why? Because looking at your lane makes me stumble in mine! If I’m so focused on every step you’ve taken and every step that you’re gaining and how far you are behind me, then I will stumble on the thing that God has called me—the lane He’s called me to run in.
And today, I want to set you free. That’s why this is a point everybody needs to write down and get in your mind! Nobody’s ever told you this, but compare products, not people. I’m fine with you deciding whether you want Clorox or Tide—figure out which one works! Compare those! I’m fine with you deciding if you want Chick-fil-A or Popeyes—compare those all day! But me or you, your church or their church? Oh, compare products, not people! God never calls a product in the Bible a masterpiece, but He calls every human creation a masterpiece! I need somebody to say, «I’m a masterpiece!»
And I’m going to keep saying it this whole time because some of you have been so worn out by the world and your own comparison that you don’t even feel it anymore! You don’t even like yourself! Okay, I see it when you’re sitting there, and there’s breath in your body, but you still will not go to places because you don’t want to be compared to how you looked in a different season. You won’t even show up to do what God has asked you to do. Yes, it’s your first time. Stop comparing your seed to somebody else’s tree.
Why in the world are you here knowing this is your first time ever public speaking, and you want to sound like me? This is 12 years of failure! But you won’t start on your first step because you’re comparing yourself to somebody who inspired you. Be careful how much you listen to and look at people who are great if your self-esteem is not solid because what it will do is rob you of the first steps you need to take. And you’re being so critical— that’s what I need to do! I need to uncuff from being critical as well.
Some of us are so critical of ourselves that we won’t even give ourselves the grace to become. No baby comes out of the womb walking, no matter how big the baby is. You can have a 14-pound baby, and that child will still be limp. Why? Because growing takes time. If you don’t stop comparing your business, your ideas, your family, and your pictures, you can’t play for a professional picture. It’s all right to set up that Polaroid and take a picture of you and your family. You might need a stick to do it, but what I’m saying is you may be missing out on the greatest area of your contentment.
Oh, here’s a C-word we don’t mess with much in 2022: contentment. Y’all know that scripture we always quote, «I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.» That scripture is often quoted out of context. Paul is talking about how he has been rich, poor, beaten, jailed, and praised, and now he realizes he’s content because he can do all things— all of that through Christ who strengthens him. That does not mean to go climb a wall and hang from it with one hand. I can do all things; I can be content. I can work a job where they don’t pay me because I know I’m gaining the level of understanding and character I need to run my own business. So I can do all things!
You don’t like the scripture in context; you prefer little quotes on Instagram. But let me help you understand what it really means. I can serve a family that doesn’t appreciate me the way I need to be appreciated because I know that God sees every time I get up and make those stinky kids' lunches and cut off the crust, and they just run out and tell me they want Chick-fil-A anyway. That sounds like a personal problem, but I can do it. Oh, but it’s hard to stay content when you’re studying comparison. When you’re studying and you’re stuck— I like that one! It’s hard to be content when you’re stuck in comparison. So today I’m going to let you know we’re uncuffing from comparison. Just in case, because I hear some people saying, «Well, I need to compare because that’s what allows me to make educated decisions. I need metrics, numbers, facts, and data.»
I understand that for your business and everything else, so write this down: God told me this on the way here, so I don’t even think they got it as a point. Watch this: if you have data, only use metrics to measure volume, not value. If you need numbers—how many Instagram likes, how much money did we make, how many people came? Okay, fine—use the metrics for what they were designed for: to measure the volume of what’s happening. But you can create something great that only two people appreciate, but it holds amazing value. Please do not confuse volume with value. Some of the greatest albums ever made have only been heard by a thousand people.
Some of the greatest books ever written are not on the New York Times bestseller list; they’re in somebody’s binder, and what I’m telling you is they aren’t even bound yet. Do not sum up the value because of the volume. I don’t know who I’m telling this to, but there are too many people in this Instagram, Facebook, TikTok, and LinkedIn age who have summed up their value because of low volume. I’m coming to set you free; you may not preach to ten thousand, but those five youth in the youth group that you pour into every week have value to God. I’m about to preach this thing! You may not be raising an army, but you’re raising two little kids by yourself and teaching them the ways of God. It has value. Tammy, what God has placed in you has value.
The project that God has given you has value. The movie may be shot on a camcorder, but I’m telling you just because it has low volume does not mean it’s not high value. That’s why you have to unplug from comparison because there’s a lot of trash that gets publicized. Oh, come on! There’s a lot of things that have metrics that mean nothing, and somehow, if we’re not solidly attached to our identity in Christ, we’ll start taking on the culture’s identity for success. Do you know what success is in the kingdom of God? Obedience! You missed it. It’s not about how big it gets; it’s not about how many people follow it. Do you know I was obedient when there were seven youth in the youth group?
Pastor Mike Todd, when did you become Pastor Mike Todd? When I said yes to God. Do you think I need man’s recognition to be affirmed and verified by God? It was my yes when nobody was looking that qualified me for the platforms I stand on today. If you want what I’ve got, you say yes where I said yes. This is what I’m telling you right now: that’s why we can’t go to those places. You have to be okay with your race and your lane. When God asks you to do something, you need to say yes. Success is not about volume; it’s about obedience. Oh, I feel something happening to me right now, and that’s why I need to tell you: everybody say, «I’m uncuffing from comparison.»
This whole section, y’all are mad at me already. Y’all are mad at me! Somebody say, «I’m uncuffing from comparison!» So write this down: people weren’t made for comparison, yet we are consumed by it. Parents, stop comparing your kids! Do you know how damaging it is for you to say, «Why won’t you be like your big brother?» You just took a Renoir and compared it to a Monet—those are two different masterpieces created by a master creator. It would not be wise to compare two things created and fashioned for different purposes, reasons, and at different times to the same standard. Yet you’re comparing your new husband to your last husband? You didn’t think I was going to say it! He didn’t even get a fair chance; he didn’t even get a clean slate because he came in and you said, «Well, I’ve never had to…» This is a new person.
Okay, let me stop; I feel a little anxiety rising in the room. Rashina, I feel it! All I’m saying to you right now is if we don’t unplug from this destructive engine of comparison, you will miss your calling by doing something you were never fashioned to do. Do you know how many people are working in fields right now that God has not given them any oil to be able to do that? That’s why they’re burning out! If you’ve ever seen a car, it needs oil to go through all the pressure. The reason you’re burning out is that there’s no oil on what you’re doing—no oil! You’re asking God and praying for Him to do something new in you, and He’s saying you need to change your engine!
