Michael Todd - Forgiveness Understood (The Forgiveness Process)
Let’s give God some praise this morning! I said, let’s give God some praise this morning—in your home, on the track, in your car. I am fired up for what God is about to do today! Hey, listen, I need you to do me a favor, because if you are here today, we believe this is a divine appointment—God has maneuvered everything in your life to get you to this point right here. What I want us to do is to recognize that God has given me a word, and I’m about to preach and teach the Bible. I hope to bring you to a space where you find revelation. But there’s one thing I’ve realized: if your heart is not open, I can say all of these things, God can say all of these things, and the Holy Spirit can be trying to do this work in you. But if your heart is closed, it can’t happen!
So at the start of today’s message, I want us to ask God to open our hearts. I need you to do something for me right now in your home. I know some of you might think, «Oh, this may be a little weird,» and my girlfriend is sitting right there, and I just cussed her out last night. It’s okay, it’s okay! I just want to let you know that the next hour will be more productive if your heart is open. God doesn’t care about the prosperity of your hands; He cares about the posture of your heart.
So right now, as a sign of surrender, come on, I don’t care what these hands did this week. I don’t care what these hands were doing this week. Right now, we are about to consecrate our lives to God. Come on, just put your hands out like this. Father, here we are—the ones speaking included—asking like David, «Father, if there’s anything in us that’s not like You, would You remove it and reveal it? Because today, we want to be pleasing and acceptable before You. If we’ve said anything or hurt anybody, God, if we’ve hurt ourselves, if we’ve blasphemed You, if we’ve done things that are not like what You’ve called us to do, Father God, right now we’re saying, 'Give us clean hands and a pure heart so that we might serve You.'»
Come on, right now, you’ve got to say it: «God, change us from the inside out!» Come on, somebody say that right now, «God, change me from the inside out!» Come on, there are people saying this all over the world. Somebody say it again: «Change me from the inside out.» And God, today I thank You that as Your word comes forth—not my word, not Pastor Mike’s word, not Transformation Church’s word—but Your word comes forth today, I thank You that it would illuminate every dark place in my heart. Come on, somebody needs to believe that right now: «God, I thank You that through Your word, You would illuminate, bring revelation, bring light to every dark place in my heart.» Today, I’m submitted to the transformation that will happen because of the truth. If You tell me to go forgive somebody, I am submitted to the transformation of the truth. If You tell me to stop smoking, I am submitted—I feel this—to the transformation from the truth.
Father, when the truth comes in, nothing can stay the same. God, when Your word comes in, it’s the only book, Father God, that when we read it, it reads us. Today, we are saying our hearts are open. Do a deep work in us in Jesus' name! If you agree, why don’t you put your hands together and say, «Amen»? Drop an «Amen» in the comments right now! I’m pumped up because we are in week four of a series we’re calling «Help Me F.U.» I love saying that, because up until this point it meant one thing, but after these ten weeks, it’s going to have a new meaning for you in your entire life. We are talking about forgiveness, and we want to welcome you if this is your first time at Forgiveness University. This is a place where your life can be transformed from the inside out as you learn the principles of forgiveness.
Now, I know this is something that, for many of you, is hard to grasp, and right now I knew when I started this series— I love God and I love the time I spend with Him because He gives me forewarning of certain things that are going to happen. He told me by week four, you’ll have the real class that will graduate. He said it would take three weeks to get the people out of here that like the idea of change. It would take three weeks to get the people who were saying, «Oh yeah, forgiveness!» and then they’ll actually see that it starts challenging their tradition and their religion and that they’re going to actually have to do something. He said, «Week four, you’re going to find out who’s really into this.» So if you made it today, I want to give you a hand clap right now! Come on, all over the world, why don’t you clap your hands? Because you are about to experience a life that is so freeing because you have been able to understand one of the core principles that Christ asked every believer to have, which is forgiveness.
I say this every week, and I’m going to continue to say it every week: write this point down: forgiveness is a primary spiritual discipline of every Christ follower. It is foundational. You cannot be a Christian and not forgive. Well, then why are there so many who claim the title but not the lifestyle? We claim the title of Christians, but have no action. It would be like a basketball player claiming he was going to the NBA with no shots made. And for some reason, because we go around and go to church and do religious activities, God would rather you never go to church again and live the word than actually go every day and have no proof of it. I know that’s a big deal, because God is saying if you’re going to follow Me, act like Me. If you’re going to live with My name, you’ve got to actually bear My character. And forgiveness is primary for all of us.
That’s why in week one it was kind of like our orientation; we talked about the gift of forgiveness. In week two we talked about how offenses build fences and keep us in prison, but we want our offense to be under construction. In week three, we talked about how God, not what we did, but what He did— this offended a lot of people, but what He did was forgive us. Ultimately, when we repent and we trust God and put our faith in Him, we are forgiven, and we can never give something to somebody else that we have not experienced for ourselves.
So that was the first three weeks, and this week the message is entitled «Forgiveness Understood.» F.U.—forgiveness understood! You know what I found out is that even though we’ve been through three weeks of Forgiveness University, most of us still do not understand forgiveness yet. And look what the word tells us in Proverbs 4:7. It says, «Wisdom is the principal thing; therefore, get wisdom.» Everybody say «Get wisdom!» This is where everybody focuses, because wisdom means applied knowledge. It means we learn something and we actually apply it. But look at the other part of this scripture: «And in all you’re getting, get understanding.»
So you don’t just need to apply something; you need to understand why you are applying it. So many times in church and in our culture, we don’t care about the process. Let’s be honest; a lot of us get instructions to something and we throw the instructions away. We just want it to work! If you want to dye your hair, I’ve seen people—and some of y’all have done it too—like when they say, «Oh yeah, this goes with this, this goes with this; put it in for a little bit.» We just want to do it; we don’t want to understand why it works and how it works. God says if you’re actually going to display Me in culture, if you’re actually going to represent Me in the world, if you’re actually going to be the change in your family, you can’t just do it—you’ve got to be able to understand it.
The problem is I see it all over social media and in our lives: we do things we don’t understand. We read a Bible that we won’t take the time to comprehend. We get into marriages without understanding how relationships work. (Plug for «Relationship Goals» —go get that everywhere!) All I’m telling you right now is if you don’t understand a thing, abuse is inevitable.