Let me stop because the only reason you started doing that is because your best friend was going into that field, and you wanted to go to college with them. So you thought, «Well, I guess I could learn how to do that too.» You went to a place, and you aren’t even going to be friends three years from when you start this situation. Now you’re in a whole field where you have a knack for it, and you’re good at everything you do, so you actually excel. Then you’re told you can make six figures doing it. You spent 15 years of your life being fashioned for something that God is going to require you to give up if you’re ever going to reach your calling. Some of us are so stubborn that you wouldn’t leave that job if the Holy Spirit came down like a dove and said, «This is my child in whom I’m well pleased, and I need you to leave.»
You still wouldn’t because it’s the status, it’s the title—how am I going to leave being Doctor Doctor? Okay, you can be Doctor Whoever out of your calling; you can be Professor Whoever out of your calling; you can be CEO of… No, I ain’t working for nobody. Okay, can I say something? I know this world has told you that everybody’s not supposed to be an entrepreneur. You’re going to spend the rest of your life thinking you have the ministry. See, y’all don’t read your Bible. There’s such thing as the ministry of helps! There is the gift of administration—the gift—you can’t grow it to administrate! So God needs to connect you with somebody, and you need to be okay with not comparing yourself to someone else. Stay in your spot and do what God has called you to do because that’s where you fit.
I know not everybody’s going to tell you that, but not everyone is made to be an entrepreneur. You have all those t-shirts sitting in your closet that nobody wants. You have all those pens that nobody wants. We don’t want them; you give them away and they say, «Thank you!"—who’s helping me? Jesus! But culture will have you fooled, comparing yourself to people who made it doing that. And you’re thinking, «Well, I can do that,» and God’s saying, «I never called you to do that—stop being consumed by it!» Okay, Second Corinthians chapter 10, verse 12—this one whoops me right back: «For we dare not class ourselves or compare ourselves with those who commend themselves, but they measuring themselves by themselves and comparing themselves among themselves are not wise.» Comparison is not wise! This is God speaking through His word telling you, «Should I be comparing myself to them?»
Comparison is not wise. What’s the opposite of wise? Dumb! I’m going to use a good word: ignorant. Let me put it in a point that’s very in your face: comparison is an act of ignorance! If the Bible says it’s not wise to do, yet we’re consuming our lives comparing ourselves to their houses, neighborhoods, hairstyles, lengths, curl patterns, makeup, jawlines—oh yeah, I’m coming for you! —to their bodies and how they play drums, to how their kids act and how they eat. We’re comparing all this stuff, and the Bible says this is not wise, which makes it an act of ignorance. The next time you get on Instagram and start being mad because they’re on vacation, know that you are committing an act of ignorance. Y’all see where I am mentally right now? You’re not there; you’re at work. Where you need to be mentally is checked into this job and doing everything that you’ve been paid to do as unto the Lord. Let me stop; this is CEO talk right now. You’re making a TikTok, and what God is asking you to do is to be fully committed.
Now you’re posting a picture of yourself at the beach—you’re about to lose your job! You’re not going to the beach; you’re going to be driving to the gathering place talking about how you’re at the beach! Do you hear what I’m saying? Because you are so consumed in comparison that you are committing an act of ignorance. Some of you have siblings you’ve been comparing yourself to your whole life, and that’s why you get anxiety around the holidays. You feel like you have to show up with something new that you have to prove. Some of us make markers and goals set around who we will be around to prove that we’re enough.
Now, by Christmas, I gotta… and no, I ain’t messing with Thanksgiving this year because by Christmas, I gotta return home, and I gotta have a man. My sister was married at 22; my brother was married at 26; here I am at 35, in my wretched life. God, what are you doing with me? If it’s not your will for me to get married, Lord, just tell me! You’re doing all of this, and God is saying, «You’re so much in comparison, that when I send you the man or the woman, you won’t even recognize them because you have so many types that you’re comparing the person I have for you against, that you will dismiss what is supposed to help you become a part of your destiny because you’re comparing it to something you will never have.»
I just want to— I mean, I know I’m still working on my body, but he’s got to be, I mean, at least six-four. He ain’t got to be ripped, but he’s got to be toned. And you’re sitting over here looking like— never mind. But what I’m telling you is what if you measured yourself the way you measure other people? No, for real. What if you measured yourself? They’re always late. You were on time for this, but anything outside of this job, you don’t keep your commitments. The Bible doesn’t say only at your job. No, it says everywhere you go, let your yes be yes, and your no be no.
All I’m saying is there are some people listening to this who are feeling prideful and self-righteous right now, thinking, «I don’t compare myself to anybody.» But you are silently judging me. You have that Pharisee, Sadducee attitude. You don’t say anything out loud, but it’s all in your heart. You think you’re better than me. You think you’re better than them. You think somehow that your sin doesn’t stink, too. But what I came to tell you is that everything that’s in you is in me, and we’re all on this journey trying to figure out how to get sanctified and pure. And to do that, I can’t be looking at you. Don’t let comparison kill your calling, okay? Yeah, comparison is an act of ignorance.
Let’s just go to Hebrews 12. See, we always read this scripture, and I think we don’t ever see it in the light of us comparing ourselves to other people. We see it in light of like, «Oh, when we get to heaven,» because there is going to be such a great cloud of witnesses. But watch this: therefore, since we are surrounded by such a huge crowd of witnesses to the faith, you need to do something: let us strip off every weight—oh, comparison! No, no, it’s talking about sin. No, it’s going to address sin in a minute, but every weight that you carry is not a sin.
So, some of y’all—no, it’s not a sin to actually have a relationship with that person; it’s a weight. And God’s saying strip off the weight, not just the sin. We’re going to talk about the sin, but many times I can’t even address the sin until I address the weight. Oh God, and God’s literally saying to us, «I need you to address comparison, convenience, comfort,» not because they’re sins yet, but because they will turn into them. They’re not sins, everybody says, «Yeah!» But they are weights now, and some of you are so bogged down that God can’t put any burdens on you. You’re so weighed down with comparison that if God told you to do something nobody’s done, you don’t even have the faith to step out because you have so much—actually, you have the strength for it; you don’t have the space for it.
Somebody’s going to catch what I just said. God’s literally saying you have so much weight on you right now—comparison and convenience—and He says you would have to strip off that weight to be able to handle the burden that I will give you to change your community, to end sex trafficking, to be a person who stands up for justice, to be able to love the people around you. But you don’t have the space; but you still have the strength, because you’ve been carrying around comparison since you were six. Your spiritual calf muscles are huge. That means every time you get in front of people, you’re thinking, «What do they think of me?» It must be exhausting to go everywhere feeling this way. Can I tell you something that nobody’s probably told you? You look amazing; you’re doing good. You could be way worse, but you’re still here.
God has graced you with another day. He’s still standing with you; He wants you to succeed. As long as there’s breath in your body, there is purpose in your life; you are valuable. But all that can be said, and if you still don’t believe it, have you ever tried to give someone a compliment who didn’t believe it? And it’s literally like they say, water off a duck’s back. I don’t know if you’ve ever seen water fall off a dog’s back, but they have this next-level design that God gave them, and literally you can see them go down and come up, and all the beads of water roll off—they will be completely dry. That’s how some of you are; it’s not that you don’t have people around you encouraging you—we’re here—you just don’t know how to receive it. It’s because you’ve been bound to comparison. Oh my God, that’s the whole reason you got married. You were trying to create a picture you saw instead of marrying somebody for the purpose that God showed you.
Okay, let me step back because I felt that. I felt the anger. It says, «Let us strip off every weight that slows us down.» And then it addresses sin, especially the sin that so easily trips us up. And this is the thing about running in your lane: let all of us run with endurance the race God has set before us. Do not run someone else’s race. Do not run somebody else’s race. Why do I do that with all of the things that are going on? It works for them; God, you’re not speaking to me. I don’t know how to do this. There are so many things to focus on. How did you—keep reading in the Bible. We do this by keeping our eyes on who? Jesus. The champion! He has already won every race you’re going to be in. He’s the champion who initiates. He says, «Ready, set, go!»
He brings you into the game, and He’s the one standing at the finish line. He initiates and perfects our faith because of the joy that was awaiting Him. He did this; He endured the cross, disregarding the shame. Now, He’s seated in the place of honor beside God’s throne. This is the thing I want to let you know. We can’t compare because we have our own lane, our own set of rules, and our own expectations. And God is sitting in the grandstands of Heaven saying, «Just run your race.» Why? Because I put it there! This lane was not established by your parents; this lane was not established by your professor; this lane was not established by some celebrity or a life coach.
The lane God called you to run is the lane I put in front of you. Run that race! Your joy is in that race. Your blessing is in that race. Your peace is in that race. Your rest is in that race. Your efficiency is in that race. Your family being whole is in that race! When you step outside of that and run someone else’s race because it looks good, you step out of the grace for your race. Okay? And do you know the quickest way to devalue something? It’s to compare it to something else. You loved your stuff until you saw their stuff. But nobody’s shoes are better than your shoes until they came out with a new pair!
And Holy Spirit, help me communicate everything that’s in my heart right now, because if I could just get you to do one thing, I would get you to uncuff from comparison, because then it would allow you the space to uncuff from comfort and convenience. But right now, you’re worried about what they’re doing. And what they’re doing is everyone watching this series, okay then, I’ll watch it. We might be in cuffing season. God’s telling you to go back and watch «Expect Effect.» Well, that’s not where everybody else is! I didn’t ask you all that. I didn’t ask you what everybody else is doing. I said stop comparing yourself. Somebody say, «I gotta stop comparing this masterpiece.» Say it one more time, «I gotta stop comparing this masterpiece!» This is the most faithful thing you’ve said in a long time! Say it with faith: «I gotta stop comparing this masterpiece!»
Has anybody ever had a toothache before? Now, I don’t know, for everybody who has not had a toothache, go to the dentist and keep brushing your teeth—my mama said that, right? There is no pain in this world—oh my God, I got emotional—there is no pain in this world like a toothache, especially a toothache when you don’t have dental insurance. And the toothache when you’re broke? Ain’t nothing like that pain. Some of y’all get those toothaches and think, «Oh, I’m going to call Jim tomorrow and go get—» there was a season in my life where there were only two options: stay with the pain or yank that tooth out. Those were my only two options! Oh, excuse me, I got too real for you.
I remember telling you we’re a real church here: progression, not perfection. Alright? I remember having tooth pain that was so bad it had me outside with my shirt off, towel over my head, screaming in my neighborhood like this. Oh, my neighbors came outside and said, «Are you okay?» I said, «I’m just doing some exercise, yoga practice.» Y’all, this hurt more than anything I’ve ever experienced, and a toothache is the only thing that will really make a grown man cry. You can literally be sitting there—oh, Oragel doesn’t work anymore. My father-in-law had me gargling whiskey. I was like, «I’m about to just drink it because I need to be drunk right now!» My whole mouth was on fire; they couldn’t see me for another week and a half.
Oh, it messes with your attitude—you can’t eat nothing. They ask you for things; your whole body still works except your tooth, but you think that nothing else works. «Can you lift that?» «Yo, wrong music!» When I finally went to the dentist, I realized what happened is that there was a cavity that ate away at the foundation of my tooth so much so that it hit a nerve. Now, you ain’t never experienced your body go into immediate paralysis until something hits that! Okay, okay? Now, I want to bring this back to comparison because there’s a progression of comparison.
Comparison always starts with a cavity: something that’s missing. It could have been words people spoke over you; it could have been things that you saw that you knew you weren’t. And there was a hole created by this world, and now you are at the place where it can hit a nerve. That’s why when you’re scrolling and you see certain stuff, you’re like, «What did that hit?» That’s why you can go to certain places and see certain types of people, and they remind you of other types of people. You don’t even know them, but they remind you of people who hurt you, and it hits a nerve. Okay? And I need everybody to see this: comparison always starts with the cavity.
A hole, something that you feel like needs to be filled, but it’s not filled, so you start looking at other things to fill this hole that only Christ was meant to fill. And that’s why, when I say comparison comes after there’s a cavity, it’s because if you like yourself, nobody can mess with you about yourself. Like, whatever area you’re super confident in, you have God’s grace in, and you feel confident in that area, nobody can mess with you in that. It’s the places where there’s a cavity; and that’s why I’m asking you: where are the cavities? Where are the holes? Where are the spaces in your life that the enemy has been filling up with comparison—that it’s only hitting more nerves and hurting you deeper?
You were fine with your house until you saw the house next door. You were fine with your car—you prayed for that car, you anointed that car with two quarts of oil every day and prayed in the spirit; it helped your devotional life until you saw that car. You were good with your wife until it’s that time of the month and they’re giving you compliments at the water cooler. You were fine with your kids until they became teenagers! Okay, let me just stop. So, the progression is this: it starts with a cavity, but write this down—a cavity becomes comparison.
So, there’s such a place you can get with a cavity—do you have a picture of a cavity? I don’t know if some of these people have ever seen a cavity. Somebody said no—I could just open some of your mouths and we could see it! But if—okay, so I gave them the PG-rated version of a cavity right there. There’s a cavity, and going down into that black part is where it can hit a nerve. Okay? The reason the cavity is even there is that they were tasting or eating something that wasn’t good for their teeth. Nobody gets cavities eating lettuce!