What people do with forgiveness is they abuse it—they use it as a way to keep control and manipulate someone. Abuse—abuse! When you don’t understand things, abuse is always coming. God told me, «Michael, I want forgiveness to be understood over these ten weeks.» So today, I’m going to take us as a teacher—I have no examples today. Nothing’s coming out today. This is the class for the people who are going to listen. I need to take the level up! You’re in a college course right now; I’m not giving you any construction paper or examples or play-dough to work with—this is for the mature! Today I’m going to give you a lot of scripture, and I’m praying that your heart is open to receive it.
We’re going to the textbook, and I want you to understand forgiveness. Uh-oh, some people just walked out of the class! But the thing about forgiveness: write this point down: without the revelation of forgiveness, we are left in ruins. If you do not get this understanding of what God did and how we’re supposed to extend it to other people, our lives are left in ruins.
And you’re saying, «No, my life is not a mess!» But you’re falling apart. My God! I do whatever I want, and you’re the loneliest you’ve ever been because you won’t forgive. You think everybody’s success has something to do with you, because you can’t celebrate anyone when God does something great in their life. You feel like nobody’s ever accepted and celebrated you, so unforgiveness has got you trapped in ruins.
I’m in your business right now. Your business didn’t do what their business did this year, and now you think that somehow God has favored them over you. You don’t know that you’re in a process to actually learn the things you’re meant to do, but because your vision is so obscured, you’re taking offense from everybody because of what God didn’t do for you. Oh, your life is in ruins, and God is saying this is why you have to understand what I’ve done for you so that you can extend it to other people. Forgiveness is essential. So, I’m going to give you some scriptures. Let’s go to the Bible—Psalms 86:5: «O Lord, You are so good, and so ready to forgive.» Have you ever been ready to do something? There’s an anticipation when you’re ready to do something. Like, there’s a—hold on, what are you doing?
Let me give you this picture: have y’all ever had a dog? I mean a good dog—not like Cujo or those aggressive dogs that some of y’all have that are pit bulls. No, I’m talking about a good dog. I had a good dog one time, and I didn’t really like him that much, but we had a good dog named Tyson. And one thing about Tyson was that he was always ready to go outside. Like, he was anticipating the moment. If I even got up to go to the kitchen, Tyson would be on it!
If I walked towards the door, he was right there waiting. The Bible says God is so good that He is already anticipating the moment to forgive. I want somebody to hear me say that right now, because you’ve been thinking that God would not accept all the brokenness that you are. He’s waiting from the balconies of heaven saying, «I think today is the day! I think Sally is actually going to give her life to Me. I think he is ready to forgive you!» Somebody say that: «My God is ready to forgive me! My God is anticipating my turnaround! My God wants nothing more than a relationship with me!» He’s ready! When you understand that God is ready to forgive you, then you understand the next part of the scripture: He’s so full of unfailing love for all who ask for Your help.
1 John 1:9 says, «If we confess our sins,» which is another way of saying repent—it’s not something you do in front of everyone on social media like, «I messed up so much and I want change.» That’s not it! God just says, «Hey, I messed up. I keep doing this. It’s wrong to run to, and I’m turning to You! He said if you repent, He is faithful and just to do what? Make you sign a contract that you’ll never do it again? No! He’s faithful and just to do what? Forgive us our sins! And then He’s so good; He doesn’t just forgive us—He will cleanse us from all unrighteousness!
I didn’t see last week’s message. You need to go back and look at what Jesus Christ did for all of us to give us righteousness. Ephesians 1:7: „In Him“ (that’s Jesus) „we have redemption through His blood, the forgiveness of our trespasses, according to the riches of His grace.“ I love this! Remember, God’s forgiveness is God’s grace, and we experience that through all of our trust. How many people have crossed the line? Raise your hands right now. You have trespassed; you have gone into areas where you shouldn’t be. How many people have trespassed? That’s all of us! The only reason that any of us can be made right with God is that God made a way for us to be forgiven.
Psalms 32:5 — I acknowledge my sin to You, and I did not cover my iniquity. I said, „I will confess my transgressions to the Lord,“ and guess what the Lord did? It says, „and You forgave me the iniquity of my sin.“ Then, I love this part: it says, „Selah.“ Think about it. Think about all the iniquity of your sins. Think about all the DMs that nobody will ever see, but you know you sent. Think about all the emails. Think about all the pictures. Think about all the conversations. And God said, „I have a record of all of them, and when you turn to Me, I am so ready to forgive that I press delete.“
See, until we recognize the magnitude of what God offers us, we might think we’re fine. I know there are self-righteous people sitting here thinking, „I’ve never done anything.“ You’re a liar; that’s exactly what you are, and I just have to say it. The proud, the ones who don’t realize their need for God, He says, „I’m the furthest away from you.“ He said, „I’m close to the brokenhearted and to those who realize they have a need for Me.“ That’s why I can stand up here and say, „I may be preaching to you, but I need the forgiveness of God just as badly as every other person who is on this stream.“
And to those who are getting drunk right now, I am the one who didn’t come to church; I am the one who needs the grace of God. Until you live like that, you have a figment of your imagination. You remember last week when I gave you the Ephesians 4:32 checklist? I want to put this up here; this is one of the scriptures that really wrecked me about forgiveness. It says, „Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another as God in Christ forgave you.“ And I said, „That’s hard to do.“ But as we walked through it for about 40 minutes last Sunday, we realized that the revelation is in reverse. Shout out to the team who did that! Shout out; I love y’all.
Okay, we found that when you understand what God did for you and that God forgave you, then you can actually extend that forgiveness to one another, even though they don’t deserve it. And what happens as a result? It becomes muscle memory; then you’re tenderhearted. For people who don’t even agree with you—people who vote differently than you, people who act and come from a different side of town—you can be kind to one another. I found that this scripture has more weight in how we live our lives than I thought because it is an antidote to something.
Let me ask you a question: I need everybody to do something—just trust me. Everybody put both hands in the air. Okay? And if I say something that you’ve experienced, I want you to put one of your hands down for each thing I mention. Both hands in the air. I see you all over! Okay. How many people have had bitterness in their hearts? Put your hand down—one of them—keep the other one up. How many people have had rage in your heart before? Uh-huh, Scott, put your hands down. You know I can tell your story.
How many people have been angry? How many people have used harsh words? How many people have slandered others, even when you didn’t actually know the facts but talked about them as if you did? How many people have had all types of evil behavior? Is anybody’s hands still up? I just want to know: is anybody’s hands still up? Well, what I found when I read the scripture—I love the Bible—is that this Ephesians 4:32 is an antidote to Ephesians 4:31.
Let’s look at it: „Get rid of all bitterness, rage, anger, harsh words, and slander, as well as all types of evil. Instead, be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another just as God through Christ has forgiven you.“ You want to stop being bitter? You want to stop using harsh words? You want to stop slandering people, in person and on social media? You want to stop doing that? I have the antidote: Ephesians 4:32—be kind, tenderhearted, forgive people just as God forgave you.
I’m trying to tell you that when you learn the art of forgiveness, it doesn’t just free that person from something; it frees you from something. It frees you from bitterness. See, y’all don’t want to be helped; you would rather hold a grudge than be free. You would rather let them know you’re mad at them than actually not walk in anger. I told you to put on your big boy drawers and your big girl panties for this lesson. I’m trying to help you right now. God’s saying, „If you choose forgiveness, it also comes with freedom.“ Forgiveness comes with freedom. When you forgive, things don’t bother you the same way. When you forgive, you’re not so torn by everything happening.
Forgiveness comes built-in with freedom. Have you ever bought your kids a toy or received something new that came with batteries? I hate the people who put the batteries in there. You don’t give me everything I need—add an extra dollar, give me everything I need to start it up. But the worst thing is getting home and realizing you need D batteries or AA batteries. That’s what so many people experience when they don’t truly forgive. They’re trying to figure out how to live a Christian life unpowered. They’re trying to figure out how to have joy, but they don’t forgive; thus, they didn’t come with the batteries. Everything you need comes if you do it the way God asks you to do it, but because you’re trying to pick and choose— „Well, I’ll go to church, but I won’t forgive them.“ „I will speak in tongues, but I’ll be mean.“
He says, „I can’t guarantee the product if you don’t actually get the whole package.“ And that’s why forgiveness brings freedom. This is why I’m talking about this for ten weeks because I know people don’t understand forgiveness yet. Write this definition down; this is going to change your life, okay? It’s a long definition, but it’s worth typing on your phone or writing down, because I’m about to walk through this whole thing for the rest of my sermon: „Forgiveness is the intentional and voluntary process by which a victim undergoes a change in feelings and attitude regarding an offense and overcomes negative emotions such as resentment and vengeance.“
That’s so good; I’m going to say it again for everybody that’s still writing: „Forgiveness is“ —everybody say „forgiveness is“ — because a lot of times, we experience what forgiveness is not. But I want you to understand what forgiveness is. So, forgiveness is the intentional and voluntary process by which a victim undergoes a change in feelings and attitude regarding an offense—something happened—and overcomes negative emotions such as resentment and vengeance.
Let’s take that bite by bite, and I’m going to give you today what I’m calling the pillars of forgiveness, okay? So write that down: „Pillars of Forgiveness.“ Anytime you have pillars, the reason you have a pillar is because something is supposed to go on top of it. What I’m saying is your best life, the life God called you to live, the life He’s calling for others to be able to stand upon, has to be built on the pillars of forgiveness.
So the first pillar I want you to write down is: „Forgiveness is never an accident.“ Forgiveness is never an accident. If I’m going to experience forgiveness in my life, it will be intentional. Anyone who thinks, „One day, me and my father’s relationship will be okay,“ is wrong. Oh no, no; one day that first person—the first girlfriend who broke my heart will want to be friends again—no, you won’t, because forgiveness is intentional.
Now, most believers would agree that prayer is intentional. Nobody makes you pray! If I’m going to pray, I’m going to be intentional, saying, „Lord, I thank You today.“ You’re intentionally thinking about what you need to pray for; you’re considering all that other stuff. We can agree that prayer is intentional. Look what the Bible says in Mark 11:25: „And whenever you stand and pray, forgive.“
Hold on. No, no, no! I pray for my food; I pray for my cousin Bobo; I pray that I find a man this week; I pray; I pray that I get the new job; I pray that my likes go up on Instagram; I pray that people watch my videos; I pray my kids will be able to do the things I’ve taught them; I pray that my house gets paid off; I pray for my car—and Jesus said, „Every time you pray, forgive.“
Oh, that’s good Bible right there! Stop praying; start forgiving. Because the thing is, if your prayer isn’t being heard, it could be because of the unforgiveness in your heart. Like, we don’t talk like that. But as intentional as we are about prayer, God is saying, „Every time you stand to pray, forgive.“ I want you to sit with that: every time you pray for your food, forgive. Every time you say, „God, I just thank You for this job,“ the next thing you should say is, „And Lord, if there’s anybody I need to forgive, show me.“
Y’all be doing 21 days of prayer and fasting and don’t forgive nobody! I’m going to need security; somebody’s going to drive up here and try to throw tomatoes at me. It doesn’t matter, because if you’re praying, you need to be forgiving. It says, „And whenever you stand to pray, forgive.“ Then it goes further, because He knew some of us would be like, „Okay, I’ll just ask for forgiveness.“ It says, „If you have anything against anyone…“
Oh, I love it: „Anything against anyone?“ If you have anything against anyone—anything against anyone—even my cousin? Anything against anyone—even my daddy? Anything against anyone—even that girl? Anything against anyone—even myself? He said, „Forgive them.“ Every time you come to pray, if you got anything against anyone, so that the filter comes off your prayer.