If you brush your teeth and you eat greens, chicken, and fish, you don’t get cavities. It’s when you put sugar—when you get things that your flesh likes and craves and desires more of—when you put that in your mind, those are the things that create cavities. And cavities can go to such a place where it hits a nerve that they can’t fill the tooth anymore. Now, some of y’all know about this, but what ends up happening is they say the nerve has been exposed too long, and what we’re going to have to do is we’re going to have to kill the nerve. And at the moment of pain, you don’t care—"Murder that nerve! Murder it!»
Now, what they don’t tell you at the point where you make this impulse decision because you don’t want to feel the pain anymore is the effect that that space now has on all your other teeth! Take out one of your teeth—just one—and watch how your teeth do the Dougie all around your cup! I’m not even playing! Then those teeth start moving! And then they don’t—watch me!
Look at yourself. By removing something that hurt in the moment because the nerve was exposed, you’ve now opened yourself up to a whole other set of problems. What are you saying? Comparison doesn’t just come with comparison; it leads to coveting. Okay, I know these are big words we don’t use in 2022, but they’re throughout the Bible. Coveting goes to comparison, and comparison turns into coveting. Now, coveting is a sin. This is why it says it’s not wise to compare, because you’re one step away from coveting. Why would you be close to sin when you could be far away in contentment? You can either live content, or you can have coveting, or you can live in comparison, or you can live in coveting.
And God says, «I want my children to be all the way over here: content.» God, if this is what you’re giving me right now, I’m not comparing. I’m not comparing with them. I’m going to stay right here. Yes, get married. Yes, have a successful business. Yes, kids are beautiful. Yes, and still be good! My marriage still needs work but can still be good. I’m not the weight I want to be but can still be good. See, y’all, I’m trying to teach you. Everybody say, «contentment.» Some of you are so mad right now because you don’t know anything else except comparing yourself.
Even when you win, it’s not a win until it’s better than somebody else’s win. You don’t even celebrate what you did in case someone else did something great. It takes away your thunder, takes away your fire. It’s like it doesn’t count until it’s somebody else’s birthday. How do y’all know that everybody has birthdays on your birthday? And the more people you know, the more likely it is that there will be multiple people with birthdays on the same day. I met someone who was so mad that it was somebody else’s birthday on their special day, and they literally let what that person did for their 30th birthday ruin something they had been looking forward to for the entire year. It’s because they started—everybody say, «Write this down: coveting!» Yeah, comparison becomes coveting.
and look at Exodus 20:17. You shall not covet your neighbor’s house—it’s so specific! This is so nasty; I love the Bible! You shall not stop going through the neighborhood saying, «How did they get here?» You may not say it out loud, but you feel it in your heart. Don’t covet their house. You shall not covet your neighbor’s wife. Stop looking at your friend’s wife, wishing you had met her first. We’re the close camera. Give me a call; they need to see my face! Bring the camera right here! Stop looking at your friend’s husband, wishing you had a night to show him how a real woman treats a man. Oh, I know what’s in your heart! You’re watching all these shows that reinforce this idea—the «Sex and the City» idea.
And I ain’t gonna name too many shows because I know y’all are watching, but I’m just gonna tell you that idea has you in sin. You are coveting things that God did not give you, and you’re neglecting the thing that would be your good thing if you actually put effort into it. The grass is not greener on the other side; it’s greener where you water it. And I’m telling you, husbands and wives, you need to stop saying, «I wish you would do something like that for me,» or «I wish you would…» You need to stop doing that, and you will reap what you sow. Some of you are waiting for somebody to go first, and faith goes first. Faith says, «I’m gonna be the one to do it. I’m gonna say sorry; I’m gonna plan date night!»
Well, I’m just sick of giving! Jesus wasn’t sick of giving to you; He gave everything to you. And it is the season and time for us to stop comparing. Let me stop! You shall not covet your neighbor’s house; you shall not covet your neighbor’s wife, his male servants, or his female servants, or his ox, or his donkey, or anything that belongs to your neighbor. Coveting is a sin. This is one of the Ten Commandments; it ranks up there with «Thou shalt not murder.» Thou shalt not compare yourself to the point where you want what they have. We don’t say it like that, but it’s that raw in the Bible! Don’t cheat on your wife; don’t cheat on your husband. Don’t want what they have; be content with what you possess. And I know someone’s thinking, «But is there a problem with wanting more?»
No! Want more of what God wants for you, but not more of what they have! Because when people come into the equation, you’re not supposed to be comparing. God’s saying, «Would you let me give you your lane so you can run your race and get your life back?» You’re not living when you’re comparing. It is literally an exercise in frustration to look at everything God’s given you and to look at something that God’s given other people and devalue what God’s placed in your hand. What I’m trying to tell you right now is it’s time to get uncuffed from comparison so you can actually live and have a joyful, faith-filled life that is content with what God has placed in your hands. Because all you have is all you need.
What’s in your hands right now? Look at your hands! Just look at them; put them out like this. There are things, children, influences, ideas, cures, solutions, love, joy, administration, health—there are things that God has placed in your hands that He has never coded for anybody else in this world but you! And comparison is robbing not just you; it’s robbing all of us of the truest, greatest version you are supposed to be. Today I’m asking you to uncuff from comparison. I feel the Spirit right there! Oh, and you know this is not just an age thing; don’t act like because you’re over the age of 60 you don’t care anymore. Yeah, you still got that crease in all your jeans—there must be a dry cleaner’s involved all the time!
Let me stop you. You desire to be presented and looked at in a certain way. We all have our things, and God’s saying just uncover! Because if it goes from a cavity… Well, let me just say it like this: we all started out content. Like, when you come into this world, it doesn’t take much to satisfy you—food and a changed diaper. You’re not looking at other babies like, «What are you eating, Demarcus? What kind of milk do you have over there, Trevor? What does white milk taste like? What does chocolate milk taste like? What does Hispanic milk taste like?» Don’t nobody care! They are content with what they get! We learn comparison. We are teaching our kids comparison. «How y’all? I’m just trying to tell you something that’s killing us! We literally talk about not going to that church this Sunday because their worship isn’t right. You literally put it on the next generation to choose a church based on the worship style you like, rather than whether you’re called there to help, serve, and become who God’s called you to be! If the worship isn’t right, they may need you!»
I ain’t going there because… That’s the problem! You don’t want to be a solution when that’s who God created you to be? But I’m comparing? What are y’all doing? This is why we can’t stay content. If we were taught comparison, now we have a cavity, and then we end up in covetousness. I want to say this: sin—coveting and any sin we have over here—is an illegitimate response to a legitimate need. I’m going to say it again: sin is not this crazy thing you chase; you actually need to be whole. So anytime you sin, it is an illegitimate response to a legitimate need. You need peace, so what you start doing is relying on sleeping pills and things that cannot fill you up. You do things that cause you to sin, but it’s because you actually need peace. You want love? That is a legitimate need, but laying down with everybody is not going to give you that! It’s an illegitimate response to a legitimate need.