Your prayer is being filtered; it’s being blocked; it’s not coming through properly because of the unforgiveness in your heart. It says, „So that your Father also, who is in heaven, may extend the same measure of forgiveness of your trespasses that you’re extending to other people.“
Pillar number one: forgiveness is never an accident; it’s intentional. Pillar number two: This definition says that forgiveness is the intentional and voluntary. I got to park on voluntary for one second so I can get to this second pillar—forgiveness can’t be forced. Nobody can make you forgive. Pastor Mike is up here sweating, and I’m trying to preach to you. I’m giving you examples; I’m doing this. And the truth is, after 10 weeks, some people are still going to be like, „Nope!“
They’re not just going to say „no,“ they’re going to say „hell no.“ „You don’t know what they did to me.“ „You don’t understand how much this cost me.“ „You don’t know.“ And guess what my response is when you want to have a meeting with me? „Fine, have it. See what that cancer does to your relationships.“ No, it would be the equivalent of me telling somebody, „You have cancer,“ and the person saying, „I don’t want surgery.“
Well, we could do chemo; we could do this; we could do that. No; after a while, the doctor will say, „I’ve let you know everything that can be done, but I can’t force you to do it.“ What I’m trying to tell some people right now, who only clicked on here to see if I was going to talk about people who were commenting online yesterday, is that I don’t care if they don’t forgive! I did what I was supposed to do and let you know about forgiveness. But forgiveness can’t be forced. Can’t nobody make you forgive your uncle. Can’t nobody make you forgive your coworker.
And what I’m trying to say to you is that it is voluntary. There has to be something in your heart that says, „This is not good for me. This is not good for what God’s called me to do. This anger, this rage, this bitterness is not good, even if it’s cute in the corner of the living room of my heart, and people come in and admire it once in a while and say stuff like, 'I can’t believe you’ve been here with all of this stuff in your life.'“
You’ve almost taken it as a badge of courage, wearing it like, „Can’t nobody go through what I’ve been through and still be me.“ And you actually are doing that. And God’s saying, „Keep it, because I’m going to let you know that the life without this is way better.“ But forgiveness can’t be forced.
Let me give you some scripture, because I know some of y’all sitting there confused. 2 Corinthians 9, and all my life, I’ve heard this scripture as an offering-time scripture. But the Holy Spirit gave me a revelation about this scripture that changed my life. Look at it. It says, „Each of you should give—not give money, but give….“ So whatever you put behind that, that’s what you’re giving.
„Each of you should give forgiveness. You should give the forgiveness that you’ve already decided in your heart to give, not reluctantly, not under compulsion, for God loves what type of giver? A cheerful giver.“ When you cheerfully give forgiveness, God sees Himself, because that’s what He did. „For God so loved the world that He gave…“
He said, „I see My character when you’re giving people what they don’t deserve. I see Me.“ I think He created us in His image and His likeness, and what He wanted to do was get a picture on the earth of what he’s already done in heaven, let it be our reality. If we sing that in worship songs but don’t live it in real life, He said to give what you’ve already decided in your heart to give. What I came to tell somebody today is that God is not going to force you to forgive someone, but I believe by the power of the Holy Spirit that today, someone is going to make a decision. I don’t know how, and I don’t know when, but in my heart, I’m choosing to forgive. Somebody needs to believe that right now. I see faith opening someone’s heart right now.
God is saying, „I can’t force you to do it, but I can help you if you let Me into that situation.“ But you have to decide in your heart before Pastor Mike does a sermon series, before you’re sitting at the funeral. Do you see how it says not to give under compulsion? Most of us want to forgive on our deathbed. Most of us, when we see loss, that’s when we want to forgive. We start making up different stories about what actually happened to justify our feelings because we are trying, under compulsion, to get things right. You were a good dad? No, he wasn’t; he wasn’t there at all. He wasn’t able to be there. But you should be able to remove that from your heart, not under pressure. I’m talking right now: forgiveness can’t be forced, and God’s saying, „I need you to do it, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for I love a cheerful giver.“
Look at verse 8; I love this. When you give like that, God is able to bless you abundantly. It doesn’t matter if they accept the forgiveness. It doesn’t matter if they acknowledge what you said. It doesn’t matter if they act like it didn’t happen. God said that because you acted in My character, because you moved and let Me be God in your life, you remember who I am, right? I’m the God who’s able to bless you abundantly, so that in all things, at all times, having all that you need, you will abound in every good work. God says if you act in My character in all things, at all times, you will have all the abundance that I can provide for you. Do you know why I started forgiving people? Because when I started forgiving them, God started turning situations around for me, to the point where it was like it wasn’t worth it for me to hold on to anger. There are situations where I need God to show up in my life at all times with all of His abundance. He said when you give forgiveness, when you give in the character that I’ve called you to, that’s the access you receive.
Pillar number three: I don’t have time; I’m not going to make it through this whole message, I can already tell. It says forgiveness is necessary in failure. It’s not just that forgiveness is never an accident or that it can’t be forced; you need to understand why forgiveness is even necessary. You never need to forgive if there’s not a failure. Many of us do not allow anyone around us to fail. I know it’s hard, but if you’re going to live life and deal with people, they will fail you. Your husband will fail you; your wife will fail you; your grandparent will fail you; your cousin will fail you; your best friend will fail you; your business partner will fail you; your pastor will fail you.
This is why we get so broken, because we’ve never allowed any margin for people’s failure. They don’t believe it when I say it, so let’s go to the Word: Colossians 3:13 says, „Make allowances for each other’s faults.“ That’s a powerful scripture. You have to make room for people to fail you. This is the part of the Bible they don’t want to hear; they want to hear that everything is going to work out right on time. But God says make room for it. If you’re going to have these pillars of forgiveness set up, plan for failure. Make allowances for each other’s faults.
But watch what it doesn’t say: and then cut them off when they fail you. That’s what we want the scripture to say! When they fail me, fight them! That’s what we want it to say. But look what it says: make allowances for each other’s faults and then forgive anyone who offends you. Like, hold on—after the faults, forgive. After Natalie said what she said, forgive her. After Michael forgot Valentine’s Day, forgive him. After they messed you over, it says make allowances for each other’s faults and forgive anyone who offends you. And then it tells you to do something powerful: remember. The reason we can’t forgive is often because when the offense occurs, we forget. He says make allowances for the fault, forgive them; and because that’s going to be hard, remember that the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others.
The reason I’m being so deliberate about this is because if you’re going to build a life that’s sturdy, you have to learn the principle of forgiveness. You have to know that it has to be intentional; it’s never an accident. You have to understand that forgiveness cannot be forced; nobody’s going to make you forgive them. But if you can get God into your heart and allow Him to start giving you His character in that area, you will want to forgive them. And forgiveness is necessary in failure. People are going to fail you, and you will still have grace to forgive them. Y’all see how quiet it is? I love it! That’s how you know that you’re going to have to go back and study this.
Let me give you the fourth pillar: forgiveness, oh, they’re not going to like this one, is a process. See, what you all want is for me to say „come to the altar,“ and you come up here, and I say a few words and you feel chills, and you go away, feeling great about forgiving. There’s nowhere in the Bible, and I’m sorry that the church has done a poor job of telling you that 30 years of problems go away in 30 seconds. It’s not true; the altar experience is not the end of it. It’s usually the beginning of it. It’s usually the moment where you have been open enough to allow God in, and what we do is shut off the process at the starting line.
Imagine a runner who has the ability to win the race, and they say, „On your mark, get set, go!“ This is what you look like in forgiveness: on your mark, get set, go! Whoa! I’m really doing well in this forgiveness thing! How you doing, brother? Blessed and highly favored! Had to forgive a few people this week. On your mark, get set… go! And this is what we’ve applauded in the church for decades. I’m trying to walk out my purity, but at the starting line, we stop. And God says, anything that I’m going to do, it’s going to be a process. Everybody say it with me: process. Come on, say it again, like it’s a curse word: process! That’s why at Transformation Church, we always say it’s not about perfection; it’s about progress. This is going to be a process.
When you ask me, I have people all the time coming to me and saying, „Pastor Mike, I feel so refreshed from what God’s going to do in my life; how long is it going to take for me not to remember?“ This is my answer to them all the time: „Time.“ Well, when will I not have the urges to watch pornography? How long will that take? Time. When will I stop really lusting after what other people have? It’s going to take time. Well, okay, I understand; it’s going to take time, but how much time? Depending on how much time you give to God to work in you. This is the difference between immaturity and spiritual maturity.
The difference between me playing basketball and LeBron playing basketball is vast, but one of the major differences is his devotion and time spent on it. I make time for fast food. I make time for binge-watching Netflix for days. I literally watched him win the championship this past Sunday, shout out to Laker Nation, and that man was back training three days later. You just won the highest pinnacle of the sport, and instead of going to an island, you thought it would be more beneficial to go back and be devoted to what got you there. What God is saying is that this process is going to take time, but you get to determine how much time it takes based on how much time you put in. This is why I believe God is calling the church back to a season of devotion.
You can’t get all your knowledge from Pastor Mike. If I’m the only one who tells you to open the scripture, this is going to take a long time for you. But one moment in the presence of God, one moment receiving something that you know didn’t come from your pastor, your leader, your cousin, or an Instagram post—when you sat in the presence of God and He whispered something onto your heart and it became real to you—that’s how you get healed. That’s how you start moving in the process of forgiveness. That’s why Ecclesiastes 3:11 says, „He made everything beautiful in its time.“ I have a vision for your life that everything that’s been holding you back—God has an appointed time when everything that looks like ashes right now will become beautiful. Everything that looks like a desert will burst into vibrant life and flowers.
I’m trying to paint a picture for somebody. God has an appointed time for the seed that’s being sown right now to turn into a forest of joy, love, and hope. But if you don’t water the seed that God puts there, if you don’t cut out the weeds—those weeds can be friends, activities, or family ideas—if you don’t remove the weeds, they’ll choke out the beauty that God is trying to cultivate in you. So how long is it going to take, Pastor Mike? Time. Because forgiveness is a process.
All right, let me give you the fifth pillar: forgiveness transforms feelings. This one is the most miraculous to me because when I hated people, I really did! No, let me be real: they took money from me; they looked ugly. You know when someone plays you royally, and you can’t stand them? I couldn’t stand their names, but when I forgave them, I found myself thinking, „What size shoe do they wear? Maybe I should send them something.“ No, what the hell is wrong with you, Mike? You aren’t sending them anything; they stole from you and your family! And the Holy Spirit said, „Wake up! I need you to pray for somebody.“ „God, who do you want me to pray for? Pray for him!“
I ended up giving that little boy, the child of the person who had wronged me, something. Do you remember when that person who offended us so deeply—I’m not saying any names—when their child walked up to our house asking for something? That was one of the most traumatic experiences of my life because my unforgiveness wanted to hold that child hostage. You didn’t know that your unforgiveness will transfer to people who didn’t even do things to you? You’ll start disliking others and holding them accountable because they were associated with the offender. They weren’t even the ones who committed the offense, but because you share the same last name, or work at the same place, or go to that church, everyone gets involved. Now you’re carrying the offense of hundreds, if not thousands, of people who don’t even know you or what the offense was.
This man I was harming—Scott, you already know how I felt about him—then God said forgive him. I thought I was good because I hadn’t seen him in a long time. But remember, anytime you think you’re good, God will test it. Everything that you think is the devil isn’t always the devil; sometimes it’s just a quality assurance of your faith. Sometimes, the job layoff is just to test whether you trust God. This is where I’m talking about maturity and going from faith to faith. God tells us that when you truly forgive, you’ll know it because it transforms how you feel.
I ended up giving that little boy something from the man who had wronged me profoundly. There was a time when if he’d walked into the church, it was „on sight.“ Some of you don’t know the terminology, so let me clarify: „on sight“ means it doesn’t matter what you’re doing; as soon as we see each other, we’re going to fight. I remember seeing myself in a dream, praying for someone and, in that dream, reaching over and hitting him. That’s how deeply the offense had taken hold in me. My heart, but the reason I knew I forgave is that my feelings changed. It doesn’t mean I have to go be friends with them; we’re going to talk about that. Y’all are not even ready for that. I see everybody asking, „What do you do? Do you…?“ No, no, no, no. This is for me right now. My feelings changed; they don’t even have to know that your feelings change for your feelings to change. And God is saying, Romans 12:2, „I’m so sorry. I know you live in a world in 2020 where there are a lot of crazy issues going on right now, but do not copy the behaviors and customs of this world.