I just want to let everybody know that if you keep messing up, what you need is real; where you get it from is wrong. You’re not a bad person; you’re human! And that’s why I’m telling you right now that the reason we have to stop comparing is because we’ve got to get it from the right source. James chapter 4, verse 2 says, «You want what you don’t have, so you scheme and kill to get it. You are jealous of what others have, but you can’t get it, so you fight and wage war to take it away from them. Yet you don’t have what you want because you don’t ask God for it.»
That is some potent Bible right there, God! Stop trying to get it without me; come to me! You want a home that can entertain people, not a home just because they have a home! You want a home to facilitate healing for people! Come ask me! God is saying: you want to be effective in ministry and learn more; come ask me! You want your children raised in the admonition of God and able to love Jesus all the rest of their lives while you’re raising them in a world where Snapchat is taking over? Come ask me! I’ll teach you! But you got what you don’t want, and you can’t have it because you’re asking the wrong person. You ever been at a restaurant asking the wrong person for help? What do you say when they can’t help you?
«Let me speak to the manager!» And if the manager can’t help, you say, «Let me speak…» I’m trying to go as far up the chain as I can because somebody has the authority to change my situation! God is saying, «Stop going to all these people who do not have the authority to change your situation. Ask me for it!» Verse 3: And even when you ask, uh-oh! You don’t get it because your motives are wrong. You want only what gives you pleasure! You adulterers! Don’t you realize that friendship with the world makes you an enemy of God? I’ll say it again: if you want to be a friend of the world, you make yourself an enemy of God. This is all leading out of us wanting and desiring things that God said, «That ain’t in your lane!»
So be content with what I gave you. Let me put it in perspective: comparison is human but not holy or helpful. I want to acknowledge it’s human! Oh, when you get older, it’s like, «Ah, their car, their body, their calling, their platform…» I just want to be able to do like that. But the true problem is it’s human, but it’s not holy, and it’s not helping you! And that’s why I look at the story of the Prodigal Son, and I’ve called it «Two Cuffed Brothers.» Y’all know the story in Luke 15, where there was one brother who said, «Yo, Daddy! Give me all my inheritance! I’m going out to turn up!» And he goes, «I want it now!» Daddy gives him the inheritance. He goes out, turns up for a little while, loses everything that Dad provided for him; it was by grace that he had anything in the first place. Jesus is telling this parable. He literally goes and squanders it, and he’s like, «Ah, I’m gonna live out here in the world like everybody else.»
This man finds himself in a pig pen, looking at what pigs eat. If you know anything about farming, pigs eat anything—excuse me—everything that’s trash, scraps, anything they can feast on! You put it in a trough, and they just eat! This man had gotten so low in his life, having such a big cavity, comparing himself to the people out there, that it robbed him of his calling and his identity as a child of royalty! So much so that he is in that state looking at what the pigs are eating, wondering, «What does it taste like?»
The crazy thing is we look at this story and don’t see ourselves, but many of us have been in positions where we’re taking things. Oh, what’s the name of this series? Cuffing Season! What is Cuffing Season? It’s when you settle for something less than the standard because of isolation. This man was isolated, and he had devalued his situation; now he’s looking at trash like it’s good. He has an idea: «Let me go back to my father’s house.» And we know the story: the prodigal goes back. Daddy’s like, «Is that my boy?» He’s waiting for him; he goes out there every day trying to see if he’s coming home. God doesn’t wait until you get right; you start making a step toward Him, and He’s running after you with grace! He says, «Get the ring; get the robe; get new shoes! My boy is back! Y’all better get ready to play the biggest party tonight! We’re celebrating because he was lost, but now he’s found!»
We love this story because it’s most of our stories. But there’s another brother, and we just leave him to the side. We always talk about the brother who came back to God, but I want us to visit him for just five minutes to figure out if this brother was cuffed to comparison. Luke 15:25–32: Meanwhile, the older brother was in the field. When he came near to the house, he heard music and dancing. What the—? So he called one of the servants and asked him, «What is going on?» «Your brother has come home!» he replied, «and your father has killed the fattened calf because he has him back safe and sound. The older brother became angry, and he refused to go in.»
Why? Because he was comparing what he had done with what his prodigal brother had done! That quick, y’all! It didn’t even take two seconds for him to put himself against his brother and compare, and look what it did! Write this point down: Comparison keeps you out of rooms you were supposed to go in. Oh, that’s nasty! This man had a seat right next to his Daddy and his brother. Because he looked at what he had done and what he thought his brother didn’t deserve—and what this person didn’t deserve in their business, and what this church didn’t deserve, and people who come from backgrounds like that don’t deserve, and people with that skin color don’t deserve—because he did it that quickly, he became angry and stayed out of a room that he was supposed to be in!
I just want to tell you that if you are cuffed to comparison, you have taken your name off of seats that God had already pre-marked for you! You keep comparing to them; you’re supposed to help them! The reason I had to uncuff from comparison is that my next connection was through somebody I was comparing myself to! And God said, «I can’t give you the next thing because that’s the vehicle I’m gonna use! If you see them as an enemy and you see them as someone that makes you feel devalued, you’ll never show up fully to what I’ve called you to do! So you need to celebrate them instead of comparing yourself to them, because that’s your next level, many people are trapped in comparison!»
You might be sitting outside a room, pounding your fists because you believe you should be leading in the church, but you didn’t recognize my… okay, that’s why I’m going to… okay, three years from now, you’ll be the CEO, but you won’t start by apologizing for what you did that was wrong. Well, if they had never been, I wouldn’t… no, no, no, no, that’s not maturity in Christ. Okay, can I give you another point that I saw right there? Because it says in that verse, «The older brother became angry.» Everybody say «angry.» He refused to go in. So, comparison keeps you out of rooms you’re supposed to enter. But this is the other thing it does: it makes you emotionally irate that quickly. He got angry, and being emotionally irate leads to isolation. That quick comparison—boom! He thinks, «What I need to do is stay out on an island and isolate,» and this shows the ignorance of comparison. He thinks, «They’ll know that I don’t approve of this. I don’t get down like that; ain’t nobody going to mess me up like that.» But, oh yeah, we know. The truth of the matter is people who are really enjoying the party don’t even care what you’re doing.
Can I tell you something? I’ve been off Instagram for six months, and nobody noticed. That’s why you have to announce it when you leave and when you come back. We don’t even know you’re mad and angry and frustrated, and we don’t care! Because when you’re consistently focused on your calling, it is very difficult to keep up with people who… because of why? You don’t even know. The dad thought he would be excited about the party. The brother probably wanted to see his brother, but because he got emotionally irate, he isolated himself, angry about something nobody knows he’s mad about. Half the things that upset you are things you won’t talk about, and people experience the distance but don’t know what’s wrong. They don’t realize they hurt you. I mean, yeah, if you put all the clues together, they could figure it out, but the truth is they are dealing with their own insecurities. Nobody’s paying attention to details.
«On March 28, you called, but you didn’t return my phone call.» «And still, on April 6, I saw you at the store, but you acted like you didn’t know me.» «And then in May, I see you.» «Baby, could you just tell me, 'Hey, I’ve been feeling a distance in our relationship, and it’s made me feel different'? I saw that you posted about going to another friend’s birthday party, and I started comparing that relationship to ours.» «I just wanted to know, is everything okay with us?» Two sentences from them could turn everything that’s been comparing you into something that brings it right back together, but pride will keep you outside the room.
«How are you doing? How are you doing? You’re not coming in.» No. Some of you have been like that for decades—decades!
Okay, look at the grace of the father. Luke 15:28 says, «So his father went out and pleaded with him.» There’s something about God coming to find you. I don’t know if you’ve ever had that happen, but like, when your dad knows you’re not there, he thinks, «You should be here by now! You should have answered the call by now! You should be leading by now!» «She should be here, using the gifts I gave her by now.»
«By now, she should be helping!» «Where is…? I’ll be right back! Y’all keep turning up. Hey, boy! What are you doing? Why are you outside? I sent them to tell you your brother’s home! We’ve got a party all week! I’ve got a special seat for you! I’ve got a purpose for you! I’ve got a calling for you! Now, the plan I have for you and your brother together can happen.»
«Everything I built was for your legacy.» «It took both of you to do what I planned to do.»
«When he walked away, you shouldn’t be competing; you should be completing.» «I’ve got something for both of you to do.»
«Verse 29: 'Dad, all these years I’ve been slaving for you, and you’ve never given me even one young goat so that I could celebrate with my friends! '»
Watch! If you don’t catch anything else I say, please catch this: comparison makes you a slave and not a son. Did you see it in the scripture? He literally said, «All these years I’ve been slaving for you.» Comparison had jacked up his perspective so much that he didn’t see himself as an heir working toward something he would one day take over. He knows his dad has enough to give inheritances, and he knew he was the only one who stayed and obeyed. He admits it!
But because of his own perspective, and being shackled to comparison, he saw himself as a slave and not a son. And my question to you today, in light of all God’s grace and mercy, is: Are you a slave or are you a son? Nobody can make you a son except the father. God has been telling you: «I love you! I’m pleased with you! I’ve got a plan for you! I made you a masterpiece!» And you’re still listening to the comparison of culture.
God’s saying: «Your DNA—it’s my DNA! When you gave your life to me, you became a new creature! I made you a joint heir with my Son, Jesus! That’s your elder brother! Why in the world are you settling for the title of slave when I’ve called you a son or daughter? Cut from loyalty, somebody who’s supposed to stand in any sphere and represent my name wherever I am!»
You are not a slave! Somebody needs to receive that! Lift your hands right now; I pray the spirit of spiritual slavery off of your people right now! Oh, I feel that! In the name of Jesus, I pray that your children would see themselves as heirs. Father, I thank you that this whole kingdom being established is to lift your name and give us dominion on the earth.
I pray right now that every wrong thought process, every perspective, every pain, every hurt, and every trauma that has robbed us of our royal identity is being restored in your presence right now! And we would stand up no longer as slaves but as sons and daughters of the Most High God!
In Jesus' name, if you receive it, go ahead and give our Father, our Abba… Oh, come on, somebody in the back just got it! If you’re going to be a son or daughter, if you’re going to know your identity, imagine Prince Harry and Prince William walking around begging for something—it wouldn’t happen! Why? Because they know their identity!
Yeah, Luke 15:30. We’re almost done here. Can I have five more minutes? Y’all, can we finish this up? Okay.
Luke 15:30: «He’s mad! He said, 'Yet you never let me have one young goat so I could celebrate with my friends! '» Comparison! «But when this son of yours has squandered your property with prostitutes…» He was keeping tabs—comparison always knows details! «You worked real hard; you had to pinch that picture all the way in. Y’all know how y’all be! Is that Jerome in the background? I see you with prostitutes!»
And he comes home, and you kill the fattened calf, and you still show him grace and mercy, and you still celebrate him!
Watch this: comparison paralyzes your perspective and convinces you to live below your privilege. When you compare, he’s literally comparing himself to the brother who lost his inheritance, and he still has his! We never think about it! He’s been living beneath his privilege the entire time! He could have had a goat every day of the week, but his dad doing it for somebody else was the first time he had the perspective to see that he might have had permission.
The reason you have to run in your lane is that there are things you’re praying for that you already have permission for, but you don’t even ask about, think about, see, or want until somebody else has it! And God says, «Now I can’t give it to you because it’s coming from the wrong motives!»
But if you would just say, «God, enlarge my territory! Let me see me bigger! Let me see what you placed in my hands.» You don’t have to do it for anybody else, but show it to me! Give me the dream! Give me the vision! Give me the idea! Let me be the one that you enlarge their stakes!
Don’t let me just want it because they’ve got it! Show me! Oh, I felt that! Somebody say, «Show me, God! Show me what’s for me! Show me how you want me to live! Show me how you want me to bless! Show me how you want me to learn! Show me how you want me to be your hands and feet on this earth!»
I came to tell some people you already have permission for things God has placed in your hands, but you’re so busy looking at what everybody else is doing that you don’t even want it until they’ve got it! Oh my God! I wish the dad would have asked, «Have you ever asked me for a goat before? You could have had a goat every week! You’ve never made that a request!»
If you were to suggest a goat instead of taco Tuesday—if we didn’t go to taco Tuesday, you could have had a goat every week! But it wasn’t until you saw my grace on somebody else that it made you think I was less of a father for doing it for them and not for you!
I’m trying to help you right now! God’s view of you is messed up by how you see yourself! God hasn’t changed, but you think He has because He gave somebody else something to show His grace that you could have had every day of the week, but you just never asked for it!
Oh God, I’m in heavy water now! I feel like I’m sinking over here! All I’m telling you right now is this man’s perspective was paralyzed by comparison, and he was living below his privilege.
Verse 31: The Father speaking to all of us: «My son, my daughter, you are always with me, and everything I have is yours!» I just need to stop there and let you know God’s saying to you: «My son, my daughter, you are always with me, and everything I have—love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, gentleness, self-control—everything I have, prophecy, the ability to interpret dreams, the ability to speak in tongues, the ability to steward gifts, every gift available to fulfill your calling—you’ve always been with me! You’ve got everything you need because you have me!»