Let God transform you into a new person by changing the way you think about the situation and the person.“ It doesn’t end in action if it doesn’t start in thought. I’m going to say that again: it doesn’t end in me doing it if it didn’t first start in thought. And God’s saying if I can get you to forgive in your thoughts, if I can get you to just see yourself not being as mad when they’re brought up, if I can just see yourself doing it, then I can transform the way you think. Then you will learn to know God’s will for you.
I want to know my will. I want to know your will for my life. God said, „Yeah, start doing things my way, and you’ll know God’s will, which is good, pleasing, and perfect.“ Let me give you number six: forgiveness is a fight. Yup, not the fight like I wanted to do to, oh boy. This is the fight that will happen between one person—you. I can go through all of these steps, and I will still have to do this every day I wake up. There will be so much evidence built up as to why you should not forgive them, and you’re going to have to fight with yourself to make sure you stay in the state, the heart space, and the heart posture of forgiveness.
I want you to understand that this will be a part of your journey with Christ that you will need Him to walk with you every day of your life. That’s why people who say they know God but don’t talk to Him—I’m trying to figure out how you’re even alive. Because for me to do what God’s called me to do, it is a fight. Can I be completely honest? I preach every week. This week, I posted something on Instagram, and the religious saints went off. I began to look at a few of the comments. I was on the plane headed back here and began to look at the comments. The Holy Spirit said, „Stop looking; shut it down or you’re going to give Me too much to have to work you through to give the people what they need tomorrow.“
And at that moment, with internet connection on the plane, with Instagram ready to be opened, the forgiveness that I had to extend for the seven comments I saw was a fight. „God, they didn’t even listen to the whole message!“ It doesn’t matter if you allow that unforgiveness to reside in your heart; it’s going to mess you up. They don’t deserve it! Have they not read your word? He has two followers. I can only lead transparently. Fight for this forgiveness, Mike; there’s so much on the line, not just because you’re ministering, but because you’ve got to go love your wife. Not just because you’re on a platform; your kids need you. Not because people are going to see this—it doesn’t matter about that. It matters about what I can do through you when the filter of your heart is wide open.
The very person that’s talking about you is going to need you in two days. But if your heart is cold and you don’t fight for this forgiveness, you’ll say something to offend them further. Then, what I wanted to use you to do, now I have to use a different person because you did not fight for the forgiveness. I’m preaching right now; I don’t know who I’m talking to, but you’re not going to be able to lay down and walk in this freedom of forgiveness. You’re going to have to get up every day and say, „Father, renew my mind today.“
„Father, I’m walking into a job where I know they don’t want me there, but God, I thank you that the fruits of the Spirit are my portion. I walk in there armed with love, joy, peace, patience, and kindness.“ You want the Word to really work in your life? Fight for your forgiveness. The test is coming; the holidays are upon us—Thanksgiving and Christmas. Every year when you walk into that house, and you know they don’t think you’re spending your life wisely and they’ve talked about you, and you walk in and you know this everything stops—will you fight for forgiveness then?
Will you say, „You know what? I’m going to pull a Galatians 6:9 on y’all fools. That’s what I’m going to do right now. Help me, Holy Spirit.“ So let’s not get tired of doing what is good, fighting for what God says is good, even if they don’t recognize it. I know who I’m living for, and it’s somebody higher and something greater. Let me fight for what’s good because at just the right—or there’s that word—time, we will reap the harvest of blessing if we don’t give up.
I came to tell somebody who’s been fighting for decades, years, months to try to forgive: don’t give up. I’m telling you, I know it seems like you’re stuck in the sludge of everything that happened and that it doesn’t feel like you can get out, but I came to tell you that’s why I’m here. That’s why we’re going to walk this thing out together. I believe that by the power of the Holy Spirit and getting an understanding of what forgiveness is, God is going to allow you to see a harvest on all the good seeds that you’ve sown— all the times you forgave, all the things that you did that weren’t by accident, that nobody forced you to do.
When they actually did fail you, and you were the victim, you gave yourself to the process, and then you allowed God to transform your feelings and stayed in the fight. God is going to give you a new level of freedom of forgiveness. It reminds me of the story found in John 8:3-11. You can read it on your own time, but there was a woman that the Bible says was caught in the very act of adultery. I have so many questions! Like, were y’all watching? What happened that y’all… Anyway, that’s for another time because religious people are always looking for somebody to fall.
Religious people are always looking for something so they can be on a higher pedestal. Do you all realize that all these pillars are the same height? The reason why is that God is not looking at the differences of what you do and how much scripture you read. When He sees us, He sees the same thing: it’s either sin or righteousness. These religious people were looking for her sin, and they brought Jesus—who was in the middle of giving a presentation, of a speech, preaching His tail off—and they threw this woman in front of Jesus and said, „Hey, um, Jesus, we caught her in the act of adultery.“
And Jesus probably was like, „Okay, so, um, the Law of Moses says to stone her, but what do you say?“ They had a law, but they were asking grace. The law said, but what do you say? They had to ask grace, and grace is a person—Jesus. When they asked Jesus this, this is what He did. He’s so undeniable; it says in verse 6 of John 8, „They were trying to trap Him into saying something they could use against Him.“ They weren’t even trying to get justice; they were just trying to trap Jesus.
Watch out for religious people who are just trying to trap people with their words because they didn’t like you in the first place. And He says to them, „Let the one who has never sinned throw the first stone.“ Then He stooped down again and wrote in the dust. When the accusers heard this, they slipped away one by one, beginning with the oldest. He said, „I ain’t got time for this. Cleophys, come on; let’s go eat!“ He just was like, „Ain’t nobody messing with this no more.“
Until Jesus—whoo—until Jesus was left in the middle of the crowd with the woman. Then Jesus stood up again and said to the woman, „Where are your accusers? Didn’t even one of them condemn you?“ „No, Lord,“ she said. „Neither do I, so go and sin no more.“ Watch; Jesus brought the woman there, and Jesus starts a process of forgiveness. It wasn’t an accident; He intentionally stopped doing what He was doing and got down with that woman. I don’t know what He was writing, and I don’t know what He was saying to her, but in my mind, the God that I know was saying, „This is going to pass. I know you messed up, but I still love you. I know that everybody in the world has counted you out, but I’m counting on you.“
„Jesus, what are you writing?“ „I’m just writing all the times that I saw them commit sins too. I’m just reminding them of My love for them. I’m just giving them time to understand.“ Jesus was so intentional, and nobody forced Him to do this. He literally decided that He was going to extend forgiveness to this woman, and then it was necessary because she actually did it!