The real statement is: all you have is all you need because you have God! It’s not just that all you have is all you need. There’s stuff I don’t have! Except when I put it in view of God, everything I need, I have!
He said, «But we had to celebrate!» This is why we celebrate one person giving their life to Christ! Like, do you know—like they told me this morning—15,500 people got saved in 2022! Oh, y’all better help me celebrate online and in this building! I said, «15,500 people gave their lives; they came home!» Glory to God! That’s the vision of this church: transformation in Christ!
But the crazy thing is it’s hard for some people to celebrate! Because you see the transformation in somebody else’s life, it makes you feel like God could do more in your life! See, that’s why we have to be uncuffed from comparison!
He said, «We had to celebrate and be glad because this brother of yours…» Wow, he didn’t just say «my son has returned!» He said, «This has something to do with you! Every child of God that wins is a win for this family! Every kingdom business, every kingdom family… the reason I’m celebrating Osbee’s weight loss is because that’s a win for the whole kingdom! The reason I’m celebrating—oh, come on—another year of life for my brother Brenton is 'cause that’s a win for the whole kingdom!
The reason I’m celebrating 42 years of ministry for Bishop and Pastor Debbie is because when you put your hands together for somebody else, it still affects you! He said, „This brother of yours…“
That’s why I started claiming other people’s blessings! My friends get a new house! We got a new house! You don’t even know how to celebrate! I bring Welches to the party! „I got a new house! That means we got a new house! It’s another place I can lay my head!“
If—oh God, y’all don’t even understand! When Transformation Church wins, the body of Christ wins! We gave over $8 million away last year! Y’all don’t want to celebrate with me! But when—y’all don’t hear me! You should be! Every time we give a hundred thousand dollars to a church, you should be shouting because you might be next! Oh my God, I’m going to have to do a whole week on celebration, Don, because we have lost the art of celebrating if it doesn’t immediately impact us! So we had to celebrate because your brother was dead and now he’s alive again! He was lost and now he is found!
The most important part of this whole thing: look at this: comparison always kills compassion for people! You will not have compassion if you’re stuck in comparison! The very people you’re measuring yourself against, which is an act of ignorance according to the Bible, are the same people you’re called to help. About five years ago, I stopped criticizing celebrities—they don’t even make sense. I knew at some point God was going to elevate my influence to a place where people who don’t know me, don’t know where I live, and don’t know how I serve would be able to give their opinions about things they have no idea about. I took it a step further. Some of you have been here on Monday night prayers; I’ll pray for celebrities—I’ll call out their names and begin to intercede for them.
The reason I started doing that was that I began receiving calls from people you would know, saying, „Hey man, I see how you handle yourself, and it just seems real. I’m going through a situation; I just need you to pray for me.“ There’s no way God would trust those people with me if I were still comparing myself to others. God is a loving Father; He’s not going to send His masterpiece into the hands of crooked people who are only looking for what they can get from the situation. The reason God has trusted me with some people who may be in this valley of decision is that they need to be compelled to Christ, like all of us. Just because you have money doesn’t mean you have everything.
How are you killing yourself with pills and Xanax when you have $25 million in the bank? You can have four houses but no home. What God told me is that the reason I needed to change your heart and stop comparing yourself is that you cannot have compassion for someone with whom you are comparing. The very people that some of you need to forgive require that you stop comparing yourself to them first. That family member, that sibling—let me mention one that’s powerful: that parent. „I’m nothing like my mama!“ But she helped to raise you; those are core memories. You need to forgive them, but every time you discipline your kids or someone tries to tell you something or do something, you’re so consumed with comparison to what you don’t like about them or your dad that you won’t even have the compassion to see them as human.
I want to give us the chance to break free from comparison and ask God to come in and work on our hearts. You can’t help someone you’re hating on; you’ll never serve anyone you don’t see. You won’t give to people when you’re holding a grudge, and you won’t free anyone you’re ready to fight. This is why we must break free from comparison. Caleb, come out here; I could preach for another two hours. I have too many notes! I hope this is hitting your heart today because it’s coming for you as soon as you leave this service. Some of you are being attacked right now. You need to take a break from Instagram and Facebook; you’re feeding the beast. You can’t even be happy about the apartment you prayed for. You asked God to give you the down payment for that apartment, and He blessed you with a bed and a comforter.
Now, because you’ve seen someone who isn’t even in a house—they’re a real estate broker taking a video of somewhere they don’t live—you’re feeling down. One thing I can’t stand, and this isn’t even spiritual, is when you go to high-end stores, like Louis Vuitton or Gucci. Have you ever had the salespeople act like they own the store? I look at them like, „You work here!“ But for some reason, just being in the atmosphere of wealth, they size you up and down, judging what you’re wearing, and they won’t give you service.
Oh, y’all don’t hear me—they won’t serve you because they don’t know who your Father is. It’s crazy how we often act like the person not receiving service, but in many cases, we are the ones judging others and comparing ourselves to them because they haven’t been saved that long; they’re baby Christians. What an arrogant, pompous stance to take for someone who was once in that same spot—it’s almost like saying, „I can’t associate with baby Christians.“ But what you’re proving to us is that you’re not like Jesus, who was drawn to the least of these: „Let the children come; let the broken come.“ I’m not comparing myself to them; I’m compassionate toward them.
Here are three very simple ways to kill comparison—write them down and let’s go home. The easiest way to kill comparison is through constant celebration. Start cheering for everything! Celebrate! Send that extra text—don’t just like it on social media. „Hey, I saw you’re having a baby! I wanted to let you know I acknowledge you’re struggling with infertility. God’s giving you a great opportunity to see miracles and also to be content in the season you’re in.“ Celebrate every person you can who has what you desire until your heart is purified to the point where it’s not even fake; it’s real. When I see my friends in ministry getting new buildings and doing well, I literally celebrate and send texts. Why? Because I know what it’s like to believe God. I’m not saying, „Well, when’s God going to do it again for us?“ No! Everybody say, „Constant celebration kills comparison.“
The second thing, if you want to kill comparison: be confident in your calling. I have come to the conclusion that I will never be T.D. Jakes, I’ll never be Joel Osteen, I’ll never be Stephen Furtick, and I’ll never be some of my favorite preachers in the world. That used to bother me because I wanted the same impact and outcome, but I would have spent my whole life living in a façade, hoping to get something that’s not even for me because I was in the wrong lane. So, I decided I’m going to be me; I’m going to show up everywhere as myself. I promise you, when I went to the PGA tournament the other day, I don’t know how many of you have been to country clubs, but it’s a completely different environment.