I want you to see Jesus never defended the woman. He never said, „She didn’t do it; prove that she did.“ He knew she did it, and He still decided that it was necessary. What I’m trying to say is God knows you did it, and He still thinks it’s necessary to forgive you. And then this thing hit me: the Bible doesn’t say how long He was down there writing in the sand.
If forgiveness is a process, we don’t know if He was there for moments or hours, allowing the process of Him identifying with this broken, messed-up person to dawn on people. Like, „Yeah, I can’t beat them! Matter of fact, my bad.“ It was a process. How long is it gonna take? Time! He gets up, and this is the crazy thing: forgiveness transforms feelings. „Do what y’all want to do with her; I’m just asking this one thing: whoever’s never done anything like her, cast the first stone.“
Gangster move right here. It goes back to telling her, „You’re special to Me. Everything can change; I promise.“ And one by one, all of them walked away. At some point, as hyped as they were at the beginning, they weren’t that hyped. Their feelings transformed because of forgiveness.
But then comes the biggest point, and this is where many of you are: forgiveness is a fight. Can I show you where it is? Oh, in verse 11. Let’s start at verse 10. Everybody goes away; then Jesus stood up again and said to the woman, „Where are your accusers? Don’t even one of them condemn you?“ „No, no, Lord,“ she said. And Jesus said, „Neither do I. Now watch this: go and sin no more.“ Here’s the fight: I’m going to extend grace to you. Now I’m going to tell you to go, and you have a choice about what you’re about to go back to or go from here. This is the fight of forgiveness: do I fully accept what Christ just did for me, and can I extend that to others and live a different way?
The fight is to either go back to the very thing that I just got caught in. And God told me to tell some people today: He said the fight of forgiveness is between grace and go. God has extended your grace, and now He’s telling you to go. And what you decide in between there is going to change your entire life. That’s why I’m saying people are talking about, „Well, do you just think people are going to go sin and do all this stuff?“ You don’t have to give people a license to sin; they’re doing that anyway.
This is not what I’m letting you know: that the grace of God is available, and now you have the opportunity to fight for that forgiveness—to actually value what Christ has done for you, to actually put weight on what His sacrifice meant. And we will know it by how you go from here. What you do this week will prove if you actually accept the grace of God. How you treat other people this week will let us know if you fought for the forgiveness that God gave you or if you thought it was cheap.
I remember—I can only preach stuff that I live. I remember asking God for forgiveness for having sex outside of marriage and planning the next time I was gonna do it at the same moment. And as I look back on that time in my life, I didn’t understand God’s forgiveness. There’s no way I could have understood because I treated it as cheap. I acted like Him walking down that road while people threw things at Him and spat on Him and He got scourged, and then He was stretched out across—I acted like it was so that I could go back and do what pleased my flesh again.
When I think about that, I feel so bad because it wasn’t until I realized how expensive forgiveness and grace were that then it changed the way that I had to go. Today, I’m not telling you where you’re at, but your goal is telling yourself, the world, and God: if you really understand grace. That’s why the title of this message is „F You: Forgiveness Understood,“ because when you understand something when you change your action. When I understand how a car works, then I know that when I put it in drive, it’s going forward; when I put it in reverse, it’s going backward; and when I put it in neutral, it’s going to move according to the gravitational pull. When I understand this, it changes my actions.
When I understand the grace of God, then I can give forgiveness; I can stay away from people who take me back to the old way of thinking. I can get into the Word and devote my life to change so that I can help others. When I understand something, it changes how I act. So my question today is: Is forgiveness understood in your heart and your mind? Don’t answer it with a word; answer it with your life. Answer it with the way you treat that person who wronged you. Answer it this week when somebody posts something that opposes your political views. Oh, y’all know these next few weeks are going to be treacherous, right?
The crazy thing about it is the church is probably going to blend in with everybody else. „Come out from among them and be separate.“ Not during election season! God is saying, „I’m searching the whole world, looking for my character.“ Will you fight for this forgiveness today? I’m praying that God is doing a deep work in your heart so you can understand forgiveness. It makes me think, Charles, people always talk about forgiveness as something that happens after something occurs. But literally, if you study the word forgiveness, „for“ means before, and „givenness“ means generosity or something I’m extending. So, for God so loved the world that He gave before we did anything; He gave before we even existed. People think that forgiveness was given at the cross, but forgiveness was granted at Jesus' birth. Before we did anything, God knew what we would need.
So what did He do? He sent His one and only Son. What was God about forgiveness? Oh, it wasn’t an accident that He sent Jesus; it was intentional. Hold on; nobody forced Him to do it. He planned this before you were formed in your mother’s womb. I’m about to preach this: forgiveness is necessary in failure. We failed, and we continue to fail, and we sin against God. So before we sinned, before we needed it, before we made a debt, He paid it all. Because we failed, He said, „I’m going to put a process in place.“
So forgiveness was not given when He was on the cross. What did He say on the cross? „It is finished.“ What was finished? The process of forgiveness for humanity. What was finished? The way that you could extend forgiveness to somebody else. What was finished? The ability to forgive that father who failed you, that co-worker who failed you, and that family member who failed you. It was a process that took 33 years. He put it in place just for you and me. It took 33 years, and forgiveness transformed God’s feelings about us because anytime you receive it, He doesn’t see us as we are; He sees us as His Son. Christ is now the cloak that we wear—that’s why we can do things.
The Scripture says, „Come boldly before the throne of grace.“ If I’m wearing my filthy rags, I can’t come boldly to a king. But because I put my trust in Jesus and the process that He offered, and I repent and come to Him, I can walk with my head held high! That’s what Jesus purchased for you. They tell us it was a fight. How do we know it was a fight? It says He died on Friday. He died on Friday, but the forgiveness He wanted to give you, even though you cheated on your wife, and the forgiveness that He wanted to give you, even though you abandoned your children, and the forgiveness that He wanted to give you, even though you leaked that information that nobody was supposed to know—He said, „I’m going to have to fight for this one.“
And the Bible says He went down to the pits of hell, and for three days there was a war—a cosmic war that went on for all of us. The Bible said the resurrection was the sign that He defeated death, hell, and the grave, and rose victorious—not for Himself, but so that He could extend forgiveness to you and me. So, what are you saying, Pastor Mike? My last pillar is that forgiveness is available. What I need you to understand right now, as I stand here, is that because of what God did for you, He walked all of these pillars out, and now He’s only asking us to do what He already did for us. But you cannot give it until you experience it, and forgiveness has to be understood. I see by the Spirit that people right now, in the name of Jesus, are going to begin to walk through these steps of forgiveness.
I see it all over the world, in London and Texas, that people are going to find out where they are in the process, and they’re going to ask the Holy Spirit, „God, don’t just let me get to the end. Father God, let me start here!“ See, if I would have done it how I thought about it just now, this would not have been number one; this would have been number nine. See, because when I realize that forgiveness is available right now, I can start doing it for other people and walk through this process. I’m coming to serve notice on the enemy: everybody who’s been stuck in this state of being locked up when it comes to forgiveness, we are going to understand, and then use wisdom, and be able to get free.
We’re going to walk in the freedom of forgiveness, hands lifted up all over this world—no matter if you’re watching this right now or by rebroadcast. I’m about to pray for everybody. This is not the salvation call yet; this is just a call for everybody who wants to receive what Christ has already done. Come on, hands lifted!
Father, I pray right now that in this moment there’s something starting in the hearts. Father, there’s no pomp and circumstance; there are no examples. Father, I’m asking you, Holy Spirit, to do the heavy lifting. I did exactly what you told me to do: to give them the Bible on how important forgiveness is. And God, I’m asking you right now to do heart surgery on all of us—people who have been seeing themselves through the wrong lenses. Father, I thank you that today they receive the forgiveness that is available—the forgiveness that was finished on the cross but started, Father God, when You sent Jesus. I thank you, Father God, that forgiveness is going to be intentional—no more accidental forgivenesses. God, You’re moving us from the place we’ve been, and You’re taking us into the place You’re calling us to go right now. God, I thank you that this word goes deep—uncomfortably deep. I thank you that it’s going to make us change our actions—that between grace and the go, Father God, You’re going to change something on the inside of us. This week, somebody’s not going to do what’s normal—the thing that leads them away. Father God, I thank you that You’re doing a work. God, I can’t even name all the things that I feel in my heart that You’re beginning to do in people, but God, I just thank you that there is a transformation that has started today. God, help us understand forgiveness. Help us extend forgiveness. But, Father, more than anything today, thank you that we receive forgiveness.
If you’re watching right now, today the forgiveness of God is available. I know that religion and tradition try to tell you to change that, fix that up, clean that thing up first, and God says, „No, the church is the hospital for humanity, and I’m the great physician. Anything that you’re dealing with that’s hurting you and ailing you, I can fix it.“ He’s saying forgiveness is available. I don’t know how many people received Christ last week, but this is why this church exists—for everybody else who is thinking, „Oh, this is my church because of this,“ and „This is why my church,“ because of that. I don’t care about that. This whole thing is to bring souls into the kingdom and give people keys to be able to transform their lives.
Today, I want to let you know forgiveness is available. There are people—I feel it right now, I have goosebumps—that there are people right now about to make the decision that changes everything in their lives. You’re going to allow what Christ did; you’re going to receive it. I can have a gift for you that you don’t receive. It can already be paid for; it can already be purchased, and it can have your name on it. But if you don’t take it, it’s still not yours. So if you want to be included in the prayer we’re about to do, the prayer we’re about to say was the prayer that changed me, that took me from just knowing about God’s grace. It changed the way I walked, changed the way I talked, and treated people.
I went from a liar and a manipulator, a womanizer cheating on my wife before we got married, looking at pornography, doing all of these different things, being a manipulator in such a crazy form. God changed my life when I truly gave my life to Him. And today, that’s all I care about for you—not that you just go to church or post Scriptures, but it’s actually on your heart. Today, if you want me to include you in that prayer, I know we’re getting deep. I know this is going deep, and listen, I know that some people aren’t going to come back next week. Bye-bye! This class right here is for those who want to live a transformed life. This is going to change everything. We’re going to talk about how to forgive your father. We’re going to talk about how to forgive your friends. I mean, I literally—you’re still in the introductory phase, y’all. But if you don’t get it at this foundational level, if you don’t have the pillars together, you can’t even get to the more advanced stuff. And today, God is saying, „I want to just make My forgiveness available to you.“
If you want to be added to that prayer, on the count of three, I want you to shoot your hand up wherever you are. There’s no guilt; there’s no condemnation; there’s no shame in this. This is the greatest decision you will ever make. One, you’re making the best decision; two, we are so proud of you, but more than that, God is proud of you. Three! All over the world, just shoot your hands up. Come on, just shoot your hands up right now! All over the world, I feel the presence of God even in this moment. You can put your hands down.
We’re not asking you to confess everything you’ve ever done or do all of that other stuff in this moment. All I’m asking you to do is believe in your heart and confess with your mouth, according to Romans 10:9, and God says that you are saved. So are you ready to do it? Now Transformation Church knows that this is the start of a process, and we don’t let anybody start anything without feeling the community around the world. So you may be sitting in a room by yourself, but I promise you there are over 20,000 people who are about to say this prayer with you right now. And there are people in this room; there are people in Tanzania; there are people in Paris; there are people in Paris, Texas, that are about to say this with you. So everybody just lift your hands and say:
God, thank you for your forgiveness. Today I need you to come into my life and transform me. I’ve sinned a lot but thank you for grace. I believe You lived, You died, and You rose again with all power just for me. And today, I give You my life. Change me, renew me, transform me. I’m Yours. In Jesus' name, amen.