Everybody’s dressed like they’re playing golf—except those few people who actually are. I have so many funny stories from that trip. I went with two of my buddies who dressed like they were playing golf too, and I was like, „Are y’all playing?“ All they wore was different apparel—me? I was in Jordan ones and a big chain. I was possibly the only person in that country club wearing Jordans, but I was completely comfortable being myself. When I walked in, comparison tried to jump on me. I walked in there, and I saw people looking at me in that bright-colored shirt, which had all these designs. I liked that shirt! Everyone else was in muted colors—pink and blue—but I loved my shirt. As soon as I walked in, God said, „Show up here like you show up everywhere.“ So I started interacting with everyone! By the end of that experience, I had almost met Tiger Woods. I know he saw me in that shirt! When I left, I felt like I was myself, unhindered by comparison.
I’m asking you to show up everywhere God calls you to be as you. Does that mean He won’t keep working on you? No! Because some of you are stubborn. I’m going to have to talk about that another time. This has been you for 14 years. God never leaves anything He loves the same; there should be progression, not perfection.
Okay, you got it? But be confident in your calling. The last thing—how to kill comparison: compare only to Christ. There’s only one person to measure yourself against, the only standard: Jesus. That’s the whole reason God sent Him. They needed a standard, a playbook, a measuring stick—could you give that to them? Jesus lived 33 years without sin. I know it’s tough, but He showed them how to deal with adversity, how to handle trouble, how to submit to authority, and how to deal with life. So forever, I can direct them to this Bible and allow them to compare only themselves to Him. Remember what the scripture says? „We need to keep our eyes on the One who started and will finish our faith.“
Let me put it this way, and then we’ll go home: Christ should be our only comparison—not to see how far we are, but to see how close we are getting. Let me say that again: Christ should be our only comparison—not to see how far we are, but to see how close we are getting. Every step of faith, every right decision, every temptation we ignore, every confession we make, every time we lift up our hands, every time we say, „I’m sorry,“ we look up to Jesus. We shouldn’t have the perspective of, „Oh God, I’m so far off.“ Don’t look at it like that, like that brother living below his privilege. Look at it from the perspective of a son: „I’m getting closer, God! I’m getting closer!“ You’re not that far away. Five years ago, we were way back there, and I’m not yet where I want to be, but I’m getting there. Hands lifted all over:
Father, I thank You for uncuffing us from comparison. Thank You for being the Most High God. All over this world today, we are deciding we will no longer be slaves but will be sons and daughters. Receive that. Say, „I’m no longer a slave to fear; I am a child of God.“ Sing it out a few times: „I’m no longer a slave to fear; I am a child of God.“ Just one more time: „I’m no longer a slave to fear; I am…“ What’s the next part? Destiny, receive this right now. Thank You, Lord!
Listen—if you’ve been bound to comparison in any area of your life, I want you to do something right now. I want you to stand to your feet and take a step of faith. Stand to your feet—yes, all over! Whether you’re at home or at your cubicle and your co-workers may be looking at you, just act like you’re stretching; it’s okay! Just lift your hands and say, „I’m no longer a slave. I am…“ I feel Your presence!
Father, I thank You for uncuffing us right now. I’m no longer… Yes, something’s happening for your home, your mind, your perspective. With hands lifted, let me pray for you: Father, I thank You for every person that has admitted they’ve been bound to comparison. Today, would You fill the void created when we were children, when we moved to that city, or maybe from our parents not being there, or from damaged relationships? God, I thank You for healing the empty spaces so there is no room for comparison. For every person that has been coveting, God, I pray for all of us to return to a spirit of contentment. Let’s pray for that, Father; thank You for a spirit of contentment rising inside Your church. Thank You, Father God, that where we are is not where we will always be, but let us recognize that here is holy. There’s something You can do here, and You can get the glory here. You can move in our spirits and prepare us for what’s next right here. Father, let us no longer be slaves to comparison, but let us accept who we are as sons and daughters. Let us be content with Your love today! Let it change the way we act, talk, walk, and even wake up. Let us have compassion for others because we’re no longer comparing ourselves to them. Let us be wise and stop comparing. I pray You’re uncuffing Your children today. Marriages are getting stronger; families are coming together. Father, I declare businesses will find joy again. Thank You for bringing us to a place of contentment; we let You do whatever You want in us. God, we accept being children of God. In Jesus' name.
So I’m singing that song, there are people who have yet to commit to being children of God. You haven’t given your life to Him; your name has not changed. Today, I want to invite you into the family—a bunch of brothers and sisters you don’t have to compare yourself to. We’ve all been in the pigpen in some area of our lives, and we are going to celebrate you. You’ll see in just a minute. If you come back home, Daddy is waiting on the porch. He wants to give you a ring, new sandals, and a new robe. You are about to be celebrated by about 25,000 people for what God is doing in your life. I don’t care what trough you were drinking and eating out of last night; the grace of God and your place at the table and the party are waiting on you right here in the Kingdom of God.
Today, I want to give you an opportunity to accept Jesus as your personal Lord and Savior. It is the greatest decision I’ve ever made. It took me from being a liar, a manipulator, and someone who was addicted to pornography, to having an insurance fraud case and felonies. I was a mess, but God said, „With all of that, give it to Me. Don’t compare yourself to them; just come to Me, and I’ll give you a calling, a career, I’ll change your character, and I’ll put you in a lane to run.“ Today, I’m not a perfect man; I’m a progressing man trying to get as many people to Daddy’s house as possible.
Today is your day of salvation. Get up off the pigpen and come back to the palace. We’ve been waiting on you. On the count of three, we’re about to pray, and if you want to be included in this prayer to give control of your life back to the only one—the Master Creator of you, His masterpiece—I want you to lift your hands. One: you’re making the greatest decision of your life. Two: I’m proud of you, but more than that, your name will be written in the Lamb’s Book of Life for eternity. Three: just shoot your hand up in the building or around the world. Yes, I see you; I see you, my brother; I see you, my sister. And if I don’t see you, God sees you. Heaven is standing up right now; we’re clapping, but God is rejoicing at a whole other level.
So we’re going to pray. There are thousands of people who are going to celebrate you. There are 15,500 who have come to Transformation Church this year and done what you’re about to do. Today, we’re adding to that number, and I want you to know your journey doesn’t have to be compared to anybody else’s. Now, Transformation Church, you all know nobody prays alone. We’re going to pray this prayer out loud for the benefit of those coming to Christ. So let’s lift our hands and say:
God, take control. Thank You for being my Lord and Savior. Today, I uncuff from comparison and I cuff to You. I believe You lived, You died, and You rose again with all power just for me. Today, I give You my life. I will serve You; I will love You forever. I believe You lived, You died, and You rose again just for me. Change me, renew me, transform me. I’m Yours. In Jesus' name, Amen.